Bleacher Report - Articles by Nola Chick

Erin Andrews' Nude Hotel Video: Enough Is Enough

Nola Chick — Tue, 21 Jul 2009 00:22:26 -0400

We get it fellas…having an attractive woman talk about football is hot.

Your enthusiasm became overwhelmingly evident when you gave repeated Website visits to the midriff baring Fantasy Sports Girls, who rattled off in monotone NFL tidbits of the week. Their mundane ramblings even earned them a spot as regular contributors to the once highly respected FanHouse.

It’s a feat we fully-clothed female bloggers wouldn’t dare dream of.

If you’ve ever frequented the official Erin Andrews' gossip site a.k.a Deadspin, you could probably burn a full workday and you still wouldn’t get through half the Andrews related posts, butt shots, and side-boob references.

Oh and lest we forget, the oh-so-insightful commentary that typically follows each post, like this intellectual gem, “Look at the funbags on that hosehound.”

Andrews, an ESPN reporter who is often referred to by the site as “The Sideline Princess”, is probably more closely followed than Kobe, T.O., and A-Rod combined.

And hey, we get it. Sex sells…boys will be boys.

But is it possible that this constant desire to minimize female sports reporters, (you know, the ones who actually intend to be taken seriously), to microphone swallowing pin-ups, is crossing the line from irksome and disrespectful to downright dangerous?

News that Andrews was the victim of video voyeurism in her hotel room suggests that maybe, just maybe, it’s time we lay off the sideline skirt scoping, if only for a moment, and let these ladies actually do their jobs.

According to the latest reports, the purvey predator, who secretly taped Andrews, is trying to hock the video to the highest bidder; a get rich quick scheme apparently too sleazy for even TMZ to consider. While there’s no official word on what the video shows, the peephole camera is rumored to have picked up shots of Erin changing clothes in her room.

It’s not a prank or a scandal. It’s a little something we like to call sexual assault and despite efforts by some bloggers to make light of the situation, it’s not a laughing matter.

Our Website’s no stranger to ogling hotties.

Give us a few shirtless shots of Terrell Owens or Reggie Bush and we’ll give you a story that’s long on pictures and short on words. And we see nothing wrong with celebrating a woman’s beauty, regardless of her profession.

What’s disturbing is the near obsessive fascination with reporters like Andrews, NASCAR reporter Krista Voda, and Fox Sports’ Charissa Thompson. Hell, Andrews couldn’t even eat a sandwich without it becoming the top story on the biggest sports blogs in the country.

And while the media and bloggers can’t be blamed for some scum-bag’s decision to secretly tape a reporter in her room, the scum-bag certainly wouldn’t have taken the risk had their not been a market for it.

According to ABC News, searches for the video topped Google’s list of most searched items shortly after the news broke. And to think, we girls are the ones accused of watching sports for all the wrong reasons...

There needs to be some level of responsibility with regard to how these women are perpetually objectified by their “sports reporting” colleagues. What if we limited it to say, one closeup shot of Andrews in a sweater every other Brett Favre retirement update? After all, while Andrews may be known for her snug sweaters and V-neck tops, her fashion statements in no way scream “look at me, don’t listen to me” as say…a girl wearing Daisy Dukes and a halter top, while reading the weekly NFL injury report.

And you know what, not even that kind of blatant reliance on sexuality for notoriety merits what Andrews was subjected to in her hotel room.

Seriously, enough is enough.

Terrell Owens vs. T.O.: Reality TV Gold Mine

Nola Chick — Tue, 21 Jul 2009 00:00:31 -0400

Episode 1 of “The T.O. Show” lived up to all the hype.

Groupie love: Check.

Club hoppin’: Check.

Gratuitous shirtless shots: Check.

Somehow work in an elimination ceremony and I may have to add it to my DVR list.

After months of publicity, the show made its much anticipated debut on VH1 last night. It opened with Terrell Owens learning the news of his release from the Dallas Cowboys. We got to see the sensitive side of Owens. He seemed genuinely shocked and hurt.

While it didn’t seem like he was on the road to another “That’s my quarterback”-esque breakdown, you couldn’t help but notice the tears in his eyes.

Of course, it didn’t take long for sensitive Terrell to take a backseat to the self-obsessed T.O.

After signing with the Bills and being convinced by his publicists and long-time friends Monique and Kita to relocate to L.A., “The T.O. Show” starts to live up to its name. He gets it on in the hot tub with his real estate agent and hosts a groupie-palooza at his fabulous new L.A. crib.

Then, with the mere mention of a gorgeous ex-fiance by the name of Felicia, T.O. melts away and Terrell kicks and claws his way back to the surface.

Owens admits to mistreating and cheating on his supermodel/actress ex. (Pop up blog fact: Felicia currently stars on the soap “Days of Our Lives.”) At the nudging of his female friends, Terrell decides to pay Felicia a visit, equipped with roses and a grab bag of sentimental gifts.

During his talk with Felicia, whose stunning looks admittedly leave me a little distracted, you get the sense that either she still has a handle on his heart or they’re both really good at creating reality TV subtext.

What else did the opening episode reveal about the NFL star? For starters, he’s an equal opportunity groupie banger. (”Bring me your Asians, your Blasians, your Blondes, & Brunettes.”) His best friend Pablo’s farts are so powerful, not even LA smog and freeway wind can mask the odor.

And apparently NFL stars don’t make much time for pedicures. (Anybody else take note of Terrell’s crusty big toe?)

While it’s called “The T.O. Show”, it seems we’ll also get to learn a lot about the two ladies in Owens’ life with the patience to put up with his crap.

Monique and Kita play the role of Mrs. Garrett from “The Facts of Life.” They try to keep him grounded and provide the occasional chuckle-worthy moments, like their impromptu cheer of “T.O to the snow! Let’s go, to the snow” upon hearing Owens had signed with the Bills.

Their top priority is to get Owens to put his bad boy “T.O.” persona in his past so that Terrell can finally settle down with a good woman and focus on life after football.

Of course, the best part of these reality shows is most often the previews.

Coming up in future episodes of “The T.O. Show," Owens will reunite with his estranged father, run around shirtless, have an emotional visit with his grandmother, run across a field shirtless, and refer to himself as "the 8th wonder of the world"…then run up the Art Museum steps in Philadelphia a-la Rocky, shirtless.

Eagles fans who dared to watch this premiere probably choked on their cheesesteak at the sight of that one.

All in all, “The T.O. Show” is just what I expected from an NFL star who loves football just as much as he loves trouble…and himself. My only critique, what was up with all the shots of him fully clothed?

He Said, She Said: The Saints' First Round Draft Pick

Nola Chick — Fri, 13 Mar 2009 01:00:09 -0400

<----------------->

As the NFL Draft Day inches closer, all the “experts” are coming out of the woodwork. “Jason Smith will go first” says one guy. “Matt Stafford is the new Matt Ryan” says another. And from one blogger who calls himself “Queen B” came the bold assertion, “I’d like a sample of Josh Freeman’s ‘deep ball,‘” although something tells us that may not have been a sports blog…

There’s loads of chatter about who the Saints, with the 14th pick, will go after in the first round. So we’ve decided to bring you some of the most popular predictions. Then...the Chicks weigh in!

Prediction: Brian Cushing, OLB USC
Sources: Draft King, Draft Board
But Why?: Could fit in nicely with Jon Vilma in the 4-3. Shows poise in big games. Great size and speed.

Prediction: Vontae Davis, CB Illinois
Sources: Sporting News, Readers of Canal Street Chronicles, NFL.com
But Why?: He can play both free safety and corner

Prediction: Malcom Jenkins, CB/Safety, OSU
Sources: Draft Countdown, Walter Football
But Why?: Stronger at safety than cornerback. What he lacks in speed, he makes up for in skill.

Prediction: Michael Oher, OT, Ole Miss
Source: Like Seriously WTF? (For once we’re not being sarcastic a-holes. That’s the actual name of the blog.)
But Why?: Drew Brees needs better protection and the running backs could use a little help finding the hole. (Hehe…hole)

That’s what he said, but what does she say? Well, the Chicks are going with…Malcolm Jenkins. We’ve had our eyes on him since the 2007 season and he has yet to disappoint…well, except for at the combine when he ran a less than impressive 40.

But that’s what makes it even more likely he’ll still be around when the Saints make their pick. He doesn’t have the speed to be a corner but he’d fit in nicely as a free safety. Plus, we love his physicality. It’s Jenkins all the way.*

*This prediction is subject to change based on new developments, sobriety level, and latest tea leaf reading.

New Orleans Saints: What a Chick Wants, What a Chick Needs

Nola Chick — Wed, 11 Mar 2009 01:00:19 -0400

Since we didn’t get what we wanted for Christmas (a Saints playoff appearance), nor what we wanted for Valentines Day (a butt naked Reggie Bush/Marques Colston/Lance Moore/Pierre Thomas doing our laundry before making us breakfast), we figure with our collective birthdays coming up, third time’s a charm. And so, we hereby offer you the Chicks’ three wishes for the Saints this offseason.

#1: Safety

Let’s not play coy people; we all know the downfall of the Saints the past two seasons. Offenses ranging in skill set from mediocre to downright awful somehow managed to light up our secondary like a Christmas Tree. Hell, we even made that s.o.b. Kyle Orton look like Joe Montana on one very forgettable and frigid Thursday night in 2008. If the future of our secondary lies in the hands of Kevin Kaesviharn, Josh Bullocks, and Chris Reis, how’s about we just pack it in now and bring back the New Orleans Voodoo arena team?

#2: Outside Linebacker

We thankfully resigned Jon Vilma, but the Saints defense can still use some shoring up at the outside linebacker position.

#3: Corner

We’re hopeful this issue was addressed with the addition of Jabari Greer. Tracy Porter looked pretty good last season, before his injury. Since Mike McKenzie’s knees seem to already be measuring the analyst chair over at ESPN, we’ll need another reliable corner in the fold just in case. To put it bluntly, The Chicks yearn for the day when we don’t experience a near panic attack when the likes of Tyler Thigpen drops back for a “Hail Mary.”

#4(Yeah we know we said three wishes, but we WISH to do Four!): Get Deuce back.

In a perfect world, Deuce hangs around the free agent market for a while before the Saints, realizing they hold all the bargaining power, offer him a reduced but respectable contract. He agrees to resign, there are no hard feelings, and everyone goes out for pizza.

Hey, a chick can dream, right?

Wanna know what our enemies crave this offseason (other than a cooler city to have been born in)? Check it out on the NFL Outsider…

Charles Grant on the Deuce Diss: “That Made Me Sick”

Nola Chick — Tue, 10 Mar 2009 08:00:24 -0400

Interview enough NFL players and you come to anticipate certain answers. At some point you’ll hear, “I just go out there and give it 100 percent.”

Then there’s the old classic, “I just want to do my best for this organization.”

And every now and then they throw in a “no comment” for good measure.

But Charles Grant has seen the ugly side of the NFL. And once you’ve seen what he’s seen, politics takes a backseat to passion.

In a recent interview with chicksinthehuddle.com, the Saints defensive end talked about the upcoming fundraiser for his S.A.C.K. Success Foundation, his humble roots in Colquitt, GA, and, of course, football.

But it was an innocent question that I posed to the seven-year vet that seemed to open up a can of worms.

“What free agency move surprised you the most?“

“Deuce," he said. "That one shocked me. He’s been around that city for a long time. He’s one of those guys you look at as a role model. That made me sick.”

It’s no secret that Deuce McAllister and Grant go way back.

Charles was drafted to play with the Saints one season after Deuce. McAllister, the consummate big brother, took Charles and the other rookies under his wing. They’ve been “besties” ever since. Deuce even took part in Grant’s star studded “Boys Night Out” event in Atlanta last year.

“God puts great people in your path and he’s one of those great people that taught me all sorts of things," he said. "His brother died...my brother died...He’s one of those people that when things are going bad, I can always talk to him.”

So, just like many of us Saints' fans, Grant found the news of Deuce’s release hard to swallow. But contrary to what you’d expect from someone in his position, he had the guts to say it out loud.

“Just for your loyalty to the man, give him a pay cut," he said. "Give him a chance to come back from the injury, not somewhere else but in a city he loved to play in. People love him. I didn’t think that was fair. They don’t care about the sweat, the blood, the tears, all the moving around (you) do for an organization. They don’t care. He’d spent eight years in New Orleans.”

Got goose bumps yet, Saints' fans? Oh, don’t worry, it gets better.

You see, no matter what you think of Grant, you have to respect his honesty and his loyalty to his teammate. No canned sports answers: Not when it comes to someone he didn’t just work with, but cares about.

“In my seven-year career, I’ve seen 150-200 guys come and go," he said. "I played with the great ones: Joe Horn, Norman Hand, Darren Howard, Ashley Ambrose...I played with some great guys who told me how this business is and I didn’t believe it until they cut my man...I can’t control that.”

It seems that when Deuce got the boot, the other shoe dropped for this Saints' player, who hadn’t quite yet accepted the reality of life in the NFL. At the end of the day, it’s a business. Sure, the Saints' organization respects Deuce and players like him. But respect doesn’t pay the bills.

In the midst of all the drama, Grant says that he’s found peace this offseason by getting back into his two-a-day workout schedule down in Georgia.

There’s nothing better than a little T.L.C. and a home-cooked meal from mom in the quiet of the country. Charles is also looking ahead to next season and engaging in a familiar ritual with his teammates.

“Every Thursday night we have a d-line dinner," he said. "A different guy treats every week.”

So, what’s Grant’s restaurant of choice back in the big easy? A soul food restaurant on N. Derbigny.

“I love my girls at Two Sisters, baby!" he said. "I eat everything, man! I like my lil' wings, my lil' collard greens...whatever. I love good people, man.”

One thing Grant likely doesn’t look forward to is the tough talk from many Saints' fans who seem to have lost faith in him. Grant says while he gets some of the criticism leveled at the defense, he doesn’t believe all of it is merited.

“They pay season tickets to come and they support us," he said. "Some of them, though, some really don’t understand. I think some of them are negative for (no) reason.”

As much as this guy opened up, it almost seems hard to believe that he’s in the public eye. It was like talking to an old friend or the cool guy in the neighborhood who watches out for everyone.

But one more question remained.

How many games does Grant think the Saints will win next season?

“Nah...no predictions," he said. "I’m not predicting nothing.”

Ah, yes...the beloved “safe” NFL player answer. Now the interview is complete.

Charles In Charge: Saints DE Charles Grant's Mission To Help Others

Nola Chick — Mon, 09 Mar 2009 01:00:11 -0400

Watch an NFL player every week for eight years and you think you know him. But let me assure you of something, Saints fans: Regardless of how much we think we know about defensive end Charles Grant, we’ve barely scratched the surface.

Sure, he’s got a kick-ass sack celebration dance. And yes, he signed a fat, $63 million contract a few years ago. It’s also true he’s been entangled in his fair share of controversy, from a criminal indictment to an NFL investigation involving the use of a banned substance.

That’s what we’ve seen on TV and what we’ve read in the papers.

We think we know, but we have no idea.

To understand Grant and his mission, you must first understand his roots.

He is a country boy, tried and true. Despite his success and worldwide connections, he still drops the “g” at the end of his words, he loves to fill up on collard greens, and he thinks there’s nothing better than spending time in the country with his mama.

Growing up in a town like Colquitt, Ga., will do that to you.

"It's not very big. We've got a Hardy's and one red light," said Grant of his hometown.

Life in Colquitt may be slow, but for Charles Grant, it wasn’t always easy. At age seven, he witnessed the shooting death of his four-year-old brother. It happened with his brother sitting right next to him on the edge of a bed. It was a random act of violence that could have steered him toward the dark side.

Instead, this tragic experience motivates Grant to pour his heart and soul into saving the souls of the small-town and inner-city kids he encounters through his S.A.C.K. Success Foundation.

"I've been blessed like a lot of other guys to do it," said Grant. It's all about giving back to your community and showing the kids there's more than one way of making it in life than drugs nd gang banging."

The often “hard knock life” of a Colquitt kid forced Grant to grow up fast. He witnessed things some kids should never see and in some cases, things he didn’t truly understand.

"I never met my real father a day in my life," Grant explained. "My mama was on drugs...I had to see men beating my mom up. So, I tell the kids, "God's not gonna put nothing on you that you can't really handle". There's so many excuses I could have used. That's why I tell kids today, there's no excuse."

"No excuses"—it’s a motto that motivates Charles on and off the football field. But not in the cliché, Nike commercial kind of way.

It’s more like, “I can do anything because I’ve survived everything.”

After all, this is the same kid who, despite very humble beginnings, told his mother in eighth grade he’d grow up to be a millionaire.

Now that he’s got his millions, he’s doing his part to help fellow dreamers get a piece of the pie.

"I'm trying to feed at least a thousand homeless people in Atlanta," said Grant. A lot of cats run around saying, 'I got this, I got that', but if you've got it, give it back sometimes."

His non-profit organization hosts several annual community events and fundraisers in Colquitt, New Orleans, and Atlanta.

The money for most of the events comes out of Charles’s own pockets. But this year, he’s hoping to add to his sponsor list with the help of big-name celebrities.

"I have great sponsors for that weekend in Atlanta," says Grant. "I want people to support this worldwide, whether its athletes or rappers. I'm trying to get Mary J. Blige to do the grand finale for it."

He’s also got big plans for his fundraising event going on this summer in New Orleans.

"This year, I'm hoping to team up with DJ Manny Fresh," Grant said. "Me and hom are going to do something around Essence Festival. Our goal is to build a playground for a community in New Orleans."

But first things first. He’s got to take care of business at home. Charles is hosting his sixth-annual "Kids Day Out" event on March 14 in Colquitt.

The event attracts more than a thousand people, all hoping to catch a glimpse or maybe sneak in a picture with their hometown hero. The event, co-hosted by Grant’s mother, will include giveaways, activities, and one-on-one time with Charles and other NFL players.

It’s being held in memory of Grant’s late brother, Reneldo.

For more on how you can help Grant’s foundation, go to the S.A.C.K. Success website.

In part two of my interview with Charles Grant, he says something guaranteed to win over even the most critical Saints' fan. (It literally left me speechless.) Plus, he answers his critics and reveals how he’s recharging his batteries this offseason.

From Kim to Reggie, With Lust

Nola Chick — Fri, 06 Mar 2009 19:18:16 -0500

What do you get for the man who has everything?

Reggie Bush celebrated his 24th birthday earlier this week.

He celebrated with a big bash in Miami. But his skank-tank, media-hooch, lady friend Kim Kardashian couldn’t make the trip. So, she’s making up for it with the next best thing.

One of her trademark “ass gyrations” you ask?

Oh no, Kim got real original with this one.

In an interview with E! News, Kim revealed she’s getting Reggie (drumroll please)…a watch!

And you thought she was just a pretty face.

Here’s hoping Reggie gets the hint it’s “time” to dump her big butt!

Hello, Goodbye

Nola Chick — Thu, 05 Mar 2009 23:07:23 -0500

“Hello Heath.”
“Awww…but we like Mike.”
“T.O.? Hell no!”
“Lose Lance? Not a chance.”

Who needs reality TV drama when you can “get your popcorn ready” for the soap opera known as NFL free agency? Teams are signing and dumping players faster than AIG can request more bailout money! It’s magically delicious.

Down in the Big Easy, we Saints fans are pseudo-mourning the loss of another favorite. Fullback Mike Karney may not have been on anyone’s “top ten list” over his four-year career with the team, but he was a solid player who worked hard, blocked well, and occasionally pulled off the big play at just the right time. (Anybody remember that gasm-inducing performance he pulled off against the Cowboys two seasons ago? Oh yeah!) Not to mention he was often the main blocker for main man Deuce McAllister.

To replace Karney, the Saints signed former Patriots running back Heath Evans to a two year contract. The eight-year veteran has lined up as a tailback and tight end and he’s also played on special teams. He’s known as a tough guy who’s only been inactive three times in his career. And with Karney getting the boot, he’ll get to keep his old jersey number: 44.

Isn’t it ironic…don’t you think?

With the Saints making all these moves, one can’t help but wonder why they haven’t made the most obvious move…that being to resign Lance Moore. The restricted free agent likely isn’t getting any serious offers yet, but it’s only a matter of time. And since the Saints locked things up with Devery, it’s probably best they settle in with the guy who gave Drew Brees an easy target week after week. I know it’s too early to get nervous but this is the Saints we’re talking about.

One thing that will leave all of us sleeping easier, Sean Payton also pities the fool who picks up Terrell Owens. I had to laugh out loud when I heard the rumors (just hours after T.O. got cut from the Cowboys) that the Saints wanted a piece of that. But Sean Payton was quick to respond with a Whitney Houston-esque “oh hell to the no!” The Saints join what Yahoo Sports considers a long list of teams who want nothing to do with the All-Star, All-Psycho wide receiver. (Check it out here.)

We’re keeping a close eye on Owens’ ordeal. After all, just because you fans don’t like him doesn’t mean you’re not afraid to play against the crazy bastard. Meanwhile, we can’t help but wonder if this means Tony Romo will be forced to hop on the bandwagon and blame his mom-jeans wearing girlfriend Jessica Simpson for why he sucks next season.

We love this game.

Eight Simple Rules for Playing on My Team's Secondary

Nola Chick — Thu, 05 Mar 2009 00:42:59 -0500

Oh, hi, former Buffalo Bills cornerback Jabari Greer. Welcome to the New Orleans Saints’ defensive unit. I’m Nola Chick, the head chick in charge of Chicksinthehuddle.com, the unofficial “official” voice of female Saints fans.

I’m sure you’re well aware of our defensive problems...particularly in our secondary. As our new cornerback, all eyes will be on you and your $23 million contract. We have the utmost confidence you’ll earn every penny of it.

But in the event you lose sight of what’s expected of you, we decided to draft a few helpful guidelines.

1.) You’re only allowed one burn for a TD every six games.

2.) You get one unsportsmanlike conduct penalty per season

3.) You get one excessive celebration penalty every eight games.

4.) Every Tuesday during the season we post a column called “Hit it and Quit it.” It’s not advised you make a habit out of appearing on the “Quit It” list as things have a tendency to get ugly.

5.) You’re easy on the eyes. If you’ve got a nice body under all those layers, shirtless pictures are both appreciated and strongly advised.

6.) You must grant us at least one interview. It’s part of the hazing process.

7.) Serious injuries are forbidden within your first two years so it’s best you condition your tush off this offseason.

8.) If you do get burned, we implore you not to pat your chest and nod your head in the official “that’s on me” gesture. We know it’s on you. We were watching it. With that said, it’s also required that you don’t pull an Aaron Brooks and giggle while walking off the field after doing something bad.

Well, I think that about covers it. Welcome to the Big Easy!

2009 NFL Offseason Has Fans in Heartbreak Hotel

Nola Chick — Mon, 02 Mar 2009 00:17:40 -0500

Eagles' fans, we feel your pain. Sure, we hate you with a deeply-rooted and oft times blinding passion, but we both know what it feels like to never have won a Super Bowl and to always be on the bitch slap end of the cruel hand of football fate.

Oh...and we also know what it’s like to be heartbroken by one harsh reality: The NFL is a business.

When the Saints lost Deuce McAllister just a few weeks ago, grown men cried. (Oh, don’t play tough guy with us, mister. We KNOW you cried.)

The thought of not seeing our beloved DEEEEUUCCCEEE in a black and gold jersey made our stomachs turn. The thought of seeing him in some other team’s jersey made us want to stab something.

Now, Eagles' fans are getting a taste of the bitter pill that is NFL free agency with the release of their beloved Brian Dawkins.

It’s tough to swallow, ain’t it?

Eagles' fans are calling for the heads of the front office folks.

They’re waxing poetic on Dawkins' contributions over his 13-year career. They’re struggling to understand how this could happen or why it would happen. How could the Eagles let money get in the way of loyalty?

Shhh-shhh my pretties. Mama knows it hurts.

It’s not just fans living in Heartbreak Hotel. This offseason has been tough for players too.

The Patriots dealt QB Matt Cassel to the Chiefs like a frat boy passing around the drunk, easy chick to his roommates. “I’ll give you two beers for her. Nah, don’t worry about it. Just take her.”

Meanwhile, rumors of a possible QB trade have left poor Broncos' QB Jay Cutler feeling like a washed-up starter wife.

As for the ongoing Cardinals v. Kurt Warner saga, who knows whose feelings will end up crushed when the dust settles in the desert?

The one bright spot in all this? They’re keeping things interesting.

There’s even rumors on Rotoworld that the Chargers could lose their precious L.T. to guess who...the Saints. The mere thought of it, no matter how unlikely, probably has Chargers' fans reaching for a brown bag to breathe into.

These are strange days, my friends. Strange and painful days.

New Orleans Saints' Free Agency Update

Nola Chick — Sun, 01 Mar 2009 02:15:24 -0500

Our front office folks have been some busy little bees since the start of free agency. We’ve locked up some key players and started wooing players for some key positions.

Come this time next week, I could actually get out the words “The Saints are going to the Super Bowl” without a smirk, giggle, fake vomit noise or tear up at the thought of no Deuce McAllister. After the jump, we break down the free agency wheeling and dealing.

Who’s staying put:
Jon Vilma, Linebacker
Jon Stinchcomb, Right Tackle
Troy Evans, Linebacker

Who’s up in the air (and noteworthy):
Jahri Evans, Guard
Aaron Glenn, DB
Devery Henderson, WR
Terrence Holt, DB
Aaron Stecker, RB
Courtney Roby, WR
Lance Moore, WR
Joey Harrington, QB
Antwan Lake, DT

Who we’re courting:
Gerald Sensabaugh, Safety-Jaguars
Ron Bartell, Cornerback-Ron Bartell
Darren Sharper, Safety-Vikings

New Orleans Saints Free Agency: Love Them Or Leave Them

Nola Chick — Fri, 27 Feb 2009 00:33:42 -0500

The NFL’s version of “Speed Dating” is officially underway. A slew of free agents are on the market and there’s plenty of fresh meat up for grabs. But first, the Saints have got to decide whether to love the ones they’re with.

Love ‘Em

Jon Vilma, Linebacker: Vilma is among a handful of Saints we don’t want lurking around the free agency pool for more than a few hours. He was one of the best new additions to the Saints’ roster last season and now that his legal troubles are behind him, we predict nothing but good things from this defensive stud in the future.

Jahri Evans, Guard: Also up for grabs, but as a restricted free agent, is Jahri Evans. We’re thinking it’s a long shot any team would pay the $2.7 million tender or give up their first and third round draft picks for Evans.

Courtney Roby, Wide Receiver: He’s a speedy little whippersnapper, but he hasn’t really been given a chance to prove himself as an asset to the team. With that said, I wouldn’t mind keeping him around to see what he can do.

Troy Evans, Linebacker: He’s like the Bill Paxton of linebackers. Doesn’t really do anything to stand out, but doesn’t really offend either.

Leave 'Em

Martin Gramatica, Kicker: Do we really need a justification here? Didn’t think so.

Aaron Glenn, Cornerback: While it’s obvious we need some fresh legs at this position, we also need experience. But we need fresh legs that won’t get burned more than anything. So, buh-bye.

Josh Bullocks, Safety: We remember everything Josh and no, you don’t complete us. The Saints will do better filling this dude’s shoes with a rookie.

Wanna keep up with the free agency maneuvers as they happen? Click here to go to the NFL’s Free Agency Tracker.

The Young and the Restless: Part Two

Nola Chick — Tue, 24 Feb 2009 01:15:04 -0500

It’s not easy being a cornerback in the NFL. The touchdowns you stop hardly ever make the highlight reels. But the ones you get beat for are played over…and over…and over again. (Ain’t that right Jason David?)

Saints cornerback Usama Young never expected the pros to be easy street. It never is for a cornerback. And while he understands the criticism heaped atop his team like gumbo on rice, he finds much of it misguided.

In part two of my interview with the rising star of the Saints’ secondary, he explains why you’ve got to walk a mile in a cornerback’s cleats to know just how tough it is to do what they do. But we don’t just talk Xs and Os.

Usama also lets us know how he keeps things “breezy” in the Big Easy.

Nola Chick: When did it hit you that you were living your dream of playing in the NFL?

Usama Young: When I first reported to rookie camp in New Orleans. I’d gotten drafted, I’d gotten the call from the Saints and it still didn’t hit me because I hadn’t gotten on that field yet.

But once I got out there and started competing against some of the rookies and trying to learn the defense and going through the two-a-days, I was like dang, this is not gonna be easy. That’s when I think it hit me.

Nola Chick: Who are some of the defensive backs you look up to?

Usama Young: When I think of defensive backs in the past I think of Darrell Green. He had a long career and he played for the home team, so I always saw him on TV in Washington. To have 20 plus years at cornerback and play some of those guys in the league now is just (he sighs in admiration).

And of course, there’s Deion. He was a playmaker, a show-boater. Those were my favorites growing up.

NC: What about current players?

Usama: There’s Champ Bailey and Aaron Glenn, a 15 year all pro, still has game and great knowledge of the game. Mike Mckenzie, still balling and coming back from knee surgery. It’s crazy just looking at these guys and to see what they’re going through.

NC: When I interviewed Mike McKenzie, he mentioned you as a player to watch on the Saints defense. How does it feel to know that a veteran you admire respects your game?

Usama: You strive to get on their level and when you hear them say “he’s on his way”, that’s a good thing. Every time something comes to mind, I look to a veteran. I always ask questions no matter what the answer might be...I’m just constantly striving to get better.

NC: Being a cornerback is tough. Do you think people misunderstand how hard it is to do what you guys do?

Usama: People always say it’s one of the toughest jobs but at the same time we deal with some of the most scrutiny and some of the most criticism on the team. When a long touchdown is scored, you know you’re the only one by the ball and everyone’s going to look at you and say it’s your fault.

I just think that a lot of people don’t know how hard it is to go backwards against a guy going full speed ahead running at you. You’ve got to do it off of instinct and athletic ability.

NC: You’re entering your third year in the league. Do you feel like you’ve finally settled in?
Usama: The pressure increases because they want improvements and you want to improve. Each year they want you to get better you want to get better. The fans want you to get better. If a guy’s at the bottom of the statistics doing the same thing not improving, he’s a disappointment.

NC: What advice do you have for up and coming players who want to get into the pros one day?

Usama: I went back to my old school last week and saw some of the kids working out. I went up to them and told them I know what y’all are working for. I was in your position some years back.

Just keep on doing what you’re doing and all your hard work is going to pay off; maybe not in the NFL, but in the classroom.

NC: How do you like New Orleans?

Usama: I love New Orleans. New Orleans is a great place. There’s always something going on. If I choose to go party, I can.

NC: (Oooh, he said the “p-word! My kinda Saint!) So where do you go to let your hair down?

Usama: It just depends on who I’m taking out whether it’s family or friends.

NC: I’m talking “out out.”

Usama: Well let’s see, there’s Thursdays at the Republic, Sundays is the Metro, and Saturdays 360. Usually the spot to be is Bourbon St. and the French Quarter.
(Hmm…before I run the risk of sounding like a stalker, I opt for a subject change.)

NC: Alright, so what’s your prediction for next season.
Usama: I’m looking for playoffs...to the Super Bowl.

NC: Oh my!
Usama: I know u didn’t expect me to say 10-6, 9-7, 8-8.

NC: Nah, but just know that now that you’ve said it, we’re holding you to it.
Usama: Bet!

So there you have it folks. Confidence, intelligence, swagger, and skill…all wrapped in an adorable black and gold package. And while we loved his commercial with his dad, we’re hopeful his next Super Bowl appearance will be on the field and not in the commercial breaks.

(Oh, and we’re hoping he’ll be a Saint when that happens. Gotta be specific when you put stuff out there, you know?)

The Young and the Restless: Part 1

Nola Chick — Thu, 19 Feb 2009 00:23:42 -0500

When you grow up in a family of seven brothers, you quickly learn tough lessons like overcoming disappointment and dealing with “harsh critics.” Usama Young’s been getting the “Bobby Brady” treatment for as long as he can remember.

But it’s those early lessons that keep him well-grounded, positive, and downright enthusiastic about being a defensive back in one of the most criticized secondaries in the NFL. You see, it’s not that he doesn’t hear the crowd’s boos when the Saints’ defense gives up those big plays. He just knows how to turn every setback into a motivating force to help him step up his game.

Young joined the Saints back in 2007. His first time on the field was against one of the most high powered and high scoring offenses in the NFL, the Indianapolis Colts. Taking on Peyton Manning right out of the gate as a cornerback might sound about as fair as giving a dog trainer one of Michael Vick’s pit bulls his first day on the job. But for Usama Young, he couldn’t have scripted a better “welcome party” to the NFL.

“Even though we got beat, it was just wild to go back home and play in front of that crowd and my family. I mean, Peyton Manning’s one of the best quarterbacks of his day. Going out there and experiencing the NFL and seeing a sell out crowd in the RCA Dome…I was just up in the stands before the game looking around like 'I’m here.'”

Usama Young’s dreams of NFL success are the stuff of Hollywood. That point was proven when he was chosen to share his story in a commercial for the NFL during this year’s Super Bowl. In the commercial, Young recalled working as a vendor at the stadium where the Redskins played. As a teenager, he imagined himself one day playing on that very field as a professional athlete. His moment arrived in the 2008 season, when the Saints took on the Redskins at Fed-Ex Field.

“I had a lot of family in the crowd. Remembering how I used to be up in those stands selling cotton candy and lemonade, this was what I dreamed about doing. Finally getting to be there, it was such a blessing.”

Young relived his emotional moment in a commercial which co-starred his dad. His father, who lives in Washington, (his mother is in Indianapolis), gets much of the credit for getting Young and his brothers interested in sports. He got a chance to thank his father by flying him out to LA to create their big primetime moment.

“They had both of us fly out and we were staying in a nice hotel and had a driver the entire time. It was just great to be able to spoil him and get him out on the west coast . He’d never been to the west coast before. It was a fun time enjoying it with him.”

While pops gets props for keeping Usama on the move, it was his brothers that taught him the value of thick skin.

“When you’re young, you want to play with your older brothers and you want to get in the pickup games with them and you want to be picked first not last. (And he admits to getting picked last more often than not.) They definitely got me more competitive. I always try to win in everything now. We can be eating some food and I want to finish first. Well, maybe not that but you know what I’m mean.”

Getting picked last isn’t exactly something Usama has to worry about when he plays football with his brothers nowadays. You see these days, he’s busy proving himself to a much tougher crowd: his coaches, his fans, and the media. And it’s not an easy task when you play on a defensive team that’s consistently ranked among the bottom of the pack.

“You gotta take it like a grain of salt. You know that people are going to talk and choose sides but you’re out there for a reason. When you’re out there, you don’t want to think about the negative. Everytime I’m out on the field, I’m thinking I’m gonna make a play. I’m thinking about what I’m gonna do after I make a play. I try to stay away from the scrutiny and the criticism that the defense gets.”

This season, Young faces a new coach and a whole new set of challenges. The Saints tapped former Redskins defensive coordinator Gregg Williams to steer their beleaguered defense from worst to first. We know Williams will have his hands full. But so will Young and the other players who now have to learn an entirely new defensive scheme.

“You never want too much of a change…change is tough. Being that I just got comfortable with the other defense now we’re bringing in something new, it’s kind of tough for some people. I just want to jump right in and get it going now.”

So do we Usama…so do we.

Young does have a few choice words for those among us who can’t resist the urge to constantly knock the Saints’ secondary. In part two of my interview, hear what he says in defense of the defensive backs. Also, things get personal when I ask Usama how he lets his hair down in the Big Easy.

Stay tuned my fellow Who Dats…

Forget “Hugging It Out, Bitch”; Nola Chick Wants Revenge

Nola Chick — Wed, 10 Dec 2008 00:00:23 -0500

"Fool me once, shame on...shame on you. Fool me, I can't get fooled again."

Ah President Bush…your wise words are ringing in my ears this week. It’s mainly because your botched take on a popular saying makes me laugh so hard that I snort, but it’s also because the actual saying sums up my feelings about this Thursday’s NFL game.

If the Saints storm into Chicago, only to get their asses kicked again...shame on them. After all, “fool us, we can’t get fooled again.”

You see, Thursday isn’t so much about the Saints’ quest for the playoffs; it’s about the Bears’ playoff wishes. This Thursday, the Saints will hold the Bears’ playoff hopes in the palm of their hands. Vengeance shall be ours.

I yearn for vengeance like The Joker, or Max Payne, or Wile E. Coyote. Those Bad News Bears have spoiled our fun two seasons in a row. Third time would be a sham.

This is the week to make up for those tasteless Hurricane Katrina signs fans held up in the NFC Championship game or the embarrassing smack down they put on us in the final game of last season. Thursday, we’re serving up revenge Windy City style, ice cold.

So, what’s the plan of attack? It’s simple.

1. Start with a Chi-Town native named Pierre Thomas who has shown the ability to act a fool in front of his hometown crowd. Fire him up and let him loose.

2. Forbid Reggie Bush from taunting anyone at any point in the game...ever. No flipping in the end zone either. Threaten him with a three-month bj drought from his knob-slobbing sweetheart Kim Kardashian.

3. Protect the mutha f***ing football at all costs!! Protect it like a cat protects its tale in a room full of rocking chairs. Protect it like the Giants protect players who accidentally shoot themselves in the leg.

In the words of my high school Sex Ed teacher, “Protection just makes good sense.”

As for the other side of the ball, can the Saints’ secondary really live with themselves knowing they got scorched by a man who looks like this?

We both go into this game at 7-6, desperate to keep our playoff hopes alive. But the Saints have more on the line...and so do I! I bet on this sh*t damn it!

So my black and gold warriors, our moment has arrived. To quote our future president...

“This is our moment. This is our time. Our time to turn the page…”

At the end of the day Saints, if you still find yourselves lacking motivation to take them down, keep in mind that this is what they think of us…

A picture’s truly worth a thousand words...

Saints-Falcons: “Let Me See If You Can Run It”

Nola Chick — Mon, 08 Dec 2008 00:00:33 -0500

Pic Courtesy: Nola.com

Let’s be honest, whether we make the playoffs or not, beating the Falcons is always a good thing. I mean a REALLY good thing. I mean the kind of thing that makes you resist the urge to call in sick or cuss out the slow driver in front of you or drink until your liver starts to dissolve.

Nothing feels better than leaving a “Dirty Bird” with a broken wing. Now, let’s get down to business.

Pierre mutha f***in Thomas! (Yes, it’s true; having a running game is just as gratifying as passing the ball for 400+ yards.) P.T. Bruiser ran for 102 yards against the Falcons!!

That’s right, one Saint ran for over 100 yards!!! Anybody remember the last time a Saint player passed the triple digit mark in rushing yards? It was when Pierre Thomas rushed for over 100 yards against the Bears in the last game of 2007.

With Pierre acting a fool, Reggie Bush had opportunities to stretch his legs against the Falcons’ mediocre run defense. Reggie racked up 80 rushing yards, averaging eight yards a carry. For all you math whiz kids out there, that means he and Pierre combined for 182 total rushing yards.

That’s a season high folks. I’m not sure who gave our coaching staff the crazy idea to balance this offense, (see: nearly every fan and commentator, everywhere), but we chicks thank you for it!

Let me reiterate that I know the Falcons’ run defense is average at best, but that shouldn’t diminish the success we had running the ball. What made the difference this game is that we actually attempted to run the ball beyond the first drive. We committed to the run. Oh what a glorious day!

Defensively, we were able to do what the Falcons couldn’t: we stopped the run. I don’t know about you, but the thought of facing Michael Turner gave me a certified case of the bubble gut. Turner only managed a measly 61 yards against the Saints' D, a good chunk of which came off a 26 yard run.

On the flip side, Matt Ryan picked our asses apart. I mean damn! Beyond that Jason David interception, I felt like I was watching a much less adorable Drew Brees. Man that was painful to watch.

Thank goodness Atlanta Coach Michael Smith decided to punt the ball on the Falcons’ last possession as there’s a good chance Matt Ryan would have had enough time to drop back and pass the ball to himself 20 yards down the field for the first down. (Our Lady of Pass Rush, pray for us.)

Josh Bullocks really went out of the way to let his flop-flag fly. When he wasn’t blowing coverage, he was running into his own teammates. Can’t say Roman Harper looked much better. How I yearn for the day when our safeties actually make me feel safe when our D is on the field...

So what does all this mean in the big picture of life for us Saints fans? Well, you can think of it one of two ways. Either the dream is still alive or the torture continues. I’m feeling particularly gleeful since we battered the birds and my fantasy team is in the process of puttin’ the smack down, so I’m inclined to go with the former.

We’ve got a big game coming up against a team that’s slowly engraving itself on my list of sworn enemies, those bad news Bears. As my father would say, “We owe them an ass whipping.”

Then, it’s the trap game against Detroit. Then, I bring my gris gris to the 'Dome to seek vengeance against the Panthers for crimes I wish not to relive. And even if we do all that, we gotta hope upon hope that other teams do their part to choke late in the season.

So yeah, the playoffs are still a long shot. But damn it felt good to run dem Falcons over like the pigeons they are!

In other news…F*** you Nick Saban! (Cue evil laugh…) Oh, and to all the message board numb nuts calling for the Saints to get rid of Marques Colston, go sit on the pointy end of a fleur de lis you ignorant bastards!

Hmmm…am I forgetting someone? Oh yeah...I vote that from here on out we only pull out the challenge flags for, you know, plays worth challenging. It’s an idea that’s just crazy enough to work. Okay...now I’m done.

As always, the Chicks will be talking trash tonight at 6:30 CST. Feel free to join in, listen in, or crank call by pushing the Blog Talk Radio button.

A Memo To Larry Johnson: Beating Up Girls=Bad

Nola Chick — Tue, 21 Oct 2008 15:42:04 -0400

The notion that it’s cool for football players to ‘hit on” every girl they see seems pretty harmless. At least, it did until Larry Johnson apparently got the message confused. The Chiefs running back once again faces suspension for allegedly assaulting a woman. This time, police say Johnson spat his drink in a woman’s face and threatened to kill her boyfriend. Classy.

According to NFL.com…

“(Ashley Stewart) told police that Johnson’s bodyguards then tackled her and that bouncers from the club escorted her outside. Johnson tried to spit on her three more times while walking to his car after the club manager asked him to leave.”

This isn’t Johnson’s first run-in with the law over a domestic violence related issue. In fact, he’s got a reputation that would make the late Ike Turner stand up in his grave for one last 80s-style "slow clap."

In 2003, Johnson was charged with felony aggravated assault and misdemeanor domestic battery for waving a gun during an argument with a former girlfriend at his home. The charges were dropped when Johnson agreed to participate in a domestic violence diversion program.

In 2005, Johnson was accused of pushing a woman to the ground at a Kansas City bar. The charges were dropped when the woman failed to appear in court.
In February of this year, he was arrested for shoving the side of a woman’s face at a club. He could get up to six months in jail and a $500 fine if convicted.

If chivalry is dead, something tells me Larry Johnson beat it up during a night on the town.

Considering he’s never been convicted on any of the charges, you hate to call the guy a prick. So I won’t. Instead, I’ll call him a “suspected prick.” And to this “suspected prick”, I’ll say that even if the latter two of these accusations are proven to be true, you should get your ass kicked…right out of the league. I’m not talking the two game suspension or the $10,000 fine. I’m talking “bye-bye”…for the rest of the season.

Sounds harsh? Good. It should. How else can the league send a clear message that violence against women will not be tolerated in the NFL? It’s clear their methods in the past haven’t gone far enough.

Anyone remember back in 2003 when then Tampa Bay running back Michael Pittman was accused of deliberately ramming his Hummer into a Mercedes-Benz driven by his wife and carrying his two-year-old son. It was his third domestic violence related arrest and it earned him a three game suspension.

According to the St. Petersberg Times, Pittman’s wife told investigators she was subjected to 30 to 40 incidents of domestic violence that were not reported. Pittman remains in the league as a back for the Broncos.

What about former Indianapolis Colts Defensive back Mustafah Muhammad, who was convicted in 2000 of beating his pregnant wife with his stepson standing by? That beatdown was only enough to earn a two game suspension.

By the way, Steve Smith of the Panthers got the same punishment for getting into a scuffle with his teammate in preseason. (Hmmm…beat up a pregnant lady vs fisticuffs with a teammate…yeah, that’s the same.)

If Roger Goodell wants to stay true to his tough talk, I say he walks the walk when it matters most…when it’s not so cut and dry. If you can suspend Adam Jones for four games for a drunken bar fight with a bodyguard, you can put the smack down on Johnson who now faces his fourth assault charge in five years.

We can’t have hissy fits over the Michael Vick dog-fighting fiasco while turning a blind eye to violence against women. And since money talks, let me remind you that us ladies make up nearly half the NFL’s fan base. Piss us off…and good luck peddling those pink jerseys to the other 50 percent of your fans.

Cross published at www.chicksinthehuddle.com

The Kitty Litter Hits the Fans

Nola Chick — Sun, 19 Oct 2008 21:20:50 -0400

Here’s the bad news: The Saints just got their asses handed to them by the Panthers in a game that could have tied them for first in the NFC South. Here’s the worse news: The loss means I now have to to come up with 10 reason why I love the Panthers to make good on my bet with the Cat Crave blog...and I can’t be sarcastic or show even a one-tenth of my asshole-ish ways.

Here’s the worst news: Reggie Bush will be out for the next three to four weeks to undergo arthroscopic surgery on his left knee. That means we could face the Chargers, Chiefs, and Falcons without him. Hey, but at least they cut Steve Weatherford. That outta do it, huh? Ugh...

(To the person in possession of the Nola Chick voodoo doll, mission accomplished.)

What we witnessed today can be summed up quite simply: It was craptastic. It was a heaping, steaming pile of dog vomit, entangled with freshly dropped horse poop, and just a touch of week old homeless man urine.

What made it even more frustrating was that the Saints didn’t even bother to play with my emotions. No tense last seconds this time around. They went out of their way for three quarters to show us they were dead set on bending over and taking it. And take it they did. It was like 45 minutes of a prison movie.

It seems our offensive line hopped the plane to London sometime early Saturday, cause they definitely didn’t show up in Charlotte. Jammal Brown couldn’t hold his breath, much less a defender. Drew Brees seemed in a constant state of panic and with good reason, as the Panthers’ aggressive defensive line consistently managed to get penetration. (Hehe…penetration…)

Speaking of Drew Brees, on last week’s episode of Chicks Talking Trash, I noted how antsy it makes me when members of our team start getting the attention from the national media. It seems like whenever we get noticed for something, we start to suck at it.

That’s why all the talk of Drew Brees likely breaking Dan Marino’s record this season and being the best in the league made me so uncomfortable. Is what they’re saying true? Absolutely. I just don’t want to hear them saying it. We play so much better when we’re underestimated and flying under the radar. My man Drew didn’t look good today. Not even a little bit.

Wanna know what else makes me a genius? On Bleacher Report, I commented recently that the return of Marques Colston and Jeremy Shockey could be a mixed blessing, in that their return threatened to throw our offense off balance. Sometimes it sucks to be right.

Marques looked shaken and Shockey looked stirred. Together they created a deadly cocktail of missed first-down opportunities and fumbles. Perhaps it would have been wiser to ease them into the offensive scheme. Or, maybe they’re professional athletes and they should just suck it up. You be the judge.

Defensively, I had more pressure on prom night than what Jake Delhomme experienced in this game. He had time to do everything but hit up a Schwegmann’s and make groceries after the snap. What happened to our high salaried profile front four?

In the secondary, Mike McKenzie, whom I love dearly, seemed completely off. He missed tackles, got beat on pass plays, and was repeatedly taken advantage of by Steve Smith and company. Had he and Drew Brees taken a bite of the same poison pill? If so, can they share it with me?

The one thing we seemed to being doing well, is the one thing we also seemed to abandon: running the ball. We want Deuce on the that wall. We need Deuce on that wall. Of course, there’s a good chance that even had we used Deuce effectively, the refs would have spotted the ball five yards from where he actually put it, but I digress. The one positive (I guess) is that with Reggie out, we’ll be forced to better integrate No. 26 into the offense.

Folks, I’m spent. I could go on and on about today’s debacle, but I just don’t have the strength. Saints fans deserve more than this team’s inconsistency. I’m flying 3,500 miles to watch this team play on Sunday, and all I know is they better get their shit together by then. I refuse to sit in a cold, dense, London fog, drunk on Guinness, sitting next to some chip-toothed Brit, only to witness a replay of today’s abysmal showing.

For all those interested in venting, join the Chicks Talking Trashing on Blog Talk Radio. I’ll also need ideas on what to write for this wretched “top 10″…other than “#No. 10, Go f*ck yourself.” Join us by calling (718) 305-6491 Monday night at 7:30 PM Central—8:30 PM Eastern.