Bleacher Report - Articles by Robert Johnson

The Origin of NFL Stories

Robert Johnson — Wed, 20 Aug 2008 05:24:24 -0400

Thunder crashes as the bolt of lightning tears across the night sky over ESPN's headquarters. Somewhere, deep in the recesses of the building, the glow from a single, 60-watt lightbulb peers into the darkness through the stacks of cardboard boxes. Little more than a wire with a light-socket at the end, the bulb sways gently over the crowd of sports-jacketed ESPN broadcasters.

Their voices combine to form a din of incomprehensible noise as they wave fists of money in the air. Crowded around a single box, atop of which sits a live monkey, they yell out their bets.

“No way he does it three weeks in a row,” comes a voice from the crowd.

A man steps forward from the crowd of producers and sportswriters, his arms raised in the air.

“Quiet everybody, we’re ready to begin,” he says.

A hush falls over the crowd as they all focus on the monkey. A single dart is placed in the monkey’s hand, and the crowd recedes into a semicircle, revealing a dartboard at the far end of the room.

The dartboard is covered in different colored pieces of paper, closely resembling a pie chart.

The distinctive “whoop” of Chris Berman signals that they are ready to begin. Almost instinctively, the monkey whips the dart toward the board.

The groans of disappointment fill the air almost simultaneously with the thud of the dart.

The dart has struck the large green-and-white piece, and even though the shadow of the dart partially covers the name written on the it, they all know it says “Favre.”

“Tonight on SportsCenter, Brett Favre; we take yet another in-depth look at what brought him to New York...in case you missed it.”

Up in the control booth, a camera tech leans back to a producer and asks, “Shouldn’t we talk about something else in the NFL? I mean, people gotta be sick of hearing about Favre by now, right?”

The sound of gunfire is muffled to those outside by the soundproof glass of the control booth. The camera tech slumps from his chair onto the floor.

“Never question the monkey,” the producer mutters as he returns the gun to his holster.

Meanwhile, in Washington DC, Jason La Canfora is rolling around on the floor under the desk in his office. His hands cupped to his ears as he writhes with an agony-filled grimace on his face.

“Dan Snyder isn’t doing anything!” he seems to yell to no one in particular. “Shut-up!”

The voices that have haunted him for this entire offseason have reached a crescendo. They demand recognition. Like a thousand people whispering into his ears, he hears them all, but can’t hear any one of them.

They whisper evil things about Dan Snyder. “Snyder wants Favre. Snyder hates the fans. Snyder wants to trade away all of his draft picks for the next 10 years for Bill Cowher. Snyder killed Jack Kent Cooke.”

“Stop it, stop it, stop it!” he screams.

He hasn’t slept in weeks; the voices are carrying over into all facets his personal life. Last night, when he went to the refrigerator, the voices chanted, “Snyder wants bacon for two first-round picks,” and “Cerrato wants peanut butter and mayonnaise sandwiches.”

“Gross!” he declared out loud.

Before he knew it, he was sitting at his computer. He looked up at the screen and realized he had typed, “Sources close to the Redskins indicate Cerrato has no taste in sandwiches.”

Highlighting what he had written, he pressed delete and quickly turned off his computer.

Now in his office, the voices had risen to a level impossible to ignore. The phone call he had received from the editor reminding him of his deadline hadn’t helped matters.

“Snyder wants you to kill for a first-rounder in ’09 and a third in 2010.”

“That’s not enough, Snyder’s an idiot!” La Canfora screams.

A passing janitor stopped at the office door when he heard the scream.

“What’s not enough, Mr. La Canfora?” he asked.

“Snyder’s offering a first-round draft pick and a third-round pick from 2010...” La Canfora caught himself before he could finish. He sat upright, still on the floor, his mind quickly pouring through every big-name player he could think of.

“For what?” the janitor asked.

“For Tony Romo!” he blurted out.

“Tony Romo?! Wow, hey, you know, I think I did hear something about that.” The janitor said, not wanting to sound like he was out of the loop.

“Really?” La Canfora asked, gathering himself up off the floor and sitting in his chair. He rolled up to his computer and began to type, “Sources close to the Redskins' organization have confirmed...”

He looked over towards the janitor and waved him into a chair across from his desk.

“Tell me all about it.”

Washington Redskins' 2008 Schedule Breakdown

Robert Johnson — Wed, 30 Jul 2008 04:40:42 -0400

I’ve heard some groaning about how difficult the schedule is for the Washington Redskins this year. Certainly, the premise of having to face all three division rivals on the road within the first five weeks is not pleasant, but that doesn’t make it insurmountable.

I have looked at the Redskins' schedule, and to be honest, their three division opponents seem to be the toughest opponents on their schedule.

Of the remaining 10 non-divisional opponents, the only ones that concern me are Pittsburgh and Seattle.

So, if we consider that the Redskins get swept by all three divisional opponents, and lose to Pittsburgh and Seattle, that leaves the team a potential 8-8.

The remaining eight teams on their schedule are:

New Orleans Saints

This team seemed to have found the missing piece of their puzzle two years ago, when they drafted Reggie Bush, but last year they returned to form as they faced tougher opponents and finished with a 7-9 record. I don’t expect that they will be much better this year.

Arizona Cardinals

The Redskins managed to squeak out a victory versus the Cardinals last year with a last-minute field goal, but many fans (including myself) believe that the only reason this game was even close was due to conservative play-calling that allowed Arizona back into the game.

The Cardinals managed to finish 8-8 last year, but some of the credit for that would certainly be the fact that they play in the weakest division in the NFC.

St. Louis Rams

Were it not for Miami’s 1-15 season, the Rams would have finished dead last in the league last year. As it is, they did manage to finish last in the weakest division in the NFC. They have welcomed back Al Saunders as their offensive coordinator, but I seriously doubt he will improve them much this year.

Cleveland Browns

Cleveland surprised a lot of people with what appeared to be a high-powered offense, but also gave up a lot of points last year on defense. They managed to put together a respectable 10-6 record, even though one of their six losses came at the hands of the 4-12 Raiders. I think they will struggle this year, as they face some serious NFC East competition.

Detroit Lions

Detroit came out swinging last year, looking better than they have in a long time, but had absolutely no luck versus the Redskins last year, as they were decimated 34-3 in Week Five. I don’t anticipate them to give the Redskins much more trouble this year.

Baltimore Ravens

The team across the Beltway also has a new coach this year, but that coach has inherited a 5-11 team. It’s too early to tell if this coach will make a difference, but I think he may need a year or two to improve his personnel.

Cincinnati Bengals

The Bengals are an example of what happens when you try to put an "I" in "TEAM". Far too many off-field distractions and arrests, and trade demands to be a cohesive unit. By the time the Redskins face them, their fate should be decided, and most likely they will only be playing for respect having been eliminated from the playoffs already.

San Francisco 49ers

The only way I see the Redskins losing this game is if they have locked up a playoff berth and are resting their starters.

Now, the Redskins do have the random factor of a rookie head coach. This could both help them (as he has no previous game film for opponents to study to prepare for his team) and hurt them (as he may make some mistakes as rookies often do).

Even though the Redskins should win at least eight games, there are no guarantees. This swings both ways, as you can’t necessarily assume that the Redskins will lose to all three division opponents twice, and that even though Pittsburgh and Seattle might be tough opponents, there is no certainty that they will lose those games either.

I like Jim Zorn, and I think he will make a fine head coach, but I also believe he will suffer some growing pains. Even the great Joe Gibbs went 0-5 in his first year as a first-time head coach. Trust me, I want him to win, and win often, but I also want to be fair, and expecting Zorn to come out all-guns-blazing in his first year, and his first time as head coach, might be expecting just a little too much.

I predict that the Redskins will go 9-7, as Zorn will probably lose some games he should have won early, but will win some games he’s expected to lose late in the season. I don’t think they will make the playoffs, as the entire NFC East is facing similar competition.

I do believe that the Super Bowl will host yet another NFC East team this year. I just hope it’s not Dallas.

Go ‘Skins!

Redskins: Racism or Easy Target?

Robert Johnson — Tue, 15 Jul 2008 07:23:25 -0400

Our story begins nearly 20 years ago. During the early '90s a new fad was born. The phrase “Politically Correct” entered the lexicon and brought us the suffix “-American.” Blacks, Hispanics, and Asians became “African-Americans, Spanish-Americans, and Asian-Americans.”

Everything was bubblegum, sunshine, and puppies until someone said, “what about the Indians?”

That proved to be an interesting question. The indigenous people of North America were misidentified as Indians hundreds of years ago and the name stuck. Now we had people here who really were from India, along with people who had been here the whole time.

A distinction had to be made other than “dot or feather.”

The term “Native American” was born.

As with all fads, it didn’t take long for the “P.C.” craze to go to excess as everyone started getting more and more technical about who they were and how they should be described.

The “Native Americans” began to find other places where they felt slighted: sports teams.

Suddenly terms like “Chief, Brave, Tomahawk, tribe and Indian” were all offensive labels given to them by the pale-faces. So it came as no surprise when the Washington Redskins found themselves under attack.

A small group of formerly-known-as-Indians decided to tackle the Redskins head on. Unfortunately, they couldn’t sue the team directly, since the team wasn’t directly referring to the plaintiffs as Redskins, but in fact were calling themselves Redskins.

You have to wonder if the word “sue” is really a derivation of “Sioux” as the former-Indians figured out they could contest the team’s trademark.

Fifteen years, and three court cases later, the Washington Redskins have come out on top. The courts never reached the argument stage as two of the three cases were dismissed on technicalities.

But what if they had?

The first issue would be the same issue that prevented the plaintiffs from filing in civil court; the team in Washington was referring to themselves as Redskins.

It would take a stretch to imagine that the team was intentionally attempting to insult someone else by calling themselves something offensive. There is also room for dispute as to the origin of the term “redskin.” Most believe it is a simple reference to the skin pigmentation of the indigenous people of North America.

Referring to persons in a descriptive term such as “red-skinned” is no more or less racist than saying “Native-American.” Women are often referred to by the description of their hair color (commonly blond, brunette, or redhead), but for some reason, mentioning a naturally occurring skin color is somehow pejorative.

That doesn’t make sense.

Most people simply assume that if skin color is involved, it’s automatically racist. Most of those same people don’t have a problem with a group that calls itself the National Association for the Advancement of Colored People.

I would be willing to bet that many of the people who sympathize with Suzan Harjo (the lady who spearheaded all of this nonsense) don’t even realize the hypocrisy that is Suzan Harjo.

At one time, Mrs. Harjo was the producer of a bi-weekly “Native American” radio show called “Seeing Red.” This was obviously a clever turn of the phrase referring to the skin color of her target audience.

As a Redskins fan, I can tell you that I don’t use the term in a derogatory way. I don’t conjure up negative images of “Native Americans” when I think about my team; I picture proud warriors who would fight to the last.

The Redskins’ emblem is not some cheesy cartoonist’s rendition of some toothless-savage, he is stoic and proud. He doesn’t have some silly goofball name like Chief Cheapseats, he is unnamed.

Now I might understand if the team were called the Washington Savages while using the same logo. I could certainly see how that would be taken as offensive, but “Redskin” is closer to being a descriptive term than a slanderous insult.

To show you that I can be a Devil’s Advocate, I would fully support the Green Bay Packers changing their team name to the Wisconsin Whiteskins (I like the ring to it).

I wouldn’t root for them, since I am a die-hard Redskins fan, and you would certainly find me cheering for the Redskins over the Whiteskins. Call me a race-traitor if you like, but the Redskins are my team.

I think it’d be great. They could have a picture of Brett Favre on their helmets in the same pose as the Redskins’ logo, and I certainly wouldn’t be offended. The irony is that the Packers were originally named for the Indian packing company!

The bottom line is that Mrs. Harjo needs to get over herself. That’s really what this whole issue is about.

It has nothing to do with racism, or her seeing graphic visual images of recently scalped men, women, and children whenever she thinks about the Redskins. It’s about her being relevant.

Without this case she doesn’t sell books, or make appearances on Oprah and Larry King. Without this case she might just have to get a real job.

…and that would be offensive.

Redskins Offense: Room for Improvement

Robert Johnson — Thu, 10 Jul 2008 07:35:10 -0400

If the final four regular-season games of 2007 showed us anything, it's that the Redskins had the talent on offense to be a Super Bowl contender. So if the team could beat the playoff-bound Cowboys and the eventual Super Bowl champion Giants to get a wild-card berth, why did they only finish the season 9-7?

Offensive philosophy—the great Vince Lombardi once postulated that if you can carry a 28-point lead into the fourth quarter, you have won the game. So far he has never been proved wrong.

So, unless you’re ahead by 28 points in the fourth quarter, you should try to score every time you have the ball. Now I don’t mean go for it on fourth down when you’re up 35 points, but last year's team seemed to lay off after it was only up by 14 at halftime.

Two words: Chris Cooley—Now I know you can’t always throw the ball to Cooley, but that doesn’t mean you shouldn’t throw to him at all.

He seemed noticeably absent last year, even though his stats don’t support that. What his stats do support is that he averages over 10 yards per reception, and anybody who has watched him knows that he typically earns those yards by being tough to bring down.

It’s a rare thing for Cooley to drop a pass that hits him in the hands, and even more rare that he’s tackled by the first player who hits him.

K.I.S.S.—I don’t mean "Detroit: Rock City," I mean "Keep It Simple Stupid."

The Redskins’ offense tried to confuse defenses with too much pre-snap motion, which typically only seemed to confuse themselves. I understand what they were trying to do, but it didn’t seem to work.

What it did seem to do (very well) was burn up all of the play-clock, and result in a lot of "false start" and "delay of game" penalties. The offense should snap out of the huddle, get to the line, give the QB time to look at the defense (and change the play if necessary), and snap the ball.

The faster they get to the line and get the play off, the less time the defense has to figure out what they are going to do next.

Have a Sense of Urgency—The Redskins seemed to be at their best last year when they were in the "no-huddle" offense.

There were two reasons for this. Firstly, they got the defenses on their heels. Secondly, Jason Campbell was able to be creative with the play-calling. Now I’m not saying they should go "no-huddle" all the time, as going "no-huddle" just as easily can produce the quickest three-and-out drive as it can a scoring drive.

What I am saying is that the team should use some of that magic by getting to the line quickly and allowing Campbell the creative freedom to change the play.

A Show of Hands—Jason Campbell had an above 60 percent completion percentage last year, but it’s hard to believe it was that high. I don’t know about anybody else, but there were times where it seemed like nobody wanted the ball.

Every coach will tell you, if the ball hits the receiver in the hands, than the QB did his part. I can’t remember how many passes I saw bounce off of or slide through the hands of a wide open receiver last year.

Even the usually sure-handed Santana Moss had his share of blooper-reel near-catches. Granted, some of the blame goes to the fact that both Moss and Randle-El were playing through the pain of strained hamstrings.

Strength and Conditioning—The Achilles’ Heel of last years’ team was actually more of an Achilles’ hamstring. So many muscle pulls, strains, and sprains it was unreal.

Many of these injuries were non-contact related. It seemed like everyone on the team was coming up gimpy after a play. You can’t always blame a strain on the strength and conditioning coaches, but when most of the team starts coming up lame, that’s a sure sign of poor conditioning and inadequate stretching and warm-up before games.

Your move, Dirtbag—Where do I start with the troubles on the offensive line?

Should I go for something simple like Pete Kendall’s knee bothering him so bad that he wasn’t able to practice during the week, or more complex like Randy Thomas’ torn tricep or Jon Jansen’s broken ankle?

Either way, the O-line was in rough shape last year.

That being said, what was left pulled together pretty well, even if it did take several weeks. The Redskins are playing it kind of risky this year as they haven’t really done much different with their O-line, but if they can keep Jansen and Thomas healthy through the year the front-five ain’t so bad.

All in all, the Redskins have all the players they need on offense, but getting it done is going to fall to the coaches and training staff. I don’t think the Redskins are playoff bound this year, but I certainly believe they are a team that shouldn’t be over-looked.

Next up: Defense

Capitals Play a Different Kind of "Dump and Chase"

Robert Johnson — Wed, 02 Jul 2008 09:52:44 -0400

Did you ever break up with a girl, because someone else you were interested in was single? Did you chase that other girl who was now single only to be told “I’m not ready for a relationship right now” and then see her on a date with someone else less than a week after she shot you down? Now the girl you dumped has rebounded nicely into a new relationship and won’t return your phone calls and you are sitting at home alone.

That’s what the goaltending situation feels like in Washington.

Olaf Kolzig was an institution in Washington when the Capitals picked up Cristobal Huet. The net practically had Olie’s name on it. We had a chance to pick up Huet for cheap and he shared the net (Olie’s net) with Godzilla, the fan favorite.

Huet made some spectacular saves and everyone saw a net-minder controversy brewing. Olie kept quiet and did his job, even though he saw the writing on the wall. Huet was in, he would soon be out.

The Caps had been drafting goaltenders every year for the past five years. It was only a matter of time before they either relegated his 38-year-old frame to the bench or the waiver-wire, and Huet was going to accelerate that process. He was just a little bit better, and a little bit younger, but every bit the threat to Olie’s job security.

When the net sharing stopped just short of the playoffs, and Olie didn’t get so much as a look in any of the playoff games, the final straw had been laid and the camel would never be the same…Olie was done.

He cleaned out his locker of 17 years, put his house up on the market, and was ready to go wherever the market took him. The Capitals were sad to see him go in such an undignified manner, but they were eager to sign Huet.

The problems with the Huet negotiations seemed to start early in the offseason when Huet’s agent described the talks as “productive and well-intentioned.”

The negotiations stalled as Huet’s agent stated they wanted to wait and see what free-agency had to offer.

Even though the Caps supposedly met Huet’s offer, he jumped ship for Chicago on the first day of free-agency\ and Kolzig is on his way to Tampa Bay.

Kolzig going to Tampa Bay is the equivalent of your ex hooking-up with that jerk next door. Not only are you not together anymore, but now you have to see them all the time. It’s insult to injury, but you brought it on yourself.

So here we are, sitting on the couch, wondering how we could’ve been so stupid and imagining what kind of freak we’re going to have to take to prom (please bear with me, I just got married and have been watching a lot of romantic comedies lately).

The Capitals did manage to find a date…err…goalie in Jose Theodore. The overall feeling that I get is kind of mixed on him; He’s not spectacular, but he’s got talent. Many seem to feel that his best years are behind him, though he put up some impressive numbers last year.

I guess we’ll have to wait and see if he goes all the way.

The Redskins are Better-Off Losing Some Consistency

Robert Johnson — Tue, 01 Jul 2008 06:04:03 -0400

Many fans out there are bemoaning the “loss of consistency” due to the firing of Gregg Williams and Al Saunders and the hiring of Jim Zorn.

I am not one of those fans.

The biggest reason, as far as I can tell, stems from a sound-bite of Dan Snyder saying “If it ain’t broke, don’t fix it.”

Firstly, he was not talking about the coaching, he was referring to the “need” for a GM, in response to a reporter’s direct question. I’m not going to get into that issue here, because what I’m referring to is our supposed lack of consistency. Not having a GM in 2007, and not getting one for 2008 would be the definition of consistency…regardless of whether you think it’s the right decision.

Secondly, losing Joe Gibbs to retirement was the biggest blow to consistency. Even if Snyder had handed the keys to Gregg Williams, or Al Saunders, that doesn’t guarantee consistency. Who’s to say that Gregg or Al wouldn’t have wanted to make some changes…do things their own way?

The fact is there were a lot of things that we wouldn’t want to be consistent. We really didn’t do very well last year. Sure, we made the playoffs, but as a wild-card ranked third in our own division with a 9-7 record. That doesn’t mean we were that good, it simply means that everyone else in our conference was that bad.

If you remove the last four games of the season, we were abysmal. We were plagued with injuries, we’d jump out to early leads and lose in the second half, and it often seemed like we beat ourselves. With four games left in the season we were 5-7, with no hope of making it into the playoffs. In order for us to make it we had to win all four and the right people had to lose. Just because that happened, doesn’t mean we were a great team, we just pulled it together when we needed to.

One of my biggest complaints of the previous coaching staff was that they seemed to believe solely in the system, irregardless of the players. I gotta admit that I was amazed to find that our defense was ranked 9th in the league considering how it seemed like we just let teams march down the field on us. When you line up your defensive backs 12 yards off the line of scrimmage, and have your safeties sitting in the front row end-zone seats, you are going to give up some yardage. It may only be a few yards here or there, but those yards add up. We certainly didn’t get beat deep very often, but we let teams march into the Red-Zone.

Our offense wasn’t much better. If you want proof that Al Saunders system takes years to learn, you need look no further than the last four games of last season. Todd Collins looked great, better than both Mark Brunell, and Jason Campbell…right up until we played Seattle. I know a lot of people wanted to see Collins start this year, but he is not the future of the team…Jason is.

Now, do we honestly believe that either Williams or Saunders would stay on under a new head coach, especially after being passed over for the job themselves? Even if they did, does anyone think that would be a harmonious relationship?

Of all the candidates available I believe Zorn was the right choice. I don’t believe that Williams would have done any better here than he did in Buffalo, and I don’t think Saunders would have been any better. Saunders has a good system, but it’s just so complex that it takes years to master.

Blache and Smith seem to have the right attitude; you game-plan around the strengths of your players. Smith was with the Titans when they first put Young in. In 2006 the Titans changed up their normal game-plan to be something more like what Young was used to playing in college. They were forced to do that since they had lost their starter to injury, and had only just drafted Young. When they did that, Young looked unstoppable. The following year, in 2007, they felt comfortable enough to return to their original system, and Young didn’t look nearly as good.

Blache has said he believes that the strength of the defense starts at the corner position. This indicates to me that we will see defenses tailored around who is on the field, versus the “one-size-fits-all” style that brought us Adam Archuletta.

With Zorn’s perceived ability to develop QBs, and his coordinators perceived willingness to game-plan around what the players do well, it would seem that we have a coaching staff willing to do whatever it takes to get the most out of their players.

Now we’ll just have to wait and see if it works.