Bleacher Report - Articles by DScot

Rating the Dixie Beat Downs: The 2005 vs. 2008 Iron Bowls

DScot — Sun, 22 Nov 2009 22:50:53 -0500

With the 2009 Iron Bowl rapidly approaching, talk of Iron Bowls past has been abound.

Recently, the subject of which was the bigger blowout—the 2005 Iron Bowl or the 2008 Iron Bowl—was debated between myself, a huge Alabama fan, and my cousin, the most ardent Auburn fan who I can stand.

And by debated, I mean an all day back and forth war consisting of nearly 200 texts containing at least five times as many profanity laced insults.

To finally settle the matter, I have formulated a range of seven categories to tell us, once and for all, which game was the bigger beat down.

Score

At first glance, this category looks like a no-brainer.

Alabama trounced Auburn last year by a score of 36-0, while Auburn put down Alabama 28-18 in 2005. However, my cousin throws out his time honored argument that Tommy Tuberville was too conservative, and that the score could have been far worse if he had wanted it to be.

He cites the halftime score of 2005 (28-7), compared to 2008 (10-0). Still, you can’t dismiss the fact that the 2005 game ended up as a 10 point spread while the 2008 game was the biggest blowout since Alabama won 38-0 in 1962. Advantage: Alabama

Statistics

Again, initially this is no contest. In 2008, Alabama out gained Auburn by 242 yards while in 2005 Auburn bested Alabama by 69. The “Tubs was being conservative” line doesn’t fly here because Alabama only attempted 18 passes in 2008 during 35:37 of possession time, while in 2005 Auburn attempted 21 passes in 27:38 of possession time.

There’s really no argument for this one. Advantage: Alabama

Length of Time Before the Game Had Been Decided

In 2005, Auburn jumped up 21 to zip before the frat boys even had a chance to pull the Jack Daniels minis out of their girlfriends' hiding places. The 2008 game was only a 10-0 deficit at halftime.

However, they could still be playing to this day and the 2008 Auburn team, would be lucky to have three points. Neither game was ever really in doubt. Advantage: Auburn

Gratuitous Boxing Analogy

If Alabama fans could have thrown in the towel after the first quarter in 2005, they would have.

It was reminiscent of the famous Mike Tyson-Larry Holmes fight, where Holmes got decked and then floundered around the ring like a fish in a boat wondering what hit him.

It was ugly.

On the other hand, the 2008 game was a lot like a match where a boxer takes enough painful body shots over the period of a few rounds that his hands naturally come down, leaving him ripe for the KO roundhouse. Still, nobody buys $50 pay-per-view boxing matches to see body shots (unless said body shots involved college age girls). Advantage: Auburn

Aftermath

In 2005, Alabama regrouped from the Iron Bowl thrashing in time to squeak by Texas Tech in the Cotton Bowl, while Auburn got “Badgered to death” in the Capital One Bowl. In 2008, Alabama went on to face Florida in the SEC championship game, while Auburn went and traded a coach who had one bad five win season for a coach who won the same number of games over a two year span. Advantage: Alabama

Defining Moment s

In 2005, Auburn sacked Alabama QBs 11 times. Out of necessity, poor Brodie Croyle invented the much less successful precursor to the Wildcat—the Fetal Position. In 2008, Auburn was so outmatched physically and so putrid offensively that it almost took the fun out of watching them get beaten senseless.

Almost.

It did, however, seemingly usher in a complete shift of power in the state. Advantage: Alabama

Resulting Cheap Paraphernalia Referencing Game

Though handing Auburn its seventh loss of the season and preventing their streak from reaching seven games made for some clever “7”-themed jokes, I gotta hand it to Auburn. “Honk if you sacked Brodie” even made me laugh. Good one Auburn. Still, 36-0! 36-0! 36-0! Advantage: Auburn

So there you have it. Alabama wins 4-3. Really, was there ever any doubt?

Alabama's Passing Problem: Who's Really To Blame?

DScot — Tue, 03 Nov 2009 23:31:21 -0500

After eight grueling weeks that included match-ups with three top 25 teams, five conference games in a row, and being one meaty Terrance Cody paw away from suffering it’s first loss, Alabama finally got a break this weekend.

It couldn’t have come at a better time. The Crimson Tide was obviously gassed both physically and mentally as it gutted out the final seconds of the Tennessee game while holding on for the win.

So, now the off week Coach Saban has been saying the team needed since before the South Carolina team is finally here. Now what? Obviously the most pressing issue concerning Alabama and its goals of winning the national championship, the SEC championship, or even the western division is improving the passing game.

As Coach Saban is fond of saying, it is not just the quarterback that is to blame when a team struggles in the passing game. Here are the five areas the team needs to focus on.

1) As is always the case, the first area fans look to when the passing game is struggling is the quarterback position. Greg McElroy does not seem to have the confidence he had during the first five games of the season.

He seems impatient in the pocket, often giving up on primary receivers and throwing to check downs before the downfield routes even have a chance to develop. The long ball, McElroy’s self declared specialty, has not been a threat since the Arkansas game.

2) Though McElroy has certainly struggled, the blame does not belong solely to him. There have been breakdowns in all of the offensive positions. The offensive line is not only allowing quick pressure, but it is allowing it right up the middle.

This causes McElroy to not be able to step in to throws, virtually eliminating the chance to throw deep. He is either forced to throw quickly or retreat to one side of the field. This, of course, cuts his receiving options in half. The offensive line must do a better job funneling pressure to the outside. If the unit can accomplish this, McElroy will be able to step up in the pocket and be able to throw to an entire field of options.

3) The receivers also shoulder a portion of the blame. More than a few of them have developed a case of the dropsies. Surprisingly, star receiver Julio Jones is the main culprit. He still doesn’t seem to be 100 percent. Not surprisingly, Mike McCoy, the only senior of the group, has begun his traditional late season fade.

Talented receivers such as Darius Hanks and Earl Alexander have been sporadic at best. It seems as if Alabama signs a great crop of receivers every year, but routinely sees little residual value. One has to wonder at some point how much the position coaching plays into this problem.

4) Colin Peek must get healthy. It was a huge blow to Alabama’s offense when Peek went down in pregame warm-ups before the Tennessee game. There’s little doubt that he was a key cog in the offense’s gameplan versus Tennessee.

He would have been counted on to roam the soft spot over the middle in Monte Kiffin’s vaunted Tampa Two defense. Without him, Alabama was forced to throw short to the sidelines. McElroy’s yards per completion were less than Ingram’s yards per carry. I can never think of a time when that would be considered a good thing.

Peek is the only tight end on the team at this point who is both a good blocker and a good receiver. Preston Dial, Brad Smelley, and Michael Williams have shown improvement, but none is the complete tight end on par with Peek.

5) Lastly, the play calling must improve. Red zone passing has been produced little more than trumped up PBU stats for opposing defensive backs. Third down passing has been so predictable that teams have now converged on passes to Roy Upchurch out of the backfield like they picked the right offensive play on Tecmo Bowl.

The good news is that none of these issues are beyond repair. However, if Alabama hopes to play a meaningful game after the Iron Bowl, these issues must be rectified.

NBA Ref Lock-Out? Throw Away the Key

DScot — Tue, 06 Oct 2009 00:21:46 -0400

Like any great relationship that comes to an unfortunate end, one can usually pinpoint the exact moment that caused everything to go horribly, horribly wrong. For me and the NBA, that turning point was the 2006 NBA finals, when the Dallas Mavericks faced off against the Miami Heat…and the officials.

Like a friend’s warning about all the ways a partner is no good for you that you just refuse to listen to, I witnessed everything non-fans hate about the NBA, things that until then I had defended, being displayed right before my eyes. You’ve heard the complaints:

Stars always get the calls. Traveling is never called. Officials swallow their whistles in the final minute of games (unless a star gets breathed on, of course). The officiating is dreadfully inconsistent at best and dreadful at worst.

The 2006 proved it all to be true. Dwayne Wade propelled himself toward the basket like a full back on fourth and goal. He wasn’t so much trying to get a shot off as he was looking for somebody to plow in to. He won the 2006 championship from the foul line. Since then, every marquee player in the league has tried to follow this style of play during crunch time. Why wouldn’t they? Time after time, the stars get the calls.

It seemed as if now the WWE was less predictable than any NBA game featuring Dwayne Wade, Kobe Bryant, LeBron James or whichever second coming of Michael Jordan the league was trying to push. This travesty of so called “officiating” cost the Dallas Mavericks, and their radical owner Mark Cuban, a championship in 2006. More devastatingly perhaps, it cost me, and thousands of fans like me, a lot of love for the game itself.

The NBA’s biggest image problem is not the color of the majority of its players, or tattoos, or dress codes, or hip-hop culture, or perceived lawlessness or tweeting during halftime. The NBA’s biggest problem is a style of officiating that not only angers fans, but alienates them.

Perhaps this official lock out is the impetus the league needs to take a hard look at the way its game is officiated. Maybe then I, and many folks like me, will take a look at returning to a game we grew up loving. Maybe then, like with any good relationship, that old flame can be rekindled.

Exclusive Licenses: It's in the (Worst Interest of) the Game

DScot — Sun, 07 Jun 2009 10:20:35 -0400

For the first time in a while, I fired up Madden '09 last night to resume my Detroit Lions dynasty. I’m on my sixth game of my second season, playing at home against the Cleveland Browns.

On around the Browns’ second offensive series, I notice that their center is wearing the jersey No. 15. I assume it was their draft pick that year, so I don’t think much of it.

After all, when I signed defensive end Tyson Jackson as a free agent after the draft (huh?) he started out with the No. 9. I mean, EA has only been making the Madden series for 20 years. I’m sure they’ll get around to fixing the jersey number anomaly someday soon.

After a couple of series of witnessing Cleveland’s new center stonewalling my defensive tackles, easily flicking away blitzing linebackers, and holding off stunting defensive ends without breaking a sweat, I got curious as to who this surefire rookie of the year was.

It turns out he wasn’t a rookie at all. In fact, he is a seven-year veteran by the name of Dave Zastudil. Now, for those of us who are unable to rattle off the Cleveland Browns’ roster by memory, let me give you a hand. He’s their punter.

So, in Madden’s 20th year of existence spread across countless gaming systems, EA still has a glitch that causes a punter to line up at center. Not only that, but he is dominating. I know the Lions suck, but come on! Seriously? God, I hate EA sometimes.

How does this happen? Simple. They have no competition. Why don’t they? Let’s take a look back.

Back in 2004 2K sports shocked the gaming world by releasing NFL 2K5, not only earlier than Madden, but for the bargain basement price of $19.99. Though it had flaws of its own, it was still quite possibly the best value since Manhattan Island. For the first time in years, EA’s game-making manhood was challenged.

How would EA respond? By pulling the equivalent of a school boy taking his ball and going home. They signed an exclusive deal with the NFL giving them the only company with the right to make NFL games for five years (before renewing that contract for another five years a couple of years later).

They also signed a deal becoming the only company licensed to make college football games. So really, not only did EA take the ball and go home, they rolled up the playing surface and tore down the goals.

2K sports soon struck back in a relatively small way, inking a deal to become the only third-party game producer for Major League Baseball. What exactly does that mean? It means that if you own an X-Box 360 and want a MLB video game, your only choice is the MLB 2K series.

In turn, EA acquired the exclusive rights to produce a licensed college basketball game. This led me to consider buying up every copy of College Hoops 2K8 I can find and store them in a safe deposit box in case something happens to mine. I would rather tear my own thumbs off than play EA’s March Madness series.

Kudos to David Stern, who nixed any efforts by any game developer to acquire exclusive rights to make NBA games.

Kudos also to Gary Bettman, who has screwed up his NHL league so bad that nobody really cares who makes those games.

The sports video gaming industry has also thus far avoided collapse upon itself, as EA has thus far been unable to broker a deal to buy Take Two, the parent company of 2K games.

This article is not intended to espouse the virtues of one company over another. Both 2K and EA have their merits. 2K is widely considered to be the better developer of basketball games. EA has the edge in hockey games; and, until the exclusivity deal, was recognized as the leader in baseball games.

The better football game debate will spark more heated exchanges between 2K and EA fanboys than a meeting between the Crips and the Bloods. Well, it the Crips and the Bloods were folks who have actually uttered the phrases “pwned,” or knew what the hell “All your base are belong to us.” means.

The point is, it really doesn’t matter which company is really better. What matters is that there is no incentive to improve.

Do you think if EA had competition in NFL football gaming, they would continually allow a glitch where a guy will run straight out of bounds on patterns in the flat, or a 5 yard drag pattern somehow always resulted in a 2 yard loss? Probably not.

Would they year after year produce a college football game that is so cheesetastic in its on-line play that it has resulted in the deaths of approximately 42,800 controllers at the hands of angry gamers every year? Doubt it.

Would 2K annually produce a baseball game that has players looking like Hannibal Lector wearing the cop's face? I say no.

Just look at what has happened in the NBA games. EA decided to start from scratch on its Live series for the latest installment because it got tired of getting its butt kicked by 2K. That would never, ever have happened had there have not been any competition forcing them to re-evaluate what they do.

Exclusive licenses are the single worst thing to happen to sports gaming since Bill Laimbeer’s Combat Basketball. Gamers who love sports games are left with fewer choices than ever, and stuck with games that are considerably less innovative than they could be.

What really gets me is that, even as I right this, I am anxiously awaiting the arrival of NCAA Football 10. I already know what’s going to happen. I’m gonna play a season or two, get fed up with the same glitches that have been around for years, and stop playing it. I’ll swear that I won’t get suckered in again (until NCAA Football '11).

What does EA care? They have absolutely no reason to try to better their game other than to update a roster and introduce some new gimmick. They already have my money. And, thanks to exclusive licenses, they have nobody who will be trying to compete for it.

Tim Tebow and the Magic Ticket (Humor)

DScot — Tue, 02 Jun 2009 23:06:36 -0400

Much has been made about the recent appearance of Florida Gator quarterback Tim Tebow sitting courtside in Orlando during Game Six of the Eastern Conference Finals between the Cleveland Cavaliers and the Orlando Magic.

Wary of any appearance of impropriety, Florida quickly announced that it was Tebow’s mother who had bought the premium seats for her son.

Missionary work must pay well. There must be a myriad of reasons as to why Mrs. Tebow felt compelled to shell out as much as $14,000 for little Timmy to see a basketball game.

Here are my 10 best guesses as to why:

He just wanted to remind Hedo Turkoglu that the Crusades aren’t over until Tim Tebow says they are over.
He came to convince Orlando Magic owner Rich DeVos to change his team’s nickname since it refers to witchcraft, and is therefore unGodly. Best suggestion? The Orlando Tebows.
He wanted to take a break from standing atop Corcovado in Rio De Janeiro to come see Brazilian countryman Anderson Varejao.
With a series consisting of men from countries like France, Brazil, Turkey, Lithuania, and Serbia, there has to be somebody in need of a good circumcision.
Insert own mistakenly-witnessing-to Ron Jeremy look-alike Stan Van Gundy joke here.
He made deal with Orlando Magic Dancers: If he would attend one game to see them, then they would quit calling him at all hours of the night, as well as trying to sneak into his bed.
He desperately wants a one-on-one rematch with Lebron. After besting James 21-2, he is still claiming that Lebron did not take the ball out before he scored his only bucket. The man is a competitor.
He wanted to settle with Dwight Howard once and for all who rightfully deserves the “Superman” nickname.
Jamar Nelson is supposed to be done for the year. Tebow shows up, and now it is probable that he will play in the NBA Finals...Hmm...I’m not saying, I’m just saying.
He sought valuable advice from J.J. Redick about how to parlay a skill set suited primarily for the college game into a long career of bench warming.

Minor League Baseball: The "Real America"

DScot — Thu, 30 Apr 2009 17:46:05 -0400

God bless the Yankees and their decision to slash premium seat prices. Now, a family of four can enjoy premium seats for another Chien Ming Wang shelling at just under the blue-book value of a 1999 Pontiac Grand Am.

Surely there has to be a better value for America’s pastime in today’s economy, right? Oh yeah, there is. Ladies and gentlemen, I present to you a great evening replete with true Americana.

I give you—a visit to Regions Park, home of the Birmingham Barons, the Southern League AA affiliate of the Chicago White Sox.

Monday night is Belly Buster Monday, with an all you can eat buffet. Baseball, hot dogs, apple pie, and obesity. Tuesday is 25-cents hot dog night. Judging from the quality of the wieners, I still think they are making a profit on each sale. Friday is fireworks night., and Saturday is fireworks and $5 large pizzas.

These promotions are all great, but they all pale in comparison to one.

Thirsty Thursday—all fountain drinks and draft beers are $1 a piece. One dollar beers! As if it couldn’t get any better, they are also selling “boneless buffalo wings” for 25-cents a piece.

Granted these could be considered boneless buffalo wings in the same way that William Hung would be considered an important musical artist, but the beer does help them go down easier.

As I pull in early enough to avoid paying a parking fee (Sweet!), I am already starting to salivate as I pay my $7 for general admission. I had thought of paying the extra $1 to pay for box seats, but couldn’t convince my friend to cough up the extra buck for him and his wife.

After all, that is two beers.

The Barons are blessed with two of the White Sox most prized prospects, 6’6” 240 lb lefty, Aaron Poreda, and shortstop Gordon Beckham. Poreda is impressive, striking out eleven through seven scoreless innings. He improves his record to 1-2, but has an astounding 1.69 ERA.

Beckham? Not so much. He gives an 0-4 performance and commits his fifth error of the young season. His play reminds me of another aspiring infield prospect who spent some time with the Barons in the 90’s.

What was his name again? Oh yeah, Michael Jordan.

After a 3-run first inning bomb by Baron’s first baseman Brandon Allen, the game settles into a pitchers duel for the next seven innings. (Isn’t that always the case when the $1 beers are cut off after the 6^th inning?)

This of course, allows my friend and I the chance to catch some of the talent off of the field.

In a promotion intended to bring some fun to a couple of kids, they compete with each other by having someone try to throw floaty hula-hoops around a stick attached to the kids’ helmets.

Of course, neither kid gets close to catching one, so what was ideally a quirky gimmick quickly turns in to a lesson in humiliation in front of a crowd of 7,800 people all loosened up by $1 beers. Welcome to life, kids.

The group of people in the seats right below us continues to grow to close to 30 people. Somehow, they all seem to know each other—fascinating.

The only reasonable explanation I can come up with is that the girls must all go to the same tanning salon. The guys must go to the same gym, shop together for “Affliction” t-shirts, and have the same aversion to bent baseball hat brims turned the right way.

My friend and I discreetly focus on the same girl, but disagree on her level of hotness. He is unimpressed, but I can’t help but notice her resemblance to Anne Hathaway. Well, Anne Hathaway, if the bridge of her nose had been pulled out by that “Fix-a-dent” thingamabob that Billy Mays sells.

My friend is probably right. What can I say? A combination of not being too picky, $1 beers and a thing for Anne Hathaway can cloud my judgment sometimes.

In the seats above me, I notice that a woman has brought her newborn daughter to the ball park. When I say “newborn”, I mean “gave birth on the way to the park” newborn. She tells me the kid is two weeks old. Good Lord!

I don’t even wear new sneakers in the back yard until they’re about a month old. I mean, I have a dog back there! And he loves to poop! What kind of person brings a two-week-old baby to a baseball game?!?

You know, maybe there’s a reason the Yankees charge so much for tickets after all.

Glen Coffee: Why Running To NFL a Smart Move

DScot — Fri, 09 Jan 2009 17:10:10 -0500

Alabama running back Glen Coffee has decided to forego his senior season and enter the NFL draft.

On the surface, it looks as if this is the case of another slightly above average player blinded by the visions of dollar signs in his eyes.

Here are five reasons why this is not the case, and the move is probably a good one for Coffee.

1. Much like the entire Alabama team, Coffee maxed out his potential this season. He quietly had the second best rushing season in Alabama football history, finishing with 1,383 yards and 10 touchdowns. Granted, his single season accomplishment is a little skewed because he played 14 games, but he still averaged a very respectable 5.9 yards per carry.

2. The irresistible force better known as the Alabama offensive line is breaking up. With the early exit of Andre Smith, as well as the graduation of Andre Caldwell and Marlon Davis, the Crimson Tide offensive line will be a question mark to begin 2009. If the Sugar Bowl performance is any indication of what to expect from the unit at all, then Coffee may be worried that the crater-sized holes he enjoyed in 2008 might tighten up a great deal next season.

3. Even if the offensive line does come together, Coffee won’t match this year’s numbers next season. With the continued improvement of Mark Ingram, the expected arrival of the nation’s No. 2 rated running back, as well as a stable of halfbacks already on campus, it is unlikely Coffee will come close to duplicating 2008’s success. He is wise to strike while the iron is hot.

4. Coffee only has so many carries in him. This season was the first season in his Alabama career that he carried the ball more than 130 times. Due to either injury or suspension, he has missed significant playing time during his time at the Capstone. Since a running back only has so many carries in him anyway, why not get paid to take the punishment in the NFL an extra year or two?

5. Coffee is better than you think. Most draft gurus expect Coffee to be a fourth or fifth round pick at best. Though that may still be the case come April, in the meantime I think he has a chance to significantly improve his stock. I expect he will have a good combine.

He runs more than someone with his 198-pound figure would he’s a lot faster than people give him credit for. He broke off runs of 87 and 78 yards this season and was only stopped by the back of the end zone. There’s not a lot of wiggle in his game. He’s a one-cut-and-go guy, which translates well in the NFL.

Call me a little biased as an Alabama fan, but I do think whichever team drafts Glen Coffee will not regret the pick. He’s the kind of back that teams love to draft in the later rounds. Why?

They don’t have to pay first round money to an NFL running back, which is an asset that depreciates faster than a 1983 Chevy Blazer.

I’m not saying Glen Coffee is the next coming of Terrell Davis, Priest Holmes, or Willie Parker, but he will make a roster, and he will get carries in the NFL next year. I mean, if Ken Darby can stick with a team…

The Iron Bowl: The Greatest Rivalry In Sports (By Far)

DScot — Fri, 28 Nov 2008 14:44:47 -0500

The Iron Bowl is, without a doubt, the greatest rivalry in sports.

Or, it is the greatest rivalry in sports that don’t divide fans by religious affiliations or hooligan clans. Now, people can argue against this statement, but I will not be swayed. Still, I invite you to give it a shot.

I know right now there are a few rivalries that have already popped into everyone’s heads. Yep, there are some good ones that I will discuss, but nothing matches the Iron Bowl.

In college football you have Ohio State vs. Michigan.

It’s a good one, but not as great as the Iron Bowl. First off, the rivalry is between two states. Sure, this past Monday morning, Michigan fans went to work with heads hung low.

However, they were probably comforted by fellow Michigan fans in their home state. They didn’t have to sit next to some smug Auburn Tiger or Alabama Crimson Tide co-worker who will give them grief for the next year.

Plus, people in Ohio and Michigan have professional sports teams to focus on.

In the NFL, Ohio has the Cincinnati Bengals and the Cleveland Browns (okay, those are bad examples), while Michigan has the Detroit Lions…okay forget I said anything about the NFL teams.

Both states have decent professional basketball and baseball teams.

Heck, Detroit even has the nickname of “Hockeytown.” Birmingham once took pride in being called “The College Football Capital of the South,” because that’s really all the state of Alabama has.

We have no professional teams to divert our attention. That’s why you have close to 100,000 people show up to a spring scrimmage in Alabama. We live, eat, and breathe college football 365 days a year.

Honestly, we have pretty much nothing else to do. Could somebody at least open up a Dave & Busters here, or something? Please?

Really, can you even compare Ohio State-Michigan to Alabama-Auburn now? Do you see how much more the Iron Bowl means to the residents of the state of Alabama? It’s not even close.

Staying in college football, you have the Army vs. Navy game, but they really play for nothing more than pride. Plus, I think you probably had to serve in either one of these branches of the Armed Forces to feel the full affect.

The South Carolina vs. Clemson, Florida vs. Florida State, and Georgia vs. Georgia Tech rivalries, while intense, are diminished because the rivals don’t even play in the same conference. Unless there are national championship implications, then the game is usually only for pride.

Miami vs. Florida State comes close in terms of conference consequences and same state hatred, but Miami hardly ever sells out even some of the biggest conference games, and both teams are infested with fair-weather fans who couldn’t have told you a thing about either school before 1983.

Duke vs. North Carolina probably comes as close to the Iron Bowl as anything in college sports. The difference is that they could potentially play each other four times in one year. Also, everybody hates Duke, so what good is a rivalry if there is no unique hatred?

As for professional sports, the greatest rivalry everyone points to would be the New York Yankees vs. Boston Red Sox.

Great, yes, but on par with the Iron Bowl? Please.

They play each other approximately 238 times during the regular season. It’s not a “one shot, winner take all” type of deal. Even then, defeated New York and Boston fans can soothe themselves with the New York Giants, Boston Celtics, and New England Patriots.

This is the truth, no matter what ESPN tells you.

I'm sure I've forgotten a few rivalries. But really, what does it matter? Nothing touches the Iron Bowl.

I will open up the topic for debate, but be warned. You're going to be wrong.

Alabama-LSU: Tide, Tigers in Giving Mood, but Alabama Takes West Title

DScot — Sun, 09 Nov 2008 11:58:46 -0500

Apparently Florida is the most feared team in the nation, because for 60 minutes and one overtime period in Baton Rouge on Saturday, it seemed as if neither LSU nor Alabama wanted the privilege of representing the West versus the Gators in Atlanta.

Some LSU fans will be quick to tell you that the Tigers lost the game more than Alabama won it. Meanwhile, Tide fans will say we won the game despite playing the sloppiest game since the last game we played versus a Louisiana team, Tulane.

Because of both fanbases' claims, and the fact that I'm kind of a jerk and want to remind everybody that "I told you we would win the West," I want to take a look at how Alabama won the West, in a wacky contest that will go down as one of the best, most nerve-wracking games in recent history.

Alabama got the gaffes going by nullifying a beautiful opening drive by fumbling the ball from inside the LSU one and out of the side of the end zone. I appreciate your effort, Earl Alexander, but please just go down at the one. We'll take it from here.

Not to be outdone, LSU gave the ball right back by throwing the ball into heavy traffic in the middle of the field on 3rd-and-17. Rolando McClain crumpled an LSU player much like a Tiger Fan's empty beer cup, and Rashad Johnson snagged his first interception of the game.

Next up was John Parker Wilson's first mistake. After scoring a TD, he drew a celebration penalty. As a consequence, LSU got the ball back with a short field in front of them. Jarrett Lee capitalized with a beautiful pass to Byrd, and the game was tied.

Keeping the Crimson Tide screw-ups going, Javier Arenas fumbled away the ensuing kickoff. A quick Scott burst up the middle for a TD later, and the Tide faced its biggest deficit of the season.

Wilson continued the blunders by throwing a jump ball to the smallest receiver on the team, which was naturally intercepted by the larger LSU DB.

Obviously feeling left out of the party, LSU's Lee threw his sixth "pick six" of the season, this time to Rashad Johnson, toward the end of the first half.

As the first half wound down, I told my friends, "I can't believe this game is tied. I feel like we should be down 14 points right now." I'm sure many LSU fans felt the same way.

The beginning of the second half actually resembled a game between two semi-competent teams. Alabama finally seized the lead in the third quarter on a beautiful drive capped off by a three-yard Coffee run.

Another Lee interception coming off a blitz did little damage in the big scheme of things, and LSU eventually fought back to tie the game in the fourth quarter.

The Tide had at least two chances to ice the game in the fourth quarter but was the victim of a questionable holding call that wiped out a TD.

I'm still not sure about that call. The flag was thrown from the umpire standing 15 yards away, and the flag was at least three seconds late. Andre Smith's hands were clearly inside the LSU defender's body, and unless the NCAA is changing rules on a weekly basis like the struggling XFL did back in the day, that is a legal block.

After finally getting the ball back and driving into a sure field goal position, Leigh Tiffen proved he was not at all like his father Van when he had the ultimate Varsity Blues "I don't want...your life" moment by kicking a gimme field goal so low it practically left skid marks on the turf.

At the risk of being monotonous, Lee threw his third pick of the night to Johnson, snuffing out any potential of a field goal.

Finally, Alabama put an end to the madness by scoring the final TD of the game. Fittingly, the score was worthy of a review.

Obviously, both teams were in a giving mood all night. Some were good, like Bama's Julio Jones giving free piggyback rides to LSU defensive backs all night, or LSU giving as good as it got on both lines of scrimmage, but mostly the game was a comedy of errors masquerading as a heart-stopping thriller with the SEC West on the line.

Alabama Basketball Picked to Win SEC West...Wha?!?

DScot — Wed, 05 Nov 2008 14:53:53 -0500

I’m sure you’ve heard this question sometime in your life: “If a tree falls in the forest, and nobody is around to hear it, does it make a sound?” Who really knows the correct answer?

Here’s another one: “If the Crimson Tide football team is in the midst of an undefeated season, and the SEC holds its basketball media days in Birmingham, AL, does anybody really care?” That one is pretty easy: No.

However, there was one interesting little tidbit of information to arise out of these meetings: Alabama was picked first in the SEC West. This piece of news inevitably led most Alabama basketball fans to think one thing: “Wow...the West must really, really suck this year.”

Yep. It’s true. No SEC West team is ranked in the AP Top 25. Only two—LSU (31) and Alabama (16)—even received any votes at all, so you would think Alabama has a legitimate chance to win the West this year.

They won’t. Not with this team, and certainly not with Mark Gottfried coaching this team. But that’s a rant I’ll save until about mid-February. For now, I’ll just stick with breaking down the squad.

Guards

Returning Players

This whole unit depends on the health of Ronald Steele. Will Steele be the player he was three seasons ago, before the knee injuries, when he averaged 14 points and four assists a game? Or will he be the Steele of two seasons ago, when he averaged eight points, four assists, and generally drug himself up and down the court like Torgo in Manos: Hands of Fate?

Brandon Hollinger returns for his senior season. He’s the epitome of the “almost” basketball player. He’s almost quick enough and almost has the instincts to play the point, and almost big enough to be a smallish shooting guard. He has shown flashes but is really more relied on to just not lose the game and to hit the open shot. He shot 43 percent from three last year.

Mikhail Torrence is a 6’5” lefty with decent point guard instincts and the ability to get in the paint. He is also a career 18 percent three-point shooter. Unless teams actually play off him and make him go right, he’s virtually unstoppable.

Senario Hillman should have a nickname. I nominate “Baby Miner.” Like Harold Miner was, he’s a breathtaking leaper and a YouTube staple. He also shot 14 percent from three last year. With the three-point line moved back this year, I am so looking forward to the Torrence/Hillman backcourt Gottfried will inevitably play for long stretches of minutes this year.

Key Losses

Alabama suffered the annual defection of players this offseason with the transfers of Justin Tubbs (a streaky shooter but tenacious defender) and Rico Pickett (um...wore a headband well, I guess), both of whom saw extensive playing time. Thank you again, Mark. I...better move on. Save the Gottfried rant for later, DScot...

Newcomer

The only other true guard likely to see quality minutes this year is incoming freshman Andrew Steele, Ronald’s little brother. Some say he is better than Ronald was coming out of high school. That would be nice. Hard to believe, but nice.

Forwards

Returning Players

I have a love/hate relationship with Alonzo Gee. There are times where he looks like the fiercest, most athletic player on the court. Then there are other times when he seems to play with all the intensity of a dad shooting hoops with his six-year-old daughter out in the driveway. He’s a decent scorer, rebounder, defender, and shooter—when he shows up. Dude drives me crazy.

Demetrius Jemison is a hard working ‘tweener. He’s 6’7” and pulls down about five boards a game to go with five points. He has improved his numbers every year. For Alabama to be successful, that trend will have to continue.

Apparently, there was a guy named Avery Jukes that played 22 games for Alabama last year and averaged two points a game. I don’t really even remember him. That can’t be a good thing.

Key Loss

Richard Hendrix opted to enter the NBA draft after his junior year, despite not being picked until the second round. Alabama will sorely miss his toughness and leadership, perhaps even more than his nightly double-double.

Newcomer

JaMychal Green was the gem of Gottfried’s incoming recruiting class. The 6’9” freshman was a McDonald’s High School All-American. He averaged 26 points, 17 boards, and seven blocks his senior year. He will immediately step into a starting role at Alabama. It will be really interesting to see how many ways Gottfried will find to waste his talent.

Center

Last season was the first season that I didn’t experience an immediate wave of hopelessness come over me whenever Yamene Coleman received the ball—so he’s obviously making progress. However, he’s still a career 38 percent free throw shooter. That’s just sad. Unless you don’t have hands, you should be able to hit at least 40 percent from the line.

Justin Knox is an energy guy coming off the bench. He impressed me as a freshman last year, and I hope to see him get more minutes this year. When he doesn’t, I hope he at least transfers somewhere close, because he’s fun to watch play.

There you have it, folks—your 2008-2009 SEC Basketball Western Division Champions!

Being General Manager: What Goes On Inside the Head of an NBA GM

DScot — Sat, 28 Jun 2008 07:42:25 -0400

The NBA draft is known for head-scratching picks.

Long, consistent achievement at a high collegiate level is trumped instantly by a performance in a private workout, or a few inches of height.

Ever wonder what these NBA GMs are thinking when they made their picks?

Well, in true Being John Malcovich fashion, I have found a portal that leads straight to the heads of these NBA GMs. Here’s what was going through their minds when they made their picks.

New York Knicks President GM Donnie Walsh:

Since Isiah Thomas finally got the boot, it’s a new day in New York. Afterall, I’ve actually won “Executive of the Year.”

I’m known for turning around franchises by making sound decisions and shrewd personnel moves. Knicks fans have greeted me with open arms from Day One. They’re sure that their days of despair are over.

For the first time in years, Knicks fans have reason to hope...Yeah, I better nip all of that in the bud.

Results: With the 6th pick in the NBA draft, the New York Knicks select Danilo Gallinari, from Italy.

LA Clippers GM Elgin Baylor:

Sure, his production suffered tremendously when Indiana’s program was suddenly the victim of incompetent leadership with no real sense of direction; but what’s that got to do with the LA Clippers?

Plus, he’s got the sturdiest looking knees in the draft. Just look at those knees!

With the 7th pick of the NBA draft, the Los Angeles Clippers select Eric Gordon from Indiana.

Sacramento Kings GM Geoff Petrie:

Now, wait. Who’s that guy that plays Dr. Patrick Drake on “General Hospital?” Jason Thomas? Jay Thompson? Jason Thompson? Is that it?

Lemme write it down to see if it looks right…Man, I gotta go to the bathroom. Lemme just leave this card right here...

With the 12th pick of the NBA draft, the Sacramento Kings select Jason Thompson from Rider.

Toronto Raptors GM Bryan Collagelo:

Let’s take a look at this scouting report here…”Slow. Unathletic. Questionable toughness.” Never heard of him, but Toronto could always use another white guy.

With the 17th pick of the NBA draft, the Toronto Raptors select Roy Hibbert from Georgetown.

Charlotte Bobcats GM Rod Higgins:

Hmm. We averaged 97.1 points a game, but gave up 101.4. So, we lost by an average of around four points. If we could only find somebody who averaged five points a game in another league…Ah! Here we go! We goin’ 82-0, baby!

With the 20th pick of the NBA draft, the Charlotte Bobcats select Alexis Ajinca from France.

Utah Jazz GM Kevin O’Connor:

In the world of sports drafts, you can count on only a handful of things. Matt Millen will take a wide receiver and I will take a white center. That’s just how we roll.

With the 23rd pick of the NBA draft, the Utah Jazz take Kosta Koufos from Ohio State.

San Antonio Spurs GM R.C. Buford.

Hee, hee, hee. When you say it out loud, it sounds like “Hill of Ew-y Poo-y.” Do I dare? Hell yes I dare! Four rings say R.C. Buford can do whatever the hell R.C. Buford wants.

With the 26th pick of the NBA draft, the San Antonio Spurs select George Hill of IUPUI.

Portland Trailblazers GM Kevin Prichard:

Now, which guy from Memphis was it who was named “Conference Player of the Year”, was an All-American, and is a dynamic scorer who can get his own shot anytime he wants and which one is short for his position and has no offensive skills whatsoever??

Damn it. I really should watch more college basketball. Oh well, 50/50 shot here…

With the 33rd pick of the NBA draft, the Portland Trailblazers select Joey Dorsey from Memphis.

New Jersey Nets GM Rod Thorn:

Damn! I can’t believe Kevin drafted the guy from Memphis who was named “Conference Player of the Year”, was an All-American, and is a dynamic scorer who can get his own shot anytime he wants.

They get everybody. I guess I’ll just have to settle for the one who is short for his position and has no offensive skills whatsoever.

With the 40th pick of the NBA draft, the New Jersey Nets select Chris Douglas-Roberts from Memphis.

Seattle Supersonics GM Sam Presti:

I don’t know if she can play or not, but the chick sure can sing. “I Feel for You” and “I’m Every Woman” were my jams back in the day! What the hell, it’s the second round.

With the 56th pick of the NBA draft, the Seattle Supersonics select Sasha Kaun from Kansas.

Los Angeles Lakers GM Mitch Kupchak:

I know it’s now pretty common knowledge that an NBA ref can be bought nowadays, but this is being a little too blatant. Still, how can I pass up on a guy who detests Tim Duncan more than anybody on the face of the earth?

With the 58th pick of the NBA draft, the LA Lakers select Joe Crawford from Kentucky.

There you have it. We’ve gone inside the minds of some of the most influential NBA executives around. Now, can anybody tell me how to get back to Birmingham from the New Jersey Turnpike?

Open Mic: GM—The Newest Sports Fantasy

DScot — Thu, 26 Jun 2008 07:08:59 -0400

Ah, the NBA draft. There’s really nothing like it—the fashion, the second and third guessing, the complete disregard for significant accomplishment on the collegiate level, the selecting of prospects based on grainy, “Blair Witch”-quality highlight films.

Only in the NBA would a 19-year-old who averaged five points as a bench player in a Euro league be selected over a guy who averaged a double-double for two years in the SEC. It’s all based on supposed potential and private workouts against nobody.

Heck, back home I could hit seven out of 10 from beside the propane tank in my back yard easy. Every time. It must have been about a 22-foot shot. Where’s my guaranteed contract?

With all of the wild speculation that goes on this time of the year, it’s only natural that normal schmoes such as myself might start saying to themselves, “Hey, I could do that!” After all, it seems so easy to turn things around for crappy teams on Madden or NBA 2K.

I think lots of us feel this way. The new dream is not to be a big league ballplayer—it’s to be a big league general manager.

Please, join me in raising your hand if you’ve ever done any of the following:

1. Took an excessive amount of personal pride in winning your fantasy league, just because you jumped on somebody like Ryan Grant seconds before anybody else.

2. Simulated the actual games on a video game just to do the GM functions.

3. Video recorded the NFL draft. Six hours of VHS tape = about nine picks.

I think we do this because it seems like it would be a whole lot easier, and maybe a bit more rewarding, to be the next Scott Pioli than it would to be the next Tom Brady.

We may never be able to be a 50-TD QB, but we think we could pluck one out of the sixth round. As sports fans, we automatically take a lot of pride in the amount of our sports knowledge.

On top of that, sports are the great diversion for most of us. They’re a way to escape the monotony of the less desirable parts of our lives.

It’s only logical to want to do something we enjoy for a living and to use our knowledge in any way other than bugging the hell out of our wives or girlfriends. I mean, what real sports fan wouldn’t kill to be a real life GM?

That makes it all the more fun as we watch the NBA draft on Thursday night and argue about whether to take Rose or Beasley No. 1, or wonder why O.J. Mayo would take a major pay cut just to come into the NBA.

We get to pit our skills against guys whose only qualification for being a GM seems to be that they stood behind the three-point line and launched wide open jumpers.

Dang, if there was only a propane tank on an NBA baseline, I would be up there—and I would be picking Rose No. 1.

Why Alabama Will Win the SEC West in 2008

DScot — Thu, 12 Jun 2008 11:33:16 -0400

Contrary to popular belief, we actually have four different seasons here in the Heart of Dixie. We have football season, recruiting season, spring football season, and “waitin’ on football season” season.

So, it came as no surprise to receive a text message from my cousin around the first of June asking me to give my SEC predictions for the upcoming 2008 football season.

However, he was a bit surprised to read my pick for the winner of the SEC West: Alabama.

Being a true Auburn fan, he accused me of being another unabashed Bama homer with a loose grip on reality. I think they like to call us “Bammers.”

Okay, I will never deny that I sometimes look at the world through crimson-colored glasses. But this time, I’m truly just an impartial prognosticator looking at past numbers and trends while trying to make an educated guess…through somewhat crimson-colored glasses.

Here are some interesting trends to help make my case.

The three-year trend

In the ever-evolving world of college football, there are few constants. Here are some that do exist.

A) Notre Dame will be overrated, and then consequently embarrass themselves by suffering a brutal beat-down in a bowl game. It’s almost as if they get off on the humiliation. The package of schwag they receive from bowl reps should include a gag ball and a safe word.

B) I will be extremely disappointed in the latest edition of the NCAA Football video game. I will curse EA as the “evil, soulless empire” all year, but buy the next edition the day it comes out. Thus, the cycle continues.

C) Once every three years, Alabama will win at least 10 games—1996: 10-3, 1999: 10-3, 2002: 10-3, 2005: 10-2, 2008...you get the picture.

The senior QB trend

The starting QBs during Alabama’s last two 10-win seasons have been seniors. Tyler Watts was a senior in 2002, and Brodie Croyle was a senior in 2005.

John Parker Wilson will be a senior this year. Though he’s broken every single-season passing record two years in a row, most Bama fans wouldn’t trust him to park their car in an empty lot.

Wilson doesn’t need to be especially great this year for Alabama to be successful. He just needs to stop showing up as the opposing QB on some other team’s “Pontiac Game Changing Moment.”

The second-year head coach trend

It’s widely believed that the biggest improvement a team makes under a new head coach is from year one to year two. This has been proven true with almost every coach Alabama has had A.B. (After Bear).

Ray Perkins was the only one to take a step back in 1984, going 5-6. However, he beat Auburn that year, so most Bama folks will forgive him.

More interestingly, some of the biggest jumps have come under coaches who actually had head coaching experience before taking over the helm at Alabama. Dennis Franchione improved from 7-5 to 10-3 in 2002, and would have won the West had the team not been on probation.

Gene Stallings improved from 7-5 to 11-1 in 1991. However, Bill Curry’s progress went backward, finishing with a 10-2 record and a share of the SEC title in his third year.

Nick Saban is entering his second year as the most decorated head coach to come to Alabama in many years. It will be intriguing to see if this trend holds true.

Now, detractors will point out that the schedule is too tough and that the Tide are too young in crucial areas. Both are valid points to a degree. Alabama must make road trips to Fayetteville, Athens, Knoxville, and Baton Rouge. They must also play Auburn in Tuscaloosa, where Alabama has never beaten them.

As for the youth, the starting linebackers may include names like “Higgenbotham” and “Reamer,” which only excite Bama fans named "Mr. and Mrs. Higgenbotham" and "Mr. and Mrs. Reamer."

To both of these points, I retort a thoughtful and introspective, “So what?”

This is the SEC. Every game is a killer. LSU won the National Championship last year after losing to Kentucky and Arkansas, two teams everybody chalked up as a “W” before the season started. It’s likely that one or both division winners will have two losses.

Among the tough games mentioned above, only Georgia returns a QB with adequate starting experience. Experience at that position means something in this league. The last five conference winners prominently featured senior QBs (Mauck, Campbell, Greene, Leak, and Flynn). Bama fans are hoping that JP Wilson’s career follows a similar track.

Alabama’s youth is somewhat exaggerated. The defensive line returns seven guys with at least some playing experience.

Rashad Johnson is an all-conference safety and is the quarterback of the unit. Linebacker seems to be the hardest hit, but there is talk that Prince Hall will be back with the team by fall. Hope is still alive that Zeke Knight can return to the fold after battling a medical ailment.

Worst case scenario, the Tide leans on experienced, but less than blue-chip talented LBs until the highly touted freshman LBs can be brought up to speed. Rolando McClain followed this path last year and was one of the top players on the entire team by year's end.

Again, to say that Alabama will win the SEC West is a highly optimistic view to say the least. However, based on recent trends it is not out of the realm of possibility.

Now all we've got to do is finish this current “waitin’ season.” Thankfully, that gives me enough time to have everyone forget this possibly inane prediction by the time we tee it the last weekend in August.

And if I’m right, just remember—you read it here first.

Confessions of a New Chicago Cubs Fan: "What's This About a Curse?"

DScot — Mon, 09 Jun 2008 19:32:24 -0400

At first, I didn’t want to admit it to myself. And God forbid if my wife ever found out.

Much to my dismay, all of the warning signs were there. I found myself anxiously awaiting its arrival for the first time that I could remember. I bought magazines to try to suppress the cravings. I tried to concentrate on NBA basketball, and the upcoming nine months (or somewhere around there) of playoff action.

However, when I found myself turning to it during a particularly compelling NBA Eastern Conference Semifinal game, I finally had to face the truth. I was now, for the first time in my life, a full-fledged baseball fan.

Upon succumbing to my guilt and choosing to come clean to my wife, her response was predictable. She dropped her head, let out an audible groan, and said “Ugh. Not another sport.

My wife’s disappointment in hearing the news was understandable. See, for 10 months out of the year, I’m known by family and friends as the go-to football and basketball fanatic/nerd. If there’s ever a question or bet about some stat or score from the past, I’m the one they call.

I can’t tell you your name two minutes after I just met you, but I can tell you the score of the 1983 Iron Bowl (23-20 AU).

When I die, if I were to write my own obituary it would probably read something like this: “Left behind loving wife, two loving kids, and five loving grandchildren. Won fantasy football league titles in 2005, 2007...”

It’s a sickness, really. I guess it’s because I’m just so inept in all other manly endeavors. I suck at golf, I would probably cry if I ever shot a deer, and I’m so un-handy around the house that my wife exhibits some type of Pavlovian cringe every time I break open the tool box.

Being a sports nerd is really the only thing that allows me to keep my man card. Quick, somebody give me validation by asking me who won the NCAA Men’s basketball championship in 1978! Please! Please!!

Kentucky. Whew. I feel better now

I can empathize with my wife’s frustrations about losing me for the summer months now—but if we’re really being honest here, it’s her fault.

After all, she’s the one who agreed to go to Chicago on the weekend of our first anniversary. It was she that agreed to go to a Cubs-Cards game at Wrigley Field on the day of our anniversary. If it wasn’t for that, I would have never immersed myself in the majestic nostalgia the game of baseball—especially at a place like Wrigley—holds.

I would have never marveled at the view of the lake from my really cheap nosebleed seats. I would have never got to watch Cubs fans throw the opposing team's home runs back on to the field of play—which, unfortunately, happened a lot that day. I would have never drunk so many Old Styles that I thought I had now made 40,000 new best friends.

I would never have experienced the camaraderie that Cubs fans display, as a couple of guys bought my wife and I beers as an anniversary present. I can’t remember their names, of course—but thanks, guys!

I would have never experienced singing along as John Fogerty belted out “Take Me Out to the Ballgame” during the seventh inning stretch. Then, I would never have had to explain to my rather musically ignorant wife just who the hell John Fogerty was. Forgive her, she's a good kid.

I’ve arrived rather late to the game, but I am now a full-fledged baseball fan. I have a new found appreciation for the game’s nuances and strategy. I’m able to recognize talent that involves more than 40 times and vertical jump measurements.

I’m still learning, and enjoying every minute of it as I go along. Double switch? Now I know, which is half the battle—or so I've been told.

It's so exciting to have a whole new sport to obsess over! I’m taking it all in as a newly anointed, but die-hard Cubs fan.

Yeah, yeah, I know what you’re thinking. I know they have the best record in the majors, and won the division last year, but don’t get me wrong.

I’m not a bandwagon jumper. I hate bandwagon jumpers.

When I was fully indoctrinated at the ballpark it was August 20, 2006, and the Cubs sucked. They were in last place in the division, and Dusty Baker could hear the sound of ice cracking everywhere he went.

So, you can’t pin the “bandwagon jumper” label on me. Heck, even as a kid, I always said if I held anything but callous indifference towards baseball, I would probably be a Cubs fan. I mean, any team that counts Ferris Bueller as a fan has to be cool to root for, right?

So, better late than never. Count me as a baseball fan in general—and a Cubs fan at heart.