Bleacher Report - Articles by Lisa Horne

College Football: Defending Clausen vs. Arrogant Irish Fan

Lisa Horne — Tue, 24 Nov 2009 22:26:00 -0500

As I checked out the comments section of the South Bend Tribune Sport's section today, something jumped out at me: the arrogant and delusional Notre Dame fan.

Don't get me wrong. Delusional fans are good for football. They keep butts in seats and ensure a great alumni base. See Florida for proof.

But when your delusional fans are so arrogant that they refuse to see the light, it causes the haters to come out. The reason why there are so many Irish haters is due to yourself. You, the arrogant Irish fan.

Bear with me here, I am actually going to defend your quarterback. I'm just not defending you. And not all Irish fans are arrogant, so don't go there.

Arrogant Notre Dame fan, it's not your fault your school once had a pristine image. Those were the good, old days. But face it, that was then, this is now. And it's time to jump back into reality before you polarize the small section of fans left who still don't have an opinion on Notre Dame football, one way or another.

The problem is simple. When you are winning, it's proof that Notre Dame football is the best. When you are losing, it's time to spin things. Like citing graduation rates, entrance requirements and the tough academics. Transparency kills credibility.

Duke, Stanford and Cal have tough academics as well. But yet, you don't hear them hiding behind excuses for why their teams don't fare well. Instead of living in the past, they slowly reinvented themselves. Granted, Duke fans are pretty obnoxious in basketball season, but they also win a lot. It's allowed. Trust me.

Thirty years ago Notre Dame had no problem winning plenty of games and staying in the National Championship picture with tougher entrance requirements than today's requirements. So spare me the ad nauseum.

What is wrong is with the arrogant fans taking a situation and spinning it into something it may not be because they simply can't believe that any of their students would do something dumb. Like throwing snowballs at the players/coaches on the sidelines, then claim later you were trying to hit the police (does that really make it less serious?)

So here we are in 2009, and your quarterback was involved in an altercation at a bar. Wow. The story, according to the South Bend Tribune , seems pretty cut and dry. But the comments after the story take a life of their own.

Where in the article about Jimmy Clausen getting punched did it say the "fan" who punched him was drunk and belligerent? It didn't, but of course many of the Irish faithful are saying he was, as seen below:

"...if your date was pushed by a belligerent drunk, you would have said/done nothing?"

The implication is obvious: because a man pushed Clausen's date, he must have been a belligerent drunk. Never had it crossed any arrogant Irish fan's mind that hey, he's a college kid in a bar at 2AM? And "it" happens at 2AM? I'm not excusing it, I'm saying it happens.

Yes, "it" happens in South Bend and "it" happens to Notre Dame students so quit spinning this into him being a martyr. Or a victim. He's just a college kid who got in a bar fight. Big whup.

According to the South Bend Tribune, Clausen shoved the "fan" in the throat first. When you shove someone in the throat, chances are an ensuing punch should not be ruled out. The story clearly states what happened, but, according to arrogant Irish fan, he was sucker-punched, because of course, he can't possibly be in a fight on his own volition. After all, that isn't very Notre-Dame-like, now is it?

It is however, very collegiate-like.

There are those who are also claiming that Jimmy was defending his friend's honor. Apparently, she was shoved. Was it accidental, or was it intentional, like the way Jimmy shoved this Boston College player after the game? You be the judge on whether or not Jimmy displays emotional maturity. Somehow, I could never picture Brady Quinn doing this.

It's not like Clausen has never been around alcohol before either. He has, as seen here in his sophomore year participating in Beer Olympics.

Imagine that. A college student having some fun. But Clausen got reamed by many alumni for that picture because it doesn't portray a good image of the school.

Funny, it may not be a good image of Notre Dame, but it's a fairly accurate image of college life and that's exactly my point here.

Notre Dame is no different than any other school. Deal with it. It may have been an oasis thirty years ago, but no longer. When you have players getting in bar fights or arrested for soliciting prostitute s, you are no different.

Jimmy Clausen is probably a hothead and a bit arrogant himself, but he's also a pretty normal college student.

The fact that he's a BIG fish living in a small fish bowl has probably driven him to the point of wanting to bolt to the NFL just to get away from all the Stepford-like fans in South Bend who think he has to be perfect. The fact that he is somehow held to a "higher standard" by some pompous boosters and alumni who can't wait for Notre Dame to return to its "rightful place in football" is what is so disturbing here.

They simply can't admit that they really don't know what happened, but the reality is that there was a bar fight, a punch was thrown and now it's over. But arrogant Irish fan instead inserts his own explanation of what happened because it's just simply not acceptable that an Irish student would do something like this.

The irony of Notre Dame being nicknamed the Fighting Irish due to the perceived nature of Irishmen in pubs is obviously lost on them. Clausen, in my opinion, has upheld the tradition of the Fighting Irish and then some.

Jimmy Clausen ought to get up and tell everyone to STFU and mind their own business. They don't own him. He's not perfect, so quit expecting perfection. He also ought to tell arrogant Irish fans to stifle it because their expectations are impossible to meet and great potential coaches/players are probably scared to death to come play there now.

Arrogant Notre Dame fan, your school is now no different than Florida State when you had your own cheating scandal a decade ago. It got swept under the rug from many Irish fans who to this day, still don't know that Notre Dame lost two scholarships because a football player (Darcey Levy) paid to to have his work done. (To those fans who didn't know about this, you're welcome, this has been a public service announcement).

Yes, your school got busted and sanctioned by the NCAA. Just like a service academy did. And all the great football powers. Congrats, you're in good company.

To be in denial is fine. But there comes a point when denial becomes associated with arrogance, and that is the problem Notre Dame faces.

Arrogance can be justified when you are winning. Arrogance when you have a shell of a football program becomes a dartboard for polarizing yourself, your alumni and potential recruits.

No school is immune from bad press. None. You may think you are above it all, but you are not.

You are a private school with an excellent reputation. Just like Duke. Just like Stanford. Just like USC. Just like Northwestern.

Only your football team isn't as good as theirs. Yet. Let's see if that changes next year.

I got your back, Jimmy. And I got your back, faithful Notre Dame fan.

Arrogant Irish fan, go hang with arrogant Miami fans. You're in good company.

Big Ten and SEC Football: Where Have All the Quarterbacks Gone?

Lisa Horne — Tue, 10 Nov 2009 22:35:04 -0500

It's been a bit dull around here lately, hasn't it?

Two conferences that usually produce great quarterbacks have somehow managed to stop the assembly line production, and it's having a ripple affect.

Remember Troy Smith? Kyle Orton? Tom Brady? Drew Brees? Chad Henne? All great quarterbacks from the Big Ten who made every Saturday fun. Now we have Joey Elliot from Purdue as the highest ranked Big Ten quarterback in the country at No. 25.

The SEC is doing no better. Gone is Matthew Stafford. And who else? Think hard about that. Can we think of any great quarterbacks that have come out of the SEC in the last five years. Jason Campbell? Is that it?

David Greene? He's retired after being waived from three NFL teams—the same guy who holds the SEC all-time career passing yards record. Florida's Chris Leak wasn't even drafted—he was signed after the draft by the Chicago Bears and then was cut. Leak is currently playing in Canada, by the way.

LSU's JaMarcus Russell was drafted by Al Davis. That's all you need to know about him.

To be sure, the last great quarterbacks to come out of the Big Ten and SEC are Tom Brady and Peyton Manning. It's been awhile. Too long, in fact.

Sure we have Daryll Clark from Penn State, but let's face it, he's a system quarterback in a spread HD. Terrelle Pryor from Ohio State has been somewhat of a bust considering all the hype surrounding his recruitment, but there's always next year.

Juice Williams? He's getting sympathy tweets from Daryll Clark.

Tate Forcier seems to be the only real deal in the Big Ten, and lately, he's lost some luster after a great start.

The SEC is in similarly dire straits. The anointed ones are under-performing. Jevan Snead is having a bad year, despite everyone pointing to him as being the next great SEC quarterback. Joe Cox? Uh, no. Greg McElroy? Meh. Jonathan Crompton? He's a crap shoot.

Arkansas' Ryan Mallett is the only SEC quarterback ranked in the top twenty-five at No. 10. The next best quarterback is No. 27 Stephen Garcia. Yeah, the guy who was on a first name basis with the local police last year.

The lack of marquee quarterbacks coming out of these two conferences is alarming.

When Indiana's Ben Chappell is one of the highest ranked quarterbacks out of the Big Ten, something is wrong.

Very wrong.

So what's the big deal, you ask. Are you kidding?

For the armchair football fan, watching Big Ten football or SEC football has been a complete bore. Go ahead and convince yourselves that the reason why the games are so exciting is because the defenses are so great, but you're drinking too much sweet tea and eating too many Brats.

The offenses are mediocre at best, and average-looking defenses are making average-looking offenses look, well, average.

LSU, always known for nasty defenses, allowed Washington to score 23 points and Mississippi State 26 points on their vaunted "D". Georgia, another great defensive team of lore, allowed South Carolina and Arkansas to score a collective 78 points on them over a two-week period.

Go ahead and rave about Florida's D, but who the heck have they played? Here's a rundown: one ranked team (LSU) and a bunch of SEC teams that don't have winning conference records.

In fact, Florida has played exactly one SEC team with a winning conference record.

LSU.

Recognize.

The Big Ten is also suffering from the lack of the "wow" factor. Iowa has beaten three Big Ten teams with winning conference records, but QB Ricky Stanzi's INT-TD ratio is 14-15. Not exactly awe-inspiring. And, he had some help with his win over Indiana, didn't he?

Penn State has played two ranked teams (Iowa and Ohio State) and lost to both. Their offense scored a collective seventeen points.

Tada.

Then there's Ohio State. With all the hoopla surrounding Pryor, you would think the Buckeyes would be exciting to watch. And they are. You just never know which quarterback is going to show up wearing Terrelle Pryor's jersey.

The Buckeyes' best offensive output in terms of scoring was against two teams that don't have winning records—New Mexico State and Minnesota.

So what's in the future for the SEC and the Big Ten?

Go nuts over Tim Tebow now, and he certainly is a winner and national MVP, but he's not a great quarterback.

Great kid. Great attitude. Nice guy. But he's ranked No. 82 in the country. And he won't sniff the first three rounds as an NFL draft pick.

So who will be the next quarterbacks to bring back some excitement in the SEC and Big Ten?

Right now, the No. 1 quarterback prospect, Jake Heaps, is committed to BYU. But Penn State has two of the top seven quarterbacks committed (Paul Jones and Robert Bolden) while Michigan has No. 4 Devin Gardner. Not bad. Get excited Big Ten fans.

The SEC on the other hand, hasn't fared as well so far. Alabama has a commit from No. 5 Philip Sims. That's it for the SEC in top twenty quarterback recruits. JUCO Randall Mackey, a top-25 rated recruit, has committed to Mississippi.

Has the spread finally taken its toll? Have the defenses finally figured out how to stop the spread?

Answers: Yes and yes.

It's simply too hard to recruit spread system quarterbacks and convince them they will succeed in the NFL. Until the NFL embraces the spread, you aren't going to see a lot of spread quarterbacks getting drafted highly.

And because of that, the schools who are running the spread are going to see less and less top recruits come to play for them because their prospects of getting highly drafted are not very good.

Greed is good. Cash makes the world go round. It's all about the Benjamins.

Urban Meyer made the spread a concept en fuego in the SEC. But how many quarterbacks are going to commit to a school that hasn't had a successful quarterback in the NFL recently?

Believe it or not, Ryan Mallett and Stephen Garcia are the future NFL quarterbacks from SEC country. Both are classic pocket passers.

So is Colt McCoy from Texas. And Sam Bradford from Oklahoma. Matt Barkley from USC. Jake Locker from Washington. The list goes on. All of these quarterbacks should get a high draft pick and sign a mega-contract.

The Big 12 and the Pac-10 are now the conferences of NFL quarterbacks. They still run pro offenses and use classic pocket passers as their field generals. The future of quarterbacks is out west.

The Big Ten and SEC are the conferences of spread quarterbacks. And while the SEC is still winning BCS trophies, their luck is about to run out.

The greatest college quarterback of all time will prove that on draft day when his prospects of being a tight end or linebacker are greater than playing quarterback.

And that's a shame.

Because Tim Tebow is the best thing to happen to college football in decades.

The Most Hostile Stadiums in College Football

Lisa Horne — Wed, 04 Nov 2009 18:05:36 -0500

Every stadium can claim to be the most hostile venue in college football- don't we all want to be the 12th man? Make opposing quarterbacks shake and look like a deer in headlights? Watch wide receivers cup their hands to their ears in confusion as they try to hear the quarterback's call signals? Watch a coach burn a timeout due to the play not getting sent in on time? Yep, all stadiums get loud and distracting during rivalry games or games of high importance, but do they stay that way when the team is down? Some stadiums get awfully quiet when the home team isn't up to snuff. These ten stadiums harbor the loudest, most fearsome fans in the country every week, and their stadium showcases them. No matter what team they play, the stadium's acoustics seem to reverberate a decibel level close to ear-shattering. These ten stadiums are what nightmares are made of.

Begin Slideshow

Is the Pete Carroll Dynasty at USC Done? Not So Fast, My Friend

Lisa Horne — Mon, 02 Nov 2009 21:44:41 -0500

The whispers are already starting in Los Angeles.

Just like two years ago when the Lakers lost to the Celtics in the NBA Finals. It's over. Phil Jackson is done. The dynasty is over.

Oh really? Tell that to the 2008-09 Champions Lakers who unfurled their fifteenth banner in Staples Center last week.

Apparently, the pundits have written off Pete Carroll like the media wrote off Mark Twain a bit prematurely.

Twain's famous quote of "The report of my death is an exaggeration" could very well apply to Pete Carroll. While Bruin Nation is licking their chops at the prospect of La-La Land having a new king, let's not go crazy here. Why is there so much negativity surrounding Pete Carroll's "dynasty" right now?

Right off the bat, critics are quick to point out how Carroll-led teams have always lost a "little game" or lost one they should have won. Fair enough, but since USC has been favored in every game since forever—actually, it was two years ago when a Dixon-led Ducks team was favored over a reserve quarterback, Sanchez-led USC team at Eugene—just when are they supposed to lose?

Never? Seriously?

If a team is favored 99% of the time every year, and that team should never lose to a team it is favored to beat, then technically, aren't we asking USC to be undefeated every year? Isn't that just a bit presumptuous? Even the New England Patriots trip up now and then, don't they?

Have fans and the media become so jaded and spoiled that when a team loses to clearly a better team, the coach is to blame?

After the Trojans' debacle in Eugene, one thing became clear— the linebackers aren't up to snuff. Why? They're all young and have to fill the shoes of four linebackers who are now playing on Sundays. Not one or two linebackers gone from the team, but four.

Any other team would get a hall pass for having a gaping box to fill with new linebackers, but somehow, Pete Carroll gets hammered for employing some sort of matador defense against the Ducks.

Several weeks ago, Carroll admitted the team wasn't very good. He put it out there, and yet it was largely ignored. It was dismissed as just coach-speak. It simply can't be true. Carroll's teams always get better as the season wears on and he's always undefeated in November.

What critics fail to look at is the adversity this rebuilding team has had to face. Ronald Johnson was out for almost two months with a broken collarbone. Damian Williams has a sore glute. Fullback Stanley Havili? Dinged up. Tight end Anthony McCoy? Didn't even make the trip to Eugene. Short yardage specialist Stafon Johnson? Gone for the year with a crushed larynx.

The injury list, no matter how extensive, is no excuse, as Carroll has always had depth in key positions. But when you have a quarterback who was attending his senior prom less than a year ago, it's hard to build continuity when key players, key veteran players, keep getting hurt.

What is an excuse is a defense that returns three starters against a prolific offense like the Ducks'. Or, facing a team that has both your former offensive coordinator and defensive coordinator calling plays from the sidelines. The Huskies' players admitted that they knew what the Trojans were calling in Seattle— they were calling it out on the field before the snaps.

So blame Pete for not tweaking the playbook? No, not when you have your starting quarterback hurt and your reserve quarterback, Aaron Corp, playing his first game as a starter. That's not the time to change the playbook.

But someone has to be blamed, right?

How about the pollsters for inflating the Trojans' rankings when clearly, they didn't look like a top fifteen team? They were overrated to begin with. There. I said it. Now deal with it. Ask any fan who watched the Trojans play Oregon State and Notre Dame and the writing was on the wall.

USC led Notre Dame 34-14 going into the fourth quarter yet allowed the Irish to have numerous attempts to tie the game with less than a minute left. USC also led Oregon State 41-23 going into the fourth before hanging on to dear life for the win.

So why USC was even favored to beat the hottest team in the country, on the road, in a very hostile atmosphere, is a bit mysterious. Typical, but not realistic.

So what about now?

Is it entirely possible that Pete Carroll is grooming this team for the future after suffering huge losses on the defense?

Remember the '07 Florida Gators? They had just won a National Championship and went 9-4 the following season. Tebow was still a pup. They lost to Georgia, LSU, Auburn and finally Michigan in the Capital One Bowl.

Who's laughing now?

For those who think the Pete Carroll dynasty is over, ask yourself this: would you take him as a head coach?

While you sit there and ponder the prospects of having one of the winningest coaches (percentage-wise) in the country coaching your team, Los Angeles is not about to hand him over to anyone.

Los Angelenos may vent that the team isn't perfect, but they are a spoiled rotten bunch of fans who are as fickle as Brett Favre making a retirement decision.

Pete Carroll has put USC back on the map. He's given Trojans fans two National Championships and seven BCS Bowl berths.

Pete Carroll gave the country the best National Championship game in the BCS-era when the Trojans played against Texas in the 2006 Rose Bowl.

Pete Carroll has brought "cool" back into college football. Admit it— you would love him to coach your team.

Dynasty over?

The answer is simply this.

Will you bet against him next year?

NCAA Football: Things You Won't See Or Hear This Saturday

Lisa Horne — Thu, 29 Oct 2009 20:48:07 -0400

It's that time of the week to remind you, the college football fan, what you won't hear or see this Saturday from the world of college football.

From Autzen Stadium, Eugene Oregon

A pin drop.

On ESPN

Bob Griese talking about NASCAR, politics or anything that has to do with food. In fact, how about just seeing Bob Griese in the booth?

From Jacksonville, Florida

The Gator Stomp.

At Neyland Stadium

Steve Spurrier and Lane Kiffin in a loving embrace.

From the broadcast booth at The Shoe

"Touchdown, New Mexico State!"

In Stillwater, Oklahoma

Deion Sanders with a field pass attached to his person.

At the Texas Tech-Kansas Game

Three yards and a cloud of dust.

From Waco, Texas

Smack and trash-talking from the Cornhuskers.

In Tallahassee, Florida

More fans at Doak S. Campbell Stadium than at the Lyle Lovett concert on Wednesday.

Scott Stadium, Charlottesville, Virginia

An absence of obnoxious Duke fans.

From Corvallis, Oregon

A UCLA fan not talking about the upcoming basketball season.

From San Antonio, Texas

"Greetings to all of the Washington State fans in attendence."

From Syracuse, New York

An Orange fan not talking about basketball season.

Tulsa, Oklahoma

A blast play from the SMU Mustangs.

Tiger Stadium, Baton Rouge

A close game that sparks interest in renewing the series between Tulane and LSU.

Orlando, Florida

Anyone noticing that the game is played on Sunday, not Saturday.

Smurf Turf

Boise State taking their foot off the gas after leading SJSU by fifty points. (Getting dissed by the BCS is a bitch, Spartans fans.)

Reno, Nevada

Anything resembling an offense or defense from the Hawaii Warriors.

Eugene, Oregon

Lee Corso making another "they shot their wad" comment on air, much to the disappointment of football fans. (Keep it up, Lee. We love you.)

All Hail the Gamecocks' Steve Spurrier, King of the D in the SEC?

Lisa Horne — Wed, 28 Oct 2009 12:54:19 -0400

Guarantees in college football don't come easy, but they are there if you look for them.

June Jones will never be known for three-yards-and-a-cloud-of-dust football. I guarantee it.

Tailgating in Baton Rouge would never include McDonald's hamburgers on the menu, Uga will never don a polka dot bikini on game day, and you would be hard-pressed to not find a future Miss America at the Grove. I guarantee it.

Like the sands of time in an hourglass, now matter how our world changes, some things are consistent and dependable. True to their nature. They never change.

Until now.

Ladies and gentlemen, I give you the King of Defense in the SEC. The master of great defensive line play. The prince of nasty linebackers.

Stand up and applaud for...Steve Spurrier, head coach of the No. 22 South Carolina Gamecocks. Yeah, that guy.

The guy won a Heisman as quarterback for the Florida Gators. The guy who was an offensive coordinator at Duke. The guy who threw the Fun "n" Gun pass-oriented offense into the SEC and drove defensive coordinators nuts.

The Ol' Ball Coach is King of the D?

While Tennessee's defensive coordinator Monte Kiffin has a legion of believers in his Cover 2 D and his resume of defensive genius in big games seems to grow every week, he's got nothing on the Ol' Ball Coach in college football. At least not this year. The Vols are not ranked in the BCS while the Gamecocks are. And it's all due to the D.

Sure, Tennessee is ranked ahead of South Carolina in total defense, but who is ahead of who in pass D? Cocky, not Smokey. That's right. South Carolina is ranked No. 3, while Tennessee's Cover 2 defense is ranked No. 6.

For all of Spurrier's quarterback-mentoring know-how and offensive schematic brain cells, the thing he may go down for in Gamecocks history is not producing great quarterbacks or prolific offenses, but great defense.

And it's a bit hard to swallow right now.

After all, Spurrier was brought to South Carolina to rev up the program after Lou Holtz retired and most everyone assumed that the Gamecocks would be more competitive in moving the sticks.

But that assumption backfired on everyone, including Steve Spurrier.

The laundry list of ineffective Gamecocks quarterbacks has plagued Spurrier since he began coaching at South Carolina. Blake Mitchell? Syvelle Newton? Who? Chris Smelley and Tommy Beecher? *crickets chirping*

None of these quarterbacks were able to grasp the complexity of a Spurrier offense and Gamecocks Nation sat on their hands, waiting for the sky to fall. But a funny thing happened along the way—a stout defense emerged. And it hasn't left in years.

South Carolina is ranked No. 21 in scoring defense this year, allowing just a little over 17 points per game. A fluke? No. Last year the Gamecocks were ranked No. 30 in scoring defense. Uh huh, the Gamecocks are getting even better defensively. Nastier. More fearsome.

Instead of opposing defensive coordinators worrying about how to stop the offense—which seems to do that on its own with little help from the opponent's defense—it's the offensive coordinators worrying about how to score points against the Gamecocks' defense.

While quarterback Stephen Garcia is slowly (albeit, very slowly) progressing in his quest to become the quarterback all recruiters thought he was capable of being, the defense has become the signature unit of Steve Spurrier's team.

Linebacker Eric Norwood made the all-SEC first team preseason and is nationally ranked No. 25 in sacks and No. 3 in blocked punts, while defensive end Cliff Matthews is ranked No. 7 for forced fumbles. Darian Stewart, a safety, is always one of the team's leading tacklers.

Who are these guys?

They are the guys who are ripe for pulling the upset every week no matter who they play due to their outstanding fundamentals such as tackling plus their ability to keep other teams from scoring.

In week one, the Gamecocks allowed NC State a paltry three points. Last week against Alabama, the Gamecocks were in the game despite Mark Ingram rushing for 246 yards. At halftime, the score was 13-6. Not bad against an offense that had averaged 37 points a game.

Stephen Garcia had a miserable first half, including a 4-for-18 effort, a pick six, and five incomplete passes in the endzone. As it has been the last few years, promising drives ended up stalling with no points on the board, but the defense kept the Gamecocks in the game, picking McElroy twice in his first four pass attempts.

The Gamecocks' defense is the reason why they are ranked in the top 25. The Gamecocks' defense is the reason why they are probably the best 6-2 team in the country. You can point to Ellis Johnson, the defensive coordinator, as the reason why the Gamecocks are so stingy in giving up points, but Steve Spurrier is no Bobby Bowden—he is active in all units of the team.

This is Spurrier's team on both sides of the ball. His ego wouldn't have it any other way.

And right now, you would be hard-pressed to find any defensive prepster in SEC country who hasn't looked at South Carolina as a team of interest.

Spurrier has, unwittingly, become the Pete Carroll of the South—his backyard is now a defensive haven for the next Jasper Brinkley, not Matthew Stafford.

A nice, quiet Columbia, South Carolina awaits those who want to be coached by one of the greatest Gators quarterbacks of all time. A Heisman-winning coach. The Fun "n" Gun offensive guru.

Perhaps one of the greatest producers of defense in the SEC.

Yeah, it's hard to believe, but Steve Spurrier has finally found his niche. Defense.

And while offense wins games, defense wins championships.

All hail the king.

College Football's Midseason Stella Awards

Lisa Horne — Thu, 22 Oct 2009 15:01:41 -0400

Grab some popcorn and hide the kids. It's time for the midseason Stella Awards. Because we know you can't wait til the end of the year. Because we know there's another month and a half left for more shenanigans. Because we all need to scream, "Stella" after handing out these awards. Because Stella is some damn fine beer.

"Best Impression of Football Competence by a Basketball School" Award

Oh, to be the school where everyone dreams of playing hoops. So OK, a lot of schools field football teams, but who are we kidding? We expect a very minimum of football excellence from UCLA, Kentucky, North Carolina, North Carolina State, Arizona, Syracuse and....hmmm...who are we missing here?

Sure this year's winner lost to the Richmond Spiders, but they did beat Army, dammit. And they scored 26 points on Virginia Tech. And beat NC State. And have a better record than Florida State.

Winner: Duke

"Most Technologically Challenged Coach" Award

Is it Joe Paterno for calling Twitter "tweedle-doo or tweedle-dee"?

No, no, football nation, this Stella award winner has blessed us with a photo tour of his pirate-fetish themed office. Paterno wouldn't be caught dead with booty near his desk.

Ah yes, mateys, we are talking about a Big 12 coach who retaliated against Texas Tech linebacker Marlon Williams when he tweeted about how he was waiting in a meeting room and the head coach couldn't get there on time.

Captain Hook had a hissy fit and banned twitter from the players, saying:

It’s “a bunch of narcissists that want to sit and type stuff about themselves all the time. We’ll put mirrors in some of their lockers if that’s necessary, but they don’t have to Twitter.”

Winner: Mike Leach

"Worst Heisman Campaign" award

The preseason hype was everywhere, the website was up. And then, the California Golden Bears did what they always do every season—tank consecutive games.

When the eyes and ears of voters are watching their star running back, Jahvid Best, get stuffed at the line and thrown to the ground like a spawning salmon going upstream, it's time to think about backing up your star athletes with some blocking, not hype.

It's too bad too, because Best is a nice guy with great talent. Way to go Bears.

Winner: Jahvid Best's teammates

Worst Performance by a Mascot

There's nothing like watching a grown man come galloping out on a horse to stir up the emotions of a crowd as he takes the field.

There's nothing more surprising then, than seeing that mascot, with plume on hat, waving in the wind, getting bucked off that horse on live television, and then struggling to get back on his mount.

Winner: Virginia Cavaliers

"Most Overrated Player" award

We wanted to root for him—after all, he kept us on pins and needles as to which school he was going to commit to. He was the most exciting quarterback in high school and everybody wanted him.

So far, he's exciting alright, but for all the wrong reasons. Watching this quarterback's ball in the air is like watching a wounded duck take flight. It's not pretty, and its direction seems to be somewhat of a mystery.

But hey, he's a student-athlete, as in one who has a scholarship at a school of higher learning. Obviously, he's still learning, as evidenced by this dilly: "Not everybody is a perfect person in this world. I mean, everyone does....kills people, murders people, steals from you, steals from me."

We should have known he was made for the microphone when he announced his intentions to play for the Buckeyes by saying, "University of Ohio State." D'oh!

Winner: Terrelle "I just love Mike Vick" Pryor

"Beat a Dog When He's Down" Award

You put over 40 years of your life into a school's football team, win two national championships along the way, win five conference championships in the last decade, and when your team isn't up to snuff? You get kicked to the curb like a mangy mutt.

They love you Bobby, they just love the Seminoles more. They said so.

Winner: Florida State University

"Are We Having Fun Yet?" Award

They are managing to win just enough games to keep their coach from shopping at Wal-Mart for flame-retardant underwear again this year.

His hot seat has cooled, but have no fear Cavaliers fans, we know eventually you'll find a reason to have the proverbial couch meet a butane lighter.

In the meantime, being voted one of the five worst coaches of the 2007 season and still having a job after losing to William and Mary (Mary didn't show up, by the way) this year causes one to pause and reflect, doesn't it?

After all, a Virginia Tech fan supposedly started a website called DontfireAlGroh.com.

Winner: Al Groh

"Worst Power Couple" Award

Give it up to this duo for proving that when you're a professional football player, you need to coach those student-athletes better on how to lie with a straight face and not pee in your pants when going face-to-face with the NCAA.

After all, it's been three years since the Bush scandal, and who's still laughing now?

Winners: Deion Sanders and Dez Bryant

"Most Disappointing Game" Award

The build-up for this game was incredible. But the game's outcome was not in doubt—the underdog Razorbacks were going to beat the Gators.

Of course, little did the fans in the stands know that Phil Cuzzi and C.B. Bucknor were secretly officiating this game. In a game of divine intervention by the SEC officiating crew, our young hero Tim Tebow launched an under-thrown pass and was blessed by the refs who determined there should be pass interference because Timmy deserves another shot.

The man upstairs has spoken.

Winner: Arkansas-Florida

"Awful Announcing At Its Worst" Award

If a wide receiver catches a pass, runs forty-five yards, and then loses the ball at the goal line, should we be listening to an announcer ask if it's an incomplete pass? And debate it endlessly, thereby making themselves look not as smart as a fifth grader? Stella!

Winner: The SEC ON CBS

"The Kanye West Disrespect" Award

Was this a mistake? Don't kid yourself. Phil Knight is a marketing genius, but he fell a few notches after this ridiculous USC Trojans licensed apparel was put on the market.

Obviously, only a clueless Euro who wants to look like an American football fan would buy this tragedy of color.

The big question, of course, is who is more insulted by this? USC or UCLA? I guess it depends on whether we are in football or basketball season. For Nike's spring line, Knight will be introducing scarlet and gray Wolverines wear.

Winner: Nike

"The TMI" Award

Sure the Gators get flack for scheduling cupcakes. But it's just because no one will play them, right? Wrong. Gators fans can now eat crow from the rest of football nation after this quote:

"'What happens in 2013 and longer, we'll probably start working on I-AA games,' UF associate athletics director Greg McGarrity told the Sentinel."

Too much information. No room for debate here. Gators like cupcakes. We knew it.

Winner: Florida Gators

"The Beavis and Butthead" Award

Every year the Pac-10 officiating crew comes under scrutiny, and yet every year, they are still equipped with those missile-powered yellow hankies in their pocket. It boggles the mind.

Didn't Oklahoma get the west coast shaft a few years ago in the Oregon Ducks game? Sure it's conceivable to miss a call, but three in one game?

The USC-Notre Dame is a shining example of ineptitude from the Pac-10 crew. The Fighting Irish's fake field goat attempt, which resulted in a TD on the next play, was an "illegal substitutions to deceive" after further review by Dave Cutaia, Pac-10 officiating coordinator.

Instead of first-and-goal, there should have been a five yard penalty and a redo on down, making it fourth-and-seven on the 32-yard line.

But there's more! Taylor Mays was dinged twice for 15 yarders—once in the first quarter, when Mays allegedly hit a runner out of bounds. Except, he was inbounds, according to Cutaia.

Finally, on the Irish's last drive, Mays was flagged for another 15-yarder after officials ruled he hit a defenseless receiver in the head. Cutaia came to the conclusion that Mays led with his shoulder, went over the top of the receiver, and did not contact the receiver above the shoulder.

Of course, Mays' two penalties caused ESPN's Colin Cowherd to call Mays the most "overrated safety" in the country.

Sure the SEC crew stinks, but west coast fans can proudly point at their own crew and say, "We're No. 1." And Colin, how's that foot tasting in your mouth right now? (But we still think you're cool.)

Winners: Pac-10 officiating and Colin Cowherd

And I hereby nominate myself for a Stella award after making two gaffes in this article. Bounceback from the flu is a bitch.

BCS Rankings: Fair or Not?

Lisa Horne — Sun, 18 Oct 2009 23:55:35 -0400

The rankings are out, and already there are some grumblings.

Here are the rankings, with my takes after them. Be careful, I'm in a cranky mood after hearing about Notre Dame's moral victory and no more talk about college football playoffs.

If ever there was a year to justify a playoff system, this is it.

1. Florida

Perhaps we should give the No. 1 ranking to the officials for guaranteeing that win over Arkansas? Something smells a bit offensive in Gainesville—like the offense.

2. Alabama

After you take Tebow to the woodshed in the conference championship game, everyone will believe. In the meantime, quit trying to impress with the pass and tell Nick to stop spending so much time on his hair.

3. Texas

Yep, you can thank the preseason polls for being where you are now. Beating a now .500 Oklahoma is no reason to celebrate. A bipolar Mizzou awaits you.

4. Boise State

One more close call and you will drop like Balloon Boy's dad's credibility.

5. Cincinnati

With five of six "bankable" games left, only Pittsburgh is the question mark. Ask how that worked out for West Virginia. P.S. This might be a good time to approach Ohio State about dumping their cupcakes and putting you on the schedule.

6. Iowa

Finally, some respect. Only Ohio State looks to be a trouble spot. And the anti-Big Ten bias, of course.

7. USC

The loss to the Huskies hurt your rankings and the moral victory by Notre Dame killed your rankings. Go figure. It's the same story every year.

8. TCU

If you don't beat BYU by more than Florida State did (26 points), it's the Maaco Las Vegas Bowl or bust!

9. LSU

If you're going to tank it, tank it against the No. 1 team in the country. You could be the bad-boy spoilers and lose to Auburn this week, which would completely screw up Florida's SOS. Are you game?

10. Miami (FL)

The fact that you still have the (FL) after your name should remind you why your program is still not relevant in football nation. Yet.

11. Oregon

Here we go again, the Ducks are ranked high. Cue the kazoo-wearing fans to get obnoxious in Seattle when they play Washington this week. Eventually, they will lose. They're Ducks.

12. Georgia Tech

And here they thought that the Georgia Bulldogs would be their biggest game this year!

13. Penn State

Yup, we are wondering why you are ranked this highly, too. One marquee game against Iowa, and you lost. Obviously, this is a pity ranking.

14. Virginia Tech

Shhhhhh, Hokies fans. You are the highest-ranked two-loss team and your schedule is a cupcake after this week. Bow down to the Chick-fil-A Bowl.

15. Oklahoma State

That Houston loss is starting to become annoying, isn't it?

16. BYU

This is a temporary resting stop for the Cougs. TCU will make sure of it.

17. Houston

Yep, Oklahoma State is still ahead of you despite you beating them in head-to-head competition. Nobody believes you beat them. You did, right?

18. Utah

Be thankful. You don't deserve this ranking. You beat Utah State, San Jose State, Louisville, Colorado State, and UNLV, but lost to Oregon. Beat BYU or TCU, then we'll be impressed. Kind of.

19. Ohio State

Why are you here? Two big games, and lost 'em both.

20. Pitt

The good news is that the reason why you are still ranked is because the pollsters have more respect for the Big East than the ACC. The bad news is that you're still behind the Big Ten—see Ohio State's ranking for proof.

21. Wisconsin

Proof that, eventually, you can be ranked in spite of mediocrity. Beat Michigan State and Minnesota but lose to Ohio State and Iowa and you get a Top 25 ranking? Guess the Wofford and Northern Illinois wins put them over the top.

22. Arizona

Don't kid yourselves, Wildcats—you are only here because you got the shaft in the Washington game and your coach's last name is Stoops. One of the Stoops brothers has to be ranked, dammit.

23. West Virginia

We're not buying this either, guys.

24. South Carolina

The Cocks are still ranked because they made Alabama sweat. And they beat Kentucky, something Auburn couldn't do.

25. Kansas

This is simply a formality. The Jayhawks will be dumped next week when they lose to Oklahoma. Or, Texas Tech, Kansas State, Nebraska, Texas or Mizzou. Basketball starts in a few weeks.

Notre Dame Coach Charlie Weis: Should He Stay, Or Should He Go?

Lisa Horne — Sun, 18 Oct 2009 21:09:47 -0400

Even the weather gods tried to help the Fighting Irish of Notre Dame with a nippy 39 degree evening greeting the Trojans as they disembarked from their chartered jet at South Bend Airport on Thursday.

The cards were all in place. The upset alerts were being posted on Twitter. This year, the Irish wouldn't need the magical green jerseys. This was their year to stop the streak.

It was a close game. Wait, it was a nail biter full of fourth quarter heroics that should make it another ESPN Classic . But the Irish couldn't pull out another miraculous win. Moral victory for Notre Dame? Perhaps.

But right now, Weis' Fighting Irish have a collective record of two moral victories and three losses against Pete Carroll's USC Trojans. Isn't that just a nice way of saying Weis is 0-5?

The Irish losing streak is now 0-8 against USC, and although Notre Dame has had a longer winning streak against USC, no one cares about that anymore. After all, the BCS is involved, and the money being tossed in its bowls makes "now" more important than "then". The waking up of the echoes is a great legacy, but the echoes have been quiet lately.

The Irish need to be one of the Top Eight teams in the BCS poll for them to get their auto-berth. And they have Boston College, who has owned them recently, next up on their schedule.

In 2005, Weis received a hefty contract extension. Was that a result of the "Bush-push" game moral victory, or rumors of NFL teams supposedly putting Weis on their short list for a head coaching position floating around? Either way, well done, Notre Dame. He's all yours.

It's five years later, and now the question is, has anything improved?

The Irish are currently ranked No. 64 against the run, and No. 104 in total defense. In '05 they were ranked No. 34 against the run, and No. 77 in total defense. Against the pass, the Irish are ranked No. 117, while in '05 they were ranked No. 105.

So far, it's been a rapid decline of the defense even though the recruiting classes have been much better.

In '05, the Irish were 4-1 before they faced the Trojans, with their one loss against rival Michigan State in a heartbreaking OT. This year, the Irish lost to Michigan, another rival, in a heart-breaker.

In '05 and '09, both the Irish and the Trojans were ranked before they played each other, and both teams had BCS bowl dreams.

The outcomes of both games were losses by the Irish, and both losses were labeled as moral victories by the Irish faithful.

There has been no improvement since 2005. In fact, the only improvement has been the competitiveness. There's been more drama. Big whup.

Are moral victories the new low standard by which one of the highest paid coaches in college football is now being judged by?

For a program that has supposedly made progress in Weis' fifth year, aren't they exactly where they were in '05? Going 4-2, and losing both of their biggest games of the year, is a repeat of Weis' intern year. And the internship, now in its fifth year, hasn't progressed to journeyman status yet.

Weis' predecessor, Tyrone Willingham, had a "signature win" and a 7-7 record against ranked teams. Weis' "signature win" was against Hawaii in the Sheraton Hawai'i Bowl last year, and he is 4-11 against ranked teams. Progress? Hardly.

Willingham, by the way, also has something else over Weis: Charlie has never beaten USC with his own players, but Tyrone's players (from Washington) beat the Trojans this year.

Willingham's winning percentage after three years was 58.3 percent. Weis, after four-and-a-half years, is 59.3 percent. And still no signature win. But hey, it's a team loaded with talent.

Is it Weis' fault? Well, since this a man of no excuses, then obviously, yes.

Call it a moral victory against USC, but what it really was to anyone who watched the game was a beatdown going into the fourth quarter, and USC's defensive penalties keeping the Irish in the game.

Jimmy Clausen was on the Heisman short list prior to the game, but fell off afterward. Why? He had four shots at the endzone from SC's eight yard line and failed to deliver. While he gets props for the way he ferociously tears off his chin straps when he makes a good play, the whining antics and general poor sport attitude he displays is probably the reason he has polarized so many voters. The cameras caught him rebuffing Matt Barkley, who was genuinely trying to give him a conciliatory hug.

Arrogant? Yes. Cocky? Yes. Can't win the big games? Yep. Heisman hates that, by the way, because frankly, they like winners. Tebow, he ain't. He has yet to win a game of any relevance.

Clausen is a third year starter, yet his veteran team lost to a true freshman quarterback. In fact, Notre Dame's only two losses this year were to two teams in rebuilding seasons with true freshman quarterbacks, and one team with a new coach and new offensive scheme. Two teams that were their biggest rivals: USC and Michigan.

While fans can sit there and point to Michael Floyd not being in the game, don't forget that Stafon Johnson wasn't in the game, either. Besides, all those top recruiting classes should have depth to cover injuries, shouldn't they?

But what perhaps is a more tell-tale sign, was the pre-game quotes that make you wonder what exactly is going on at Notre Dame.

“They [Notre Dame players] understand the talent level of who they’re going against, but I’d say this is probably the first time since I’ve been here where the players really believe they’re going to win," Weis said. "They might be in the minority but they certainly believe that.”

Isn't this quote a red flag? After five long years, now they, the MINORITY, believe they're going to win ? For the first time?

What were the MAJORITY believing the first four years? And this year? They would lose? And if so, then isn't this mentality the coach's fault? Is this why Weis' Irish have a losing record against ranked teams? Against teams with a winning record?

That and possibly a few other things.

Maybe it's his horrible clock management skills? Clausen was barking at the sidelines to get the plays called in faster, and on the Irish's final drive, twenty seconds ticked off the clock when the Irish were on the Trojans' eight yard line. Apparently, Weis and Co. thought the clock was stopped. A simple look at the clock ticking would have sufficed.

Maybe it's the supposedly improved offensive line that can't seem to handle a four-man rush from a re-tooled defensive line? Clausen was sacked how many times?

Maybe it's the basic fundamentals, like tackling, that prove Weis needs to spend less time in the film room scheming other teams and spend more time on the field giving the tackling dummies a workout?

Maybe it's a head coach saying at half-time he was glad he was only down by six points?

Maybe it's the fans being jack-hammered into buying into the philosophy that "playing with the elites" is the same thing as "beating the elites"? Isn't that what they say at Syracuse?

Maybe when the polls come out, they'll face the truth. There will be no BCS bowl for the Irish this year. No way. When you win with smoke and mirrors, eventually, it catches up to you.

USC is not a great team this year, and the BCS polls reflect that. They had plenty of question marks going into pre-season with eight defensive starters now playing on Sundays, and a true freshman quarterback being put into the field general position.

Notre Dame however, was a talent-laden veteran team with home-field advantage and a Heisman-candidate quarterback. Notre Dame should have beaten USC because they had four shots at the end zone. It was there for the taking.

But their coach, looking befuddled as ever, watched Clausen get tremendous pressure from USC's pass rush. Shouldn't he have known that Carroll would put the game in the D's hands? That Carroll would be aggressive and not play complacent?

Great coaches win games despite mistakes. Great coaches win big games. Great coaches take advantage of their strengths and minimize their weaknesses. Great coaches win games they aren't favored to win. Great coaches improve their team over a period of time.

Great coaches beat their rivals.

In the words of Charlie Weis, "9-3 isn't good enough."

The question is, will the school finally agree? One more loss may make Weis eat his words.

Things You Won't See or Hear in College Football

Lisa Horne — Thu, 15 Oct 2009 17:44:10 -0400

Warning: This article may contain offensive and/or snarky words that may conjure up images unsuitable for sports fans.

Time for another look at what we won't see or hear this week.

Airplane pilot

"Good afternoon, Cal Bears. We are now beginning our descent into Los Angeles. Please return your snack trays and seat backs to their upright positions and prepare for landing."

Charlie Weis

"Next year I personally promise I will end the streak."

Notre Dame Stadium Announcer

"Tackle made by..."

Florida Gators Athletic Department

"We will have no press conferences nor announcements regarding Tim Tebow today."

Steve Spurrier

"Now do you believe me when I said my vote for Jevan Snead was a mistake?"

Lane Kiffin

"For my next trick, I will use this bye week to tell Nick Saban how awesome his team is and we don't have a chance to beat them."

Joe Paterno

"We are happy to be in the meat of our schedule with Minnesota, Northwestern, Indiana, and Michigan State slated to get an effing beatdown from us."

Ohio State Buckeyes

"Tress says we can tweet from the sidelines—he will be giving us a demo on how to use twitter after Lady Gaga's pep rally speech."

Mack Brown

"I hope Oklahoma is as big a pushover as Colorado was."

Bob Stoops

"We are right where we wanted to be at this point in the season."

Florida State recruit

"I committed to the Seminoles because of the school's leaders' camaraderie, strict academic standards, and solid tradition of football excellence."

Jim Grobe

"It's good to hear the Demon Deacons' name on every pundit's lips this year, isn't it?"

Al Groh

"I have always believed in the adage, 'It doesn't matter what people say as long as they're talking about you.'"

Duke Blue Devils

"We always knew we would someday be ahead of Florida State in football—can we act obnoxious now?"

Pete Carroll

"Winning would do wonders for my spirits."

Rick Neuheisel

"Rose Bowl or bust."

Mike Stoops

"We lucked out getting Washington and Stanford back-to-back."

Oregon Ducks

"We decided on magenta, OK?"

Jim Leavitt

"Somebody pinch me. Even I don't believe it."

Brian Kelly

"My dream job is Notre Dame."

Greg Paulus

"Piece of cake."

Boise State Athletics Department

"We still maintain that having Bowling Green, UC Davis, Utah State, New Mexico State, and Idaho on our schedule will not hurt our SOS."

Creature vs. Creature: A Trojan Perspective on Notre Dame-USC

Lisa Horne — Wed, 14 Oct 2009 12:39:03 -0400

This Saturday, college football's greatest intersectional rivalry will take place in South Bend, Indiana. The forecast is cold and cloudy with a 100 percent chance of rain on one team's BCS parade. Will it rain on Trey Bradley's parade?

The loser of this game will probably not play in a BCS bowl—Notre Dame won't go because the media will dump them in the rankings and USC won't go because they still have some brutal conference road games ahead of them.

Irish head coach Charlie Weis, in casually resplendent words, said "Winning would do wonders for my spirits." Not only would it do wonders for his spirits, it would do wonders for his job security.

For the second straight year, Weis' resume of wins has come under fire—his Irish have beaten just a sprinkling of teams with a winning record and have dropped four straight games to the Trojans.

Ironically, Tyrone Willingham's players (Washington) have beaten USC this year—the sting of that is on a lot of Irish fans' faces. It's like walking on Michigan Ave. in February without a muffler in -30 degree wind chill. Brutally painful.

Expectations for a BCS Bowl are high on both sides, but while USC is in somewhat of a rebuilding mode on defense, the Irish are loaded on both sides of the ball. It's do-or-die for Weis. No excuses.

So who or what will give Notre Dame the biggest problem?

Simply put, the Irish have to figure out how to contain the USC backfield. The Irish are ranked No. 68 against the run, giving up over 139 yards per game. USC, still breaking in a true freshman quarterback in Matt Barkley, would love to establish a strong running game to keep the D honest, and thus open up deep ball possibilities with a Barkley-to-Ronald "Rojo" Johnson combo.

USC is ranked No. 17 in rushing offense, averaging over 208 yards a game. The Trojans' game plan will be simple—keep Clausen and Co. off the field by sustaining long, clock-chewing drives that wear down the defense and throw deep every now and then with Rojo (collarbone) back in the mix.

With emotions running high over Stafon Johnson's serious neck and throat injury, the running backs are going to be highly-motivated to win one for Stafon—the team will have stickers that read, "Sta Fight on 13" on their helmets. The Trojan horses will be running fast out of the gate—can the Irish D corral them?

What will be USC's biggest weakness against the Irish?

While the Trojans have a very experienced secondary, their linebacking corps aren't as long in the tooth. Notre Dame is ranked No. 60 in the country in rushing offense, but No. 8 in passing. Obviously, Weis would like a more balanced offense, but the pass will be their main weapon.

The question is, can Clausen expose the young linebackers with middle routes, bubble screens and slants? The possibility of going long against the Trojans is there, but passing touchdowns against USC are not going to be easy—the Trojans are the only team in FBS to not surrender a passing touchdown.

The Trojans' D relies on a bend, don't break philosophy, so Clausen should be able to throw for a lot of yards in the middle. However, how many receivers are going to hang on to the ball when Taylor Mays is running full speed at them, licking his chops? Can we nominate TE Kyle Rudolph? He's tough as nails, has good YAC stats and between Rudolph and Golden Tate, can keep the secondary guessing.

While the Trojans' chink in their armor may be the short pass, it also may be a strength if Mays cheats out of his safety position. And Nick Perry blitzes. Clausen under pressure is one experiment that Notre Dame doesn't want to repeat—he has a tendency to throw the ball up for grabs under duress. While an average-sized receiver may catch that ball over a 5-11 DB, he won't over a 6-3 Taylor Mays.

What Weis needs to capitalize on is the Trojans' paltry third down conversion percentage—they are ranked No. 113 with a pathetic 28.8 percent success rate. If the Irish D can hold USC to a field goal in the red zone, the Trojans will get frustrated, especially after a long sustaining drive.

The pressure is on Weis and Clausen

Weis' internship is over—if he can't beat USC, he is toast. All the gorgeous recruiting classes and the fluffy schedules in the past two years were there for him to go to the National Championship games. He has the talent—this team is one of the most talented teams in the country. Clausen should be the No. 1 Heisman candidate and Golden Tate is a special wide receiver.

But having a ton of talent is like going to the butcher and buying filet mignon. If you buy it, bring it home and over-cook it, it doesn't taste any different than a cheap steak.

Pete Carroll owns Notre Dame. This doesn't sit well with the Irish faithful. Their overall series lead is shrinking fast, and moreover, losing to USC an eighth time might just be the straw that breaks the camel's back. The coffers are full and Jimmy Clausen may reconsider sticking around next year if Weis is relieved of his coaching duties.

Weis' team is loaded with filet mignon, it's time to see if he knows how to serve it.

Prediction

USC 31, Notre Dame 24

College Football: Things You Won't See or Hear This Saturday

Lisa Horne — Thu, 08 Oct 2009 13:02:24 -0400

Here's what you won't see or hear this Saturday:

Tim Tebow on a blast play.

Serenity in Tiger Stadium, Baton Rouge, Louisiana.

Ole Miss fans talking trash with Crimson Tide fans.

Lane Kiffin claiming the flu infected his entire team, and that's why they lost to Georgia.

Pollsters actually paying more attention to Auburn after they go 6-0.

Penn State playing a quality team this Saturday.

Joe Paterno actually admitting that Eastern Illinois did not get scheduled because they were good at the time they scheduled them.

The over being more than 50 points for the Ohio State-Wisconsin game.

The over being more than 50 points for the Iowa-Michigan game.

The over being fewer than 50 points in the Minnesota-Purdue game.

Texas playing a quality opponent this Saturday.

The winner of the Mizzou-Nebraska game striking fear into the Big 12 South.

Announcers in the Oklahoma-Baylor game going five minutes without mentioning Sam Bradford and Robert Griffin.

Bob Stoops smiling.

Dez Bryant having a record-breaking day at College Station, Texas.

Zac Robinson tweeting at half-time.

Deion Sanders being added to Mike Gundy's Christmas card list.

Cody Hawkins being named the Davey O'Brien Foundation's National Quarterback of the Week.

Bobby Bowden loving the planned "blackout" in Tallahassee.

The Hurricanes suffering a hangover against Florida A&M.

ESPN announcing that Indiana vs. Virginia is the Game of the Week.

The Bruins selling out the Rose Bowl this Saturday. Or any Saturday.

Mike Stoops feeling giddy about playing the Washington Huskies. In Seattle. With a forecasted high of 55 degrees.

The Oregon Ducks coming to the Rose Bowl with understated unis.

Steve Kragthorpe having a desk to come back to after Southern Miss beats The Ville.

Las Vegas having a huge spike in gambling when BYU rolls into town.

Tulane being asked to join the SEC.

Someone mentioning the fact that there are only two Sun Belt games this Saturday. Better yet, anyone noticing.

Wisconsin Gives Green Light For NFL Players To Run Red Lights

Lisa Horne — Wed, 07 Oct 2009 21:24:58 -0400

The land that gave us bratwursts and Kohl's, cheese and Greta Van Susteren, has now set a precedent that is surely going to ire the residents of Green Bay, Wisconsin.

The Wisconsin Senate has passed a bill that allows NFL players (who are tardy getting to Lambeau Field) to run red lights via police escort. It awaits the Governor's signature, who is expected to sign it.

One of the main proponents of the bill was the Radisson Paper Valley Hotel in Appleton, the normal digs for all of the Green Bay Packers' opponents. Their position was clear- a police procession would ensure the players get to Lambeau Field on time, and thus, ensure future reservations with all of the Packers' opponents.

"It's not just about the Packers. It's about statewide special events, VIPs, and right now the only people who can go through stoplights and stop signs are funeral processions," said Sen. Dave Hansen, D-Green Bay.

Uh, OK, Dave.

Suuuuuuuuure it isn't about the Packers. After all, if the Packers weren't in Green Bay, we would still come to Green Bay every Sunday, right?

Hansen's a pure politician, isn't he?

I'm fairly sure all of Hansen's future visits to the Radisson Paper Valley Hotel will be comped, just as I am sure the hotel's manager will fall into luck every Sunday and be treated to some 50 yard-line seats from an anonymous donor.

The VIPs in Green Bay actually causes one to pause and reflect, doesn't it? Are we talking about people late to a ribbon-cutting ceremony at a bridge renovation? Or President Obama?

Apparently, there's just too much stuff going on in Green Bay, dammit, and this bill is not about the NFL.

No. No. No.

The silliness of this whole thing is obvious- how many dignitaries have had problems getting around Green Bay? Better yet, how many dignitaries have visited Green Bay so far this year? And how many were late getting to their VIP functions?

Green Bay is a very spread-out city and traffic is NOT an issue. Sure, it gets a little hairy on game days, but I'll take their traffic over the Raiders or 49ers' traffic any day of the week and twice on Sunday.

Talladega, Alabama is much smaller than Green Bay, and for some reason, getting 180,000 people in and out of the venue on NASCAR race days, while grueling, isn't cause for a change in law.

"Leave earlyfor the race" seems to work there.

To prove my point about traffic problems in Green Bay, I went to weather.com and clicked on traffic information for Green Bay, Wisconsin. This message came up in a box: "Traffic information is not available for Green Bay, WI (54344). Zoom out to view traffic coverage."

If you don't have traffic information for a city, you don't have traffic problems.

The whole thing is a bit convoluted, but one thing is for sure- maybe the friggin Radisson Paper Valley Hotel ought check their wake-up service to see if it works properly.

Maybe the training staff and assistant coaches should instill a little more discipline? Maybe they should leave an hour earlier for work like all the rest of us idiots do?

Meanwhile, I wonder how all the expectant mothers in Wisconsin are feeling about this bill.

Hey, if you're in labor, wait at the damn light. You aren't important enough, but an NFL player late to work is.

Get your priorities straight, woman!

There's nothing like seeing Brett Favre in a Vikings uni getting an escort through a red light when your water just broke over your Lexus' leather seat while you wait for the procession, is there?

There will be, of course, the inevitable football player who " misremembers" what the rule is and takes it upon himself to run the red lights, without the police escort, in his giant rented SUV.

You just know this will happen because time and time again, these logic-challenged players don't understand the rules until after they break them.

"We can run red lights and stop lights going to Lambeau Field? Let's rip it, boys!"

When do the Bengals play the Packers at Lambeau next year?

It should be an interesting Sunday.

Tim Tebow: Over-Hyped Heisman Candidate (So Far)

Lisa Horne — Tue, 06 Oct 2009 17:55:08 -0400

I like Tim Tebow. He’s good for college football because he possesses good work habits, has good ethics and morals, is tough as nails, and, unlike some of the other “stars” of college football, he isn’t in the spotlight for all the wrong reasons.

College football needs more Boy Scouts like Tim Tebow.

But I think we’ve had just about enough.

Tim Tebow is a good thing that is starting to get on people’s nerves.

It’s like watching fifty episodes of Barney—those goody-two shoes kids that surround that purple dinosaur tend to get tiresome after a while. There’s just so many over-the-top, sugary-sweet personalities you can take before the reality starts to sink in—this is not real. Normal kids don’t act like this. It’s a scripted fantasy for delusional parents.

The media has latched on to Tim Tebow as some sort of Superman and his fans have promoted him as the second coming of Mother Teresa. He’s the end-all for us mere mortals. We are not worthy.

When Tebow got a concussion in the Kentucky game, we were inundated with four-times-an-hour videos of him barfing in a bag. Then there were the breaking news press conferences showing Meyer announcing, “Tim is doing much better.”

Tebow’s coach spent the night with him in the hospital—even though his parents were also there—and that’s just a little over the top for me. A newborn infant receives less attention than this adult.

Good God, America. Are we seriously in need of this much Tebowism? It’s getting to the point of over-saturation, and sooner or later, the masses will arise and yell, “I need a bad boy in college football.”

Blame the media—they are the fire flamers.

The proverbial line in the sand has to be drawn, however, because Heismanpundit.com, a very accurate predictor of the award winner, and several ESPN analysts have Tebow as the No. 1 candidate for the Heisman.

The questions is, why?

Tebow is currently ranked No. 91 among all college football quarterbacks. No. 91. Granted, the rankings are compiled by number of yards thrown—the more prolific the passer is in terms of total yardage, the higher the ranking.

Still, you would be hard-pressed to award any player who ranks in the bottom tier of quarterbacks on any list.

So what are his numbers?

Tebow has completed 44 of 68 for 643 yards in four games. That comes out to a little over 160 yards per game. He has completed 64.7 percent of his passes, and has a 6-1 TD-INT ratio. Heisman worthy? Sixty-eight attempts? Hardly.

If you compare his stats to Jimmy Clausen, they look even smaller.

Clausen has completed 67.6 percent of his passes—that’s higher than Tebow’s percentage. Clausen has a 12-2 TD-INT ratio, which is an identical radio to Tebow’s but with a much larger sample size, and has completed 100 of 148 throws for 1544 yards—his average is 308.8 yards per game. He has also done it without playing two cupcakes.

If a quarterback has better numbers than a Heisman candidate and has done it by throwing for more than twice as many yards, why isn’t he on everyone’s lips? And why is the lesser quarterback being touted more?

The Tebow love affair is all well and good, but let’s be honest here—Tebow has not won any games by his single-doing—the team has.

Clausen, on the other hand, has done it on his own.

Three (almost four) come-from-behind-drives-for-the-win have solidified Clausen as the best quarterback in college football. So far.

The problem for Clausen is his image—no one was impressed with his entrance in a white Hummer limo on his announcement day in front of the College Football Hall of Fame in South Bend. The flashy rings on his fingers further fueled the arrogant moniker.

Clausen has had to repair his image while Tim Tebow has had the inevitable task of trying to live up to his. While both are difficult to do, it’s easier to go into an award competition when the entire world is having a slobbering love affair with you rather than play for a team that is polarizing, to say the least.

Life isn’t fair, but the Heisman is supposed to be, right?

The real issue with Heisman is that it has become a Mr. Congeniality Contest. Or, a “Let’s make it fair award.”

Colt McCoy has been touted as No. 2 on the Heisman watch list, and the reason for him being there is even more alarming—since Bradford and Tebow have already won it, let’s give it to the third Musketeer. A fellowship of Kumbaya will commence afterward.

Since when do players get an award because they are part of a trio and all should get the Heisman? What about players like Jimmy Clausen? Or Cincinnati’s Tony Pike? Mizzou’s Blaine Gabbert? They are shining above the rest of the quarterbacks but have been relegated to a possible third invitee to New York. Or a total snub.

Heisman’s famed statue is now nothing more than a popularity contest, and everyone knows it. While the voters pat themselves on the back for awarding another player that didn’t deserve the statue—and there have been plenty—the rest of America will simply tune out the farce it has become.

Are we all that afraid to say a player isn’t worthy to win the Heisman this year in fear of being sent straight to the fiery depths of Hell?

Admit it, you don’t want to be the one who says it. Let someone else say it and then say, “Finally, someone has the onions to say what I’ve been thinking.” (You’re welcome, by the way.)

This isn’t an anti-Tebow thing—it’s just speaking the truth. I think he’s a magnificent representative of how young men should conduct themselves. He is the perfect role model for the student-athlete.

He has not, however, played like the best college football player on the field this year, so far. Not even close.

Tell me you're giving it to Tebow because he’s just so likeable. Or because he performed circumcisions in Third World countries during his spring break. Or because he’s still pure and innocent. Tell me you're giving him the award because he apologizes when his performance lets down his minions.

But don’t tell me you're picking him based on his performance so far.

Oh, and God Bless America and Tim Tebow.

Amen.

Oregon Ducks' LeGarrette Blount May Be Reinstated Nov. 7

Lisa Horne — Fri, 02 Oct 2009 15:36:28 -0400

It started last night.

Word started leaking out that Oregon Ducks running back LeGarrette Blount could possibly be reinstated from his indefinite suspension.

Chip Kelly's presser on Friday was supposedly going to address his feelings on the matter—ESPN broke the news prior to noon PT.

Nothing is definitive, according to Kelly. But we do know this—Blount may possibly be reinstated, and if he is, the earliest date of his return would be Nov. 7 against Stanford.

Interesting PR here.

First, many sites had reported that Blount was suspended for the entire season—the Ducks, however, alluded to an indefinite suspension, meaning there was no definitive date of his possibly returning. Technically, the Ducks have not reneged on their official suspension of Blount if they do decide to reinstate him, and if, in fact, it was merely an indefinite suspension, and not a year-long suspension.

But then, the Pac-10 has this to say about the suspension:

"The University of Oregon may appeal to the Conference for a reduction in the original disciplinary actions taken against LeGarrette Blount," [Commish] Scott said. "The power to reinstate rests with the Conference, and if and when the university decides to make such an appeal, the Conference will take the matter under advisement and make a decision."

The Pac-10's website also said, "Blount was suspended for the 2009 season as a result of unsportsmanlike actions following Oregon's September 3 football game at Boise State."

Are you as confused as the rest of us?

Secondly, the date of the possible reinstatement specifically avoids Blount possibly playing in the game against USC on Halloween. A very important game.

For sure, if Bobby Bowden had been making the call, Blount's butt would be playing on Halloween.

But Oregon is making somewhat of a statement by not having him play at Autzen in the Ducks' biggest game of the year. In other words, they are making small concessions and proactively appeasing the critics who would be yelling "Sell out!" if he were to play in that game.

The Ducks have made a stand by saying, in essence, "We will probably reinstate him, but he's not playing in the USC game because we don't want you to think we are sacrificing our ethics to win a game."

It's a good move, but still, you have to wonder what Joe Pa would have done here. Probable year-long suspension? Yep.

In Blount's defense, he is a new father, and was probably banking on an NFL career next year. The school may have had second doubts about "ruining" Blount's draft status and thus affecting the potential income he would use toward supporting his child.

Forgotten, perhaps, is the fact that Blount was suspended preseason for conduct detrimental to the team, was reinstated, then punched a Boise State player on national television, which resulted in another suspension.

Isn't Blount the one who potentially ruined his career? Fatherhood aside, Blount is responsible for his actions, and caving in to a player's campus-wide apology may not help this young man. Then again, becoming a new father and carrying a chip on his shoulder won't help his prospects either.

While we won't know for sure if and when Blount returns, one thing remains clear—if the punching incident hadn't happened on national television, there is a likely chance Blount would have just received a one-game suspension.

The fact that it was captured on television and broadcast nationally forced Oregon to punish Blount more than if a punch had been thrown and no one had seen it.

Recently, a Michigan player punched a Notre Dame player, and he didn't receive an indefinite suspension from the school, even after Michigan head coach Rich Rodriguez was shown videotape of the incident. Michigan's Jonas Mouton received a one-game suspension from the Big Ten, not the school, for giving an Irish player an uppercut as he was getting up from the turf.

No one screamed about him being suspended indefinitely and the school didn't even punish him—the conference did.

So the question begs to be asked—did LaGarrette Blount get an excessive punishment?

And is the Mouton incident the reason for Oregon possibly reinstating him?

Notre Dame: The Favored BCS Child

Lisa Horne — Wed, 30 Sep 2009 00:13:39 -0400

There have been many debates as to whether or not the Fighting Irish of Notre Dame have a favored status within the BCS.

True, they don't get an automatic berth like the ACC, Big East, Big Ten, Big 12, Pac-10 and SEC champions do, but they do, as an independent, get an automatic berth if they finish in the top eight.

No other independent is afforded that luxury, nor do any of the non-BCS conferences have that same guarantee—they must finish in the top 12 (or top 16 and their ranking higher than a BCS conference champion.)

Irish apologists will point out that some BCS conference champions have had a lousy record, but because they are a BCS conference champion, they get a hall pass into a BCS bowl. After all, a No. 15 Big East champion should not get a bowl berth over say, a No. 11 Notre Dame team, should they?

Yes, they should.

Notre Dame does not play a demanding conference schedule. They have the luxury of picking and choosing (except for the traditional rivalries with USC, Michigan State and Navy) who they play and to some extent, where they play.

Notre Dame's Athletic Director Jack Swarbrick makes no bones about it—Notre Dame prefers a schedule model of 7-4-1. That's seven home games, four road games and one game at a neutral site. That model decidedly favors the Irish every year.

Take a look at Texas' schedule this year—their last four of six games are on the road. Or look at USC's schedule—four of their first six games are, or will be, on the road.

Because of contractual obligations to conference play, a team simply cannot get a guaranteed seven home games a year, year after year. They may get lucky for a stretch by scheduling FCS schools at home for non-conference play, but even the perennial SEC offenders are starting to do home-and-home formats out of pressure from football nation.

With the Irish in complete control over who and where they schedule, they are escaping the brutality of conference play. If you look at most of the elite teams, it's not their non-conference games that knock them down in the polls, it's their conference games that do it. Notre Dame bypasses that entire roadblock.

While Notre Dame can pick where they want to play, the Cal Golden Bears are busing their players down for the UCLA game due to budget cuts in the state. They can't get out of their every-other-year date at UCLA. It's contractual with the Pac-10.

Still, so far, there hasn't been definitive proof that the Irish are favored by the BCS.

Until now.

What is the BCS really all about? It's the Benjamins, and it is here where the Irish are clearly favored, and unjustly so, in the current BCS equation.

Each BCS conference gets approximately $18.3 million for its participation in the BCS bowls. If they send a second team to a BCS bowl (ie. Florida and Alabama both played in BCS bowls for the 2008 season), then the conference that sends a second team receives an additional $4.5 million.

The numbers don't lie— around $18.3 million for a 12 member conference averages out to about $1.525 million per team. If they send a second team to a BCS bowl, that comes out to roughly $1.875 million per team.

Notre Dame, however, has a "special" clause.

Notre Dame receives 1/66th of the net revenues after expenses.

No matter what.

That's right. They can have a 3-9 season and get 1/66th of the revenues for stinking badly—1/66th comes out to approximately $1.3 million dollars, by the way.

But there's more. If Notre Dame is selected as a BCS bowl participant, they are guaranteed a whopping $4.5 million. Period. All to themselves. No sharing with a conference.

When you consider that all the non-BCS conferences (MWC, WAC, MAC, C-USA and Sun Belt) get an aggregate of nine percent of revenues ($9.6 million, last year, $1.92 million per conference) and $4.5 million to ALL the non-BCS conferences ($900,000 per conference) if one of their members goes to a BCS bowl, clearly, there is some disparity.

A BCS conference team that sends a second team BCS bowling gets to keep the extra $4.5 million within its conference, rather than have to share it with the other BCS conferences. The non-BCS conferences have to share all of it.

Some persepctive, if you will.

Utah went to the Sugar Bowl this last January, and because of that, each non-BCS conference received around $1.92 million plus $900,000 for a grand total of $2.82 million. If you divide $2.82 million up equally among the nine members of the MWC, that's $313,000 per team.

Last year, Notre Dame received $1.3 million from the BCS and $750,000 for going to the Hawaii Bowl.

The MWC sent a team to a BCS BOWL and received roughly 2.82 mil as a conference. They then had to divvy up the revenues to each of its teams. Notre Dame received 1.3 for NOT going to a BCS bowl. And didn't divvy with anyone.

Does anyone wonder why Utah's Senator Orrin Hatch is ready to stand on the hill and die trying to convince everyone how unjust this system is?

Favored status? Notre Dame?

It's not even close.

*BCS revenues distributions source: 2009 BCS Media Guide

**Hawaii Bowl payout source: SheratonHawaiiBowl.com

***revenues are apporiximate

The Polls Uncovered (Humor)

Lisa Horne — Tue, 29 Sep 2009 18:11:14 -0400

A snarky look at the top twenty. Insert tongue in cheek and let's rip it.

No. 1 Florida

They didn't look great against Tennessee, and they don't have that world-beaters look about them. Will lose to either LSU, South Carolina or a ticked-off, vacated wins Florida State team. If they lose early enough in the season, look for the one-loss Gators to jump ahead of three undefeated teams at end of regular season because _________(insert non-sensical reason here.)

No. 2 Texas

Colt McCoy hasn't looked very Heisman-like, the Horns haven't beaten anyone with a pulse so far (Texas Tech lost to Houston last week) and if the Sooners don't beat them in the RRR, then Mizzou will catch Bevo napping the following week. I like my steak rare, by the way.

No. 3 Alabama

The Crimson Tide look fantastic, don't they? Didn't they look fantastic last year too? Therein lies the problem—the Tide haven't been able to "finish" the season for the last five years, dropping their final two games (9 out of 10) with alarming regularity. Count on underrated Auburn dropping a birdy deuce on the Tide November 27th. Losing your last game of the season won't keep you in the top two even if you were undefeated prior to facing War Damn Eagle.

No. 4 LSU

Count on the Tigers to lose to Georgia in a close battle. Count on LSU to beat Florida in a night game in the Bayou, skate by the rest of the season and get into the NC game after winning the SEC. They are playing just shaky enough for me to be convinced they are destined. Karma with a Bayou twist is a bitch, ain't it?

No. 5 Boise State

If Utah couldn't get in undefeated, why should the Broncos? The BCS will muck this up if Boise State goes undefeated—count on it. But no worries, Boise State will lose to Tulsa and the inevitable chants of "overrated" will permeate the air like the bell ringers outside Wal-Mart in December.

No. 6 Virginia Tech

Is this what it has come to? A one-loss ACC team is ahead of undefeated Auburn and Kansas? Before you fear the Hokies making it to the NC, just remember they have to play Boston College, who has owned the Hokies for three years—expect to see the Hokie Bird lay an egg on October 10th.

No. 7 USC

USC's recipe for a football season: Open up the season with high expectations. Add one giant can of whoop ass from a non-conference game and beat into a frenzy. Fold in one loss to overwhelming underdog. Whip until frothy, then simmer over low heat for two months. Pour into pan, bake at 350 degrees until Trojans miss another National Championship game berth. Test for doneness when USC fans scream about a playoffs system. Leftovers can be frozen for exactly one year. (By the way, do you get the feeling the pollsters only watched the first quarter of the Wazzu game and then mailed in their ballots?)

No. 8 Oklahoma

If they beat Miami (FL) what will that prove? If they lose to Miami (FL), how long will it take for the Landry Jones Porn Stache fad to disappear back to its rightful place (the San Fernando Valley Porn Hall of Fame)?

No. 9 Ohio State

Things are-a-changing in Columbus. Jim Tressel actually got fired up and called the Big Ten's suspension of Kurt Coleman "bad judgment." So maybe the swagger is back? Only if they beat New Mexico State (on Halloween) by 50 points—anything less than that and it's a trip to Pasadena and a chance to get their nuts chopped off by a disgruntled Pac-10 team.

No. 10 Cincinnati

Oh please. Seriously? Having Louisville, Syracuse and directional Missouri State on your schedule apparently fooled some Ohioan writers who just couldn't help themselves and put another Ohio team in the mix. Just in case?

No. 11 TCU

Beating Clemson was impressive. But Georgia Tech beat them too. In fact, let's see the Horned Frogs beat Utah (it's been once in five tries) before we shower them with some BCS-buster love that is currently embracing the Boise State Broncos. Horses are cooler than Horned Frogs.

No. 12 Houston

Is this a Texas thing? What I don't get is why the Cougs are ranked behind Boise State—their record is identical to Boise State's, but the Cougs have more quality wins. Let's hope that C-USA (East Carolina last year) curse doesn't get to them. And that the pollsters stay up past midnight so they can actually watch a western game in its entirety.

No. 13 Iowa

Beating an overrated Penn State is good for No. 13? I can't wait to see what Penn State gets when they beat Ohio State.

No. 14 Oklahoma State

Boone Pickens State has a bye this week—look for the prices at the gas pumps to inch their way up proportionately to the amount of losses the 'Pokes rack up. It's just good business.

No. 15 Penn State

Perhaps this would be a good time to take Iowa off the schedule for a few years and put in Wisconsin or Purdue instead?

No. 16 Oregon

All it took was a beatdown on Cal and a loss to a No. 5 team for the hideously-uniformed Ducks to get back in the picture and nab a probable Holiday Bowl.

No. 17 Miami (FL)

Unfortunately for the 'Canes, they still have to distinguish themselves from that school in Ohio by having the "FL" after their name.

No. 18 Kansas

Must we keep having to see a Big 12 North team in the top twenty? We all know what will happen in the conference championship. The humanity of it all.

No. 19 Georgia

If the Dawgs beat Florida in the WLOCP, the SEC East will get its groove back because right now, it's the Gators with an occasional sprinkling of South Carolina. If they lose...well....nobody will care. It's Tebow time.

No. 20 BYU

Beat the Sooners and you're a hero. Get spanked by Florida State and you're a goat. Hey, you wanted to get the BCS conferences' attention. You got it.

The Yin and Yang Of College Football

Lisa Horne — Sat, 26 Sep 2009 00:07:18 -0400

Tailgating in Wisconsin is brats and cheese on the back of a pick-up.

Tailgating in Seattle is fresh salmon and wine on the stern of a boat.

A great cheer at Beaver Stadium is, "We are...Penn State."

A great cheer at Williams-Brice stadium is, "Go Cocks Go."

Old school in Alabama means a giant number on helmets.

Old school in Eugene means puke yellow helmets.

You get the drift here. What one person or region delights in, another eschews. There are some things in college football that just bug me to no end, but probably float another person's boat.

It's the yin and yang of college football.

I'm not a big fan of Brent Musberger, despite his presence in the bastions of college football traditional announcing. Sorry, but he doesn't hold a candle to Keith Jackson. Yeah, Jackson's retired, but I don't care. I miss Keith.

I don't get Musberger's constant repetition of his phrases, such as, "You're looking live...."

Yes Brent, I know it's live, the TV schedule says it's live. I'm also not your "partner," just ask my husband. I'm not "folks," either. I live in California, you can call me "honey," and I swear, I won't get offended. "Folks" is for the Big Band era set, by the way, not Joe Cool football fan.

Is it just Musberger who gets on my nerves? Heck no.

I like Lou Holtz simply because he amuses the hell out of me. By the way, so does Borat and Adam Sandler. I know Holtz is a Irish homer, but at least you know where he stands—he's not thinly veiled like some other announcers.

This isn't to say Holtz doesn't raise my ire—calling USC, "the University of Spoiled Children" not once, but twice, on air last week is not only classless, but really, a frat-boy, sophomoric attempt at humor. It's really beneath a guy who expounds on what a classy school Notre Dame is—which they are. But Lou isn't representing well, now is he?

Then there's the total SEC bias going on. Seriously, if an SEC team loses to a lower or middle-tiered team in conference play, then the reason why is they lost is because the SEC beats everyone up in conference play because they are all so good.

When a Pac-10 team loses to another Pac-10 middling, it's because the Pac-10 sucks. WTF? Memo to SEC fans—the Pac-10 middlings have kicked your SEC butts for the last decade. Get over yourselves.

Ole Miss got spanked by South Carolina, but let's take a bet and see if Ole Miss is still ahead of say, USC, on Sunday.

The reason for this bias is simple. The SEC has marketed itself as a conference. The fields all have an SEC logo on the 50 yard-line, and all the teams have SEC logos on their unis. Brilliant. The SEC is a powerhouse, even IF their West champ got throttled by Utah.

Yin and Yang is alive and well in college football. It's what keeps us fans arguing, talking smack, and bitching about a playoffs system that will never happen as long as we, the fans, pay to see a BCS Bowl game. As long as the Benjamins are in play.

If we lived in China, there would be a playoffs system. Food for thought, no?

The yin is, "This is the best we have right now."

The yang is, "We can do better."

The yin is, "The Big Ten sucks."

The yang is, "Michigan beat Florida in the Capital One Bowl."

The yin is, "The system the sucks."

The yang is, "When your team is in the title game, the system is perfect."

I'm over the yin and the yang.

Holtz can kiss my spoiled child's ass. Musberger's being the subject of the greatest drinking game since the Bob Newhart drinking game will be his biggest mark on college football. The SEC is no better than any other conference. The BCS is an experiment in failure and, "Go Cocks Go," is the greatest cheer in college football.

Carry on.

Symbiotic Relationship: Twitter and The Sportswriter

Lisa Horne — Wed, 23 Sep 2009 19:58:58 -0400

Choose to ignore Twitter, but it's not going away.

It's here, despite the NFL's insistence on barring players from tweeting from the game or some schools barring reporters from tweeting. Twitter is the rage everyone hoped would go away, but if anything, is getting stronger.

Some coaches love to tweet. Steve Sarkisian, head coach at Washington, actually tweeted from the USC game- granted, we are sure an assistant did it for him, but still, it was highly effective in capturing the sheer joy, in real time, of his victory over the Trojans.

Most coaches are now tweeting because, well, Pete Carroll started it and they'd be a fool not to use this thinly veiled recruiting tool. You just have to keep up with the Joneses, don't you? In fact, most high profile coaches now tweet- Les Miles, Nick Saban, Pete Carroll, Mack Brown and Charlie Weis are some of the more popular tweeters.

But what about sportswriters? Some are begrudgingly holding back from using this newest social media tool- it's called the Neuheisel Syndrome. As of a few weeks ago, Neuheisel stated he was waiting to make his grand entrance of sort- we're still waiting Rick. Meanwhile your pal across town has around 44,000 people following his tweets.

As far as the sportswriter goes, it's an easy decision.

If you write, you must tweet.

For those who eschew this newest invention for microblogging, consider this: the world found about about Shaq's trade to the Cleveland Cavaliers before Shaquille O'Neal himself did, via Twitter.

The trials and tribulations over Terrell Owens' search for a house in Buffalo was told, via Twitter.

Twitter is instantaneous information for anyone who wants to know anything about anything- President Obama found that out when he called Kanye West a "jackass" and it was tweeted by ABC (later deleted.)

OK, so you're still not convinced that Twitter will be a major reporting source for news? Consider this: the SEC actually updated their media policy rules to include Twitter as a device that is considered a no-no, depending on how you understand their rules. The debate rages on.

What exactly is Twitter?

In a simple explanation, it is a website that texts messages to anyone who "follows" you. If you have unlimited text messaging with your cell phone provider, you can use your cell phone to receive these texts, called "tweets." If you don't have unlimited text messaging, your computer is probably the best bet to check your tweets.

The tweets consist of 140 characters or less. Tweets are short, sweet and concise. One of the great things about Twitter is that it trains you to be nice and tight in your messages, something all sportswriters are reminded to apply to their stories on a daily basis.

So how do you start using Twitter?

Go to Twitter.com, and sign up for a free account. Most writers use their own names since people will be searching for that writer by name. Once you establish a Twitter page, start following your favorite writers. In the search box, type in a name, and it will give you the link to that writer's Twitter page. Click on the "follow" button below their picture, and voila, anything that writer tweets will show up on your page.

So now you are asking, "How does this help me?"

Many writers have auto-bots that automatically follow you back. If this is the case, then that writer will now follow you. But the biggest advantage of following someone is now you can check to see who he follows- if an editor of a major on-line website is his follower, follow him as well. Slowly, but surely, you will build a following.

Of course, this isn't all about following people, it's about self-promoting yourself. Since you are limited to 140 characters or less, pasting a long url into a tweet is ill-advisable. Instead, go to tinyurl.com, copy your long url into the box, and it converts that url into a 25 character or less url.

Think of the possibilities here: unknown or struggling-to-get-publicity writers can promote their blogs or articles on Twitter! And their followers can click on the tinyurl to read the blog or article. More reads!

Some more advantages to using twitter are "retweeting" other comments or links. For example, say you read a really great article on FOXSports.com or ESPN.com and it was tweeted on Twitter. Copy and paste the tweet, as seen below:

YahooSports Braves' Cox to retire after next season (AP) http://ow.ly/15QFm7

to this, as seen below:

LisaHorne RT @YahooSports Braves' Cox to retire after next season (AP) http://ow.ly/15QFm7

The "RT" stands for retweet, so everyone knows YahooSports tweeted that, not Lisa Horne. Notice the tinyurl in there as well? It's a perfect tweet. You can also add your own comments (before) the "RT", so Yahoo Sports and all your followers know what you said about the Yahoo Sports tweet. Just make sure you put your comment first, then "RT," so it is obvious what distinguishes your tweet from the tweet you are retweeting ( plagiarism applies on Twitter as well.)

So what are you waiting for? Go get yourself a Twitter account and start promoting yourself! My Twitter account name is LisaHorne, so if you follow me, I'll follow you back!

Market yourselves. Promote yourselves.

Tweet to your heart's content!

Maybe Rick Neuheisel will follow your lead.

Once In a Blue Moon: Things That Probably Won't Happen This Saturday

Lisa Horne — Thu, 17 Sep 2009 17:33:04 -0400

"Once in a blue moon." That basically means "rarely." Or, in college football, "probably never."

So this Saturday, as we begin week three of college football, there are some things that we may see or hear we aren't expecting- things that happen once in a blue moon.

I'm not counting on these things to happen, but then again, Mine That Bird, Appalachian State, Caster Semenya, Juan Martin Del Potro, Kanye West and yes, even that Virginia Cavalier mascot (google it on Youtube.com) give me hope that some things don't need a blue moon for them to happen.

Maybe these will happen? Nah.

Lane Kiffin (Tennessee head coach)

Beats the tar out of the Gators, then humbly holds presser saying, "I feel horrible for Urban Meyer. He is truly the role model for every college coach."

Jim Tressel (Ohio State head coach)

On a 1st and 10 on his own 5 yard-line, calls for a flea-flicker. On 2nd and 10, calls for a Statue of Liberty play, on 3rd and 10, calls a hook and ladder pass. On 4th and 10, he goes for it, and Toledo scores a safety. All while wearing a ripped, Bellichick-style hoodie, giving the crowd the bird and yelling, "I told you so."

Tate Forcier and Matt Barkley (Michigan and USC's freshman quarterbacks)

Both hire match-makers to get them more noticed by the fairer sex and both watch Stuart Small videos to self-motivate.

Frank Cozenza, Ohio State sousaphone player

"Dotting the ESPN cameraman was an accident. The network has always been very kind towards Ohio State."

www.youtube.com/watch?v=EevMBTQpV4U

Charlie Weis (Notre Dame head coach)

"I called all the wrong plays, and can't blame the refs, time-keeper or our defense. I am doubting my schematic advantages."

Dan Hawkins (Colorado head coach)

"Let's give our second string quarterback a shot."

Lou Holtz (ESPN college football analyst)

"Notre Dame will lose to the University of Southern California."

Suzy Kolber (ESPN's NFL sideline reporter)

Updated Facebook profile: "shy, unassuming, wallflower and happy to take "no" for an answer" (Way to go Suzy, loved your persistence.)

Rich Rodriguez (Michigan head coach)

"I forgive all you doubters."

Terrelle Pryor (Ohio State quarterback)

"Thinking about putting 'OJ Simpson' on my eye-black this Saturday against Toledo."

Bobby Bowden (Florida State head coach)

"I'm telling y'all right now, Dadgummit, all Florida schools are tough. Look at Jacksonville State. They gave us a real beatdown but we overcame another great team from Florida."

Al Groh (Virginia head coach)

"I love my job."

Taylor Mays (USC safety)

"If I can't clear medical and play this week at Washington, I'm going to stay home, take a napkin-folding class and play Jacks with my cousin."

Jonathan Crompton (Tennessee quarterback)

"The Gators' D is soft. They don't scare me."

LeGerrette Blount (Oregon suspended running back)

"I have no regrets in my life. None whatsoever.."

Tim Tebow (Florida quarterback)

"Can't talk to you all. Gotta go. Got a hot date tonight."

Rick Neuheisel (UCLA head coach)

At team meeting, asks his team if anyone can throw the ball twenty yards (for motivational purposes) and then asks quarterback Kevin Prince to speak to team (broken jaw- mouth wired shut) about the disadvantages of wearing a mouthpiece during a game.

Mark Richt (Georgia head coach)

"I'd like to congratulate our team on amassing zero penalty yards this game."

Joe Paterno (Penn State head coach)

"Temple, Akron, Eastern Illinois and Syracuse are all cupcakes, and we scheduled them because we wanted a soft schedule."

Mark Dantonio (Michigan State head coach)

"We lost because we didn't want to give Notre Dame any game film."

USAToday's voting coaches

"Oklahoma State lost to Houston? Oops!"

David Cutliffe (Duke head coach)

"We're right where we thought we should be."

Paul Wulff (Washington State head coach)

"We're not bothered that SMU is favored by one point at our turf- The Palouse will be rocking."

Doug Marrone (Syracuse head coach)

"Thank goodness we're not in an easy conference like the Mountain West."

Bronco Mendenhall (BYU head coach)

"Las Vegas Bowl or bust!"

Pete Carroll (USC head coach)

"Hmmm, should I punt?"

Stay Classy, Ohio State

Lisa Horne — Tue, 08 Sep 2009 22:31:53 -0400

"Not everybody’s the perfect person in the world. I mean everyone kills people, murders people, steals from you, steals from me, whatever."

You would think whoever said this has a warped view of life and is pretty uneducated, wouldn't you? Maybe it's just a line from a gangsta rap song?

Hold on to your Buck nuts, football fan: Terrelle Pryor said this in response to why he liked Michael Vick.

Are you kidding me?

I would expect that response from Vick—before he was busted for torturing dogs, of course—but not from the Ohio State Buckeyes' sophomore quarterback.

Classy stuff there, Terrelle.

You pay a tribute to him with your eyeblack in the game against Navy. And after the game, when asked about why you like Vick, you come up with this nutty, inane, and utterly classless remark.

You admire a dog torturer. A dog killer.

Indeed, we all deserve a second chance. So why not go with Charles Manson as an idol? Ted Bundy? Eric Harris and Dylan Klebold? Were they not available for your eyeblack? They must be okay dudes in your book, because after all, everyone kills.

I checked my agenda books from the last decade, and so far I haven't lived up to Pryor's proclamation. Nope, haven't killed anyone. Haven't murdered anyone. And believe it or not, haven't stolen from anyone either. Someone ripped off my favorite pen, would that count? I'll go yell at my kids.

I'm getting warm fuzzies just knowing that the future of America is in the hands of students like these who are allegedly receiving a higher education. It's good to know that people like Terrelle Pryor choose their role models because of what "everybody does." They choose a role model like Vick because he deserves a second chance, even though he's shown in the past he has no compassion for living things.

Here's a thought, Terrelle: How about putting Vick on your "naughty" list, and if he doesn't screw up in the next 10 years, then put his poster above your dorm bed. Until then, Vick deserves no role model status.

Tila Tequila might be more your style.

More importantly, someone needs to keep a microphone away from your mouth. This is embarrassing for Ohio State.

Adding insult to this disaster of a public relations crisis was their coach, Jim Tressel. Yes, the Senator.

Any elite coach in Division I football knows that the University of Southern California does not like being called "Southern Cal." It's in their press guides. It's in Wikipedia. It's a well-known fact.

Except in the Midwest.

Tressel referred to USC no fewer than three different times as "Southern Cal" in a recent press conference. We get that it's USC vs. Ohio State week. We get there is some trash-talking going on. What we don't get is your continued disrespect of the school that has made it clear what its name is.

Perhaps Pete Carroll should start calling Ohio State, "O State"? Or just "Ohio"?

How would that go over in O-H-I-O?

Final thought: USC 37, OSU 17.

Fire up that hot seat in Columbus.

Thanks to the TheworldofIsaac.com for video of this quote: tinyurl.com/ksrjre

The Loyal Treatment: Why We Need More Lou Holtzes in College Football

Lisa Horne — Thu, 27 Aug 2009 15:39:41 -0400

Lou Holtz has done it again with another shocking prediction.

Everything in college football will be back to normal when, according to Holtz, the Fighting Irish will go 11-1 and play for the National Championship against Florida in the Rose Bowl. Didn’t he also say the Irish would go 11-1 in 2008?

For all of Holtz’s false prophecies on predicting the record of Notre Dame’s football team, one thing remains constant—he never changes his stance.

You have to respect that.

Oh, to go through life with rose-colored lenses on, nothing but blue skies above you and that proverbial glass not only half-full, but overflowing with some good Kool-Aid, baby. Mark May can kiss his ass.

Eventually he’ll be right—it may just take 10 years. Someday, some year, the day of atonement for the Irish haters will come to fruition. “I’ll told you so” will be ringing in their ears. Prepare thyselves, pigskin nation.

Why, we are just actors on a world stage, waiting for Lou to give us the Full Monty in the final show. The scenery is there, the script is there, the props are in place, but the director keeps changing up the plot with teams like North Carolina and Syracuse stealing the show, while Holtz, of course, remains ever hopeful that the original screenplay will eventually be used.

Let’s be honest here, Holtz has kept Notre Dame relevant in college football conversations for years when the Irish had no business being mentioned. Yet we talk about them.

Oklahoma has Toby Keith, Texas has Matthew McConaughey, USC has Will Ferrell and the Fonz, and the Florida Gators inherited Snoop Dogg from the Trojans’ sidelines. But none of the celebs has endorsed their school like Lou has. None has stood by during the down years.

I want Lou Holtz on my team. Nebraska and Miami were huge football programs but recently have been out of the cycle. No pundits are really talking about them, which is exactly my point. Who is backing them up? Who backed out? Where is their Lou?

Are we not just cardboard cutouts of football fans? All talk but no backbone? Compared to Holtz, we don’t have the passion, the fire, the undying devotion that he has. Holtz’s mission—to come off as a complete, unabashed homer—is accomplished. Critics be damned.

We, the collective football fan union, are unworthy. We need Lou Holtz, and his purpose is obvious—to be a punching bag when our team loses. While our team may not be expected to win, his team is always expected to win, so kick him when’s he’s down to make ourselves feel better. Mr. Transference is alive and well in football nation, and his best friend is Mrs. Schadenfreude.

There simply has to be a villain for the college football fan.

While the BCS remains as heartless and faceless as a terrorist, Holtz provides a humane outlet to the frustrated fan whose team has tanked another season. Whose team got left out of the BCS. Whose team doesn’t get any special favors. Petty we stand, vicious we fall.

Lou is real. Lou has faults—he’s made some serious gaffes on television. Lou isn’t perfect, but Lou never, ever speaks badly about his team. He never says, “We suck.” He would never go to his room and tear down a poster of his favorite football player after he fumbled away the game-winning touchdown.

Lou reminds us of what we all should be but don’t have the patience to become—A Few Good Men’s Colonel Jessep.

Holtz is to football what Jessep was to military skeptics.

"My existence, while grotesque and incomprehensible to you, saves lives. You don’t want the truth because deep down in places you don’t talk about at parties, you want me on that wall. You need me on that wall."

We do need him on that mythical wall. To remind us that passion and undying loyalty should always be part of a football fan’s life. That there’s always next week. Next year. Next decade. That patience has its just rewards, and ignorance is bliss.

That “I told you so” are the sweetest four words in the English language.

The Rose Bowl Clause Won't Just Be In Pasadena Anymore

Lisa Horne — Fri, 07 Aug 2009 23:16:39 -0400

One of the more controversial topics in college football—the clause that puts a non-BCS conference team in the Rose Bowl if one of the bowl's league champions goes to the National Championship Game—just got more controversial.

At Pac-10 Media Day, I had the chance to talk to David Davis, former President of the Tournament of Roses ('04-'05), who clarified that "clause."

First of all, that clause has been around "for awhile," and that it was only recently publicized. Moreover, every BCS Bowl "will eventually" have the same clause as the one currently used for the Rose Bowl.

It makes sense, if you think about it. Kevin Ash, Chief Administrative Officer for the Rose Bowl Game explained the clause this way:

Starting in the 2011 game, the Rose Bowl will receive a non-BCS team if the following criteria is met—First, the Rose Bowl would have to lose one of its anchor conference teams to the NCG, and a non-BCS team would have to be BCS eligible—if this occurs, then the highest ranked BCS team would play in our game, in the first year that this happens. Once the Rose Bowl has hosted a non-BCS team, we have fulfilled our commitment for the four year BCS cycle.

The other three BCS bowls do not have this clause in their agreement, because they do not have two anchor conferences—Due to the fact that each has one open team slot, in addition to the rotation team selection process, the other three teams have all hosted a non-BCS team in their game.

The clause can currently only be put into effect every four years in the Rose Bowl, which allows each future BCS Bowl to take its turn in possibly hosting a non-BCS Conference team such as Utah or Central Michigan. Read that again.

So in a few years, we may see another Utah vs. Alabama in the Sugar Bowl, but this time it will be mandated, not an arbitrary decision. Fans of other conferences should be pretty thrilled since the BCS is steadfast in denying non-BCS conference teams equal access to the BCS Bowls.

Still, some questions linger about what the procedure for selecting a non-BCS conference team is when certain scenarios come up.

What happens if both the Pac-10 and Big Ten champs go to the National Championship game?

Kevin Ash says, "It is our (Pasadena Tournament of Roses Administration) choice—there are no rules written on who we select." What does that mean? The Tournament can either replace both champions with two more league teams, replace only one league team, or, choose to go to two other conferences completely.

If there is more than one non-BCS conference team eligible the Rose Bowl, who gets picked?

"The highest ranked team gets an automatic selection to our game," according to Ash.

While Rose Bowl traditionalists may not like the selection procedures, they may be comforted in knowing that eventually, all BCS Bowls will have this clause—the only difference is that the other BCS Bowls won't lose their conference champ while the Rose Bowl will lose one.

And the "little guys' won't have an inferiority complex anymore.

Why USC Will Beat Ohio State: Lisa Horne Vs. Kevin Paul

Lisa Horne — Mon, 01 Jun 2009 11:56:19 -0400

Kevin Paul (aka KP's Blog), a contributing writer for FOXSports.com, and I have started a series called "You're Right, I'm Wrong." And no, that's not a typo.

Similar to Rev's and Bluegrass Lady's "He Said, She Said," Kevin and I will debate some hot topics. We'll try to do it once a week and look forward to any topics that you think might be worthy of discussion.

First up, the BIG game in September: USC @ Ohio State—and Lisa Horne takes USC, big surprise, over Ohio State...

I'll be the first to say it—the state of Ohio is in another down year, and I don't see any forthcoming changes in the near future in Columbus. Sure, the Buckeyes are 46-1 at home vs. non-conference teams, but their biggest game, against Texas in '05, was a loss.

The factors which will change the game:

Offense

The Trojans return everyone but Mark Sanchez (WR Vidal Hazelton transferred) on their offense. While Aaron Corp is a bit untested, there is no reason to believe he won't pick up where Sanchez left off.

He had an almost perfect spring, is tall and fleet-footed, has incredible accuracy, and has one of the best receivers in the country to throw to—Damian Williams. Look for naked bootlegs to throw the Buckeyes off balance for the first half of the game, then short "unders," swing passes to the checkoff receiver (FB Stanley Havili or RB Joe McKnight), and power running.

USC has arguably the best O-line in the country (preseason), and I see no reason why the Trojans won't put up 500 yards of total offense.

The Buckeyes lost some big contributors (they return only five starters)—RBs Beanie and Maurice Wells, as well as WRs Brian Hartline and Brian Robiskie. They also lost three starters on the O-line.

There's also this—QB Todd Boeckman. He may have driven some Buckeyes fans nuts, but he saved the Buckeyes from a rout in the Fiesta Bowl.

Terrelle Pryor is young and deeply talented, but he also makes youthful mistakes and can be wildly inconsistent.

While the Buckeyes should still have good rushing production from some talented backs this season, their O-line wasn't up to snuff last year, and with three losses on the line this season, I see trouble looming ahead if they don't find some more agile tackles.

Edge: USC

Defense

The Trojans lost eight defensive starters with all of them most likely playing on Sundays. You would think that USC would be in serious trouble. They very well may be. However, in spring practice, the defense looked hungry.

DC Rocky Seto says the linebacker unit is faster than last year's. USC lost Rey Maualuga, Brian Cushing, Clay Matthews, and Kaluka Maiava to the NFL, but have another load coming up: Chris Galippo, Michael Morgan, and Malcolm Smith and an incredibly improving Luther Brown and Nick Garratt. They are less experienced but just as talented.

The secondary should hold on to the top-ranked pass defense unit title. They lost two greats but return six of eight and are very deep. Taylor Mays is built like a LB and hits like a truck, but he's a free safety.

The D-line is very inexperienced but loaded with talent. This unit is the biggest question mark. True frosh DE Nick Perry had an incredible spring and may be camping out in the Buckeyes' backfield if they don't contain his pass rush.

The Buckeyes gave up 110 yards (per game average) against the rush, but there is a disturbing stat—in their four biggest games, they allowed at least 150 yards of rushing. Against Youngstown State, Purdue, Troy, and Ohio, their stats were well below that 150-yard mark, which makes sense.

But against the power-running big boys (USC, Wisconsin, Penn State, and Illinois), they gave up huge chunks of turf over 150 yards.

What does this mean? Their stats are inflated, and with only losing their NT Nader Abdallah, I expect the production to be much the same.

They'll stop the little teams but will have no answer against a superior Trojan O-line and their stable of horses in the backfield.

The secondary looks pretty solid, but they did lose Malcolm Jenkins, a player that OCs scheme against. They also lost stud LBs Marcus Freeman and James Laurinaitis, the heart of their D.

But again, there are some interesting tidbits about LY's D—as decent as last year's D was, their sack production decreased by 15 sacks, and they gave up almost 60 yards more than the previous year against both the pass and rush. If last year's D was pretty good and they lost three huge stars, their D this year should be a bit underwhelming.

Overall, I give the Buckeyes points for the D-line. They will be facing the top O-line in the country, but their D-line is more experienced than the Trojans'. Linebacker units are even simply because both teams lost huge talent, and the secondary unit of USC gets a huge edge over the Buckeyes.

Slight Edge: USC

Special Teams

USC lost one of its best players in kicker David Buehler. How good was he? He was drafted in the NFL's fifth round due to his NCAA No. 1 (48 of 88) ranking for touchbacks. The Trojans also lost punter Greg Woidneck.

Right now, there is no clear winner for kicking duties, but Pete Carroll did hire a special teams coordinator (first one since 2001) to get this unit in shape. The kick return units for USC have always been a glaring deficiency, and this year will probably see some runbacks.

The Buckeyes lost some huge talent as well—K Ryan Pretorius and P A.J. Trapasso. The Buckeyes usually do very well replacing their kickers, so I see no reason why there will be any drop-off this season. Their kick return unit was down last year (19.2), so like USC, the kicking game could give Buckeyes fans fits.

Edge: Ohio State

Coaching

At first glance, one would give the Buckeyes the edge in coaching. After all, USC has a new DC (Rocky Seto), a new OC (John Morton), and some other new faces as well. The Buckeyes have all the important coaches back, including assistant of the year Jim Heacock.

So the Buckeyes have the edge, right?

Wrong. Pete Carroll is a defensive-minded genius. The D is his niche, and this year, he has to jell an inexperienced unit. Does anyone really want to bet against him in big games?

The D looks extremely nasty and fast, and if he can unleash Perry on Terrelle Pryor without him over-pursuing, Pryor will make some ill-advised throws. The USC secondary will seize on that.

The biggest issue for the Buckeyes is Jim Tressel's tendency to play conservatively. He does have a huge threat in Pryor, but will he open the playbook and let Pryor loose? He did it against USC in the first half last year, and while Pryor did start off well, the Trojans' D made adjustments and shut him down in the second half. Tressel then resorted to more conservative play.

The biggest question mark is which coach will make the appropriate adjustments first. I'll put my money on Carroll. There may be some huge chunks of yardage against USC's D-line in the first half, but Carroll will adjust. I don't see Tressel adjusting as quickly.

The second factor is big-game play mentality. The Buckeyes have lost three straight BCS Bowls, while the Trojans have lost one in the last five. The Buckeyes have an all-time bowl record of 18-22, while the Trojans' record is 31-16. Make no mistake, this is a bowl game.

Edge: USC

Intangibles

Is this really a big game? Probably more so for the Buckeyes than the Trojans. Why? Simple. For what seems like forever, Michigan and Ohio State fans have argued that the reason why USC has had such a great run in the Rose Bowl against Big Ten teams is because the Trojans have home-field advantage.

(I guess that brilliant game Texas won—at the Rose Bowl—for the BCS National Championship against USC has been conveniently forgotten.)

This is their chance to prove their point about home field advantage.

Is playing at the Shoe a big deal? Not really. The Rose Bowl holds over 100,000 people, so it's not like USC can't handle big crowds. In fact, USC has done very well on the road against non-conference teams in hostile venues.

Big wins @ Auburn, @ Arkansas, @ Virginia Tech (at Fed Ex Field), and @ Virginia early in the season have proven that Pete Carroll knows how to prep his teams for early road travel.

The philosophy is simple—score quick and early and take the home team crowd out of the game. But more than that, traveling from the West to the East is easier on the body than vice versa. Jet lag won't be a major factor. Weather isn't an issue either—Los Angeles in September is just as hot as Columbus.

What about the psychological factors? Ohio State doesn't fare well in big games—at least not lately—while the Trojans have a tendency to underachieve in little games but rarely fold in big games.

Tressel's record against BCS teams is 12-7, while Carroll's is 23-4. There is a bit of quiet desperation going on in Columbus. The SEC has owned the Buckeyes lately, and with a cupcake schedule this year, the Buckeyes won't be taken very seriously in the rankings if they lose to the Trojans. They have to win this game.

Tressel has been criticized for running a vanilla-style offense—with a big threat like Terrelle Pryor, Tressel has to open up the playbook. The Trojans' D did look susceptible to bootlegs and play-actions in spring practice—Corp ran off some big yards against the D.

Will Tressel test the Trojans early to see if they either contain or over-pursue?

I'll be the first to say it—if Tressel doesn't get more creative in play-calling and utilize Pryor's skills more, the scarlet and gray faithful will start to rumble. Loud. This game could be the biggest game of Jim Tressel's career. A blowout by the Trojans might be the beginning of the end. Yes, he won a BCS Championship, but any Miami fan will tell you he really didn't.

Don't bet against a cornered dog—they are usually the most ferocious when cornered.

Edge: Ohio State

Final Analysis

Sure it's three months away, but right now, barring any injuries, the USC Trojans should beat the Buckeyes at the Shoe. There are some question marks on both teams, but overall, the Trojans have more talent and a head coach that prepares his teams better.

Pryor could be frustrated by the passing D and will probably have more success running the ball initially. The big albatross for the Buckeyes will be not adjusting fast enough. Their main focus should be not allowing USC's prolific offense to score early and take out the home crowd.

Finally, there is this: The Buckeyes believe "the punt is the most important play in football." It may be the most important play in football if you have to punt a lot, but third down conversions are the most important play in college football. Period.

Last year, USC ranked 25th in third down conversions, while Ohio State ranked 34th. The two teams that went to the National Championship Game were ranked in the top 10 for third down conversions. Not punting.

USC was ranked No. 96 in punting, while Ohio State was ranked No. 40. Ohio State averaged 4.5 punts a game, while USC averaged around 3.5.

The Trojans averaged less than one punt per quarter and did it against 11 BCS teams. Ohio State averaged more than one punt per quarter against nine BCS teams, one FCS team, and a non-BCS conference team (Troy).

Prediction: USC 37, Ohio State 17

For Kevin's take on You're Right, I'm Wrong, click on Kevin Paul's blog.

Goodbye, Farewell, I Bid Adieu to You...

Lisa Horne — Mon, 02 Feb 2009 22:53:23 -0500

Sometimes, you just have to take stock of your situation and do something you know is for the best, but it still leaves you with a hollow heart. You have to do something that is in your best interests, but you will miss it all the same.

You have to leave some really good friends, those who have touched your heart with their open arms and tremendous support.

You all will be missed by me. I could go on and on and name all of you all, but I'll probably screw it up and miss somebody's name, and all hell will break loose if I did. So I will pass on the names, but you all know who you are.

Bleacher Report has been a rare experience for me—never have I had so much fun writing here. I met some great people, got some great advice, and more than anything else, inspired a few writers who have a dream they are chasing.

To them I say this: don't ever give up. You can do it, and Bleacher Report is the perfect place for you to get that recognition. Take advantage of all the resources they have, and keep self-promoting. Don't be remiss in posting your accomplishments on your bulletin board—major websites check it out if they like your articles.

If you ever need a friend to vent on, or need some advice—and remember, advice is worth what you paid for it (and in this case it's free)—please don't be a stranger. My email addy is on my bulletin board.

Thanks for being a surrogate family. Thanks Zander, for everything. If you ever need someone to go to Media Day or what have you, you can know how to get a hold of me—I'm there.

May the Editor Gods shine their light on all of you. May all your dreams come true. May you be the next Bill Simmons, the next Rick Reilly, the next Bill Plaschke, but remember to be yourself.

—Lise

PS: I'll still check up on you guys. :)

The NBA Should Throw the Book at Andrew Bynum

Lisa Horne — Wed, 28 Jan 2009 18:32:23 -0500

For those of you who missed last night's Lakers-Bobcats game, you missed a few things. For one, you missed a team owning the Los Angeles Lakers, so far this season. You also missed Kobe Bryant fouling out, a huge rarity.

But the biggest miss was also the most disgusting—Lakers center Andrew Bynum's dirty play on Bobcats small forward Gerald Wallace.

This wasn't just a cheap shot—it was dirty. A flagrant 2 dirty shot, but the refs didn't call it that way. If you can't beat them, beat them?

See Wallace gasping for breath, in pain, and no one really helping him in the video. It's enough to make you sick.

Bynum has really been playing some good ball lately, but you have to wonder if his immaturity is rearing its ugly head. Bynum never went to college, never played in any high-pressure collegiate tournaments, and was drafted by the Lakers at age 17, so maybe he can't handle it. Maybe, he's acting out like any teenager would. Except he's 21 years old. He's supposedly a man. And legally responsible for his actions.

The legal definition of battery is: "The act must result in one of two forms of contact. Causing any physical harm or injury to the victim—such as a cut, a burn, or a bullet wound—could constitute battery, but actual injury is not required. Even though there is no apparent bruise following harmful contact, the defendant can still be guilty of battery; occurrence of a physical illness subsequent to the contact may also be actionable."

Guilty?

You be the judge. Just because men are involved in a game of contact does not excuse them from avoiding charges of battery. There is no doubt—Bynum did not play the ball, threw his forearm across Wallace's chest and his elbow caused a partially collapsed lung and a non-displaced fracture of a rib. This is serious stuff here. Wallace is still in the hospital.

Just what will the NBA decide to do? One game suspension? Ten-game suspension? Does it matter? One player is gearing up for a road trip while another is lying in the hospital after having a tube inserted into his chest to help re-inflate a lung.

Bynum committed battery on Wallace, and should be charged with the crime. The NBA may not word it that way, but what happened on that court could have killed Wallace if his rib had been displaced and pierced his heart. This isn't funny, it's not entertaining, and it's a sad state of affairs when a professional player can't control his emotions during a game. Enough of the "he's young" excuses—he acted like a punk.

A one-month suspension should be the minimum the NBA doles out to Bynum, as that is probably how long Wallace will be recuperating from this injury. Finally, there is this question that needs to be asked:

If Kobe Bryant had been on the receiving end of this type of flagrant foul, wouldn't there be more uproar? And a huge suspension handed out to the player who took out the NBA's MVP?

Top 10 Reasons To Root for the Arizona Cardinals

Lisa Horne — Tue, 27 Jan 2009 14:25:34 -0500

10. They beat the Iggles, which means the camera crews can actually pan the stands and show shots of fans without hitting the "delay" button or getting hammered by the FCC for airing obscene behavior.

9. Any team that has that bird on the helmet deserves some love from football fans.

8. The thought of six Super Bowl rings will make Steelers' fans impossible to live with.

7. The Cardinals have cheerleaders and the Steelers do not.

6. A guy who admits he bagged groceries and stocked shelves at a Hy-Vee is a lot tougher than a dude who crashed his motorcycle.

5. The second-string quarterback gig for Leinart isn't working out too well—a Super Bowl ring will ensure numerous hot tub parties with the local talent in the near future.

4. Any state that proclaims their weather is great because "it's a dry heat" deserves to finally get over its inferiority complex.

3. Pennsylvania has enough bragging rights with their cheese steaks, chocolate bars, Italian subs, deep-fried hotdogs and the Liberty Bell. What does Arizona have? Cactus, tumbleweed, a huge foreclosure rate, a large retirement populous and a big hole in the ground.

2. Anquan Boldin thinks he is equal to Larry Fitzgerald and should be compensated more—don't we all root for the T.O.'s in this game? Jerry McGuire would be thrilled.

...and the No. 1 reason to root for the Cardinals...

1. If Arizona wins, it will prove underrated teams can win via playoffs and maybe the BCS will come out of their money-induced coma and start the wheels turning for an NCAA playoffs in FBS. We can dream, can't we?

Dog Days: Washington Huskies Busted

Lisa Horne — Thu, 22 Jan 2009 17:29:01 -0500

Welcome to Seattle, Stevo.

It's only been a month, and already Steve Sarkisian's staff has committed an NCAA infraction. Now before you start pointing your fingers and spewing cheater chants, keep an open mind; this infraction is one that should be categorized as absurd.

Apparently, a recruit experienced "real game simulations" while there on campus, and that's a no-no, according to the NCAA.

Desmond Trufant, who orally committed to Washington, described to Dawg.com a simulated game-day entrance from his visit last weekend and that's a secondary (minor) violation. The school will self-report itself to the Pac-10.

Here's a question that needs to be addressed to the NCAA: Why the heck can't a team describe/show to a recruit what the entrance to Husky Stadium is like?

Why can't they have some loud speakers with crowd noise to give him an idea about what it's like to enter that stadium?

What is the big deal? And why is it a recruiting violation?

The rules are ridiculous, and hard to remember as it is, they make you wonder why more schools aren't getting in trouble.

And that's the problem—if Trufant hadn't described his experience on-line, no one would have ever known. How many other schools have done this and not gotten caught?

Is there really a difference between showing a recruit a film of what it's like when the players come galloping unto the field and being on the field and hearing piped-in crowd noise?

Is there?

According to the Seattle Times, the school was hosting some recruits and "the school set up a mock 'game-day entrance' for recruits, simulating running out of the tunnel at Husky Stadium that included smoke and noise."

OMG. Call the police.

Let's suppose a linebacker recruit like Manti Te'o visits South Bend, Indiana, in the harsh winter. Te'o is from Hawai'i, so -10 degrees could be a shock for him.

Would it be an NCAA violation to have him go into a room that shows the magnificent foliage of autumn on all four walls with Touchdown Jesus on one wall?

Isn't that what the players see when they come out of the tunnel and on to the field? Is it illegal if they have the Irish Fight Song blaring with crowd noise in the room as well?

This rule is one of many recruiting rules that is vague, and asking for misinterpretation. Most people of reasonable intelligence would assume the rule is trying to forbid recruits from participating in drills with their possible idols, or participating in some sort of team function that only actual team members can participate in.

Apparently, smoke machines are also in that rule.

So for Pete's sake, throw the Huskies under the bus, right? Better yet, give them the same punishment as the NCAA gave the Sooners for self-reporting on their violations.

After all, the NCAA begs schools to self-report, and yet, when they dole out sanctions, they don't give the self-reporting schools a slight break in sanctions. If you want to know why some schools don't bother to self-report, it's because of what happened to the Sooners.

There's no reason to self-report if you get the same sanctions as one who doesn't self-report. Hey, why give the NCAA anything? They may not find anything! What incentive is there? Let the NCAA try to figure it out. So far, that tactic is working for the USC Trojans, isn't it?

I ask you, the sports fans, does the NCAA need to take a hard look at how asinine some of their rules are?

I ask you, the sports fans, to consider this: After Trufant described his game-day entrance simulation on Dawg.com, there was a discussion on Cougfan.com, the Huskies' rival's fan website (Washington State Cougars), on whether or not Trufant's experience was an NCAA violation.

How come some posters on a Cougars' fans message board know the rules about simulating game experience, but the University of Washington Huskies coaching staff doesn't?

*crickets chirping*

2009: The Year Of The Impossibles?

Lisa Horne — Wed, 21 Jan 2009 18:43:49 -0500

OK, Obama is POTUS, and the Cardinals are going to the Super Bowl. Let's all reflect on that a second. Sure, it seems weird to say Cardinals and Super Bowl in the same sentence- that bird on the side of the helmet is hard to overlook. It's impossible.

So what other impossibles are in store for us this year? Is this a trend? If so, how about some of these impossibles coming to fruition?

A BCS buster finally makes it to the title game, and wins.
The Lions win their division.
Notre Dame goes to a BCS Bowl.
Iowa State wins the Big 12.
Indiana wins the Big Ten.
The rumors about Weis' demise stop.
Washington State wins the Pac-10.
South Carolina wins the SEC.
The Thunder make it to the Finals.
The Sooners win a BCS Bowl.
Mark May declares "USC is an average team."
NBC cancels their contract with Notre Dame and goes with Boston College instead.
Junior Nation decides to fold up the tent.
Yankees fans are voted "most pleasant to sit with at a baseball game."
Pau and Kobe don't "verbally flop" for three consecutive games.
A.I. gets a laser tat removal over his entire body.
T.O. provides no personal opinion on anything related to the NFL next season.
The Cowboys are officially removed as "America's team."
Baseball players confess they have been juicing.
A player who gets caught with drugs in his car doesn't claim it's his cousin's, friend's, etc.
Lou Holtz doesn't refer to Notre Dame in the first person tense.
The following words will be removed from the English language: hater, overrated, best conference, BCS Championship game, recession, idiot, moron, hack, soccer mom and unbiased opinion.
Kirk Herbstreit suddenly turns ugly.
Dennis Rodman returns to the NBA.
The Cowboys sign Todd Marinovich.
The words, " I have to feed my family" never coming up again during contract negotiations.
NHL decides to air playoffs.
The Cubbies win the World Series.
Brett Favre finally puts an end to it all and retires permanently.
Barry Bonds lands a job.
Jerry Jones is discovered to really be Joan Rivers in disguise.
Trolls become extinct.
Al Davis signs Ryan Leaf as the Raiders' new quarterback.
NASCAR becomes popular in Canada, Alaska, Minnesota and Hawai'i.
The NCAA files charges and USC gets put on probation for five years.

Two Weeks to National Signing Day and Who's the King of Recruiting?

Lisa Horne — Tue, 20 Jan 2009 19:14:46 -0500

Two weeks. That's all the time left between a choosing the right school or the wrong school for a high school football player.

College football fans, with no live games to watch for the next seven months (except for perhaps a televised spring game), have hit recruiting sites like Scout.com to check on their team's rankings and see if the school has landed the right fish to fill in their needs. Some of them need life preservers.

The current Scout.com rankings are as follows:

1. Ohio State
2. North Carolina
3. LSU
4. Texas
5. Oklahoma
6. USC
7. Georgia
8. Texas A&M
9. Penn State
10. Alabama
11. Florida
12. Michigan
13. Stanford
14. Miami
15. South Carolina
16. West Virginia
17. Mississippi State
18. UCLA
19. Florida State
20. Notre Dame

Surprised? There are a few up there. North Carolina at No. 2 is downright shocking, but then again, we all know Butch Davis could recruit Rush Limbaugh to join Moveon.org. Stanford, right on Michigan's tail, has to give the folks in Ann Arbor some real concerns because, well, it's Stanford.

And what's the deal with Mississippi State ahead of Notre Dame? Puzzled? Need an Excedrin? It's not with you think. Hang on before you decide to cancel your season tickets to Clemson's (ranked No. 35) and Wisconsin's (No. 50) games.

First off, remember that it's quality, not quantity, that matters, and these rankings, more often than not, reflect a huge number of oral commits at one school. Let's put it this way—North Carolina has 29 commits with an average rating of 3.21, while Clemson has 12 commits with an average 3.58. It looks like Clemson is getting higher ranked players, while UNC is just getting more players.

Also, remember that a school has a maximum of 25 scholarships to be doled out in one year, with a cap of 85 scholarshipped players total in one year. With that in mind, some teams may have a large number of scholarshipped players returning and thus not a lot of scholarships available to hand out, while others may have lost a lot of seniors or NFL defectors and need to plug a lot of holes.

So what about a team like North Carolina, who has 29 commits? Either some will not be given offers via fax on signing day, or some will become walk-ons. Or look somewhere else. What many don't understand is that being promised a scholarship and actually getting a scholarship are two different things.

Schools like contingency plans, and if their five-star quarterback decides to sign at another school at the last minute, they need to make sure they have quality backups coming in. And therein lies the problem for many schools. Just ask Steve Spurrier.

Spurrier was recently banned from recruiting out of Tucker High School in Georgia after he reneged on a scholarship offer to LB Jonathan Davis.

“When he [Davis] committed to South Carolina, he turned down scholarship opportunities to other schools," said Tucker coach Franklin Stephens. "And then those other schools moved on to fill that spot. What South Carolina did was wrong, and the timing of it, so close to signing day [Feb. 4], is worse. It’s just a bad deal.”

Indeed it is for Davis. But what goes around comes around. Schools routinely get the surprises of their lives on SLOID (Signed Letter of Intent Day)—a scholarship offer that isn't accepted after the recruit has given them an oral and no one to fill in the gap.

Rumors still abound that Urban Meyer recruited Jevan Snead as his quarterback, but that Snead heard Meyer was going after Tebow and was concerned after giving Meyer his oral commitment. Meyer reportedly told Snead he was recruiting Tebow as a linebacker. Snead ended up signing with Texas, then transferring to Ole Miss.

So back to North Carolina—will they retain their No. 2 status? I don't think so—look for Saban to make a strong push at the end, and end up taking North Carolina down.

So which schools are looking really good for SLOID, and which ones are looking good on paper only?

Michigan

Not really sold on this class. The Wolverines signed two three-star running backs, which is a little surprising for a school known for power running. Yes, they are now running the spread, but you still need a good back to make the offense balanced. They did land a four-star QB in Tate Forcier, but the ratio of 8-11 on offensive-defensive recruits is probably not what RR had in mind—the offense needs help now.

The Wolverines also look a little thin in the secondary, losing two this year, and two now-sophomores and two freshman in charge of anchoring the secondary. They did gain two commits, and perhaps the four new safety prospects can play at that position. But, still, some JUCO's might really add some experience to this group.

Ohio State

Sold on this class. This is well balanced, and really addresses the needs of the team. Tressel went after two running backs, some great corners, and solid linebackers, including a five-star Will (weak-side linebacker) in Dorian Bell. Overall, there's a reason why the Buckeyes are ranked No. 1.

Here's what's interesting about the Buckeyes' eligibility roster: They have 15 wide receivers (losing 4 this year), six TEs (losing three this year), 9 DEs etc, and they still recruited more for these positions. In fact, the Buckeyes have 109 players on their roster with 24 recruits, as seen here. Tressel is projected to lose 26 seniors, plus a few early NFL defectors, but, still, add in 24 recruits, and Tress will have around 107 players on his team. So over 20 are walk-ons?

Oklahoma

Sold on this class, but I do have one concern. What's really tell-tale is how Stoops went after some big-time corners. The Sooners have been burned so many times on passes, this is an area that needs to be addressed, and he did that. Stoops also went after 10 linebackers, which will take care of the big gap after the 2009 season.

One area that is concerning is getting a three-star quarterback, instead of a four or five star. Their returning quarterback just won a Heisman, and a three-star is the best they can get? Sure, the ratings are sometimes off, but the Sooners should have been able to reel in a higher-rated quarterback.

USC

Sold on this class. Carroll landed the No. 1 player in the nation, QB Matt Barkley, as well as two other No. 1 (in their position) players, MLB Vontaze Burfict and C John Martinez. While the Trojans are still battling a few other schools (BYU, Notre Dame) for prize LB Manti Te'o, they don't have the big classes that some other teams ahead of them have.

USC has 18 commits/soft verbals, while the five other schools ahead of them have at least 20. But the Trojans do have the highest average star rating per player, at 3.94. USC needs to add to its offensive line, however. Having only one center (with a commit as a backup) and losing all three tackles next season is a scary situation to be in.

Florida

On the fence. Meyer went after the O-line, which, according to the depth charts, is an area that will be thin after 2010—they lose a projected eight linemen. The Gators will also be a bit thin in the linebacking corps, and they didn't really address that need, but still have some scholarships left to give out. In fact, 2010 could be a scary year for Gators fans—they will be losing at least 28 players, barring any unforeseen redshirts.

Interestingly, like Oklahoma, the Gators landed a three-star quarterback, Jordan Reed, who is ranked No. 42 amongst quarterbacks. His upside is he can run and pass the ball, but his downside is that the schools that were interested in him are not as impressive as you would expect—Maryland, Duke, Boston College?

LSU

Sold. Wow, LSU fans have to be very excited over this class. Miles landed the No. 3 back in the nation, Michael Ford, as well as two quarterbacks, one of whom is ranked second among all quarterbacks—Russell Shepard. This dual-threat quarterback had these schools on his interest list: USC, Florida, Michigan, Oklahoma, Texas A&M and Texas. Now that's what I'm talking about!

Notre Dame

On the fence. No. 20 is not what Weis had in mind, but then again, there could be a reason for it—a few two and three-stars will take you down a notch, but uncertainty will really drop you. Rumors are surfacing that Notre Dame may hire Jon "Chucky" Gruden after Feb. 4 (SLOID), ensuring there is no chance the players can change their minds.

Throw in a new OC and running backs coach (Tony Alford), and you could have some uneasiness on a team that has made some improvement, but not a lot considering the softness of last year's schedule. Weis did land three All-American WRs to the class, so it looks like Clausen/Crist will have a lot of deer to throw to.