Bleacher Report - Articles by Matt Binks

No More Ronaldo: So Who Are We Supposed to Hate Now?

Matt Binks — Sun, 12 Jul 2009 02:18:05 -0400

Cristiano Ronaldo has finally completed the most tedious transfer in football history and joined Real Madrid.

This leaves quite a gaping hole in the English league.

Yes, some will miss his goals, his tricks, and attacking play, but the Premiership still has plenty of players to provide these things. Torres, Fabregas, Rooney, and Robinho, to name just a few.

What I’m talking about is something far more important to the English fan…Who the hell are we supposed to hate most now?

Since his arrival, Ronaldo was a figure of fun for opposition fan. His stupid red bangs, his over exaggerated step overs, and the fact that at first, let's face it, he was fairly shit.

As he got better, the fun turned to hate. Getting his “friend” Wayne Rooney sent off in a World Cup didn’t help matters, but we also learnt to truly hate his whining, petulance, diving, and overall attitude.

Now he is gone, who will take his place? I would like to offer my own five personal choices.

1- Nani. Let's look at the reasons...He is Portugese, he is a winger, he is a bit whiny, and he likes to fall down a lot.

Nani is surely the natural replacement for Ronaldo…. There is one problem however. Even Manchester United fans would agree that Nani is, well he is a bit shit.

If he actually gets a game for United this season, he could be a top contender. However the most likely scenario is that Nani continues his current role as the most hated player in the Northern Reserve League.

2 – Phil Brown. The Hull City manager was fairly well liked at one point last season. Brave Brown and his Hull heroes were making waves in the Premiership, and upsetting the big boys, to the neutrals delight.

Then something happened...

Brown seemed to start believing his hype. He disappeared up his own backside and what came out was the perma-tanned, lying, arrogant, egotistical person we have now.

Whether it be for him claiming he is good enough to manage England, accusing Fabregas of spitting and acting like a hooligan for daring to celebrate a teammates' victory, or his awful Beach Boys rendition at the end of the season (you tube it if you haven’t seen it), Brown is a real contender.

3 – Didier Drogba. “Its a f***ing disgrace” apparantly. No Didier, what is a disgrace is the fact despite being a very powerfully built athlete, you can’t seem to stay on your feet under the most miniscule of challenges. Drogba’s little diving competition a few years ago with Jens Lehmann was one of the most shameful things I have ever seen. Despite occasionally breathtaking performances, Drogba is still a scumbag.

4 – Michael Owen. The hatred that could be aimed at Owen from Liverpool fans alone could make Owen a very hated man…. Joining the enemy is something that doesn’t really happen. This Liverpool/United game at Anfield this season has just been made that little bit more interesting… If he is fit of course.

5 – Ashley Cole. My own personal favourite. Ashley Cole doesn’t do himself any favours. For a start he goes and proves what a greedy bastard he is by making the following comments in his autobiography:

“When I heard Jonathan repeat the figure of £55k, I nearly swerved off the road. “He is taking the piss, Jonathan!” I yelled down the phone. I was so incensed. I was trembling with anger. I couldn’t believe what I’d heard”

Yes, that's right. Cole was furious when “only” being offered 55,000 pounds a week to kick a football about…He later described the offer as “tantamount to slavery”. Global Recession? What global recession?!

If this isn’t bad enough. Mr Cole also decided to go and cheat on his wife.

This is his wife…. http://www.iblogtoblog.com/wp-content/uploads/2008/07/cheryl-tweedy-300×295.jpg

Bastard. Bastard. Bastard.

So there you have it. Five real contenders to take Ronaldo’s crown. I’m sure many more players will be added to the list as the season goes on….

And there is always Gary Neville……..

10 Reasons Why I Hate Arsenal....

Matt Binks — Mon, 29 Jun 2009 00:38:37 -0400

A while back I wrote an article explaining why I "disliked" a certain team in Manchester...

The article, predictably, caused a bit of a stir, from fans and foes alike.

I was called various names and accused of various things, to an extent that I swore I wouldn't be tempted to write a similar article again.

However I recently received a rather sickening comment on the article from a "fan" of Arsenal. Just to prove I am not biased against Manchester United, and that I do in fact, hate all other 91 league football teams (and most others), I present 10 reasons to hate the Gooners....

1. The fans

Before you all start getting itzy, let me say that this point is directed towards what I would hope is a small minority of Arsenal fans (a minority that didn't seem to prominent at Highbury.

Fair enough Eboue is a bad player. He cheats, he dives, he moans and sulks. But to boo your own player is a stupid thing to do. What good do you think its going to do? Do you think it's going to affect him in a positive way?

As a Liverpool fan I have had to sit through games involving amongst others, Rigobert Song, Igor Biscan, Bjorn Kvarme and even Sean Dundee. If I can sit and give my support to that shower, then you can show a little bit of support too.

2. The "kids are alright" theory

Yes, you're right Mr Wenger. The kids ARE alright. The kids are alright when they are David Beckham, Ryan Giggs, and Paul Scholes...When they are Nicolas Bendtner you just look like a bit of a dickhead...

Speaking of which....

3. Nicolas Bendtner

I quite like arrogance in a footballer. Supreme confidence inspires yourself and others around you into better performances. Arrogance from players like Eric Cantona and Thierry Henry is a positive trait.

Arrogance is not always a positive thing though....

"Next season, I can finally make my breakthrough and then I still have two years to become better than Zlatan—and I will.

"By then I will be close to my peak and will be able to look upon myself as one of the world’s greatest strikers."

Arrogance from Nicolas Bendtner is the equivalent of an economic lecture from a Zimbabwean finance minister.

One of the world's greatest strikers??? Seriously? Bendtner has one of the worst touches I have ever seen in a football player. Fair enough he scores a few goals, but playing in front of Fabregas you are bound to.

If Bendtner was half as good as he thinks he is, Arsenal fans would not be comparing him with Chris Kiwomya and Francis Jeffers (Google them if you are unaware of the talents of these two greats).

Besides, the tit wears pink boots.

4. Arsenal, "hot stuff"

I picked on Manchester United's "musical" history, and Arsenal deserve the same treatment. Check out this shambles of an attempt at music

www.youtube.com/watch?v=Wf4NPn2z7x8

Including the immortal words.... "Walking in a Bergkamp wonderland, where Parlour was our Ray of light"...... That's right, pop lyrics written about Ray Parlour....

5. Becoming "soft"

Wenger's Arsenal teams used to be feared and respected. For a long while their disciplinary record was absolutely awful. This correctly got cleared up but with it went the aggression and assertion that made them so good. Players like Martin Keown, Patrick Vieira, and Ian Wright knew when to leave their foot in.

The immortal side of 2004 that went a full season unbeaten, were physically superior to most other sides. This combined with the fantastic football they played, made them a truly world class side.

The Arsenal side of 2009 couldn't fight their way out of a Kevin Davies sandwich bag. They are often made to look very very ordinary by vastly poorer footballing teams, simply by being bullied.

Tony Adams would turn in his grave, if he was dead.

6. William Gallas

A decent footballer but a disgrace of a man, and worse things could be said for him as a captain. I have zero respect for Gallas at all.

When things are going badly, you look to your leader for inspiration. When your fearless captain is sat down crying like a baby, you give up. That is exactly what happened. Again, Tony Adams would turn in his grave if he was dead...and not lying about being offered jobs...

7. Wenger's unfair cloning method

Ashley Cole, Gael Clichy, and now Kieron Gibbs. How the hell is Wenger able to clone identical looking left backs? Surely Sebb Blatter has something in his book of rules that forbids this?

8. Pass, pass, pass, pass, pass...pass...shoot? Nah, pass pass.

Fair enough it is pretty to watch and it occasionally creates some pretty goals, but does anybody else ever get really annoyed by Arsenal's inability to actually kick the ball from distance, in the direction of the goal?

Arshavin went against this rule against Liverpool last season, and to be fair he showed why they shouldn't shoot...Oh wait no he didn't, he scored four goals.

9. The famous youth teams!

Arsenal's youth teams over the last few years were compared with the 1970 Brazil teams. Some fans were claiming they could win the league, FA Cup, Champions League and Copa America all on their own....

Now somebody please tell me one of the players who has turned out to be world class? Or even good enough for a regular place in the Arsenal team?

10. Arsene Wenger

Here is my mini list of 10 short reasons why I hate Arsene Wenger:

1 - The fact that he doesn't appear to be looking any time an Arsenal player commits a foul.

2 - The fact that he made Gary Lineker go to Japan.

3 - The fact that he suggested management to Glenn Hoddle.

4 - His bizarre loyalty to players—Not signing new players because he would have to drop Bendtner and Diaby? No, you sign new players so you CAN drop these two clowns.

5 - Excuses—Please just admit you got beat! For six of the best, please visit:

http://www.whoateallthepies.tv/2008/08/top_10_arsene_w.html

6 - His exemption from criticism. He hasn't won anything for four years, his signings have been pretty hit and miss recently, and yet he seems completely exempt from criticism. Even Sir Alex gets a few "he's losing it now" comments, and he actually wins trophies.

7 - He introduced Nicolas Bendtner into English football.

8 - See above, but for Nicolas Anelka. Thanks SOOOOO much for the whiny French toss pot.

9 - He hasn't changed his jacket in 12 years. I know the French are renowned for their good hygiene...so I'm assuming he washes it, but surely a change is in order.

10 - The Wenger "knows good players" myth. Yes, he has unearthed some gems (Fabregas, Vieira, Henry, Anelka), but he also said Franny Jeffers was the "fox in the box" they needed. More like an overweight badger in a pub. Recently he has unearthed such future legends as amongst others, Djourou, Senderos, Diaby and Bendtner.

He also signed Pascal Cygan and Igor Stepanovs...

So there we have it. Please comment, ermmmm, constructively.

Dear Auntie Binks...I Have a Problem

Matt Binks — Tue, 26 May 2009 00:00:36 -0400

It is a little-known fact that for many years I had a little disguised role as "Agony Aunt" to the stars...

I knew about Zinedine Zidane's anger issues before the World Cup Final. I knew A-Rod was fond of "bettering" himself; and I knew that Michael Jackson was, errrr, young at heart shall we say.

Obviously, my oath forbids me from revealing the troubles of my clients, but now as I don't believe in anything anymore, I will delve into my archives to reveal the problems of the stars...

My first letter comes from an intriguing young man called Jeff...

Dear Auntie Binks,

My name is Jeff and I have a problem. Well, actually I have lots of issues, but I think it's the one main thing that it comes down to, you know?

The thing is, nobody "gets me," you know? They don't see I'm just a free spirit, man. I need to be free, man; I need to be like an eagle; I need to fly, you know?

I'm like a god-damn enigma. Am I here? Am I there? I don't even know myself anymore because I'm so charismatic, my aura is beyond boundaries, you know?

It all started when I was a kid. My parents never understood me. One year at Christmas, I asked my dad for a $600 skateboard. The son of a bitch went and got me a $500 one. I mean, does he not know me at all? Why did he try and ruin my life?

I got him back though, I dyed my hair, pierced my kneecap and stayed in my room all night listening to Slipknot records, whilst trying to scratch my wrists with a yale key.

If he doesn't understand me then I will subject him to this misery every night, you know?

My brother is the same. He is in the same business as me. He works hard, stays clean and puts his all into his job and life.

I mean, who the hell does he thinks he is? Doesn't he know that by being professional, he is making me look bad? Just because I want to throw my career away by overdosing on Ketamine! What's wrong with that?! I'm a rainbow, you know? You can't shackle me with your rules, man.

I really hope you understand me, Auntie Binks. No one else does. They all just tell me to stop wasting my life by being a jackass.

Please, what can I do?

Yours,

Jeff "The eco-warrior, charismatic, rainbow coloured, enigmatic, charismatic, rainbow fish" Hardy...

Dear Jeff,

Hmmm, this sure is a tricky one. There are many things I would think to recommend to you. Counseling and suicide being the first two that come to mind.

Instead, I think I will tell it to you straight.

Basically, and please take offence from this. You need to stop being such a whining, complaining, emo son of a bitch.

You need to turn off your My Chemical Romance CD. You need to stop pretending to be a vampire. You need to grow the fuck up and accept that yes, whilst you are in the entertainment business, it is still a job and you can't keep acting like a morbid baby every time you feel a little "sleepy."

You're charismatic, you're an enigma? What the fuck are you talking about?

You are a human being with a job. Get on and do it. Nobody really gives a shit about you. They just feel let down when, yet again, you have to take a forced break because you took some "bad M&M's" at your local crack den.

I recommend having somebody beat your dopey head in with a telephone book for two hours until you finally grow up and stop acting like the kid at school that everybody knew was going to turn into a serial killer.

Take care, my love....

Aunty Binks

Next week, we have a lovely letter from a "Grandpa Ric" and a rather angry letter from "Big Dave."

Until next dear readers. Take care of yourselves, because everybody else thinks you're a tosser.

The Matt Binks Middle of May Award for Being Not Mediocre (Part 1)

Matt Binks — Sat, 23 May 2009 22:26:27 -0400

Good morning, evening, afternoon or night depending on where in the world you are.

Don't ever say that I never try to please my world audience of fans.....

I would like to announce the first ever Matt Binks Middle of May awards for being something other than mediocre... Trust me this will be bigger than the Oscars soon...Or the Grammys...Or the Country Music Awards...Or well at least the Hull and District Regional Mini Golf Putting competition anyway.

So let us begin.

Award number 1: The Bob Geldof Award for "Being a Total Arsehole, When You Really Should Like Him."

For those who dont know Sir Bob Geldof he is an ex-rock star who campaigns for world peace, the end of famine, cancelling third world debt and finding a cure for AIDS.

He organised probably the biggest concert in world history and has been responsible for saving lives.... A lot of lives....

Whilst doing all this, he still manages to come across as the worlds biggest Shithead.

This award is being given to JOHN CENA.

He is a good influence for children, he constantly works on his game despite being abused nearly everywhere he goes, he loves the business and has time for all his fans.

And yet he still comes across as a total shithead. This is not as easy as it sounds...

Well done John.

Award number 2 - The Al Gore Award for Should be Running the God Damn World.... Or at Least the Company.

We should all know the story of how Al Gore had the presidency stolen from him. The result was that whilst he was busy winning Oscars, Nobel Peace prizes and All Around Legend awards... His rival was trying to take over the world and becoming slightly less popular than Hitler, yes THAT Hitler.

This award goes to CHRIS JERICHO.

He is without doubt the most talented wrestler in the company today, both on the mat and on the mic. Instead of running the company and being given the ball and belt to run with...He is demoted to novelty matches with 60 year old men and getting punched by Mickey "I am a wanker" Rourke.

Whilst he is still managing to earn match and feud of the year awards, his replacements (Edge, Orton, Jeff Hardy, etc.) are still managing to produce seen it all before matches, declining ratings and one of the worst Wrestlemanias in History.

Award Number 3 - The Scottie Pippen Award for "I won't ever get any real recognition because I'm in that arseholes shadow all the time".

Scottie Pippen was one of the greatest players the NBA has ever seen. Unfortunately he will also be remembered as "That other guy in the Chicago team who played with Michael Jordan."

This award goes to MATT HARDY, who despite being more talented, more creative, ridiculously better at promos and have a lot more heart, will always be known as Jeff Hardy's brother.

I can understand people rating Jordan higher than Pippen, but how Jeff is giving push after push despite being barely coherent on the mic whilst Matt is relegated to a jealous brother character, is completely beyond me...

Award Number 4 - The Sir Cliff Richard award for "Should have fucked off a long time ago"

For those off you across the pond, who might not be aware of "Cliff", he was the UK's answer to Elvis. In the 1950's. Whilst the King took the dignified step of becoming fat and well, dead, Cliff decided to stay healthy and in the media's eye. Constantly producing performances on television and telling everyone how great Jesus is. This has now been going on for nearly 60 god damn years.

This award goes to DAVE BATISTA, who despite not being around for 60 years (Flair was very close to this award), should still have pissed off a long time ago.....

Award Number 5 - The Ryan Reynolds award for "I should hate your guts with every fibre of my body... and yet do not."

This is basically the opposite of the first award.

Ryan Reynolds, is a smug, slick looking son of a bitch who stars in a lot of films that I really dislike...

By all accounts I should hate him. He should be in my current list of 3 that I want to fall down a mineshaft (Bob Geldof, Bono, and Sir Alex Ferguson)

But I do not. Strangely I cannot help but laugh at the guy. It sickens me it really does.

This award goes to THE MIZ. The guy is a complete tool. He is an ex-reality TV star, which should automatically mean I hate him. He also has annoying hair, has annoying catchphrases and wears the type of hat that only 1950's Chicago gangsters and Dean Martin should be allowed to wear.

So I hate the guy right?

Well no. Despite everything, I cannot help but like the guy. His promos are hilarious and his ring work is actually not that bad. I cry and try to cut myself with a yale key after I laugh at his performances, but still I laugh.

So there you go. Please let me know if you agree or disagree with my choices.

Please also comment if you want to say something bad about Bob Gelfof. AKA "Africa's Saviour" "Helper of Millions" and "Campaigner for equality and peace in the world"

What a complete bastard you are Bob. I hate you, I hate your children, I hate your face, I don't like Mondays and I hate your stupid hair.

Bleacher Report Wrestling Community: Why I Need You To Be Better...

Matt Binks — Wed, 20 May 2009 02:22:39 -0400

Ok, I am taking a short hiatus from my ermmm hiatus, to express my views and displeasure about a number of things......

I recently read an article, which I consider to be a fairly decent article. The author, who I will refer to only as Andreaa Clair, makes some very valid and interesting points regarding criticism, criticism and cyber-bullying.

This is an interesting topic to me, as I was recently accused of being a "cyber-bully".

My Crime?

I dared to criticise an author's article.

My reasons were very valid. I thought the articles were dull, I thought they were unnecessary and most of all, I wanted to see more from the author.

The author herself, Celeste, took the criticism for what it was worth. She noted my points, expressed similar concerns about how her series of articles were burying her better efforts and then produced a piece of work that was excellent.

Celeste's reaction was mature, good natured and very welcome. The complete opposite can be said for a group of "writers" who I will refer to as PALRTTGAID.

(Pathetic Arse Licking Retards Trying To Get An Internet Date)

PALRTTGAID seemed to band together to ridicule my comments, accuse me of bullying, and basically act like a bunch of whiny pathetic children.

I have three things to say to you people.

1. I do not, and will never, give a rat's bottom about any of your replies.

2. Miss Winchester will never go on a date with you.

3. Stop "helping yourself" to the grainy images of Trish Stratus in a thong. Mommy is getting mad at having to clean the computer screen.

Now this did get me thinking.

Where the hell was PALRTTGAID when I was criticising Joe Burgett and Adrian Staheekekelllelee*7$5!

Could it possibly be that the thought of sitting in a tree house holding hands with Joe and Adrian isn't as appealing as the image of Celeste sharing your cupcakes?

Joe Burgett and Adrian Staheehhaleelehe@4@%& are two writers who I often comment on. Joe especially will concur that I have often been very critical of his work.

Joe may also have noticed that I haven't commented on any of his work in quite a while.

The reason?

Joe has improved. Just like I want Adrian to improve.

Just like I want all of you to write good, interesting articles.

I will tell you why.

We are not all blessed with live Raw on a Monday, ECW on a Tuesday and Smackdown on a Friday.

I live in a part of the world where the wrestling coverage isn't as substantial as in the States or Britain.

We have to deal with infrequent showings and a time delay.

To give you a rough idea, Macho Man Randy Savage is described as "One for the future" where I am.

I may have exaggerated a little bit, but to say I am deprived of wrestling coverage is a vast understatement.

That is why I rely on other sources to get my wrestling fix. Here on Bleacher Report, I thought I had found it.

Interesting articles and reviews kept me up to date with what was going on and helped me figure out what I needed to specifically look for on Youtube.

Unfortunately, I have seen the wrestling community decline somewhat in recent months.

The interesting, thought provoking articles have been replaced by endless fantasy dungeons and dragons-type games, the first of which were fairly entertaining..

The imitations were painful, mediocre and extremely boring.

We also have the daily toe stub that is Joe's 411. Joe dude, if your as creative, talented and special as you say you are. Write me an interesting article, I beg you.

Adrian. I know you love wrestling. We all know you love wrestling. Please stop telling us how much you love wrestling and harness your passion into something a bit more creative than "Mr. Frosty Interviews the Muppets" or whatever your new series is called.

Everybody else, either stay good or get better.

You might ask who the hell I think I am making this kind of statement.

I am a reader, as such I am entitled to my opinion. I am entitled to my criticisms.

I am sure as hell entitled to my bitch and whine whenever I see fit. We all are.

Bleacher Report is an open source network. There is no filter in place to stop garbage from getting through.

Any old mouse crawling over a keyboard can make an article that will be published.

Whilst this is the case, I will criticise. I will not stop criticising until I see the level of quality articles we ALL want to see.

I suppose this is where I should end the article with a punchy line. Or in Adrian's case, fake audience noises and a "what's on next week"..

Well here's what's on next week.

Matt Binks telling people they are crap until they stop being crap.

The end.

The Big Debate: Gerrard and Torres Vs Rooney and Ronaldo.

Matt Binks — Wed, 13 May 2009 02:51:10 -0400

As the Premier League season reaches its climax. It appears that Manchester United (barring a huge upturn in form from Wigan, Arsenal, or Hull) will again claim the title.

Throughout the season, their overall displays from goalkeeper to attack, has merited their third successive title.

Dropping only two points to teams in the bottom half is a fantastic statistic, one that Liverpool in particular should take note of.

Despite taking six points of Chelsea and United this season, Liverpool will again find themselves in the shadows of their neighbours to the East.

Manchester United and Liverpool have between them, an absolute treasure trove of talent. I could write numerous articles and superlatives on players such as Ferdinand, Giggs, Teves, Alonso or Mascherano.

Instead here I would like to focus on 4 players who I (and most) consider to be the cream of a very talented crop.

In Steven Gerrard, Fernando Torres, Wayne Rooney and Cristiano Ronaldo, the North West giants have 4 of the top ten, and in my opinion even the top 5 player in the world. Both combinations are deadly, but which deadly duo is better?

Whilst we will never find a definitive answer to this question, I will attempt to offer reasons for both.

If we first look at the goals for tally, we see that this is a very close run. With Ronaldo (18) and Rooney (12) the Manchester duo have scored 30 Premier League goals this season, giving them the edge. The Liverpool pairing trail by very little with 28 goals (Torres 13, Gerrard 15).

Gerrard has eight assists, Torres has four. This places them 1 behind the United tally of 13 (Ronaldo 7, Rooney 6).

The hard figures would suggest the UTD duo have the edge, however these figures must be looked at alongside number of appearances. Fernando Torres in particular, has had a very stop start season, which has affected his form as well as his stats.

One aspect of the game that I would definitely hand the edge to Rooney and Ronaldo, would be versatility. Manchester, like Liverpool, seem to prefer playing with one out and out striker, two roaming wide forward/winger type players and another playing in the hole behind.

Rooney and Ronaldo can play either of the 4 attacking positions comfortably. This allows other forward players to fit into the team with ease. Dimitar Berbatov and Carlos Tevez for example, are both strikers who can play alongside the pair.

Liverpool does not have that luxury. Gerrard is best utilized behind the front man, as he is not the sort of player to lead the line, and less devastating when playing out wide.

Torres is an out and out striker and would be wasted anywhere else.

This means that other forward players have little to no chance of playing alongside them. Peter Crouch couldn't find a place, and Robbie Keane was soon moved as well.

This has left Liverpool with pretty much one senior striker in their squad, as Ryan Babel and Dirk Kuyt are both preferred on the wings.

The problem then arises that when faced with a spell without Torres Liverpool lack cover in that position.

I would go as far as saying that because Gerrard and Torres are both set in stone for their positions, Liverpool don't get the best out of other players.

Yossi Bennayoun was fantastic when replacing Gerrard against Arsenal recently, and Liverpool fans have been quietly wondering about Babels ability as a Striker since he was signed.

The versatility of the United pair allows other players on the team to shine as well.

One edge that I would give to the Liverpool pair is the relationship between the pair. Working in combination, I believe Gerrard and Torres to be one of the best strike partnerships in the football world.

Rooney and Ronaldo undoubtedly combine together on regular occasions, but I do not think they do so to the same degree Gerrard and Torres do. Ronaldo in particular, I think, is such a good player because of what he does individually.

The league table would suggest that the United pair have been shown as the better of the two, but an interesting statistic may give proof to the alternative.

Gerrard and Torres have so far only started 12 out of 36 games together this season.

You can't help but assume that a few of the draws that occurred, particularly at Anfield, may have been turned into wins with the pair on the field together at once.

Crucially they weren’t.

Football is not about pairs, however, it takes more than 2, 3, or even 10 to tango. Manchester United have shown that their squad is currently a little bit deeper.

The debate about who is the more productive pair however, is very much undecided.

Which do you think is the superior duo? And can they really be compared?

10 Reasons Why Newcastle United Belong in the Championship

Matt Binks — Mon, 04 May 2009 05:04:53 -0400

After yesterday's shocking performance at Anfield, Newcastle United, so long thought of as one of the game's "big boys", are staring down at a desolate future in the Championship.

I have read many articles and comments that seem to suggest that the Georgie nation are too big, or too good to go down.

I have seen sympathy and distress at their plight from many neutrals.

In this article I would like to put down 10 reasons why I think this sympathy is undeserved.

1. The "Successful club" tag

It does make me laugh somewhat when I read about how a club as successful as Newcastle can not go down. What exactly is it that makes Newcastle so successful? The lack of trophies? The lack of recent European football?

When you look at the plight of two time European champions Nottingham Forest, or even Leeds United, you begin to see that Newcastle aren't even going to be that big a fish in their new smaller pond.

2. Their ownership

Mike Ashley is an idiot. An absolute oaf of a man. For a more specific reason, please see below.

3. Management

For me this starts at the very top of the pile, Dennis Wise, who had some non-specific, irrelevant job title similar to a director of football role. What exactly qualified Mr Wise for such an important role at a Premier League club?

Aside from one decent FA Cup run—five years ago—this man has had a managerial career that can be best described as non-descript.

Let's now look at the numerous managers that have sat on the St James' bench this season.

Kevin Keegan—Keegan, despite showing all the passion in the world, was found wanting when managing Newcastle in his previous spell. Despite a huge lead, and a fantastic side. Keegan lost his edge. His team followed.

Now fast forward 10 years. 10 years which have included an unsuccessful England role and five years not even watching football, and Keegan is expected to be successful with a team not even half as talented as his previous reign?

The fact he was undermined by Ashley and Wise at every turn didn't help, but Keegan was never going to be the "Messiah"

Joe Kinnear—Another shocking decision. Another man who had been out of football for so long, that people tend to have forgotten his last spell as a manager at Nottingham Forest, was absolutely awful.

Throw in the fact that Kinnear has long standing heart problems and was always going to be risking further health issues, and you feel even more perplexed about this decision.

Alan Shearer—For me, this is the most puzzling, and desperate appointment of the lot. Shearer is a man with zero coaching experience, and was often criticised for tactical naivety whilst sat on a sofa...Talking.

This was no doubt another desperate attempt by Ashley to pacify the Toon Army, but giving the reigns over to a novice when facing relegation is the act of a man who knows nothing about football.

Trevor Brooking was appointed West Ham manager under very similar circumstances a few years back, but at least Sir Trevor had a history of understanding coaching and tactics...West Ham were still relegated.

There is a place for sentiment and ex heros in football. A Premier league relegation dogfight is not that place.

4. Coaching

Looking beyond the numerous managers, various high profile coaches have sat on the bench. Again this reads as a list of failed managers and coaches.

What exact benefit do Newcastle see in bringing in names like Colin Calderwood and Iain Dowie on short term contracts? Haven't their previous records not shown they are maybe not the right person in a big job situation?

5. The fans

This is somewhat controversial I admit, but the fact is, the Toon Army have grown an almighty chip on their shoulder. I will ignore the drastically reduced attendances, when they were previously in the old Division 2, and talk about the last few seasons in particular.

Newcastle fans, in my humble opinion, have a huge illusion of grandeur problem. They have been told too many times that they have a given right to be successful. Buying 50 quid replica shirts does not give you the right to scream, "You don't know what your doing" at a man like Sam Allardyce, when 7th in the table.

This is a man who is by the way, easily guiding Blackburn to safety.

I am now half way through my article, and I haven't even touched upon the playing staff...So here goes.

6. Living in the past

Nicky Butt, Alan Smith, Joey Barton, Kevin Nolan and Michael Owen. All full England internationals. Regular and important members of the England set up, or on the fringes, chomping at the bit for their place.

This last statement is very very true.... Or at least it was six years ago. Add to this players like Mark Viduka, Geremi, and Damien Duff, and you have a Premier league dream team...from 2002.

The fact is, all of the above players have seen their careers go down the pan in recent years, due to loss of form or injury. A club can afford to have on or two of these type players, as a calculated gamble. But building your team around them is ridiculous.

The choice of playing and managerial staff in general, to me sounds like Mike Ashley is basing his football master plan based around a 2001 copy of Match magazine he read at the airport on the way to ruin this club.

7. Lack of spirit

When trying to survive a relegation fight, you need a few things. Luck is one, and Newcastle are not getting close enough to opponents' goals to get any of this.

Another thing you need is the quality to scrap. The ability to fight, sweat, and bleed for your badge, your club, your fans, and your place at the top table. Yesterday's performance against Liverpool showed absolutely none of this.

A teams fighting spirit must come from the top, and yet in Viduka, Martins, and Owen, Newcastle have a trio of strikers who couldn't give a damn about Newcastle United.

Martins in particular does not look bothered when he has to chase a game. and I honestly believe Owen only ever used Newcastle as a way into the England team. Now that Fabio Cappello has closed the door on Owen's England career, Owen's effort has plummeted.

The midfield looks full of players you would expect to relish a scrap. Nicky Butt, Joey Barton, Alan Smith, and Kevin Nolan all have reputations as "battlers" and "grafters".

The problem with this is that Smith and Nolan have never had the qualities to match this reputation, Barton seems to prefer channeling his aggression into stupid challenges, and Butt unfortunately does not look the same player without Roy Keane next to him.

Nearly the whole side yesterday looked devoid on any character or fight. In fact, only Steve Harper and Damien Duff can be given any form of credit.

8. The Defence

Absolutely shocking. As a Liverpool fan I have watched my team score eight goals against Newcastle this season. In both games, the Newcastle keeper had a fantastic game, and Liverpool hit the bar at least three times.

It is not only against Liverpool that Newcastle have looked shoddy. Numerous defensive errors, more often than not, basic individual errors, have left Newcastle in the position they are in.

9. The Midfield

I have already listed the defensive midfielders Newcastle have. Other than Damien Duff, there is very little else. There is a distinct lack of creativity in the Newcastle squad.

10. The Attack

Aside from the lack of effort from the front men, there seems to be a lack of confidence and match fitness. The strikers are not gambling. They are not pressuring the opponents back four and making things happen. If you combine this with a lack of creativity from the midfield, it is no surprise Newcastle aren't troubling the scorecards recently.

So there you have it. A Sunday league board, third division management, and a Championship team. Not the ingredients you would think would equal a successful recipe for survival.

Of course they could still do it. St James' Park is still a difficult place to go to, and the Toon Army will do all they can to lift there team. This may be enough to ensure survival.

The fact will remain though. Newcastle are not too good to go down. They are not too big, or too successful. Newcastle are a poor team in a big stadium.

To me, unfortunately, that much is black and white.

Do I Watch Football Because I'm Miserable, or Is It the Other Way Around?

Matt Binks — Thu, 30 Apr 2009 01:28:59 -0400

Imagine the scene: You have just sat and watched your team lose an FA Cup final. Your dreams all seem to be shattered, and then just to make things a little worse, you hear a phrase that makes your blood boil.

"I don't know what you're so bothered about. It's only a game. How does it affect you in any way?"

As violently frustrating as that question is, it did get me thinking: Why do I put myself through all of this? Is football really making me miserable?

Looking back, I tried to remember how my emotional life and well-being were being influenced by the beautiful game. To be honest I was shocked.

I would like to share with you a few examples.

Christmas 2006 I broke up with a girlfriend, which is never a nice thing. I then sat on boxing day (Dec. 26) and watched Liverpool go down 1-0 at Blackburn. My mood instantly went from being upset, to wanting to introduce my ex-girlfriend's backside to the Christmas tree.

Is it perhaps worrying that I seemed to care more about a 1-0 defeat to Blackburn, than I did about splitting with my girlfriend of a number of years?

This isn't so bad though as the said ex had come up with the following comments in recent years:

1. "Why don't we leave early and avoid the traffic?" Two minutes before Steven Gerrard smacked in Liverpool's third and crucial goal against Olympiakos in the 2005 Champions League campaign.

2. "Did you really need to wake me up and tell me that?" As I rang her, whilst drunk admittedly, to tell her that Liverpool had won the Champions League.

3. "Yeah, but he's good looking isn't he?" As I cursed Christiano Ronaldo for getting Wayne Rooney sent off in the 2006 World Cup.

She never stood a chance.

In the World Cup of 2002, I sat with my friends in our local pub at 9:00 in the morning to watch England crash out of the competition in an uninspiring 2-1 defeat.

Following the game, the pub's DJ came up with brilliant idea of playing the song "Stop Crying Your Heart Out" by Oasis. I could have bottled him, I really could have.

The song "Panic" by the Smiths instantly came to mind. Not so much the title, but certainly the "Hang the DJ, hang the DJ, hang the DJ" bit.

Is it bad that football caused me to want to attack an innocent pub DJ?

When England played Croatia, in their make or break Euro 2008 qualifying game at Wembley, I was living in Sydney. Because of the time difference, I was forced to watch the game at 8:00 am in the rest area of my place of work.

When the final whistle blew, signalling England's exit, I considered my options:

1. I could do the right thing, go sit at my desk, and listen to a bunch of Aussies whingeing about their superannuation problems.

2. I could turn around, take off my tie, risk being sacked, and find the nearest pub in order to drink away the memory of Steve McClaren's England reign.

Is it sane to risk unemployment when you're 14,000 miles away from home, just because of football?

I could write a whole novel on the dark thoughts Gary Neville has caused me.

I will not read the papers or the Internet for at least three days after a Liverpool defeat.

I have sworn at loved ones out of the frustration caused by equalisers (not even winners).

I consider Gareth Southgate's penalty miss at Euro 96 to be one of the top two most upsetting things that have ever happened me...and in the top 10 most upsetting things to happen to anybody. Ever.

Is football contributing towards making me miserable? No, because that would suggest there are other factors, and there are not.

I can honestly say that the one thing that makes me truly miserable 99.9 percent of the time is football.

So why do I do it? Why do I watch it when I know it will, sooner rather than later, make me miserable again?

Why do any of us do it? I'm sure that I am not alone in my feelings.

The reason is the highs, the glorious highs that counteract that lows. The peaks to the troughs, the Beatles to the Spice Girls.

I remember being thrown out of my favourite club for singing the "Ring of Fire" chant on top of a table following the 2007 Champions league semifinal against Chelsea.

I remember singing the same song, while twirling my shirt around my head, in a still packed Anfield, a full half an hour after the final whistle had blown in the Champions League semi of 2005.

I remember dancing on top of a telephone box after England's 5-1 mauling of Germany back in 2001, only to be helped down by a policeman whose only comments were: "He's some player that Owen lad, have a good night lads."

I would swap another 1000 years of the misery football causes me to have moments like this. Football might be the biggest cause of the blues, but it is the best cure by far.

Unless you're a Newcastle fan of course.

A Fond Farewell And a Final Thought To You "Rasslin" Fans

Matt Binks — Mon, 30 Mar 2009 21:43:20 -0400

I have recently had the bug to write again. Unfortunately (as I am fantastic.... just kidding) I do not know enough about wrestling to be able to contribute in this particular community. I am sticking to football, something I feel I know enough about to write decent articles.

I have also recently had somebody asking me if I have been accused of being him.....A comment which quite frankly scared me to death, but also amused me greatly.

A combination of the above two factors, has led to the decision that I will no longer be a frequent commenter in this community.

But before I leave I would like to offer my two pence worth, on what is a thriving little community.

First of all the good.....

There are without doubt some absolutely fantastic articles and writers on here.

JLB. You are superb. I read a lot of things on a lot of topics and I haven't come across many things that can equal the passion your articles have. You obviously love what you write about and this shines through.

There are other writers that I can mention, Shane, Ron, Mina etc etc are all good solid writers that have kept me entertained and informed.

There is also a fantastic little series of fantasy wrestling, where Raw and Smackdown etc are re-written. These are a little far-fetched at times sure, but that is what we like to see!

To all the above people, Keep up the good work please!

Now to the bad........

There is someone on this site that calls themselves "The Hitman" (??) There is someone on this site that calls themselves "The future" (I actually like your work, so please don't be offended). There is someone on this site who even calls himself "Bleacher reports resident superstar". There are biographies on people's profiles that include signature quotes.....

Is this really neccesary for credible writers?

The reasons why I like and dislike wrestling are the exact same reasons why I like and dislike the wrestling community...

I like it when two wrestlers produce entertaining and athletic matches. Stuff they do in the ring is incredible sometimes. This I would associate with the good articles on here. The strong ones, the opinion based ones, the ones that tell me something I didn't know.

On the other hand, there are moments in wrestling that make me reach for the remote. These are things like a little dude dressed like a leprechaun, or a man eating worms. These moments I associate with all the crap articles on here. The endless breaking news shit, the daily pain in the ass that is the rumor mill.

If you want to read these spoilers go to a site that deals with them! Why the f*ck would you want to spoil it for yourself anyway!?

Stick to writing good informative articles, and this community will grow. Not only that, it will start to gain respect. Your POTD articles will increase as will your ratings.

At the end of the day no-one is ever going to truly respect an article written by somebody who gives HIMSELF a nickname.

Not even Eagle death Machine.

I bid you all a fond farewell.

The Great, The Good and The God Damn Awful—No. 2: Igor Biscan

Matt Binks — Mon, 30 Mar 2009 00:53:35 -0400

The second subject in my, The Great, the Good and the God Damn awful series in Croatian midfielder Igor Biscan.

Biscan is a player that perplexed, infuriated and amused the hell out every single Liverpool fan during his spell at the club.

Biscan was bought from Dinamo Zagreb in December of 2000, by then Liverpool boss Gerard Houllier. The move was considered a surprise by many, because in Steven Gerrard, Dietmar Hamann, Gary McCallister, and Danny Murphy, Liverpool already had a pool of talent to choose from in this position.

The size of the 5.5 million pound fee was also a shock, because little had been heard of Biscan. Shockingly now it has been revealed that the inflated fee was due in part to fend of interest from the likes of Barcelona, Juventus, and AC Milan, who were all allegedly ready to pounce.

Biscan struggled to fit in the Liverpool midfield and never realy made any position his own. He was quickly shown the door in terms of being the heartbeat of the Liverpool midfield, the position Houllier envisaged for him, and was eventually re moulded as a makeshift centre half.

The fact that Biscan was turned into an emergency centre half perhaps highlights one of Gerard Houllier's greatest mistakes. Biscan was preferred in this position to Jamie Carragher, who now is the backbone of a Liverpool team challenging for the Premiership and Champions league, and regarded as one of the finest natural defenders in Europe.

The arrival of Rafa Benitez signaled the end of Biscan's Liverpool spell, but the story has one twist left yet.

During the 2004-05 season, Liverpool suffered injuries and suspensions at key times, to central midfielders, Steven Gerrard, Xabi Alonso, and Didi Hamann. Biscan, who had not been sold in time was forced to fill in.

Unbelievably, to the majority of Liverpool fans, Biscan produced performances in the journey to the Champions league final that were frankly outstanding.

His surging runs and dogged battling in the centre of midfield were the foundation for Liverpool to record famous victories. Away to Deportivo, Bayern Leverkusen and Juventus, Biscan was massive. He was also excellent in the semi final against Chelsea.

He had gone from a figure of frustration to an important member of a champions league winning side. Nothing highlights this fact more than a banner seen at Istanbul that read, in a take off of the famous Mary Poppins song—"Supercalifragilisticexpialidocious."

"SuperCroatIgorBiscanUsedToBeAttrocious."

His expression and appearance of always looking like he had just woken up endeared him to many fans, as did the stories of his alleged sexual misconduct.

He was allegedly caught on regular occasions with women in the team hotel, and according to Steven Gerrard was once caught "alone" on the team bus.

Benitez eventually sold Biscan immediately after the 2005 season, but "IIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIGORRRRRRRRRRR" as the Kop affectionately sang will never be forgotten.

To the outside football fan, Biscan was God damn awful.

But to Liverpool fans, Biscan was certainly not great, probably not even good, but he is a loved cult hero nevertheless.

Profiles of the Great, the Good, and the God Damn Awful: No. 1: Paul McGrath

Matt Binks — Sun, 29 Mar 2009 23:59:54 -0400

As football fans, we will no doubt have read many articles and heard many stories about players such as Pele, Maradona, Georgie Best, etc. These are players that are world renowned and rightly so.

This series of articles will not focus on players like that.

Instead, I will bring you players that aren't written about too often. Some will be great players, some will be good players, and some will be players that should probably be left un-remembered. But either way, they have a story to be told.

I am going to start my article with a player who could have been the greatest centre half the world has ever seen. These are the words of Sir Alex Fergsuon, not mine.

Paul McGrath was a tough and yet classy centre half. His ability to read a game was second to none, and he was an excellent ball player who often started his teams attacks from his own half.

After a series of impressive displays in the Irish league. McGrath earned a dream move across the water to England, and to Manchester United. His early career showed huge promise and fantastic potential, both as a centre half and a midfielder.

This potential was somewhat realized with a man of the match performance in the 1985 FA cup final.

Unfortunately, this was as good as it got for McGrath at United. Under new manager Alex Ferguson, the two things that would plague his entire career came to the fore.

McGrath's injury problems were so bad, that prior to selling him to Aston Villa, Ferguson offered McGrath a substantial financial package and testimonial to retire. Mcgrath refused.

McGrath's other demon, and certainly the most damaging to McGrath the man, was alcohol. He suffered with heavy drinking problems his entire life, something that had near fatal results on multiple occasions.

It is something that he regrets most of all, and something that he faces a constant battle with to this day.

The combination of a lack of fitness and damaging personal problems left Ferguson with no choice but to offload McGrath. Ferguson has said on numerous occasions that this was anything but a footballing decision.

If McGrath's career was expected to end with a move away from Old Trafford, people were very much mistaken.

Mcgrath is known as one the greatest players in Aston Villa's history. His series of impressive displays earned him plaudits from media, fans, management and experts alike, culminating in two second place finishes for the Villains, and a PFA player of the year award in 1993, unbelievable for a player considered "on the scrapheap" only four years earlier.

This story is perhaps even more remarkable for the fact that throughout his Villa career he was unable to train with the team because of his injuries. This is similar to the situation with Ledley King today, only McGrath never missed games.

McGrath was also voted one of the top three Irish footballers of all time, alongside Roy Keane and Johnny Giles. The Irish fans worshipped McGrath and rightly so.

His most famous performance came in the 1994 world cup. Defending a 1-0 lead against favourites Italy, McGrath produced a virtuoso performance to ensure victory. He kept Roberto Baggio, the worlds best player at the time, almost invisible throughout.

This performance included a passage of play considered by Jack Charlton, a world cup winning defender himself, to be the best piece of defending seen on the world stagie. Bobby Moore included.

McGrath slid in on Roberto Baggio to nick a ball away that was played into the Italians feet. The ball fell loose to an Italian attacker on the edge of the area, and he instantly chipped the ball back in to the head of Baggio.

Baggio had the advantage as he was standing, but McGrath managed to rise from a lying down position, to not only challenge Baggio, but beat him to the ball in the air.

The defending was not over yet. McGrath again landed on the floor, with the ball again landing at the feet of an Italian attacker. The ball was struck hard and straight towards goal. McGrath dived, again from the floor to take the ball square in the face.

Now most footballers at this point would stay down, knowing full well the referee would stop the game for a head injury.

Not McGrath. Instead, he rose of his feet to chase down the loose ball.

This kind of determination and heart was what gave him the nickname "God", and spurned the legendary "Ooh ahh Paul McGrath" chant, long before Cantona had ever flicked his collar at Old Trafford.

As McGrath got older he had spells at Derby and Sheffield United, but for two years at least, McGrath was possibly the greatest defender in the world.

It is equally shocking and saddening to think about how good McGrath could have actually been, but ask any Villa fan about him and you will be guaranteed a smile and a story, be it of his player of the year winning performances in 93, or the time he man marked Alan Shearer whilst drunk, a story confirmed by both parties.

McGrath was without doubt one of the finest defenders the premiership has ever seen, and a worthy entry into the Great, good and God damn awful series.

McGrath was undoubtedly one of the greats.

Fixin' a Hole: The Resurgence of Liverpool

Matt Binks — Tue, 24 Mar 2009 02:08:05 -0400

As Middlesborough's Turkish striker Tuncay put away his second goal in the recent two-nil victory over Liverpool, Liverpool fans could be forgiven for thinking the race was over.

A season, which promised so much, seemed to have followed a familiar path. Liverpool was left stumbling beside a road being torn up by a Manchester United juggernaut that just kept on rolling.

Fast forward three weeks and optimism has been renewed... and how.

Beating Real Madrid 4-0, Manchester 1-4 and Aston Villa 5-0 in successive games is nothing short of phenomenal. Winning these games in the manner they have, against a backdrop of negativity and media "I told you so's" has made the victories that much sweeter.

Make no mistake about it, this has been a run of form that has put people, journalists and fans alike, on notice.

But has it been coming? Liverpool has looked capable of beating anybody this season, and yet time after time their fans have been left frustrated and bewildered by their team's failure to deliver that final blow.

Let's not forget that Liverpool has only lost two league games this season. The first, to the Spurs, only coming after 90 minutes of a game Liverpool completely dominated, and these were Harry Redknapp's words, not mine. But the draws have been damaging beyond words.

So why all of a sudden has the surge of goals and confidence, so often lacking this season, come from?

The first thing Liverpool fans point to is the fact that their undoubted stars, Torres and Gerrard, are finally getting a run of games together. It is perhaps an excuse to blame the injury problems on Liverpool not winning the title this season. Chelsea fans have just as much right to say that the presence of the hugely influential Michael Essien, as well as Ricardo Carvalho and Joe Cole, could have hugely improved their own title bid.

But the loss of Torres's goals is not the only thing that has cost Liverpool this season. When you take him out of the equation, the way Liverpool lines up and approaches a game vastly differs from when Torres is present. In my opinion, this is what has cost Liverpool the most.

Liverpool likes to play a 4-4-1-1 formation, though this is usually more of a 4-2-3-1 formation when attacking, and a 4-5-1 when defending. This formation works for Liverpool because it allows the team to get the best out of its players.

Javier Mascherano is allowed to sit and break up opposition attacks and Alonso can sit and control the pace and direction of the game, something he currently does better than any midfielder in Europe. with the possible exception of Xavi at Barcelona. Because this pairing, when playing in the favoured formation, has Gerrard bursting into the box and providing support to the striker, the team can play its natural game. In a standard 4-4-2 formation, which Liverpool had had to resort to in the absence of Torres, the players are not able to do this.

Rafa's favoured formation also brings the best out of its wide players. In a 4-4-2 formation, Jossi Bennayoun and Dirk Kuyt in particular can be incredibly frustrating. In the 4-4-1-1 formation, however, the strengths of these players are obvious. Kuyt's work-rate is unlike most players in world football. He is the epitome of the Duracell bunny with boots on. Players such as Gerrard and Alonso are allowed to play football because they have the insurance of wide players who are capable and more than willing to fill in behind them.

In the absence of Torres, when playing 4-4-2, Liverpool's wide men have to resort to a more traditional winger role, which doesn't suit any of Liverpool's midfield, with the possible exception of Albert Rieira. It often leaves them often and unimaginative in attack, and very susceptible to counter attack in defence, something Boro found out in its victory.

The final way the absence of Torres has altered Liverpool's approach has been with Steven Gerrard.

Rafa's favoured central midfield pairing is obviously Macherano and Alonso. This allows Gerrard more freedom when playing behind Torres. With this space and freedom, Gerrard can destroy most teams, a fact recently stated by Zinedine Zidane, who is no stranger to this sort of role.

When playing 4-4-2, Gerrard has often looked uncomfortable. He isn't a natural striker or wide player, and because he is not preferred in the centre of midfield, his role has seemed unclear at times. This was especially the case when playing with Robbie Keane.

In short then, the presence of Torres not only adds a greater goal threat to Liverpool, it allows the team's other stars to shine just that little bit brighter, but has it come just that little bit too late?

The run-in for the premiership has just been made that more exciting, and it remains to be seen which side of the Lancs road will be painting their side of town red.

My Super Exclusive With The Leader Of The Assasins, Mr Joe Burgett!!

Matt Binks — Wed, 11 Feb 2009 04:50:43 -0500

Yesterday I was fortunate enough to sit down with the man.... the myth..... the legend..... the tard..... the head honcho himself...... the leader of the asses, sorry Assasins. Mr. Joe "Berg, AJ" Burgett......

Matt - Wow Joe, what an honor it is to meet you. I needed to say that right off the bat.

Joe - Excuse me, what did I say before we started? I will not answer to Joe.

Matt - Sorry, sorry, Mr. Number one, its an honour sir.

Joe - That is better.... Peasant.

Matt - Anyway, number one, how do you respond to people who say that you can't spell and that your vocabulary is poor.

Joe - Spiffingly.

Matt - Er Joe, sorry, number one, that doesn't make any sense at all.

Joe - Of course it does, I said it after all, and i'm number one.

Matt - Riiiiiight, ok........

Joe - Would you excuse me two seconds, I have breaking news to report....

At this point in the interview Joe dissapears for 10 minutes. He returns with his latest piece of work.

Cristian Cage to debut at Wrestlemania in a match against Sly Stalone!!!!

Matt - Err thats Bullshit Joe.

Joe - Ahemmm

Matt - Sorry, sorry that's bullshit Mr. number one.

Joe - No it isn't, its breaking news. Broke by me Joe "number one" Burgett.

Matt - But, but Cristian was on ECW last night.

Joe - Are you accusing me of lying. I am the great one!! I have 18 retards willing to sacrifice themselves for my cause!!!!!

Matt - OK.... and what cause is that??

Joe - I'm not really sure yet. I'm just saying.

Matt - How to you respond to those who say the Asses are just a facade designed for your own ego and to hide the fact that most people think you are a fraud, a fake and a bit of a jackass??

Joe - Like this...

At this point Joe pulled a sulky face and went back to his computer. He returned later with some bullshit about Macho Man Randy Savage being engaged to the Queen of England.

At this point I decided to I needed to interview somebody a little more intelligent......

Read my joint interview with George Bush, Paris Hilton and a retarded sheepdog this time tomorrow.

BR Super Exclusive: The Real Ass-Assins Email Super Exclusively Revealed

Matt Binks — Tue, 10 Feb 2009 23:42:50 -0500

Daer Fellow Wriiters and Worssshipers of mee.

The tima has cum to takke ovver the Bleaacher retort. We mustt stande up againnsst all the bulllies and people who say that i am rubbisshk.

Howw can I bee rubbissshk whenn i have write 56,9885 artticles aboutt cristian cage in onee nigght?! Itss ridicullloous.

Too joinn mee and hellp alll the nastty bigger boyz piccking on me you must aggree to the followig, onlly theen will you bee able to becoome an ASS ssasin.

1. Eveerything you learnnt in skool must be forgeettn. Grammar and speeeliing is for loooserz, the half retarded way i spelll must be takken onn as a seccret languuage and coode for our brothherhood.

2. Originallity and thought is bannned by the brootherhood, insteadd yoou muusst takke a stoory that has allready been publlished onn anotherr websiite annd reporrt it ass your owwn, if yoou putt breakking newz in the headdline and sayy you are in the know about thesse thinggs, thenn peopple will beliive its yours.. I should no, Im number one.

3. Yiur girlfriiend, hobbies and pastiimes musst be disgarded,, we have noo rm forr norrmall actiivities in thiss grooup. I eexppect at leastt 456 articless per member, per day.

4. Yiou musst tell me how grate I am all the time,, i am No. 1 after all,

5. Did i tell u i woz No. 1?

If yoo aggree to theese termss come joinn myseelf and fellow mupppets, sorry i meant serious jornalists..

Youurs.

The No. 2 (thats how u spell won right????)

Why Football Isn't Just a Load Of Bull-Ard

Matt Binks — Wed, 28 Jan 2009 22:04:27 -0500

A favorite Angelic writer of mine was recently criticized for writing football articles that fell under the banner of humor. Disgracefully, in my opinion, it seems that some people seem it fit to criticize someone for daring to try and make light of the "Beautiful game."

Bill Shankly once famously said that football was more important than life and death. It may seem this way at times, and there is no denying your team's results really can affect the way your mood swings, but sometimes you just have to take a step back and realize—and I say this with trepidation: Football is a game.

If there was no humor left in football, we would be left facing a game filled with dickheads like Ashley Cole holding clubs ransom over pay deals he claimed were tantamount to slavery.

We would be left with the endless boring sagas over where Ronaldo, Gerrard, or anyone Manchester City are after is going to be next season.

We would be left with the nonsense rants by Wenger, Ferguson and sadly, now Benitez.

We would be left with a joyless shell of a game that I happily play in all weather conditions and have to pay £1.50 subs for the privilege. (Subs, if you are unaware, are paid to local clubs to help pay for things like kits, nets and sausages after the game.)

The soul of football really is being sapped out of the game, and for every Sheik Mohammed or Russian ruble that enters our game ,a little part of the game you fell in love with is being bought and discarded with.

Jimmy Greaves was famous for saying "Its a funny old game", but I'm not sure how much longer this saying can hold sway.

Players like Paul Gasgcoine and Dean Windass are a dying breed. Gazza famously was booked for mockingly showing a referee a yellow card when the official had dropped it. This, to me, was one of the first signs that it had gone too far.

That is why we must embrace the little bit of humor that is still left in the game.

That is why I thank god for Hull City's Jimmy Bullard.

Bullard is a footballer that loves the game. This can be said of players like Gerrard and Lampard also. But how often do you ever see Steven Gerrard actually smile? Maybe when he scores a goal, or when Liverpool win, but very rarely anytime else.

Gerrard's drive and motivation are excellent, and I am very happy that he is a Liverpool player. But sometimes, I just want to tell the miserable bugger to cheer up!

Bullard is a player who obviously is absolutely delighted just to be able to be called a footballer. Any interview I have ever seen with Bullard has been fun, entertaining, and his love of the game has shone through.

It's easy to say that football is fun when your winning trophies, but how many trophies has Jimmy Bullard ever won?

Still, he consistently plays the game with a love and a joy that can usually only be seen on playgrounds and fields all over the country.

If you think I’m over exaggerating, have a look at a couple of clips:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wIB7dCl51Z8

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HMlWpGE0akw

When Jimmy Bullard suffered his horrible knee injury, every true football fan was gutted.

When Jimmy Bullard received his England call up, every true football fan was delighted.

When Jimmy Bullard is substituted, every true football fan, home and away, applauds him, for the single reason that Jimmy Bullard is a footballer that we can actually relate to.

Without players like Jimmy Bullard, the game that I truly love will become completely unrecognizable. So please don't ever criticize humor in football. Players like Jimmy Bullard will disappear soon, and the humor will follow.

Lets so how much you miss it when it's gone.

Dumb No-Talent Writers Proving Wrestling Is Fake After All

Matt Binks — Tue, 20 Jan 2009 00:30:56 -0500

I don't write articles on wrestling; however, I am a fan and enjoy reading people's opinions and feelings on what is a great spectacle.

However, it has come to my attention that certain no-talent writers have decided to plague an opinions-oriented website to fuel their own egos and try to justify to themselves that they are something other than a no mark wannabe journalist, shamefully putting away their box of tissues and clicking off the "Trish Stratus semi nude!!!" tab on their computer.

Many, many people on this website have argued for and against wrestling as being a real sport. There will never be a definitive answer to this question, and most people are fine with that.

Something, though, is eating away at me.

Imagine you want to watch a live football game. Imagine you sit through a thrilling 89 minutes, packed full of goal mouth action and talking points, only to be completely taken back by a 90th minute winner which has you jumping up from your seat in ecstasy...

Now imagine coming to an "opinion-based" website wanting to read an interesting article, only to find, "Breaking news: Liverpool will win Saturday's game 3-2 with a last minute winner." Kinda takes away the fun, doesn't it?

Why do certain people feel the need to spoil something for the rest of us? Why can't the people (geeks) who really need to know what happens in wrestling before it actually happens stay on the wrestling websites where they belong? I want to read about wrestling, but I don't want some jumped-up little toad telling me what I am going to see.

Do you not understand that the greatest argument against wrestling being a sport is the fact that you can actually do this? You are contradicting yourself with every little painstakingly boring article you "write," and by write I mean copy.

Please keep your spoilers to yourself and let those of us who just want to sit down and be entertained and surprised have our fun.

Could the Main Event Mafia Save TNA?

Matt Binks — Wed, 29 Oct 2008 19:46:04 -0400

TNA's Main Event Mafia storyline has been met with general derision from wrestling fans. On face value it looks like TNA management has bowed to the powers that be and created a stable in which veterans like Sting, Angle, and Kevin Nash can be pushed ahead of homegrown TNA talent like AJ Styles and Samoa Joe.

If this was to be the case then I agree that this storyline could merely act as a death nail in the TNA coffin.

Pushing stars like Booker T and Kurt Angle is really quite pointless. If this was who the wrestling public "really" wanted to see, then make no bones about it. They would still be in the WWE. Vince is no fool, with the exception of maybe Sting for a short run, none of these guys would be on Vince's wish list anymore.

Considering that TNA are trying to build themselves as a legitimate contender to the WWE, should guys who are not considered "big league" anymore by the WWE really be getting huge pushes?

There is another possible way this could go. Handled well, this could be a masterstroke.

By clubbing these veterans together, you eliminate the chances of veteran vs veteran main events. No Angle Vs Sting, No Booker vs Nash, etc. If these guys can't fight each other, then who do they fight?

This is where TNA's "real" stars will get there chance. Led by the likes of Joe and AJ, Lethal and Daniels, the homegrown talent will be facing the mafia, thus giving them back the main events and pushes they deserve.

One person who could be crucial to the development of this story is Christian Cage. I don't think he fits into either camp. He is without doubt still a wrestler who would be welcomed back by the WWE. Athletically he is superb, and not many characters in either organisation are as good on the mike as Cage. If Christian is still given his chance to shine, and is involved heavily in the feud, then I have no doubts it can work.

The other question that needs answering, is whether or not the Main Event Mafia are willing to put over their younger opponents. History would suggest not, however I think this is the perfect chance for all of them to show how willing they are to support the good of the company.

Let's hope so.

When Fans Cross The Line: Mocking Tragedies Has No Place Here

Matt Binks — Sat, 20 Sep 2008 20:00:38 -0400

I recently wrote an article entitled 10 reason to hate Manchester United. It was intented as a lighthearted joke, for amusement purposes. Some of my reasons included Gary Neville and the song "glory glory Man United".

I got a lot of comments which were widely expected—I was bitter, I was jealous, I was Scouse, so therefore, I was thick. I have these time and time again and they do not bother me. As a United fan you have the right to accuse me of being jealous, just like I can accuse you of jealousy becasue of our five European cups.

The fact is, when you think about it hard, we are both right. We are jealous of each other. We wouldnt be where we are in the footballing world if we weren't.

This banter is the reason I wrote the article, to stimulate interest.

Instead I appear to have brought out the one reason why I really do hate Manchester United—and Liverpool too.

A unknown writer (to me) responded to my article with nine reasons to hate Liverpool. Eight of these were fine—and one of them poked fun at the Hillsborough disaster. I was called a lot of things on my own articles comments board, none of which offended me.... And then somebody wrote 96 was not enough. Referring of course to those who died.

You people have no place in football, you have no place on the Bleacher report. Do you find families dying in fires amusing? Did you find the aids epidemic a bit of a laugh?

Some Liverpool fans are just as bad. I am well aware that Munich songs have been sung at Anfield. This shames me, and my reply is the same. You have no place in football. You are scum.

If I thought my article was going to stimulate this sort of response I would not have bothered. You really are fucking dickheads if you think that the majority of the people on here want to read the bile and shit coming out of your mouth.

This applies to Man U fans, to Liverpool fans, to everybody. Tragedy has nothing to do with football, leave your hatred and ignorance in the miserable little world you have created for yourself.

10 More Reasons to Hate Manchester United

Matt Binks — Thu, 18 Sep 2008 17:51:01 -0400

.................. Just kidding folks.

10 Reasons to Hate Manchester United.

Matt Binks — Tue, 16 Sep 2008 21:15:36 -0400

This article is not intended to offend Manchester United fans. However, If I succeed in doing so then that it is bonus!

This is a light hearted view of why I dislike Manchester United.

Saying that, Manure fans tend to get a bit tetchy so I very much look forward to being called a name or two.

So where do you begin with an article like this? There are literally millions of reasons to hate Manchester United. I would need a publisher and a wrist support to list them all. That being said I will keep it down to just 10,000. I mean 10.

1. Old Trafford

Fair enough it is a decent ground. I was fairly impressed the first time I had to visit. But the Theatre of Dreams??? There is nothing worse then somebody giving themselves a nickname, imagine if one of your friends suddenly started asking you to call him Eagle or Mr Love, you would hate him.

Make no mistake about it, this sickening nickname was not given by a neutral fan, it was given by some sad little man trying to compensate for the fact that the ground, even with its huge capacity, has no real atmosphere.

2. Come On You Reds

This abomination of a pop record was released in 1995 I think. It mixed Manchester United with Status quo...Surely that is enough. Highlights from this musical gem include the lyrics, "Come on you reds, come on you reds, just keep your bottle and use your heads" and "So Old Trafford let us hear you loud.Sing us on and we will do you proud".

Its sickening. The Anfield Rap was also a terrible song, but at least John Barnes rapping was funny!

3. Mr Ferguson's Timekeeping Skills

Mr Ferguson last year had the balls to note that Arsenal seemed to score a lot of goals late on in games. I seem to remember when Utd won one of their first championships that Steve Bruce scored a winning goal on the Monday morning after a Saturday kick-off, such was the amount of injury time.

Seriously, people have died waiting for Utd games to finish, the only reason ticket prices are so high at Old Trafford is that you are guaranteed 15 minutes extra football every game.

Unless they are winning of course, in which the whistle is usually blown around the 87th minute mark.

4. Merchandise

The only Utd merchandise i have ever bought is Manchester Utd official toilet paper...for obvious reasons.

I will give one example of why I hate the Manchester Utd merchandise machine. I live in Thailand, where they have a strong love of their King. People purchase yellow polo shirts with the Kings crest to show their love. I was looking at one such polo shirt in a shop a while back. The shirt was indistinguishable from all over polo shirts apart from one small detail. The label read an official Manchester United product...now not much can make me surprised about Utd—but cashing in on a nations love for its monarch takes the piss!

5. The Kits

Its common nowadays for teams to have a few different strips, however it was Utd I think who first had the idea of a European away fourth choice reserve goalkeeping commemorative left sock, only to be used when playing teams from the Balkan states idea, in order to cash in with gullible fans.

Look for it on Ebay, its right next to the Wayne Rooney hairgrow products and Gary Neville's razors, the ones that don't quite manage to shave of your stupid rat tash.

6. Penalty Decisions

I once saw the Neville brothers kick a player to the ground in the penalty box and repeatedly punch the man in the face. He was booked for diving. Okay, okay, I may be exaggerating a little, but you have to admit that referees get very nervous and seem to forget how to make decisions when near the penalty area at Old Trafford.

7. No.7's

Fair enough, Bestie and Robson deserve a little respect. But Cantona and in particular Ronaldo are arrogant scum bags. Neither come close to Best's talent and both acted like they were the greatest thing to have happened to the club.

When you're not even the greatest player to grace your own number you should probably be a little more humble.

8. The FA Cup

The fact that Utd pulled out of the Cup is shocking in itself. The fact that they did it as holders makes it worse. No bigger blow has been landed to the most famous cup competition in the world. Make no mistake about it, Utd's decision to play in some mickey mouse competition was motivated purely by greed. They did it to sell shirts.

I was delighted when they got soundly hammered by the champions of Panama or whoever it was beat them.

9. Three European Cups

I dislike the number three. I mean, it's just not five is it.

10. Gary Neville

I could write a list like this purely on Gary Neville. I hate the man. He is a good footballer. But I hate the man.

I hate his 1980's hairdo, I hate his rat tash, I hate his complete lack of personality, I hate his brother. I even hate his sister because she shares the same surname as him. I especially hate his dad because he has the word Neville in his name...twice!

So there we have it. I await your positive feedback!

Why Liverpool FC Will Ensure That I Suffer Eternal Damnation

Matt Binks — Sun, 07 Sep 2008 18:56:17 -0400

As I have recently turned another year older, I have started to think how I will be judged, as a person, and as a football fan. I suppose, whether you are religious or not, that the spectre of Him upstairs is always ever present.

This being said, I thought I would take a look at how following Liverpool may be judged against the word of god and his 10 commandments. I can't say that I'm happy with the findings:

1. You shall have no other Gods but me.

2. You shall not make for yourself any idol, nor bow down to it or worship it.

3. You shall not misuse the name of the Lord your God.

The first three all seem a little bit similar to me, so I will take them all as one collective unit. Oh dear, oh dear...I walked around for two seasons with "GOD 23" on the back of my football shirt. I still refer to Robbie Fowler as god.

Basically I completely idolised Robbie Fowler, would happily bow down to him in his prime and probably prayed to him to score on quite a few occasions. Does that make me a sinner? It would seem so.

4. You shall remember and keep the Sabbath day holy.

When I'm supposed to be being "holy" on a Sunday, I instead find myself stuck in front of the television watching football—often taking the Lord's name in vain. In fact my language in general when watching Liverpool is enough to condemn me.

The fact is church just isn't entertaining when compared to football! If the nativity was commentated by Andy Gray, with post-match analysis on the movement off the ball of the three wise men by Jamie Redknapp and Glenn Hoddle, then it might just be worth going.

5. Respect your father and mother.

I have to admit that I have been quite disrespectful to George Gillett (mummy) and Tom Hicks (daddy) the Liverpool owners. For a start they keep promising me they will build me a 70,000 capacity playing area on Stanley Park, but I never see any work being done.

Oh yes, and let's not forget that they refused to spend 18 million pounds on the new all action Gareth Barry action figure for me. At least I know they just want what is best for me...

Or maybe not.

6. You must not kill.

I'm going to go quite easy on myself here. I can honestly say I have never killed in the name of Liverpool. However, every time I see footage of Gary Neville celebrating in front of the Liverpool fans, or Rio Ferdinand full stop, I do feel quite angry and would not put murder beyond me!

7. You must not commit adultery.

Okay, okay, I admit it. I once went to watch Hull City play. It meant nothing to me, it was a huge mistake. It wasn't better, it was just, you know, different.

8. You must not steal.

I couldn't help but look into the faces of Middlesborough fans after Gerrard's recent last minute winner and feel like they had been robbed in some way. Although not personally responsible, I do feel I should be punished for celebrating a great deal and finding the whole thing quite hilarious.

9. You must not give false evidence against your neighbour.

10. You must not be envious of your neighbour's goods. You shall not be envious of his house nor his wife, nor anything that belongs to your neighbour.

I'm going to take the last two as one and summarise it as that you shouldn't be jealous or nasty to your neighbour.

I still to this day refuse to accept Manchester United as a football team. They are a corporate killing machine with world domination in mind. They must be stopped, and Mr Ferguson (Sir my arse) should be locked away...

And yes, I am jealous as hell of the fact that they are the Premier League and European champions and definitely covet half of their squad. The bastards.

So there you have it. Pretty much 10 from 10. This means I am all but guaranteed an eternity in Hell. Or as I like to call it, watching highlights of Manchester United's greatest games DVD.

At least I know I wont' be alone. Check your own allegiances against the ultimate test.

I'm sure I will see you down there!

A wins a win. So far so good for Liverpool.

Matt Binks — Sat, 23 Aug 2008 19:27:11 -0400

Two games down and six points are in the bag for Liverpool, the only time they have started with two wins since Benitez took over. It is fair to say that Liverpool have been far from the best in the opening two fixtures, and yet in this writers opinion, that is possibly as exciting as if they had started the season with two 4-0 victories.

The defence seems solid enough. Jose Reina is right up there with Petr Cech and Edwin Van der Sar. In Martin Skrtel, Daniel Agger, Hyypia and Jamie Carradonna they have as solid a central defense as any team in Europe. New signing Dossena looks a bit off the pace but when he adapts to the pace of the Premier League I think he will prove a decent signing.

Dirk Kuyt is as industrial as ever, but still seems to be lacking a bit of creativity. Yossi Benayoun was awful against Middlesbrough and will need to raise his game to repay Benitez's faith in him. Steven Gerrard's injury plagued pre season has left him only 70% fit, the shambles of an international during the week did him no favors either.

The form of Xabi Alonso has been one plus point, he seems to becoming the one Liverpool player able to do the impossible... prove our American owners right. 18 million pounds on Gareth Barry is scandalous when we have Alonso in any sort of form.

Up front, 20milliom man Robbie Keane looks a little shell shocked to be finally a Liverpool player, I have no doubts at all about his quality and I'm sure it's only a matter of time before the money is repaid. The other Spanish kid up front look decent too. Whilst Torres hasn't started on fire, he proved againt Sunderland that he barely needs a chance to win games.

We also will welcome back our Olympians next week, and it doesn't matter who you are, adding Lucas Leiva, Ryan Babel and especially Javier Mascherano to your squad is a huge huge plus.

So to summarise, Liverpool have played awfully... And yet have won both games. This is a major positive to reds fans. Last season it was exactly this sort of games that cost us the league.

We dropped points at home against Birmingham, Wigan, Aston Villa and Tottenham in games we should have won. We lost fewer games than Manchester Utd last season so these draws cost us dearly. If we now have that extra bit of bottle and fortune to win these games, then maybe, just maybe, number 19 will be on its way home.

YNWA

Tigerhearts: The story you won't have heard

Matt Binks — Tue, 12 Aug 2008 00:04:24 -0400

This Saturday marks the beginning of the Premier League season. Whilst this is always a huge date in any clubs calendar, for Hull City it is the biggest day in the clubs history.

This Saturday marks the end of the long running title as the biggest city in Europe never to have a top tier football club.

This is an amazing achievement made even more amazing by the fact that only seven years ago, I as a Hull lad, attended Hull City's "last ever game" against Swansea on a freezing Friday night. I remember nothing of the game, only the thousands of "we'll support you ever more" banners displayed before kick off and the tears of an elderly gentleman stood behind me.

This was real. City had been locked out of the ground by some wanker of an ex-tennis player who's name I will not even mention (I will only say, next time you want to get in shape, choose your gym wisely) and were to be liquidised as a club the following Monday.

Miraculously local businessmen managed to find the funds necessary to save "City Hull."

The businessmen ceremoniously awarded the club with a bell, on the instructions that it should not be rang until the day the Tigers make their bow in the Premier League. Saturday is that day.

Whilst this is an amazing story in itself there is, to me, an even more amazing story behind this. A football one.

Peter Taylor, Adam Pearson, Phil Brown and Dean Windass all deserve huge praise for what they contributed to the rise of Hull but the person I want to thank will not be known to many people who read and write on this site. He won't be known to many people full stop. Step forward Warren Joyce.

At the beginning of 1999 Hull found themselves in an awful situation. Ex Rangers and England striker Mark Hateley had led them to nine points adrift at the bottom of the football league. The chairman had already set in motion the event that would lead to the near closure the following year. It was simple, if Hull went down they would be finished.

Hateley departed and was replaced by the clubs journeyman midfielder Warren Joyce. What occurred next was nothing short of remarkable.

Joyce and a rag tag bunch of unwanted professionals including ex bouncer Gary Brabin and St Lucian international Colin Alcide, produced the greatest second half of a season I have ever seen. From being a team unable to win a game, the Tigers became unbeatable, Boothferry Park became a fortress and the team grew and grew with every one nil victory achieved.

The run was so good that if the season had started at Christmas, Hull City would have been promoted automatically.

Joyce was ridiculously sacked by City and replaced by Brian Little. This move disgusted me and I went to being a season pass holder to never again watching my home town club. A move I will not perform a U turn on, Premier League or not.

Joyce's influence again helped Hull City last season. It was Joyce as Royal Antwerp coach who alerted City to Frazier Cambell. A man whose goals helped City to promotion last season.

When the bell is rang on Saturday and thanks are said to the likes of Adam Pearson and Phil Brown, I for one, away from the KC stadium, will be casting my thanks a little further.

Euro '08: For the Benefit of Mr. Kuyt—What a Show Last Night!

Matt Binks — Tue, 10 Jun 2008 00:57:14 -0400

Liverpool strikers have nowhere to hide. The constant reminders of King Kenny Dalglish, Kevin Keegan, Ian Rush, and Robbie Fowler hang over the heads of Liverpool's front men.

Fernando Torres has proven his worth with his goals and is the darling of the media. Dirk Kuyt has not had it this easy, but I don't know one Liverpool fan who can have a bad word against him.

Dirk Kuyt is the epitome of heart. He will give his absolute all for Liverpool and gains nothing but phrases like "ineffective", "toothless", and " disappointing" from the media. Lets just hope his performance against Italy last night will right some undoubted wrongs.

Kuyt last night was simply fantastic. His energy, his use of the ball, and work rate were unbelievable. He tracked back for nearly 90 minutes, helping out his fullbacks and never stopped running.

Holland's first and third goals were also perfect examples of what Kuyt brings to a team. For the first goal, his unwillingness to give up a lost cause forced Gianluigi Buffon into a mistake from which Holland capitalised and scored.

For the third, he got himself into a good position and instead of letting his head drop when his missing his chance, chased the ball and showed enough composure and vision to pick out Ed Van Bronkhurst.

Kuyt's work rate has never been questioned by his teammates. Fernando Torres lauds Kuyt's effort for the amount of space and time it awards him. Kuyt simply does the work of two or three men.

Marco Van Basten, one of the greatest strikers of all time, is also quick to point out the benefits of Kuyt.

Dirk Kuyt may not be the greatest goalscorer in the world. But simply put, he is a goalscorer's dream, the perfect foil for any striker.

Liverpool-Arsenal: Let the Battle Commence!

Matt Binks — Tue, 01 Apr 2008 05:50:38 -0400

With four English teams in the quarter final draw, it was perhaps inevitable we would have an all English tie, and the draw didn’t disappoint.

Arsenal vs Liverpool.

This is obviously a very interesting tie, if it was to be played in the Premier League I would probably make Arsenal favourites, however as this is a European tie I don’t think its as easily called.

So where will the match be won and lost?

Both defences are solid and not easily breeched so it is perhaps surprising that this fixture seems to produce a lot of goals.

In recent seasons we have seen Arsenal score three goals against Liverpool and even six last season.

The Liverpool back four will be entirely different though, this time around. The way Liverpool set their back four up means that any aerial bombardment is practically useless.

They are strong, powerful and very adept and used to this sort of attack, especially in European football. One thing they are not comfortable with however, is when teams play football in and around them.

Arsenal are possibly the best footballing side in Europe and the intricacy of their play, fashioned by Fabregas in the middle will cause Liverpool problems. That being said, Javier Mascherano will be deployed as protection and there perhaps isn’t a better player in Europe at doing this. How he plays is crucial to Liverpool stopping Arsenal.

Arsenal’s biggest problem is obviously Fernando Torres. His main strength is his pace and movement but I think in Toure and William Gallas, Arsenal have two players who are quick enough and clever enough to be able to deal with Torres, especially if they can isolate him.

It will be interesting to see how Arsenal’s back four cope with the presence of Steven Gerrard. Flamini will need to ensure he is sound defensively or Gerrard could run havoc. It might also be worth noting to see how Arsenal cope with Peter Crouch if he features, he has caused them many problems in the past.

The midfield battle is very crucial in any European game. In this game Fabregas and Flamini will go up against Steven Gerrard, Javier Mascherano and probably Xabi Alonso.

If the Liverpool midfield can get amongst the Arsenal midfield and stop the supply out wide, to Thomas Rosicky and Alexander Hleb, and up front to Adebayor and Robin Van Persie, they could find this game comfortable.

Similarly if given space and time, Alonso’s passing ability and Steven Gerrard's running could create openings for Liverpool. If Arsenal can stop this they could find Liverpool out.

In attack, I think Arsenal need to worry. Adebayor appears to have stopped scoring and Robin Van Persie is only just coming back to full fitness. Both of these players will need to be on scoring form for Arsenal to win.

If Fernando Torres plays well, the chances are he will score in the tie. If he doesn’t, or if Arsenal keep him on a tight leash, Liverpool will need big big performances form Dirk Kuyt and Ryan Babel.

I’m unsure of Kuyt's ability to come up with big goals, but I’ve had a feeling for a while that Ryan Babel has been looking for a stage to explode on. Could this be the one?

If Torres is kept quiet, and Liverpool can stop Arsenal from playing, two things which are a huge possibility, this game could come down to plan B’s.

In my opinion Arsenal don’t have one, they seem unable to play a British style of game and struggle when teams get amongst them in defence. If Mascherano can stop Fabregas I very much expect Jamie Carragher and Martin Skertl to cope with anything being played long into the box.

Liverpool could have the edge with Peter Crouch. For Arsenal to adapt from coping with Torres to the aerial presence of Crouch will be difficult for them.

This game will be tight and an away goal may prove crucial. Liverpool having the second leg at Anfield is a huge boost for them. Their fans except them to beat anybody at home in Europe and the players seem to acknowledge this with their performances.

Liverpool have the experience in this sort of occasion and I also feel they are a team currently built for success in Europe. The way their 4-2-3-1 attacking formation easily changes into a 4-5-1 defensive unit makes them extremely difficult to play against in Europe. If Liverpool can force the game to be played in this way they will win.

If Arsenal play the game they play week in week out, especially the way they played in the first half of the season, they could win.

This tie could go on to be a classic and an excellent advertisement for the Premiership. Its extremely hard to choose a winner, but I think Liverpool’s experience combined with the second leg being at Anfield may give them the edge.

But only just.

EPL: The Matt Binks All-Time Premiership 11!

Matt Binks — Tue, 01 Apr 2008 05:48:01 -0400

We have all been there. You're sat in your local drinking establishment, discussing your favourite this and that. With my friends a popular topic has always been, what would be your all time premiership 11.

I have spent many an hour thinking about this and I thought it about time that I share my opinions with everybody in the bleacher family.

Please don’t forget this is only my opinion! I look forward to hearing all of yours!

First off all the rules. Obviously all players have had to have played in the premiership… that’s about it.

An important point however, must be that the players are picked on their Premiership performances only, Ian Rush would be in any dream team I make but had played his best football before 1992. Same with Ruud Gullit.

So here we go!

Goalkeeper: David Seaman, Shay Given and Brad Friedel all came close, but in all honesty it could only be Peter Schmeichel.

His presence alone was worthy of his place. He was a fantastic shot stopper and comfortable with crosses. His best trait however, was his ability when in one on one situations. His size and speed across the ground reduced the angles for a striker to the degree that the huge Dane was always favourite to make the save. Just don’t mention Philip Albert...

Right back: I have chosen Gary Neville over the likes of Steve Finnan, Lee Dixon and Paul Parker.

As a Liverpool fan, this causes me much misery, but the fact is that he has been the best right back in the country for over 10 years. Fiercely determined, hard working and frighteningly dependable, Neville has been the lynchpin of many a Manchester United title winning team. His partnership with David Beckham in the late 1990’s was arguably the main reason for the treble success of 1999.

Left Back: In what was a tricky position I have gone for Graeme Le Saux.

Le Saux was known as one of the cleverest players to ply their trade in the Premiership and this was expressed on the pitch. Both at Blackburn, where he won a title, and later with Chelsea he was a cultured and very talented player both in defence and attack. Strong in the tackle, Le Saux also had an exceptionally good left foot which was put to good use on set pieces.

Centre Half: I wanted two contrasting players in my central defence. I wanted a cultured, ball playing, classy centre half, and a tough uncompromising player, who defends like his life depends on it. Tony Adams, John Terry and Colin Hendry all come close but I have plumped for Jamie Carragher.

Anfield, according to the song, dreams of a team of Carraghers and it’s easy to see why. Carragher hates not only conceding goals, but also the ball being in his area. There probably hasn’t been a more committed defender in the Premiership.

Centre Half: Controversially I have chosen Paul McGrath as my second centre half. This despite his many problems.

It can be argued that McGrath only ever had one good season in the Premiership, in 1993/94, but for this one year alone he is in my team. In this year there probably wasn’t a better footballer, let alone defender, in the WORLD. He was that good.

Effortlessly quick, and yet he hardly needed to run. McGrath could read a game better then any other player on the pitch. Alex Ferguson once claimed it was frightening how good McGrath could have been. Despite never training whilst at Aston Villa, the man who famously marked Alan Shearer whilst drunk, warrants his place.

Right wing: Christiano Ronaldo.

The best player in the world by a long way. The amount of goals he has scored already during his time in England puts him above the likes of David Beckham, Robert Pires and Andrei Kanchelskis. He will only get better... Frightening.

Central Midfield: Steven Gerrard.

Gerrard's, energy, drive and commitment are unquestionable, but people often forget that Gerrard can pass a ball as good as most players, and chips in with a fair share of goals. He carried a poor Liverpool team to Champions League football in 2004 and is the man to give the ball to when under pressure and needing something to happen.

Central Midfield: My rock in the middle of the park, and my captain is Roy Keane. Keane was undoubtedly Alex Ferguson’s most important signing.

He dominated teams, scared the life out of opponents, and set an example to his team mates with his attitude and hard work. His sometimes questionable disciplinary record may heave let him down but what he brought to Manchester United was irreplaceable. If they had Roy Keane now, with Ronaldo, Rooney and others running around him, I couldn’t imagine them dropping a point.

Left Wing: Ryan Giggs was probably the easiest choice to make in my entire team. Since making his debut in what seems to be about 1957, Giggs has consistently performed to an exceptional standard.

As a youngster his mazy dribbles and goals were outstanding, and as he has got older and the legs have got that little bit slower, his footballing brain and technique have ensured he is still a very important part of the Manchester United team. Giggs is quite simply the model professional footballer.

Strikers: For my forward pairing I again wanted contrasts. I wanted a player who did his best work in the box and another who could could come deeper and collect the ball from the midfield and create chances for himself. My fox in the box is Alan Shearer.

The Premier Leagues leading marksman was the perfect example of a number nine. His finishing was at worst clinical and at best unbelievable. Shearer scored goals for fun, everywhere he went. His goals won a title for a Blackburn side that on paper wasn’t good enough to win a title. The fact that this is his only trophy is an absolute crime for a man who was quite simply the best goal scorer the Premiership has ever seen.

Striker: My second striker’s role was a very hard choice. Many players could easily have made it. Gianfranco Zola, Dennis Bergkamp and Eric Cantona came closest, but I have selected Thierry Henry.

Henry has been chosen simply for the fact that he could score from literally anywhere. Right foot, left foot, from 25-yard, tap ins, solo goals, Henry could do the lot.

Just compare his goal against Tottenham where he raced 45 yards to score, with his cheeky backheel against Charlton, and now picture him flicking the ball up with one foot before burying the ball form 25-yards with the other against Manchester United.

Henry was pure excitement, he oozed arrogance and rightly so. He was a blessing to the English game.

So there we have it. What a team.

A solid defence with full backs who can get forward. Defenders who are comfortable on the ball and willing to bring the ball out out and create attacks. A central midfield that is interchangeable, with both players able to hold in midfield and protect the back four, whilst also able to get forward, support the attack and score goals.

My wide players are both speedy players with excellent skill. They are both very capable of beating the man and getting crosses in, and would contribute many goals themselves. My forward line is simply filled with goals. Imagine how you would try and cope with Shearer with Henry lurking alongside him.

Nightmare!

There are obviously many players who didn’t get in this side. Please don’t forget this is my opinion before you blast me for not selecting, Zola, Ginola or Ade Akininyi.

I very much look forward to hearing your feedback and your own all time Premiership 11’s.

Liverpool FC: What's Next?

Matt Binks — Fri, 28 Mar 2008 08:42:45 -0400

As we enter the final run in at the end of the season, Liverpool find themselves in an all too familiar position. Effectively out of the title race by February, they are fighting with Everton to keep their place in the “Big 4”, in a footballing sense at least. The league cup campaign ended with a nothing performance at Chelsea, and the FA cup campaign ended with a humiliating defeat at home to the mighty Barnsley. Lets not forget that Liverpool also needed a replay to dispose of Luton and came from behind twice to overcome Havant and Waterlooville. There is however, a very realistic chance that the Champions league could yet provide Liverpool with a happy ending to this season.

I am writing this article now because if Liverpool do win the Champions league the truth may be dusted under the carpet. The fact is Liverpool need a LOT of work if they are to finally end the 19 year drought.

So what has been the problem? Boardroom soap operas haven’t helped at all, but football is played on grass and Liverpool simply haven’t been good enough. Injury to Daniel Agger cost Liverpool what was proving to be their best defender. Steve Finnan, Fabio Aurelio and Alvaro Arbeloa have been in and out of fitness, as have Jermaine Pennant and Harry Kewell. These injuries however are not good enough excuses for such a poor showing.

In this writers opinion the position Liverpool are in is down to one thing. There isn’t a referee’s vendetta against them, they aren’t injury plagued and there isn’t a shooter behind a grassy knoll. There is no conspiracy. They simply aren’t good enough.

But they should be.

Starting at the back, Jose Reina is as good as any keeper in the premiership at the minute. His clean sheet record speaks for itself. Jamie Carragher and Daniel Agger (if fit) have the makings of a fantastic partnership, and the new signing Skrtel looks so far to be an able deputy. The full back positions are a little trickier. The formerly unmoveable Steve Finnan looks past his best, injuries and age seem to be catching up with a player who until last year was one of the most impressive and consistent defenders in the premiership. Arbeloa is an exciting prospect and I think he will go on to make the right back slot his own. The lef t hand side is in need of a complete overhaul. John Arne Riise is a shadow of his former self. Fabio Aurelio has shown glimpses of quality but nowhere near enough to warrant a regular place. Neither of the two are great when defending, and their attacking prowess, of which both are supposedly renowned for, has been almost non existent. This is an area that desperately needs new blood. The young and hugely exciting young Argentinean Insua, currently plying his trade in the reserve team, could be the answer to this problem.

Liverpool have excellent midfielders in the centre. Javier Mascherano has been a revelation this season and Lucas Leiva will go on to be a fantastic player for the club. There are still some question marks over Xabi Alonso however, though I believe that if he continues to play alongside Mascherano he will regularly get the space in which to play. This is when Alonso is at his best. Steven Gerrard is obviously quality and his loyalty, commitment and ability should not be questioned. One question mark that remains with Liverpool’s central midfield is what happens when Mascherano is missing? Lucas and Alonso have played together only a handful of times and haven’t looked anywhere near comfortable.

The attacking wide players in Liverpool’s squad is, in my opinion, another area where they let themselves down. Ryan Babel has been fantastic in the last few months, but other than him what have Liverpool got? They certainly don’t have the depth of talent Manchester Utd have, through Ryan Giggs, Nani, Anderson, and that other kid, I think they call him Ronaldo…Thomas Rosicky, and Alexander Hleb at Arsenal, and Florent Malouda, Shaun Wright- Philips and Joe Cole at Chelsea, would also all easily walk into Liverpool’s side. Yossi Bennayoun is a decent squad player, but is he Liverpool class? The question remains. Harry Kewell and Jermaine Pennant are simply not good enough. Nowhere near. Kewell should have been, but injuries really have ruined who should have been a fantastic Liverpool player.

The strikers role is one that again highlights Liverpool’s lack of quality depth. Fernando Torres is the most exciting number 9 have had in 7 years and could go on to score goals by the bagful. Rafa Benitez was criticised for resting Torres early in the season, but Wayne Rooney has been rested far more often this season. Why has Sir Alex not been criticised like Benitez has? Simple. Where Ferguson can bring in Carlos Tevez, Liverpool cannot. Benitez claimed he wanted to rest Torres so he was fit when the business end of the season set in. His recent form surely is a testament that Benitez was right. Unfortunately if you take away “El Nino” Liverpool woefully lack goals. Peter Crouch, whilst possibly unfortunate to be on the bench so often, doesn’t fit in the way Benitez likes his team to play. I do feel he is a useful squad player though. A plan B if you like. Voronin isn’t good enough and then there’s Dirk Kuyt. Kuyt is a player I, as a Liverpool fan, am very fond of. His workrate and commitment is appreciated and respected by team-mates and fans alike. He has been forced to perform in a thankless dogsbody role which has not brought out any of the talents he DOES possess. Despite these things I honestly believe he has to move on now, he simply hasn’t scored the goals he should. This possibly isn’t his fault though, and it will be a sad day if he was to leave because he is adored in Liverpool.

So there we have it. In Reina, Carragher, Mascherano, Gerrard and Torres, Liverpool have the spine of a team as good as any in Europe. In fact when on form Liverpool’s best 11 could compete with any team in the world. But the supporting cast needs a complete overhaul. Out must go Hyypia, Riise, Aurelio, Kewell, Pennant, Voronin and unfortunately probably Kuyt. In must come a quality left back, a midfielder with real creative brilliance. They need at least one, if not two quality wide players, ones with real pace who can run at players and frighten the lives out of them. They also need a striker who can take away some of the burden currently held by Torres.

Mangers are often judged on the players they bring in, however Benitez could possibly be criticised for players he has allowed out to leave Anfield. In Stephen Warnock, now at Blackburn, Liverpool had a strong defender with a vastly improving attacking game. He was also a committed homegrown talent, I’ve always believed that players give that little extra 1% when playing for their home team.

Creativity and brilliance has been shockingly absent from Liverpool this season, but a huge gap in the team could have been filled by a diminutive talent. Liverpool have unquestionably missed Luis Garcia. His flair, imagination, not forgetting his knack of scoring important goals, has simply not been replaced.

Us Liverpool fans should not kid ourselves. We aren’t one or two players away form the title, we are 5 or 6 away. Hopefully whoever is in charge upstairs will provide funds to get these players. This, like everything else at boardroom level is surrounded in doubt. Folks, please stay tuned for the next episode of LFC the soap opera!

I have a sneaky suspicion and no small amount of hope that one or two of these players might come from the reserve side. There is without doubt heaps of talent within the reserve ranks and we can only hope some of this will be nurtured.

The last question is the manager. Is Benitez the right man for the job? The Beatles once sang “Boy you’ve got to carry that weight” Benitez is carrying perhaps the biggest of footballing heavyweights on his back, he has a HUGE job still to do. In my opinion he has already greatly improved us, but can he finish the job?

There is a saying in the red half of Merseyside and it should be followed to the end.

In Rafa we trust.

AFC Liverpool: Is Big Brother Watching?

Matt Binks — Wed, 19 Mar 2008 06:56:06 -0400

It has been recently revealed in the British press that some fans of Liverpool Football Club have formed a breakaway football club—AFC Liverpool.

Unlike AFC Wimbledon (formed amidst the fury of Milton Keynes stealing an entire football club) and FC United (formed by Manchester United fans unhappy with the Malcolm Glazer ownership), AFC Liverpool have not been created due to disagreements with club decisions and ownership.

They have been formed merely to give the next generation of football fans a true sense of what it is to support a football club.

The simple and sad fact is that football, particularly for premier league fans, has become a very expensive pastime. The age old tradition of working class fathers taking their wide-eyed sons and daughters to see their heroes is becoming as outdated as Bovril and rattles.

A lot of parents simply can’t afford to take their children to games anymore. This has led to an alarming reduction in the numbers of children attending matches.

Statistics now show that the average age of a premier league fan actually attending matches has risen to 43.

The vast quantities of matches shown on television, combined with the extreme exposure of football in the media, means that young fans will still follow teams in massive numbers.

The good news for clubs is that this means they will still buy the shirts and commemorative mugs every time their team reaches a cup fifth round!

But is it really fair that young fans can believe themselves to be true fans of football, though they've never had the opportunity to soak up match day atmosphere?

This obviously isn’t their fault. To some degree it isn’t even the fault of the clubs. Football has grown so big that clubs simply cannot afford to be left behind.

The majority of fans scream for big signings such as Fernando Torres at Liverpool, or Wayne Rooney at Manchester United. But these players are not cheap. The financial truth is that this is leaving many numbers of true fans behind.

For this reason alone AFC Liverpool has my full backing. I think it is a fantastic idea.

Kids and adults alike will now have the opportunity to attend real matches. To sit along with their friends and watch the beautiful game in person.

It might not have the glamour of Anfield, but football can amaze and entertain from World Cup finals to kickabouts in the park. After all, that is the game's true quality.

More Liverpool fans can now watch football games without financial worry. They can also do it without feeling the guilt of supporting another club.

AFC Liverpool are hardly going to cause their Big Brothers any trouble plying their trade in the Vodkat North West Counties League Division Two!

My hope is that Liverpool recognize and support their new club. It is, after all, their fans who are behind it.

Giving kids the opportunity to fall in love with football again is crucial to the development of the game in England.

It's getting harder and harder to become the new Steven Gerrard, and this can deter some youung fans. It is certainly easier for them to imagine themselves playing in in the Vodkat North West County league.

If more kids have realistic goals to aim for, then the next step could see more and more Rooneys and Gerrards coming through.

Let's hope so.

Liverpool FC: Place Your Bets

Matt Binks — Tue, 11 Mar 2008 07:57:06 -0400

DIC in talks! Hicks says he will not sell! The Pope in shock move for LFC!

Yawn, yawn, yawn.

For a few moments I'll ignore "Liverpool Football Club—The Soap Opera" and instead make the controversial choice to discuss Liverpool's other activity.

Errr...football.

Although it hasn't been a great season by our own expectations, the fact is we are still (at the time of this writing anyway) in a healthy position in the Champions League and involved in a crucial race for the European Cup place for next season.

This will not be easy, as Everton has a team seemingly built for scrapping out results in dire games.

Players like Lee Carsley, Phil Neville, and Tony Hibbert can scrap with the best of them. Then you have Tim Cahill, Andy Johnson, the impressive Michael Arteta, and the formidable Yakubu—all players with flair and the ability to win matches.

This being said, I still expect Liverpool to qualify. The upcoming derby will be crucial, as will the away games at the Emirates and Old Trafford, but come season's end I think Liverpool will be there—comfortably.

I have identified five key reasons why this is possible:

1. The front-line partnership

It's only taken Rafa Benitez until March to realize that Dirk Kuyt, Peter Crouch, and Andriy Voronin are not the answers to the "Who should partner Fernando Torres?" question.

The answer all along was that Torres can do it alone!

Well, not quite.

By playing Gerrard in the free role behind Torres, Benitez is utilizing his two most potent weapons, in tandem, in the most crucial area of the pitch. The partnership has produced masses of goals and has drawn comparisons to the likes of Keegan/Toshack or Ian Rush/King Kenny Dalglish.

2. Ryan Babel

The young Dutchman seems to have settled into the English game with terrifying results. He has made himself almost undroppable now, and is adding a vital weapon to what was a faltering Liverpool arsenal.

3. The holding midfield

The formation currently favored by Rafa Benitez requires two holding midfielders to play behind the three more attacking midfielders chosen to support Torres.

In Javier Mascherano, Xavi Alonso and the gifted Lucas Leiva, Benitez has three ideally suited players. Usually it's Mascherano and one of the other two.

The dirty, unpopular, but greatly appreciated work Mascherano does gives all the time and space in the world to whomever plays at his side.

Players of Alonso's and Leiva's abilities will thrive in this space and time and have the potential to pass the opposition to death.

4. Jamie Carragher

Put simply, Carragher has been immense. The one-man defense will give every fiber of energy in his body for the Liverpool cause. I'd never bet against any team with Carragher in the ranks.

5. Experience

In a run in like this, every game is a potential cup final. Liverpool has the players with the experience of these types of games. Everton do not.

In Benitez, Liverpool has a manager who can pick out weaknesses in any opposition. Tactically he makes David Moyes, the Everton boss, look like a Sunday league coach. This experience and knowledge will be crucial in the coming race.

To summarize, I predict this article to be abused by most non-Liverpool fans.

But more importantly, I predict Liverpool to finish above their Blue-nosed neighbors by a minimum of six points.

Liverpool Football Club: A Plea for Decency

Matt Binks — Sun, 20 Jan 2008 12:50:40 -0500

When Tom Hicks and George Gillett rode into Liverpool on their golden gift horse, fans were justifiably optimistic.

Finally, it seemed, we had the financial backing to compete with Manchester United and Chelsea.

Funding was in place for a new stadium, and the new owners, clad in Liverpool scarves for every photo opportunity, seemed to genuinely love the club.

The greatest compliment you could give the two Americans was that they managed to convince David Moores, the former Liverpool chairman, to part with the club. Mr. Moores was undoubtedly one of Liverpool's greatest supporters, and for him to sell the club he held so dear must have required some convincing talk from Mr. Hicks and Mr. Gillett.

I think it is safe to say now that Mr. Moores, like the rest of us, was fooled.

Fast forward to today. Liverpool fans are on the eve of a mass protest against the two owners. At Anfield in the past, this would have been unimaginable.

Graeme Souness, Roy Evans and even Gerard Houllier all failed to give this club what they craved the most, the league title, and yet none were protested against, none were hounded out.

Liverpool fans crave trophies probably more than any other club's supporters, and yet they have never resorted to calling for a manager or owners head. There is one main reason for that—respect.

There is a respect around Liverpool football club that is unmatched by most football teams—in fact, by most sporting teams in the world. Every single away goalkeeper is applauded when they take their place in the goal at the Kop end. Former players are applauded and their names sung when they reappear at Anfield.

I am not just talking about legends like Hamman and Fowler either. I have been at Anfield and heard chants and songs about, amongst others, Bolo Zenden, Erik Meijer, Igor Biscan, and even Rigobert Song.

None of these players were considered great successes during their time at Anfield, but still their efforts are appreciated and Liverpool fans are quick to show this. We appreciate effort and we appreciate honesty.

When Mr. Hicks approached Jurgen Klinsman about the managerial role at Liverpool, he signalled the end of his time at Anfield. His conduct is nothing short of a disgrace. He has shown incredible disrespect to Rafa Benitez, he has shown incredible disrespect to the players who perform for Benitez, and he has shown incredible disrespect to the fans who sing his name week in week out.

Liverpool is undoubtedly in the midst of a storm right now, but the golden sky of which we sing every week will always be there, because the followers of this great club will not let ourselves be tarnished and ripped apart by these men who have no interest in the city of Liverpool, no interest in our history, and no interest in football.

The great Bill Shankly famously claimed that football was more important than life and death—and in Liverpool at least, those words still hold sway.

Many banners will be paraded at Anfield tomorrow night, and many songs will be sung. The message will be clear though, and that message is simple.

Mr. Hicks, Mr. Gillett—turn your horses around, and get out of our club.