Bleacher Report - Articles by Ed Bloomingdale

Sports Your Mother Should Know | Beijing Makes For Great Dinner Conversation

Ed Bloomingdale — Wed, 20 Aug 2008 10:55:18 -0400

Hello and welcome to Bleacher Report's newest feature (until someone else reads Ryan Alberti's themed columns and comes up with something five minutes from now)!

My newfound Bleacher Report best friend Justin Swiderski and I were chatting recently about what makes a story big news, and we both realized we know the very instant a headline is huge: when our mothers know about it.

So we decided to buddy-up on a new column, Sports Your Mother Should Know, to bring you the sports news and topics you should be discussing with your mom each week.

The column could serve several purposes—the truly sports-deprived mother could read and find new ways to engage her highly sports knowledgeable significant other.

Or, for those of us too in-depth with our sports news, it presents the opportunity to take a step back and view things in the big pictre, the way our moms might, giving us the opportunity for some good old mother-son (or husband, our daughter, or dog...) bonding.

And what better time to kick off a column for our moms than during the summer Olympics, something nearly every non-comatose mother in the world has probably heard of.

As for those Beijing storylines that mom may have heard, or could be capable of discussing:

Surely mom would be interested in the main headline-grabber at these Beijing games, Michael Phelps. The 23-year-old superswimmer has dominated NBC's primetime coverage, and deservedly so, as he romped to a record eight gold medals.

Mom might love that he's young and completely ripped, wearing those special Speedo pants low to show off every muscle in his 18-pack. She'd probably also be endeared by Phelps' unorthodox interviews, where he sounds like he's still gurgling water or maybe is mildly retarded (mothers go weak in the knees for stuff like that).

The most appealing thing for your mother, though, would probably be the heartwarming shots of Phelps' own mother in the stands for each of his races, shouting and crying and cheering as her son became a legend. One camera even caught Phelps asking producers if they could find his mom in the crowd while he was on the medal stand.

Aww!

If your mom isn't the gushy type and prefers hardcore controversy to emotionally dripping stories of triumph, then perhaps you'd best steer her toward gymnastics, which have been seemingly the second-most prevalent among NBC's primetime offerings.

Maybe mom would love to talk about the supposedly underage Chinese gymnasts. If this comes up, be sure to espouse all the values about not cheating and playing by the rules that she taught you. This could segue perfectly into discussion about the Chinese gymnast who landed her vault on her knees and still beat American Alicia Sacramone for Bronze.

Mom has probably also heard the name Shawn Johnson dropped around a few times, so she might want clarified that Johnson is a female gymnast, despite what her muscular body and name suggest. Mom might also be confused about Nastia Liukin, who is beating Johnson while competing for America, not Russia.

If mom wasn't confused, though, then that could be a deep topic for the two of you to delve into, watching these two amazing gymnasts compete against each other while NBC runs a medal count based on countries simultaneously. Maybe mom has an opinion on just who the Olympics are about, individuals or internationals.

If mom's just joining the Olympic coverage, though, then maybe she's more focused on Usain Bolt, who's set two world records in track and field while winning two gold medals.

If your mom is like mine, she might enjoy taking Bolt's name into consideration for the best of the Olympics (a sprinter with a lightning name? too perfect), right up there with Canadian gymnast Karen Cockburn. Topic for debate: Do medals count in greatest name competitions (Bolt has two golds, Cockburn one silver)? And what has more weight, apropos or humor? You and mom could go on for hours.

Think about it, Bleacher Creatures: Your mother has cooked for you during bowl season, cleaned up after your fantasy drafts and Super Bowl parties, produced your sports-loving self from her own body—the least you could do is see what she knows about the Olympics.

C.C. Sabathia Trade Makes Milwaukee Brewers a "Heavyweight"

Ed Bloomingdale — Mon, 07 Jul 2008 06:58:18 -0400

As the Milwaukee Brewers prepared on Monday to announce a trade with the Cleveland Indians that would bring ace pitcher CC Sabathia to Miller Park, the ground of the National League shook, presumably with anticipation and fear.

The anxiety wasn't because Milwaukee now has two front-end starters in Sabathia and Ben Sheets and could now be poised to make a run at the Chicago Cubs for the league and NL Central's best record.

No, the ground shaking stemmed from a different pairing that Milwaukee has lined up: Combining Sabathia and first baseman Prince Fielder, to make possibly the fattest pair of teammates in history.

Sabathia, listed at 290 lbs., is easily the biggest pitcher in the bigs, and Fielder, though perhaps still smaller than his father Cecil, is possibly the only person to ever gain weight by becoming a vegetarian, listed generously this year at 270 lbs.

Experts and pundits on the matter might argue for the 1997 Red Sox as the best pairing of fat ballplayers.

That team trotted out Mo Vaughn (275 lbs.), who later was forced to retire by his weight issues and the problems it caused for his knees and back, along with El Guapo, Rich Garces, who has possibly the friendliest weight listing of all-time for a pitcher who pushed three bills, at 250 lbs.

While the '97 Bo Sox made Fenway Park rumble with their weight, the combined listed figures of Vaughn and Garces leave them 35 lbs lighter than the new look Brewers, making Fielder and Sabathia the new heavyweight champions of Major League Baseball.

Could it have happened in a better place than Milwaukee?

NBA Draft: No Gay-Love for Memphis Grizzlies

Ed Bloomingdale — Fri, 27 Jun 2008 05:19:05 -0400

NBA fans may never know what they're missing out on. Shortly after he was drafted fifth overall by the Memphis Grizzlies, Kevin Love was traded to the Minnesota Timberwolves, forever depriving us of the greatest name pairing of all time with Grizzlies guard Rudy Gay.

That's right, we may never see the Gay-Love era in the NBA.

I, for one, cannot be convinced that this move was anything less than a direct order from Memphis' P.R. people.

Look at the trade: It's basically O.J. Mayo (whom the Wolves drafted two spots ahead of the former UCLA star) for Love, along with a bunch of scrubs and expiring contracts.

You're going to tell me Minnesota just didn't feel like acquiring Love until they could get Brian Cardinal thrown in there? Or that Memphis really wanted another athletic swing guard, when they already have Gay?

No, this move was fueled by something more powerful than creating a good team or showing off the GM skills of Kevin McHale and Chris Wallace (although maybe it did just that). Indeed, this trade was created purely by something that already runs rampant in this country:

The fear of Gay-Love.

Detroit Tigers: Are They The New Yankees?

Ed Bloomingdale — Fri, 27 Jun 2008 02:15:35 -0400

This is poor timing for a column, since the Tigers and Yankees have both gained a little steam lately, but the Tigers poor start to this year has had me wondering:

After their shocking 2006 success, have the Tigers just decided to Yankee-fy themselves?

Think about it: That 2006 team did have a few big names in Magglio Ordonez and Pudge Rodriguez, but was otherwise made up of young guys and vets who had stunning breakout years.

That World Series never happens if role-playing guys like Brandon Inge, Marcus Thames, and Craig Monroe never step up and become reliable players or even overacheivers.

Heck, they probably wouldn't have even made the playoffs without the incredible start Chris Shelton led them to, before he returned to being the real Chris Shelton.

They also don't make it if consistent semi-stars like Carlos Guillen, Placido Polanco, and Jeremy Bonderman don't have career years.

Throw in a huge surge of key rookies—Justin Verlander, Curtis Granderson, Joel Zumaya—and you had a perfect mix of guys for a shockingly good season.

But after that, Dave Dombrowski, for as much credit as I give him for that team, seemed to over-commit to winning, and got very enthusiastic with his acquisitions and his payroll.

It started small, with the Tigs adding Gary Sheffield, whom most fans approved of since the consensus was that they were one good power bat away from being champions in 2006. It seemed like a good move at the time.

It was, however, the beginning of the Tigers turning into the AL Central's Bronx Bombers. Sheffield was symbolic also, a guy who didn't seem to fit into the Tigers' bench culture, was an accused former steroid user and jerk, and literally just left the Yankees. This guy was a sign.

2007 ended without another playoff run from the Tigers, for various reasons, but the season was less important than what it led to. Dombrowski continued to go all Steinbrenner on us, doing the key things that experts like Buster Olney (and even Yanks GM Brian Cashman) will tell you led to the Yankees downfall.

Dombrowski, like King George of New York before him, started craving big names and sending away young talent to get them.

Detroit sold the farm this past offseason (literally, the farm system) to acquire big names in Edgar Renteria, Miguel Cabrera, and Dontrelle Willis. They sent away future studs like Cameron Maybin, Andrew Miller, and Jair Jurrjens, and pushed the role players that took them to the World Series onto the bench or out of position.

Crowd favorite Brandon Inge? He's sitting or catching, instead of playing his preferred third base, where he's a defensive revelation. Marcus Thames, he of the mighty power bat? Platooning occasionally in the outfield, where Detroit seemed until recently to prefer another acquisition, Jacque Jones.

And the new guys? Willis is down in A-ball, not even pitching. Renteria is hitting .265 with five home runs. Sheffield is hot coming back from a DL stint, but still hitting .235. And the biggest name, Cabrera, is hitting .273 with 11 home runs.

The Tigers' lineup looks like a new Murderer's Row on paper, but they're still in third place in the AL Central.

Sending away young talent (especially pitching) for big names who consequently struggle? Sounds a lot like the Yankees to me.

However, the observant fan will note that the Tigers (and their Bronx counterparts) are surging as of late, and that the Yankees, though they may be title-less since 2000, have still made the playoffs each year. I hope this is an upside to Detroit's New York makeover, that they'll somehow find a way to, like the Yankees, recover in time for October.

But if the goal is to spend millions more each year just to fail to win it all, then I'd rather have back the lovable pre-2006 Tiger teams, the ones who sucked, but always had good seats available.