Bleacher Report - Articles by Ron Johnson

Upset Alert: Undefeated Teams and the Art of Sneakiness in College Football

Ron Johnson — Fri, 06 Nov 2009 16:12:18 -0500

When is the last time we all seen an undefeated team finish that way? How about the last time we saw a #1 remain #1 at the end of the college football season? It's been a while for both, but this year we are destined to see one, the other or both happen in January. But there is always bumps in the road for each team that eyes those brass rings. With only a select few that remain undefeated this season, which team will be looking to take them down from the ranks of the undefeated? After looking at their remaining schedules, here's a look at the teams that could be the ultimate bracket buster come Selection Sunday.

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WWE RAW Rewind: The Head Games Continue...

Ron Johnson — Mon, 21 Sep 2009 23:30:47 -0400

RAW opens up in Little Rock, Ark., with the arrival of the Gateway Entourage, the Bella Twins and tonight’s Guest Host, Cedric the Entertainer. With that, the show goes live with the arrival of DX!

Triple H w/Shawn Michaels vs. Cody Rhodes w/Ted DiBiase

Following their usual opening promos, and after giving their resume about Hell in the Cell, the physicality begins. Thanks to a distraction, Cody gets the upper hand.

Cody takes the fight from pillar to post, which is exactly where Cody’s shoulder is introduced to not once, not twice but three times. Triple H locks in a Crossface.

Back in the ring, Cody has a modified camel clutch and follows it up with a swinging neck breaker. DiBiase lands a cheap shot on Triple H as Cody distracts the ref.

Rhodes continues the punishment with a moonsault but is unable to get a three count. But as Cody tries to goad Michaels into a fight, Triple H starts bouncing back.

On the outside, Legacy takes out Michaels, but as Triple H prepares for a Pedigree, DiBiase sprints in with a steel chair to cause the DQ. Legacy continues the punishment with a Cross Rhodes delivered to The Game.

As the two try to finish off The Game, Shawn bounces back in with a sledgehammer that sends them sprinting away from trouble.

Following a preview of the WWE Championship Match at WWE Hell in A Cell, Lillian introduces tonight’s Guest Host: Cedric The Entertainer.

Cedric starts off with a series of jokes in regards to the second-and third-generation superstars…topping it off with the illegitimate son of a jackass: The Miz!!

Following the wisecracks, Santino comes out and decides that he wants to do stand up. As Cedric prepares to leave, Chavo comes out and becomes the biggest pun of Cedric’s jokes.

Chavo decides to blame the Guest Hosts for his losing streak with Hornswoggle. He then challenges Cedric to a match. Santino chimes in and accepts the battle for Cedric.

In the back, The Miz still has possession of Kofi’s United States Championship…for about five seconds as Kofi comes out of nowhere and drops Mizanin to regain possession of his stolen gold.

Evan Bourne vs. The Miz

Miz comes out showing his disdain for losing his stolen property. So he decides to take his punishment and frustration out on the high flyer.

But Bourne’s ingenuity allows him to break the pressure momentarily. Miz regains the advantage with a set of cheap shots before returning to the Double Underhook Boston Crab.

Miz reapplies the Crab, but Bourne manages to break free of the submission and begins to mount a comeback. Miz bounces back and delivers the Reality Check. Bourne begins to fight back with a hurracanrana before going up top to deliver the Airbourne.

But Miz slithers out of the way to deliver the Skull Crushing Finale to pick up the win over the high flyer. It’s amazing what this village idiot can do when he actually shows he can wrestle.

In the back, Randy Orton decides to give his Legacy partners the evening off mainly because he thinks that he can handle this simple contract signing. Also, just in case you weren’t paying attention, Cedric The Entertainer will face Chavo Guerrero tonight.

FYI: In two weeks, it’s the SmackDown Tenth Anniversary Special on MyNetwork TV.

Intermission: Contract Signing for WWE Championship Match @ Hell in a Cell

Jerry Lawler plays the role of mediator for these two combustible forces as Randy Orton is the first to make his way to the ring. As Orton paces in the ring with his trademark constipation scowl, the WWE Champion, John Cena, meets his Hell in a Cell opponent eye to eye. The Champ comes out to a raucous crowd in Little Rock.

Lawler begins by informing Orton that he can A) face Cena in Hell in a Cell or B) automatically give up his championship rematch. With that, Orton signs the contract and orders The King to leave the ring.

He turns his attention to the WWE Champion and informs him that he is more dangerous than ever. He also says that he will do whatever it takes to get his WWE Championship back.

After speaking his peace, Cena shows his cooler head by showing a video montage of Orton uttering the two words at Breaking Point: “I QUIT!!” Cena goes on to inform him that he has taken severe abuse from Orton at Breaking Point.

As he signs the contract, he informs Orton that if he doesn’t win this match, he’ll never get another shot at Cena again. He then drops the comedy and goes right to the seriousness by informing him that when that cell door gets locked, he will destroy Randy Orton.

Orton then informs Cena that he’s about to put him through hell right now, and with that, The World’s Largest Assclowns make their way to the ring.

Cena tries to fight his way out of the assault, but the numbers are too much for him…until MVP and Mark Henry make their way to the ring to even the odds.

The RAW Guest Host comes on the Titan Tron and informs all six men that they will fight each other tonight in a six-man tag team match.

Mickie James vs. Beth Phoenix

With Alicia Fox, the new #1 Contender for the Divas Championship, looking on, two old rivals add another chapter to their long rivalry. On the outside, Mickie delivers a Lou Thesz Press to the outside.

But thanks to a distraction from Fox, Phoenix gets control and the victory over the Divas Champion.

After the bell, Fox decides to interfere once more with her Fox Trot to the back of Mickie’s neck. The former wedding planner has made it clear that she will be the Divas Champion in due time.

United States Championship

Kofi Kingston vs. Jack Swagger

This match never took place mainly because of The Miz coming back out and trying to steal the US Title again. Swagger jumps out of the ring, drops The Miz and takes the gold himself.

With that, a match is made for Hell in a Cell: The Miz vs. Jack Swagger vs. Kofi Kingston for the United States Championship.

Chavo Guerrero vs. Cedric The Entertainer

Following Chavo stomping on Cedric’s trademark hat, Cedric disappears under the ring. As the match progresses, two other masked superstars make appearances as Ced’s partner, Big Nasty delivers the punishment, and Hornswoggle applies the Equalizer with the Cedric Splash.

Cedric returns from the under the ring to pick up the victory over Chavo before dancing it up with his accomplices.

Special RAW Moment

Lilian Garcia thanks the fans, the staff and the superstars of the WWE for their love and support over the past decade. Following a chant and a series of tears, the fans show their appreciation as she regains her composure and prepares for her final main event with the WWE.

Six Man Tag Team Warfare

The World’s Largest Assclowns & Randy Orton vs. The World’s Strongest Ballers & John Cena

Before the match, Big Show informs Randy Orton that if his team wins tonight, John Cena will face all three of them in a Gauntlet Match. With that, John Cena makes his way to the ring…followed by the World’s Strongest Ballers.

Jericho and Cena start the match, but Orton uses the duo to his advantage as they ambush the WWE Champion. Back in the ring, Orton begins to take Cena apart piece by piece. After picking him apart, Orton tags in the World’s Largest Nugget. After a few shots, he brings in the biggest sufferer of PMS. But Cena bounces back with a belly to belly before tagging in MVP.

MVP comes in and drops the knee before delivering the Ballin’ Elbow Drop on Jericho. But thanks to Orton, Show manages to slow the pace to their advantage. Show comes in and continues the punishment with a huge clothesline before bringing in Orton. Orton applies a huge headlock followed by a knee to the skull.

Jericho returns to the ring and begins to taunt MVP. But his taunting comes back to haunt him as MVP dodges the Rodeo Launch. After delivering the Mental Dissection, Orton makes a huge mistake by shoving MVP into his corner to get the tag to Mark Henry.

But thanks to Jericho, Orton delivers the RKO to Henry to pick up the win and force Cena to run the Gauntlet next week against the trio. The three celebrate the victory as RAW goes off the air.

Next Week on RAW: WWE Champion John Cena battles The World’s Largest Assclowns and Randy Orton in a Gauntlet Match…Plus Rev. Al Sharpton will be the host for next week’s broadcast!

WWE Breaking Point: The Resurrection of the Montreal Screw Job

Ron Johnson — Mon, 14 Sep 2009 11:19:47 -0400

Last night, I was enjoying some pretty good football games. Then my buddy Liz sent me a message about last night's WWE Breaking Point.

I may not be 100 percent active on B/R, but I am still active in the wrestling world. After checking out the recap, there were several things that drove me crazy about what happened last night.

And I'm ready to vent them all in one swift article.

WWE Unified Tag Team Championships

Over the last two months, Chris Jericho & Big Show aka The Walls of Show-icho aka Beauty and The Beast aka Christina and Big Slow have reigned as WWE Unified Tag Team Champions.

Unfortunately, it comes with a price.

I'm starting to wonder what the WWE writers are thinking. You set Cryme Tyme up for their first possible run as Unified Tag Team Champions...only to make it nothing more than another stepping stone for the two newest egos in WWE to run over.

Then we come to last night's match. Again, Big Show provides the equalizer, and Christina...I mean Chris...gets the victory over Mark Henry and MVP??? Is the WWE making it clear that minorities will never make it past the hump that has been obvious for years?

In fact, Mark Henry was the last minority to hold a world title when he became ECW Champion. Booker T was the last minority to hold the World Heavyweight Championship. Quick pop quiz: Who was the last minority to hold the WWE Championship?

Answer: The late, great Eddie Guerrero.

So two months of the minorities having a chance to win tag team gold is thrown to The Pit of Bad Ideas, and we're stuck with a guy with frosty hair and a 7-foot schmuck with no legitimate wrestling skills whatsoever.

Okay WWE, if you're going to treat your minorities like this, just release them and let them go to TNA.

Why do they think Lashley left? It wasn't just the travel. It was the lack of respect.

And don't anyone dare bring up Kofi Kingston being the US Champion. The minorities deserve a legitimate run as champions. But for some reason, there is only one minority holding gold at any given time.

Mysterio and Kingston shared this distinction until a few weeks ago. Now CTC and The World's Strongest Players will have to settle for being nothing more than the stepping stones of Chris Jericho and The Big Show?

But that wasn't enough for the WWE...they took it a step further.

World Heavyweight Championship

CM Punk is the worst heel ever in the WWE...next to Hollywood Hogan. He looks more like an activist and preacher than World Champion.

And yet, they turned Teddy Long into Vickie Guerrero in one night. They tried to sell Long as Vickie and Punk as Edge.

FYI WWE: It's not working.

For starters, why put Undertaker back in the main event just to have him win/lose/get hosed by Long and Punk. I don't care about this whole probationary storyline they are trying to feed us.

You once again denied the fans of Montreal a chance to get over the original Montreal Screw Job involving Shawn Michaels, Bret Hart, WCW and Vince McMahon.

But it got even worse when the second MSJ came at the expense of The Rock, Hulk Hogan and Big Daddy Vince.

So in retrospect, if the WWE doesn't like Montreal, why keep going there. Everytime the WWE invades Montreal, Quebec, Canada, they deliver countless amounts of controversy.

But last night's controversy was indeed the worst they have ever delivered. You don't want your main eventers to win matches? That's fine. Here's a solution: Don't put them in the matches. Simple.

But if your objective is to keep attempting spoon feeding CM Punk to us, just stop now. I would much rather have Edge come back and send him to the cleaners.

Jericho as World Champion? Good idea. Matt Hardy as WC? Good idea. CM Punk as World Champion? Dumbest idea ever? CM Punk, the so-called heel, so-called Straight Edge World Champion? Even worse.

But hey. Maybe there is some people who like the idea of Cryme Tyme and World's Strongest Players being minorities and not champions. Maybe there is some people who like the thought of Chris Jericho and Big Show being practically unstoppable. Maybe there are those who like the idea of CM Punk being able to defeat The Undertaker...

And maybe those people should wake up from their Medium-like fantasy and realize that those thoughts are as ridiculous as any Celebreality show on VH1...and yes, that includes you, Daisy De La Hoya.

To Be Continued...

Ducks-Broncos: Blount Resurrects Some Classic Backlash

Ron Johnson — Fri, 04 Sep 2009 11:49:12 -0400

It must be college football season. The fans are going crazy, the coaches are hoping for a better result than last year, and to top it all off, the ending was bigger and better than the beginning.

Meaning that someone wore their emotions on their sleeve last night.

Oregon tailback LeGarrette Blount brought up nightmarish flashbacks following Oregon's 19-8 loss to Boise State. Following the game, Boise State DE Byron Hout tapped Blount on the shoulder and mouthed some words to him.

Blount's response, a haymaker that dropped Hout to one knee.

But it got worse following the punch.

After getting restrained by teammates and coaching staff, Blount began shoving those very same teammates before taking the fight to the Broncos fans. If it wasn't for the police and the coaching staff brave enough to hold him back, we would have had another Ron Artest incident on our hands.

Now according to Brent Musberger, this was Hout's fault more than Blount's. This is the same Musberger who blamed the Florida Gators for overreacting following a loss to Florida State in The Swamp a few years ago. For those who don't remember, allow me to refresh your memory.

Following Florida State's victory over the Gators a few years ago, the Seminoles added insult to injury by stomping on the "F" in the middle of field. This prompted Gators players to retaliate and bum-rush the Seminoles.

Following the melee, Musberger said that the Gators should call Bobby Bowden and apologize for not showing good sportsmanship. Now he's at it again with this incident involving Blount. I wonder what he would have said about Artest's little melee in Detroit?

Would he have told the city of Detroit to apologize to Artest for not showing good sportsmanship?

In any event, this one incident will continue to be discussed throughout the college football season. It's not only because Blount's Heisman hopes have been possibly shattered because of his poor performance and poor sportsmanship, but it's also because if the NCAA doesn't show the proper repercussions for his actions, they will never live this situation down.

So who was really the bad guy in this situation? Was it Hout for being a little overzealous? Was it Blount for being a spoiled sport? Or was it the fans who kept trying to goad him into an all out riot?

You be the judge, sports nation. You be the judge.

WWE RAW Rewind: American Dream to American Nightmare

Ron Johnson — Mon, 31 Aug 2009 23:15:23 -0400

RAW goes live at the Joe Louis Arena in Detroit, Michigan with the announcement that Kofi Kingston will face Jack Swagger, Carlito and The Miz for the United States Championship.

On top of all that, Big Show will face Mark Henry one on one, and Chris Jericho will face MVP.

With that, The American Dream makes his first appearance to the fans of Detroit Rock City.

Dusty Rhodes takes a trip down memory lane as he remembers when he was inducted into the WWE Hall of Fame in this very city. He makes it clear that he’s proud of his son Cody Rhodes, despite his transgressions over the past few months.

He then announces that at Breaking Point, John Cena will face…Cody Rhodes for the WWE Championship.

Why?

Because his son will challenge Randy Orton…for the WWE Championship…tonight!!! And the special referee for this match will be…John Cena!!!!

With that, Randy Orton makes his way out to the ring to confront his boss for the night.

Orton tries to make it personal by saying that Dusty is doing nothing more than winning back his son’s love by giving him this opportunity. As Orton prepares to kick the elder Rhodes in the skull, the younger Rhodes makes his way down to the ring.

Cody comes out and makes it clear that he will indeed accept the challenge of his father and become the youngest WWE Champion in history.

With that, Orton leaves the ring. In the back, Beth Phoenix, Kelly Kelly, Alicia Fox, Gail Kim, Jillian and Rosa Mendes are hearing the rules of tonight’s Six-Diva Battle Royal.

American Dream Six-Diva Battle Royal to Determine the No. 1 Contender for the Divas Championship

Kelly Kelly vs. Gail Kim vs. Beth Phoenix (w) vs. Rosa Mendes vs. Alicia Fox vs. Jillian Hall

As the bell rings, all six Divas go at it with the opportunity to face Mickie James later on tonight on RAW. Phoenix is trying to eliminate Kelly Kelly, but thanks to an inadvertent bump, Rosa Mendes becomes the first to get tossed.

Following the Fox Trot, Alicia is eliminated by Gail Kim. Kim and Phoenix are battling it out after Kelly is eliminated.

Kim starts firing back on Hall as Phoenix continues to regain her composure. Kim looks to be out, but manages to keep from getting eliminated. She hangs on the ropes and launches her over with a huracanrana, but before she can regain her composure, Beth returns and boots her out of the ring to win the Battle Royal.

So tonight, it will be Beth Phoenix vs. Mickie James for the Divas Championship.

Following the Battle Royal, Chris Jericho makes his way out for his match…but not before bashing the WWE Universe that is represented in full force in Detroit.

Chris Jericho vs. MVP (Winner: Christina Jericho)

The bell rings, and the slug-fest begins as Jericho tries to punk Porter. Jericho gets control and starts to exploit the lower back of MVP, obviously setting him up for a Walls of Jericho attempt.

But MVP starts fighting back with right hands followed by a clothesline and belly to belly. As he goes for the Miami Beached, MVP almost gets caught with the Walls. But MVP bounces back with a big boot to the mouth.

Following a clothesline off the ropes, MVP guns for the Drive By, but Jericho ducks and sends Porter to the outside with a springboard dropkick.

Back on RAW, Jericho’s gloating leads to MVP getting control with a kick to the head and the BALLIN’ Elbow Drop.

As MVP goes for the Playmaker, Jericho counters into the Walls of Jericho, only to get caught in a small package. But Jericho delivers the Code Breaker out of nowhere to get the victory over his Breaking Point opponent.

In the back, DX and Dusty Rhodes are plugging the WCW and Dusty Rhodes DVDs, as well as the New and Improved DX DVD while Hornswoggle is heading to the ring for his Texas Bullrope Match.

Special Texas Bullrope Match

Chavo Guerrero vs. Hornswoggle (Winner: Hornswoggle)

In one of the most “utterly” ridiculous moments in RAW history, Chavo (dressed as a cow) is once again facing Hornswoggle (aka Mini-JBL). But the official tells Chavo that he has to put on a Cow helmet to complete the costume. The two men are in a tug of war before Horns grabs the tail of Cowvo and rides him like a rodeo.

Chavo loses the hat and goes up top for the Frog Splash, but Evan Bourne comes in to provide enough distraction to allow Hornswoggle to tie the cow up and get the win over Chavo.

But after the bell, Chavo tries to get some payback, only to get dropped with a quick kick from Bourne followed by a Cow Tipper aka Tadpole Splash.

After the fun, Big Show makes his way to the ring for his match against Mark Henry.

Battle of the Giants

Big Show vs. Mark Henry (Winner: Mark Henry via DQ)

From the start, Show tries to intimidate Henry, but Mark shows that he isn’t afraid of going toe to toe with the World’s Largest Athlete. The two men go back and forth from pillar to post trying to get control of each other.

But Show comes out of nowhere to deliver a Spear to Henry, before delivering those massive right hands that he uses to eat Subway Lite Sandwiches.

But Henry starts to breathe fire and manages to drop Show with a shoulder block and the Splash. Henry gets caught with an elbow, but Show takes out the metal turnbuckle, shoves Henry into it and gets disqualified for his troubles. After knocking out Henry, Show walks away wondering why he got DQ’d.

In the back, Cody is getting ready when Orton comes in and tries to talk him out of it once again. In the process, Swagger, Carlito, The Miz and Kofi are heading to the ring for the US Championship Fatal Four Way Match.

Fatal Four Way for the WWE United States Championship

Jack Swagger vs. Carlito vs. The Miz vs. Kofi Kingston (Winner: Kofi Kingston)

As the Miz slithers out of the ring, Kofi takes the fight to both Swagger and Carlito. But Swagger bounces back with a belly to belly. After Carlito takes an early exit, The Miz returns into the ring just to get sent over the top. Then Kofi decides to fly himself as he launches himself over the top rope and splashes all three of his contenders.

Back on the program, Swagger has the single leg Boston Crab applied as The Miz slithers around the ring to pick his spot. Miz returns to deliver The Reality Check on Swagger, but Kofi manages to save his championship for the moment.

An aggressive Miz goes for the Real World, but Carlito cuts it off. Carlito gets caught, and Kofi delivers a double Cross Body. Swagger returns to the ring and delivers a pair of running splashes followed by the Sooner Splash.

After some hesitation, Swagger gets dropped. Kofi goes back on the offensive and delivers a Double Boom Drop on Swagger and Carlito.

The Miz delivers the Skull Crushing Finale on Swagger, Miz gets dropped with the Backstabber, but Kofi manages to return long enough to deliver the Trouble in Paradise to pick up the win and retain the United States Championship.

WWE Divas Championship

Beth Phoenix vs. Mickie James

James goes on the offensive with a quick headlock, but Beth shows her strength with a tree of woe smash in the corner. Beth dropkicks her into the steel post followed by a shoulder slam into the corner.

She follows it up with a shoulder breaker. But Mickie starts to show the heart that won her the gold in the first place, as she delivers the dropkick and the head scissor takeover.

But Beth bounces back and launches her into the barricade before rolling her back into the ring. Then, Mickie counters the Phoenix Slam with the Mickie-T to pick up the stunning victory over The Glamazon.

In the back, DX and Dusty are still discussing the Rise and Fall of WCW DVD when Triple H brings up The Shockmaster. All of a sudden, a voice appears out of nowhere followed by the appearance of The San-Master and Double A Arn Anderson as the voice.

Don’t Forget: This Friday on SmackDown, The Undertaker returns to make his first appearance on the brand since WrestleMania to confront World Heavyweight Champion, and his Breaking Point opponent, CM Chump…I mean, Punk.

Back on RAW, John Cena is making more hype for tonight’s main event match. He then focuses on Breaking Point and makes it clear that: HE WILL NOT QUIT!!!

WWE Championship Main Event (Special Referee: John Cena & Dusty Rhodes is in Cody’s corner)

Randy Orton vs. Cody Rhodes

Before the match even begins, Dusty lets it be known that there is nothing that he would not do for his son. With that, Legacy and Orton ambush Cena.

It doesn’t take long before DX comes down and tries to make the save. But Dusty makes his presence felt again by knocking out Triple H with the boot.

With that, Legacy and Dusty Rhodes enjoy the anarchy they unleashed…that is until Orton drops Rhodes with an RKO.

Cody looks to get some payback on his mentor, but instead, he backs off of the challenge. Orton enjoys his carnage, the fans cheer for Cody to fight Orton and RAW goes off the air with more questions than answers…

Mainly, whose idea was it make Bob Barker next week’s Celebrity Guest Host????

This Week in Pro Wrestling: Will Anarchy Return?

Ron Johnson — Mon, 31 Aug 2009 13:18:19 -0400

Pro Wrestling has been a slight stalemate as of late. But despite all that, did anyone happen to see just how hot TNA President DIxie Carter was? Or the fact that she was sending signals to Bobby Lashley during their interview? RAW had a great ending with Vince McMahon joining forces with longtime rivals DX to take out Legacy. William Regal used his hired muscles to get another shot at Christian's ECW Championship. And the WWE Universe saw the final curtain call of Jeff Hardy. So what does this week have in store for the Wrestling Universe?

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WWE SummerSlam Switchback: The Darkness Returns!

Ron Johnson — Mon, 24 Aug 2009 09:47:10 -0400

Last night left more questions than answers. From McMahon's countless attempts to dethrone Randy Orton to a Phenom-enal return at the end of the night, Summerslam was a night of hits...and misses. With that, here's the rewind from last night's Biggest Party of the Summer! Before Summerslam begins, DX is up to their usual antics as they play around with the preview. After breaking the tape, DX tries to fix the problem. Following an unsuccessful attempt to fix it, Triple H makes it clear that the fans got the message: WE’RE BACK! The show finally goes live in The City of Angels to a raucous crowd with all three brands being represented. With that, LA is joined by the Intercontinental Champion!

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WWE Summerslam Preview: Can You Stand the Heat?

Ron Johnson — Sun, 23 Aug 2009 11:53:57 -0400

The WWE is on a collision course with TNA as both promotions are having one of their biggest events in the City of Angels. With Bound For Glory set for LA in October, the WWE returns to the Staples Center. But there is no Nuggets vs. Lakers rivalry happening in this showdown. Instead, we get the biggest party of the summer topped off with the return of the biggest faction in WWE History, the return of one of the most dangerous matches in WWE History and the return of one of the biggest rivalries in WWE History. With that, here is the rundown of tonight's ender to the summer: Summerslam!

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TNA Hard Justice: Did TNA Drop The Ball...Again?

Ron Johnson — Tue, 18 Aug 2009 17:08:18 -0400

Everyone has shot out their fair share of their disdain for this past Sunday's TNA Hard Justice. Now it's my turn. But before I start, I would like to tell TNA that you listened to us at Bleacher Report. You heard our cries for change, and gave us a ray of hope...

All that for about five minutes.

After giving us a vulnerable spot in the Mafia, and following that up with the biggest riot in TNA History, you gave us a mediocre at best pay per view that consisted of this:

#1) The Main Event Elite holds 98% of the power in TNA once again with Samoa Joe and Kevin Nash laying claim to the only titles that the Mafia Elite didn't have.

#2) Eric Young became the equalizer in the IWGP World Tag Team Championship Match when he provided enough distraction to allow The British Infestation to win their match.

#3) Cody Deaner defeated Angelina Love to win the TNA Knockouts Championship...only to not give it to his Knockouts partner, ODB.

#4) Jethro Holliday failed to defeat Abyss...but was able to knockout Dr. Stevie after the match.

And #5) Despite his legal troubles leading up to Hard Justice, TNA decided to keep Kurt Angle as TNA Champion.

I will address all five of these one at a time.

No. 1) Xterminated and Old Folks' Gold

Samoa Joe couldn't defeat Homicide following last month's pay per view, but somehow, he was able to hold off his temper to choke out the LAX member to once again become the X-Division Champion. How is that even possible? Samoa Joe is not as intimidating as he was before his injury.

As for Homicide, he was just returning from a personal leave himself to defeat Suicide to become X Division Champion. Now we have to see another one of those "unbeatable" title runs from Samoa Joe? TNA, what are you thinking?

As for Old Folks' Gold, Kevin Nash defeated fellow Senior Citizen Mick Foley to win back the TNA Legends Championship. For starters, this title belongs on someone who has more than just one strand of grey hair on their head and/or face.

Nash has been riddled with injury over the final stretch of his career. He should have retired when he had the chance. But Foley is not safe either. It was good when he was behind the scenes, but when he decided to step back in the ring, that's when things took a turn for the worse.

In any event, TNA needs to put one of their originals behind that strap ASAP!!!

No. 2) Eric Young goes from Turkey to Goat

Since when did Eric Young become the most dangerous and unbeatable guy in TNA? Really, when did EY become the man in TNA? After years of being the scapegoat in Team Canada as well as a singles competitor, he is now the official scapegoat of World Elite.

Can the leader of WE and the leader of MEM actually coexist?

Not a chance. World Elite dropped the ball on Sunday night when Hernandez decimated the entire British Infestation to reclaim his stolen property: The Feast or Fired Briefcase they took from him.

On the Mafia side, all of them left HJ with gold. The Infestation remained New Japan World Tag Team Champions. But with Hernandez winning back his briefcase, how long will it be before Super Mex wins the TNA World Heavyweight Championship?

No. 3) Cody Deaner, the new TNA Knockouts Champion?!

Do I even need to say what is wrong with this picture? Didn't WWE pull this same stunt many moons ago? You know, the whole "male wins female championship" thing. If it wasn't for ODB, Deaner wouldn't even be in TNA.

So how does he repay her? He gets the pin, the win...and the gold.

If TNA wants to save face, they need to fix this issue, right now! Either award the gold to Angelina or ODB. But do not dig back up arguably the dumbest and worst storyline in wrestling history.

Deaner is not Andy Kaufman...and Kaufman wasn't even that entertaining then.

No. 2) What is the real purpose of resurrecting ECW?

Over the past few months, TNA has been going back in time on several occasions. They started several years ago with the arrival of Sting, Rhino and Christian. They raised the bar with the arrival of Kurt Angle.

But over the last few months, the original ECW has been resurrected in the form of several superstars on the TNA Roster.

First came Dr. Stevie aka Steven Richards. Then along comes the return of Raven and Shane Douglas for a brief encounter with Abyss and Christopher Daniels. The final blow came when Tazz returned to join the side of Samoa Joe and the Nation of Violence.

Is TNA planning to make itself a little more...extreme?

Either way, the ploy hasn't worked. Only Tazz and Richards have survived the long hiatus of being out of the ring. But if you're not going to make things extreme, then get rid of Mr. 13 and that raspy voiced clown that has lost his will to compete.

No. 1) Why is TNA kissing Kurt Angle's Ass?

Seriously. Angle has had so many legal troubles over the past two years, that it's insane for a wrestling company to continue promoting him as the main guy in their promotion.

But TNA continues to brush the dirt off their shoulders and keep Angle as the man to beat in the company.

Not Sting, who has seniority over Angle in more ways than one. And not Matt Morgan, who has become quite a dangerous and competitive superstar as of late. After defeating Styles, we all figured that Morgan would be next in line to be champion, if not Sting.

But instead of Sting or Morgan, and despite the most recent legal troubles as well as the HGH, Kurt Angle is still the TNA World Champion.

Remember when I said that I would no longer write Slamback columns if TNA didn't step up and give me reasons to watch? Well that could be the case here.

All TNA proved to me is that you can be R. Kelly (the infamous Pissing Video), Ike Turner (Beat Up An Icon), Chris Benoit (Enough Said) or for that matter Brock Lesnar when he was WWE Champion.

As long as you sell tickets, you're okay to have as much out of the ring problems as possible.

So TNA, are you ready to prove the Bleacher Report Wrestling Nation wrong...again?

Shane Howard Is the Superman of the Wrestling Justice League

Ron Johnson — Tue, 18 Aug 2009 00:54:49 -0400

Usually, I have enjoyed playing the heel of the Wrestling Community.

I call out certain individuals, and they scream at the top of their lungs: "I am not a nugget!" I call out others, in a good way, and they prove me right on those marks.

But when I called out guys like the PW Community Head Honchos, they did something bigger.

They brought their "A" Game to the table.

This is why I am not insulting or chastising the current Community Leader. I am singing his praises. From his hit radio show, "Hit The Ropes," to his constant belief that this section can withstand the tyranny of the "Outsiders," Shane has kept his game face on with as much productiveness as expected for someone with a hectic lifestyle.

That in itself is worthy of admiration and respect.

For that, I do thank him for showing me that he can handle the pressures that come with being the leader of a huge entity such as this. He has the potential to make WWE Writers and TNA Writers look like kindergarten students at your local elementary school.

And this isn't blowing smoke up his ass for sure.

Anyone who knows about the war of words that Shane and I have had in the past, and know that "kissing ass" is not anywhere on my resume or a part of my reputation as a writer or person.

But in Shane's case, this is about a mutual admiration that I have for the guy.

He has proven me wrong on several occasions. I called him out on his constant advertising of TWD (or The Website Formally Known as The B/R Pro Wrestling Section), and he came back with an address thanking all of the wonderful writers of the B/R Pro Wrestling Section.

Now how many guys do you know can pull that off with a straight face?

There have been times that I have wanted to contact his wrestling show to give credit where credit is due, but because of my own personal obligations, it's been hard to do so.

So instead of waiting until the next Hit The Ropes, I actually decided to call out Superman one more time. Because of my constant appearances and disappearances, I have dubbed myself The Flash. Sure, Green Lantern would have been good, but no one knows whether the original was truly black or white.

Kind of like Michael Jackson, in some cases.

But this isn't about me, or anyone else in the Section for that matter. This is about Shane Howard doing what he does best: Taking the ball and running with it. I admit, when I was CL, I dropped the ball countless times. But with a strong offensive line, I was able to save some face until I was forced to watch from the bench.

As a Senior Writer, I may not have the fanbase to back it up, but I earned that title for the hard work I do on this site. I may not write as much here, but I do write when it counts.

That is why I am putting myself in the spotlight one more time. I will no longer write recaps of wrestling shows, mainly because it's not really original. The basis of them was to show that we can write better recaps than the guys who are getting paid. Period!

And have we not proven that?

Ross, Joe Burgett, Elisa Taylor and a host of others have manged to show that the Bleacher Report Wrestling Section is the real Justice League. I'm not sure who would be Wonder Woman, but we do know who Batman, Captain America and the rest would be.

But in the end, Shane is the Superman of the Wrestling Justice League.

He is the man responsible for making this section truly better, because he tells the critics: "Hey Boys! We're here, and we're not going anywhere!"

That's the mark of a true Community Leader. That's why he is who he is, and that's why he's in the position that he's in.

With football season approaching, it's better that it's not me running the Community anymore. I may have had a hand in getting it started, which no one can take from me, but it's better that someone else take the reigns so I can focus more on the upcoming gridiron season.

With that said, I will continue rooting for the underdogs known as the Pro Wrestling Section, because no matter how much someone wants us to go away for good, and no matter how much respect they don't give us, we'll take what is ours and we'll get our respect by increasing the numbers that are already substantially higher than originally advertised.

So Shane, on behalf of one of the creators and the original CL, I applaud you and say that I am truly happy to be passing the torch to you.

I couldn't think of anyone better to pass the torch to than you.

PS: Sorry about the Tebow photo. But he's considered Superman, you know.

Swift and Painful: TNA Hard Justice Preview

Ron Johnson — Sun, 16 Aug 2009 13:15:29 -0400

Tonight continues TNA's Road To Bound IV Glory as the superstars of TNA continue their war for control of the company. As we already know, the World Elite and Main Event Mafia have joined forces to become the Main Event Elite. What happened afterwards may have ignited a war that no one can find themselves walking away from unharmed. So after the riot that tore through the entire iMPACT Zone, we now find ourselves waiting for the next move of TNA. It starts tonight live from Universal Studios in Orlando as TNA hits the pay per view airwaves with Hard Justice. And there's a guarantee that tonight's Hard Justice will be both swift and painful. Here's the rundown of tonight's pay per view event!

Begin Slideshow

TNA iMPACT Slamback: Sting Against The World

Ron Johnson — Thu, 13 Aug 2009 23:02:07 -0400

After video footage of last week’s groundbreaking riot to open iMPACT, the show goes live with the return of Christy Hemme!!!!

Christy Hemme vs. Sojourner Bolt (Winner: Christy Hemme)

Both women try to get control by pulling each other’s hair and applying as many head holds as possible. Bolt immediately goes on the offensive by applying as many shots to the surgically repaired neck of Hemme. But Hemme bounces back with a back body drop that sends Bolt squarely on her head.

Bolt goes for a top rope move, but Hemme counters the suplex with the FFG to get the win in her return to the six-sided ring.

After the match, Mike Tenay and Dumb West give the rundown of tonight’s iMPACT Broadcast. In the process, AJ Styles and Matt Morgan both arrive to the iMPACT Zone to prepare for tonight’s epic Third and Final Match in their Best of Three Series.

Back on the program, Tazz is making excuses for Samoa Joe’s loss last week on iMPACT. Joe’s handler makes it clear that Joe will put Homicide out at Hard Justice and walk out the X Division Champion.

Doug Williams vs. Hernandez (Winner: Hernandez)

Hernandez gets early advantage with a shoulder tackle followed by a brain buster suplex. Hernandez continues the pain with a shoulder backbreaker. But thanks to Brutus Magnus, Williams is able to get control of the match.

As Hernandez starts to fight back, we are informed that Hernandez will face Rob Taylor this Sunday for the Feast or Fired Briefcase. As for the action, Super Mex bounces back with a clothesline and a spine buster. Magnus again jumps on the ropes to allow Williams to get control briefly.

As Williams goes up top, Hernandez catches him and drops him with the Gringo Killer to pick up the win and gain momentum heading into this Sunday.

After the bell, Magnus tries to get control, but he gets tackled by Hernandez. Afterwards, he gives chase to all three members of the British Invasion.

Intermission: Interview with “The Boss” Bobby Lashley

Lashley reveals that he still had a hunger that brought him back to professional wrestling. However, he makes it clear that he still has that desire to continue with his MMA Career.

When asked how the outcome would be if the greatest wrestler alive (Kurt Angle) faces the greatest MMA fighter alive (Lashley), Lashley says that it would be the fans that would win it. But in regards to the two of them, that remains to be seen.

In the back, Dr. Stevie and Daphney are giving an update on the $50,000 bounty on the head of Abyss. Richards continues by letting these people know that they will have to maim Abyss. Abyss comes in and wraps his claws around Stevie’s neck, but as he calls out Stevie, “The Outlaw.”

Back on the program, Tara is giving props to Awesome Kong before focusing on tonight’s Fatal Four Way Knockouts Match.

Rhino & Jesse Neal vs. World Elite (Eric Young & Sheik Abdul Bashir) (Winner: World Elite)

Neal is getting the advantage over Young before Rhino comes in and continues the advantage over World Elite. Neal returns into the ring, but he is quickly dropped with an elbow from Young. Sheik comes in and delivers his own punishment to the young rookie.

The Elite continues the punishment on the young student as they double team Neal constantly, but Neal bounces back with a boot to the face. This allows Neal to get a chance to tag in Rhino, but instead, he takes a cheap shot at Bashir, which allows Young to use the trunks to get the three-count.

After the bell, Rhino tries to educate the young man, and delivers a slap to him. Rhino then turns around and delivers a GORE! GORE! GORE! to Neal.

Back on the show, Rhino explains that Neal is not the same man that had a fight in him when the training started.

Fatal Four Way Knockouts Match

ODB vs. Awesome Kong vs. Angelina Love vs. Tara (Winner: Tara)

The four women split up with Kong going after Tara, and ODB locks up with Love. While ODB gets the advantage over Love, Tara and Kong try to take each other down. But Kong gets control of the duo while Love tries to regain her composure.

After taking shots of courage, ODB and Tara go flying as ODB takes out Kong, Raisha and Cody, and Tara drops all three members of The Beautiful People.

Back In the ring, Tara and Kong continue slugging it out as the two Hard Justice opponents square off inside. Love delivers the Botox Injection, but can’t get the pinfall. But ODB bounces back with the running power slam. Kong breaks up the hold before tossing out Love. ODB goes for a body slam, but Kong drops her with ease followed by a leg drop.

Tara keeps Love on the outside, while Kong fights with ODB. Kong delivers a choke slam, but The Deaner jumps on the apron to take the fight to Kong. He delivers a kiss to Kong, but he gets an Awesome Bomb for his troubles. Tara sprints up from behind and rolls Kong up for the win.

In the back, Sting and AJ Styles are preparing for the Best of Three Series Finale. Styles agrees with Sting that he is in the pressure cooker. He also says that at the end of the match, either he’s a winner or a loser.

No Disqualifications Singles Match

Scott Steiner vs. Brother Ray (Winner: Scott Steiner)

Following a point-counterpoint between Steiner and Brother Ray, the physicality begins. Steiner delivers a huge modified suplex, but Brother Ray bounces back with a series of punches followed by a set of chops. Brother Ray delivers a Bubba Bomb, but only gets a count of two.

Sharmell provides distraction, but Brother Devon jumps in to keep the double team from happening. Following the WASSUP!, Brother Devon starts fishing for a table, but World Elite makes their way down to make enough distraction to allow Booker and Steiner to drop Brother Ray through a table and pick up the win.

Intermission: TNA Legends Championship Contract Signing for Hard Justice

Tenay stands in as mediator between Kevin Nash and Mick Foley. Foley signs instantly as Nash reads it before he inks the deal. Foley grabs the stick and tries to figure out why Nash changed his ways and made it all about the money. Nash responds by saying that everyday that Foley is Legends Champion, it’s costing him $20,000.

After jawing back and forth about Nash doing it for money (and Wizard World) and Foley doing it for free (and his kids), Nash makes it clear that he is an athlete and a businessman and calls Foley a pathetic wrestler.

Following the war of words, Foley tries to con Nash into using the table. But since there’s no money involved, Nash won’t use the table.

After going through a brief war of words, Foley decides that he’s going through the table one way or the other…so he drops himself through the table with a huge smile on his face.

TNA Featured Contest

Best of Three Series Finale (Winner is final entrant in Triple Threat Match at Hard Justice for TNA World Heavyweight Championship) (Winner: Matt Morgan)

“The Blueprint” Matt Morgan w/Kurt Angle vs. “The Phenomenal” AJ Styles w/”The Icon” Sting

Styles starts off in spectacular fashion with a Senton Flip over the top rope to open the match. He then delivers a flying forearm off the guardrail before sliding him into the ring to officially start the match.

In the ring, Styles locks in the Figure Four as Morgan starts to crawl to the ropes. As he locks eyes with Angle, Styles drives the shoulder into the gut of the seven-footer. Styles delivers a huge dropkick before driving the forearm into the face. But Morgan bounces back with a big boot that sends Styles back to the center of the ring.

After delivering the elbows, he drops Styles with a Sidewalk Drop. Following a near-fall, Morgan sends him to the outside and tells the official to begin the count. With help from Sting, AJ gets back into the ring. Morgan continues the beat down with a Leg Hang over the top rope, but again, he only gets a two-count.

Sting tries to get AJ back into the match, but Morgan comes in and continues the pressure on Mr. Phenomenal. Morgan goes for the Carbon Footprint, but AJ manages to fling out of the way before delivering some punches and the kick to the back of the head.

Styles hits the Missile Dropkick off the Springboard, but only gets a two-count for his troubles. Morgan bounces back with a Sidewalk Slam, but he only gets a two-count as well. Styles bounces up while Morgan tries to go up top. Morgan goes back up top and guns for a neck breaker, but Styles counters it into a Pele on Morgan off the top rope.

Styles misses the Flying Forearm, and Morgan delivers the Carbon Footprint to pick up the win and advance to the Main Event at Hard Justice to join Sting and Kurt Angle. After the bell, all the members of the Mafia make their way to the ring to celebrate with Morgan and Angle.

Conclusion: The Main Event Elite Celebration

Angle congratulates Matt Morgan for winning the Best of Three Series against AJ Styles. Afterwards, Angle asks Morgan for one last favor: Help him keep the TNA World Heavyweight Championship at Hard Justice. Morgan declines the favor, and makes it clear that he intends to leave Hard Justice as the TNA World Heavyweight Champion.

With that, the Hard Justice Rundown begins as TNA goes off the air thanks to Filthee.

Evolution Is The Solution: The Evolution of the Game

Ron Johnson — Wed, 12 Aug 2009 16:20:23 -0400

I have been on the sidelines long enough. After several months on hiatus, one of the biggest most impacted series in Bleacher Report history returns with one of our biggest celebrities. Today, we take an in-depth look at the history of one of the biggest players in the WWE. From his humble beginnings being trained by the late great Killer Kowalski to his rise to the top of the WWE Universe, no one has been able to drop more bombshells and leave more of an impact that Paul Michael Levesque... The man we all know as The Game, Triple H. Here is The Evolution of Triple H...

Begin Slideshow

WWE RAW Rewind Returns With Two Words: We're Back!

Ron Johnson — Mon, 10 Aug 2009 23:20:34 -0400

This edition of the RAW Rewind is dedicated to Corporal Benjamin Stephen Kopp, nephew of WWE Hall of Famer Sgt. Slaughter. Kopp was killed in action in Afghanistan fighting for the very freedoms that we all share and enjoy every day. Cpl. Kopp, thanks for all your hard work and dedication to the defending the rights of Americans everywhere.

With that, here’s tonight’s edition of WWE RAW!

Tonight’s RAW in Calgary, AB, Canada opens up with the appearance of WWE Champion Randy Orton, who successfully defended his gold against the Big Show this past Saturday in Loveland, Colorado.

Orton starts out by saying that he’s been hearing rumors that he’s afraid of facing John Cena at Summerslam and that he bullied Jeremy Piven to do his dirty work.

He confirms that he did bully him, because he can. After chastising the fans in Calgary, he turns his attention to Summerslam and John Cena. As he continues his tirade, he is joined by his Summerslam opponent, John Cena.

Cena starts out by saying that he is very angry at Orton’s rumors and facts. He then makes it clear that he is truly ready to snap. He goes on to make it clear that he has had enough of Orton’s dirty tactics. Cena decides that the fight should happen tonight. All of a sudden, The Big Show and Chris Jericho make their way down to the ring…but why?

The Unified Tag Team Champions come out and make it clear that they are the ones that are intimidating. Jericho grabs the stick and makes it clear that they are in CANADA! After soaking in the cheers, Jericho announces that he wants to do something that he has never done before: Beat Cena in Calgary.

Orton grabs the mic and makes it clear that he will punt Cena in the skull after the bell. But Big Show has an announcement of his own: He is going to face…The WWE Champion, Randy Orton!

In the back, as Sgt. Slaughter rallies the troops, we learn that Triple H has traveled to Texas to find his long lost partner, Shawn Michaels, in hopes to reunite DX one more time.

Fatal Four Way To Determine the #1 Contender for Divas Championship

Beth Phoenix vs. Alicia Fox vs. Kelly Kelly vs. Gail Kim

Fox and Phoenix start the physicality by slugging it out with Kelly and Kim. All four Divas go for pinfall after pinfall on each other. Fox breaks the pinfall attempts by delivering a backbreaker to Fox. As Kim drops to the floor, Kelly does everything in her power to get control, but a miscue allows Kim to return to deliver a missile dropkick.

Kim and Kelly slug it out on the top rope, but Beth shows her uncanny strength by picking both Kim and Kelly. Fox comes in and breaks the submission, but the two women argue before Fox is launched off the floor.

Kim recovers and delivers a splash in the corner before flying off the top rope to Fox. Kelly becomes the next to fly as she launches herself off the apron. Phoenix goes to the top, but Fox stops her in her tracks.

Fox delivers a dropkick to send Kelly out, but Kim delivers the Rising Sun to pick up the win and earn a shot at Mickie James and the Divas Championship.

Winner: Gail Kim

Following the bout, RAW’s Guest Host makes his first official appearance to the Canadian crowd. The Sarge comes out and gives mad props to the Canadian crowd in attendance…by saluting the Canadian Flag. He then turns it into a Canada SUCKS logo!

After bashing the crowd, he demands the crowd to stand up and pay respect to the good ol’ US of A by reciting the Pledge of Allegiance!

Back on the program, we take a look at last week’s ending to the Triple H-Legacy match before the arrival of the Oklahoma Gorilla.

“The All American Gorilla” Jack Swagger vs. Evan Bourne

Swagger comes out swinging with some shots to the midsection, but Bourne bounces back with a drop toe hold and falling dropkick. Bourne starts flying with the Double Knee Drop. Back in the ring, Swagger catches Bourne with a knee to the spine.

But it’s clear that despite all that Bourne has done, Swagger gets the victory with his Swagger Bomb. After the bell, Swagger starts gloating, but he is quickly interrupted by MVP.

The Franchise Playa makes it clear that no one in Canada cares that he is an All American. MVP then challenges Swagger to a match…tonight. Swagger decides not to face MVP tonight…which leads MVP to shove Swagger down to the ground.

An embarrassed Swagger walks away with his tail between his legs. But coming up, we will find out how Triple H’s search for HBK is going.

Winner: Jack Swagger

Intermission: The Search for Shawn Michaels

Back on the program, Triple H manages to find Shawn Michaels…working as a Burger Chef in San Antonio. After he berates a little girl for ringing the bell incessantly, he gives a quick hi to Hunter before heading back to the grill.

The Sarge returns to the rowdy Canadian crowd with a present: Jillian singing God Bless America…yeah, I know, my ears are bleeding too.

WWE Contract on A Pole Match

Eugene vs. Calgary Kid

The Kid uses some ingenuity to briefly throw Eugene off, but Eugene recovers and delivers The Rock Bottom followed by the Eugene Elbow. Eugene starts to make his climb to the top of the pole. The two battle until The Kid drops him with a head butt. He then grabs the contract and gets the slot on RAW. After the bell, The Kid helps Eugene to his feet…only to drop him again with a Downward Spiral.

He then unmasks to reveal that The Calgary Kid is in fact…The Miz!

That’s right kids! The Miz has managed to con his way back onto RAW.

(Winner: The Calgary Kid aka The Miz)

Following a quick WWE Rewind, we are graced with the 2^nd presence of Randy Orton as he makes his way down to the ring for his match.

Randy Orton vs. Big Show

Orton tries to get the early advantage, but Big Show shows why he is one of the most dominant athletes in the WWE with a set of punches to the gut. He then locks in a neck vise.

Orton is practically helpless as Big Show just walks on the body of the WWE Champion before locking the vise in again. Show picks Orton up to the top rope and chops him over the top to the ground below.

Orton tries to fight back with a thumb to the eye followed by a dropkick and the Gateway DDT. Following the two-count, Orton then delivers the Mental Dissection. But when he goes for the RKO, Show bounces off and drops him again. He then delivers the Chokeslam, but Orton manages to get his foot on the rope.

As Show goes for the Knockout Punch, Orton slithers out of the ring. Orton would rather take the count out than get back into the ring with Big Show as Show gets the count out victory.

Winner: Big Show via Count Out

Back in Texas, Triple H is trying to figure out what is going on with his partner. After a child tosses a bowl of tater tots into the face of HBK, Triple H tries again to talk him into coming back. As Shawn tries to talk down the offer, his grill catches fire. After extinguishing the flames, HBK returns and tells Hunter he’s got two words for him: “I’m listening.”

MVP vs. Chris Masters

The two pick up where they left off two weeks ago with Masters getting early control. Masters begins to focus on the lower back and neck area of MVP, but Porter starts to fight back with a belly to belly followed by the knee drop.

After delivering the Ballin’ Elbow Drop, MVP goes for the Drive-By, but counters the Master Lock into the Playmaker to pick up the win and get a measure of revenge on the man who prevented him from Beating The Clock.

After the bell, MVP gets a visit from Swagger, but Masters is able to lock in The Master Lock thanks to the distraction. After Masters releases the Master Lock, Swagger drives MVP to the ground with the Swagger Bomb.

Winner: MVP

Back in Texas, Triple H continues to talk sense all the while helping Shawn run the grill in the cafeteria. All of a sudden, Shawn’s boss comes in and berates Michaels. Shawn comes around and super kicks the boss. Shawn takes Triple H on his offer, but before he does, he finally super kicks the whiny little brat before giving his former co-workers two words: “I QUIT!!” Also, a woman passing by helps them finish their trademark sentence: “S*CK IT!!”

Back in Calgary, The Sarge continues to poke fun at the Canadians by setting up a possible return of Bret Hart…only to get “Hacksaw” Jim Duggan instead.

Hornswoggle & Mark-Swoggle vs. The Legacy

Chavo comes out in street clothes and says that he is unable to compete, but he has found a replacement tag team…Legacy.

DiBiase gets dropped on his ass several times by Mark-Swoggle before tagging in Cody Rhodes. Rhodes comes in and gets pressed to the ground. Legacy tries to get control of the match, but it is Henry that drops both men with a double suplex. Ted gets leveled followed by Rhodes. Mark then catches DiBiase in the air and delivers the World’s Strongest Slam.

But Ted moves out of the way of the Tadpole Splash and delivers Dream Street to Hornswoggle. After the bell, Legacy makes it clear that they are not intimidated by the reformation of D-Generation X.

Winner: The Legacy

In the back, Chris Jericho almost guarantees that he will defeat John Cena tonight. Big Show comes in to talk about his match. But the camera continues to roll as Jericho begins to trash not only Calgary, but also Canada in general. But Jericho doesn’t know that the cameras are still on until Josh Matthews informs him of what we already know…his crowd may just turn on him tonight.

Back on RAW, we find out that next week’s Guest Host in my hometown of St. Louis will be Freddie Prinze, Jr. Following the rundown of the current Summerslam Card, Calgary once again is rocked by the arrival of John Cena.

Main Event

John Cena vs. Chris Jericho

Jericho starts off with a shoulder block, but as he goes for The Walls, Cena slips out to recompose himself. Both men try to size each other up, with Cena getting the upper hand with a shoulder block followed by a headlock. Jericho gets the advantage back with a baseball slide that sends Cena to the outside. Back in the ring, Jericho continues to deliver the punishment as the crowd begins to will Cena back to his feet.

Cena recovers and delivers a pair of flaying shoulders following the Beantown Bomb. Cena almost gets caught by a small package, but Cena fights out of it. Cena goes for the Attitude Adjustment, but Jericho counters it into the Walls of Jericho. Cena manages to roll out of the Walls and lock in the STF. Orton comes back in and causes the DQ.

Winner: John Cena via DQ

Jericho catches Cena off the distraction with a Codebreaker. After Orton sends Jericho out of the ring, Big Show drops Orton with a choke slam. The Sarge returns to the ring and makes a huge announcement: Big Show-icho vs. Randy Orton and John Cena next week in St. Louis.

With that, Cena and Orton eliminate the World’s Largest Athlete before Cena and Orton set up an AAKO (Attitude Adjustment Knock Out) on Chris Jericho before pacing around each other with RAW going off the air.

Pro Wrestling Section Begins Its Own Downward Spiral

Ron Johnson — Sat, 01 Aug 2009 00:01:30 -0400

If anyone paid attention to my iMPACT Slamback article last night, I said that "The PW Section was on strike..." and it seems like that was a false statement.

This would be the time that I would apologize to everyone I supposedly offended, but this will not (and most likely ever) happen again.

Why? Because of several writers deciding to go on strike due to Bleacher Report's "lack of respect."

Allow me to be the one to clear the air.

Subject One: If you want respect, you have to earn it.

In life and sport, even in writing, you have to earn your stripes. Do you honestly expect to be at the top of the world from article one?

My first article was knocking Kobe for his actions in Eagle, Colo. But it was my second article trashing Michigan that got everyone's attention.

When it comes to respect, I had it before I became the Community Leader of the Pro Wrestling Section. But when I disrespected a member of the Community, the entire world called for my head.

In the end, I was removed as CL, and Shane and JLB were brought in to fill the void that I supposedly left for being away on personal and professional matters.

From where I'm standing, I see that the section is now calling for a stronger babysitter due in large part to what they say is "a lack of respect from Bleacher Report as a whole."

Which brings me to Subject Two.

Subject Two: Bleacher Report vs. Pro Wrestling Section

You claim that Bleacher Report shows you no respect, but if I see this right, they have shown you respect.

When I see an article from our section placed on the front page, it makes me smile.

When I see one of our illustrious writers make the front page, I become more convinced that they made the right decision.

But when I see several articles bashing the very organization that made you who you are today, that's when I have to take a step back and ask you simply...

WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU THINKING?

Everyone is entitled to an opinion, but you guys are making it seem like everyone on the site is out to destroy the Community. Do you honestly expect everyone to bow down at your feet at first glance? Bleacher Report is a proving ground. It always has been, and it always will be.

I can't say that it isn't a stepping stone, but on the other hand, I can.

I have been here either just as long if not longer as most of you on the Section. But I can't back you guys up if you continue to trash and bash the very people that not only allow you to write on the site, but also advertise yourselves to other sites as well.

Subject Three: Don't back down. Keep doing what you do best.

Now that I have made my say to a point on some matters, let's focus on what you are good at. It's obvious that if you're able to acquire 2,000 bodies to the Bleacher Report and the Section, then you're obviously doing something right.

So don't go on strike because you want to feel that it's the right thing. Go on strike because you know that it's the right thing.

You're tired of being unheard? Then do something to make yourself heard.

Tired of being disrespected? Then show them that you're better than they expect you to be.

Tired of being insulted by others? Then kick them in the balls and move on, for crying out loud.

But either way, you are only hurting your own future by refusing to do what you do best. This section has without a shadow of a doubt some of the best writers in the world. That's not an exaggeration...that's a proven fact.

So keep writing...because if you don't, your enemy/nemesis/target wins.

Subject Four: Worthless Excuse for Advertisement

Now that I'm not the Community Leader anymore, I can officially say exactly what is on my mind.

JLB, I feel that you are one hell of a writer, but you set yourself up with the wrong individuals. Ray makes a living on being controversial, and it's obvious that his temper will not allow him to take criticism greatly.

As for M, well you already know the history between the two of us.

I feel your pain to branch out and make a name for yourself, but how can you possibly bash the very people that felt that you were worthy of being the Leader of 2,000 followers?

Now, you got Shane, a well respected writer and the sole CL of the Section now, advertising for your site on their site? Where's the fairness in that?

You know you're wrong for what you did, and I hope you learn the errors of your ways. Do I feel insulted that you didn't ask me to write for your little militia? Absolutely.

But will I insult the very organization that made me, you, Shane and others one of the most dangerous entities in journalism history? Not a chance.

Why? Because you have to work smarter, not more ignorant.

I'm sure that The Wrestling Daily will strive in its own way, but for you to have Shane, the Community Leader of the Bleacher Report Wrestling Section, advertise for it is living proof that you don't have the Section's best interest at heart.

Finale: My Unofficial, Official Ten Cents

If the section will not write for itself, then it will be up to me to continue the trend that I started over three years ago.

It's clear that if no one else will do it because they feel disrespected, then it's up to one of The Originals (and yes, I can call myself that) to resurrect the thunder that this section had before all this political garbage took over.

So if anyone else wants to retire, resign or quit, go right ahead. I'm sure that there are 2000+ people who would love the chance to make a name for themselves and your departure.

So I'm just curious, who will the Powers that Be choose to secede JLB as the new Co-Community Leader? Better yet, will they continue to allow Shane to continue advertising for another site on their site?

Translation: If you want some publicity, why don't you do like everyone else and ask if it's fine for you to advertise on the section?

It has worked for TNA, WWE, PW Headlines and several other wrestling sites. Do you think they wouldn't say yes to you? Highly doubtful, but if you continue to make complete asses out of yourself, you bet they won't care won't you think.

When it comes to respect, you always have to earn it. Not even I will give you that on a Silver Platter.

I earned my respect by writing. I earned my title of Senior Writer by giving every side of the spectrum.

I earned my right to speak my mind because these guys gave me the outlet, and I'm showing my respect and appreciation by using it.

Take control of your destiny. This is Bleacher Report: Love it or Leave it.

WWE SmackDown Rebound: Straight Edge By Any Means Necessary

Ron Johnson — Fri, 31 Jul 2009 23:07:43 -0400

Following a recap of this past Sunday’s Night of Champions’ World Heavyweight Championship Match, SmackDown goes live to a raucous crowd in Ray Lewis’s backyard of Baltimore.

All of a sudden, the new World Heavyweight Champion, Jeff Hardy, makes his much anticipated arrival to the ring.

Hardy starts off by saying that he is a free spirit, he has beaten his own drum and the only drug he’s on now is being World Champion. He then focuses on the future…mainly CM Punk’s rematch and his title defense against John Morrison tonight.

As Hardy prepares to leave the ring, Cryme Tyme heads down to the ring for their match, but to also celebrate Hardy’s hard fought title victory at Night of Champions as SmackDown takes its first break.

Cryme Tyme vs. The Hart Dynasty (No. 1 Tag Team Contender’s Match)

Shad gets control early with a huge shoulder block that sends DH Smith rolling back to his corner. Tyson Kidd gets the blind tag, and he is able to take advantage of it with a kick to the legs of Shad. The duo continue to focus on the long tree trunks of Shad Gaspard as they ram him into the steel steps.

Back on the show, DH picks up where Tyson Kidd left off by throwing every submission maneuver in the arsenal at the big man of CTC. Smith locks in a Single Leg Boston Crab, all while shoving his boot into the back of Smith’s head.

Despite Kidd trying to keep the tag from happening, Shad manages to shove Kidd aside and bring in JTG. JTG drops Smith off the apron before delivering a leg drop from the top rope to Kidd. But Tyson delivers a springboard neck breaker to slow the pace down.

Shad drops DH Smith on the outside while Kidd and JTG fly around the ring. But in the end, JTG delivers the Shout Out to get the pinfall victory and become the #1 Contenders for the Unified Tag Team Championships when they face The Big Show-icho at Summerslam.

After the bell, the Tag Champions make their way out to talk trash to the new No. 1 Contenders.

Jericho applauds them before grabbing the stick and bragging about the accomplishments of both men. But Shad quickly jumps on and speaks Wookie to the language prone Big Show. JTG jumps on and makes them remember Monday night.

Just like Monday night, the Tag Champions try to save face by comparing accolades before they leave the arena.

Michelle McCool and Layla vs. Eve Torres and Melina

Layla and Eve continue their expired rivalry as they slug it out to begin the match. McCool comes in and continues the punishment with a set of knees to the head. Eve fights out of the headlock and is able to tag in Melina.

Melina comes in and drops Layla with a farewell and a high knee. But as she goes for the Flashing Lights, McCool drops her with a kick to the face.

McCool jumps in goes for the Faithbreaker, but Melina counters it into the Hollywood Bomb to get the pin and the victory for her and Eve.

In the back, CM Punk confirms that Hardy’s victory was indeed an upset, but he makes it clear that everyone should be Straight Edge like him.

Dolph Ziggler and Mike Knox vs. Finlay and Rey Mysterio

Ziggler and Mysterio pick up where they left off from last Sunday as Rey intends to pick up where he left off, but Mike Knox drops Mysterio with a huge splash before delivering more punishment.

Mysterio tries to fight back with a enzugiri that allows him to tag in Finlay. The Irishman comes in and drops Knox with a set of clotheslines and the Irish splash. Finlay then drops Knox with a Guinness Rollover.

As Finlay tries to continue the pressure, Knox nails a bicycle kick and manages to slightly injure Finlay. Ziggler returns to the ring and continues the assault on Finlay.

Finlay tries to tag, but Ziggler maintains control as Knox returns in to deliver a Half Nelson to keep the Irishman grounded. Finlay continues to show signs that he needs to tag as Ziggler and Knox continue the assault.

Knox misses the knee, but Ziggler is able to cut Finlay off from making the tag briefly as Mysterio comes in and explodes on Ziggler. Mysterio continues the high flying assault with a set of dropkicks.

Mysterio delivers the 619 and drops Knox in the process before dropping him with the West Coast Splash. Thanks to Finlay’s elbow, Mysterio gets the roll up on Dolph to get the pinfall victory over Ziggler and Knox.

In the back, the current No. 1 Contender for the World Championship, John Morrison, starts off by congratulating Jeff for winning the gold. He agrees that tonight that they will create a spark that will be felt all over the WWE Universe. Afterwards, The Great Khali prepares to make his way to the ring.

Charlie Haas vs. The Great Khali

Haas tries to slug it out and use his speed to get control, but Khali makes it clear that overpowering him would be pointless. Following a vicious chop, Khali delivers the Khali Chop before aiming for the Punjabi Plunge.

But Kane makes his appearance and tries to kidnap Ranjin Singh. Khali gives chase but it is Kane who appears to have the last laugh for a brief moment.

In the back, both Hardy and Morrison are preparing for their epic World Heavyweight Championship main event.

World Heavyweight Championship Main Event

John Morrison vs. Jeff Hardy

Hardy and Morrison show mutual respect before the bell, but when the bell rings, they both dish out everything they can to get the upper hand. Morrison gets control by using his feet and a huge clothesline.

Morrison applies the pressure with a reverse chinlock. Hardy bounces back and delivers a jawbreaker, but Morrison bounces back and launches him over the top rope before delivering a springboard moonsault as SmackDown goes to its final break.

Back on the show, Morrison has a severe headlock applied back in the ring. The two began to slug it out until a near fall makes things neutral. Hardy counters the Starship Pain and nails the Whisper in the Wind for only a two-count.

Hardy continues the pressure with the infamous Hardy Leg Drop. Hardy applies a headlock, but Morrison fights his way out of it to deliver a backbreaker/side Russian Leg Sweep combo. But he then delivers a standing 450 Splash.

Morrison nails a few punches before delivering a huge neck breaker to continue the control. Both men go up top and slug it out on the top rope, but both men hit the knockout punch that sends them to the ground below.

The two return to the ring and start to slug it out until Morrison gets the advantage with a clothesline and dropkick. But Hardy bounces back with a double leg drop and dropkick.

But it doesn’t take long for them to take the fight back to the outside, where Jeff whips Morrison into the security wall, and Hardy takes it to the next level with the Crash and Burn Leg Launch.

Morrison counters both the Twist of Fate and the Whisper in the Wind to deliver the Running Wisdom. But Hardy again manages to kick out. Hardy ducks the springboard dropkick but can’t dodge the second dropkick.

Morrison delivers the Chuck Kick, but he only gets a two-count again. If they were gunning for a match for the ages, they are succeeding. Morrison goes for Moonlight Drive, but Hardy hits the inverted suplex followed by the Swanton Bomb. One, Two…Morrison KICKS OUT!!!

Hardy goes for the Donkey Punch, but Morrison gets the feet up enough to send him to the other side. Morrison misses the Starship Pain again, and Hardy nails the Twist of Fate followed by the Swanton Bomb to pick up the win and remain the World Heavyweight Champion.

Quite a Five Star Performance from both men and a true Five Star Match tonight to end SmackDown.

But after the bell, CM Punk makes his first official appearance to the crowd and makes his way to the ring.

Punk raises the hand of Hardy twice before grabbing the stick and nailing Hardy with it on the head. He then launches Hardy out of the ring and takes the fight outside. Punk continues the punishment on the security walls.

A bloodied Hardy is being decimated at the hands of the former World Champion before Punk drives the elbows to a limp Hardy.

Punk loses his shirt and begins to walk away…but the worthless dog decides to return and launch Hardy over the announcer's table.

Punk struts his way back to the back with a huge smile on his face, knowing that if Hardy hadn’t competed in one hell of a match just a few minutes before, it would be a different story.

Punk then announces that next week on SmackDown, he will invoke his rematch clause and take back “my World Heavyweight Championship back.” Hardy begins to stir as Punk continues to smile with SmackDown going off the air.

Next Week On SD: Will Punk return to the top of the mountain? Or will Hardy show that Night of Champions was more than just a mere upset? It's CM Punk vs. Jeff Hardy for the World Heavyweight Championship next week on Friday Night SmackDown!

TNA iMPACT Slamback: TNA Gets Bleacher Report's Message!

Ron Johnson — Thu, 30 Jul 2009 23:13:15 -0400

Even though I said that I wasn’t going to write another Slamback article, I decided that since everyone in the PW Section is on strike, I’ll work it.

Before the program, Angle is rallying his troops after they were flat-out embarrassed by Bobby Lashley last week. With that, TNA’s monumental 200th Episode hits the air waves with a look back at its most influential moments. Following the highlights, the show goes live with the arrival of the Main Event Mafia, led by TNA World Champion Kurt Angle.

Angle makes it clear that he is not happy with Lashley’s decision to not join the Mafia last week. As the Mafia members hang their heads in shame and disgust, Angle decides to call out Lashley, who comes out armed with a black bat in hand.

Lashley comes out and gives props where props are due. But he changes his tune and makes it clear that they’re not hungry anymore…where he is hungry.

Angle tries to save face by bashing the MMA Heavyweight. Lashley then decides to make Kurt an offer he can’t refuse…which brings down Mick Foley aka Cactus Jack.

Foley throws out the gauntlet down to Angle and The Mafia. He first thanks Lashley for helping him last week. He informs Angle that the TNA Board of Directors are watching the show tonight and waiting for the ratings to arrive.

Foley then throws out a tag team challenge: Foley and Lashley vs. Angle and Nash for the TNA World Heavyweight and TNA Legends Championships. After a moment of thinking, Angle decides to emphatically accept the challenge!

Following a rundown from Tenay and Dumb West, Hernandez hits the ring for his chance at revenge.

Samoa Joe vs. Hernandez (Winner: Hernandez)

Joe uses his feet to get an early advantage on Super Mex, but Hernandez just drops him with a shoulder tackle followed by a clothesline. Hernandez keeps the assault going with a highly elevated suplex, but Joe gets back in control with his Samoan Slam. The two begin slugging it out, but Joe gets control with a T-Bone Suplex.

Hernandez starts fighting back with a springboard shoulder block followed by a set of clotheslines, the Mexi Splash and a huge spine buster. Hernandez tries to fight back, but Joe nails a quick kick to slow Super Mex down. Hernandez drops him with a shove, and delivers the Super Mex Splash to pick up the upset win over The Nation of Violence.

After the bell, Hernandez makes it clear that now that he is back and healthy, he plans to become the first Latino to become TNA World Heavyweight Champion.

During the break, Samoa Joe shows his aggression in the back by tearing up everything in sight.

Also, Matt Morgan tries his best to sell himself up to not only the Mafia, but also the fans. On the other side, JB, who spends way too much on “All Natural” Hair Gel, is talking to AJ Styles.

Styles makes it clear to former TNA Original Eric Young that when their paths cross again, there will be hell to pay. As far as Matt Morgan is concerned, Styles intends to deliver a fight to The Blueprint.

In the back, JB is trying to get answers from Bobby Lashley and Mick Foley. Lashley makes it clear that last week, he saw a man that was fighting for the company as well as his livelihood: Mick Foley. Foley adds that Lashley’s decision worked out well for everyone on the Front Line’s side.

Match One in the Best of 3 Series for a Main Event Spot at Hard Justice

“The Blueprint” Matt Morgan vs. “The Phenomenal” AJ Styles

Despite being oversized and outmuscled, Styles uses his X-Division style to get the advantage over Morgan. Styles goes for the dropkick, but Morgan launches him over the top rope. As Styles writhes in pain, Morgan spends his time flaunting the beer belly that he’s trying so hard to hide.

Back in the ring, Morgan starts to toy with the TNA Original with elbow shots in the corner followed by a farewell slam.

He then launches him to the corner turnbuckle before using the ropes to choke him down. But AJ shifts and is able to keep from getting the legs over his neck.

Styles then delivers a pair of dropkicks followed by a flying clothesline and springboard forearm.

Morgan bounces back with a Kitchen Sink before getting dropped with the Pele. AJ then shows his initiative by hitting a Springboard 450 Splash to get the win in Match One of the their Best of Three Series. BTW: The 450 Splash will now be called the Phenomenal Bomb.

In the back, Traci Brooks explains her actions, saying two simple words: SCREW TNA! But Taylor Wilde steps in to try to talk some sense into her, but Traci makes it clear that this business is made for “Bitches Like Me.”

After a loaded interview from Dumb West with Tara, we fast forward to a Six-Knockouts Tag Match.

ODB, Awesome Kong and Tara vs. The Beautiful People aka The Three Blonde Stooges

Angelina (aka Schmoe) and Tara start the physicality with Tara taking out all three members of TBS. But Angelina uses that distraction to get brief control until all hell breaks loose momentarily.

Tara regains control. Madison comes in and gets dropped quickly as ODB comes in to deliver the Double D Splash. After a Fall Away Slam, ODB takes a moment to celebrate as iMPACT takes a break.

Back on the program, Kong comes in and delivers some punishment as Kong and Tara slug it out. In the process, The Motor City Machine Guns are holding up signs in the audience.

While Kong and Tara battle on the outside, ODB is fighting all three members of the Stooges on her own. Angelina comes in and delivers a diving dropkick.

Angelina then decides to taunt Cody Deaner, but Deaner plants one on Love that causes her to be dazed and confused enough for ODB to get the roll up and the solo upset win over The Stooges.

In the back, The World Elite, led by Eric Young, are heading to the ring.

Intermission: The World Elite Makes Its Official Debut

Brutus Magnus grabs the stick and introduces the leader of WE, Eric Young. Young starts off by asking simply, “Who’s Asking Now?” He then focuses his animosity on the United States of America (Any of this sounding familiar?)

As the crowd shows their disdain for Young’s new attitude, he then points the blame to the fans, as Dumb West shows his approval of Young’s words.

He then makes a promise that they will now take what they want. And with that, Young grabs the pair of shears and begins to shave his hair off.

He then makes it clear that he now calls the shots. With that, Team 3D makes their way to the ring with a look of disgust.

Brother Ray makes it clear that this is America: Love it or Leave It! With that, the fight is on!

Tables Match for the New Japan World Tag Team Championships

Team 3D vs. The British Infestation

Back on the program, the fight spills outside with Doug Williams and Brother Ray battling on the guardrail, Brother Devon and Brutus Magnus slug it out in the crowd. The fight spills all over the place as everyone is getting an up close and personal view of the carnage and anarchy.

Back in the ring, Brother Ray slugs it out with Doug Williams as members of WE make their presence felt in every way possible. Following the WASSUP! head butt, the crowd ushers Brother Devon to get the table! The Invasion manages to recover long enough to get on the offensive.

Rob Terry comes in and drops both men, all the while positioning the table to the right spot. But Eric Young slams the title belt on Devon’s forehead to allow the Invasion to win the match and the titles.

Back on the program, Dr. Stevie has made his loud and obnoxious return and makes a $50,000 challenge, while Steiner and Booker have attacked Lashley and Foley.

Angle runs in and knocks Lashley out with a steel pipe to the back of the skull. Things go from bad to worse as Booker continues taking out members of TNA as the lights go out and all that is heard is screams.

In the process, Nash and Angle make their way to the ring for their “match.”

Tag Team Match for the TNA World Heavyweight and Legends Championships

Kurt Angle and Kevin Nash vs. Mick Foley and Bobby Lashley

As The Mafia smiles at their damage, their early celebration is interrupted by Mick Foley. Foley staggers out to the ring for his match. Foley slugs it out with Angle before taking down Nash.

Foley takes the fight to Angle to start out as the match officially begins. Foley continues to bring the fight to Angle, but thanks to Nash’s interference, the Mafia gets the upper hand once more.

The fight spills to the outside of the ring, but Nash again implants himself to prevent Foley from getting complete control. Nash finally comes in to continue the punishment with a series of knees followed by a hard right hand.

Angle and Nash exchange hands to keep Foley at bay. But Foley continues to fight with a set of elbows followed by the Double Arm DDT. Foley pulls out the sock and shoves it right into the gullet of Angle. But Nash again comes in and drops Foley with a big boot.

Angle jumps on and applies the Ankle Lock to a prone Foley. But the lights all of a sudden go out and Sting’s music hits the iMPACT Zone. The lights come on to show Sting. Sting points his trademark bat at his former MEM Allies before the lights go back off.

The lights come back on…with a bandaged Lashley back in the ring!

Lashley eliminates Angle before delivering a body-splitting Spear to Nash. Foley gets the cover and becomes the new TNA Legends Champion!

Foley and Lashley celebrate in the ring as Angle cuddles his TNA Heavyweight Championship with iMPACT going off the air!

WWE RAW Shaqwind: Big Show Gets Posterized!

Ron Johnson — Mon, 27 Jul 2009 23:21:53 -0400

After a monumental Night of Champions, RAW goes live with the arrival of WWE Hall of Famer Jerry “The King” Lawler to introduce the night’s Guest Host: the newest Cleveland Cavalier, Shaquille O’Neal!

The Diesel came out firing with the announcement that there would be a Five-Man Beat The Clock Challenge to determine the No.1 Contender for the WWE Championship at Summerslam. The five men were: Triple H, MVP, Jack Swagger, Mark Henry and John Cena! As Shaq got the crowd ready, Chris Jericho came down to interrupt the insanity that Shaq was causing.

Jericho immediately came out and started insulting the night's guest host until Shaq planted a smooch on Jericho’s forehead. As Shaq toyed with one half of the Unified Tag Team Champions, Jericho made it clear that he had once again been disrespected, and Shaq better take notice.

As Shaq goaded a fight, Jericho called out his tag team partner: The Big Show. Sporting the old school Undertaker goatee, Show made his way to the ring and stared, literally, eye-to-eye with the 15-Time NBA All Star.

Show picked up where Jericho left off before telling him to get out of the ring. Shaq responded by challenging Big Show to a match. Big Show did everything in his power to back out of the challenge, but Shaq had other plans for the Tag Champions in the form of Cryme Tyme. As Jericho and Show left the ring, Shaq made it known that the match will have a special enforcer: himself.

Following chants of “Christina” from the DC crowd, we are informed that the Beat The Clock Challenge was starting next!

Beat The Clock Challenge

Mark Henry vs. Carlito

Carlito played the role of spoiler by staying outside the ring to avoid conflict with the World’s Strongest Man, but it didn't take long for the physicality to begin as Henry caught a flying Carlito and tossed him back into the ring. Carlito continued to avoid confrontation with Henry, but managed to get a brief advantage.

Unfortunately, it is brief as he met a brick wall not once but twice.

Henry focused on the clock before missing the Big Splash. Carlito went on the offensive after the miss with a springboard dropkick. Henry fought out of a sleeper hold, but Carlito gunned for the sleeper again. The World's Strongest Man started fading, but managed to strengthen his way out of the hold again.

Carlito showed his dumb side by going for the Backstabber, and Henry took him down with the World’s Strongest Slam to pick up the win and set the time at 6:49.

Following a rewind from the previous night’s Divas' Championship Match, and a look at the Washington Redskins in attendance, we are graced with some smoking hot Divas.

Mickie James, Gail Kim, and Kelly Kelly vs. Beth Phoenix, Rosa Mendes, and Alicia Fox

Beth and Gail started the physicality with Phoenix showing her strength and Kim showing her agility. Kim showed her agility by locking in a Japanese surfboard, but thanks to Rosa’s distraction, Beth was able to get control of the match as she tagged in Alicia Fox. Kim managed to slip out of Alicia’s grasp before tagging in the new Divas Champion.

Mickie went on the assault early with a reverse neck-breaker and flying head scissors. Kim returned into the ring with a blind tag to deliver a missile dropkick to ensure the victory for Team Mickie. As a fuming Phoenix looked on, Michael Cole was in the back.

Shaq was there having some fun with Hornswoggle before Michael Cole busted out “Shaq-alicious,” forcing the boss for the night to leave the office shaking his head.

Beat The Clock Challenge: Time to Beat: 6:49

MVP vs. Chris Masters

The crowd was still in shock at the return of The Masterpiece as the bell rings and the time began to drop down. MVP went for a quick roll-up followed by a samba take-down, but Masters showed no ring rust as he gunned for the Master Lock but settled for a devastating clothesline. MVP got some offense going with a kneeling clothesline before countering the Master Lock once again.

On the outside, Masters used his intelligence to keep MVP from getting back in the ring, and after locking in the Master Lock and forcing a double count-out, and because of the double count-out, the time to beat was still 6:49, held by Mark Henry.

Brian Kendrick vs. Kofi Kingston

Kendrick was attempting to berate Lawler for last week’s embarrassing loss, but he didn’t realize that the bell had rung, and as he turns around to get dropped with Trouble in Paradise. Kofi picked up his easiest, and undeniably quickest, victory.

In the back, Triple H was ambushed by Ted DiBiase on his way to the ring to face Cody Rhodes.

Beat The Clock Challenge: Time to Beat: Mark Henry with 6:49

Cody Rhodes vs. Triple H

Rhodes immediately gunned for the injured left leg of Triple H, but The Game showed what he was made of by not backing down from a fight. The Game applied a headlock take-over as the clock continued to count down. Rhodes finally got his big break as he took several shots at the injured leg, including wrapping it around the steel post twice.

Back in the ring, Rhodes turned his focus and his attack on the injured left leg of Triple H. With about three minutes left in the match, the gameplan of Legacy began to take its toll as the clock dropped to 2:30, but Triple H started to fight back once again.

As Triple H went for the Pedigree, Rhodes delivered a chop block before locking in the Figure Four Leglock. The Game managed to break out of the submission and delivers a clothesline with about 60 Seconds left in the match. Triple H delivered the Spine-buster. Thanks to Ted DiBiase, too much time was wasted as he delivered the Pedigree with one second left on the clock. Therefore, Mark Henry continued to have the time to beat.

In the back, Shaq was playing Scrabble to Santino when he took a moment to give some last minute pep talk with Cryme Tyme before Santino busted out a freestyle rap. It didn’t take long for him to be sent packing by the CTShaqC.

Hornswoggle vs. Chavo Guerrero

Before the bell, Lillian informed Chavo that he had to face Hornswoggle…blindfolded. As the bell rang, Chavo felt around, trying to find the sneakiest Leprechaun. After diving out of the ring, Chavo got an advantage…for a brief moment. After a close encounter with the referee, Hornswoggle got control with the Bullpuppy.

Chavo used a sneak peek to deliver a dropkick, but instead of going for the cover, he decided to go for the Frog Splash. Bear in mind he’s blind as a bat right now. As Chavo prepared to fly, Hornswoggle was just waiting on the outside. Hornswoggle delivered the Tadpole Splash to pick up his fourth victory over the Mexican Warrior.

As Randy Orton prepared to enter the arena, Jack Swagger came in to inform Orton that even though Triple H didn’t beat the clock, he planned on doing just that. As Orton looked back over, he stared eye-to-eye with the man he could possibly be facing at Summerslam: Mark Henry.

Beat The Clock Challenge: Time to Beat: 6:49 by Mark Henry

Jack Swagger vs. Evan Bourne

The bell rang, and the clock began counting down as Bourne ducked any take-down chances from Swagger. Swagger showed his strength, but Bourne showed off his agility with a head scissors take-down. Swagger continued the pressure by slamming Bourne hard to the ground. Swagger then locked in a Key Lock to keep the Aerial Maestro grounded.

Bourne started fighting back with a kick in the corner, but Swagger bounced back with a toss followed by the Sooner Splash. Swagger then prepared for the Swagger Bomb, but opts to inflict more damage on Bourne instead.

As Swagger went for the Swagger Bomb, Bourne countered into a modified roll up to pull off the unthinkable. Bourne pinned Swagger to keep Swagger out of the WWE Championship Match at SummerSlam. As Swagger looked on in disbelief, we learned that John Cena would have to face an old foe in order to Beat The Clock and advance to Summerslam to face Orton: The Miz.

Before the final match, Cole and King took a look back at the screw job delivered by Cody Rhodes and Ted DiBiase to Triple H. Following the footage, Triple H saw the error of his ways…in the form of Legacy. He then issued a challenge to Rhodes and DiBiase for next week’s RAW. With that, the Miz made his way down to the ring for yet another encounter with John Cena.

Miz came out trash talking the fans of Washington, DC. From the Wizards to the Redskins, no one was safe from the comments and spewing of The Miz.

Beat The Clock Challenge: Time to Beat: Mark Henry’s 6:49

The Miz vs. John Cena

As the show returned, Randy Orton had made his way to the ring for a “closer” look at the last Beat The Clock Match. Following a few poses, the Chain Gang General made his way to the ring to a raucous DC Crowd.

The bell rang and the clock, as well as Miz’s unbeatable strategy, officially began. The Miz started out by slipping out of the ring, but his plan hits a snag as he realized that in order for his plan to work, he had to get back in the ring. Back in the ring, Cena went on the assault, but as Miz tried to slip out, Cena was one step ahead as he dropped him with a clothesline.

Miz finally got on the offensive with a reverse chinlock as the WWE Champion looked on. Miz sent Cena to the outside and rammed him into the steps to continue the pressure on Cena as the clock drops to 3:20. Cena barely made the ref’s count. Miz locked in the ropes, but trouble only got started as Cena locked in the STF.

Miz had no choice but to tap out, and Cena won the Beat The Clock Challenge with 2:22 to spare. After a brief stare-down between the two, Cena celebrated with the Universe.

In the back, Shaq was making his way to the ring for arguably the “biggest” main event in RAW’s history.

Before the bell, we were informed that after tonight’s huge guest host, we would have to settle for Jeremy Piven of Entourage and the new movie, “The Goods.” With that, Shaq made his way to the ring for the main event.

The Big Show and Chris Jericho vs. Cryme Tyme

Jericho began by talking more smack to Shaq before getting physical with JTG. JTG delivered the Payday to Jericho, but only got a two-count for his troubles. After a cheap shot, Jericho was able to get control and tag in his partner, the World’s Largest Pile of Crap, Big Show.

Show came in and locked in the Full Nelson, all while taunting and smirking at Shaq. JTG tried to fight back, but after a devastating Spear, he was sent to the outside. Show continued his dominance by slapping JTG back into the ring. Jericho came in, and after striking a pose in front of Shaq, continued to deliver punishment to the shorter member of CTShaqC.

JTG started fighting back with the Brooklyn Neckdrop before tagging in Shad, with some help from Shaq. Shad came in like a house of fire. Following the Moneymaker Elbow Drop, Shad fought out of the Walls and tagged in JTG to hit the CT Neckdrop. Show came in and decimated both members of Cryme Tyme.

After trash talking the host, Show then called him in for a fight. Shaq wasted no time in jumping in to save his buddies.

After both men locked in chokeholds to prepare for the choke slam, Cryme Tyme played equalizer with kicks to the gut before Shaq delivered the Shaq Diesel that sent Show tumbling to the outside! As Cryme Tyme celebrated with Shaq, an stunned Show looks on with Christina Jericho as RAW went off the air with Diesel giving chase to a sprinting Big Show.

Attention TNA: WWE Just Served Your Asses in One Night!

Ron Johnson — Mon, 27 Jul 2009 02:37:43 -0400

Tonight, the WWE took its turn at the plate for pay per views. After last weekend's atrocious Victory Road, it was up to the WWE to give the Wrestling World what they deserved: A half-decent pay per view.

They didn't fail to disappoint one bit.

At WWE Night of Champions, we saw the crowning of several new champions, including Jeff Hardy becoming the World Heavyweight Champion for the second time.

That's right kids! Despite the entire Bleacher Report voting against Hardy winning the gold, the Cameron, North Carolina native survived the onslaught from CM Punk and became the Champion once again.

Even better, Mickie James made history as well as she became the second woman to win both the Women's Championship and Divas Championship by shocking Maryse at Night of Champions.

Christian outlasted Tommy Dreamer to become the ECW Champion just one month after losing the Triple Threat Match at The Bash. Chris Jericho shocked the world as he and his partner, The Big Show, decimated Priceless to retain the Unified World Tag Team Championships.

Kofi Kingston survived five other superstars to win the Six Pack Challenge and remain the United States Champion. Michelle McCool continued her winning streak over Melina by defeating her to retain the Women's Championship.

And then there's the main event of the evening.

Thanks to Legacy, Randy Orton was able to outlast both Triple H and John Cena to continue his Age of Orton Era on RAW. Deja Vu came full circle for Orton as he was able to relive his glorious victory of WrestleMania 24.

All in all, the pay per view was beyond decent...it was quite impressive actually.

Compared to last week's TNA Victory Road, Night of Champions was exactly what we expected and more. We expected some new champions, but no one was expecting Hardy to walk out of Night of Champions with the gold.

Unlike Victory Road, NoC left us all breathless and sweating for more. With RAW on the horizon, the WWE not only surpassed TNA's pay-per-view, it gave us a reason to pay more attention to the Universe and less to the Nation.

On the lighter side of TNA, they did give us one huge stunner when potential MEM member Bobby "God of Thunder" Lashley turned on the Mafia and saved the Hardcore, broken carcass of Mick Foley.

But other than that, it was the same old tired routine from the boys down South.

But this isn't about TNA. This is about Night of Champions and all the excitement it brought back to a dying art. Jeff Hardy has earned Superstar of the Night honors for his outstanding performance last night.

As for TNA, let's hope that they were paying attention, take notes and make their 200th Episode this Thursday night one that I would like to write about.

Congratulations WWE. You have earned your fans back.

As for TNA, you guys are just mad...Cause you suckers just got served...again!

WWE 'Superstars' Shock Therapy: One Step Closer To Invincibility

Ron Johnson — Thu, 23 Jul 2009 21:06:22 -0400

Tonight’s epic broadcast of Superstars goes live on WGN America with a blockbuster announcement of tonight’s main event: John Morrison vs. Kane. After that, the Peepulation is graced with the arrival of their Captain.

Christian vs. William Regal

The physicality begins quickly as Regal gets a brief advantage with a headlock before getting dropped with a headlock takeover from Christian. But thanks to some quick thinking, Regal gets complete control in the match. Christian is in some serious trouble when he bounces back with a spinning elbow off the top rope, but Regal again manages to get control once again by shoving Charisma off the top to the ground below.

Back in the ring, Regal continues the pressure on Christian’s neck before launching him into the turnbuckle before getting dropped out of the ring again.

Back on the program, Regal continues the punishment on Christian’s head by applying a modified Full Nelson. But all of a sudden, both men throw elbows at the same time, and Christian is once again on the outside of the ring. Both men beat the 10—Count, and Christian begins to unload on Regal with a pair of missile dropkicks.

Christian goes up top, but misses a diving head butt. Regal counters the Killswitch with a Reverse T—Bone, but only gets a two—count. Regal goes for the Knighting, but Christian dodges it and rolls him up with a Sunset Flip to get the victory over the Englishman.

Evan Bourne vs. Jamie Noble

Bourne goes on the offensive early with an arm wrench, but Bourne is able to get the advantage with a pair of arm drags and a standing dropkick. Noble picks up the pace with a hard elbow to the face. He drops a set of knees to keep Bourne grounded followed by a head wrench. Bourne prepares to go up top, but Noble cuts him off and drops him to the ground.

Noble delivers an elbow, but Bourne recovers with a quick spin kick. Bourne starts going on the offensive with kicks, head scissors and diving elbow. Bourne surprises Noble on the outside with a diving splash. And as Bourne goes for Airbourne, Noble cuts him off again. Noble delivers a superplex off the top rope, but is only able to get a two—count.

Noble gets caught with a kick to the back of the head, and Bourne delivers the Airbourne to pick up another hard—fought victory as a member of the RAW Roster.

Kane vs. John Morrison

Kane shows his raw power early with a vicious shoulder block, but Morrison shows his speed by avoiding the strength of the Big Red Machine. Back in the ring, the Shaman is able to clothesline Kane to the outside followed by a diving dropkick. But on the outside, Kane catches Morrison napping and rams him into the ring apron.

Back in the ring, Kane takes complete control with a falling dropkick before applying a hard headlock. Morrison tries to fight back with shots to the side of the head before using his innovative moves to keep the pressure off before delivering a dropkick. But Kane returns the favor by launching him over the top rope.

Back on Superstars, Kane has a reverse chin lock/colossal clutch to continue the pressure on the lower back of Morrison. Kane marches on with a delay suplex before applying a bear hug to continue the punishment on John’s lower back. Morrison manages to fight out of it and counters a Sidewalk Slam into a Tornado DDT. Morrison continues throwing punches followed by a set of dropkicks to drop the Big Red Monster to the ground.

Kane starts to fight back until Morrison drops the Shaman Wizard on the skull. Morrison counters a choke slam into a springboard roundhouse. Kane bounces back with a Sidewalk Slam, but Morrison bounces back again with a Pele followed by a forearm shot to the temple that sends Kane to the outside.

As Morrison sails off the top rope, Kane launches a steel chair into Morrison’s head. Kane then sends Morrison back to the ring to inflict more punishment…that is, until The Great Khali makes his presence felt. As Kane awaits Khali’s arrival, Morrison slams the chair on the back of Kane. Khali then tries to grab the leg of Kane, but the Big Red Monster manages to slip away.

Khali makes it clear that this war is far from over as he celebrates with the crowd as Superstars goes off the air.

WWE RAW Rewind: ZZ Has the Tush, But Triple H & Cena Have the Stroke

Ron Johnson — Mon, 20 Jul 2009 23:11:44 -0400

RAW goes live at NC State University with the crowd abuzz of the awaiting of tonight’s guest host. Instead, the show opens up with the arrival of the other co-#1 Contender for the WWE Championship at this Sunday’s Night of Champions, John Cena.

Cena takes a moment to soak in the admiration from the Wolfpack crowd before focusing on tonight’s guest hosts and this Sunday’s Night of Champions.

He then focuses his attention on the main event of this Sunday’s Night of Champions, but he is quickly interrupted by the WWE Champion, Randy Orton. The Legend Killer stalks to the ring to give his thoughts on the main event…and trip down memory lane with Cena.

Orton doesn’t hesitate to remind Cena that he kicked Triple H in the skull and pinned him to be victorious at that WrestleMania two years ago. He then promises that history will repeat himself.

But Cena cuts him off to focus back on the Guest Hosts. But before he focuses on the music, he thinks that maybe he should get an early start on this Sunday…tonight. With that, both men prepare to slug it out…at least that’s until Orton once again gets cold feet and walks out of the ring.

But Orton then tells him to rethink that, and with that, Legacy hits the ring. But Cena doesn’t back down from the challenge…he instead welcomes it…as well as a surprise backup in the form of Triple H.

Legacy again takes the coward road as they walk away from the three on one mugging they were trying to have. But Triple H has something to say: He doesn’t care if either he or Cena wins the championship this Sunday…just as long as Orton doesn’t.

Orton then decides to change the main event to include himself. But Cena shows his smarts, as well as Triple H, when they go back and forth about whether to accept the challenge.

But after the comedy ends, both men utter the two words Orton wasn’t expecting at the same time: WE ACCEPT!

With that, ZZ Top takes center stage to prepare for a little concert, when they’re interrupted by the Italian Stallion, Santino Marella. Billy Gibbons gives Dusty the signal to give Santino a special present: An honorary member of ZZ Top tonight!

Following a quick rewind of last Monday’s match between Big Show and Evan Bourne, the United States Champion makes his way to the ring.

We also learn that it will be Jack Swagger, Carlito, The Miz, Big Show, MVP & Kofi Kingston in a Six Pack Challenge for the US Championship at Night of Champions.

Kofi Kingston, Primo, & MVP vs. Jack Swagger, Carlito & Big Show

Swagger and Kingston get the physicality started with Swagger using that Amateur Wrestling background to his advantage. But Kingston counters out of it with a roll up before tagging in MVP.

MVP comes in and delivers a flapjack followed by the Ballin’ Elbow Drop. Swagger then rolls out of the ring and joins Carlito on the ground as Show berates them.

Back on the program, Kofi is in some serious trouble with Jack Swagger before Carlito comes in and continues the punishment. But Show make his way in and decimates the United States Champion.

After Show keeps the high flyer grounded, Carlito comes in to continue the pressure with a standing dropkick. Thanks to a distraction from Carlito, Kofi is able to tag in Primo. Primo takes the fight straight to his brother with a set of dropkicks followed by a leg drop.

Swagger manages to break up the pinfall, but MVP is able to take down the All American Jackass. But Big Show spears Carlito instead, Kofi uses the head scissors to eliminate Big Show and Primo delivers a flying head butt to get the win.

But after the bell, Show comes in and delivers 1) spear to Primo, 2) Chokeslams to MVP and Swagger and 3) The Knockout Punch to Kingston. As bodies lay in the ring, Show smiles at the carnage he left in the ring.

In the back, ZZ Top and Santino are talking about the Summer Tour with Aerosmith before Chris Jericho comes in to interrupt and decides to do a Jam Session with the duo.

But ZZ instead surprises Jericho by telling him that he’ll have a match…with Mark Henry. As Jericho asks “How?” ZZ busts out with a little La Grange to send the Ayatollah of Complete Bore-Dah out of the office.

Back on the program, The Brian Kendrick is trying to tell Cole and King to sell him up to be Jericho’s new partner at Night of Champions.

After attempting to berate him, and walking like a peacock on crack, Kendrick prepares for his opponent…which is shockingly enough, Jerry “The King” Lawler.

The Brian Kendrick vs. Jerry “The King” Lawler

After getting taunted, Lawler slaps the taste out of Kendrick’s mouth. Kendrick then takes the fight to the WWE Hall of Famer. But Lawler starts fighting back with jabs to the skull…even a dropkick!

Kendrick recovers enough to get dropped on his face as Lawler delivers the Royal Crown to pick up the upset win over Kendrick.

As Mickie James is getting interviewed by Todd Grisham, The Miz comes over and tries to sell up the Divas Champion…in other words, he spends the entire time kissing Maryse’s ass just so he can get a piece of it.

As Mickie shoots off at Miz, Maryse comes in and sprays hair spray directly into the eyes of her NOC opponent.

Chris Jericho vs. Mark Henry

After sprinting out of the ring to avoid the fight, Jericho gets dropped with a scoop slam from Mark Henry. But he manages to get some breathing room after taking Henry out at the knees.

Henry bounces back with a huge clothesline and the Big Swing. But as Henry goes for the World’s Strongest Slam, Jericho hits the faceplant.

In all his infinite wisdom, Jericho decides to go for the Walls of Jericho, only to have Henry launch him out of the ring. But Jericho jabs Henry with a steel chair to force the DQ.

But after the bell, Henry unleashes his fury by countering the Codebreaker into the World’s Strongest Slam.

Back in Dusty and Billy’s office, Chavo Guerrero comes in and gripes about having to face Hornswoggle week after week. So ZZ Top decides to fix the problem…by having to face Hornswoggle…in a Sharp Dressed Man Match.

Sharp Dressed Man Tuxedo Match

Hornswoggle vs. Chavo Guerrero

As the match begins, Chavo is having problems with his tux. Apparently someone sewed Chavo’s pant legs together.

As Chavo struggles with his wardrobe malfunction, Hornswoggle manages to remove Chavo’s shirt, jacket and tie. Chavo bounces back and manages to remove Hornswoggle’s shoes and jacket.

But Hornswoggle uses ingenuity to get control and manages to remove Chavo’s shoes and pants to win the first-ever Sharp Dressed Man Match.

In the back, Cena and Triple H are preparing for the match while they talk about this Sunday’s Night of Champions. Both men make it clear that they intend to bring their all not just tonight, but also this Sunday.

Back on the program, ZZ Top is having fun, but something seems to be missing…that’s when Kelly Kelly makes her way into the office. With that, it becomes a “Legs” Marathon with Kelly, Alicia Fox, Gail Kim, Rosa Mendes…and Santino!?

Santino rips the tear away pants and flaunts his best mankini followed by a chair dance and best air band impression.

Following a quick rundown of this Sunday’s Night of Champions, we are graced with the departure of Chris Jericho. But Legacy decides to poke fun at Jericho’s expense due in large part to Jericho not having a partner.

But Jericho shoots back by letting them know that he has held more championships than either Legacy and their fathers combined. He then makes it clear that even Randy Orton could be his partner.

Back on the program, we just found out that next week’s RAW Guest Host, following the anarchy of Night of Champions, will be none other than Four-Time NBA Champion, Shaquille O’Neal.

ZZ Top Legs Match

Kelly Kelly & Gail Kim vs. Alicia Fox & Rosa Mendes

Fox and Kelly get things started with Kelly showing her leg strength with a head scissors takedown. Kelly continues the control with Kim coming in to continue the fight.

But thanks to Rosa Mendes, Alicia is able to deliver a huge dropkick as Kim comes off the top rope. Mendes and Fox exchange tags, but both continue the punishment on Kim.

Fox tries to continue the pressure, but Kelly manages to tag in and fly a helicopter on Fox.

Following the Bump Bump, Kelly delivers a leg drop on the back of the neck. After Kim comes in to take care of Mendes, Fox manages to get the upset roll up victory over Kelly Kelly.

Three on Two Handicap Main Event

Randy Orton and Legacy vs. Triple H and John Cena

Before the main event, ZZ Top comes out to salute the crowd one more time…this time in one of their vintage Eliminator cars. Following a news brief about ZZ Top’s new DVD, out in October, Randy Orton interrupts their fun.

As the bell rings, Cody Rhodes plays his role as “scared little biznitch” well. But Cena is not letting that stop him as he takes the fight to Rhodes. Triple H then comes in and delivers a brain blooded suplex to Rhodes.

DiBiase comes in and tries to get a cheap shot on The Game, but one by one, all three members of Legacy fall to the floor. After Orton is sent packing, Legacy comes in and gets sent packing quickly over the other side.

Back on the program, DiBiase and Cena drop each other with clotheslines, but both men manage to tag in their partners.

Rhodes gets leveled with a Harley Race High Knee from Triple H followed by the Facebuster, but a distraction from Orton allows Legacy to take brief control.

And thanks to Orton’s interference, Legacy has complete control over The Game. Frequent tags allow Legacy to continue their punishment on Triple H, as well as cheap, dirty tactics from the Legend Blowhard.

Orton finally decides to come in after his biznitches handle the dirty work, but it doesn’t take long for him to tag in Rhodes. Rhodes has the advantage with a headlock, and he manages to position himself in between Triple H and John Cena.

The crowd continues to will The Game through this, but Rhodes continues to bore the crowd with technical garbage, before dropping him with a DDT.

Orton comes in and continues the assault before dropping to the ground for his vintage “I’m having a seizure right now. I'll be fine in five seconds” pose before getting dropped with a spine buster from The King of Kings.

Triple H and Orton are both down as Cena stalks the corner trying to get his partner in. Cena comes in and drops Rhodes with the Beantown Spinner followed by the 5-Knuckle Shuffle.

As Cena goes for the Adjustment, Rhodes counters, only to get caught in the STF. Triple H comes in and sends DiBiase packing. Orton comes in and guns for the punt, but Cena dodges the punt and gets the roll up victory over the WWE Champion.

Orton looks on in shock on the outside as Triple H and Cena look on and focus on the WWE Championship. Cena and Triple H shake hands before refocusing on Orton as RAW goes off the air.

Yawn..TNA Had a Pay-Per-View Last Night...and No One Watched It

Ron Johnson — Mon, 20 Jul 2009 22:21:20 -0400

So apparently there was a pay per view from TNA last night. It was called Victory Road, and like always, TNA beat WWE...

...in the most long-winded show ever.

The only thing I saw was the most atrocious show since...according to most of the wrestling fans, every single RAW for the past few months.

TNA had a chance to win the fans' respect last night (which they didn't), had a chance to get the advantage over WWE with those guys heading into Night of Champions (which they failed to get) and they had a chance to do something different (which didn't happen).

In other words, Victory Road didn't even garner one star from last night's show.

Seriously, did anyone really enjoy the show? Let's look at the results: The Main Event Mafia garnered all the gold last night, Angelina Love regained the Knockouts Championship and Samoa Joe defeated Sting.

Oh yeah...and Taz made his debut as Joe's handler last night.

Really? That's the best they can give us? Taz hasn't wrestled in years, 95 percent of the Mafia should be in the retirement home down the street from Universal Studios and in all honesty, they screwed up with the entire evening.

Not one surprise twist. We all saw the arrival of either Tazz or Bobby Lashley coming for the past month.

You could have at least surprised us with the arrival of Kennedy, who we all know is most likely heading to TNA after his 90-Day No Compete Clause is done with WWE.

You could have at least given us one huge shocker. But after this past Thursday's iMPACT, we all knew that the Mafia would most likely win all the titles at Victory Road.

We all knew that they wouldn't allow Kurt Angle to be defeated by someone as beyond their prime as Mick Foley. But what we didn't obviously know is that TNA doesn't give a damn about the fans. So why should we give a damn about them?

I'm serious. Why should we care what TNA thinks if they don't even listen to us?

Now they want us to join their TNAtion and follow TNA through practically everything. Unfortunately for TNA, we're a lot smarter than some of those slack-jawed yokels in Alabama and Mississippi who still think lynching is an Olympic Sport.

Contrary to popular belief, TNA has not impressed me in months. I actually called my cable company to ask for a refund after the show last night. When I told them why I wanted a refund, they emphatically accepted that and refunded the cash I spent to watch that garbage.

The supervisor then got on and told me I would have been better off watching scrambled porn instead of that garbage.

Guessing he was a huge wrestling fan as well.

In any event, TNA will be pointless to watch this Thursday night on Spike. Has anyone noticed that since Superstars came to TV, there have been no announcements about them breaking records.

So, TNA, you just screwed the militia of fans that you had by giving us a Main Event Mafia-sponsored pay per view.

Now, we're supposed to buy tickets to your lameduck shows in Orlando as well as your slapstick-style pay per view in Los Angeles? I wouldn't bank on it. I don't think anyone is that stupid.

And to prove it, I have decided that I will no longer write a recap for your weekly show on Spike until you guys step up and show me something. So, if anyone else wants to write TNA recaps, be my guest...

Because I would like to hold my lunch down for another week.

TNA, you get two thumbs down for Victory Road, two thumbs down for the past few months of iMPACT and two thumbs down for the atrocity of a company that you have regurgitated.

Anyone who wanted WCW-Reincarnated, guess what? You got it last night in all its glory. Thanks for the debacle.

We as the PW Section appreciate it...NOT!!!

PW Section Becomes Official Home of Project Mayhem

Ron Johnson — Fri, 17 Jul 2009 15:35:34 -0400

"Tonight, each one of you has a homework assignment. You're gonna go out and start a fight with a total stranger. You're gonna start a fight...and you're gonna lose."

These infamous words started a new revolution on the hit movie, Fight Club. What started in a crappy basement at Lou's Tavern quickly spread across a city and became known as Project Mayhem.

Today, I saw that the Pro Wrestling Section was following suit on the same floorplan.

Fight Club for us started back in April following the 25th Anniversary of Wrestlemania. It started with the departure of one CL (myself) and the arrival of two new ones (Shane and JLB). This move proved monumental as it gave me more time to focus on writing for other sites, and it also gave Shane and Jason a chance to prove their worth on the site.

Since then, the Section has been attacked, but it bounced back stronger and tougher than ever. Even now, there are naysayers who feel that the section is nothing more than a circus act. But with all the naysayers, they were nothing more than obstacles that were quickly run down by the power of talented writers such as Jason, Shane, Jev, Ray, Joe B., Elisa...even myself.

What? Did you think that I was going to not plug myself in my own article?

But this isn't about me. This is about a section that has gone Hollywood. The reason? If you haven't checked over at the Pro Wrestling Section, pay attention. Each week, Shane lets all of the wrestling writers know that there is a new homework assignment available on Jason's Profile Page.

I was curious and intrigued. I couldn't help myself, so I went and took a look at the page. What I saw was simply put, a list of tasks that did not need to be placed into an envelope. What followed was the arrival of what I called Pro Wrestling Section Becoming Project Mayhem.

In all honesty, we are Project Mayhem. We are that psychotic, unpredictable, brash, cocky and in all honesty, we are that damn good at what we do. We leave a lasting impression on everyone who comes to this site and reads our stuff. We have guys who have their own radio shows and talk about wrestling.

We have guys with their own blog sites that usually find themselves being linked back to the original place of origin: The Bleacher Report Pro Wrestling Section.

And that's a good thing, no doubt. There will be people who will want to know what our intentions are, and there are those who will ask us why are we broadcasted on a site that does mainstream sports. There will even be people who will we ask why we do what we do.

But we won't answer them. We will continue to write and show off the skills that we have honed and perfected. We will grow to become one of the best sections on this site. We will become better than TNAWrestling.com, WWE.com, even PWHeadlines.com. We are that good, and we will be recognized as that real soon.

So why won't we answer those critics?

Because "The First Rule of Project Mayhem is that You Do Not Ask Questions."

TNA iMPACT Slamback: Will Darkness Fall on The Original TNA?

Ron Johnson — Thu, 16 Jul 2009 23:04:44 -0400

Following the footage from last week, Mick Foley makes his way to the ring to talk about Victory Road and last week’s assault from the Main Event Mafia. Foley says that he makes it clear that he intends to win back the TNA World Heavyweight Championship.

However, he also realizes that if Angle remains champion at Victory Road, the company could possibly go straight to hell. So he calls out Angle to the ring, and Angle quickly makes his way to the ring.

Foley lets Angle know that he has let all the things that the Mafia has done to him slide, but what Eric Young did last week he could not accept. He also makes a guarantee that he will not tap out at Victory Road.

His second favor is that their match this Sunday is just between the two of them, one-on-one. As Angle begins to preach to Foley, former Mafia member Sting makes his way to the ring.

Sting makes it clear that all that Angle preached is a load of crap. He then says that Sunday, all hell will break loose. But until Sunday, Sting wants one last piece of Kurt Angle. Before Foley can answer, Angle accepts the challenge and makes it a Six Sides of Steel Match.

While Mike Tenay and Dumb West give the rundown of tonight’s broadcast, they receive word that Samoa Joe is decimating Amazing Red in the back.

Back on the program, Samoa Joe brings the fight down the ramp and into the ring. After Red comes in, the match officially begins for about five seconds.

After Joe shoves down Rudy Charles, the match is thrown out, but Joe doesn’t care. He continues the punishment until TNA Security comes in to break up the assault.

In the back, Lauren is interviewing Sarita about her debut match tonight against another new TNA Knockout, Alissa Flash. Meanwhile, JB tries to get Angle’s thought process about his decision to face Sting with the Six Sides of Steel surrounding the ring. Angle makes it clear that the only way to rid the Mafia of Sting is to eliminate him before Victory Road.

Chris Sabin vs. Suicide/Homicide vs. Suicide for the X-Division Championship

This match is almost pointless due in large part to Dumb West making himself the center of attention. But luckily, Suicide keeps things entertaining.

Sabin goes for the Cradle Shock, but instead delivers a boot to the chin. But Suicide bounces back and delivers the Suicidal Solution to pick up the win.

After the bell, Shelley comes in and helps Sabin knockout Suicide. Homicide comes in and clears the ring, only to cash in the X Division Championship Briefcase.

Homicide delivers the Gringo Killer to pull off the unthinkable and become the new X Division Champion.

Intermission: The Beautiful People

The former Knockouts Champion has announced that they have filed a formal complaint with PETA against new Knockouts Champion Tara. She then demands that Tara return the TNA Knockouts Championship to her. But as she tries to explain last week’s actions, the new Knockouts Champion arrives to the iMPACT Zone.

Tara makes two things clear. One, she will retain the Knockouts Championship at Victory Road, and second, Poison is in her Beekeeper’s Outfit. As Angelina rolls all over the ring, Tara sprints down and delivers the Widow’s Peak to the frightened champion.

Alissa Flash vs. Sarita

Flash comes in and spits gum straight into the face of Sarita, but Sarita fights back with a pair of locator-style moves that sends Flash out to the floor. Sarita continues the fun with a Suicide Dive to the outside.

But on the outside, Flash gets control with a body slam on the arena floor. Back in the ring, “The Future Legend” as she wants to be called, takes the fight straight to Sarita.

Sarita starts to fight back, but Flash fights out of the arm bar and hits the Mexican Curb Stomp. Despite getting dropped on the back of her head, Sarita counters the Cisco Driver into a roll up to get the upset victory. After the bell, Flash delivers a kick to the gut and drives her down with the Cisco Driver.

In the back, AJ Styles lets the Mafia know that he doesn’t fear them or Nash. He then guarantees that at Victory Road, Nash will cash his final paycheck.

Six Man Elimination Tag Team Match: MEM (Nash, Steiner & Booker) vs. Legends Champ AJ Styles & Tag Team Champions Beer Money

Styles and Steiner get the party started with Styles getting dropped with a shoulder block, only to return the favor before bringing in Robert Roode. After Steiner gets dropped with a toe hold, Booker receives a double suplex. Nash comes in and gets leveled by Styles, only to get Jackknifed and eliminated by Big Sexy.

Following the elimination, the Mafia takes complete control of the match. But James Storm manages to tag in and take the fight to Scott Steiner. But thanks to Booker T, Steiner nails the Wolverine to get the pin and eliminate James Storm. It is now down to all three members of Team Mafia against Robert Roode.

All three men take the fight to Roode, but a book end looks to be the end of the match. Unfortunately, Booker is not done yet.

Steiner comes in and delivers a belly to belly and places one finger on the chest of Roode. Nash comes in and continues the mugging on Roode with knees to the gut.

As Nash goes for the pin, the ref is distracted long enough for Roode to deliver a low blow and get the pinfall to eliminate Nash from the match. Steiner comes in and gets a little taste of what Roode has to offer.

As Morgan and Nash double team Storm, Roode takes the fight to his opponents for this Sunday. Roode delivers a spinning neck breaker followed by a spine buster to Booker T. As Roode guns for the Payoff, Sharmell does enough to allow Steiner and Booker to hit the Whack Off to get the win for the Mafia. But after the bell, Sharmell and Jenna finally have had enough of each other and begin to unleash some pent up fury on each other.

In the back, Team 3D gets a surprise handed to them; they will face the British Infestation for the IWGP World Tag Team Championships at Victory Road. With that, the 22-Time Tag Team Dynasty unleashes hell on the Infestation and the Un-Americans. With that, Tenay and Dumb West give the rundown of this Sunday’s Victory Road.

Following the rundown, Abyss calls out Dr. Stevie. Abyss announces that two things will happen: The whites are gone, and at Victory Road, he will have one last therapy session with Dr. Stevie…involving some hardware…and some thumbtacks…about 10,000 of them!

With that, Jeff Jarrett starts to make his way to the iMPACT Zone for the main event.

Six Sides of Steel Main Event: Kurt Angle vs. “The Icon” Sting

Before the match, Dumb West digs himself a deeper hole with the TNA Founder. Jarrett makes it clear that the less Dumb stays tonight, the better.

Sting gets the advantage with a quick shoulder block. After a quick stare down, the two lock up once again with Sting getting the toss followed by a headlock. But Angle shows that Greco-Roman Wrestling style with a counter and an arm bar.

Back on the program, the two former Mafia teammates slug it out with Sting getting the advantage with a huge pair of clotheslines. Angle tries to fight back, but gets whip-lashed into the steel and gets Stinger Splashed.

Angle begins to fight back, but becomes a bobble head on the cage. Sting tries to keep control, but Angle bounces back with a German Suplex.

But Sting has other plans as he locks in the Scorpion Death Lock. Samoa Joe comes in and takes out Jarrett before turning his attention to Sting.

As Sting continues control, the lights go out and reveal three simple letters: FTW.

As the light come back on, the Mafia takes out Sting, Jarrett and Foley as the mystery man’s music continues and the show fades to black.

WWE Superstars Shock Therapy: Strength In Numbers and Size Matters

Ron Johnson — Thu, 16 Jul 2009 21:13:49 -0400

Tonight’s broadcast opens up with CTC and Eve Torres.

Cryme Tyme vs. The Hart Dynasty

Thanks to an early cheap shot, David Hart Smith gets control of the match until a kick from Shad tackles Smith out of the ring followed by Tyson Kidd. Back on the program, Smith gets the upper hand with a Bridge on the leg of Shad Gaspard.

Kidd continues the assault on the left leg with a reverse leg lock. Smith returns into the ring to continue the assault until his partner Elroy comes in. But Shad manages to shove Kidd out of the ring and tags in his partner JTG.

JTG comes in and unloads on Kidd before delivering the shout out. After Shad drops Smith, and Eve dispatches of Natalya, JTG hits the Deal Breaker to get the victory over the Dynasty. Natalya looks on disgusted as CTE laughs at the Dynasty’s expense.

In the back, Rey Mysterio makes his way towards the ring to talk about the attack from Dolph Ziggler last week on SmackDown.

Intermission: Rey Mysterio Confrontation

Mysterio comes out and immediately talks about the attack from last Friday night. After the footage of last week’s SmackDown, Mysterio tells Ziggler to challenge him like a man.

As Mysterio begins to insult him in his native tongue, Ziggler makes his way out to explain his actions…even more says that he did it to make a name for himself. Mysterio then lets it be known that Ziggler has done nothing more than show that he’s a peacock.

Ziggler gets insulted after Rey makes it clear that he’s beaten better than him. Ziggler then decides that he will not fight Rey tonight…but at Night of Champions for the Intercontinental Championship, a challenge that is quickly accepted by Mysterio.

Mysterio then calls Ziggler to the ring to properly introduce him to the 619. Dolph makes his way towards the ring, and after getting chased, almost gets caught with the 619.

Katie Lea Burchill vs. Brie Bella

Katie goes on the offensive early, but Brie uses her unorthodox style to get control of the match. Brie goes for a cross body, but Katie Lea catches her and drops her with a backbreaker. Brie bounces back with a clothesline followed by a set of takedowns. Brie is sent out of the ring, but her twin sister drops to the ground with her.

After the duo gets up and back into the ring, everyone, including the ref, are confused about who is who. After one Bella is sent outside, the other rolls Katie up to get the win.

Following a quick RAW Rewind featuring RAW’s Guest Host Seth Green, it’s time for tonight’s main event between the World’s Largest Athlete and the United States Champion.

Kofi Kingston vs. Big Show

Kingston tries to use his kicks and his quickness to get control, but Big Show delivers a huge boot to the side of the face to get control. Show continues the dominance with shots to the back, a head butt and a stepover.

As Kingston starts to fight back, he gets leveled with a massive clothesline followed by another head butt. Show forcefully brings Kingston back into the ring with a huge chop. Show begins to stalk his prey, and Kingston continues to fight back.

Kingston continues to mount some offense, but Show drops him again with a Sidewalk Slam, only to get a two count. As Show continues his dominance, Kingston begins to fight back. But Show catches him and delivers an Alley Oop.

Show then tries to apply the Colossal Clutch, but Kingston bounces back and manages to get Big Show off his feet.

Following the Boom Leg Drop, Kingston goes for Trouble in Paradise, only to get it blocked and fall victim to the Showstopper. Show easily gets the cover and secures his second win over the high flyers this week.

WWE RAW Rewind: Robot Chicken Goes Live!

Ron Johnson — Mon, 13 Jul 2009 23:18:43 -0400

RAW in Orlando opens up with the arrival of the co-No.1 Contender for the WWE Championship at Night of Champions, Triple H. After soaking in the huge ovation that the crowd in South Florida gives him, The Game just smiles and enjoys the fun! He then introduces that night’s RAW guest host: Seth Green!

The Robot Chicken Co-Creator comes out to a raucous crowd of his own. Green shows how ecstatic he is by throwing a Six-Diva Swimsuit Spectacular as his first order of business. Triple H, then, talks about Robot Chicken’s season premiere and the biggest addition to it: Triple H. The clip shows Dakota Fanning beating the tar out of Triple H before John Cena comes down to save The Game.

Both men then focus their attention on Randy Orton before the WWE Champion makes his appearance on the broadcast.

Orton comes out and makes it obvious that he is the WWE Champion before turning his attention to the Guest Host of the Night. Triple H then jumps in and says that he should face Orton tonight.

After Orton makes it clear that both he and Cena will lose tonight, Triple H then offers to drop him right then right there. Orton then leaves the ring, only to have Seth Green let him know that Legacy will team with Orton to face Triple H, John Cena…and himself?

As all three men stare each other down, Kelly Kelly makes her way to the ring for the Six-Diva Swimsuit Spectacular.

Six Diva Swimsuit Spectacular Match: Kelly Kelly, Gail Kim & Mickie James vs. Maryse, Rosa Mendes & Alicia Fox

Team Kelly gets control of the match right off the bat with control of Rosa and Alicia. But Rosa uses her cunning skills to get brief control of her opponent before tagging in Alicia Fox. Fox applies a headlock, but Kelly manages to get herself out of the submission before delivering a clothesline. Both women tag in Night of Champions opponents Maryse and Mickie. Mickie has complete control with a hurrcanrana followed by the Lou Thesz Splash.

An all-out catfight ensues that allows Maryse to get complete control with the Au Revoir to pick up the win over her Night of Champions opponent.

After the bell, Chris Jericho interrupts Seth Green by boasting about himself and insulting the fans as well as his Boss for the Night. Green finally has enough of Jericho’s antics and decides that it’s best for him to leave RAW and the building tonight. Jericho then decides that he has something to say and will say it tonight before leaving Seth’s office.

Primo vs. The Miz

Nothing much here except for, thanks to Carlito, The Miz picks up the win. After the bell, Carlito continues to punk his brother, even going as far as to spit his trademark apple in his face. Sorry people, but Albert Pujols was up in the Home Run Derby, so that took precedence to this match.

Following a quick rewind from Hornswoggle, Big Show comes in and cracks jokes at the expense of Seth Green.

MVP vs. Jack Swagger

Swagger is completely thrown off his game right off the bat, and has no problem letting Cole and King know about it. Back in the ring, Swagger gets control after shoving MVP into the steel post, but MVP bounces back and delivers the Ballin’ Elbow Drop to continue the pressure on Swagger. Swagger uses the injured arm to unload the Swagger Bomb to get his first official victory as a member of the RAW roster.

In the back, Jericho struts his way towards the ring to make his speech.

Intermission: Edge’s Surgery and Jericho’s Speech

Jericho comes out and insults the fans, Seth Green, even his former partner, Edge. He then reveals that he placed a clause in his contract that says that in the event that Edge would be injured, he would be allowed to choose a new partner. Just as he says that, Mark Henry makes his way down to the ring. Henry decides that he didn’t come out there to be his partner. He came out to be his opponent instead.

With that, Henry begins to decimate one half of the Unified WWE Tag Team Champions. Jericho slides out of the ring and begins to walk away until it becomes clear that Jericho will be fighting Mark Henry via the announcement by RAW Host Seth Green.

Chris Jericho vs. Mark Henry

Henry shows complete dominance throughout the beginning of the match, and as Jericho tries to get an advantage, Henry levels him with a brick wall tackle. Jericho then decides to walk out of the match and take the count-out loss as Henry celebrates in the ring.

Hornswoggle vs. Chavo Guerrero—Chavo has to Wrestle with one hand tied behind his back

Hornswoggle shows his fun side by kicking him in the keister. As Chavo tries to get control, Hornswoggle bites his hand delivers some punches. Hornswoggle has complete control as he delivers the Stinkface before getting caught with a boot to the mouth. Chavo shows that mean streak by stomping on the little guy, but as he goes for the Three Amigos, Hornswoggle gets the small package to pick up his second upset-victory over the Latin Warrior.

In the back, Ted DiBiase is talking about his actions last week when Cody Rhodes drops a bombshell that Dusty Rhodes might be next week’s Guest Host. After a heated encounter with his Legacy partner, Orton makes it clear that their job is to take out Cena and Triple H, but as for Seth Green, Orton intends to take him out, personally.

Big Show vs. Evan Bourne

Bourne tries to fight the good fight, but Big Show uses his raw power and size to get control of the match. He then applies a Butterfly submission and turns it into a Butterfly Toss before walking on the abdomen of the high flyer.

Despite all his efforts, Bourne gets dropped with a Spear followed by the Colossal Clutch as Show gets the win. When Show refuses to break the hold, Kofi Kingston comes in and delivers two kicks to the World’s Largest Athlete to send him packing.

In the back, Santino is sent away by Triple H and John Cena, who grace their partner with their presence. Following a quick punk out by the duo, Seth Green takes another hit from his inhaler before wiping the sweat from his brow. Before the break, we find out that next week’s RAW Telecast at NC State University will have two guest hosts: ZZ Top!

Six-Man Tag Team Match: The Legacy vs. Triple H, John Cena & Seth Green

Cena and Triple H have control of the match, and shockingly enough, Seth Green tags in and delivers a huge punch to Cody Rhodes. As Rhodes gives chase, Triple H levels him on the outside, but thanks to Orton, Legacy gets control.

Orton comes in and nails the Rope DDT. A set of double-teams allows Legacy to continue the assault on Cena. Cena powers out of the Full Nelson, but both men deliver a pair of huge clotheslines. Orton comes in, followed by Triple H, who nails the Harley Race High Knee followed by the Face-buster.

Triple H takes out Legacy before delivering a Spine-buster to Orton, but thanks to Legacy, Orton hits the RKO, but Green jumps in to make the save. Orton then drops Green with a kick to the gut. Rhodes comes in with a steel chair, but Triple H brings in his trusty sidekick, the sledgehammer. After clearing the ring, Triple H and Cena stare eye to eye with one another. The crowd begins to chant “SETH!” as his partners celebrate the victory before staring down his opponent for Night of Champions.

As Seth Green rides the shoulders of Triple H, and Cena throws the “You Can’t See Me” to Legacy, RAW goes off the air, knowing that ZZ Top is coming to RAW next week as the next Guest Hosts.

It's Time To Go: People TNA Should Cut Ties With Right Now

Ron Johnson — Mon, 13 Jul 2009 18:46:28 -0400

After watching TNA iMPACT the last few weeks, I have to say that I am extremely sick of what I have been seeing.

Every week, it's the same song and dance for these yahoos, and they expect everyone to suck it up and enjoy it. Well, it stops now, Dixie Carter.

It ends now Jeff Jarrett.

It ends now TNA.

After going through hours and days of tape to see what the fans thought of certain matches. And now, I'm here to release a few names that TNA should get rid of...not now, but right now.

No. 1: Eric Young

Yeah sure, he had his funny moments back in the day, but since the dissolution of Team Canada, Young has been nothing more than the butt-end of ass whippings from Rhino, Jarrett and a host of other big names.

Now we have to see this diabolical side of Young in which he is the guy who is tired of getting looked over by TNA Management.

Really? Is this the best that the TNA writers can give us?

EY is not as enjoyable as he used to be. So far, he hasn't won any major championships, and the only championships he has won in the past year is the X Division Championship...for less than an hour.

TNA, either make him a main-event caliber superstar or cut him loose. Young has the talent to be successful in any promotion. But if he stays in TNA, he may never get a shot at any major championship in the future.

No. 2: Stevie Richards

Correct me if I'm wrong, but haven't they done this whole stalker/motivator storyline enough times already?

Richards had a severe injury that sent him out of the ring, so TNA brings him to be the "therapist" to Abyss. Since his identity was revealed (like we didn't know it was him already), he has reverted back to his old-school Extreme side.

But other than being a thorn in the sides of Abyss and TNA interviewer Lauren, he has been completely and utterly pathetic. He is flat out boring when he's out there screaming in that "nail on the chalkboard" voice about doing this for his own good.

He used that same line during his stint as leader of Rights to Censor during the WWF Attitude Era. So TNA, either stick his ass in the ring, or stick his ass back to the unemployment line. In fact, put him in the ring against me, so at least that way, I can shut him up for a change.

No. 3: The British Invasion

I'm not saying fire these guys completely. But if I wanted to see two guys who loved to hear themselves talk and a muscle bound freak of nature, I would just watch old videos of the original D-Generation X.

In all honesty, this has to be the British version of DX, and we all know that there are some things that the Brits can't top the Americans on.

In any event, these three goons running around backstage beating the hell out of TNA Talent, taunting future wrestling Hall of Famers and stealing briefcases from certain superstars, it reminds me of Los Guerreros and DX combined.

Unfortunately, they are not DX or Los Guerreros. They're just three guys with bad hairstyles and underhanded tactics to piss off the fans.

The fans are getting tired of these guys already, and with the exception of Brutus Magnus, these guys haven't been around for a whole year.

Would any of us lose any sleep if these guys were canned tomorrow?

Didn't think so.

No. 4: Jeremy Borash

Does anyone want to know a good drinking game?

I call it Borash Bash.

Simply put: Every time JB even opens his mouth and says something, you have to take a drink of the one liquor that makes you wish that "whatever happens here, stays here."

In the beginning, Borash was a breath of fresh air, but since his new skin tone (brown nosing), he has been nothing more than a severe hemorrhoid that won't go away. From his constant ass-kissing in regards to the Main Event Mafia to his constant kissing up to TNA Executive Shareholder Mick Foley, I have officially had my fill with JB.

If TNA needs a fresh face, which they do, I hear Funaki, formerly SmackDown's No. 1 announcer, is looking for a change of scenery.

No. 5: Dumb West

Yeah, I know this guy's name is Don, but since his new attitude, I have called him "Dumb" because he has proven beyond a shadow of a doubt that he has no idea what he's talking about.

If there is one thing that I had more than anything, it's the flip-flopper. And Dumb West is the King of Flip Flopping, overtaking former crown-holder Jay Mariotti (but not by much).

West continues to trash the veterans of the company as well as a few of the newcomers, only to pull a JB when they're a raised eyebrow away from him.

It's obvious that the Face/Heel chemistry of Tenay and West has been pretty interesting, but their storyline is losing its thunder as well. It's so bad, that TNA decides to put guys like Booker T and Kevin Nash, Team 3D and Beer Money at the table just to keep things interesting.

If that's not enough proof that one or both has to go, I don't know what is.

There are more names to choose from, but those are the ones that jumped out at me right off the bat. In my opinion, TNA could become even more successful with the departure or shaking up of these individuals.

But that's just my opinion...I could be wrong.

Mad about Brock Lesnar? Too Bad, Because You Made Him This Way...

Ron Johnson — Mon, 13 Jul 2009 11:36:55 -0400

This past Saturday night, we saw the most dangerous man in Mixed Martial Arts deliver a serious shot of reality to the worlds of both MMA and Professional Wrestling.

Translation: Brock Lesnar got revenge last Saturday night.

At UFC 100, Lesnar decimated Frank Mir in the first round, and then polished him off as the second round was getting underway. Following the knockout victory, Lesnar told Mir exactly what he thought of him, gave the crowd a two-fingered salute, and bashed Bud Light.

That was the happiest moment of my life.

I saw the old, intimidating Lesnar from his days as WWE Champion in a different light. Now, almost two days later, everyone is calling it a "pathetic display of sportsmanship by a champion."

Does no one remember this year's NBA MVP walking off the court after the Cavaliers were shocked by Orlando in the Eastern Conference Finals? How about Kobe taunting the Denver crowd practically every time he stepped onto the court and dominated following that little incident in Eagle County?

Now Lesnar, who was dubbed "a muscled baboon" by several members of the media as well as fans, returned the favor by proving that he belonged among the elite in the UFC.

What makes Lesnar so different from YouTube sensation Kimbo Slice? In case you haven't heard, Slice is slated to be one of the individuals that will be on the upcoming season of "The Ultimate Fighter: Team Rampage vs. Team Suga."

After dealing with that debauchery known as EliteXC, Slice has seen the light and will get his chance to prove how good he really is against some of the biggest and baddest men in MMA.

Everyone praised the unorthodox attitude of Slice...yet when Lesnar silences his critics in the best way possible, people demand that he be punished for it.

The guy is an MMA fighter! How much more punishment do you want him to have?

Dana White has spoken his peace and made it clear that his champion overreacted, but the fact that he apologized for it shows that he is human. I feel, after the public said he was nothing more than a paper champion, he deserved to speak his peace.

In all seriousness, how many of us were expecting Frank Mir to make it 2-0 against Lesnar? Who thought that Lesnar's victories over Heath Herring and UFC Hall-of-Famer Randy Couture were just flukes? How many of us considered Lesnar a legitimate UFC Heavyweight Champion before Saturday night?

Even now, his post-fight actions will have people demanding that UFC strip him of the title and suspend him indefinitely.

Here's a thought: Think about all the times you insulted Brock Lesnar and didn't consider him a legitimate champion.

Now...think about how Brock feels, knowing that not only did he avenge his UFC Debut loss to Mir, he stuck to a game plan and knocked out the UFC Legend.

Brock Lesnar has the tools and the talent to become one of the best in the business.

Now that he's gotten all of the WWE out of his system, he can now officially focus on becoming the most dominant heavyweight in the UFC today.

And for those who didn't like his actions from Saturday night, that's just too damn bad. Because when you think about it, all of you naysayers made him this way.

"There's no way a WWE actor can make it in a real physical sport."

Look at him now.

WWE RAW Rewind: Everybody Pays a Price

Ron Johnson — Mon, 06 Jul 2009 23:34:00 -0400

The show opens up with the arrival of The Million Dollar Man, Ted DiBiase.

DiBiase arrives to the ring with his son and Cody Rhodes in tow. After building up Legacy, he decides to have a little fun.

He announces that Edge-icho will face Legacy for the Unified Tag Team Championships. As for tonight, he decides that Cody Rhodes will face Mark Henry, and his beloved son will face…his leader, Randy Orton!

With that, Big Daddy DiBiase leaves the ring just as Edge-icho make their way to the ring.

Edge-icho vs. The Colons

Carlito gets early control with punches in the corner, but Edge gets the upper hand with a big boot to the moosh. Jericho comes in and continues the assault with a straight elbow to the chops.

Following a back suplex, a smug Jericho tags in Edge. Thanks to some cheap tactics, Edge-icho continues to have the upper hand. Jericho comes in and applies a reverse chin lock to Carlito, but Carlito gets out of the submission with a springboard elbow.

Primo comes in and takes the fight to Edge-icho. After a head scissors takeover, Primo hits the cross body. But thanks to a distraction from Carlito, Jericho delivers the Code Breaker followed by Edge landing the Spear to get their third straight win over the Colons.

After the bell, however, Carlito vents his frustration by running his brother into a steel post and slugging it out with him on the outside before tossing him over the announcers table.

As a distraught Carlito walks away, Ted DiBiase is torn between his father and his leader. But after Orton goads the subject, the younger DiBiase gets more motivated to beat The Legend Killer tonight.

Maryse and Alicia Fox vs. Mickie James and Gail Kim

Maryse starts out dodging her NOC opponent before getting control with a hair pull. But Mickie fires back as Alicia Fox comes in. Gail Kim comes in and continues the punishment on Fox.

But following a few cheap tactics from both Fox and the Divas Champion, Fox is able to get the upper hand. The Divas Champion comes in and delivers a backbreaker. But Kim ducks a drop, but is unable to get the tag.

Instead, she hits the Chin Check to get the upset victory over the Divas Champion.

In the back, Ted DiBiase is getting his ass kissed and bribed by Cody Rhodes. But the Million Dollar Man makes it clear that he despises Dusty Rhodes simply because he was a Common Man.

With that, he decides to punish Cody by forcing him to wear the same Polka Dots outfit that his father wore.

Following a quick WWE Slam of the Week from Auto Zone, we are graced with the arrival of Cody Rhodes.

Cody Rhodes vs. Mark Henry

Henry has complete control of the match with kicks to the gut, but Cody tries to fight back. But Rhodes gets caught with a World’s Strongest Slam before crawling out of the ring and taking the countout loss.

Following the match, John Cena is in the back getting ready for his huge match with The Game.

Randy Orton vs. Ted DiBiase

Orton gets control with a tight headlock on his protégé. But Orton’s cockiness gets the best of him as Ted gets control with a set of punches and dropkicks that sends Orton to the outside of the ring.

Back in the ring, Orton has reapplied a headlock to DiBiase. Orton starts stalking his prey with his trademark stomp to the body parts of DiBiase. But as DiBiase fights back, Orton starts showing emotions and anger in the fact that his protégé continues to fight back.

After second guessing himself for a moment, Orton drops Ted with his patented DDT…but Ted kicks out not once, but twice. But TJ fights out of the assault with a back suplex. TJ hits the elbow followed by a flying elbow off the top rope.

Despite getting a two-count, Ted continues to fight back. After a backbreaker, Orton decides that hitting the RKO would be a bad thing, but goes for it anyway. Following a backslide, Ted delivers a power slam, but only gets a two-count.

Orton counters Dream Street into the RKO to pick up the win over his protégé. But instead of checking on his partner, he walks away from the ring. But before he does, he salutes his partner.

In the back, Triple H makes it clear that tonight’s match, though epic, is about getting even with Randy Orton and taking the WWE Championship from the Legend Killer.

Intermission: MVP’s VIP Lounge

MVP starts off by talking about the trade that Donald Trump made before he sold the company back to Vince McMahon. With that, MVP introduces his guest: Jack Swagger.

MVP starts off by calling Swagger a fraud for getting himself counted out last week against Randy Orton in his debut. Swagger then rebuttals by saying that MVP is nothing more than a fraud and a con.

MVP then admits that he did make some bad decisions. With that, MVP starts losing his bling and his shirt and makes it clear that, unlike Swagger, he has never been afraid of a fight.

The two stare down before Swagger makes an excuse before leaving the ring. MVP makes it clear that if he ever wants to find his manhood and step up to the Franchise Playa, he can find him in the VIP Lounge.

In the back, Ted Jr. is chastising his father for putting him in the match, claiming that he set him up to fail. With that, he slaps the taste out of his mouth before he tells him “Thanks a lot…Dad!” and walks out of the office.

Kofi Kingston vs. Evan Bourne

The two start the match by sizing each other up. The two challenge each other before Kingston gets control with a single leg Boston Crab. He follows it up with a headlock, but Bourne gets control with leg scissors.

Kingston continues the pressure with a corner cross body, but Bourne gets the advantage by blocking the cross body and landing the Airbourne to pick up the upset win over the United States Champion.

Following the win, both men show respect before getting interrupted by the Big Show. Kingston tells Bourne to leave the ring, but Bourne stays in a corner.

Show comes in and takes the fight to Kingston. But Bourne tries to fight the World’s Largest Athlete before getting tossed to the other side of the ring. Show spears Bourne before punching the lights out of Kofi Kingston.

He then applies the Camel Clutch to choke out Kingston before leaving the ring.

Before the main event, John Cena responds to Triple H’s comments earlier. Cena makes it clear that he respects The Game, but he intends to give the fans what they want.

In other words, the four simple words that he hasn’t said since WrestleMania: The Champ Is Here! With that, Triple H makes his entrance to the ring.

No. 1 Contender’s Match for WWE Championship Match at Night Of Champions

Triple H vs. John Cena

The two start off with a quick stare down followed by a glance into the crowd. The two are battling back and forth not just in the ring, but in the crowd. Following a quick conversation in the center of the ring, the two slug it out following the match.

But Cena gets control by sending Triple H reeling over the top rope. But Triple H blocks an Attitude Adjustment and shoves Cena into a steel ring post as RAW takes its final break.

Back in the ring, Triple H continues to have control over the Chain Gang Commander. But Cena starts fighting back with a hip toss followed by a Fisherman’s Suplex. But Triple H gets control once again as he focuses on the lower back of Cena.

The two men slug it out before Triple H nails the knee to the gut, but Cena delivers a pair of shoulder blocks before hitting the Beantown Bomb and five-Knuckle Shuffle. Triple H blocks the Adjustment and hits the Facebuster followed by the clothesline.

The Game follows it up with the Spinebuster as Cena starts to stagger up. But Cena counters the Pedigree into a shoulder back toss. But The Game locks in a Sleeper Hold. Cena counters the Sleeper into a Sleeper of his own. Triple H starts to will himself back into the match as he counters it into a back suplex.

The two begin to slug it out back and forth as they get back to their feet. Triple H gets control with a series of shots, but Cena bounces back with a Throwback, but misses the Boston Crème Pie Leg Drop.

Cena counters the Pedigree again, but Triple H counters the Adjustment again as well. Cena guns for the STF, but Hunter reaches the ropes as he locks it in.

Both men gun for their finishers, but counters continue to keep the match going. Following a double clothesline, both men are down as the ref begins the count.

Both men beat the count and begin to slug it out. But as they battle it out, DiBiase and Rhodes jump in and beat the tar out of them before sprinting out of the ring.

As Orton makes it clear that he will not face either of them, The Million Dollar Man comes out and makes it clear that at Night of Champions, Randy Orton will go against both Triple H and John Cena in a Triple Threat Match for the WWE Championship.

Orton fumes as Triple H and Cena look on as RAW goes off the air.

WWE SmackDown Rebound: An Extreme Bird's-Eye View

Ron Johnson — Fri, 03 Jul 2009 23:01:33 -0400

SmackDown opens with the World Heavyweight Champion, CM Punk. Punk comes out and says that he is tired of the allegations that he cheated to keep the World Title.

After showing footage of the main event from The Bash, Punk makes it clear that his kick to the official on Sunday was an accident.

But Punk says that Hardy’s actions after the bell was inexcusable as he attacked the World Heavyweight Champion after the match was over.

Punk begins to focus on a rematch with Hardy, but in order to get the rematch, Hardy must first apologize. But instead of Hardy coming out, SmackDown GM Teddy Long comes out to the ring.

Long comes out and makes it clear that it doesn’t matter whether he was taking a cheap shot or not. He then decides that Punk will face Hardy for the World Heavyweight Championship at Night of Champions.

He then makes a huge main event for tonight: The WWE Unified Tag Team Champions Edge-icho will face the team of Jeff Hardy…and CM Punk.

With that, the Charismatic Enigma makes his entrance into the SmackDown Kingdom, much to the delight of the Fresno crowd.

Hardy comes down and confronts the World Champion. After a shoving match between the two, Punk begins to focus on tonight by giving Hardy some advice: Just Say No.

With that, Punk leaves the ring mouthing those same three words to Hardy before walking away smiling.

Ricky Ortiz vs. Finlay

Before the bell, Ortiz tells Finlay to drop that shillelagh, lose the frown and rally up. Finlay responds by slapping the taste out of his mouth.

As the match begins, Finlay takes the fight to the outside, only to have Ricky regain control with a power slam on the outside. Back in the ring, Ortiz delivers a back suplex, but gets caught with the knees to the gut.

Finlay regains control with The Rolling Hills followed by the Irish Carbomb. As Finlay goes for the Celtic Cross, his back gives. But as Ortiz goes for the Rally Bomb, Finlay counters into the Celtic Cross to pick up the win on his first night back on SmackDown.

In the back, Dolph Ziggler is doing Yoga when Maria walks up and says that she had fun with him last night. Ziggler tries to play it cool and throws out his "whatever" attitude.

Dolph Ziggler vs. R-Truth

Ziggler starts off the physicality with a shot to the gut, but it doesn’t take long for R-Truth to recover and get control of the match. But thanks to a distraction, Ziggler regains control with a physical head smash.

Truth recovers and takes the fight to Dolph. After nailing the bicycle kick, Truth gets caught on the ropes, allowing Ziggler to hit The Intro to get a huge upset victory over R-Truth.

Back on the program, we are enjoyed by a live version of Word Up with Cryme Tyme with special guests Eve Torres, Layla El, Jimmy Wang Yang and Jesse The Wanksta.

Following a slaughtering of the Word Up Language, this week’s edition of Word Up is cut short…for the arrival of the new Intercontinental Champion.

Rey Mysterio vs. Kane

Mysterio uses his speed to try to get control, but Kane derails him with a massive clothesline. Kane takes control in the corner with a series of shots.

Mysterio recovers and gets a chance to hit the 619, but Kane catches him with a choke slam attempt. After Mysterio blocks the choke slam attempt, he gets leveled with a choke toss to the corner.

Back on SD, Kane delivers a big boot to the skull of Mysterio, but Mysterio continues to kick out. After a huge Irish whip, Mysterio rolls to the outside. Kane slips out on the other side to continue the punishment on the Intercontinental Champion before rolling back in to allow the ref to make the count.

After barely making the 10-Count, Mysterio returns to receive more punishment from the Big Red Monster. Kane continues to focus on the back of Mysterio with a backbreaker, but Mysterio starts to fight out with knees to the side of the head of Kane.

Mysterio starts fighting back with a springboard splash followed by a tornado DDT and a diving dropkick. But as he comes off the top rope, he gets dropped with a huge uppercut…only to kick out once again.

Mysterio ducks the choke slam and drops Kane on the rope to deliver the 619. But as he goes for the West Coast Pop, Kane catches him with a choke slam to pick up the win in his first official night on SmackDown.

After the bell, Kane picks Rey up again to deliver another choke slam, but Kane is interrupted by the arrival of The Great Khali. As Khali makes his way down, Kane runs away from the fight as a chair-wielding Punjabi Playboy charges towards him.

In the back, Chris Jericho and Edge are letting everyone know that they intend to prove that they are the dominant force in the WWE today.

Both take shots at the World Heavyweight Champion before making it clear that they will prove tonight that they are the dominant force in the business today. With that, both men walk away to prepare for the main event.

The Hart Dynasty vs. Cryme Tyme

JTG and Tyson Kidd start the match with Kidd getting control in the corner. But JTG hits the Payoff, but gets caught by David Hart Smith.

The Dynasty gets complete control of the match and JTG with a reverse submission in the middle of the ring. JTG gets a brief breather, but Kidd continues the punishment by reapplying the submission.

But JTG breaks the assault up with the Brooklyn Breaker to bring in his partner. Shad comes in and drops Kidd before taking down Smith with the Cash Money Elbow Drop.

Kidd comes in and breaks the pinfall, but thanks to JTG, Shad hits the CTC to get the victory and break the streak for the new kids on the block.

Layla & Michelle McCool vs. Maria & Melina

Following a distraction from the new Women’s Champion, Layla tries to get control. After the onslaught from both McCool and Layla, Maria finally does enough to get out of the match and get Melina in.

Melina comes in with some innovative moves to take down Layla. After a cheap shot on Michelle, Melina nails the Primal Scream to get the pinfall before staring down the Women’s Champion.

Michelle wastes no time in slipping out of the ring to avoid any more physicality with the former Women’s Champion.

Following a quick WWE Rewind of last week’s match between John Morrison and CM Punk, Morrison and Teddy are reliving their favorite Michael Jackson moments before the arrival of the Unified Tag Team Champions.

Edge-icho vs. CM Punk and Jeff Hardy

Punk opts to start the match along with Edge. Punk gets control with an arm wrench before tagging in his “partner” Jeff Hardy. Hardy comes in and drives Edge’s head into a corner before locking in an arm wrench and tagging Punk back in.

Following a series of tags between the two, Jericho comes in to get dropped with a Extreme Leg Drop. Jericho gets caught with a Poetic Leg Drop before Punk comes in and focuses on the left arm of Jericho.

Punk sets up and Hardy finishes the Poetry in Motion to send both of the Unified Tag Team Champions to the outside.

Back on SD, the Enigma is stuck fighting both men on his own as Punk once again claims that his eye is forcing him not to tag in. Thanks to a miscue, Edge is able to tag in Jericho, who comes in swinging for the fences.

On the outside, Edge gets in a cheap shot on the former World Heavyweight Champion before Jericho comes over to drag him back into the ring.

As Hardy goes for the tag again, Punk again whines about the injured eye and refuses to tag in. Jericho applies a modified sleeper hold, but Hardy manages to slip out before he gets tossed outside again.

Back in the ring, Hardy goes for the tag once more, but Punk is out of position once more. Hardy hits the Whisper in the Wind to stop the momentum of the Unified Tag Team Champions.

Following a Twist of Fate to Edge, Hardy tags in the World Champion. Punk comes in and drops Edge with the corner bulldog and knee lift. But Edge hits the Edgecution to slow down the momentum of the World Heavyweight Champion.

Jericho comes in and continues the assault on the ribcage of Punk. Punk starts to fight back as both men hit the canvas with a double clothesline.

As Punk goes for the tag, Hardy drops to the ground holding his eye and screaming in pain. On the inside, Punk nails the GTS on Jericho, but Edge (who gets the blind tag) delivers the Spear to get the win.

But after the bell, Hardy delivers the Twist of Fate once again to Edge. After the Tag Champs scamper, Hardy is holding his eye as he stands over Punk.

After Hardy tells him that he’s sorry, he walks out of the ring holding his right eye. As Hardy goes up to the top, he reveals that it was just a ploy to show what happened to him at The Bash.

Punk is in dismay, and Hardy is celebrating as SmackDown goes off the air.