Bleacher Report - Articles by Majesh Abraham

Chicago Cubs: Curse of the Gatorade Dispenser?

Majesh Abraham — Wed, 08 Jul 2009 15:08:41 -0400

Fans of any other team would have surely have blown a gasket, be stunned in utter disbelief or curse their luck if they had heard that one of their best pitchers fractured his toe jumping over the dugout railing while celebrating a victory.

But I didn't even flinch. No double take, no ghastly expression of shock, no emotion whatsoever.

Why the utter disregard, you ask?

Well, as a longtime Cubs fan, you get used to these kind of things. It's hard to explain. This state is only something you acquire through years of following the Cubs every day.

Cubs fans don't share the woe-is-me/fear the worst mentality that pre-2004 Red Sox fans did. That's why they were so angry back then and we're considered the lovable losers.

Some people call this being fair weather. But how does having a TO-esque meltdown at everything that goes wrong make you a die-hard fan?

It doesn't. A veteran Cubs fan just rolls with the punches, because they've been through this before.

From Sammy Sosa sneezing his back out to Mike Remlinger spraining his finger because he got it stuck between two recliners while lounging in the clubhouse. Don't forget Carlos Zambrano hurting his elbow due to too much time spent on his laptop, or Kyle Farnsworth injuring his knee while kicking an electric fan.

If we haven't seen it before, we will in our lifetime. Cubs fans never state that they've seen everything that could go wrong, because we are sure that the next thing that does go wrong will be unique.

That's why the only Cubs fans you'll see kicking and screaming are recent inductees, bandwagon jumpers, or White Sox fans looking for a laugh.

Sure, it's bad news for the team that Ryan Dempster will miss a month, right when the team was finally healthy and poised to make a charge for the mediocre NL Central crown.

But what goes around comes around, Dempster. That's what you get for beating up a defenseless Gatorade dispenser.

Wait a minute!

Big Z (Zambrano), who also inflicted punishment on the poor machine, is is having a terrible year by his standards.

Could we be looking at the genesis of a whole new curse on the Cubs?

The curse of the Gatorade dispenser!

Relax Cubs fans—only paranoid idiots believe in curses like the Billy Goat Curse or think that blowing up the Bartman ball will lead to better luck.

Unfortunate events are just part of Cubdom.

There hasn't been enough unfortunate events linked to this dispenser to even merit labeling it as a curse.

At least, wait 'til next year.

New Galacticos Will Be Must See TV: But What Formation Will Madrid Use?

Majesh Abraham — Wed, 08 Jul 2009 00:04:32 -0400

Now that all the wheeling and dealing is complete or is supposed to be complete, considering the two player Madrid really wants are surprisingly out of its price range, let's take a look at Real's most pressing issue.

What formation will Manuel Pellegrini use to accommodate the enormous amount of talent accumulated at the Santiago Bernabeu?

To make things easier, let's assume as all the reports claim that the Dutch contingent will be gone next year, including winger Arjen Robben and midfielder Wesley Sneijder.

Also, the legendary Raul will be in the starting eleven if healthy in spite of what the critics say. Benzema will also likely start alongside Raul as there is pressure to recoup the investment shown in him and showcase all the "Galacticos" in the squad.

First up, the 4-1-2-1-2

Torres-Pepe-Albiol-Ramos

Diarra

Marcelo - Ronaldo

Kaka

Benzema-Raul

This formation would be ideal if Robben is kept, but Marcelo has proven himself as a capable left-winger. This also keeps the two main galacticos, Ronaldo and Kaka, in their preferred positions. It provides the team with great width, but leaves them weak defensively in the center of the pitch.

Thus, playing this formation against Barcelona would be treacherous as the Blaugrana would be able to hold a chokehold on possession in the midfield.

Next, let's take a look at Pellegrini's preffered 4-4-2 formation.

Marcelo-Albiol-Pepe-Ramos

Guti - Diarra

Kaka - Ronaldo

Benzema-Raul

This is more of a 4-2-2-2, featuring Kaka and Ronaldo as attacking midfielders, and relying on fullbacks to provide the width. Marcelo and Ramos love to play up the field, so this formation would be tailored to their attacking mentality.

Diarra provides the steel in the midfield, while Guti supplies the ball to the plethora of attacking talent in front of him. Guti gets the nod ahead of Gago and the double-pivot, because Madrid fans are demanding attacking football, though the option remains when Madrid are trying to protect a lead.

Ronaldo and Kaka would be given free roles, allowing them to interchange positions. This formation would provide them with ample room to showcase their immense talents. Thus its success would hinge on the relationship developed between Ronaldo and Kaka, and whether they can learn to play with each other.

4-3-3 ("Barcelona-lite")

Marcelo-Albiol-Pepe-Ramos

Diarra

Guti - Kaka

Benzema- Raul- Ronaldo

A neutral fan's dream as this would place the individual talents of El Clasico in direct comparison. Ronaldo v. Messi, Kaka v. Iniesta, Benzema v. Henry, Ramos v. Alves, Guti v. Xavi.

If their playing the same position, it would allow you to finally judge these individuals against each other and determine who is the best.

Just thinking about El Clasico being played with this formation makes my mouth water, as this game would feature non-stop attack-minded football.

BUT, this dream will never come true, as Pellegrini is too conservative to feature such an attacking formation. But a man can dream right?

Verdict: Barring the addition of Franck Ribery, the most likely formation will be the modified 4-4-2 (4-2-2-2). It allows the most flexibility out of the three formations while highlighting the strengths of the entire squad, not just the new Galacticos.

Any formations I missed or starting eleven I got wrong. Please share your thoughts.

The Ultimate Galacticos

Majesh Abraham — Wed, 01 Jul 2009 15:02:06 -0400

Real Madrid is embarking on a "New Galacticos" era with the signing of Kaka, Cristiano Ronaldo, Raul Albiol and another star to be named later. In the process, Madrid president Florentino Perez has splashed out over $300 million, an astounding figure in these tough economic times. Even though Madrid has access to vast amounts of money (unlike most countries and financial institutions in the world), it is ultimately cash that limits Perez from signing a starting eleven of galacticos. But what if you had access to an unlimited stash of cash (just a little bit more than what the Manchester City owners have)? Who would you sign? I will unveil my starting eleven of Galacticos. In homage to Perez's marketing tactics and to make this a little more challenging, I have only chosen one player from a specific nationality. This will maximize the global reach of my team and garner increased revenue. My formation: An ultra-offensive 3-4-3. Why, because it would be fun to watch and tactically it features triangles and diamonds all over the pitch. Will you agree with my picks? Probably not, but it will be a fun debate. Please put your starting eleven in the comments section. Here we go.

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How the U.S. Shocked the World

Majesh Abraham — Thu, 25 Jun 2009 11:12:55 -0400

I bet the bookies in England didn't see this one coming, either. The lucky souls who bet on the U.S. to beat Spain are in heaven as they think about the copious amounts of money they just raked in.

To say this was an upset would be an understatement. But to say this was a miracle would be a discredit to the U.S. team as its victory was not due to luck.

The men in the white and blue executed their game plan to perfection and outplayed La Furia Roja in certain phases.

The beginning of the game was dominated by the U.S.; they came out full of energy and came close with many opportunities that highlighted its biggest weakness: the lack of a clinical finisher.

Charlie Davis is a speed demon, but he is a midfielder, not a striker. Jozy Altidore has the build to be a dominant centre-forward, but he is too passive in terms of taking shots.

Altidore did score a goal tonight, using his size to get away from the defender, but his shot was straight at the goalkeeper and he was lucky that Iker Casillas had inexplicably jumped the wrong way.

But what the U.S. lack in skill, they make up for in athleticism. It was on display the whole night. Michael Bradley and Simon Clarke hounded Spain's central midfielders, specifically Xavi, to prevent them from splitting the defense with through balls.

Oguchi Onyewu and Jay DeMerit crowded star strikers, Fernando Torres and David Villa, whenever they received the ball in the box and closed down heroically on numerous shot attempts.

Landon Donovan was all over the field, creating chances on offense and tracking back on defense, living up to his title as the U.S.'s best player and exhibiting his talent for potential European clubs.

The only sour note of the night was an excessive red card handed out to Bradley, which will prevent the energetic midfielder from playing in the final. It's another harsh card in this tournament against the U.S., which will make U.S. fans wonder about possible bias against the team.

As for Spain, they looked like a team that started to believe its own hype and there was a clear lack of hunger that defined their Euro 2008 success.

Del-Bosque's formation and substitution decisions were also puzzling. He played a 4-4-2, with Cesc Fabregas as a right winger who roams to the middle, exactly like the formation from Bosque's Real Madrid days that featured Zidane in that role.

This makes Sergio Ramos, ala Roberto Carlos, the right-winger, which played right into Bob Bradley's hands. The U.S. capitalized on Ramos's advanced position and sprung effective counter-attacks all game.

Ramos had numerous opportunities and failed to capitalize on any of them, which is why it was puzzling that Del-Bosque substituted Santi Cazorla for Fabregas, instead of the more talented David Silva.

Silva would have taken advantage of the copious amounts of space the U.S. left on the wings. Maybe Del-Bosque was trying to give other players more experience, as Silva will probably start in the World Cup.

But in that case, the team would have been better served by starting Cazorla on the right and Fabregas in Xavi's spot, which is Fabregas's natural position. The team were also missing Andres Iniesta dearly, as Albert Riera also failed to take advantage of the U.S. defense on the other wing.

But even without Iniesta and Silva, Spain has more talent than the U.S. and should have won the game. For many years, La Furia Roja has been the standard-bearer for underachievement on the national stage. But now, they are the favorites in any match they play and will have to get used to receiving inspired performances from opposing teams.

After a 35-game unbeaten streak, the team had become complacent and this loss will make Spain better in the long run. It will serve notice that they can't win games on talent alone and need to exhibit the same desire that they showed last year—it had long been missing on the national team.

In a worrying note for Spanish fans, it was near-freezing temperatures at game time, which might have affected the boys from sunny Spain more than the U.S. players. It's food for thought, considering the World Cup will be played in similar conditions next year.

Now the U.S., barring another upset victory, will play another World Cup favorite, Brazil, in the final on Sunday. The Seleção thoroughly defeated the U.S. 3-0 in the first round and will be huge favorites.

But that was before the U.S. pulled off two stunning victories when they had nothing to lose and everything to gain. They will play with that same mentality against Brazil and if the U.S. pull off another shocker on Sunday, its name might have to be mentioned as World Cup contenders.

Outrageous? Sure, but crazier things have happened.

Heartbreak City: Heartbreaking Defeats in Sports.

Majesh Abraham — Mon, 22 Jun 2009 11:51:43 -0400

Orlando Magic fans are probably rehashing Courtney Lee's missed lay-up in their mind right now. It was a heartbreaking defeat for Magic fans could possibly changed the outcome of the series against the Los Angeles Lakers, or atleast made it closer. As someone whose been there and done that, I feel for you. I am sick of all the lists talking about the best Championship teams, best Super Bowl winners and best everything in general! They say people only remember the winners, not the losers of a given sporting event. BULLS**T! Do you know who remembers the losers? The fans of the team that lost, they will never forget. This is for the fans who follow every play, every game and every season, just as the fans on the winning team do, but for one measly play, kick, pitch, shot, etc. that snatches defeat from the jaws of victory. We are the ones who have nothing to show for countless hours spent following a team throughout the season, except for another painful memory. Plus, we don't act like pompous jacka*#%s like the winning fans do afterward. Please don't give me that B.S. about how your team was the better team all along and deserved to win. There's luck involved in sports too my friend, not just in a casino. To make it on this list you as a fan have to have truly suffered for your team because your team has been historically inept and/or inept preceding that game. So Yankee fans, if you cry about Game 7 of the 2001 World Series, I will smack you with one of your 26 World series trophies. Same goes for Lakers fans, Red Wings fans, AC Milan etc. DISCLAIMER: This is not a comprehensive list. Repeat, THIS IS NOT A COMPREHENSIVE LIST. Sorry I wasn't born when the "Shot heard around the World Happened", so that's why its not on there. Also, I am a Chicago Sports fan, so I will probably have missed some moments that deserve to be on there. If you have other heartbreaking defeats that you think should go on the list, please feel free to post it as a comment. Also, for length reasons, I only put one loss per team. Finally, these aren't ranked, because obviously each fan of a respective team feels that their loss is the worst.

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New Galacticos = Must See TV: Who Will Leave Real Madrid?

Majesh Abraham — Sat, 13 Jun 2009 13:55:53 -0400

The previous Galacticos era was world-renowned for the players that were brought to Real Madrid, but it should also be notable for the players that left.

The exodus included Madrid legends Fernando Hierro and Fernando Redondo, along with Claude Makelele and Samuel Eto'o. Makelele's exit is cited by many former Madrid players as one of the key reasons of the demise of the Galactico era.

It's no coincidence that three of the above four played on the defensive side of the field, as Perez is deathly allergic to acknowledging the importance of defense in the game of football

But a move that Perez certainly regrets is releasing Samuel Eto'o, who has gone on to score quiet a few goals for arch-rivals Barcelona.

Now, Perez is back in charge and embarking on another massive spending spree. In my last article, I opined about what other Galactico might come to Madrid this year. Today, I look at the other side of the equation.

Who will leave from Madrid's squad this year?

For all the talk of the crisis at Madrid, much the squad that won back-to-back La Liga's before being outclassed by Barcelona last year still remains. That means that Madrid will have to let go of some quality players to make way for the new Galacticos.

Will the exodus force another Cantera product to ply his trade somewhere else?

For all the talk of the Madrid youth system being in ruins, Real Madrid just won the under-18 World Championship, fittingly defeating Barcelona's youth team in the championship game. So there is talent in the pipeline and Perez's Galactico policy might be a detriment to Madrid's future if it sends away more young talent.

At the time of Kaka's deal, Perez announced that at least nine members of the current squad will make way for the Galacticos. Now with Ronaldo, that number looks like it will be 10.

A key thing to remember is that with the World Cup one year away, many players who are looking to cement their national team spot will want to be on a team that allows them to feature in the starting eleven.

Let's look at the players who are most likely to be shipped out:

Fabio Cannavaro (CB): Already signed with Juventus.

Gabriel Heinze (LB): Age catching up with Argentine who was a liability last year, especially against Liverpool.

Christopher Metzelder (CB): Never healthy in Madrid, will probably move back to Germany to rediscover his form and keep his national team spot.

Royston Drenthe (Left-wing): Dutch winger, who did not want to be picked for games last year, already had one foot out the door before the new additions.

Mahamadou Diarra (Def Mid): Diarra unfortunately lost his position and number to his namesake, Lass, after going down with injury last year.

Rafael van der Vaart (Att Mid): Another Dutch player who didn't get playing time last year and was visibly frustrated.

Wesley Sneijder (Att Mid): The heavily hyped Dutch contingent at Madrid will only have lasted for one year, as Sneijder is crowded out of the midfield by Kaka. He will generate plenty of interest after his Euro 2008 performance, and he will want to feature in a starting eleven.

Javier Saviola (Striker): The Argentine is already 27 years old and will not want to waste the prime of his career on the bench.

The players whose status is up in the air:

Michel Salgado (RB): Age has caught up with the long-time Madrid defender , but he has always wanted to retire with Madrid and is willing to accept his back-up role. Perez might have other ideas though.

Arjen Robben (Left-wing): Madrid fans are dreaming of a diamond midfield, with Robben and Ronaldo flying down the flanks, Kaka as a attacking midfielder, and Lass playing the Makelele role in the back.

It would arguably be the best midfield in the world, but the major question is Robben, who last year was Madrid's best attacking force, mainly because he managed to stay healthy longer than he usually does.

He was criticized last year for his selfishness in not passing the ball. Robben will probably not like playing third fiddle behind Ronaldo and Kaka who also demand the ball.

With the World Cup on the horizon, he also must be guaranteed of a spot in the starting eleven so he is in form for South Africa. Pellegrini might be fine with allowing Marcelo, who performed well in the left-wing slot last year, to fully take over Robben's spot.

Ruben de la Red (Att Mid): The Spanish international is a Madrid Cantera product who only a year ago was celebrating the Euro 2008 championship and poised to have a breakout year with Madrid.

Fast forward one year and his Madrid career looks in jeopardy after he collapsed on the field after suffering a syncope during a Copa Del Rey game. He was held out for seven months as a precaution and has only featured in an exhibition game since.

It is yet to be seen what kind of form he will be in after such a long lay-off. Also, now due to Madrid's crowded midfield, he is not even guaranteed a starting spot. With the World Cup on the horizon, he will be eager to reclaim his spot on La Furia Roja, and will likely need to feature for a starting eleven to prove his form.

Another season on-loan looks looms for the midfielder, especially if Xabi Alonso is brought in.

Guti (Att Mid): The Madrid vice-captain has long served the cause for Los Blancos in whatever position they asked him to play. He was finally able to return to his prefferred creative midfielder position after an original galactico, Zidane, retired.

Now with Kaka in the squad, his position is in jeopardy, and at 32 he might not want to ride the bench for the last years of his career. Although he penned a life-time contract with Madrid last year for his loyalty and service to Madrid, he has never received the adulation that Raul and Casillas have at the Bernabéu.

Guti's position highly depends on what kind of formation Madrid opt for and any other further changes to the squad. If Perez succeeds in his chase for Xabi Alonso, look for Guti to be playing somewhere else next year.

Ruud van Nistelrooy (Striker): The Dutch legend was in form last year when he unfortunately went down with a season-ending knee injury. Only two years removed from the Pichichi, Ruud, still had what it takes to score goals, but it remains to see if will truly recover from this injury at the age of 32.

On the positive side of things, Ruud, never relied on his speed to be great, so he can still be an effective striker at his advancing age and even if his injury makes him lose a step.

The key in determining Ruud's future will be Perez's ability to sign another striker that he wants, David Villa or Diego Forlan. If Perez succeeds, it will come down to a choice between Raul and Ruud, which is a competition that Raul will always win because of his iconic status at the Bernabéu.

But don't feel bad for Ruud, there are plenty of Premier League teams chomping at the bit to bring him back to the league where he previously had great success.

Klaas-Jan Huntelaar (Striker): Another Dutch player, Huntelaar finds himself in somewhat similar circumstances to the man he replaced at Madrid and the Dutch National team.

In the prime of his career at 25 years old, Huntelaar does not want waste time on the bench, especially knowing that he would be in the starting eleven at 95% of the other clubs in the world.

He will also want to be in form for the World-Cup next year as the Dutch have plenty of attacking talent who could replace him in the starting eleven, if Huntelaar is not up to par.

Real Madrid's future success will depend as much on the players that Perez keeps as the ones as he brings in.

In the next edition of New Galacticos, Must See TV, I will look at the possible formations that Manuel Pellegrini could play to accommodate the new talent on the team.

New Galacticos= Must See TV: Who will be the next galactico?

Majesh Abraham — Fri, 12 Jun 2009 14:05:23 -0400

An attacking midfielder from Serie A, a Portuguese winger, and if reports are to be believed, a striker with a prolific record on the international level.

If I didn't have a calendar around, I would swear it's 2002 again, as a certain Florentino Perez is up to his old tricks at Real Madrid.

Kaka, Cristiano Ronaldo and David Villa (if reports are to be believed, and at this point I believe anything that comes out of Madrid) are set to succeed the thrones of the original Galacticos: Zinedine Zidane, Luis Figo and the original "Ronaldo".

Sadly, Perez will not be able to exactly duplicate the previous Galacticos, because there is truly one and only "Golden Balls", aka David Beckham. But you never know, "Becks" is free to sign with anyone once he opts out of his LA Galaxy contract, and he is still worth millions in advertising revenue.

The original Galacticos crashed from the lofty skies, after a Champions League trophy and two La Liga Titles, because of Perez's deathly allergy to acknowledging the importance of defensive players and the fact there was only one football to share between multiple individual stars.

Now, instead of signing one "Galactico" per summer, Perez is changing it up and trying to sign multiple Galacticos in one swoop. This will either lead to beautiful football returning to the capital of Spain or a spectacular explosion that will spread egg all over Perez's face.

Whatever happens, it will make for riveting theater.

The future of Los Blancos will hinge on specific issues that will be addressed in different parts:

Part 1: One Galactico, two Galactico, three Galactico?

The latest reports have David Villa, Spain and Valencia's star striker, as the next Galactico lined up to head to the Bernabéu. If Villa doesn't pan out, Madrid is courting Diego Forlan, while also showing interest in midfielders Franck Ribery and Xabi Alonso.

There's a disturbing trend in this policy that should worry Madristas, these are all attack-minded players in a team that doesn't need any more attacking talent, especially at striker.

You can't help but feel sorry for Madrid's captain, Raul, who was the forgotten man in the previous era of Galacticos, and now in this era might be pushed to a substitute role. For all the exaggerated talks of his demise, Raul, along with Gonzago Higuain, still led Los Blancos in goals with 24.

After a three-year blip in form from 2004-2006, Raul has returned to plundering goals. His biggest fault is that he doesn't possess a single quality that distinguishes him from the others, but he still finds ways to score and is a tireless worker on the pitch. Plus, as the captain and Madrid legend, it will be hard-pressed for Real's manager, Manuel Pellegrini, to quietly send Raul to the bench.

Higuain, who is absurdly being looked over by Maradona for Argentina, scored 22 goals in La Liga last year, only one less than his much more highly regarded compatriot, Lionel Messi. Only 21 years old, he has already shown a knack for clutch goals, and should be given the time to further develop.

Madrid also have two Dutch poachers, one on his way out, and one emerging, in Ruud Van Nistelrooy and Klaas-Jan Huntelaar. Van Nistelrooy, although coming off a knee injury, still gets the job done when healthy, as shown by 10 goals in 12 appearances last year.

Huntelaar, brought in to replace Nistelrooy last year, has shown flashes of the same poaching ability as Ruud. At 25 years old, he is just entering his prime. Now that he has had some time to adjust to La Liga, he certainly has the potential to be a star striker for Madrid.

Add to this attacking fulcrum, Kaka and Ronaldo, two men who know how to score goals. Kaka has the ability to play as a second striker, and a staple of his game is blazing runs into the box.

Ronaldo only truly flourishes when he's allowed a free role that allows him to play anywhere from the wing to the forward position, and that will have to be incorporated into Madrid's formation.

Finally, you can't forget about Arjen Robben, Madrid's best attacking threat from last season, who rarely wants to give up the ball as he dribbles his way past defenders into the box.

Thus, you can see why David Villa might be excess to the needs of Madrid.

As hard as it might be, Perez should turn his attention to the defensive side of the field, where Madrid need another centre-back to replace Fabio Cannavaro. A player such as Bruno Alves would shore up a defensive line that already features a world-class right back in Sergio Ramos and Pepe, a great centre-back in spite of that ridiculous tantrum he threw last year.

The left back role should be given to Miguel Torres, who was good enough to start under Fabio Capello, and we all know that Don Fabio only starts players who truly deserve it. Torres, only 23, was developing under Capello, before being benched by Schuster and Ramos. He is not attack-minded, but in a squad full of attacking talent, he doesn't need to be. Plus, it would prevent another Real Madrid cantera product from leaving the Bernabéu.

In the next edition of New Galacticos: Must See TV, I address the players that will leave Madrid next year as a result of Perez's policy.

Ode to a Gatorade Dispenser

Majesh Abraham — Thu, 04 Jun 2009 17:09:36 -0400

It was a weekend of memorable farewells in the world of sports.

Rafael Nadal bid a shocking adieu to the French Open and his winning streak in Paris. (A bittersweet moment for Roger Federer). David Stern desolately waved goodbye to millions of dollars of potential revenue from a Kobe-LeBron Finals (Cleveland fans are praying that the Cavs sign another free agent because LeBron was just a little bit angry after the game).

But lost among those farewells was a less public one that signaled the end of an era in Chicago sports. Albeit short-lived, this was a truly memorable era.

If you haven't caught on to the subject, this is an ode to the Gatorade dispenser in the Chicago Cubs dugout that was sent home after being the victim of a series of attacks. This dispenser endured joy, despair, wrath, and pain; all in an eventful two months.

In a stadium known for its old-fashioned ways, you were a bright and sleek representation of modern times. You looked down upon plain-old water coolers with scorn, as not only could you dispense water, but two different flavors of that holy grail of liquids, Gatorade (I will never call it "G" no matter how much money Gatorade spends on those atrocious commercials).

After a 100 years of misery, you were brought in to represent a shifting culture that had always been known as the lovable losers. Surely, of all the reasons that the Cubs have failed to win a World Series in the last century, you were a solution to an issue that no one had ever previously thought of.

Maybe it was the water all along.

Alas, you will never get to prove your worth, as you have been unceremoniously sent back to where you came from. Keep your head held high, Gatorade dispenser, because it wasn't your fault that you were banished from the friendly confines. In fact, it was for the safety of your well-being.

You had performed your job diligently from day one. In the beginning, you observed a team burdened with a tag of "chokers" after being disgracefully swept from the playoffs two straight years. "There's always next year," had been a line synonymous with this team as a moniker of hope after many disastrous seasons.

However, last year was supposed to be the "year."

The Cubs had rolled to the best record in the National League in, fittingly, the centennial anniversary of their last World Series triumph. The Cubbie kingdom was buzzing. Wrigley was invigorated as if it were 1908 all over again. But before you could say the words "Holy Cow," the team exited the playoffs.

Thus this year, you knew the team has to prove that its not a bunch of over-paid stiffs. It has to succeed in order to validate all of GM Jim Hendry's moves. You didn't mention what everyone quietly believes; that his signature signing of Alfonso Soriano, the team's best power hitter who is masquerading as a lead-off hitter, has left this team inherently flawed.

It's Lou Piniella's last year (with an option for next year), and he has to prove that he can achieve more than any other average manager can with a team of highly-paid stars. Carlos Zambrano has to prove that he fittingly deserves the moniker of an ace—one who can carry a team in the playoffs, and not just dominate in the regular season.

Derrek Lee has to prove that he can be a true No. 3 hitter, not an aging player who fails to deliver when it matters most. Milton Bradley has to prove that he's more than Terrell Owens in a baseball uniform.

So you sat back and watched Kosuke Fukodome start the season brightly, just as he had last season. But this time, it looks like his form will last the whole year, justifying his huge contract.

One half of the LSU mighty mites, Ryan Theriot, found a power stroke that had a columnist questioning Theriot's integrity in an effort to show how no player can be considered "clean" in this era of baseball.

But you've seen the other half, Mike Fontenot, struggle with being an everyday player—one of the reasons many have chided Hendry for trading the versatile and beloved Mark Derosa.

You saw Mr. Clutch, Aramis Ramirez, go down with a dislocated shoulder leaving the team hobbled until after the all-star break. You have seen Big Z struggle with injuries and miss starts. Lee has been dropped from the No. 3 spot in the line-up. Rich Harden was in and out of the starting rotation. Milton Bradley was struggling to live up to a contract, while trying to prove he wasn't malcontent at the same time.

But the team had got off to a decent start, even with all these issues before it headed off for that fateful road trip.

You were resting when the Cubs went to St. Louis to face-off against the arch-nemesis Cardinals. Everyone knows the Cardinals are the true competition for the NL Central crown and while this series is always huge, this was even more important as the winner would establish pole position in the race for the division.

The Cubs were swept by St. Louis as the offense sputtered to a halt. Next, the team went to sunny San Diego and got swept again.

Little did you know that when the team came back home, it would take its frustration out on you. After playing part in the team's eighth straight loss, Ryan Dempster tried to knock you out with his hand. But you bounced back up, because let's face it, a human hand is no match and probably hurt him more than it did you.

But next, it was Big Z, who in his first start after coming off an injury, got into an argument with the umpire.

Now, you had heard stories from your cooler brethren about the dangers of Z's tantrums, so you had to expect it would occur sometime. But this was a tantrum for the ages—even for Z's standards.

He unleashed a furious attack with a maple bat, from which you would never recover.

This team, which was derided for its lack of fire in last year's playoff exit has shown plenty of it this season. From the usual suspects, Zambrano and Bradley, to the unforeseen ones, Dempster and Ted Lilly. Ironically, the person known for his infamous explosions, Sweet Lou, has yet to be ignited this season.

In previous years, his characteristic dirt-kicking, umpire-berating outbursts snapped the team into action and seemingly united the players. After two years of disappointing results, it might be part of Lou's plan to idly watch instead of joining in on the fracas.

After 50 games, the Cubs are hovering about .500, fourth in the division—a far cry from where they expected to be. Granted, injuries have taken a toll on the lineup, and the pitching has still performed decently.

But in a season where just making the playoffs is not good enough, it's not ideal to be embroiled in a season-long race for a playoff spot.

As a Cubs fan, one comes to expect the unexpected, and this current team is an enigma by itself, so who knows what will happen by the end of the year. But if it does end in glory, be sure, Gatorade dispenser, that no one will forget your vital contribution.

All good things must come to an end, and so your life in the big-leagues has come to a close. But take consolation my friend, in the fact that you will never ever have to face the end of a baseball bat again.

2009 Chicago Bears Position Battles

Majesh Abraham — Fri, 29 May 2009 19:46:58 -0400

All the off-season talk around the Chicago Bears has centered around one man, Jay Cutler. But if the Bears are to go anywhere this season, even with Cutler, they first need to sort out key positions that are still up in the air. Training camp is still two months away, but with the draft over and many top free agents already signed, few changes will be made and the team should be set with the players they have already signed. Let's take a look at the key position battles. Disclaimer: Under Lovie Smith, positions that were supposed to be a open competition often have not been open competitions at all.

Begin Slideshow

Cash 4 Gould: Q & A with Chicago Bears K Robbie Gould

Majesh Abraham — Fri, 29 May 2009 15:55:29 -0400

What about the kickers? These unsung heroes of the gridiron are overlooked for their more muscular, athletic and flashier teammates. but often times it is a kicker's leg that determines the outcome of a NFL game.

Just ask any New England Patriots’ fan, how many Super Bowls has New England since the “Iceman” left for Indianapolis? A big fat zero, and the year that Vinatieri joined the Colts, it was finally able to get over the hump and win the Super Bowl. I’m not saying there is a direct correlation between Vinatieri and Super Bowls, but statistically speaking you could make an argument.

Ask the average NFL fan to name players from the Chicago Bears, and they would name the usual suspects. Brian Urlacher, Lance Briggs, and Jay Culter would immediately come to mind. But everyone knows the story behind these guys. They are highly touted athletes who have been in the limelight since an early age because of their superior athletic ability.

But it is those same superior athletic gifts that make it impossible for your average Joe to relate to them. That’s why I would want to sit down with Chicago Bears kicker Robbie Gould (pronounced Gold). Gould’s personal story from working a construction job to being the highest-paid kicker in the NFL is the stuff of Hollywood.

Here are the questions:

1) I’m going to start by asking you what’s been on everyone’s minds since last year’s Super Bowl. Have you been approached to be on a Cash 4 Gold commercials? You would be a perfect spokesperson.

2) You were initially interested in becoming a professional soccer player coming out of high school. What made you change your mind to football?

3) You persuaded your high school principal to write a letter of recommendation to Joe Paterno. Did you honestly think you would hear back from Joe Pa?

4) Paterno invited you as a walk-on for Penn State? Describe the experience as a walk-on as opposed to a scholarship player and what kept you believing that you could one day make the team?

5) What secret concoction/treatment is Joe Pa taking to keep himself still ticking at this age?

6) Describe your emotions and thoughts when you were left undrafted in the 2005 NFL Draft?

7) Bill Belichick signed you as a free-agent for the Patriots. Is he as crazy a coach as the media makes him appear to be?

8) Did you pick up any tips from the “Iceman” when you were in New England?

9) You were released by the Patriots and picked up by the Baltimore Ravens. Who was scarier, Brian Billick or Ray Lewis?

10) After being released by the Ravens, you went back to working construction in Pennsylvania. Did you think you would make it back to the NFL at that point?

11) Describe the emotions on the day that you received the call from the Bears?

12) How nervous were you when you kicked your first kick during an actual NFL game?

13) What did it feel like going into the 2006 off-season knowing that you had a secure job lined up for the next season?

14) You kicked a Bears’ record 26 consecutive FG’s in 2006. Any superstitions during the streak?

15) What was the atmosphere like when you lined up to kick the game-winning kick in the playoffs at home against Seattle?

16) What did you take away from the Super Bowl experience in Miami?

17) You went from being an undrafted player to working construction to going to the Super Bowl and Pro Bowl in less than two years. Is the whole journey still hard to believe?

18) Now you are the highest paid kicker in the NFL. How has this new-found security changed your day-to-day life?

19) What are your expectations for the team with the addition of Jay Cutler?

20) Any movie deals lined up at the end of your career?

Hot Feet: Jay Cutler's Legs Will Add New Dimension to Chicago Offense

Majesh Abraham — Fri, 29 May 2009 13:38:37 -0400

Everyone knows that Jay Cutler has a rocket arm that leaves a white hot mark on the hands of NFL receivers. But don’t overlook Cutler’s mobility and his ability to throw on the run, which will be like manna from the heavens to Bears’ fans used to concrete-legged QB’s.

Kyle Orton was a solid QB, but the only mobile part of him was the hairs flying around from his indomitable beard. Rex Grossman ran, but he often looked like a chicken with his head cutoff as he would run into sacks more often than not.

Cutler is no Michael Vick, but he does have an uncanny ability to make plays out of nothing with his feet and is blessed with the ability to throw accurately on the run.

“I am excited more by his athletic ability than his strong arm,'' said Bears WR Rashied Davis. ''He can move around. I'm not saying anything against K.O. [Kyle Orton] and Rex [Grossman] because I love K.O. and Rex, but he can move around a lot better. He can throw the ball on the move a lot better.”

Look for the offense to incorporate more roll-out plays to take advantage of Cutler’s abilities and help create open spaces for their inexperienced receivers. This will specifically help Devin Hester, who is not strong enough to physically outmaneuver defenders, and has yet to master short/middle range routes. A play that is guaranteed to be seen is a quick/deep out pattern for Hester starting with a QB-rollout that will draw the linebackers away from the middle of the field.

Look out for an increase in play-action plays, normal and roll-out variety, as an added boost of Cutler’s mobility. Cutler’s arm strength will keep defenses on their toes and prevent them from stacking the box against RB Matt Forte. But the Bears will always be a run-first team, so these will be highly effective if incorporated at the correct times.

A play that should be specifically used in the beginning of the game, even if not successful, is a play-action fly route to Hester to open up the field. This will make the defense respect the deep pass and allow more space in the middle of the field for TE’s Greg Olsen and Desmond Clark to take advantage of. This will allow the Bears to effectively run HB screens with Matt Forte who with 63 receptions last year, has proven himself to be a safe pair of hands.

Finally, although a long shot, another possible wrinkle that the Bears could add because of Cutler’s mobility is the Wild-cat formation. This new formation that is sweeping through the NFL is effective with a QB who is athletic enough to play WR, and Cutler certainly fits the bill. It is yet to be seen whether Forte can throw the ball, but I wouldn’t put it past the multi-talented RB. If not, I’m sure the Bears can find one WR/RB on their roster who can throw the pigskin.

Will the team open up the playbook as all of Chicago is expecting them to? Am I delirious to think that the Chicago Bears, a team who prides itself on conservative football would run the Wildcat formation? Maybe, but three months ago, nobody in their right mind would have thought that Cutler would land on the shores of Lake Michigan either.

2009 Chicago Bears Preview: In Jay Cutler We Trust

Majesh Abraham — Fri, 22 May 2009 13:17:22 -0400

Who is the Chicago Bears' quarterback again? You would have to been living under a meteor rock deep in the heart of Lake Michigan if you didn't know that answer.

Hope you have strong shoulders, Jay Cutler, because you're going to have to carry the expectations of the entire City of Broad Shoulders. Did I forget to mention that the future of a GM and a coach also hangs in your hands?

No pressure, I swear!

But Cutler, who grew up as a Bears fan, should know what's coming. The Bears and a great quarterback go together as well as oil and water, George Steinbrenner and Billy Martin, the Cubs and World Series trophies (it hurts me to say that as a Cubs fan), and, well, you get the point.

That is why ever since the Jay Cutler trade, Bears fans have been in a swoon that has them dreaming of deep balls to Devin Hester usually reserved for a Madden game, a wide-open playbook, and all the national attention that comes with having a great player under center.

Bears fans have suffered under the hands of the QB who won't just go away, Brett Favre, for 16 years and had to listen to the media drool over the man's every move. Now they’re ready to snatch the spotlight and stick it to their cheesehead neighbors from the north.

But can Cutler succeed in doing what even Moses—Moreno that is—failed to do, and lead this franchise to the promised land, also known as the Super Bowl in Miami? If he can achieve that with the Bears' current squad in 2009-10, he will truly have to be a miracle worker because this team has serious holes it needs to address.

The most glaring is at wide receiver, where there is nobody on the Bears' roster as good as Brandon Marshall or even Eddie Royal, Cutler's main targets in Denver. Hester, who showed flashes of brilliance last year, is nowhere close to becoming a No. 1 WR as the Bears have him currently listed.

He needs to work on his route running and gain better separation on patterns that don't involve a deep ball. It doesn’t get better as you go down the depth chart, as the Bears have Earl Bennett, a second-year WR who couldn’t pick up the offense last year, Rashied Davis, undersized at 5’9", and rookie Juaquin Iglesias, the 16th WR taken in the 2009 NFL draft.

The team is hoping that Bennett rekindles the stellar relationship that he had with Cutler at Vanderbilt, but there is no guarantee that success will carry against NFL defenses.

The Bears missed an huge opportunity by not aggressively pursuing Torry Holt, who would have provided the team with a true No. 1 and could have mentored the younger players, including Hester, on how to play the position.

If you’re going to go for broke, as Angelo did with the Cutler trade, why not go for the jugular and acquire a top WR for Cutler to pass to. See the 2008 Boston Celtics.

Angelo is justifying his inactivity on the theory that great QBs make their WRs better, i.e. Donovan McNabb and Brett Favre.

But that same reasoning doesn’t apply to Cutler for two reasons. First, Cutler is coming to a brand new team and an offensive system, unlike those guys who had multiple seasons to learn the system. Also, Cutler flourished under Mike Shanahan, and even the most ardent Ron Turner supporter would have to agree that Turner is not close to the offensive mind that Shanahan was.

So expectations of instant success for Cutler should be tapered and expect some growing pains as he adjusts to a new team and city. But an area that should see improvement coming off an already successful season is the running game.

Not only will the respect for Cutler’s arm open up the running game for Matt Forte, the team also beefed up its offensive line with the signing of Orlando Pace and Frank Omilaye. Add to the fact that Forte will have a year of experience under his belt after a stellar rookie year, and you have all the makings of a potential Pro-Bowl year for the running back. He’ll be a steal for whoever drafts him on their fantasy team.

TE Greg Olsen will finally have a QB who can take advantage of his size and speed advantages over LBs. Fellow TE Desmond Clark, although in his twilight, will also put up better numbers because of Cutler.

On the defensive side of things, the question mark is at the free safety position. The Bears let go of often-injured team leader Mike Brown, leading to the current position battle between the unproven Craig Steltz and Josh Bullocks. This battle doesn’t inspire confidence as Steltz is still a raw second-year player and Bullocks is most famous for a compilation on YouTube about him titled “How Can a Safety Be This Bad?”

The two linebacker positions are set with Brian Urlacher, at the end of his peak, and Pro Bowler Lance Briggs. The battle for the strong-side LB position between Hunter Hillenmeyer and Nick Roach might take an interesting twist if the Bears sign free agent Pisa Tinoisamoa, a Lovie Smith favorite from his St. Louis Rams days. Tinoisamoa led the Rams in tackles last year, and would be a starter over Hillenmeyer or Roach, and create a stellar set of linebackers.

But the guys in front of them will have to play better this year, especially in generating a pass rush. The Bears ranked 30th in pass defense last year, often due to the inordinate amount of time that QB’s were able to sit in the pocket.

All eyes will be on DT Tommie Harris to see if he can recover his Pro Bowl form that had made him the highest-paid defensive tackle in the NFL before Albert Haynesworth’s monster contract this offseason.

He is the catalyst for the defensive line as he usually takes up double teams, freeing up other players. But he seemed to struggle with his problematic knee last year, and as a result the Bears could not generate enough pressure from their line. Thus they had to resort to blitzing linebackers or defensive backs, leaving them exposed downfield.

It also didn’t help that DE Mark Anderson regressed in his sophomore year. After being named a starter at the beginning of the season over Alex Brown, he was benched and replaced by Brown by the end of the season.

Anderson’s confidence might be shattered, especially after Brown got a contract extension in the offseason. New defensive-line coach Rod Marinelli will have to prove his worth and restore his confidence because the Bears are most effective when Anderson, Brown, and Adewale Ogunleye are all playing well as part of an interchangeable rotation.

But this year’s biggest change to the defense is also expected to come as a result of Cutler. Last year, the defense spent a lot of time on the field as the offense was inept at keeping possession and scoring when they had the ball. This led to the defense often being tired at the end of games.

Cutler’s presence is expected to revitalize the offense, and thus revitalize the defense since it won't be overworked during games. Also, the defensive unit will have leads to protect instead of facing constant pressure to keep the team in the game, which allows them take to more chances.

Without Cutler last year, the Bears, with a serviceable Kyle Orton, finished 9-7 and second in the division behind Minnesota. However, no other teams in the NFC North made as dramatic a move as the Bears did, and with Minnesota’s QB position in limbo, the Bears are expected to win the division.

The Vikings have a quarterback controversy with Sage Rosenfels and Tavaris Jackson, two names that don’t scare any defense. The Packers will try to bounce back from a 6-10 season while adjusting to a completely new defensive scheme, and hope that Aaron Rodgers doesn’t fold under the weight of trying to replace Favre. Detroit fans are just hoping to avoid consecutive 0-16 seasons.

The tough games on this year’s schedule will be the games against Minnesota and Green Bay, as well as Pittsburgh at home, Atlanta on the road, Arizona at home, Philadelphia at home and Baltimore on the road. Assuming the Bears basically split those games (5-4) and win all the other ones, they should finish 12-4 and a top seed in the division.

The NFC is up for grabs this year. Arizona has locker room issues due to the disgruntled Anquan Boldin as they try to buck the trend of Super Bowl losers playing poorly in the following season. The Giants still haven’t recovered from the Plaxico Burress saga.

The Cowboys might be less distracting without Terrel Owens, but they’ll have to find someone to replace his production. The Falcons will improve due to Tony Gonzalez and Matt Schaub having another year under his belt, but have questions on defense.

So the situation is just right for the Bears to sneak up on everyone and possibly snatch the NFC crown, but if and only if Cutler lives up to the vaunted expectations that have been placed on him. But I think the lack of a wide-receiver will haunt the Bears in the end and they will exit in the second round of the playoffs.

But for once, Bears fans won't have to worry about their quarterback.

All-Time NBA Villains: SF, Ron Artest

Majesh Abraham — Fri, 20 Jun 2008 08:18:23 -0400

Some people will say that Ron Artest hasn’t done enough to qualify as a villain, but when you are the instigator of the most notorious altercation in NBA history, I think you’ve done quite enough.

Remember, bonus points are awarded to villains who help fuel David Stern’s transformation into a Michael Corleone-style dictator. Well, the brawl in Detroit is comparable to Fredo’s betrayal of Michael, as this was the last straw for Stern.

From now on Stern would lay the hammer down on the players like never before in NBA history. This is what launches Artest into the starting lineup.

When else do you remember the defining moment of an entire NBA season as a fight? It was an event that will live on in NBA infamy, moving the league off the sports pages to the front pages for all the wrong reasons.

Stern suspended him for the rest of the year, and a total of 86 games overall—an unprecedented amount. Artest’s teammates were also suspended for long periods of time, rendering a championship contender paralyzed.

The Pacers were the defending division champions, and were eager to avenge an Eastern Conference Finals defeat to the Pistons. They had a solid core of Jermaine O’Neal, Artest, Stephen Jackson, and Jamaal Tinsley, with a solid supporting cast that included Reggie Miller.

After the incident though, the Pacers never recovered. They made it to the playoffs, but were defeated by the Pistons again. Artest came back the next year, but wasn’t the player of old. He struggled, became more of a distraction than an asset, and was traded to the Kings.

I guarantee you that one player has not been hated by a majority of the country as Artest was after that incident. Heck, he was probably even disliked by Pacers fans for ruining a season.

One cannot entirely blame Artest for the incident—you have to impart some blame on the fan who threw the beer onto Artest. Heck, I would be furious too if somebody threw a beer at me. But as a professional athlete, he crossed a line that forever tarnished his legacy.

On the court, Artest was the reigning defensive player of the year, and the best on-the-ball defender in the game. Artest’s offensive game, though ugly, is efficient enough to average 16-plus points a game.

Like the previous two villains, Artest also brings a nasty streak to the game. Basically, this is one man you just wouldn’t want to mess with on a dark alley by yourself, cause he’s also kind of crazy.

The only thing that could resurrect his career is playing on a championship team.Tthere are rumors of the Lakers possibly acquiring him in order to add some toughness and defensive presence. I’m guessing Lamar Odom’s lack of fortitude is frustrating Lakers fans.

If the status quo remains, my enduring memory of Artest will not be the brawl in Detroit, but his surprise opening act performance as a rapper at a concert I attended, where he spewed these lyrics of obvious musical genius:

“Yo, I'm Ron Artest and I aint no Kobe,

My game's on higher level, like Obi Wan Kenobi.

No wait, I aint no white dude in a robey..."

That’s right Ron, there’s no way you're Obi Wan—because with those atrocious lyrics, you definitely deserve to be a villain, Darth Vader style.

All-Time NBA Villains: C, Bill Laimbeer

Majesh Abraham — Mon, 16 Jun 2008 07:10:31 -0400

As the Lakers barely squeezed out a victory over the Celtics on Sunday, the highly anticipated series between the old rivals, LA versus Boston, has failed to live up to its hype, as Boston has clearly been the superior team.

It was naïve to expect this series to live up the storied battles of the past; especially because the emotional feud doesn’t exist today as it did in the previous Celtics-Lakers battles.

For a neutral fan, this series is sorely missing one main ingredient: a villain.

The villain is the guy who transforms a series from an exciting contest to an emotional war. Instead of just a basketball game, it becomes a battle of attrition, masculinity and pure emotion.

The Lakers-Celtics rivalry 80’s was so great, because after McHale clotheslined Rambis in ‘84, all the formalities were thrown out the window and the rest is history.

Imagine if the Lakers still had big shot or cheap shot Bob as some call him, one of the few remaining villains of our time. How much would the series have turned after Bob inadvertently hip checked Rajon Rondo right into Paul Pierce’s bad knee when the Celtics were making their epic comeback in Game Four?

KG plays like a crazed maniac using passion from within; imagine if you actually gave him a reason to be angry. Pau Gasol would be trying to cry his way back to Memphis instead of simply crying to the refs.

So in honor of a dying and forgotten breed in the NBA, one-by-one, I will unveil a starting five of the greatest NBA Villains.

There are two conditions that must be met to earn a spot on the All-Villain team.

1) The player cannot be a superstar, because superstars are naturally hated because of their skills, not because of their actions. As much as it killed me to not put Karl Malone on this list, I had to realize my dislike mainly stems from his skills, more than the fact that he was a big turd.

2) The player has to have some actual basketball value for his team other than just coming off the bench so he can land a hay-maker on an opposing player. A.K.A, no cheerleaders like the immortally useless Mark Madsen.

P.S: You earn bonus points if you played a part in David Stern’s Michael Corleone like transformation from a nice commissioner to the iron-fist dictator he is now.

C: Bill Laimbeer, Detroit Pistons

This “Bad Boy” Piston was the epitome of the 80’s Pistons style of play. He probably has the NBA record for most punches thrown at because he dished out flagrant fouls that even the NBA refs couldn’t miss.

If the NBA paralled wrestling, he would be the ultimate heel, a reason why his nicknames included "The Prince of Darkness," "Street Thug," and the "Ax Murderer."

Notable incidents include starting a fight with Larry Bird in Game Three of the ’87 Conference Finals that got him and the Celtics best player (Bird) ejected from the game. As a result, the game ended in a Piston’s rout, as the Celtics obviously missed Bird more than the Pistons did Laimbeer.

Bill wasn’t finished, he antagonized the “Chief” Robert Parish so much that the usually reserved center, clocked Laimbeer in the face in Game Five, earning Parish a one-game suspension for Game Six, which not surprisingly the Pistons also won.

He also started the original fan-player brawl in Detroit, when he faced-off with Charles Barkley and the fight ended with Barkley going after a Pistons fan.

He was also the main instigator of the Jordan Rules, developed by the Pistons, which involved hacking MJ relentlessly so he would physically break down by the end of the game. He was hated so much in Chicago, that the Bulls mascot, Benny the Bull, even staged a fight with a Laimbeer doll.

Laimbeer was also the evolutionary origin of the NBA flopper, a legacy that is carried on in a much sissier fashion by today’s players. Sure Laimbeer fell after being fouled, but he also fell after being punched in the face, and would never back down in a fight.

Now the European infusion of the NBA game has infected the floppers too, who fall down when grazed by an opposing player’s jersey. They also talk a lot of trash, but run away when being punched…ala Carmelo Anthony.

Laimbeer wasn’t just a tough guy, he was an excellent shooter for a big man. Laimbeer had the ability to shoot threes, an uncommon ability for a center, and was an excellent rebounder, leading the league in defensive rebounds from 1982-1990.

Laimbeer excelled in the pick and roll game with Isiah Thomas, as his shooting forced defenders to come outside, opening up the lane for Isiah.

Laimbeer was a four-time All-Star, is the Pistons career leader in rebounds, and was highly durable for a big man. In fact his streak of 685 consecutive games played only ended because he was suspended after a fight with Brad Daugherty.

He also was criticized by the Beastie Boys in the song "Tough Guy", and everyone knows that if the Beastie Boys call you out in a song, you truly are a villain.

But nothing signifies Laimbeer’s legacy as a villain, as the SNES game that bore his name, Bill Laimbeer’s Combat Basketball.

Its plot revolved around the NBA in 2030 with none other than Laimbeer as the commissioner. Commissioner Laimbeer got rid of the referees so fouls didn’t exist, players wore armor, and you could throw bombs onto the court.

Stern Connection: Stern probably shuddered at the thought of Laimbeer becoming commissioner and he is furiously working on a cryogenic time chamber that will keep him alive for the next 100 years and extend his rule over the NBA Empire.

Next: PF, Dennis Rodman

Chicago Cubs Weekly Recap: Wild West Yields Wacky, but Successful Road Trip

Majesh Abraham — Mon, 09 Jun 2008 05:29:47 -0400

It was an eventful week for the Cubbies, as they looked to silence all the critics that complain about their “woeful” road record as they faced the Padres and Dodgers in the wilderness that is So. Cal.

They started out the road trip with a bang, carrying on from their 7-0 home stand. They had two exciting comeback victories over the Padres.

Piniella might have to consider using Big Z in more pinch-hit situations, as he went 3-3 on Monday in a 7-6 win, with a single, RBI triple, and even legged out a bunt single in a key situation.

Zambrano only trails Soriano and Soto in slugging percentage for Cubs' regulars. Maybe Big Z should be considered as a possible DH in the World Series.

Whoops, my inner-Cedeno just came out. Stay inside Ronny, stay inside...

In more troubling news, fire-baller Carlos Marmol gave up a three run HR in the ninth to make it a one-run game and send Cubs' fans' heartbeats racing, well the few who were still awake, before Kid K came on to close shop.

This has been a worrying trend as Marmol hasn’t looked as dominant as usual lately. It's probably a result of Lou having to send him out there every game, which in turn has forced the Cubs to add a 13^th pitcher to the roster (By the way, Marmol is in need of a nickname, he’s too good to not have one, any suggestions?).

The bats came out swinging again the next day, as the Cubs held off the Padres, 9-6, as Jason Marquis was “Hyde” in his season-long “Jekyll and Hyde” act. This included a balk when the opposing pitcher was on first and issuing five walks. One of them, in the fourth inning, caused Sweet Lou to trot out to the mound and whisper R-rated sweet nothings in Jason’s ear.

"It was one-sided," Marquis said of the conversation. "Obviously, he had some productive words, and we went from there. No hard feelings. He made great points when he went out there."

I can’t tell you what a joy it is, as a Cubs' fan, to watch Lou Piniella after dealing with many incompetent managers over the years.

Lou was also upset that he was forced to use Howry and Wood in the game on a day he didn’t want to, after Kevin Hart, who was just called up, gave up three runs in the eighth.

Jim Hendry needs to address the bullpen situation because there are only three guys that I trust in the bullpen: Howry, Marmol and Woody. They have all been overused already this year, and they are all right-handed.(On the flip-side, Woody's leading the NL in saves).

The Cubs were feeling good (who said they can’t win on the road?), as they had won nine straight going into a game against an old friend, the Mad Dog, Greg Maddux.

Mad Dog put all the Cubs bats to sleep in a 2-1 loss, which ironically wasted the best start on the road trip from Ted Lilly. Maddux’s vintage performance brings up the issue of the Cubs possibly bringing back the greatest RHP of his generation for a third stint.

It might be a good idea because who knows what Marquis will do on a given day, and Maddux will at least rub off valuable knowledge to the young pitchers.

The Cubs rebounded with another exciting one run victory, 5-4, against the Dodgers thanks to Fooky. He won a Japanese league showdown against Takashi Saito by driving in a ninthinning, go-ahead RBI single against Saito, ruining Saito’s bobble-head night.

Of course, the cardiac Cubbies increased Lou’s blood pressure once again, as Bob Howry had given up a game-tying two run HR in the eighth. Kid K notched another save by escaping a bases loaded jam in the ninth.

"It was an exciting game," Piniella said. "I've had all the fun I want for one evening."

Ryan Dempster gave Lou exactly what he didn’t want—a short outing by a starter, going only 5 1/3 innings before being pulled. This has been a troubling trend for Cubs starters and the arms in the bullpen are going to fall off at this rate.

Fooky couldn’t muster anything against another Japanese player the next day, starter Hiroki Kuroda. Kuroda dominated the Cubs' line-up in a complete game four-hit shutout, as the Dodgers won 3-0.

It was another short performance by a Cubs' starter as Sean Gallagher went only five innings, but it was another encouraging outing for the rookie. It was his third straight start in which he has yielded three runs or less.

Surely Lou could count on Big Z to rescue the starters, right?

The only thing that needed rescuing was the Gatorade jugs after Zambrano took out his frustration on them after giving up the lead and five runs in the seventh inning of Saturday’s 7-3 loss. It was a classic Big Z tantrum, and one I’m pretty sure Michael Barrett was glad he wasn’t on the receiving end of.

"I was on the mound, and heard all this commotion," Piniella said. "I thought there was a wave going on [in the stands], and there was no wave. I came back in and said, 'What was all that noise about?' I missed it. If I would've been in the dugout, I probably would've enjoyed it.”

A wave? Did I mention how much I love Piniella?

If anyone can appreciate a tantrum, it is certainly Lou, and he doesn’t mind Big Z’s actions as long as he doesn’t get hurt, a.k.a pull a Brian Randle. While some complain about Zambrano’s antics, it's much more refreshing to see a player wear his emotions on his sleeve, than just go through the motions after struggling or in C.C. Sabathia’s case, head to the clubhouse fridge.

I bet you Zambrano comes out firing on all cylinders in his next start because it's what Zambrano always does after a tantrum. He feels like he has something to prove after a bad outing.

So after six games, the Cubs were at 3-3 on the road trip and one game away from a happy ending or more fuel being added to the fire of their road ineptness.

Who was on the mound for this crucial encounter? Jekyll and Hyde himself, Marquis.

Luckily for Cubs fans, it was Jekyll who showed up on Sunday, pitching 6 1/3 and giving up only one run, before Marmol and Woody took care of business.

There are two interesting things I’d like to point out from Sunday’s game. First, you have to appreciate Marmol’s guts, throwing curve-ball after curve-ball in fastball counts and freezing Dodger’s hitters. I love watching this man pitch.

Also, for the first time in history, I heard Joe Morgan repeatedly say nice things about the Cubs. I was aghast. Has acidulous Joe turned soft in his old years? I don’t know, but usually I can’t stand watching Sunday Night Baseball because of Morgan’s smug attitude, but he might have turned over a new leaf.

Overall, I look at the road-trip as a success. The Cubs finished over .500 on the trip and that’s all you can ask for on the road. There’s only three teams in baseball with better than .500 records on the road and last I checked, there are six division leaders, so people should stop acting like the Cubs are the only team which performs poorly on the road.

The bats struggled at the end of the trip, but you can't expect the team to slug their way to every victory. The Cubs became the first team to reach 40 wins in the league and that was thanks to two victories in a week and on the road by, you guessed it, Jason Marquis.

The West truly is a wild place.

Chicago Bulls' Lucky Bounce—How the Draft Lottery Rescued the Franchise

Majesh Abraham — Thu, 22 May 2008 05:09:59 -0400

Two days ago, I wrote an epic two-part column on how poor draft management since the dynasty days had left the Bulls in dire straits.

I guess the draft lottery gods must have been touched by my story, because in a miraculous turn of events, the Chicago Bulls ended up with the No. 1 pick in this year’s NBA Draft.

The only person happier than me on the planet right now is John Paxson, because a ping-pong ball just saved his job.

Paxson had just spent five years rebuilding Jerry Krause’s mess and assembling a young nucleus that had advanced to the playoffs three years in a row, culminating with a first-round sweep of the then-defending champion Miami Heat.

After being picked by many to win the Eastern Conference, the Bulls, for no discernable reason, played uninspired basketball this year and didn’t even make the playoffs, unraveling Paxson’s carefully constructed plan.

It caused him to fire his head-coach on Christmas, and trade the major free-agent acquisition of his tenure, Ben Wallace, less than two years after signing him.

The Bulls were facing an uncertain future and Paxson was being heavily criticized for many of his decisions, like signing Wallace instead of opting to keep a younger Tyson Chandler.

Paxson also failed to acquire Pau Gasol two years ago, and this year Gasol was traded for two cents on the dollar to the Lakers.

The move I disliked the most, trading LaMarcus Aldridge for Tyrus Thomas, looked disastrous as Aldridge flourished in Portland and Thomas floundered in Chicago.

Finally, Paxson couldn’t even land a coach, Mike D’Antoni, who explicitly stated that he wanted to coach in Chicago (That might not be Paxson’s fault, but he still gets blamed for it).

Pax faced the prospect of blowing up his entire design or risk losing his job, because the team’s once-bright future had dimmed so drastically.

The Bulls had a lottery pick, but he never even entertained the thought of landing a top-five pick, because they had a 81% chance of staying at the ninth pick, and no team had ever made the jump from ninth to first in the current system.

That’s why Paxson wasn’t even there to attend the lottery, and sent Steve Schanwald, who, until yesterday, no Bulls fan had ever heard of.

Here are Schanwald’s thoughts prior to the trip: "I thought it was a waste of time," said the Bulls executive vice president of business operations. "I was just hoping to have a good meal." Sorry, but I have to digress after hearing this comment.

First of all, who in the world does Steve Schanwald think he is to be complaining about a free trip and receiving prime time TV airtime?

I know he has a fancy title, but that was probably made up just to make it seem like the Bulls actually cared about the lottery. You know what Pax, send me to the next lottery as the Bulls representative; I will certainly not consider it a waste of time.

My title, the grand executive associate president of draft lotteries and head recruiter of the Luv-A-Bulls.

I guarantee you that Schanwald is asking for a giant raise right now, as a “waste of time” turned out to be the night that altered the direction of the franchise.

But, before everyone starts planning Grant Park celebrations, lets not forget that the Bulls have been here before. This is the seventh time in the last 10 years that the Bulls have had the No. 4 pick or higher.

The fact that they’ve had that many selections clearly indicates that their draft strategy hasn’t been working.

But this is the first pick, the Bulls can’t mess this up right? (Sighing) Yes, they can, and there will be a fiery debate in Chicago during the next couple of months over whether they should draft Michael Beasley, Derek Rose, or even trade the pick.

But before Bulls fans split our hairs over what Paxson should do (in a future column), lets all just revel in the fact that an offseason that looked so bleak just came out smelling like a…great off-season.

Man U v. Chelsea: A historic day for EPL shines light on its major flaw

Majesh Abraham — Tue, 20 May 2008 12:32:39 -0400

The entire nation of England will be tuned into Moscow on Wednesday on a landmark day for English league football.

It’s historic, but it’s no surprise that Chelsea and Manchester United are the two teams representing England in the final, because along with Liverpool and Arsenal, the “Big Four” has established a big divide between them and the rest of the league.

Four out of the last five years, the Big Four has represented England in the Champions League, and that is unlikely to change anytime soon. 2008 was a banner year, as all four advanced to the quarterfinal stage, and now the stage is set for a final in which an English club is guaranteed to be crowned champions of Europe

Manchester United and Chelsea are two of the highest-spending clubs in Europe, and will always stay in contention because they can simply buy the best talent.

Liverpool is not too far behind. In spite of its squabbling owners, Rafa Benitez shelled out 26 million pounds for superlative striker Fernando Torres, who proved himself to be worth every bit of that staggering amount this season. One can only foresee the Reds’ budget substantially increasing if Dubai International Capital (DIC), the investment arm of the oil-rich United Arab Emirates, succeeds in gaining ownership from the current bumbling owners.

The only Big Four team that looked vulnerable prior to the season was Arsenal, because Arsene Wenger prefers to spend on a budget, and had shed many of his star players in recent years. When talismanic striker and Arsenal legend Thierry Henry was sold to Barcelona this past summer, many thought it would be a rebuilding year for the Gunners.

But Wenger has a keen eye for young talent, and his tyro squad surprised everyone by leading the league for a majority of the season. They also made an impact in the Champions League, knocking out holders AC Milan on the way to the quarterfinals.

Now, Arsenal has the most promising future of the Big Four, because of its talented group of youngsters—a group that certainly will improve as they mature.

Of course, the Gunners can always use the finances derived from being the third-richest club in Europe to their advantage, just in case they ever need to pony up some cash.

Tottenham was supposed to challenge for a Champions League spot this year, but the Spurs were mired in the relegation zone until Juande Ramos took over as manager. Ramos succeeded in bringing Spurs out from the abyss, and won the Carling Cup—upsetting Chelsea in the final.

But even with Ramos, Spurs finished in the middle of the standings, and will need to spend large sums on defenders in the summer to even think about competing with the Big Four.

The only club that mounted a challenge to the established hierarchy was Everton, who fought Liverpool for the fourth and final Champions League spot for much of the year. But the Toffees couldn’t keep up with the Reds at the end, because they simply did not have the talent to match Liverpool.

This is not an insular problem in England, it is seen throughout Europe’s other leagues. Barcelona and Real Madrid have split the last four La Liga titles, and Olympique Lyonnais has reeled off an incredible seven straight Ligue 1 titles. But no other league features four teams that have established a consistent stranglehold on the standings.

The Premier League is already the most lucrative and popular league in the world. Can you imagine how much more exciting it would be if more than four teams were challenging for the title each year?

Tomorrow is a historic day for English football, but the day a team outside of the Big Four wins the Premier League will truly be an occasion to savour.

Chicago Bears: An Exclusive Interview with GM Jerry Angelo

Majesh Abraham — Sun, 18 May 2008 00:53:46 -0400

WWJD?

No, it’s not the man you guys are all thinking about. The most important “J” to Bears fans is the GM Jerry Angelo, because he will determine the future of the Bears this offseason. The Bears could return to their winning ways of two years ago, or continue on their downward slide from last year.

So I decided to go straight to the source, the GM himself, in an exclusive interview that not even Jay Glazer could land.

Q: So Jerry, what were your thoughts on the past Bears’ season?

Jerry: It was a positive year. We sorted out some key issues, and we gathered some momentum by winning the last two games. Momentum is really important at the end of the season, just look at the Packers; they carried the momentum from the end of the ’06 season into the NFC championship game this year.

Q: (Puzzled) Ummm...but Jerry, the Bears went from a Super Bowl team down to 7-9, missed the playoffs, the starting QB got benched, the No. 1 RB looks like a bust, and the only division team they beat was the Packers. Plus, the Packers won the last four games with Brett Favre and a young team that was improving. We won the last two with Mr. Ugly Neckbeard and a veteran team that is regressing.

Jerry: But we beat the Packers twice, and the Packers went all the way to the NFC championship game. So, if you do the math, that would make us the third-best team in the NFC. Plus, I told Kyle I’d give him a $200,000 bonus if he keeps the beard for the remainder of his contract. I wanted to see if he could withstand the pressure to remove it, because that thing is butt-ugly (laughing devilishly), and umm...the ability to handle pressure is a trait that a quarterback must have.

Q: (Laughing in approval) Hilarious, that is quite possibly the smartest thing you‘ve done as a GM, especially considering your math skills. Anyways, QB is the most glaring need on the team, since the Bears don’t have a decent one. How come you didn’t go after one of the top QBs in the draft?

Jerry: See, what the fans don’t realize is that we already have two QBs who have each won multiple games in the NFL. That is a situation the other 31 teams would kill to have. Why draft a young quarterback when we already have two in Rex and Kyle?

Q: But do you really trust your team with a QB like Rex, who shows a knack of getting injured and is wildly inconsistent? Also, Orton doesn’t look like a franchise QB either.

Jerry: The QB position doesn’t even matter, because as Lovie says, we get off the bus running the football, and Cedric Benson is one of the best in the business at getting off the bus.

Q: (Confounded) What does that even mean?! If you had so much confidence in Benson, why did you draft RB Matt Forte in the second round? I heard recent comments from Lovie that it was still Benson’s job to lose. Don’t you think it is beneficial for the team to have a training camp competition for the spot instead of just giving Cedric the starting job?

Jerry: Lovie said what?!(Muttering angrily under his breath) Well, we found out last year that Cedric plays better when he thinks he has competition for the job, so we drafted a RB in the second round to make him think that he’s fighting for a job, but we never intend to give Forte the starting nod.

Q: What are your thoughts on Cedric’s boating incident? You’ve taken a tough stance on off-field issues before, for example with Tank Johnson.

Jerry: Apparently Cedric is not as good at getting off a boat as he is getting off the bus. (Snickering) Sorry, I had to get that in. As for the Bears policy for off the field transgressions, it’s like our President once said, “Fool me once, shame on...umm...shame on you. Fool me...umm...you can't get fooled again.” He’s a smart cookie for coming up with that.

Q: (Rolling my eyes in frustration) I don’t think the President came up...you know what, forget it. Moving on, Bernard Berrian departed via free agency and Muhsin Muhammad was let go because he was old and expensive, leaving the team without its top two WR’s from last year. Marty Booker is back, but he’s not the same player he was during his last stint with the Bears. Are you happy with your WR group?

Jerry: First of all, Marty was great four years ago, and he’s going to be even better now since he has four more years of experience under his belt. Plus, we have the next great WR in the NFL, Devin Hester. Do you know how fast Devin is in Madden? He’s got a 99 speed rating! I’m pretty sure that is going to translate to the field next year.

Q: I totally know what you’re talking about! Every play in Madden I just throw the ball deep to Hester and he outruns the defender to the end-zone every time. So Jerry, the biggest offseason story so far is that your defensive captain, Brian Urlacher, is skipping voluntary offseason workouts because he is upset about his contract. How do you plan to resolve this issue?

Jerry: (Nervous) Ahem, you know there’s a saying out there; do not try to fit a square pig into a round barn, and that’s what we don’t want to do with Brian’s contract. Anyways, I have to go; Ron and I are in an intense battle of Madden. Don’t tell anyone, but Madden is where Ronnie gets his playbook from.

Q: Wait, Jerry you didn’t even answer the question!

Angelo had left before I could sneak in another question. So Bears fans, I hope your fears about the team are eased with training camp coming up. I’m still petrified, so I’m just going to hang on to the memory of the ‘06 Super Bowl team by only playing Madden ’08 for the rest of my life, just like I did with Madden ’03. Well, only until the next version with a good Bears team comes out.

Chicago Bulls: The Rise and Fall of the Baby Bulls

Majesh Abraham — Sat, 17 May 2008 03:12:15 -0400

Continued from part 1…

In the ’05-06 season, without Curry’s inside presence, they struggled early-on until a late-season surge put them back in the playoffs. The Bulls were soon defeated by the Miami Heat.

The following off-season, Pax made two significant moves. Chandler's inability to play offense led Paxson to trade him to the Hornets. Paxson also signed Ben Wallace to a huge free-agent deal.

However, six years after they gave Brand away, the Bulls were still searching for a big man who could score. Paxson drafted LaMarcus Aldridge with the No. 2 pick and then surprisingly, traded Aldridge for the No. 4 pick, Tyrus Thomas, in a trade eerily reminiscent of the Brand trade.

Thomas wasn’t even the best player on the LSU team that year; it was Glen “Big Baby” Davis. But what actually happens on the playing field doesn’t matter around drafts in the sports world, whether it is a diamond, football field or a basketball court. Everyone becomes enthralled by that word again: potential, which basically revolves around physical characteristics displayed in pre-draft workouts.

But physical characteristics don’t always translate onto the professional level, because success on the highest level depends on your mental aptitude. Didn’t the Bulls already make the mistake of trading for a guy on his ability to jump out of the building and dunk on people? Yes, Bulls fan were experiencing déjà vu, it was Tyson Chandler all over again.

That time we traded Brand, this time we traded Aldridge. I’m not saying Aldridge is good as Brand, but he’s averaged 18 points and 7 rebounds per game in his second year, while Tyrus averaged 6 points and 4 rebounds per game.

But I still hear people say that in a couple of years, Aldridge’s and Thomas’s potential could be the same. Do you think Aldridge is not going to get any better because he can’t jump like Tyrus? Hmmmm...I think I’ll put my money on the guy with an offensive aptitude over the guy who can dunk.

The reason why I was shocked that Paxson made that trade because he had emphasized drafting guys who were experienced, like Hinrich, Gordon and Duhon. Aldridge was clearly the more proven commodity, whereas Thomas exploded onto the scene during March Madness.

This trade went against all of Paxson’s standards, which is why I’m convinced that Jerry Krause secretly called David Stern pretending to be the Bulls front office and executed the trade.

Even without an inside presence, the Bulls raced to the third best record in the Eastern conference and then stunned the defending champion Miami Heat by sweeping them in the first round.

In the second round, they faced off against the hated Pistons, and the vaunted Pistons-Bulls rivalry of old was reborn, or so we thought. But it wasn’t much of a contest as the Bulls dropped the first three games.

Then the Pistons, who let up on their opponents unlike any other team in NBA history, lost two in a row, before waking up and putting the Bulls away in game Six.

Even after losing, Bulls fans were optimistic as the playoffs exposed the emergence of a potential superstar in Luol Deng, and with a young core on an upward swing, this was a team that everyone expected to be perennial playoff contenders. Also, they had another lottery pick in the draft, thanks to Isiah!

In a cruel twist of fate, the Bulls ended up with the ninth pick, thanks to Eddy Curry’s late game heroics. If the Knicks lost their last game, the Bulls would have had Portland's odds in the lottery, and we all know how that turned out.

The Bulls had no chance of getting a solid big man, so the pick should have been traded away, but Paxson stayed put. Paxson’s actions are made more painful this year considering this was a year of star trades, including a Chicago favorite, KG, and the guy Paxson couldn’t get, Pau Gasol.

Instead he drafted Joakim Noah, because after being burned by Thomas, he went back to his method of drafting experienced winners.

As it turns out, Noah is a poor man’s Tyrus. He is another big man who has no offensive skills, and doesn’t even have the athletic ability of Tyrus. But he hustles!

That’s great. I love guys who hustle, especially if you are debating about whether the guy should make the roster, but not a lottery pick. But Noah was intended to be a role player to a solid nucleus, so many picked the Bulls to win the Eastern Conference this year.

The team struggled mightily out of the gate, an annual tradition that coincides with the circus trip. Surely, there wasn’t a reason to panic.

Unfortunately, the Bulls never recovered, Scott Skiles was fired, Jim Boylan was hired as a lame-duck coach, and the team “leader” was traded. Some say the Kobe trade talks had distracted the team, but Paxson put that to rest before the season started.

The rest of the league had simply caught up to their weakness, the lack of an inside scoring presence, and the Bulls defense wasn’t good enough to make up for their lack of offense. A post option could have created easy looks for the Bulls' plethora of shooters. They sorely need a player they can revolve their offense around, because on many occasions the team looks lost on offense.

Now the Bulls face an uncertain future. They couldn’t hire the coach they wanted, Mike D’Antoni, and there is no clear second option. Two key parts of their nucleus, Ben Gordon and Luol Deng, are restricted free-agents this year, after both turned down contract extensions from the team last year. Kirk Hinrich has regressed from the form that netted him a $47.5 million deal.

They have two veterans, Larry Hughes and Drew Gooden, whose future with the team is questionable. Hughes has a huge contract, which the Bulls might not want to pay, for someone so inconsistent. Gooden is used to being a starter at PF, but the team is probably inclined to let Tyrus Thomas start and see what they truly have.

The off-season will determine the direction of the franchise, and it is Paxson’s most important, and possibly last as GM. But it never should have come to this point.

Would the Bulls be here if they still had Brand? Of course not, who knows where they would have been? Krause might be still GM. But that was a mistake, and every huge team has that one huge blunder they would love to take back. The key is learning from your mistakes, so you do not repeat them. Thus, the mistake that will haunt Bulls fans is the Aldridge-Thomas trade, because the Bulls would be a completely different team with Aldridge on the floor.

The draft can single-handedly alter the direction of a franchise, look at Jordan, Duncan, and LeBron. That is why fans last year where hoping their teams would tank to get a shot at drafting Durant or Oden.

While No. 23 was in town, Bulls fans’ didn’t have to worry about draft management, and we could cheer for the rookies like college fans root for walk-ons who never get off the bench. I never thought I’d say this, but how I long for the days of Jason Caffey and Dickey Simpkins.

Chicago Bulls: Lost Opportunites and a Fallen Dynasty

Majesh Abraham — Fri, 16 May 2008 01:57:37 -0400

When the champion is crowned this summer at the NBA finals, it will signal the 10-year anniversary of the Bulls winning their last championship. Has it been a decade already?

Even though it seems like it was only yesterday that Jordan & Co. were
lighting up the NBA circuit during the dynasty days, those memories linger due to the lack of new ones to take their place.

True Bulls fans can attest that it has been a long and painful decade, filled with
bumbling GM's, bad coaches, a slew of terrible players, and of course the word
that I have come to loathe, rebuilding.

Even then, the most scarring memory of the last decade was seeing his Airness in that hideous Wizards jersey. Is there a way to remove surgically remove images from my brain? I really want to pretend that never happened.

The off-season after the final championship, Bulls fans knew they were due for a
rebuilding plan after the dismantling of the dynasty. A decade later, Bulls fans know they are due for another rebuilding plan after a season with Hindenburg-sized expectations has crashed and burned just like the actual aircraft.

How did the Bulls get here? There are several reasons, but the Bulls failures can be attributed to one theme that has haunted them since the Jordan years: poor draft management. Back in the dynasty days, the players who served as the butt of Bulls’ fan jokes were always the first round draft picks. Given, they were late first-round picks, but these guys were atrocious. Mark Randall, Byron Houston, the great Corie Blount, my favorite Dickey Simpkins, second-favorite Jason Caffey, Travis Knight, Keith Booth, and Corey Benjamin. Yes, those are the consecutive first-round picks after the Bulls began their championship run.

It was fun to laugh at these picks when you have his Airness on your team, but
they had a much higher impact after Jordan retired. Bulls’ fans thankfully only had to suffer through a strike-shortened season in 1999, but after watching a dynasty for the greater part of a decade, watching Toni Kukoc, Randy Brown, Ron Harper, Brent Barry, and Bill Wennington (that’s the opening day starting line-up from that year) was equivalent to getting a root canal without the anesthesia.

It was worth it, because they got the No. 1 pick, and a franchise player in Elton
Brand. The ideal player to build around, a 6-foot-10 power forward, a smaller Tim Duncan, whose impact would be aggrandized in the East, because there were no other quality big men in the East at that time. (For those scoffing at the Duncan remark, look at their stats, they are pretty similar). Also, with the 16th pick that year we drafted Ron Artest, although Bulls fans are probably glad now that we never kept him.

Even with Brand, the Bulls languished in the NBA cellar, which wasn’t that bad,
because as a result they possessed three first round-picks in the following draft. Two came from trades made during the dynasty dismantling. The Bulls had two lottery picks, No. 4 and No. 8, to go along the 24th pick. A smart GM would have probably traded at least one of those picks, but we had the bumbling, stumbling Jerry Krause.

Drum roll please…and with the fourth pick of the NBA draft, the Bulls select PF Marcus Fizer. This pick had everything to do with the fact that then-coach Tim Floyd coached Fizer at Iowa State, but why would you spend a lottery pick on a player who plays the same position as your franchise player? Again, it’s Jerry Krause and it gets worse. Krause picked up Gary Payton’s protégé Jamal Crawford, and the 24th pick was spent on Vlade Divac’s long lost cousin Dalibor Bagaric. Also, later on that season, two future all-stars from that team, Brad Miller and Artest, was traded for Jalen Rose and a box of Twinkies for Jerry.

Fizer was a bust, but Crawford could at least score. However, his most perplexing quality was that for a guy who spent his summers working out with the Glove, he is allergic to defense. Also, Crawford is too small to play SG, thus he plays out of position at PG, which he can’t play because he has a shoot-first mentality. Of course, Isiah Thomas signed him to a $65 million contract. (I wonder if Isiah spent his summers training on how to be a GM at Krause’s house.)

Oh yeah, and Dalibor disappeared off the face of the earth. However, I choose to believe that one day a young European boy will be lost in the jungle and happen upon Bagaric’s wilderness home, where Dalibor will take the young man under his wings, like Mr. Miyagi did with a young Daniel LaRusso, and teach him to play basketball. Just wait until the 2025 draft, I tell you!

Then came the draft that altered the history of the Bulls, as Krause made the worst trade in the history of the franchise, when he traded Elton Brand, the "franchise", for Tyson Chandler. That single move started the domino effect that ultimately led to the current Bulls situation. I could write a whole another column about that trade, but I’ll limit it to this. Brand averaged 20 and 10 in his first two years! How much more potential could he have possibly thought Tyson Chandler had, to trade a guy who averaged 20 and 10, in his first TWO years.

Bulls’ fans all knew Jerry was going to draft Eddy Curry that year with the fourth
pick, but the Brand trade was a complete stunner to Bulls fans. If Krause wanted to follow San Antonio’s twin towers philosophy, why not do it with a proven
commodity such as Brand, and a rookie like Curry, as the Spurs did with an
established David Robinson, and the rookie Tim Duncan? Of course, the Bulls
regressed and Bulls fans were left dealing with a rebuilding plan within a rebuilding plan.

Unlike in ’99, in ’02, the Bulls ineptness was rewarded with the No. 2 pick, and
instead of having the chance to draft the franchise player, Yao Ming, the Bulls were stuck with the artist formerly known as Jaison Williams. Of course, Jay, proceeded to destroy his NBA career in a motorcycle accident. Yao at No. 1 and Williams at No. 2 makes me wish somebody kept a stat of largest difference in value between consecutive draft picks. Of course Jordan and Bowie would be No.1, but Peyton Manning and Ryan Leaf would be up there, and how would KG and “Big Country” Reeves stack up. Come on STATS Inc.!

This thankfully concluded the Jerry Krause era in Bulls history, and it was left to
Mr. Clutch, John Paxson, to pick up the pieces. Of course, the best thing that
Paxson initially did was create a new draft strategy. He placed an emphasis on
drafting high-character guys who were experienced and were winners in college.

In 2003, Paxson drafted Kirk Hinrich to replace Williams, a solid point guard who had led Kansas to multiple Final Four runs. Crawford was moved in a sign and trade to the Knicks, which was also the beginning of Paxson’s goal to shed the team of all the bad influences from the Krause era.

In the following draft, he drafted SG Ben Gordon, who played on the national
champion Huskies. He also traded the 2005 first rounder for SF Luol Deng, who
played on Duke, a team that is always winning. He also signed free-agent Andres Nocioni, part of Argentina’s gold-medal team. Paxson had assembled a nucleus of Gordon, Deng, Hinrich, Nocioni, Chandler and Curry (who at that point were still protected by their potential). After suffering through Tim Floyd, and Bill
Cartwright, they finally found a good coach in Scott Skiles, who made sure that
these guys played hard, and the Bulls finally reached the playoffs, after six long and torturous years. They would lose to the Wizards in the first round, but the sky was the limit, because they had a young and developing core.

Then the pieces started falling apart. Curry had been diagnosed with an irregular
heartbeat, causing him to miss the playoffs. In the offseason, Curry refused to
take a DNA test which would have indicated if Curry had hypertrophic
cardiomyopathy, the same disease that afflicted Reggie Lewis and Hank Gathers,
and ultimately led to their deaths.

The Bulls made the right move in trying to find out if Curry could die playing basketball. They even offered him a contract for the rest of his life if he was diagnosed with the disease. Paxson’s hand was forced, but he still managed to swindle the great Isiah in a trade for Curry.

Paxson received two first round draft picks from Thomas, at a point when the Knicks were dive-bombing towards the lottery, and nobody in the NBA thought the situation would get any better with the dysfunctional Thomas leading the team.

The Bulls had TWO POTENTIAL LOTTERY PICKS, and one of them in the vaunted Greg Oden/Kevin Durant draft class. Those were exactly the pieces that the Bulls needed to acquire a superstar, aka the Big Ticket, Kevin Garnett. But unfortunately, Paxson would begin to walk in the footsteps of Krause.

Continued in Part 2.....