Bleacher Report - Articles by Darkside Kessler

Al Davis Found Dead of Apparent Heart Attack! (HUMOR)

Darkside Kessler — Mon, 06 Oct 2008 10:49:15 -0400

The body of Oakland Raiders Managing General Partner, Al Davis, was discovered this morning. Early reports state that the death was caused by a massive heart attack.

Amy Trask, CEO of the organization, was on the phone this morning when the apparent heart attack occurred.

Miss Trask stated that she and Davis were discussing how they could prove their false allegations of player tampering by the New England Patriots when the door bell rang. Davis put the phone down to answer the door.

Miss Trask stated she believes that is when heart attack occurred. When asked why she feels that way, Trask said she heard someone say, "You have been served, Kiffin sends his regards," then Davis started screaming obscenities, then all was quiet.

Calls to Lane Kiffin have gone unanswered.

Then my alarm clock went off.

Songs That Describe the NFL Teams

Darkside Kessler — Mon, 14 Jul 2008 10:41:52 -0400

I think it's time to have a little fun. I need total fan participation on this one.

I have come up with some songs that describe certain NFL teams. Some are funny, some serious, and some completely biased based on my particular team affiliation. As comments are posted, I will update the teams with songs that you have put. Remember, this is supposed to be fun.

Raiders: Disturbed, Indestructible (told you I was biased)

Patriots: Carey Underwood, Before He Cheats

Falcons: Who Let the Dogs Out

Giants: Do You Believe In Magic, Old McDonald's Theme

49ers: It's Raining Men

Rams: Mary had a Little Lamb

Browns: Cleveland Rocks, Drew Carey Theme

Saints: Marilyn Manson, sAINT

Chargers: AC/DC, Thunderstruck (thanx Jordan)

Packers: Lynyrd Skynyrd, Freebird (thanx Caleb)

Let's see if we can get all 32 teams.

Is Raider Nation a Bandwagon?

Darkside Kessler — Fri, 11 Jul 2008 12:22:45 -0400

This isn't so much an article as it is a question that I wish to receive an answer to. I was recently reading an article here and found a 49er fan call the whole Raider Nation a bunch of bandwagoner's (not sure if that's a word).

Being a Raider fan, I will give my biased opinion, with examples of why I feel we aren't. First to address that particular 49er fan who inspired this article. You are posting negative comments all over this site on RAIDER blogs with upwards of 50 comments.

Just the shear amount of comments should tell you that the Raider fans are numerous, and the time in which these comments are being posted (basically when the Raiders suck, sorry guys, we do right now) should say a lot about our faithfulness.

Yeah we talk a lot of crap, and we are ALWAYS optimistic about the upcoming season, but what true fan wouldn't be? Yes the Raiders have had trouble selling out in the last few years, but all teams have times when they don't sell out.

However, the ones that haven't been having trouble, such as the Chargers, is because they have more fans from opposing teams than their own. They also have the stupid rule where if you buy tickets to an AFC West opponent game, you have to buy tickets to three more games. Not really a true sign of how well they are selling.

I have been too many Raider games in both San Diego and Oakland, Oakland sells Raider gear at its games, but if you go to San Diego and watch the Raiders, they sell Raider gear and Charger gear. Sad I tell ya.

I once spoke to a sports store owner in San Diego where I live and asked him to tell me why there is so much Raider gear in his store? He said, and I quote, "It pays the bills."

Sorry Charger fans if I am calling you out, but it is the best example I can give since I live here and know how it is. Bandwagon fans are all over, every team has them, but some teams are worse than others, San Diego is another prime example.

You see all the colors when their winning, but what happened when they lost a playoff game to the Jets after missing two game winning field goals? The merch started disappearing. Again, Charger fans I am just pulling from what I know.

So, do I think Raider Nation is a Bandwagon? No I don't, but I would like to hear from everyone on this, especially fans of other teams.

Darren McFadden: Savior Or Bust?

Darkside Kessler — Wed, 14 May 2008 04:31:22 -0400

I was not a huge fan of this pick for Oakland. We had players on the board that would have been of more help to our team; however, here we are, and now we need to know if D Mac is going to help us become contenders once again.

One of the big questions is his ball control. In the last three years, D Mac has fumbled quite a bit. But as we all know, he played special teams, he filled in at QB, and got some reps as a WR. Returning is no easy task, especially when you are the main guy at your position. So his comfort level as a returner was not very high.

Filling in at QB is probably more nerve racking then special teams. QBs mishandle the center snap all the time, and that is when they are doing it all the time. It's no wonder he fumbled. Over half of his fumbles came while playing ST and QB.

Look at it from another point of view. He was involved in 785 running plays, 46 receiving plays, 38 returns, and 22 passing plays for a total of 891 plays, dropping the ball 23 times, and only losing nine. That isn't great, but it isn't as bad, as most people are saying, and the coaching staff is hard at work trying to give our new boy sticky hands.

Next is leg strength. This boy has an amazing muscle structure from the waist up, but his leg seem kinda small. He has agility and speed, but I think he lacks the ability to bulldoze through opposing DL and LBs. Again, this is something the coaching staff knows and will be working on during the offseason.

Another thing going against D Mac is the fact that we have a back in Fargas that has proven to be a great asset to our team. He may be a little on the fragile side, but does that really matter when standing right next to him on the sidelines is D Mac and Michael Bush.

Which brings me to my next point. We have Michael Bush, and at 6'2" 245lbs, this guy is power and speed. If D Mac is a Ferrari, Bush is a Porsche with armor plating. The trio will more than likely be placed in a three-back committee rotation, at least at the beginning. And think about the two-back sets we can run. Wow!

Finally, and in my opinion the most important thing, does he threaten the players on the other side of the ball? In a word, YES. He is an unknown that is expected to do well. The Raiders like making a splash in the draft, and now they have done it two years straight.

Not only is D Mac going to become a powerhouse RB for the Nation (this year I believe), but he is going to help J Russ become a feared QB. They can't only key on the one, they have to watch them both. I feel the Raiders are a better team now than they were on Apr. 25.

D Mac has brought more than talent to the Nation, he has brought hope, desire, and confidence, three things that have been missing for the last five years. This is our time.

Many people, myself included, question the decision making of Al Davis. The decision to pick up D Mac was thought to be the wrong decision by many, myself included. But after taking an objective look at our situation, Al was right with this one. No matter what D Mac does, he can only make us better. I feel an excitement surrounding the Nation that I haven't felt in a long time. This is the beginning of our rise back to greatness.

With the 4th Pick, Oakland Selects... I Just Hope It Isn't Darren McFadden

Darkside Kessler — Mon, 21 Apr 2008 15:12:03 -0400

The draft is coming up quick. We have 5 days left till NFL fans can start thinking about Fantasy Football, and make predictions about how well their team will do. The Draft signifies the beginning of the 2008 NFL Season. So here we go.

I am a huge Raider fan. I have been a member of the Raider Nation for as long as I can remember. As members of the Raider Nation, we get to speculate on who our owner will decide to pick in the draft, since he is very tight lipped about his selection. Many of my fellow citizens may disagree with me here, but I hope to god we pass on Darren McFadden. There are three main reasons why.

#1-Current RB's on Roster:

Let's start with Justin Fargas. Over the years, since Fargas was selected by Oakland, he hasn't really turned any heads. Maybe he worked out more, maybe it was the new zone blocking scheme, who knows, but something changed last year. He got over 1000 yds in 9 starts. What if he had started all season? He could have possibly gained 1800 yds. He has become a true threat in the NFL. He has explosive speed, he has great vision and he has the ability to get those hard yards. Maybe he just needed someone (Kiff) to believe in him.

Next on the list is Michael Bush. He was cleared by doctors midway through last season. That was 14 months after his injury. From that point, he had an additional 10 months before he will get his first chance to prove himself. That is 2 full years to rehab that leg. The leg will be fine. The question here is, "Has he lost anything off his game after being gone for two years?" I believe the answer is no. This guy dropped from a top prospect to the 4th round because of that injury and I believe he has something to prove. Not just to the Raider Nation or the NFL, but to himself. He wants to be that guy that should have gone in the top ten. Enough about that, let's talk about what he will bring to the table. The guy is around 6'4" and 240lbs. He is the size of Brandon Jacobs, but with better speed and agility. He will be a monster inside, but he will gain plenty going to the corner. The tandem of Fargas and Bush should give any opposing Dline & LB core nightmares. Why, because no matter who is in, you will not be able to guess the play. Fargas has better speed, but his ability in between the tackles is top notch, and Bush's size and strength make him a better up the gut runner, but if he gets around the corner, he's gone. Any play, any formation, either RB. I like that.

Here is where we have a bit of a question. Rhodes or Jordan? There has been a lot of speculation that one of these two will be gone next season. Let's look at what they bring to the table. Jordan, in his first season as a Raider gained over 1000 yds as a rusher and was only 6 receptions behind team leader Jerry Porter who had 76. The guy was great, however, he had to sit his final two games due to injury and he hasn't been able to keep himself healthy since. his stats continue to decline as well as his ability. Now Rhodes, he may not be great, but he gained over 120 yds in his SB appearance with the Colts and scored a TD. he stays healthy he loves to play, and I feel he can still make a huge impact, and he would be our #3. I pick Rhodes whether Jordan is still a Raider or not.

#2-The Reggie Bush Experiment:

I don't know how many people I told that when Reggie gets into the NFL, he will not be as good. Everyone expected to see the Reggie that played for a National Title against Vince Young, and man was that an exciting game. RB is one of the easiest transitions from college to pros, but Reggie just didn't have the strength. He is fast and agile, but in the NFL so are lineman. You cannot rely on your speed to get you around the corner. What happens when you get there and someone from your enemy is there, you turn around and run the other way, in college that works because a lot of college players don't stay disciplined and cover their assignments, those mistakes happen far less in the NFL. So when Reggie would turn to run the other way, the enemy was still there. I expect much of the same with D Mac. He will grow and get stronger someday, but we need to win right now.

And Finally #3-Lineman, Lineman, Lineman:

What does Oakland need? Just look up. Oline, Dline, it doesn't matter we need both. We need to stop the run and we need to keep J Russ on his feet. There are many good lineman that we will have the chance at getting, but my hope is Chris Long. This kid grew up standing on the sidelines with many of the Silver and Black greats. He was born and bred a RAIDER. There is no other person I want more in this draft than THE SON OF HOWIE.

What are your thoughts?