Bleacher Report - Articles by Scott Tully

The Hottest Bracket Around

Scott Tully — Sat, 21 Mar 2009 03:00:43 -0400

MIDWEST

1-Louisville
16- TBA

Not only will this be a blowout on the court, but it is a blowout in terms of girls as well.

8-Ohio St.
9-Siena

Sure, the unknown Siena will impress people with their on-court play, but with only 3,000 Saints on campus in Loudonville, N.Y., the players sure aren’t distracted by the ladies.

On the other hand, Ohio State offers over 52,000 students, equating to one Psychology 101 lecture hall on the Columbus campus having as many good-looking girls as the entire Siena campus.

5-Utah
12-Arizona

You make the call: toned, tan girls, or starch-white, snowboarding Mormons. That’s what I thought.

4-Wake Forest
13-Cleveland State

Sure, Wake Forest has the smallest enrollment for BCS football schools with 4,400, but still it’s in North Carolina. This means as long as they have one “7” on campus, it will be better than anything Cleveland has to offer.

6-West Virginia
11-Dayton

Even though it’s West Virginia, the school is annually in the top ten rankings for the best party school. I don’t know too many great party schools with ugly girls. Maybe the Daniel Boone look-a-like guys keep all the gross looking girls on the river banks and in the Appalachians.

I can’t disagree with this because the last thing you want to do is take one for the team, and mess around with a girl whose best attribute is her mom’s biscuits-and-gravy recipe. Plus Dayton is not a wanted school for many girls.

3-Kansas
14-North Dakota State

Lawrence, Kansas, doesn’t have much to offer other than Jayhawks’ sports and parties. And plus, would you really want to be with a girl who is a Bison?

7-Boston College
10-USC

This is a tougher one than most would think. Just like a 7/10 match-up on the court is hard, so is this decision. Sure, USC gets all the hype for having rich, good-looking Southern California girls, but that’s what the ABC cameras show you during football games

Yes, there are some very good looking girls, but one also has to deal with personality that comes from a rich family. Let’s not forget a student must have exceptional grades and SAT scores to get into the school.

USC also gets the pub it receives because of where it’s located: the women who aren’t enrolled in the school but still live in the area contribute to this idea of unbeatable girl quality.

Boston College can compete just as well and has girls who can get after it at parties as well. I’m taking USC solely based on the fact their top girls can compete with the top girls at any other school in the country.

2- Michigan State
15-Robert Morris

The female Spartans definitely can compete around the country. Even though they are bundled up for the winter, they are still very good-looking girls.

1-Louisville
8-Ohio State

I have to go with the Buckeyes just because of numbers. Sure, a lot of girls at a school equal more ugly ones, but there is plenty of talent to go around.

Yes, Louisville is located right next to Churchill Downs, and anyone who has seen the Kentucky Derby knows there is some unbelievable ladies with the big hats on. The catch is they aren’t Louisville students.

12-Arizona
4-Wake Forest

This one is a 30-point blowout in favor of the Wildcats.

6-West Virginia
3-Kansas
There are just way too many nasty ones for West Virginia to compete in this game.

10-USC
2-Michigan

Even though I stated the Trojans are overrated, they get an easy match-up to advance to the round of 16. The Big Ten just can’t hang with the Pac-10 girls.

8-Ohio St.
12-Arizona

As stated above, the Big Ten cannot hang with the Pac-10 girls.

3-Kansas
10-USC

USC’s top talent is way too much for Kansas to handle. Plus, one of the girl’s dads from USC could get you to be an extra in Entourage.

12-Arizona
10-USC

Even though they will probably be eliminated in the first round of the actual tournament, the No. 12 Wildcats sneak into the final four. They are way too physically fit.

WEST

1-Connecticut
16-Chattanooga

Even though winters can get bleak in Storms, there still are better looking girls than at the small campus of Chattanooga. Why do you think Mocs alum Terrell Owens was so quiet when he got to the NFL?

Even TO would be ashamed for the lack of girls at a school after balling it up every Saturday. Then, after he made “The Catch 2” versus the Packers, he learned when you are a star athlete, you get amazing girls. Subsequently, we as a country got the new TO.

8-BYU
9-Texas A&M

The only way to get a girl from BYU is to marry them, so I will pass. I guess the plus is if a girl from BYU is all about you, she’s made that decision without alcohol, which I’ve yet to experience.

College Station, even for an agriculture and mechanics school, has enough good looking girls to get the win over former No. 1 pick, Joe Smith’s followers.

5-Purdue
12-Northern Iowa

Even though Purdue has mostly cows for females on campus, they have enough good looking girls coming to school from Chicago to pick up for the Buffalo Wild’s "all-you-can-eat" girls. Northern Iowa just doesn’t have the size to compete. The Panthers on that campus weren’t exactly wowing Kurt Warner back in the day.

4-Washington
13-Mississippi State

Sure, Seattle has the reputation for being cold and wet, but that doesn’t mean the girls are hurting. There are things called tanning beds and UW girls know all about the UV.

The Wayans brothers were doing fine with the ladies in “The Sixth Man,” and that’s all the leverage I need. Plus, Mississippi State is by far the worst looking school in the entire SEC. If it weren’t for the Bulldogs from Starkville, the SEC would be out of control.

6-Marquette
11-Utah State

I know I have hated on the female Mormons throughout the bracket, but we have an upset here. Utah State is the least academic out of the other major Utah schools (BYU and Utah), which means the less dedicated Mormons are Aggies.

A little inside information: nothing is better than a college girl who is ready to rebel against her parents (especially if it is over religion and waiting until marriage).

Also, I’m sorry Marquette. but I’m not impressed with your Golden Eagles. Have you seen Dwyane Wade’s estranged wife? Wow. The two met in college, and it’s no wonder Wade is so raw on the court. The guy was probably in the gym 12 hours a day to avoid her. Wade, you were a top five NBA pick and that’s all you could pull?

3-Missouri
14-Cornell

I’m going with the Tigers here. For this bracket, we are talking good-looking girls, not future congresswomen, doctors, authors and CEOs, of whom the Big Red has to offer.

7-Maryland
10-California

Cal is probably the school I know better than any other. Going to high school in Berkeley, I used to sneak into parties. Trust me; I’m not sneaking in anymore. Looking back, it would be like Flavor Flav sneaking into a library: there's just no point.

Except for the southern California girls who are smart enough to get into Cal (and don’t want to go to UCLA), the Berkeley campus is lacking big time.

Remember, to get into Cal, students better have a 4.0 GPA with steep SAT scores. This game is a boat race; College Park has freaks in Maryland.

2-Memphis
15-CSU Northridge

Biggest upset of the tournament. The 15th seeded Matadors get past the Tigers solely because their school is a state school in California. With the budget crisis in the state, more and more students are forced to go to their third or fourth options.

This means girls, who would have gone to San Diego State ten years ago, are forced to go to lesser-known schools at the least desirable locations. Case in point: Northridge.

But, with over 30,000 students, there are plenty of options. Sure, Memphis has some good looking girls, but the majority of the hot ones are going to Knoxville and getting out of the Hustle & Flow that is Memphis.

1-Connecticut
9-Texas A&M

College Station has plenty of girls who couldn’t get into the University of Texas, and they run all over the Huskies. The only plus of getting with a girl from Connecticut is that her dad might be an accountant for ESPN, and can get you in the building.

5-Purdue
4-Washington

Like I wrote before, Purdue is hurting big time. If it wasn’t for an easy round one match-up, there is no way they get by. The school is very good academically (which typically means less hot girls), and on top of that, West Lafayette, Indiana isn’t a desired location for many.

10-Maryland
2-CSU Northridge

Maryland blows out the Northridge, as they are a one-hit wonder with the first round upset. The Terrapins bring it.

9-Texas A&M
4-Washington

I will take a school from Texas any day over a school in the Pacific Northwest. The Huskies had a good fight to get to the Sweet 16, but the Aggies have way too many girls to handle.

9-Texas A&M
10-Maryland

Scott Van Pelt (Maryland alum) knows what’s up about College Park. He was probably at parties getting after it on the bottle, giving play-by-play updates with the game on mute at the party, while admiring all the female Terrapins. This party school sneaks by Texas A&M to get into the final four.

EAST
1-Pittsburgh
16-East Tennessee State

The Pitt Panthers have enough talent to get by the Buccaneers from Tennessee.

8-Oklahoma State
9-Tennessee

Sorry T. Boone Pickens, maybe you can start paying better-looking girls to come to Oklahoma. Tennessee is producing way more talent.

Plus, the Vols now have one of the best-looking wives for a college football coach. Somehow crybaby Lane Kiffin has a mouthpiece on recruits (and the ladies).

5-Florida State
12-Wisconsin

If it were any other five seed, the Badgers would advance. The Madison campus is one of the biggest party schools in the country, but party school doesn’t always equal top-notch girls. Florida State is one of the best-looking schools in the country.

4-Xavier
13-Portland St.

Even though there are only 4,000 students at Xavier, it barely beats out the mainly commuter school of Portland State.

6-UCLA
11-VCU

Just like USC, UCLA is highly overrated. The girls surrounding the Westwood campus create the illusion that hot girls go to the school. Every year, the Bruins create less and less talent, but with an easy match-up versus VCU, they get by.

3-Villanova
14-American

I will take a Big East school over Patriot League school just on numbers.

7-Texas
10-Minnesota

Sorry Gophers, you have no chance with what the Longhorns at Texas bring to the table.

2-Duke
15-Binghamton

Duke, you’re lucky you face a school nobody has heard of (which means no hot girls). The Bearcats have no chance, and Duke gets by.

1-Pittsburgh
9-Tennessee

The Vols are a big-time party school and have the girls to back it up. There just isn’t enough talent cheering in the Oakland Zoo (Pittsburgh’s student section) to compete with.

5-Florida State
4-Xavier

This is the biggest blow out in any of the second round match-ups. Would be a 30-point route. Florida State has way too much talent.

6-UCLA
3-Villanova

UCLA gets by with another easy match-up. Even though I said they're overrated, they still have enough to get by the Wildcats.

7-Texas
2-Duke

Another blowout in the second round. Texas is one of the best in the country and well, Duke, your white lacrosse team needed to pay for a stripper from Durham to come to a party. What’s that say about the rich girls attending the school?

9-Tennessee
5-Florida State

Florida State has too much to offer and the in-shape girl Seminoles run away with the game in the second half.

6-UCLA
7-Texas

The overrated Bruins get run out of the gym by the Longhorns.

5-Florida State
7-Texas

It was the toughest game in the tournament to decide on. Florida State used to be an all-girl school and still to this day has way more girls on campus than guys.

The problem is match-ups, and Texas has many more girls than Florida State. Again, with over 50,000 students, there are hot girls everywhere you look.

SOUTH

1-North Carolina
16-Radford

The Tar Heels have too much talent for the Highlanders to compete with.

8-LSU
9-Butler

The Bayou Bengals know how to party and have the girls to show for it. They rout the Bulldogs.

5-Illinois
12-Western Kentucky

Even though the Hilltoppers have a good chance to upset the Fighting Illini in the real game, they have no chance in this match-up. The Champagne campus is beautiful and has plenty of students to go around.

4-Gonzaga
13-Akron

Even though Spokane, Wash., is not a desired location, it sure beats Akron, Ohio. The average Zip is going to be working the front desk at a tire plant after graduation. At least you know a Gonzaga girl has some money.

6-Arizona State
11-Temple

A Tempe, Ariz., campus or a ghetto Philadelphia campus? Vegas puts the spread of this game at 45.

3-Syracuse
14-S.F. Austin

Even though the winters are brutal and you may have to mess around with a girl while she is rocking a North Face puff jacket, Syracuse edges by the small school of S.F. Austin.

With over twice as many students, the Orange sneak by. Plus, would you want to be in Nagodoches, Texas?

7-Clemson
10-Michigan

Let’s see: one of the best looking schools in the ACC, or one of the ugliest looking schools in the Big Ten? Ann Harbor is struggling big-time with the females, and I give them credit for being able to get recruits to go there.

2-Oklahoma
15-Morgan State

Todd Bozeman, I’m sure you are hiring girls to lure kids to go to school there, because if not, they would be shaking their heads. The Sooners, even if they’re in the “wonderful” state of Oklahoma, have plenty of girls.

1-North Carolina
8-LSU

Even though North Carolina can really bring it, I am biased towards the South and their party ways. The Tigers get after it a lot more, and they get by the top-seeded Tar Heels.

5-Illinois
4-Gonzaga

Illinois runs past the Bulldogs in this match-up. Stockton wasn’t chasing tail while in Spokane.

6-Arizona State
3-Syracuse

The Sun Devils blow out the Orange. Just compare finals week between the schools during December: Syracuse girls are sprinting from the library, bundled up and running to a heated classroom, while Arizona State girls are walking to their final, probably hung over, and not wearing much at all because it’s 80 degrees out.

7-Clemson
2-Oklahoma

The South Carolina campus is packed with hot girls and is too much for Boomer Sooner to compete with. Go to a Clemson baseball game, and you will miss the perfectly executed hit-and-run in the 3rd inning because you are too busy checking out the scene in the stands.

8-LSU
5-Illinois

LSU gets by fairly easily in this Big 10/SEC match-up.

6-Arizona State
7-Clemson

Even though the girls are classier in Clemson, Arizona State just has way too much talent to be overcome.

6-Arizona State
8-LSU

Both schools can party with the best of them, but Arizona State has the better-looking girls. They advance to Detroit.

FINAL FOUR

7-Texas
6-Arizona State

This is by far the hardest game of the tournament. Both girls offer amazing talent but I always have to go with class over trash, and Texas wins it. When Texas girls get wasted, they are known to sing karaoke with their southern voices.

When Arizona State girls get wasted, they are known to keep the party going by “hitting the slopes” in the bathroom (and trust me, there isn’t any snow in Tempe).

10-USC
7-Maryland

Maryland’s surprise run in the tournament comes to the end as the Trojans knock them off.

7-Texas
10-USC

Note only will the 2006 Rose Bowl go down as one of the best games ever, but it also may go down has having the best looking girls in one stadium at a time. Texas gets by because of their girls top to bottom.

National Champion: Texas

When you combine over 50,000 students, a beautiful campus, 6th street, and smart, classy girls, it just doesn’t get any better.

The NFL Combine Report

Scott Tully — Mon, 23 Feb 2009 22:15:15 -0500

The four players who stood out to me in the 2009 Combine:

Ian Johnson

Breaking news—this running back who played at Boise State did something really cool I bet none of you knew. He proposed to his girlfriend after he scored the winning two-point conversion to upset the Adrian Peterson Oklahoma Sooners in the 2006 Fiesta Bowl.

When will this go away?

Of course before Johnson ran his 40, the NFL Network had to replay the moment of him proposing. Yes, it was a cute moment and I’m glad they are in love. But can the guy get attention for being, let’s say, the all-time WAC touchdown leader, being a team guy, and giving up carries to help the team his junior and senior seasons?

I don’t know, but since this is the combine, get excited that he ran a 4.48.

Gartrell Johnson

What are you wearing? I understand your legs are huge, but there is no reason to be wearing boyshorts.

Why would you want an NFL team to be thinking about shorts you probably stole from a Colorado State women’s volleyball player instead of your career day in the New Mexico Bowl with a 285-yard, two touchdown performance?

The two things worse than those shorts were your 40 time (4.71...can you say fullback?) and your jersey in the bowl game.

Gartrell, this isn’t 1993. Guys don’t show their belly-button anymore on the field. So, when you get to the league, tuck in your jersey and stop looking like a 15-year-old girl at the Arkansas County Fair.

Pat White

Pat, I loved you as a competitor throughout your four-year career at West Virginia.

You showed a lot of heart and won four bowl games in a row, including an unforgettable freshman bowl win against Georgia in the Sugar Bowl.

The issue I have with you at the combine is you’re not Kurt Warner. I understand you flicked the pill around in the your last game vs. North Carolina in the Meineke Car Care bowl, but the combine is indoors at the Lucas Oil Center, so take the gloves off.

I guess I shouldn’t hate too much, because you will need those gloves either as a third-string quarterback to keep warm, or when you are playing receiver or punt returner because there is no way you will ever be an NFL quarterback.

Chase Daniel

I hate to bash you, Chase, because you are one of my favorite college quarterbacks ever. You are the athlete every overweight, degenerate, gambling, non-athletic fan can root for because they see themselves in you.

You throw a very nice ball, but you benefited from playing in an offense at Missouri that you’ve been in since your Dragon days at Texas’ South Lake Carol High School.

Every time I watched you play this season, I loved the fact you didn’t need a rib protector because you had your gut instead.

As for the combine, you and your agent must have thought it would be beneficial to—instead of going to the pre-combine training facility that the majority of participants went to—train on frat row at Missouri.

Chase, the NFL combine doesn’t test for beer bong time, beer pong shot accuracy, and how to handle yourself like a tool. Instead, they test for athleticism: something the announcers reminded me you had every Saturday.

They would hype you as a quick runner and someone who keeps defenses on their toes because you could not only pass, but run well, too.

Guess what announcers: he isn’t athletic. He ran a 4.932 40.

Chase, you are supposed to improve from your senior year in high school (the summer before his senior year, Chase “supposedly” ran a 4.58). I wish I was at the combine to answer Chase’s question after he ran: “What was my time?"

I would have replied with one my favorite quotes from Little Giants, when Ed O’Neil said, “I don't know son, I don't have a sundial. Now get back in line.”

I’m sorry to say, Chase, your future isn’t in the NFL. Instead, you could make one hell of a quarterback for a park and recreation adult flag football league.

Remember, you are that guy who used to watched you play each Saturday. Act like them; put on those one-size-too-small Russell sweats, the different-colored zippered hoodie, and the Wal-Mart beanie. Ball in your flag football game, go to the local sports bar, and kill a few pitchers and some curly fries.

Grown Men: Stop Wearing Football Jerseys in Public

Scott Tully — Wed, 22 Oct 2008 07:16:28 -0400

There is an ongoing crisis that is taking place around the country, and it needs to be stopped.

The only thing that gets me more upset than getting the first two legs of my three team parlay correct, only to lose the third, is grown men wearing football jerseys in public.

I have no problem with people showing their team's support and wearing a jersey at a game, but if you’re the guy who wears it doing errands around town, at your kids' soccer game, or at a bar, you need to fix it.

You’re not cool wearing a jersey, and it only shows me that you have never played past junior varsity football and you live through guys that could care less about you.

You shelling out 70 bones for their jersey is only putting more money in their pockets. The same money that you cry about them making on sports talk radio.

The only thing worse than a guy wearing a jersey at a bar is his significant other wearing a matching jersey. It's not cute when "Bob," weighing in at 285, and his wife, who looks like a defensive tackle for the Washington Redskins, are both wearing Tony Romo jerseys.

"Bob," you can barely throw a football 10 yards, and the only time you did was as a kid in the summer when you'd throw the ball to your friends as they jumped in the pool because you sat in a lawn chair with your shirt on and otter pop in the other hand.

Now, I shouldn't make fun of the woman because I know it wasn't her idea to show up matching, but still, you’re not Jessica Simpson in the luxury box watching your man throw touchdown passes. So take it off and instead put on his XXL tall tee from Wal-Mart and go to work on some buffalo wings together.

Guys have no excuse to ever wear a jersey outside of a football stadium, and women are allowed to wear a jersey outside the stadium for one reason only: if and only if they hook up with a guy at a bar and the next morning are allowed to work around the house with it on.

There are only three types of people who are allowed to wear jerseys:

1.) Any kid under the age of 14. Eighth grade is the last grade I will allow someone to wear his favorite athlete's jersey before I make fun of that person. That being said, the kid better know about the athlete is he is rocking. It better not be some gift your aunt gave you for Christmas, but instead you wanted it because you respect the athlete's game.

2.) Any girl in high school who wears her boyfriend’s opposite color jersey at games. Nothing is better then seeing a cute high school girl in a No. 66 and asking yourself how did Jimbo at right guard pull and get this girl.

Also, knowing that once this girl leaves for college from her small town, Jimbo will be left working at the factory while his girlfriend that left him is now jocking jersey No. 88 along with 5,000 other coeds at game days on Saturday.

3.) Anyone mentally challenged. How could you make fun of a guy in velcro shoes proudly wearing his 1998 Puma Peyton Manning jersey? I dare anyone to tell him the player they’re wearing sucks.

So please, all guys who wear jerseys outside the stadium, please list them on eBay. I'm sure, in this economy, you could use the money.

Get UP Out the League, Mark Brunell

Scott Tully — Wed, 03 Sep 2008 07:28:33 -0400

This will be a weekly feature, so check back regularly!

Each week I will pick a new athlete from any sport, and plead for him or her to stop playing their sport.

I want to make it very clear that I did think they were good at one time, but their time is up, and it’s time to get out the league.

For example, Willie Mays on the Mets, Joe Namath on the Chargers, and Patrick Ewing on the Magic. If anyone has athlete suggestions I would be glad to consider them for future articles. Just send me a note.

The second “Get Up Out the League” athlete is Mark Brunell, from the New Orleans Saints.

Mark Brunell, your time is up.

Everybody in sports knows why scrub, soft-throwing, left-handed relief pitchers stick around—there aren't any other left-handed guys that are better— but I don’t understand why the NFL has to have the same policy.

Is the NFL keeping Brunell so he can come in and barely throw a 12-yard out, like a NL West lefty reliever comes in and walks a guy on four pitches and then gives up a double before getting pulled.

Or are the Saints keeping Brunell on the team to come in during the third quarter and throw a 3rd-and-13 pass at the feet of Marques Colston. Brunell, just retire and keep watching your daughter (Caitlin Brunell) win beauty pageants.

Yes, all you future To Catch a Predator stars can thank me for pointing out that Brunell’s daughter, even though not legal, except, I think, in Mississippi, is a beauty pageant champ.

The Saints' general manager letting Mark Brunell have an NFL jersey is worse than a dad letting his daughter hang out with Shawn Kemp in 1997.

Mark, you should have retired after the Jaguars cut you. What you did for them earlier was great, and you should have left being on top. But instead, all kids just getting into watching football will think they have a reasonable chance of making the league at quarterback when they see you take the field.

Keep it up Brunell, all you are doing is breeding more delusional dads with kids that can’t throw and are slower on their five-step drop than Rick Mirer on the Seahawks.

They think they can make it in football, not realizing that once you were a raw, great athlete at Washington, with Napoleon Kaufman, Lincoln Kennedy, and Steve Emtman—who helped Danny O’Shea’s Little Giants defeat the 52-point favorite Cowboys, with Spike running the rock.

So, Mark, do all us NFL gamblers a favor and please get out of the league; so in the event that Drew Brees gets hurt, we don’t have to rely on you to cover our rent check for the month.

Rich Rodriguez Needs Athletic (Black) Players in Order to Win

Scott Tully — Tue, 02 Sep 2008 06:06:51 -0400

Again, I write the articles you want to bring up at work or to your friends but can't.

After watching the first weekend of college football, which was very entertaining, I noticed several things. The two main things were 1) great coaching can win with an average team like UCLA and 2) the spread offense is only good if you have athletes.

So, while watching the Utah/Michigan game at a CAL Frat House, I was embarrassed for Rich Rodriguez that he had to watch his world-famous offense get run by slow players.

Sports Illustrated raised the question in an article in their college preview on how to stop the spread offense. Well, here is the answer: Have your athletic director find teams who run the spread with slow, unathletic white guys who try to execute it.

I didn’t know Elvis Grbac came back to Michigan to try run the spread.

Why do you think Adidas in sponsoring Michigan this season? Nike kicked them to the curb faster than Terrance Howard did with one of his Memphis girls in "Hustle and Flow," and said get some black guys running the spread and we will get you back the TD cleats.

The next question I have is why didn’t Michigan give Range Rovers, homes, and cash for Terrelle Pryor to go Michigan. He would be your savior like Benny the Jet was in "The Sandlot."

Yes, the girls in Ann Arbor are gross, but do anything possible and hook Pryor up. Michigan needs him so badly because it is painful to watch the spread not run by athletes.

Rich, you better get the grimiest players you know from Miami, Texas, or Southern California to Wolverine country quicker than Darnell Green in the 40. Have your webmaster put a banner on the school website:

HELP WANTED: BLACK QUARTERBACKS

Michigan fans, in less than three years, Rodriguez will do what he has done at all of his previous schools: get all the athletes he needs to execute his high-powered offense. This year, though, will be a long and tough one.

Sure, Utah is a very good team, but they did everything in their power to hand Michigan the game. Still, though, the few times Michigan had to make something happen, they couldn’t, because their offense looked like a over-40 flag football team at the local park at 8 a.m. on Sunday.

Rodriguez has always needed to be successful running the ball in order to win, which is turn meant having athletic quarterbacks:

2001: 355 passes vs. 474 runs (57% Run)

2002: 279 passes vs. 714 runs (72% Run)

2003: 252 passes vs. 600 runs (70% Run)

2004: 259 passes vs. 589 runs (69% Run)

2005: 193 passes vs. 625 runs (76% Run)

2006: 265 passes vs. 628 runs (72% Run)

Shawn King (yes, the same King who was a joke in real life NFL, but raw on Madden with the Buccaneers because 11-year-olds who don’t know how to read a defense who just call hike and run with him), Woodrow Dantzler at Clemson, and, of course, Pat White at West Virginia all had very successful careers because of Rodriguez.

Nick Sheridan and Steven Threet, the two Michigan quarterbacks, who played in Saturday’s game, had better step it up soon or it will be a long year for Michigan.

So Sheridan and Threet, here is some advice, turn in your pads now before I put you on my weekly “Get Up At The League” feature, or call Nike now and get on SPARQ training.

Sheridan and Threet, how bad do you feel when Drew Bledsoe’s is better than you two scrubs?

Rich, I feel for you, and the only suggestion I have is get one of your cornerbacks and move him to quarterback.

Sure, he will make bad reads and will look gross throwing the ball with gloves on un-strapped, but at least he will have some fast twitch muscles and some fluid in his hips.

Lastly, Michigan’s offense was so bad, Garry’s Ultimate Frisbee team could execute better.

All-Time All-NBA Ugly Team

Scott Tully — Fri, 29 Aug 2008 06:04:40 -0400

I compiled this list of an all-ugly NBA team. Some have retired and some are still active in the league. The sad thing is these guys still can get any girl they want. Have to love gold diggers...

PG: Sam Cassel

Starting at point guard standing 6 feet 3 inches, weighing in at 185 pounds from the planet Mars, Sam Cassel.

Even though he played his college ball at Florida St. all the power house schools on the planet Mars wanted this guy to run the point for them.

Shooting Guard: Delonte West

Any guy with some nasty tattoos on his neck has a pretty good chance to make the team. Then add the fact that he has herpes on his lower lip, he became a lock to make the team. Delonte, it looks like you were making out with a Arkansas stripper on New Year's.

Small Froward: Tyrone Hill

This guy is just flat out nasty. His own momma is probably embarrassed. The only good thing is the guy guarding him will have his eyes closed every time Hill has the ball.

Power Foward: Popeye Jones

This guy's ears make Reggie Miller's look small. Not to mention he has his left eye looking to the right. Plus his eyes are cross-eyed.

If any kid went up to ask Popeye for an autograph (which I don't know any kid would anyway) they would ask first for him to look at them.

Center: Gheorge Muresan

No need to explain this one. Just a flat out a joke. The sad thing he appeared in Enimen's music video "My Name Is" as a ventriloquist. Also, what was Billy Crystal thinking?

6th Man: Greg Ostertag

With a flat top like that, he looks like a cop in Mississippi Burning.

Head Coach: Stan Van Gundy

This Ron Jeremy look-a-like is the perfect fit to coach this gross looking team.

Horrible Mention

Charlie Villanueva: He can't grow hair, has Alopecia Areata, so I can't put him on the starting team.

Shelden Williams: He looks like a Manatee. How he pulled Candace Parker, I will never know.

Thanks Seth Miller.

The Official Answer to Why Stuart Scott's Eye is Jacked Up

Scott Tully — Wed, 27 Aug 2008 08:05:30 -0400

Last night on SportsCenter, Stuart Scott played presidential candidate Barack Obama one on one in hoops.

Stuart got worked by a guy who looked like he had worse hips then Bo Jackson, then he was licking Obama's huevos, and kept saying nice shot.

Stuart, forget that you are playing one the most famous people in the world—compete. Also, Stuart, Obama only has a left—force him right and rip him. Just because he will probably be living in the White House doesn't mean you have to lay down.

If I were playing Obama, I would lock him up on defense. After I blocked his weak floater, I would go Dikembe Mutombo and wag my finger in his face. Then, when I had the rock, I would:

1.) Post him up.

2.) Drop step on him.

3.) Elbow him in the chest

4.) Score

5.) Tell him to get his weak game off the court and fix our country's economy, so I can afford to lose more three team parlays on college football.

Now to the point of this article. I have the answer as to why Stuart was wearing goggles.

(On a side note, Stuart—if you are going to wear goggles can you please wear some Horace Grant on the Magic frames, or Greg Carr on the Jazz, Oakley-style? Don't wear goggles that you look like you found on the racketball court.)

This story is TRUE. I wouldn't be able to make this up.

I would say it is pretty safe to say that most of you degenerates on Bleacher Report watch ESPN and SportsCenter an on a regular basis.

Some of you probably watch the 3, 4, 5, and 6 AM, shows thinking maybe that top ten will change, or that tool-bag Tim Kurkjian has a different take on his report of guys who have the most career strikeouts in the seventh inning vs. lefthander pitchers born after 1985.

That said, only the degenerates of all degenerates know why Stuart Scott’s right eye is so messed up compared to his left eye.

Scott’s eye is the way it is because he decided to put the cape on back in 2002 at the New York Jets training camp.

Then-Jets Head Coach Herman Edwards invited Scott onto the field. Instead of watching the action from sideline like any non-athlete should do, Scott decided it would be cool to participate in some drills.

Sure, one of the best perks of working for ESPN is going to events that most fans can only dream of or watch form afar. So, Scott decides to do some wide receiver drills.

In the drill where the jug machine shoots balls out and receivers have their back to the machine, most turn around quickly and catch the ball. Unfortunately for Scott, he has hands worse than Oakland Raiders tight end Ricky Dudley.

Scott wore the ball right off the eye. He needed to get it removed and that is why he has a glass eye.

I’m not trying to dog Scott too hard, because he is battling cancer right now—but come on, if you’re not a NFL player, get off the field.

Have your dreams like all the fans you talk to each and every night—just don't try to live them out.

Get UP Out the League, Kenny Rogers

Scott Tully — Tue, 26 Aug 2008 11:40:37 -0400

This will be a weekly feature, so check back regularly!

Each and every week I will pick a new athlete from any sport, and plead for him or her to stop playing their sport.

I want to make it very clear that this isn’t me thinking they weren’t good at one time, but more that their time is up, and it’s time to get out the league.

Examples would be Willie Mays on the Mets, Joe Namath on the Chargers, and Patrick Ewing on the Magic. If anybody has any suggestions of athletes, I would be glad to consider them for future articles. Just send me a note.

My first “Get Up Out the League” athlete is Kenny Rogers, from the Detroit Tigers.

Kenny, your time is up. You have been a crafty lefty your whole career, but your crafty is now just crappy.

Every time you go out to the bump, Tigers’ fans have to pray you give up less than five runs to give the team a chance to win. You get away now with picking a guy off once every four games and still playing great defense, getting balls off the mound.

I don’t know if the pine tar on the hand is less sticky this year or what, but you’re not cutting it out there on the mound.

Sure, you will be remembered for pushing a cameraman, but I will remember you as a guy who dealt for the Oakland A’s, and whenever you pitched against them at the Coliseum, you owned them. While on the A's, in 1998, Rogers won 16 games. His career at the Coliseum is a remarkable 25-4 with a 3.44 ERA.

“The Gambler” also pitched a perfect game, which will be the highlight of his career. But those days are long gone, and it is getting sad to see you struggle now.

So, Kenny Rogers, Scott Tully is begging you to...“Get Up Out the League.”

Little League World Series' Fake Sportsmanship Breeds Soft Kids in America

Scott Tully — Mon, 25 Aug 2008 05:52:55 -0400

Before I go off on my new pet peeve of sports, I want to congratulate the Hawaiian team for winning the Little League World Series.

The "Little Shane Victorinos" showed a lot of heart throughout the tournament and deserved to be crowned champions, even though the kids from Louisiana, or should I say the lefty closer/first baseman, choked the game harder than Jean Van de Velde at Carnoustie.

My pet peeve: Kids in the Little League World Series shaking the hands and congratulating their opponent for hitting a home run against them or making a great defensive play.

I’m sorry, and I’m sure Bleacher Report members are going to let me hear it on this, but I really don’t care. I need to get this out.

Just like I pleaded for kids to take their cleats off, I’m begging these kids to stop going up and shaking opponents’ hands after the other team does something good.

I’m fine when a kid makes a diving catch to tell him nice play, but don’t go out of your way and shake his hand and slap him on the rear to congratulate him.

That would be like when these kids go to their welcome back dance in junior high and they really want to dance with this one girl, but she decides, when the DJ plays Chris Brown’s “Say Goodbye,” to dance with a kid from another school, to go to that guy and give him a handshake.

So, just like I hope none of these kids would do that, why is it hard to ask for a kid not to congratulate an opposing player for making a great play on them?

Sure, you will write, “Scott, Little League is about sportsmanship." Well, that’s why, America, every year there are fewer and fewer Americans in the MLB. Little League should be about teaching the kids the fundamentals of baseball in an exciting and organized format.

Coaches should preach COMPETITION to their kids.

Competition is what life is about. For those that disagree, you aren’t making it in life. Unless mommy or daddy gives you everything, you will not succeed in life unless you compete. So why not drill this in kids’ heads?

Yes, these kids are 12, but in three years they will be in high school and will have to make a team. They need to compete hard or they will get the scissors.

Simple as that. You don’t compete in school; you will flunk out. You don’t compete to get that girl; you will be hugging your pillow at night. You don’t compete for that job or raise; you won’t have money.

I would also love to know the number of teams that made it to Williamsport that have coaches who preach sportsmanship.

Sure, the coaches tell the kids to be good sports, but would they really discipline their best player, probably their son, if he didn’t show sportsmanship?

Maybe that’s my ultimate frustration. I know the sportsmanship displayed is really faker than Michael Jackson’s face, post-"Thriller." That’s like a college football coach preaching his players are student athletes, and when the best running back is having trouble in class, grades get fixed.

This gets me to why kids are so soft in America today. Not only do I have to watch kids wear face guards up at the dish, but also shortstops wearing mouth guards and kids crying after they give up two runs in the first.

No, I’m not saying I want kids to be poor sports and have bad attitudes, but I do want to them to have some toughness and not lay down like a guy in the French military.

I even saw a kid go up and shake the hand of a kid he hit with a pitch. Are you kidding me? When you are on the bump, you are in control. Let the other team think you did that. Have them fear your pitching. By going and shaking the kid’s hand it shows, “I made a mistake I'm sorry.”

Why don't you just tell the kid at bat what you are throwing so he can get a hit and be happy?

Now, if you, as a pitcher, hit a kid and he is down and hurt, yes, go up make sure he is fine and be a good sport. But when the kid is perfectly fine, don’t run up to him and make sure he feels ok.

I’m sure people will be telling me, “Winning isn’t the only thing in life.”

Winning isn't everything?

Well, tell that to your boss or wife when you aren't bringing money in. Everything in life is a competition. Can I get that job, can I lose 20 pounds, can I buy that first home, and when the pressure is on and everyone is watching, can I come through?

Angel Valodia Matos: My 2008 Beijing Olympic Hero

Scott Tully — Sun, 24 Aug 2008 00:24:24 -0400

The hero for me this Olympics wasn't Michael Phelps, Kerri Walsh, Misty May-Treanor, or Usain Bolt, but instead Cuban taekwondo competitor Angel Matos.

Now, before you skip to the end of the article and write a comment claiming that I'm an idiot, read me out.

Matos is a hero because he did something so vicious a teenager living in a New Orleans project wouldn't even do it. He went Jean-Claude Van Damme'n from Bloodsport on Swedish judge Chakir Chelbat's face after he was disqualified for taking too long to re-enter the fight.

Matos was winning 3-2 with 1:02 in the second round when he fell to the mat after being hit by his opponent, Kazakhstan's Arman Chilmanov. He was sitting there, awaiting medical attention, then was disqualified for taking too much injury time.

Fighters get one minute, and Matos was disqualified when his time ran out. That's when he decided to go Pat Tillman and be a real hero by kicking the judge in the face.

No other athlete in the entire Olympics has the guts to pull off a MacGyver act like that.

The judge's face looked like officer Jake Hoyt's in Training Day after Denzel left him with the eses in the hood. Not to mention he probably had more whiplash than linebacker Gerry Bertier in Remember the Titans after getting "truck sticked" by the car.

I'm just very disappointed that more athletes haven't displayed this kind of heroics. More athletes should follow Matos' example:

•When Chris Webber got called for a technical foul in the 1993 NCAA championship game for calling a timeout Michigan didn't have, he should have stomped the referee with the Nike Air Forces like a historic black college step team.

•When the referee in the BCS championship game with Miami and Ohio State called pass interference on Miami to keep the game going in overtime, Sean Taylor should have pulled out the machete he kept at his house and stabbed the ref like Nino Brown stabbed his employer in New Jack City. (R.I.P S.T. 11/26/07)

•When the umpire called George Brett out for having too much pine tar after he hit a home run at Yankee Stadium, George should have broken the bat and slapped the umpire in the face, making sure he got pine tar all over his face.

So Matos, even though you will never be allowed to fight again, I will remember you and thank you for being my hero in the 2008 Olympics.

Congratulations USA Softball: Way to Choke

Scott Tully — Thu, 21 Aug 2008 07:04:17 -0400

I was just about ready to write an article about the USA softball team and to congratulate them on winning their fourth straight gold-medal.

Instead, I have been forced to write an article on the team choking harder than Nick Anderson did in the 1995 finals for the Orlando Magic, or Gordon Bombay missing the final shot as a kid for the Hawks in "The Mighty Ducks."

You can’t lose this game, USA. Beginning in 2012, the Olympic games will not include baseball or softball.

This is the last softball gold medal ever to be given out at the Olympics and you lose to Japan, a team you beat before, and to a pitcher who had pitched 21 innings the previous day.

Yukiko Ueno’s performance was amazing and she is definitely good enough to make the USA team, but losing this game to her was horrible.

“She just beat us,” U.S. starter Cat Osterman said. “I’m not hanging my head too much about it.”

You’re not hanging your head too much? What?

Glad to know that not choking for your country is important to you Cat. You’re a Longhorn from the University of Texas, step your game up. If Vince Young had choked vs. USC in the Rose Bowl (let’s say Young had a lead and blew it) and said “I’m not hanging my head too much about it.” He wouldn’t be allowed back in Austin.

After the game, USA coach Mike Candrea joined his stunned players in the huddle, many of whom couldn’t even look up. Well guess what ladies, don’t choke and you wouldn’t be so stunned.

Maybe you shouldn’t have taken that team for granted and you would have brought back a gold medal.

Instead you get to think “what if” every time you see that silver medal. Maybe you can use it as motivation in training, oh wait, never mind, your sport is done and now the USA softball will be remembered for losing their last game.

Way to make your fans that see you as role models, all the little girls in America, proud.

Crystal Bustos is the only one who brought her game to the gold medal game. It’s a shame her power bat had to go to waste, and none of her teammates could pick her up.

“This isn’t how it was supposed to end,” starting pitcher Cat Osterman said.

Really Cat?

Thanks for breaking that news to us. I thought you trained your whole life to become one of the greatest softball pitchers just to be the losing pitcher in the last game in softball history.

Michael Phelps Is Good, But He Doesn’t Compare With Usain Bolt

Scott Tully — Wed, 20 Aug 2008 19:59:31 -0400

WARNING: Before you post a comment read the entire the article.

The headline on cover of Sports Illustrated this week should be:

"The single parent mom of Michael Phelps had her kid swim because she was afraid for her 6'4" son to play basketball with black kids in Baltimore."

Michael Phelps winning eight gold medals and setting seven world records was an amazing feat that may never be matched again.

He will go down as one of the greatest Olympic athletes of all-time, for his performances in Athens and Beijing, and probobly London in 2012 when he adds to his total.

The problem I have is that what he's done is not the most impressive thing at this year’s Olympics.

Usain Bolt, who followed in the footsteps of Derice from "Cool Runnings" as a world-class Jamaican sprinter, has been far more impressive.

He won both the 100 and 200 meter dash, breaking the world record in both. The craziest part is he won the 100 while only training for it over the last few months. The guy is a freak and is a far superior athlete to Michael Phelps.

Sure Phelps won six more gold medals but here is the problem, Michael Phelps is a swimmer, which is not that impressive of a sport. I'm not saying because it’s an easy sport or that somebody doesn’t have to be an athlete to swim, but because the competition in swimming is like putting a Sports Illustrated swimsuit model in the Huntington, West Virginia beauty pageant.

Swimming pools in America, where Phelps has dominated in the pool since he was 15, are made up of a bunch of soft kids whose parents made them swim because they know their kids wouldn't be as good in traditional sports like baseball, basketball, and football.

Those same parents, who belong to country clubs, drive their Mercedes’, and live life in the suburbs far away from "Ricky in Boyz in the Hood."

So while kids who are real athletes, spend their summers running around playing and competing in all different sports, the kid swimmer’s are swimming laps after laps, while dad is shooting a "92" with his $600 Ping g10 driver and Titleist Scottie Cameron putter, gold digging mom is flirting with the clubhouse pro.

So while Phelps is competing against guys who only know how to swim, Bolt is competing against the greatest athletes in the world.

Why is that?

Throwing out Chad Johnson’s "Liberty City Swim Team," there aren’t pools in the inner city. So blacks, who are the best athletes (as evident in the in the NBA, NFL, Track, and MLB before blacks stopped playing), generally live in America’s inner cities are eliminated from becoming swimmer’s because there are no pools and besides Terrance Howard and Bernie Mac in "Pride" are no swim coaches.

Even if there were beautiful pools, kids in the hood wouldn’t swim because their parents would teach them the sport is gayer than Kordell Stewart, Jennifer Aniston's brother in "The Break-Up", and John Amaechi combined.

I mean, really, when is the last time you looked at a swimmer and were like, "Damn, he would beat the crap out of me."?

Those same athletes that Bolt goes against, if trained to swim since they were kids, could easily be a college swimmer. Phelps, on the other hand, could train his whole life and no way could his goofy ass play a real college sport. Phelps could only play one sport, a real athlete could adapt to many.

As for the white families who are watching Bolt get guys in the 100 and 200 so viciously, parents better be telling their kids he is a stud and a freak and more impressive then Phelps instead of what you're probably saying, "Look at this cocky Jamaican, show some sportsmanship."

You know why white people are hating and saying Bolt is cocky? It’s because they are jealous the black guy in the Special Olympics gets them in the 100 with there pathetic time of 18.73. Trust me white people would be doing TO, Ocho Cinco, Mayweather, and Bolt celebrations if they could do what these guys could do.

Why don’t you watch Phelps every year? Or take your kids to see the local Division I college meet?

Oh I forgot it’s boring as hell and the world’s top athletes weren't competing in it.

So when "Billy" comes home this October in tears because he got cut from the junior high hoop team, don’t sign him up for the local swim team and tell him, "Son now you won’t have to compete against the black kids anymore."

Instead, tell him to stop being soft like a European soccer player, and work on a real sports team.

Just how white families move to the "hills" to get away from black people, they send the same message by shaving their kids bodies, putting them in a Speedo, and giving them a CapriSun after practice by having them swim so their kids won’t have to compete against the black kids.

Sure there are exceptions in life, there was a black swimmer for the USA team. Cullen Jones, who swam at North Carolina St. was on one of the relay teams with Phelps (he did almost blow gold for Phelps). So just like there is the occasional white running back in the NFL, there will be the occasional black swimmer.

So while all you went home and made sure you had your TiVo working so you wouldn’t miss one Phelps' race, you were doing yourself a disservice for not doing the same for Bolt.

We all know if Bolt was an American, NBC would be all oll over him like they are with Phelps, and everybody would be agreeing with me. But no, white people get sucked in once every four years to watch swimming and hope whomever NBC promotes, wins.

Scott Tully's Top 25 College Football Preview: No. 22 South Florida Bulls

Scott Tully — Tue, 19 Aug 2008 12:59:25 -0400

All Bulls fans should be very optimistic about this coming season. This is mainly because of QB Matt Grothe, but alongside Grothe, the Bulls also return nine other starters on offense and seven on defense.

Although the Bulls lost first-round pick (25th overall) CB Mike Jenkins to the Dallas Cowboys, they do return NCAA sack leader George Selvie, who tallied 14.5 sacks last season.

QB Matt Grothe ran for 10 TDs and threw for another 14 TDs, but he also threw 14 picks. Grothe needs to limit the turnovers and concentrate on making the correct reads in the Bulls' spread offense. With the pass or run threat Grothe possesses in the spread offense, opposing defenses will have their hands full.

RBs Mike Ford (645 yards, 12 TDs) and Ben Williams (425 yards, six TDs) had important roles in the Bulls' offense last season and look to carry the load this season as well.

An interesting test for the Bulls early in the season will be on Sep. 13, when they host the Kansas Jayhawks, who also had a “Cinderella” season last year, going 12-1.

Like a typical Southern team, the Bulls struggle playing in the cold. If the Bulls run the table until their final game at West Virginia, you can bet the weather will play a factor when the Bulls travel to Morgantown on Dec. 6.

Andy Lawson, college football analyst, contributed to this article.

Scott Tully's Top 25 College Football Preview: No. 23 Pittsburgh Panthers

Scott Tully — Tue, 19 Aug 2008 12:02:46 -0400

With Dave Wannstedt entering his fourth year under helm for the Panthers, he looks to improve on his 16-19 record.

If Wannstedt does not improve this year and reach a bowl game, the Panther faithful will have a lot to gripe about and could very well end Wannstedt’s tenure at Pittsburgh. The Panthers were tied for second-to-last in the Big East in 2007, but could have easily have had a much stronger record.

Three times they were inside the opponent’s 10-yard line at the end of the game, needing a TD to win, and twice had touchdowns called back.

The Panthers return eight players on offense and seven on the defense. With Big East Freshman Player of the Year LeSean McCoy (1,328 yards 14 TD’s) the Panthers look to attack their opponents on the ground.

Although the Panthers return eight players on offense, the three holes that need to be filled will be on the offensive line. If the Panthers cannot get good production from the young offensive line, they will struggle not only in the running game, but the passing game as well.

Junior QB Bill Stull was the third-string QB last year, only attempting 20 passes, while completing 14 of the attempts for one TD. The Panthers do not expect Stull to lead the nation or even the Big East in yards or TDs, but they want Stull to manage the game and not turn the ball over. Stull is lucky to have a talented RB in McCoy to take an important role in the offense.

The top two WRs in yards returning from last season in Oderick Turner (486, 5 TDs) and TJ Porter (329) and are expected to have big-play abilities.

Even though the Panther’s have some play makers on offense the strongest part of the team will be their defense. DE Greg Romeus and LB Scott McKillop are ball hawkers who will create turnovers and cause great amounts of pressure of opposing offenses.

McKillop had 151 tackles last year, which led the Big East by nearly 25 more tackles than the closest player. LBs McKillop, Dunn, and Murray all returning from last season will be the strongest part of the defense for the Panthers.

The Panthers' biggest test of the season will be week 6 at South Florida, other than the “Backyard Brawl” when the Panthers host West Virginia on Nov. 28. Look for Pittsburgh to surprise some people this year and finish in the top two in the Big East.

Andy Lawson, college football analyst, contributed to this article.

All-Time College Football Team Composed of Active College Coaches

Scott Tully — Mon, 18 Aug 2008 05:19:55 -0400

The list below is a football team comprised of all active FBS (formerly Division I-A) coaches. The school next to the coach’s name is the school where he currently coaches. The school below is the school where he played.

QB: Steve Spurrier (South Carolina)

Florida (1963-1966): The Gator quarterback was one of the best in college football. He was the 1966 Heisman Trophy winner.

RB: Dan Hawkins (Colorado)

UC Davis (1978-1982): Played fullback for the Aggies but had no speed. No, the real reason he is starting at RB for this team is that no college coach was a running back. PLEASE Lawrence Phillips, take over a program.

FB: Jeff Jagodzinski (Boston College)

University of Wisconsin–Whitewater (1981-1984): Was a three-year starter at fullback for the WarHawks.

WR: Tyrone Willingham (Washington)

Michigan State (1975-1977): The former Spartan played both quarterback and wide receiver.

WR: Mike Bellotti (Oregon)

UC Davis (1970-1973): Never thought I would have two guys from UC Davis on the team, but Bellotti edged Clemson's Tommy Bowden. Bowden was a walk-on, while Bellotti was an all-conference receiver in his senior year.

TE: Tim Brewster (Minnesota)

Illinois (1981-1984): Was a two-time all-Big Ten tight end and captain of the 1984 Rose Bowl team.

Tackle: Dave Wannstedt (Pittsburgh)

Pittsburgh (1971-1973): Was a strong blocker for the Panthers and blocked for Heisman Trophy winner Tony Dorsett.

Guard: Ralph Friedgen (Maryland)

Maryland (1962, 1968): "The Fridge" was a force on the line. He could pull with the best of them.

Center: Sylvester Croom (Mississippi State)

Alabama (1972-1974): Won three SEC championships and a national championship in 1973 while playing for Bear Bryant. In his senior year, he earned the Jacobs Blocking Trophy and was an All-American.

Guard: Phillip Fulmer (Tennessee)

Tennessee (1968-1971): Was a guard for the 1969 SEC champion team and on the 1970 11-1 Sugar Bowl team.

Tackle: Slan Brock (Army)

Colorado (1976-1979): He was an All-American for the Buffaloes in 1979 as well as team MVP.

Defensive End: Tom O’Brien (NC State)

United States Naval Academy (1968-1970): Was a three-year starter for the Midshipmen. Plus, if any receiver catches a deep pass against this defense, it’s all good because O’Brien could go Mark Walberg and shoot him—he was a sniper in the Navy.

Defensive Tackle: Bret Bielema (Wisconsin)

Iowa (1989-1992): Played four years as nose guard for the Hawkeyes. Even though he is the Badger head coach, he still stays true to his alma mater with a Hawkeye tattoo on his calf.

Defensive End: Al Groh (Virginia)

Virginia (1963-1965): Not only was a solid defensive end for the Cavaliers, but he was also a very good lacrosse player.

Linebacker: Randy Shannon (Miami)

Miami (1985-1988): Played outside backer for the Hurricanes. Was a starter on the 1987 National Championship team.

Linebacker: Greg Schiano (Rutgers)

Bucknell (1985-1988): A three-year starter, he led the team in tackles in his junior year with 114 and was a team captain and preseason All-American going into his senior season.

Linebacker: Pat Fitzgerald (Northwestern)

Northwestern (1993-1996): Two-time Big Ten defensive player of the year, he led the Wildcats to the 1995 Rose Bowl. He won the Bronko Nagurski Trophy and the Chuck Bednarik Award in 1995 and 1996, becoming the first two-time winner of both honors.

Linebacker: Gene Chizik (Iowa State)

Florida (1981): Was a linebacker on the 1981 Peach Bowl team.

CB: Mark Dantonio (Michigan State)

South Carolina (1976-1978): Played cornerback for the Gamecocks for three seasons.

CB: Bob Stoops (Oklahoma)

Iowa (1979-1982): Four-year starter for the Hawkeyes who was All-Big Ten, and in 1982 was co-Big Ten Player of The Year.

SS: Mike Stoops (Arizona)

Iowa (1982-1984): Have to add the younger Stoops to the secondary. He was a two-time All-Big Ten safety for the Hawkeyes.

FS: Bo Pelini (Nebraska)

The Ohio State (1987-1990): Pelini, who went to the same high school as the Stoops brothers, was a two-year starter at free safety for the Buckeyes. He was co-captain his senior year.

The Coaching Staff is made up of the four active coaches who never played college football.

Head Coach: Charlie Weis (Notre Dame)

Attended school at Notre Dame.

Offensive Coordinator: Mike Leach (Texas Tech)

Attended school at BYU.

Defensive Coordinator: Mark Mangino (Kansas)

Attended school at Youngstown St.

Special Teams: Paul Johnson (Georgia Tech)

Attended school at Western Carolina.

Why Is LeBron James Unhappy About the Mo Williams Trade?

Scott Tully — Fri, 15 Aug 2008 05:37:00 -0400

Somewhere in Beijing, LeBron James is doing a very unenthusiastic golf clap.

This clap is directed towards Cavaliers GM Danny Ferry for acquiring Mo Williams from the Bucks in a three-team trade on Wednesday, but it is unenthusiastic because this move will not put Cleveland securely in the top four of the Eastern Conference.

Boston, Detroit, and Orlando are still clearly above them and the acquisitions of Elton Brand in Philadelphia and Jermaine O’Neal in Toronto have moved them slightly ahead of the Cavaliers. Another scary thought for Ferry is the possibility of “King James” leaving after his contract is up because the GM did not put enough talent around the Akron, Ohio native.

In return for Williams, the Cavs sent guard Damon Jones to Milwaukee and Joe Smith to Oklahoma City. Milwaukee also sent Desmond Mason to Oklahoma City, and in return they received Luke Ridnour and Adrian Griffin. That leaves Cleveland getting Mo Williams, Milwaukee receiving Luke Ridnour, Damon Jones, and Adrian Griffin, and Oklahoma City getting Joe Smith and Desmond Mason.

From Cleveland’s perspective, acquiring Williams is an upgrade at the point guard position. Unlike most people, I do not think that it is a huge upgrade.

Sure, Williams put up good numbers in Milwaukee last year, averaging 17.2 points per game and 6.3 assists while shooting 48 percent from the field. He is only 25 years old and should be hitting the prime of his career.

Those are all great things, but I really think Cleveland already had a very similar player. Daniel Gibson is still only 22 years old, and poised to have a breakout season if he is putting the work in. I believe he is, because with much improvement brings an extension and his overall love for James inspires him to work hard.

Gibson also caters more to Lebron’s game. He is a spot-up shooter who shot 44 percent from three-point range last year. He also shows flashes of the ability to get to the rim, and with time will be on Williams' level.

Another negative about Williams' game is that he has to have the ball to be effective. The problem is, LeBron has the ball in his hands most of the game.

The trade also created an even bigger hole at the power forward position. By getting rid of Joe Smith the Cavs, have absolutely no scorers at the position. Ben Wallace’s skill set seems to be declining weekly, and he never has been a scorer. His backup, Anderson Varejao, gets called Side Show Bob more times in a game than he scores points.

If Ferry thinks that rookie J.J. Hickson is the answer because he had a great summer league, remember that only Al Horford last year and Emeka Okafor in 2005 have had substantial impacts at the power forward position. It will be at least three years before Hickson makes big contributions.

At first glance, it looks like Milwaukee will be taking a step backwards at the point guard position, but that is not the case. After acquiring Richard Jefferson from the Nets to go along with Michael Redd, Andrew Bogut, and Charlie Villanueva, the Bucks had no need for a shoot-first point guard.

Yes, the Bucks could have received more talent for Williams and the expiring contract of Desmond Mason—but when you are a GM sometimes the decision isn’t yours.

The Bucks are still fine at the point guard position. While Williams was hurt in the final 17 games last year, the Bucks received huge contributions from their second-round pick out of University Nevada-Reno, Ramon Sessions.

Sessions is the perfect fit for what Scott Skiles is trying to do in Milwaukee. He is a pass-first point who averaged 7.5 assists per game, while only averaging 26 minutes a night. That will complement the scorers the Bucks have perfectly.

He has good size at 6’3”, and the ability to play very good defense. He also shot the three at a 42-percent clip—which will pay big dividends when Bogut, Jefferson, and Redd get doubled.

If, by chance, Sessions struggles in only his second year in the league, the Bucks have a very respectable guy in Ridnour who also fits the pass-first mold. Ridnour’s numbers did slip last year, but he only played 20 minutes per night and was being fazed out of Oklahoma City’s future.

When Seattle was a respectable team in 2006, Ridnour had his best season, averaging 11.5 points and seven assists. I look to see more of that Luke, with his minutes going up and a strong team surrounding him. Redd and Jefferson will love his penetration, which will leave them open from three.

The acquisition of the self-titled “best shooter in the world” will probably be short lived. I don’t expect Jones to make the Bucks' opening-night roster.

Adrian Griffin will add a short spurt of defense at the three, but won’t see many minutes with Jefferson, Villanueva, and rookies Joe Alexander and Luc Mbah a Moute eating most of them.

What Sam Presti is doing in the Pacific Northwest—sorry, what Sam Presti is doing in Oklahoma City has the future looking brighter and brighter by the day.

The GM of the Oklahoma City ______ (you fill in the blank) has been making every right move since he was appointed GM in June of 2007. The past two drafts have brought him the cornerstone of their franchise (Kevin Durant) and loads of talent that fit perfectly with Durant. Presti has made trades that make him look like a genius and the GM on the other side—well, less of one.

This trade is no different. By getting rid of Ridnour and Griffin and getting Smith and Mason, Oklahoma City shaved $6.6 million dollars off their payroll. Not to mention both Smith and Mason have expiring contracts that will have Oklahoma City close to $30 million under the cap next year—and they can also be traded for picks.

That money could put them over the top, with the possibility of Kobe Bryant, Carlos Boozer, Shawn Marion, and Allen Iverson becoming free agents next year. They could also save it for Chris Bosh, Amare Stoudemire, Yao Ming, Dwyane Wade, or Lebron James in 2010.

Smith, the former number-one draft pick in '95, has bounced around the league throughout his career, but is very effective on the offensive end. I see him sharing a lot of minutes with Nick Collison, and will probably be dealt before the deadline to a contender—where he will be perfect coming off the bench.

Mason is coming home to where he played his college ball as an Oklahoma State Cowboy, and back to the franchise with which he won the dunk contest in 2001.

Mason is now 30 and has seen his minutes dip over the past couple of years. He still is very athletic, but won’t see much time on this team that is trying to get its youngsters experience.

Now, back to the saga of LeBron James' free agency in 2010. This is not the move that is going to keep LeBron in Cleveland. Many teams have more young talent than the Cavaliers, and they are setting up their contracts to have cap money cleared to pursue the star of the league.

Cleveland still has $20 million in expiring contracts—and they better make a bigger splash than this if they have any hope of keeping LeBron. They desperately need someone in the post that is going to draw some attention.

Kobe has Pau and Bynum now. Dwyane Wade had Shaq and now has Beasley. Magic had Kareem. LeBron doesn’t need someone of that high of caliber—but just a step below will get the job done. If Danny Ferry doesn’t want to see his resume up on Monster.com after the summer of 2010, he will get LeBron his man.

Usually after a deal like this, you have winners and losers. The big winner of this deal is Oklahoma City, which is usually the case in a Sam Presti trade. They freed up cap space and got rid of a guy that was not going to see the floor with them.

Cleveland slightly upgraded their point guard position, but downgraded their power forwards. So they are like a rifle shooter at the Olympics that got fifth place, but two competitors ahead of him were doping so he gets the bronze (Who dopes in shooting?). They got a medal but they are not a winner.

Milwaukee did not get the talent a trade for Williams was capable of brining in, but it frees up shots for their more heavily-compensated players, and that is a good thing in the end. This move won’t shake the earth right now, but it could in a couple of years.

Dwyane Wade Is the Third Best Player in the NBA

Scott Tully — Thu, 14 Aug 2008 21:45:53 -0400

For the past two years the debate has raged on. Who is the best player in the NBA? The consensus has usually thrown two names out there, and those names are Kobe Bryant and LeBron James.

I will agree that Bryant and James are the No. 1 and No. 2. But now that leads to another debate. Who is No. 3?

The quick and easy answer would be Chris Paul. He was runner-up in the MVP voting and took his franchise, the New Orleans Hornets, to heights no one expected them to reach.

Kevin Garnett of the champion Celtics would be another easy answer.

The problem is I am not looking for the easy answer. I want the right answer. That right answer is Dwyane Wade.

You may be asking yourself, "Is he talking about the same Dwyane Wade that only played in 51 games for the 15-win Miami Heat?" Yes, that is the man I am talking about.

Throughout this past season I was a D-Wade hater. I was telling everyone I could that he was the next Penny Hardaway. He had so much talent but would always get injured after his shoulder was ripped up.

I must admit I also didn’t show enough respect for his performance in the 2006 Finals because I thought Dallas was softer than a kid at a Laguna Beach house party.

Soft or not, he averaged 34.7 points per game and 7.8 rebounds while shooting 47 percent from the field. Those are amazing numbers. He single-handedly ripped the Mavericks' hearts out like the Mayan kingdom in Apocalypto.

When Wade has been healthy he was been a staple on SportsCenter. If you think Chris Paul's lay up against the Spurs in the playoffs this year was nice, well Wade has about 20 highlights like that.

He always knows where the basket is and goes so hard. That is why he has been so injury prone. When you play that hard, stuff happens. The crazy thing is that he was playing that hard for a team that sucked.

Numbers usually talk for players and Wade has those, too. For his career he is averaging nearly 24 points a game while shooting 48 percent from the field. The crazy thing is that he averaged seven assists a game this year. Only Allen Iverson and LeBron James put up 24 and seven.

Oh yeah, he also averages about five rebounds per game.

The main reason I am bringing up D-Wade is that people need to be ready for him this year. I have been watching every game that Team USA has played and he looks like the best player on the floor by far. He has been hitting the weights extremely hard and that has elevated his game to new heights.

He is jumping higher than I have ever seen him. He is faster than almost everyone on the court and that includes point guards Paul and Deron Williams.

Let me not forget about the nasty crossover in the game. He has crossed over defenders countless times during these games and made them look foolish.

On the defensive side of the ball he has also put in the effort. He is all over the court and is playing with the same intensity as a No. 12 seed in the NCAA tournament. Did I mention Wade is putting up all of these stats coming off of the bench. Dwyane Wade, a sixth man?

That is what I call heart. He wants the gold.

So when discussing the best in the league, don’t be afraid to throw No. 3 of the Heat in the top three. All I know is that he is in my fave five, Charles’ fave five, and USA basketball's top six.

NBA Analyst Mathew Borges contributed to this report.

Scott Tully's Top 25 College Football Preview: No. 24 Oregon Ducks

Scott Tully — Thu, 14 Aug 2008 17:52:40 -0400

The Ducks are coming off an up and down year. They finished the year 9-4 with a 56-21 blowout of USF in the Sun Bowl, even after losing quarterback Dennis Dixon to a torn ACL.

The Ducks run a sophisticated spread offense that requires a good quarterback and speed at the skilled positions.

There is no doubt that head coach Mike Bellotti has the speed and strength at the wide receiver position. Sophomore wideout Jamere Holland was clocked at 4.21 in the 40—sources close to the team say he is the fastest guy in NCAA football this year.

The question is, does Oregon have anyone that can get the rock to Holland and Oregon's 2007 leading receiver Jaison Williams? The quarterback competition in Eugene is down to two: Nathan Costa or 6'6" Justin Roper.

If the Ducks find a consistent quarterback in either of these two, look for them to compete in the Pac-10 and possibly find themselves in a New Year's Day bowl game.

The Ducks have tremendous team speed, which will be most prevalent in their swarming 3-4 defense.

My biggest questions for the Ducks to be successful: Who is going to become a leader on offense? Can they keep up the energy the whole season, no matter what injuries or adversities happen?

Even with the questions, Oregon's talent is amazing enough that they are worthy of the No. 24 spot.

Check back daily for the remaining teams.

College Football Analyst Ryan "The Riv" Thomas contributed this report.

10 Funniest Sports Interviews

Scott Tully — Thu, 14 Aug 2008 05:46:07 -0400

This is a list of sports interviews that aren't overly famous. So no Herm Edwards, "You play to win the game," no Jim Mora, "Playoffs," and no Allen Iverson, "we talking practice" interviews.

Thanks go to Lauren R. for doing the hard work in the research department.

Enjoy.

10. The San Francisco Giants PA Annoucer look-a-like interviewing Zaza Pachullia.

9. Erin Andrews interviewing Tim Tebow.

The interview wasn’t that great—but look at Hubert Davis and Jay Bilas getting juiced! Also Timmy, you respect President Bush, let’s be real.

8. Marshawn Lynch and Gaines Adames interviewed.

Marshawn explains why he is so stupidly fast, and why he he is a beast on the field. Also, at the end of the interview, he explains why Simeon Rice so good in Madden.

7. Chad Johnson on PTI.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=x9b8p610fBAChad

He is such a fool. He states at the end of the video that he gets Michael Phelps in the pool. Sorry Chad this isn't "Pride" and Terrance Howard and Bernie Mac aren't your coaches.

6. Michigan Woman’s Basketball coach Kevin Borseth going off on one.

5. Andrew Bynum drops the F-Bomb during a postgame interview.

4. Jim Boeheim in a postgame interview, sounding off about a student newspaper.

3. Chad Johnson explains that he's leaving, after Carson Palmer's bad knee.

2. Slava Medvedenko interviewed for the first time. Classic.

1. Rick Schwartz interviewing Marshawn Lynch at Super Bowl.

“This grill straight from the town”. “I seen one of them orange people”.

Chinese Officials Make Girl Hide Behind Camera During Opening Ceremonies

Scott Tully — Wed, 13 Aug 2008 08:09:52 -0400

Leave it up to China to keep a girl from showing her face for the world to see during the Opening Ceremonies. That’s right, 7-year-old Yang Peiyi, was kept out of the camera and only her voice was heard while singing “Ode to the Motherland” because they had 9-year-old Lin Miako lip sync the song. The reason why Peiyi was left out of the performance was because Chinese governments officials felt she wasn’t cute enough for the performance. I guess this shouldn’t be any surprise, with China trying the make the Beijing Olympics the best of the best. Sometimes though, there is trying to make things perfect and then there is taking it too far. Sure, Peiyi isn’t the cutest child around and Miako is a famous child actor in China, appearing in many television and newspaper ads, but still the Chinese Olympic organizers went way too far.

The part I find amazing is if America tried to pull a “Macgyver” move like this in the 1996 Atlanta games, there would be such a bigger uproar. Say America had snaggle tooth Jewel sing a song with Britney Spears in her prime ("Oops I Did It Again" Britney) lip syncing, America would be considered so classless. Sure, everyone would rather look at Spears, and her family does know how to lip sync better then Pete Rose betting the ponies, but it’s wrong. If a girl’s voice is good enough to sing your country’s song, she is good enough to appear on camera.

The only question I have for China, is how with over a billion people you can’t find a cute girl in your eyes who can sing as well?

So, China keep faking your opening ceremonies, having 8 year olds win you gold in gymnastics, getting slapped by 21 in hoop, dominating the “Balls of Fury” competition, and controlling your people so all your woman are willing to get married to 45 year old American creepers.

Tyrone Willingham-The Most Overrated Coach In College Football

Scott Tully — Tue, 12 Aug 2008 09:29:30 -0400

Tyrone Willingham is the most overrated coach in college football. It’s not good when you’re a head coach and the best thing you are known for is getting fired. Sure, the way he got canned at Notre Dame wasn’t handled the best way, but I don’t blame Notre Dame at all.

He is so overrated as a head coach. He has a career 76-76-1 record and after his first three seasons at the University of Washington, he is 11-25. Let me stress I don’t dislike Willingham. I have met him before, he is very nice, he can recruit well but he just is an overrated coach.

His one bright spot for him, which got him the job at Notre Dame, was taking his Stanford team in 2000 to the Rose Bowl (where they lost to the Badgers from Wisconsin 17-9). Let’s remember though that 1999 season the Pac-10 isn’t what is today.

USC was down and their rival, and end of season “The Big Game” CAL, was the Tampa Bay Buccaneers of the 1980s. Plus, they didn’t have to face Oregon who finished with a better season record than them.

The Cardinal made the Rose Bowl going 8-3 on the year and, after the bowl loss, finished the season at 8-4. Sure, Stanford made the most of their weak conference schedule, by only losing one PAC-10 game, but they did lose to San Jose St at home. That should automatically make you ineligible for the Rose Bowl.

That Rose Bowl wasn’t Willingham’s only Bowl loss, he is, in fact, just 1-5 in Bowl games. It is something that also shows one is a bad coach.

The main job for a coach making a bowl game is to prepare his team well with the month given, keep the players focused, and develop the younger guys on the team for the next season. A 1-5 record shows he may be able to bring in talent, but getting them to play at a high level isn’t happening. In his 13 seasons, he only has six winning seasons

Sure, he won the Home Depot Coach of the Year Award (decided by ESPN and ABC analysts) in 2002 at Notre Dame, but I still don’t get how. Yes, he won his first eight games but they finished the year with three losses, including an embarrassing bowl loss to North Carolina St. in the Gator Bowl, which added to the long drought of bowl wins for Irish fans.

How Jim Tressel (who won the Paul "Bear" Bryant coach of the year Award) who went undefeated and beat the almighty Miami Hurricanes in the BCS game, or even Pete Carroll who finished with a better record than Willingham and prison raped Notre Dame in the Coliseum 44-13, didn’t get the award, I don’t understand. Shows again why I don’t even watch ESPN because they don’t know what there talking about sometimes.

If Willingham doesn’t have a winning season this year at UW, you can be pretty sure he will get the boot again

Tyrone Willingham

1995 Stanford (CA) 7 4

1996 Stanford (CA) 7 5

1997 Stanford (CA) 5 6

1998 Stanford (CA) 3 8

1999 Stanford (CA) 8 4

2000 Stanford (CA) 5 6

2001 Stanford (CA) 9 3

2002 Notre Dame (IN) 10 3

2003 Notre Dame 5 7

2004 Notre Dame (IN) 6 5

2005 Washington 2 9

2006 Washington 5 7

2007 Washington 4 9

Totals = 76 wins-76 loses-1 Tie Winning Percentage .500 Bowl Record=

1995- 19-13 Loss to East Carolina (Sandra Bullock went there) (Liberty Bowl)

1996- 38-0 Win over Michigan St (Sun Bowl)

1999 Season- 17-9 Loss to Wisconsin (Rose Bowl)

2001 Season- 24-14 Loss to Georgia Tech (Seattle Bowl)

2002 Season- 28-6 Loss to North Carolina St (Gator Bowl)

Who Would Spend $150 For A Bryant "Big Country" Reeves Jersey?

Scott Tully — Mon, 11 Aug 2008 07:15:23 -0400

I think I have seen it all now.

A Bryant Reeves Vancouver Grizzlies just got sold on eBay for $150.

Yes, the same Bryant Reeves who had that nasty rash under each arm and was a bust after having a solid career for Eddie Sutton at Oklahoma St.

This is why other countries hate Americans. People in other countries make $150 a year and we, as Americans, are purchasing overweight centers’ jerseys for the same amount.

Now, some of you bleacherreporties may be asking yourself how would Scott Tully know about this auction? And I will admit I was looking to purchase it as well.

Difference is, I, at least, have some sanity and put a limit at $20 to purchase a jersey like this. I wouldn’t allow myself to spend more knowing that wearing something in public like a “Big Country” jersey would have me looking nastier then a resident of Huntington, West Virginia.

Forget making the movie starring Matthew McConaughey “We are Marshall.” Michael Moore should have done a documentary “We are Marshall: Home of the nastiest people in America.”

The winning bidder was “Louis9930,” and I, going Dateline NBC on him, sent him a message asking what he is doing so successful in life that he can justify dropping 150 bones on a Reeves jersey. “Louis9930” declined to be commented for this article. However, I will give Louis9930 three excuses for buying the jersey:

1) He makes so much money $150 is nothing and really enjoyed Reeves throughout his short NBA career and wanted to support the former Cowboy star;

2) He lives with his mom in her basement and needed to add to his jersey collection of JJ Stokes on the San Francisco 49ers, Patrick Ewing on the Orlando Magic, and Picabo Street’s 1998 Gold Medal Nagano spider web design bib; or

3) Its Bryant Reeves himself trying to buy up all remaining jerseys in existence and burn them so fans don’t have remember he signed a six year, 60 million dollar contract. I guess that explains why Vancouver had to relocate to Memphis: when you have crackerjacks making decision like that.

So lastly, “Louis9930” if you or anyone who knows him is out there, please message me and justify why you bought this jersey. I won’t be able to continue on with life without knowing this answer.

All-Time Baseball Roster Using Movie Characters

Scott Tully — Fri, 08 Aug 2008 05:46:12 -0400

These are the best fictional baseball players from movies, no real MLB players. So, no Shoeless Joe from “Field of Dreams”, Dennis Quaid from "The Rookie", and no Roger Maris and Mickey Mantle from “61*”.

Starting Pitching Rotation

#1 - Steve Nebraska (Brendan Frazier) - “The Scout”

The guy was pumping 100 on the bump. Plus, if this is a NL team, he could hit as well.

#2 - Ryan Dunne (Freddie Prinze Jr.) - “Summer Catch”

Even though he used a Rawlings that was probably bought at Wal-Mart, this southpaw could deal. Plus, Jessica Biel would be around the clubhouse.

#3 - Billy Chapel (Kevin Costner)- “For Love of the Game”

Any guy who attempts to pitch a perfect game with Vin Scully on the mic at Yankee Stadium is a winner.

#4 - Mel Clark (Tony Danza) - “Angels in the Outfield”

Sure, he is the worst actor in American film history, smoked with the best of them, and was going to die a couple months after his last outing, but Clark did have a huge heart and an Angel on his side.

#5 - Amanda Whurkitzer (Tatum O’Neil) - “The Bad News Bears”

She could carve on the bump and you know she is tough if she could marry John McEnroe.

Set-Up Man - Henry Rowengartner (Thomas Ian Nicholas) - “Rookie of the Year”

He could pump over 100mph as a 12 year old. Plus, he had veteran pitcher Chet Steadman to help him out and his pitching coach was the thief in Home Alone 1 & 2. Only reason why he doesn’t get in the starting rotation is his mind may be on eating Tara Reid out like he did in American Pie. Oh, Henry has grown up.

Closer - Rick “Wild Thing” Vaughn (Charlie Sheen) - ‘Major League”

He threw hard and had attitude, coming out of the California prison league.

Catcher - Crash Davis (Kevin Costner) - “Bull Durham”

He was the solid veteran that will keep the pitching staff together. Will have the occasional pop in the bat as well.

1B- Lou Collins (Timothy Busfield) - “Little Big League”

Sure, he didn’t believe in baseball in “Field of Dreams” but the veteran first baseman had a solid glove and a great bat, even if Ken Griffey Jr. will rob his homerun in the last game. Maybe he should have stopped trying to “spit game” at Billy Haywood’s mom and hit the weight room.

2B - Mickey Dominguez (Wilmer Valderrama) - “Summer Catch”

If you sleep with the mom of you summer host family, you are starting for my team.

3B- Ray Mitchell (Stoney Jackson) - “Angels in the Outfield”

He had a big time bat and was a gold-glove caliber third baseman. He was also part of one of my favorite lines in the movie: “Hemmerling for Mitchell? Go back to Cincinnati!”

SS - Benny “the Jet” Rodriguez (Mike Vitar) - “The Sandlot”

He had so much passion for the game and was a leader. It takes a lot leadership to get Hamilton Porter’s fat-ass to catch nine. Plus he would be able to get out of any “pickle” with the PF Flyers on.

LF - Stan Ross (Bernie Mac) - “Mr. 3000”

He was one hit short of 3000, I would say that’s team worthy. He would keep the locker room loose with his jokes, even if you can’t understand half the things he is saying.

CF- Bobby Rayburn (Wesley Snipes) - “The Fan”

As long as we keep psycho Robert De Niro out of the way, he will be perennial MVP candidate.

RF - Roy Hobbs (Robert Redford)- “The Natural”

He used a “Wonder Boy” bat. What more do you want out of your cleanup hitter.

DH - Pedro Cerrano (Dennis Haysbert) - “Major League”

He could crush the fastball and perform voodoo on the team but couldn’t hit a breaking ball. At least he makes up for it by getting us a deal on All-State insurance.

Pinch runners -

Marvin (Danny Walcoff) - “Angels in the Outfield”

Yes, I’m getting out of hand, this was the kid who George Knox (Danny Glover) told to run home when he got a hit and dumb ass Marvin really ran home.

G-Baby (DeWayne Warren) - “Hardball”

Sure, he didn’t get his own jersey and he got shot but the kid could run and jump over position players. He had the hear, for sure, to steal a bag for this team late in the game.

Pitch hitter - Jack Banning (Charlie Korsmo)- “Hook”

Even though his dad was Peter Pan (Robin Williams) and didn’t go to his little league games, he dropped absolute bombs at the plate in Neverland for Hook’s team (Dustin Hoffman).

Manager - Jimmy Dugan (Tom Hanks)- “A League of Their Own”

IF he can manage that beyond-annoying switch hitter Rosie O’Donnell, he can manage anyone.

Bench Coach - George Knox (Danny Glover)- “Angels in the Outfield”

He was convinced by a kid (Rodger) there where angels helping his ball club; he can have this team believing if a losing streak occurs.

Bullpen Coach - “Conor O’Neil (Keanu Reeves) - “Hardball”

He will be chatting it up with the bullpen on how to properly bet on an NBA game.

General manager - Billy Heywood (Luke Edwards)- “Little Big League”

He had more knowledge then any of the other mangers, but a kid who is still eligible for a Catholic priest can’t be my manager.

Beat writer- Terence Mann (James Earl Jones) - “Field of Dreams”

He had a great love for the game and was an amazing writer.

Owner - Ray Kinsella (Kevin Coster)

He was convinced to give up his farm to build a baseball field. Don’t think the Marlins’ owners are putting in that sacrifice.

Team announcer -Bob Uecker- "Major League"

“Juuuuuust a bit outside…”

Team Doctor -Archibald "Moonlight" Graham (Burt Lancaster) - “Field of Dreams”

If the team is playing in Milwaukee , he could at least get a hot dog or bratwurst out of a choking player. We may even give him an at bat.

Umpire- Frank Drebin (Leslie William Nielsen)- “The Naked Gun”

Any umpire that could hit the moonwalk is my type of up. A little better then Joe West’s punch out call.

The All-Time Movie Football Roster

Scott Tully — Wed, 06 Aug 2008 21:42:01 -0400

All-Time Best Football Roster Using Movie Characters

QB - Willie Beamen (Jamie Foxx) - "Any Given Sunday"

Not only he was very athletic, but was cocky enough to control this all-star roster. In addition, he would be great off the field cracking jokes (Booty Call) and singing for the team (Ray).

2nd String QB - Johnny Walker (Anthony Michael Hall) - "Johnny Be Good"

Trust me, he isn’t a nerd from his "Breakfast Club" days.

3rd String QB - FBI Special Agent John "Johnny" Utah - "Point Break"

Was a star at Ohio St. before a career-ending knee injury.

RB - Megget (Nelly) - "The Longest Yard"

Had great quickness and agility. Plus he will only sport one eye black stripe on his check, something only a real stud could pull off. You just need to watch out for the St. Lunatics causing a distraction in the locker room.

2nd strong RB - Darnell Jefferson (Omar Epps) - "The Program"

Nelly gets the nod just for the fact that Darnell may have his mind on Halle Berry too much. Plus, Darnell was prone to go Tiki Barber in '98 and not hold onto the ball.

WR - Rod Tidwell (Cuba Gooding Jr.) - "Jerry Maguire"

Very cocky, wanted the rock, and wanted money. What more could you ask for in today’s age receiver?

WR - Charlie Tweeder (Scott Caan) - "Varsity Blues"

He lacked in size but made up for it in hands and heart. Not many kids in high school are going to steal a police car with two girls in the back. Was also a pimp, going at it with his sex-ed teacher in the strip club.

WR - Phillip Elliot (Nick Nolte) - "North Dallas Forty"

Even though he was addicted to painkillers, this veteran receiver had great hands, and would be a valuable possession receiver for this team. The party scene that he loved may hurt his performance, but his experience balances it out.

TE - Brian Murphy (David Denman) - "The Replacements"

He had first round talent, but didn’t go that early in the draft because he is deaf. It may be a good thing for the big, strong, and fast tight end because he won’t have to listen to all the entertainers that are on the team.

Tackle -Louie Lastik (Ethan Suplee) - "Remember the Titans"

Such a large body, he would anchor the right tackle position. Not quick enough for the left tackle position but makes up for it in the locker room with his Motown singing ability and witty jokes to teammates.

Guard - Bill Bob (Ron Lester) - "Varsity Blues"

Sure he was the one who caused All-American quarterback Lance Harbor (Paul Walker) to have his career ended to injury, but he came back strong to give solid protection to Chance Mock. Plus, he proved he has hands on the hook and ladder.

Center - Manumana (Peter Navy Tuiasosopo) - "Necessary Roughness"

The huge Samoan was a force on the line and a great leader to pick up any blitzes.

Guard - Rudy Zolteck (Michael Zwiener) - "Little Giants"

Rudy was such a fat ass. He is the only hero I know that would pack puff cheetos and a peanut butter & jelly sandwich in his helmet. Sure, his speed wasn’t there in the forty:

Rudy: "How'd I do, coach?"

Coach Kevin O’Shea: "I don't know son, I don't have a sundial. Now get back in line."

But he gets the starting job on this team after ex-Washington Huskies star Steve Emtman teaches him the proper technique. Emtman was on the John Madden’s bus with Emit Smith, Bruce Smith, and Tim Brown as they got lost in Urbania, OH on their way to Canton, OH.

Tackle - Bud-Lite Kaminski (Abraham Benrubi) - "The Program"

Sure he was goofy looking, with the overalls he would wear out to the bars, but the guy could block. He also was a great trash-talker and didn’t put up with anyone talking to him.

DE - Julius Campbell (Wood Harris) - "Remember the Titans"

His dad told Coach Boone outside his house that his son was an All-American defensive end. He was the heart and soul of the defense. He also delivered one of the best lines in the movie when he addressed Bertier during an argument during camp: "Attitude reflects leadership, Captain."

DT - Andre Krimm (Sinbad) - "Necessary Roughness"

This teacher turned player was a real force with a tough must win attitude.

DE - Steve Lattimer (Andrew Bryniarski) - "The Program"

This juice ball was a monster. When he wasn’t throwing up ridiculous weight in the weight room, bashing his head through car windows, and attempting to rape girls, he was a beast on the field. With his face painted like Chris Hovan on the Vikings and Buccaneers, his intimidation was not matched by anyone else.

OLB - Becky "Ice Box" O’Shea (Shawna Waldron) - "Little Giants"

She was a great linebacker and was the heart and soul of the Giants. She knew it was a mistake to ever pick up a pom-pom and came back to help the Giants beat the over-talented cowboys.

A side note: she looks very solid now. Look her up. You will be surprised what the tom boy turned into.

MLB - Charles Jefferson (Forrest Whitaker) - "Fast Times at Ridgemont High"

Even though Jefferson has a really bad lazy eye and is overweight, he makes up for it with his smarts and toughness. He stays really angry on the field, which is perfect for a middle linebacker.

MLB - Bobby Boucher (Adam Sandler) - " The Waterboy"

What else is there to say other than the guy was a absolute stud. He could lay hat with the best of them.

OLB - Gerry Bertier (Ryan Hurst)- "Remember the Titans"

As long as he doesn’t run stop signs after the games, he will be fine because on the field he protected that left side, while Julius protected that strong side.

CB - Stefen Djordjevic (Tom Cruise) - "All the Right Moves"

Even though he and Coach Nikerson (Craig T. Nelson aka, plays a coach in every role he has) didn’t always see eye-to-eye, he still was a very good player. He had a lot of drive to go to college at Cal Poly, San Luis Obispo, because of the bad way of life in his dying Pennsylvania steel town.

CB - Trumaine (Wesley Snipes) - ‘Wildcats"

Not only could he intercept passes, but, if a car needed to be hot-wired, he had those attributes as well.

SS - Spike (Sam Horrigan) - "Little Giants"

He was the white version of the kid in the Under Armour commercials. He was so yoked for a "12" and had the attitude to match.

FS - Petey Jones (Donald Faison) - "Remember the Titans"

Sure, Petey played running back as well for Coach Boone, but he really became valuable to the team when defense coordinator Yoast asks him to play safety and cover the other team’s best player. The problem as of now is Petey has put on a lot weight eating too many hospital meals on the hit tv show "Scrubs."

Kicker - Lucy Draper (Kathy Ireland) - "Necessary Roughness"

She could kick and wouldn’t be that bad to look at either.

Punter - Nigel "the leg" Gruff (Rhys Ifans) - "The Replacements"

The ex-Welsh soccer player could kick and drink with the best of them. The guy could kick while smoking, what’s not to love. Plus, he claims "I’m wiry."

Place Holder - Radio (Cuba Gooding Jr.) - "Radio"

I know a low blow, but had to do it. He could hold with the best of them.

Kick Returner - Forest Gump (Tom Hanks) - "Forrest Gump"

If he could return kicks for the University of Alabama, he could return kicks for this team.

Head Coach - Herman Boone (Denzel Washington) - "Remember the Titans"

He would be perfect for coaching this diverse team. He would get all these egos to play together.

Offensive Coordinator - Coach Klein (Henry Winkler) - "The WaterBoy"

He showed with his green book that he could draw up plays with the best of them. With Boucher telling him to imagine how to draw them like he did back in the 1970s, he will be having this team score like the 1999 Rams.

Defensive Coordinator - Molly McGrath (Goldie Hawn) - "Wildcats"

She could get a bunch of kids with attitude and turn them into winners. Plus, she knows how to condition with the best of them. She will have this defense playing with heart.

Head Cheerleader - Claire Bennet (Hayden Panettiere) - "Heroes"

Not only is she a cheerleader on the hit show Heroes, but she was Coach Yoast's daughter in the Remember the Titans, and, trust me, from that movie she knows her football.

Spygate Camera Man - Mr. Hanon (Gene Whittington) - "Little Giants"

He was the black dad of Hannon "Hot Hands" with the huge video camera from the early 1990s that actually had a VCR tape on the side. The thing took up his whole shoulder in the sides.

Ten Burning Questions for the College Football Season

Scott Tully — Tue, 05 Aug 2008 18:13:17 -0400

Here is a list of 10 questions for the upcoming college football season.

1. Who wins in a 40-yard dash: Kansas head coach Mark Mangino or Maryland head coach Ralph "The Fridge" Friedgen?

2. Is there any place better on game days for good-looking girls than what "The Grove" at Ole Miss produces?

3. It's 3rd-and-10 in the fourth quarter of a close game. The quarterback must throw the ball. You can select any QB in the nation. Who do you pick to convert?

4. Could Tim Tebow start at linebacker in the WAC?

5. True or False: Of all the big-time programs, Michigan has the ugliest-looking girls on game days.

6.Would you rather have your team lose in a New Year's Day bowl or win the Emerald Nuts Bowl in San Francisco?

7. Better offensive mind: June Jones of SMU or Mike Leach of Texas Tech?

8. You can have any QB in the Big 12 for this season only. Who do you select?

9. If O.J. "The Juice" Simpson became the recruiting coordinator at USC for next season, do they still get the best recruits in the country? (He would be the only one on the staff allowed inside the recruits’ homes.)

10. If Brett Favre went back to Southern Mississippi for this season, do they go to a BCS game?

All-Time Fictional Basketball Players From Movies

Scott Tully — Mon, 04 Aug 2008 12:36:21 -0400

This list includes all fictional movie characters that were raw at basketball. So, that is why you will not see Michael Jordan from Space Jam, Dr. J from the Fish That Saved Pittsburgh, Shaq and Penny Hardaway playing for the Dolphins in Blue Chips, and Ray Allen as Jesus Shuttlesworth from He Got Game (who hooked up with those college coeds on his recruiting trip at Tech University, with Rick Fox as the "assistant coach").

1. Billy Hoyle (Woody Harrelson) - White Men Can’t Jump

Billy will go down as one of my favorite characters in sports movies. He was a degenerate gambler who hustled street ballers for cash. What more would you want from a guy? Even with this life style, he was able to pull Gloria (Rosie Perez), which is why I guess he was on the courts all day. With that annoying voice, I would be out as long as possible too. So, even though you can’t jump Billy, you can hit a half court hook shot on the Sudan basket for the team.

2. Lewis Scott (Damon Wayans) - Celtic Pride

Scott was cocky, had a shot, and was clutch. Not your typical guy that would fit the Salt Lake City crowd mold, but No. 2 on the Jazz won over his fans with his great play. In addition, Scott was all about making as much money possible, appearing in countless commercials like Oscar Meyer. Not only was he winning a NBA title, but he had to do so with two filthy degenerates going Gary Sinise and kidnapping him like Mel Gibson’s son. "Give me back my son."

The best part was, when he was locked in the degenerates’ apartment, he had to listen to one of their classic voices. Hum Daniel Stern, who was a Wet and Sticky bandit in the Home Alone 1&2. For those who have way too much knowledge, like me, he was also the voice of the narrator in the hit-show The Wonder Years.

3. Quincy McCall (Omar Epps) - Love and Basketball

Quincy is straight up the man in this movie. Sure he never had a solid NBA career because he went Willis McGahee in the BCS championship to his knee on a dunk, but he got to witness his wife Monica ball in the WNBA.

Quincy was a stud at USC who took the OJ Mayo route and left after his freshman season to enter the draft. Even though his father, Dennis Haysbert, who is a black president in the hit show 24, a violent swinger as Pedro Cerrano in Major League, and, if any of the people on this list need car insurance, he can help them out with All State as well.

Monica fell for Quincy even after he shattered her heart by DUNKING on her, then mean mugged her while she was on the floor. Plus, after he took his shorts off after the two were playing basketball in a dorm room, she had to jock.

4. Antoine Tyler (Kadeem Hardison) - The Sixth Man

This was a hard one: do you put the dead guy on the list or his younger brother? Sure, the older brother Tyler was better when he was alive but can I really put a guy who is a ghost on the list. Well, I have to; he was just way too raw. Not only was he dominant when he was alive, but he took the Washington Huskies to the NCAA championship, while carrying them as a ghost.

He made his little brother, Marlon Wayans (not the gay one in Scary Movie) a legitimate player on the court, but also off the court in helping him pull that red-bone reporter. Plus, when Antoine could play for a coach who was the father in the Tom Arnold classic Carpool, you got to show love. Lastly, to my Bay Area sports fans, the championship game was played at the Oakland Coliseum.

5. Kyle (Duane Martin) - Above the Rim

Kyle had to be thick skinned and deal with a lot of adversity, like TuPac getting him caught in the drug game or that Shepard (same guy who was Derrice Bannock in Cool Runnings, who was coached by fat ass Uncle Buck for the Jamaican Bobsled team) who was trying to go out with his mom. So, even with these outside events, they were battle tested and played like a real New York hoop should, not like that jokester Stephon "I wear $20 starberry’s" Marbury.

6. Jim Carroll (Leonardo DiCaprio) - The Basketball Diaries

What can I say; he was a straight-up stud on an unbeatable New York prep school team. The only problem was he would steal from opposing teams’ lockers and was addicted to heroin. The good thing was that Carroll wasn't on that powerful Blue Magic that Denzel was slinging in American Gangster. If he was on that, there is no way his neighborhood role model, "Reggie," would be able to bring him back.

7. Jamal Wallace (Rob Brown) - Finding Forester

Not only could he ball on the court but he had some real skill with the pen. Especially when your tutor is an ex-prisoner on "The Rock." Hum Sean Connery. Brown was also a Richmond Oiler in Coach Carter where Samuel L. Jackson made him go to work on the suicide drill.

8. Derek Vinyard (Edward Norton) - American History X

Any guy who can play for who gets the right to play on a public court, the whites or blacks, has some heart. Especially when your teammate is fat Ethan Suplee, who was Louie Lastik from Remember the Titans and a bully in Boy Meets World.

9. John Tucker (Jesse Metcalfe) - John Tucker Must Die

Not only was my boy John Tucker pulling any girl he wanted, including that side burn wearing Ashanti, but he had some game. When you are hitting 360 dunks while sporting thongs from Fredericks and spitting game at Brittany Snow from American Dreams, you are kind of the man.

10. Jim Chitwood (Maris Valainis) - Hoosiers

Probably the best pure shooter on the team, Chitwood would be there in the clutch for this team. Plus, if this team needed some alcohol after a post-game win who better to ask than the town drunk, Dennis Hooper?

Coach - Edwina "Eddie" Franklin (Whoopi Goldberg) - Eddie

My girl Whoopi would be such a solid coach for this team. She can control the egos, and if they ever get on a losing streak, it’s no problem at all because she’s a nun. That’s right; Sister Mary Clarence from Sister Act would have the team always playing with the Lord on its side.

Warning To Kids: Take Off Your Cleats!

Scott Tully — Tue, 29 Jul 2008 11:47:16 -0400

I swear if I see one more kid wear his or her cleats inside a restaurant I will take them off and slap both the kid and parent in the face with them.

You aren’t an athlete if, after a game, you don’t take your spikes off and put on normal shoes, or what real bosses do, flip-flops.

That doesn’t mean Crocs either because I would rather have you wear cleats in a restaurant then those gay sandals. Fix your life parents. Your kid is a joke if he wears Crocs.

The only people I will allow to wear Crocs are nurses and white women over 55 who like to work on their garden.

I mean a baller like me not only would take the football or baseball cleats off, but I would even take my hoop shoes off after the game. When you had the black Scottie Pippen’s shoes with “AIR” in big writing on side you better take them off. Yes the same shoes Brendan Fraser rocked in George of the Jungle (Why I’m known as Knowledge).

Maybe it’s just soft kids in the suburbs who do this because if I ever did that in the Bay Area growing up, I would get jumped not only for looking like a little girl, but because my cleats would go for a cool $65 on East 14^thin Oakland.

Not only are you destroying the restaurant floors I eat at, but you look like a bigger square then the kid in Little Giants who drew up the "The Annexation of Puerto Rico.”

I know I shouldn’t be so hard on the kids because, let’s face it, kids are who their parents are. So, the same kids wearing their cleats inside have parents who played right field in little league, got cut from freshman hoops, and are 40-year-old whack jobs and still bring a baseball glove to a baseball game.

These kids have moms who are Croc wearing, mini-van driving, suburban losers who look like Jason Kidd on his SAT when asked about sports. They automatically think their kid is the next David Beckham or Mia Hamm and constantly complain about why their kid is riding the pine harder than Adonal Foyle at a Warriors game.

These are the same moms who make excuses for their kids, saying it’s the coaches fault, and then proceed to buy them $120 cleats (yes, the same damn cleats that they will wear in the restaurants) which will supposedly make them a star. What these over-protective and simultaneously over-weight moms fail to do is take a good honest look at their kids, tell them to go out, practice, and get better because their level of play just is not cutting it and their dad is tired of them bringing home participation trophies instead of winning a title.

Instead we are raising a nation of a bunch of spoiled, cleat-wearing softies who will never amount to anything: A) because they wear cleats inside restaurants; B) because their parents keep making excuses for them; and C) wonder why their boys will never be able to talk to a girl at a bar someday and their girls will never get invited to the prom.

So moms start hitting the step machine harder at the gym, lay-off the caramel frappacinos while your husband is working all day, and tell your kids take your cleats off. They will last longer and your kid will eat after the game in style.

If any of you have little brothers, sisters or cousins make sure they do this because if I witness this act one more time I’m about to go OJ Simpson on a white mom and Bobby Knight on their kid.

(Chris Russi, Bay Area sports enthusiast, contributed to this article on this growing epidemic)

Why ESPN's Stuart Scott Has a Messed Up Eye

Scott Tully — Thu, 17 Jul 2008 09:06:15 -0400

I would say it is pretty safe to say that most of you degenerates on bleacherreport watch ESPN and SportsCenter an on a regular basis. Some of you filthy degenerates probably watch the 3,4,5, and 6am shows thinking maybe that top ten will change or that tool-bag Tim Kurkjian has a different take on his report of guys who have the most career strikeouts in the 7th inning, vs. lefthander pitchers born after 1985. With that, only the degenerates of all degenerates know why Stuart Scott’s right eye is so messed up compared to his left eye.

Scott, the North Carolina Alum, who has many catch phrases from “cool as the other side of the pillow” and “Can I get a witness from the congregation?” has been a SportsCenter anchor since 1995.

Scott’s eye is the way it is because he decided to put the cape on back in 2002 at the New York Jets training camp. Then Jets head coach, Herman Edwards, invited Scott onto the field. Instead of watching the action from sideline like any non-athlete should do, Scott decided it would be cool to participate in some drills. Sure, one of the best perks of working for ESPN is going to events that most fans can only dream of or watch form afar. So, Scott decides to do some wide receiver drills.

In the drill where the jug machine shoots balls out and receivers have their back to the machine, most turn around quickly and catch the ball. Unfortunately for Scott, he has hands worse than Ohio St. and Oakland Raider tight end Ricky Dudley. Scott wore the ball right off the eye. He needed to get it removed and that is why he has a glass eye.

I’m not trying to dog Scott too hard because he is battling cancer right now but, come on, if you’re not a NFL player, get off the field. Have your dreams like all the fans you talk to each and every night, just don't try to live them out.

College Football: Top 10 Over/Under Win Total Locks of the Year

Scott Tully — Wed, 16 Jul 2008 05:50:02 -0400

The following 10 teams are locks to win over the assigned win total Vegas gave them.

For any degenerate out there that doesn't understand the concept, here is an easy example. Let's say the sports book puts the over/under for a team at nine games. If the bettor puts money on the over, that team must win 10 games for the better to win money.

Now if the bettor bets the under, that team is only to win eight games or fewer. If the team wins nine games, it's a push and the money is given back.

So here are the locks of the year.

10. Missouri

Over/Under Odds: 10 wins

What’s not to like about the Missouri Tigers this year? Returning Big 12 Offensive Player of the Year Chase Daniel (4,306 yards, 33 TDs) and first team Freshman All-American Jeremy Maclin (2,776 all-purpose yards) will give opposing defenses all the trouble they can handle.

The Tigers have perfected the spread offense and have the best captain to run the offense in Daniel. With a shifty running back in Derrick Washington and four returning offensive linemen, the Tigers will light up the scoreboard.

Although not much of the success the Tigers had last season was credited to their defense, they return eight starters, including their top three tacklers—linebacker Sean Weatherspoon (130 tackles, first team All-Big 12), free safety William Moore (117 tackles, second team All-American), and linebacker Brock Christopher (106 tackles).

The Tigers begin the year with four games at home or on a neutral site. Out of their 12 regular season games, only four are away. The toughest task on the road for the Tigers this year will be at Texas on October 18. The Tigers do not play Oklahoma in the regular season and are hoping to win the feeble Big 12 North.

Turnovers played a key role in the Tigers' success last season at plus-13. If the Tigers find themselves with a negative turnover margin, they may struggle a bit.

Projected Record: 11-2 (one game over assigned total)

9. Florida

Over/Under Odds: 10 wins

Look for QB Tim Tebow to repeat as the Heisman winner and win his second BCS National Championship. Tebow is not only a threat through the air, but will beat you on the ground as well.

The spread attack offense implemented by head coach Urban Meyer wreaks havoc on opposing defensive coordinators because you basically pick your poison. Either you let Tebow sit in the pocket and pick you apart, or you bring the pressure and let him evade all of the defenders with the option attack.

It also helps to have USC transfer RB Emmanuel Moody in the backfield to take some pressure off Tebow and let him pound out his 1,000-yard season.

The Gators have very talented receivers, led by 2007 first team All-SEC selection Percy Harvin and JUCO transfer Carl Moore from Sierra College in Rocklin, CA, who was rated the top JUCO WR prospect in the nation. Meyer got Moore to go to Florida by also offering his girlfriend a gymnastics scholarship.

The Gators on defense will be led by junior LBs Brandon Spikes and Dustin Doe, who have a great knack on the football field.

Although the Gators travel to Tennessee, Arkansas, and Florida State, they get LSU and Miami in the Swamp, while playing Georgia in the Biggest Cocktail Party (you can only imagine Bruce Pearl in attendance) in Jacksonville.

With all that said, the Gators have one of the most talented teams in the country, but with the power of the SEC and two tough non-conference foes in Florida State and Miami, we will see if the Gators eat or not.

The Gators' special teams will make plays all year long with KR/PR Brandon James. Newcomers for the Gators in 2008 to have an impact for the team will be LB Brendan Beal, DB Will Hill, DL Troy Epps, and OL Matt Patchan.

Projected Record: 11-2 (one game over assigned total)

8. Clemson

Over/Under Odds: 9.5 wins

The Tigers undoubtedly have the best backfield in the nation this year with James Davis (1,101 yds, 10 TDs) and C.J. Spiller (809 yds, 3 TDs), otherwise known as Thunder and Lightning, leading the way.

Clemson returns eight starters on both offense and defense who look to be in the top categories of rushing and passing on both sides of the ball.

WRs Aaron Kelly (1,081 yds, 11 TDs) and Tyler Grisham look to get loose in the secondary for senior QB Cullen Harper, who has matured over the past few years. Cullen may split time with red-shirt freshman Willy Korn, who has 4.6 speed and a rocket for an arm.

Clemson is considered one of the most athletic teams in the nation with their size and speed, but a cause for concern for the Tigers this year will be their O-Line. The Tigers lose four starters from last year, and one of those holes will be filled by a redshirt freshman.

Even though the Tigers may struggle a bit on the O-Line, they can't be getting any worse by practicing every day against their own D-Line, which ranks in the top 10 in the nation, led by standout freshman Da’Quan Bowers, Ricky Sapp, and Jarrett Crittenton.

The secondary for the Tigers will be a strong point with all four men returning, led by CB Chris Chancellor.

The Tigers benefit from a relatively soft non-conference schedule and open up with their first five games at home or on a neutral site. I’m sure The Citadel and South Carolina State will be barnburners at Clemson.

Their toughest task will be back to back games on the road in the first weeks of November, first going to Boston College, and then visiting Tallahassee the next week to square off with the Seminoles in the Bowden Bowl.

Newcomers in 2008 for the Tigers who will have an impact are OL Antoine McClain, OL Dalton Freeman, TE Dwayne Allen, and DB Spencer Adams.

Projected Record: 11-2 (one-and-a-half games over assigned total)

7. USC

Over/Under Odds: 10.5 wins

Although the Trojans only return four starters on the offensive side of the ball, it seems that every year they get the top recruits, such as Joe McKnight last season. McKnight awed the crowd all year with his tremendous ability to burst through holes and make big plays, like the 80-yard TD run in the Rose Bowl against Illinois.

Mark Sanchez will be under center for the Trojans and will try to get the ball to his playmakers as often as possible. WRs Patrick Turner and Vidal Hazelton are big, physical receivers who will cause problems for undersized DBs.

The Trojans defense will be its strong suit and will be anchored by LBs Rey Maualuga (first team All-Pac-10) and Brian Cushing. FS Taylor Mays is a ball-hawker who has great NFL potential.

The toughest task on the year for the Trojans will be the home contest with Ohio State, but the advantage the Trojans boast is that they have a bye the week before and after the game.

The Pac-10 will be very competitive this year, but the Trojans get both Cal and Oregon at home, with their toughest road trips coming at Oregon State or Washington State.

For the most part the Trojans have a relatively easy schedule, mainly because of the home games against Ohio State, Cal, and Oregon. With the suffocating defense the Trojans own, it will be tough for any team to score off the Trojans.

The list of the top newcomers for the Trojan is endless, but the ones expected to fill holes immediately are OL Matt Kalil, WR D.J. Shoemate, TE Blake Ayles, and DL Nick Perry.

Projected Record: 12-1 (one-and-a-half games over assigned total)

6. Ohio State

Over/Under Odds: 10 wins

When looking at Ohio State’s roster, not much has changed from last year's BCS National Championship Game appearance against the LSU Tigers, where the Buckeyes lost 38-24. The loss marked their second consecutive BCS National Championship defeat, the year before losing to the Florida Gators, led by the dynamic duo of QBs Chris Leak and Tim Tebow.

The Buckeyes return 10 starters on offense and nine starters on defense, leaving only three spots to be filled in the starting lineup. One of those spots will be filled by highly touted freshman Mike Adams, on the offensive side of the ball at right tackle.

The Buckeyes return Heisman hopeful Chris “Beanie” Wells to anchor the backfield, with composed senior Todd Boeckman under center.

Just when you thought the Buckeyes couldn’t get any better, their defense will once again yield the fewest amount of yards in the nation, led by senior LB James Laurinaitis and lockdown CB Malcolm Jenkins.

The toughest task of the year for the Buckeyes will be a showdown at the LA Coliseum against the USC Trojans on September 13. If the Buckeyes get a win against the Trojans, look for them to go undefeated in Big Ten play and make their third consecutive trip to the BCS National Championship Game.

The Buckeyes also catch a break this season with Purdue, Penn State, and Michigan, all of whom are expected to do well this season, making the trip to the Horse Shoe.

Incoming freshmen that will have an important impact for the Buckeyes this coming season include QB Terrelle Pryor—although he may not get as many snaps as he would like—OL Mike Adams, OL Mike Brewster, WR DeVier Posey, and LB Etienne Sabino.

Projected Record: 12-1 (two games over assigned total)

5. Auburn

Over/Under Odds: 9 wins

The Tigers survived an up and down season last year, starting 1-2, going to the Swamp and knocking off the Gators, and finally beating Clemson in the Chick-fil-A Bowl and ending the year at 9-4.

After the schedule Auburn faced in 2007, along with the QB play of Brandon Cox (Tiger fans should be on cloud nine that he graduated), I would be shocked if they did not win 10 games this year. Last year the Tigers traveled to LSU, Florida, and Georgia, which could be argued are the toughest places to play. No other team can say they did that.

In last year’s bowl effort against Clemson, sophomore QB Kodi Burns' stellar play gave hope to Tiger fans for this coming year to see how far he can take the team. Along with Burns on offense, powerful RBs Ben Tate and Brad Lester will pound out first downs, take a good number of carries, and punish teams with their hard-nosed style of football.

Auburn installed a spread offense two weeks before their bowl game against Clemson last year. They looked a little confused in the beginning stages of the game, but when the more athletic Burns got the bulk of the snaps in the second half, the system seemed very smooth, and Clemson seemed to be on their heels on defense.

Auburn returns nine men on offense, including all five starting O-Linemen and WRs Rodgeriqus Smith and Montez Billings, who are deep threats and can make plays.

On the defensive side of the ball, not too many names will jump out at you, but the Tigers always have athleticism and speed. Most notably, DE Antonio Coleman and CB Aairon Savage fit the mold for the Tigers defense.

Although the SEC is by far the toughest conference in college football, Auburn will be the team that edges by the likes of Tennessee, Georgia, and LSU, mainly because those three teams all travel to Auburn, where the Tigers are 47-10 over the past seven years.

Newcomers for the Tigers in 2008 include DL Raven Gray, RB Reggie Hunt, WR Harry Adams, and LB Da’Shaun Barnes.

Projected Record: 11-2 (two games over assigned total)

4. South Carolina

Over/Under Odds: 8 wins

I know, I know: Three SEC teams in my forecast, and I did not mention Tennessee, Georgia, or LSU—but here is my reason. Georgia has the third toughest schedule in the nation, LSU has a redshirt freshman under center with an inexperienced backfield, and Tennessee travels to UCLA, Auburn, Georgia, Vanderbilt, and South Carolina.

But enough about those teams—let's focus on the Gamecocks, who may surprise some people this year. South Carolina returns 17 total starters, seven on the offensive side and 10 on the defensive side.

The defense for the Gamecocks will be very strong and must stay strong for the Gamecocks to hold any value in the tough SEC. The Gamecocks will be led on defense by LB Jasper Brinkley (first team All-SEC, 2006) and Rodney Paulk.

All of the Gamecocks' secondary will return, and the defense will be in the top 10 in the nation in passing yards allowed. CB Captain Munnerlyn (first team All-SEC) and FS Emmanuel Cook will look to make big plays with interceptions and fumble recoveries and contribute to the defense’s success.

On the offensive side of the ball, QB Chris Smelley will need to step up and fill the void left by Blake Mitchell. Although Smelley and Mitchell split time last year, both struggled at points in their given time to perform. WR Kenny McKinley has the best talent of any WR in the nation and will try to make Smelley’s job easier with acrobatic catches.

The toughest task on the year for South Carolina will be the trip to Gainesville, FL and the Swamp in the second-to-last game of the year. The Gamecocks catch a break this year as they host Arkansas, Georgia, LSU, and Tennessee.

The Gamecocks' success relies heavily on Smelley—if he moves the chains, look for the Gamecocks to move up in the polls.

Projected Record: 10-3 (two games over assigned total)

3. Fresno State

Over/Under Odds: 8.5 wins

In the 12 years as the head coach of Fresno State's football program, Pat Hill has never won the WAC conference title. This is the year Hill gets his title, as 10 offensive starters return to a team that finished 9-4 last year and knocked off a talented Georgia Tech team in the Humanitarian Bowl.

Led by QB Tommy Brandstater and potent RB Ryan Mathews (900 yards, 14 TDs), the Bulldogs will put up points in bunches. WRs Marion Moore, Bear Pascoe, and Seyi Ajirotutu can all make game-changing plays.

All but one of the starting O-Linemen from last year are returning, so Brandstater will be given the time to pick apart defenses and let his playmakers make plays. The O-Line will be the strongest part of the team, and if they open up holes for Mathews, he will have a very successful year.

Although the Bulldogs lose top tackler Marcus Riley (132 tackles), they return seven starters, three of which are junior defensive backs.

Fresno is known for its speed and athleticism and finds a way to win bowl games, winning four out of their last five.

The Bulldogs do not have an easy schedule—they travel to Rutgers in the first week and two weeks later host Wisconsin, who have a great rushing attack in P.J. Hill and an experienced O-Line. Two weeks after Wisconsin, the Bulldogs travel to UCLA, then host the always dangerous Hawaii offensive attack the following week.

In the final regular season game, the Bulldogs trek to Boise for a much-anticipated battle with the WAC championship possibly in the grasp. If the Bulldogs put some wins together in the early part of the season, they will run the table and beat Boise.

Projected Record: 11-2 (two-and-a-half games over assigned total)

2. Oklahoma

Over/Under Odds: 10 wins

The Sooners are led by gunslinger Sam Bradford, who was the most efficient passer in college football last season, boasting 36 TD passes to only eight interceptions. It helps to have receivers of the likes of Juaquin Iglesias (907 yards) and TE Jermaine Gresham (11 TD receptions), both of whom are returning.

Bradford is also elated to welcome back all of his starting offensive line, which is the main reason why I believe the Sooners will be very successful this year. The O-Line is massive up front, averaging 6'5" and 317 pounds. Last year the line opened holes for 191 rushing yards per game and only allowed 14 sacks all season.

Led by LG Duke Robinson and LT Phil Loadbolt, the Sooners O-Line has combined for 130 starts, which is the most in the NCAA this year. Look for sophomore RB DeMarco Murray to led the NCAA in rushing yards this year, especially with the holes that will be opened up for him.

The Sooners are stacked on defense with DE Auston English, LB Ryan Reynolds, and S Nic Harris. DT Gerald McCoy received Big 12 Defensive Freshman of the Year honors, and he is expected to have a huge year as well.

The Sooners' schedule is in their favor. The front-runners to contend with Oklahoma in the Big 12, Kansas and Texas Tech, both make the trip to Norman. Like every year, the Red River Shootout against Texas will be held in Dallas at a neutral site.

You may be wondering about Missouri, but the Sooners and Tigers do not meet in the regular season, hopefully setting the stage for an epic Big 12 conference title game.

Besides the neutral site matchup against Texas, the toughest game on the road for Sooners will be at Washington. Look for Washington to surprise some people this year with second-year QB Jake Locker under center and Tyrone Willingham in his fourth year at the helm.

I know many fans are wondering how that will be their toughest road game, but take a look. The rest of the games on the road for the Sooners are Baylor, Kansas State, Texas A&M, and Oklahoma State. I may be a Pac-10 fan, but I know the Sooners have the number on those teams.

Texas Tech in Norman on November 22 will be a game to keep tabs on.

Newcomers for the Sooners who look to have an impact immediately will be LB J.R. Bryant, DL R.J. Washington, RB Jermie Calhoun, and WR Jameel Owens.

Look out for the Sooners this year! They will be crowned BCS National Champions.

Projected Record: 13-0 (three games over assigned total)

AND THE 2008 OVER/UNDER LOCK OF THE YEAR IS (Degenerates, put the kids' college fund on this team):

1. Utah

Over/Under Odds: 8.5 wins

If the Utes can get by Michigan in the first week of the season at the Big House, they will run the table the rest of the reason and cause problems for the BCS in yet another year. Utah is in a non-BCS conference (Mountain West) but has the opportunity to put some wins together with a strong offense and players returning from an injury-plagued team last year.

The Utes return eight starters on offense and six on defense. Senior QB Brian Johnson will conduct the offense, but the bulk of the load will be carried by RB Darrell Mack (1,204 yards, 12 TDs), who can deliver a blow to any opposing tackler.

The Utes run a spread offense with WRs Brent Casteel and Brandon Godfrey being heavily relied on to catch short to intermediate passes and move the chains.

K/P Louie Sakoda has unlimited range and can pin opponents deep in their own territory.

The backbone of the Utes defense will be their secondary, led by CB Brice McCain, CB Sean Smith, and FS Robert Johnson. DL Paul Kruger and NT Aaron Tonga will secure the defensive line and try to clog up holes so LB Stevenson Sylvester can make plays.

As mentioned earlier, the toughest task for Utah will be their first game at Michigan. In conference play, the Utes travel to Air Force, Wyoming, New Mexico, and San Diego State. Utah hosts UNLV, Colorado State, and BYU.

A non-conference game that may give the Utes trouble is Oregon State, but the game will be played on Utah’s home turf.

Newcomers for the Utes looking to have an impact are WRs David Reed, Aiona Key, and DL Dave Kruger.

Projected Record: 13-0 (four-and-a-half games over assigned total)

My New Favorite Athlete-Matt Jones. Finally a White Guy...

Scott Tully — Thu, 10 Jul 2008 05:12:09 -0400

The events that happened in Fayetteville, Arkansas earlier this morning involved a new hero.

Jacksonville Jaguars wide receiver Matt Jones faces a felony drug charge in his former college town after police found him cutting up cocaine with a credit card.

Finally, a white stud athlete gets busted for drugs. I'm so sick of just hearing about black athletes who get caught. Sure, black athletes get involved in more illegal activities (allegedly), but still it makes my day when a white guy gets caught.

As a fellow white athlete, I get excited because Jones’ actions today will gain me respect in Magnolia Projects in New Orleans. I also must applaud ESPN for reporting the news so black sports fans don't cry about the news never reporting on how white athletes get in trouble... unless you're talking about steroids.

I've been a Matt Jones' fan long before he was catching passes at the Jaguars. This might shock you, but all three of the Jags' quarterbacks are black. Some teams haven't had one in the history of their team.

Jones was great was a white QB playing for Arkansas as a both a passer and runner. He also was a solid athlete on the hardwood as well. He was drafted by the Jaguars as a WR because of his 4.3 40 time. That is unheard from a 6'4" blonde white guy.

The 25 year-old -- and two other former Arkansas football players -- were inside a Toyota SUV in Fayetteville just after 12:40 a.m. Thursday when officers approached. Officers saw a card covered in a white powder in Jones’ lap as he used a credit card to scrape the cocaine, a police report said.

Officers opened the door and ordered Jones to put his hands in the air. According to the report, Jones kept his left hand out of view, forcing at least one officer to draw his handgun.

Maybe Jones should have hit a couple lines before some games last season. Jags coach Jack Del Rio had become increasingly frustrated with Jones’ demeanor and work ethic, making him inactive for three games.

But really, I don't understand what the big issue about the use of drugs and our athletes.

Jeff Weaver blows trees with the best of them and Eric Chavez does cocaine all the time too. People need to realize they are like any other big-shot profession (lawyer, stock broker, doctor) wealthy people party big and do drugs. Yes Jones’ should have picked a better time and place, like a Las Vegas Night Club. Now, it's just sad and embarrassing to his family, Jags fans and Arkansas fans.

SO THANK YOU MATT JONES FOR HITTING THE SLOPES HARDER THEN A FAMILY OF FOUR ON VACATION IN ASPEN