Bleacher Report - Articles by Jeff D Gorman

Indie Wrestling: Ray Rowe Wins Firestorm Title at War Games

Jeff D Gorman — Sat, 11 Jul 2009 23:49:21 -0400

Cleveland wrestling took a huge step forward on July 10 as Firestorm Pro Wrestling presented War Games.

The 18-month history of the promotion was built to one match, as “Big League” John McChesney put his title on the line in an Eight-Man Cage Match against a team chosen by Firestorm's owner JC, with ownership of the company on the line as well as the title.

Before the match, McChesney said that as the new Firestorm owner, he would raise ticket prices, burn down the Phantasy Theatre, and move Big League Pro Wrestling to Quicken Loans Arena, the home of elite athletes like LeBron James, Shaquille O’Neal, and himself.

JC played his hand by announcing that he had sold 45 percent of the company to his friend Waylon, lead singer of Mushroomhead, as an insurance policy.

That way, if his team somehow lost, a man who shared his vision for Firestorm would still be around as a minority owner.

Team Big League consisted of J-Rocc, Shane Taylor, Bill Collier, and McChesney. Fighting for Firestorm were Patrick Hayes, The Aftermath, Starless, and Ray Rowe.

At the end of the match, McChesney was ready to put Rowe through a table but decided instead to rub it in by grabbing Rowe’s fiancée Samantha, who had been thrown into the cage, and kissing her on the lips.

The enraged Rowe knocked McChesney into the cage and suplexed the 350-pound Taylor through a table for the winning pin.

War Games was one of the three best shows I’ve announced in my 15-year career, in the mix with IWC Super Indy I and the ROH All-Star Extravaganza, both in 2002.

Firestorm’s booking is solid, and the wrestlers give absolutely everything they have.

The next Firestorm show is on Aug. 21. Check them out on the Web for details as they are updated.

Total Team Wrestling Round Two: Raven's Flock Dissolved!

Jeff D Gorman — Sat, 30 May 2009 22:56:55 -0400

Sirens blare as Perry Saturn comes out to his WWF music with Kidman and Kanyon to start round two of Total Team Wrestling.

“Raven got mad at us for losing on the last show,” Kidman says, “so he went to TNA. So, the Flock is dissolved. We’re going to be in a 20-man battle royal. The top four will be the new team, and the winner will be the captain. Let’s go, guys.”

“Wait a minute,” Kanyon says. “I have a question.”

“Yes?”

“Who better than Kanyon!”

“Everybody!” the fans reply.

Perry Saturn gets the mic.

“You’re welcome.”

Match One: 20-Man "New Team" Battle Royale

Fourth place: Gangrel
Third place: PAC (British cruiserweight)
Second place: Kevin Thorn
First place: “The King of Old School” Steve Corino

They take over the point total of Raven’s Flock (zero). The team is called "Corino’s Kingdom."

Next up are eight matches that will feature all 16 captains in singles or tag team action.

Each match will be worth five points. The winners will send two non-captains into a 16-man Royal Rumble in tonight’s main event for five bonus points.

Match Two

Filth and Fury (zero points)
Teddy Hart
Josh Prohibition
"M-Dogg 20" Matt Cross
Blitzkrieg

Versus

Club Extreme (five Points)
Rob Van Dam
Sandman
Sabu
New Jack

Rob Van Dam pinned Teddy Hart with a five-star frog splash.

Club Extreme gets five points and is now tied with Team Canada for first place.

Match Three

new WORLD order (zero points)
Scott Hall
X-Pac
Scott Norton
FAKE Sting (with kidnapped Simply Luscious)

Versus

Full-Blooded Italians (zero points)
Tracey Smothers
Nunzio
Big Vito
Johnny the Bull

Scott Hall, X-Pac, and Fake Sting beat Tracey Smothers, Nunzio, and Johnny the Bull when X-Pac pinned Smothers with his feet on the ropes.

The Congregation came out to rescue Simply Luscious, but Norton picked her up and powered his way through a pile of bodies as all three teams brawled.

The nWo is on the board.

“Score five points for the good guys,” Hall says.

Match Four

Big Shots (five points)
Hardcore Holly
The KISS Demon
Colt Cabana
Ace Steel

Versus

Job Squad (zero points)
Al Snow
2 Cold Scorpio
Blue Meanie
Gillberg

Hardcore Holly pinned Al Snow with the Alabama Slam.

Five points go to the Big Shots, who are also in a tie for the lead with 10 points.

Match Five

Natural Born Thrillers (zero points)
Sean O’Haire
Chuck Palumbo
Mike Sanders
Shawn Stasiak

Versus

The Congregation (five points)
Pope Elijah Burke
Xavier
Elix Skipper
“The Alpha Male” Monty Brown

Former WCW tag team champions Palumbo and O’Haire beat Xavier and Burke when Palumbo pinned Xavier after the Full Throttle.

After the match, Monty Brown hit the POUNCE! on Stasiak.

Match Six

Dead Pool (five points)
Vampiro
Jean-Pierre Lafitte
Great Muta
Berlyn
(with Bam Neely)

Versus

Mexicools (five points)
Juventud Guerrera
Psicosis
Super Crazy
La Parka

This was a finisher vs. finisher match, because both captains use the Michinoku driver (the Juvi driver vs. the Nail in the Coffin). Juvi hit the move off the top rope and the crowd went wild as he scored the win.

“If you smell what da Juice is cooking!” Juvi said.

Mexicools move into a tie for first by picking up five points.

Match Seven

Future Endeavors (five points)
Chris Harris
Tyson Tomko
Ryan Braddock
Kizarny

Versus

Corino's Kingdom (zero points)
Steve Corino
Gangrel
PAC
Kevin Thorn

It’s an eight-man tag. Corino’s Kingdom wins when Gangrel pins Kizarny after an Implant DDT.

The new team of Corino’s Kingdom has its first five points.

Match Eight

Too Cool (zero points)
Rikishi
Brian Christopher
Scotty 2 Hotty
Ernest “The Cat” Miller

Versus

Team Big League (five points)
“Big League” John McChesney
Amazing Red
Paul London
Joey Mercury (with Larry Sweeney and Shane Taylor)

Rikishi pins McChesney after a Stinkface and Rikishi driver. Red, London, and Mercury carry Big League to the back and "accidentally" drop him in the aisle.

Too Cool is on the board with five points.

Match Nine

Prophecy Factor (zero points)
Justin Credible
Albert
BJ-J Whitmer
Danny Maff (with Allison Danger)

Versus

Team Canada (10 points)
Lance Storm
Val Venis
Petey Williams
Johnny Devine

Former ECW tag team champions collide as Storm faces Credible. The Battle of the Impact Players is won by Credible with his “That’s Incredible” pile driver.

Prophecy Factor picks up its first five points.

Match 10

Main Event—Royal Rumble
La Parka (Mexicools)
X-Pac (nWo)
PAC (Corino’s Kingdom)
Shawn Stasiak (Thrillers)
Sandman (Club Extreme)
Brian Christopher (Too Cool)
BJ-J Whitmer (Prophecy Factor)
Sabu (Club Extreme)
KISS Demon (Big Shots)
Kevin Thorn (Corino’s Kingdom)
Mike Sanders (Thrillers)
Ernest “The Cat” Miller (Too Cool)
Colt Cabana (Big Shots)
Psicosis (Mexicools)
Danny Maff (Prophecy Factor)
Scott Norton (nWo)

Colt Cabana wins by pulling down the top rope, sending Scott Norton crashing to the floor. The nWo attacks Cabana, but Hardcore Holly clears the ring with a steel chair.

Simply Luscious sneaks out the front door, escaping her captivity by the nWo.

Big Shots gain an extra five points. After two rounds, Hardcore Holly’s team is in first place with 15 points. Good night, fans!

Total Team Wrestling Round 1: Leaked Backstage Script!

Jeff D Gorman — Sat, 23 May 2009 16:32:42 -0400

Guys, thanks for being a part of Total Team Wrestling. All you have major-league talent, and I think the public is ready to see something different.

You will always come to the ring with your entire team to your team theme song. The only exception is Club Extreme for Sandman and New Jack.

If you’re not wrestling, sit on your team’s bench, cheer for your team, and don’t interfere. The only exceptions are Extreme Rules and Raven’s Rules matches.

Only managers can actually be at ringside: that includes Simply Luscious, Allison Danger, Bill Alfonzo, n.W.o. Vincent, Bam Neely, and Larry Sweeney, plus Shane Taylor as Sweeney’s bodyguard. You are the only ones allowed right next to the ring.

Teams are building up points all year toward the TTW Cup, kind of like NASCAR. I haven’t decided who will win the Cup, and it could be any of the 16 teams.

So work hard, get yourselves over and you might win! That will mean a real (not just storyline) financial bonus, plus I’m sure you’ll sell lots of merchandise.

All of tonight’s matches will be worth five points. The eight winning teams will send their captains into the main event. That winner will get another five points, so we will have a first-round leader tonight.

MATCH 1

Natural Born Thrillers (Captain Sean O’Haire, Chuck Palumbo, Mike Sanders, and Shawn Stasiak) come out to Thriller, but no dancing! That gimmick is finished.

Mexicools (Captain Juventud Guerrera, Psciosis, Super Crazy, and La Parka) ride out on the Juan Deere tractors. You should always park them on the four corners of the ring and you can perform spots off them.

Singles match: Sanders vs. Crazy. Sanders looks strong, but Crazy rallies to win with the Triple Moonsault. Big Mexicools celebtration; we want the Latino population to get behind them!

Mexicools get five points.

MATCH 2

Team Canada (Captain Lance Storm, Val Venis, Petey Williams, and Johnny Devine) comes out to O Canada.

Too Cool (Rikishi, Brian Christopher, Scotty 2 Hotty, and Ernest Miller) come out to the Too Cool WWF theme.

Tag team match: Brian and Scotty vs. Venis and Devine

Competitive match. Val shoves Brian off the top and hits the Money Shot for the pin. Scotty hits the WORM on Val after the match.

Team Canada gets five points.

MATCH 3

Club Extreme entrance: It’s just Captain Rob Van Dam and Sabu with Bill Alfonzo coming out to “Walk” by Pantera.

JOB Squad (Captain Al Snow, 2 Cold Scorpio, Blue Meanie, and Gillberg) with mannequin-head entrance to “Breathe” by Prodigy.

Brawl starts. One minute in, "Enter Sandman" hits for Sandman’s beer-drinking entrance. Four minutes in, New Jack comes out with the weapons to “Natural Born Killers.”

Crazy weapons fight ends with New Jack hitting a guitar shot off the top on Meanie for the pin.

Club Extreme gets five points.

MATCH 4

New World Order comes through the crowd to nWo theme song (Captain Scott Hall, X-Pac, Scott Norton, and nWo Sting). Scott cuts “survey” promo. Score one more for the good guys.

Congregation comes out (Pope Elijah Burke in popemobile, Xavier, Elix Skipper, and Monty Brown) with Simply Luscious.

Singles match: X-Pac vs. Skipper. Elix scores the upset with the Play of the Day, but the nWo kidnaps Simply Luscious and takes her away through the crowd.

Congregation gets five points.

MATCH 5

FBI entrance to Stayin’ Alive. It’s Captain Tracey Smothers, Nunzio, Big Vito, and Johnny the Bull, with “The Big Don” Tommy Rich. Dance it up!

Big Shots come out to Hardcore Holly’s WWF theme. Holly leads Colt Cabana, Ace Steel, and the KISS Demon.

Six man: Vito, Nunzio and Johnny vs. Colt, Ace, and Demon. Holly comes off the bench during a six-way brawl and waffles Nunzio with a chair to set up a pin.

Remember, Holly is our Stone Cold. He breaks the rules and does whatever he wants. Demon grabs the Italian flag, hits Rich with it and gives him the Love Gun! through the table. Rich leaves on a stretcher.

Big Shots over strong with five points.

INTERMISSION

No babyfaces or heels, so you should all be our there taking pictures, selling T-shirts, and trying to get the fans behind your team. Be creative in your marketing!

MATCH 6

Future Endeavors (Captain Chris Harris, Tyson Tomko, Ryan Braddock, and Kizarny) come out to “Hey You” by Scorpions.

Raven leads his Flock (Kanyon, Saturn, and Kidman). Kanyon shows loyalty to Raven by cutting the “Who Betta Than Kanyon?” promo, saying that only Raven is betta than Kanyon.

Singles match: Tomko vs. Saturn. Tomko powers out of the Rings of Saturn, hits the big boot and then the two-hand chokeslam for the pin. We’re putting Tomko over strong.

Five points to the Future Endeavors.

Raven is mad, so he hits the Raven Effect on Saturn and walks out the front door. Kidman and Kanyon help Saturn to the back.

MATCH 7

The Dead Pool comes out (Captain Vampiro, Berlyn, Great Muta, and Jean-Pierre Lafitte) with Bam Neely to “Bloodletting (The Vampire Song)” by Concrete Blonde.

The Filth and The Fury comes out (Teddy Hart, Matt Cross, Josh Prohibition, and Blitzkrieg) to “Nitro (Youth Energy)” by The Offspring.

Tag match: Matt and Josh vs. Muta and Lafitte.

Bam tries to throw a bucket of blood onto Josh on the floor, but he soaks Berlyn instead. This is Bam’s gimmick: always trying to help, always messing up.

Muta blinds Matt with the mist and pins him after a moonsault.

Dead Pool on the board with five points.

MATCH 8

Team Big League comes out to “Real Big” by Mattie Fresh with Captain John McChesney, Paul London, Amazing Red, and Joey Mercury, plus Larry Sweeney and Shane Taylor.

Prophecy Factor comes out to “Disposable Teens” by Marilyn Manson. It’s Capt. Justin Credible, Albert, BJ-J Whitmer, and Danny Maff with Allison Danger.

Singles match: Credible vs. Mercury. Sweeney trips Credible off the ropes, and Mercury hits a small package for the pin.

Mercury is kind of embarrassed that cheating led to his win. McChesney and Taylor lift Sweeney onto their shoulders to celebrate, as if Sweeney deserves all the credit.

Team Big League picks up five points.

MATCH 9 – MAIN EVENT – 8-MAN CAPTAIN’S BATTLE ROYALE

Come out in the order you won the matches. So it’s:

Juventud Guerrera (Mexicools)

Lance Storm (Team Canada)

Rob Van Dam (Club Extreme)

Pope Elijah Burke (Congregation)

Hardcore Holly (Big Shots)

Chris Harris (Future Endeavors)

Vampiro (Dead Pool) and

John McChesney (Team Big League)

Final two are Storm and Burke. Hardcore Holly tries to get back into the ring with a chair, distracting Burke long enough for Storm to dropkick him out of the ring.

Lance Storm wins five points, and Team Canada is our first-round leader.

Lance, cut an anti-American promo and make sure to mention the Coyotes hockey team coming back to Canada since we’re in Phoenix tonight. Devine, wave the Canadian flag, and O Canada takes us out.

Thanks again, and be safe out there!

Welcome to Total Team Wrestling! (Part One)

Jeff D Gorman — Wed, 06 May 2009 16:56:17 -0400

[Fireworks explode as the nWo theme plays.]

Jeff Gorman: Welcome to the debut of Total Team Wrestling! We are live in Trenton, N.J., for the kickoff party of the greatest team competition in wrestling history.

We have a night full of action for you, plus we will find out the lineups for all 16 teams. Introducing team No. 1, the New World Order!

Scott Hall: Hey yo. Nobody’s gonna come close to winning the TTW Cup except the n-W-o! (crowd chants along) We’ve got Six-Pac, we’ve got big Scott Norton, and of course, we’ve got the Stinger (the fake nWo Sting).

"Vincent here is gonna watch our backs. Take a look at what we do best."

VIDEO: Footage airs from Ohio Wrestling League Show No. 9, where the nWo attacked X-Factor, The Prophecy, Paul London, and Joey Mercury.

Gorman: Introducing team No. 2, Raven’s Flock!

{Music: “Come As You Are” by Nirvana} Yes, we’ve bought all the music rights we need!

Raven: I’ve got Saturn, and I’ve got Kanyon. The rest of you have to fight for the last spot. Right now. Raven’s Rules. Quoth the Raven…nevermore.

Match One

Billy Kidman won a four-way dance over Sick Boy, Lodi, and Super Nova when he pinned Lodi after the Seven-Year Itch (shooting star press).

Kidman walked off with the rest of the Flock.

—COMMERCIAL—

{Music: “Disposable Teens” by Marilyn Manson}

Gorman: Here to introduce team No. 3, please welcome Allison Danger!

Allison: Scott Hall, you and the nWo have been making a lot of enemies lately. Well now, your enemies have come together. Now, you’re dealing with the Prophecy Factor.

Justin Credible, Albert, Danny Maff, and Brazilian jiu-jitsu expert BJ-J Whitmer come to the ring.

VIDEO: All 16 teams will earn points throughout the season. The top two teams will compete for the TTW Cup in the final show of the season.

{Music: "Thriller" by Michael Jackson}

Gorman: Introducing team No. 4, The Natural Born Thrillers!

Sean O’Haire is not doing the "white Michael Jackson" gimmick anymore, and of course, Chuck Palumbo is no longer obligated to be the promotion’s “Dojo Boy.” They are accompanied by “Above Average” Mike Sanders and Shawn Stasiak.

O’Haire: Would you look at that? (pointing to the video of his team doing the “Thriller” dance on OWL Show No. 9) Shawn Stasiak, you were a little bit out of step.

“If you want to stay on this team, you have to earn it. Mark Jindrak, come on down here. Don’t worry, Shawn. You’d do the same thing if you were me.”

Match Two

Shawn Stasiak pinned Mark Jindrak with the Perfect-plex.

All of the Thrillers shook hands and walked to the back together, but Stasiak is officially on the team and Jindrak is not.

—COMMERCIAL—

{Music: “Stayin' Alive” by the Bee Gees}

Gorman: Introducing team No. 5, the Full-Blooded Italians!

Tommy “Wildfire” Rich leads the FBI, carrying the Italian flag with his face on it.

Tommy: Hey people, y’all know Tracey Smothers, Little Guido, Johnny the Bull, and Big Vito! We’re gonna eat, drink, dance, fight, and win. Then we’re gonna party!

VIDEO: The bottom three teams in the TTW standings at the end of the season will be relegated, just like in European soccer. Since there is no lower league, they will disappear, and three new teams will take their place next season.

Gorman: Introducing team No. 6: Too Cool!

{Music: Too Cool theme}

Rikishi: Brian Christopher, Scotty 2 Hotty, and I are looking for a partner who knows how to dance and knows how to fight. We’ll see who’s best at both, and then we’ll make our pick.

{Music: “Sex Machine” by James Brown}

Ernest “The Cat” Miller comes to the ring and does his James Brown dance in his red slippers.

The lights go out and it starts snowing in the arena as Glacier enters. He does his wild video-game karate moves, which is sort of like a dance.

Match Three

Glacier pinned Ernest Miller after a cryonic kick.

Rikishi: Glacier, I think you are “too cool,” even for us. Let’s go, Ernest.

Scotty 2 Hotty puts sunglasses on Miller to signify that the Cat is on the team.

—COMMERCIAL—

The ring is surrounded by a college drumline, a string orchestra and a gospel choir. They perform “A Family Affair” by Mary J. Blige.

Gorman: Introducing team No. 7, The Congregation!

Pope Elijah Burke rides out in his black popemobile, leading Xavier (with Simply Luscious), Elix Skipper, The Alpha Male Monty Brown, and Notorious Shane Taylor.

Gorman: And their opponents in this six-man tag team match, team No. 8, The J.O.B. Squad!

{Music: "Breathe" by Prodigy}

Al Snow (with Head) leads The Blue Meanie and Gillberg (with fire extinguisher-and-sparkler entrance) for six-man tag team action.

Gorman: And please welcome the man they’ll be fighting over, 2 Cold Scorpio!

{Music: 2 Cold Scorpio's WCW theme}

Scorpio dances to the ring with the Scorp-ettes.

Match Four

The JOB Squad upset The Congregation when Gillberg speared Skipper for the pin.

Gillberg: Who’s next?

Shane Taylor answers that question with a clothesline and a huge splash.

—END OF PART ONE—

Do you have any ideas for teams to be a part of Total Team Wrestling? Remember, you need four active male wrestlers who are not currently in WWE, TNA, or ROH. Leave your picks in the comments section. Thanks!

Wrestling's Next Big Concept Emerges From the Ohio Wrestling League

Jeff D Gorman — Mon, 04 May 2009 00:14:41 -0400

Ohio Wrestling League started Show No. 9 with talent coordinator Norm Connors presenting Joey Mercury with a plaque to honor him as a former OWL champion. He lost the title on Show No. 8 to Paul London.

Mercury’s music played (“No. 1 Crush” by Garbage) as a championship banner with his face on it was raised the ceiling.

“This is all very touching,” Mercury said. “but I am getting my belt back tonight, and Paul London and X-Pac can’t do anything to stop me. I put Val Venis in the hospital, and if the other two aren’t careful, they’re next!”

Connors then introduced five tag teams who have never won a world tag team title for the opening bout.

Match 1: Los Mariachis (the masked team that was formerly known as Los Michael Jacksons) beat The Highlanders, The Heartthrobs, The Fantastics and The Gymini in a tag team scramble match.

After the match, Hardcore Holly came to the ring and blasted Los Mariachis with a steel chair.

Norm Connors came to the ring and said, “Get lost! This is not how we do things!”

BOOM! Holly clobbered Norm with the chair.

“You’ve invited everyone to this promotion but me!” Holly said. “Nobody ignores the Big Shot!”

(Music: "Hollaback Girl" by Gwen Stefani)

Next, we saw the debut of “Produce Power” Alex Porteau, who came to the ring passing out bananas to the fans. He also gave an OWL merchandise prize pack to the fan who suggested “grocery guy” at the end of the non-gimmick battle royale.

The fans chanted along to the "B-A-N-A-N-A-S" part of the song.

Match 2: “Produce Power” Alex Porteau upset Ernest “The Cat” Miller after Miller literally slipped on a banana peel.

An enraged Miller broke the wooden banana crate over Porteau’s head after the match.

Match 3: The Prophecy (Danny Maff and Brazilian jiu-jitsu expert “BJ-J” Whitmer) defeated X-Factor (Albert and Justin Credible) when Whitmer forced Credible to tap out to an armbar.

X-Pac came to the ring and berated the other members of X-Factor for the loss. While he was chewing them out, a pair of ring crew members came out with a large gymnastics landing pad, and STING dropped down from the sky into it!

On second look, it was the nWo STING! He clobbered Albert and Credible with the baseball bat and set up both men in the corners for X-Pac’s Bronco Buster.

The ring crew members removed their hoods to reveal SCOTT HALL and VINCENT (you know, Virgil). They put on their “new World order” shirts. Hall gave X-Pac his green “6-Pac” shirt as the n.W.o. theme song hit.

Scott Hall took the mic: “As Big Kev would say, ‘The band is back together!'”

Match 4: "Fabulous" John McChesney pinned The Amazing Red after a top rope leg drop.

Both men received a standing ovation after their high-flying match.

During intermission, “Dojo Boy” Chuck Palumbo passed out zombie masks all of the fans, and then rolled into the ring for the next match.

Match 5: “Smooth Criminal” Sean O’Haire pinned his former WCW tag team championship partner, “Dojo Boy” Chuck Palumbo, with a victory roll.

(Music: “Thriller” by Michael Jackson)

O’Haire and Palumbo pointed to the backstage area, and SHAWN STASIAK and “Above Average” MIKE SANDERS came out. The reunited Natural Born Thrillers did the THRILLER DANCE~!

Los Mariachis rushed to the ring in their tattered Michael Jackson outfits and joined in. Fans entered the ring in their zombie masks and danced along!

When Vincent Price stopped cackling at the end of the song, everyone was exiting the ring when Thriller (one of Los Michael Jacksons) bulldogged O’Haire and did the W-O-R-M! He unmasked as SCOTTY 2 HOTTY!

Dangerous went to the top rope, unmasked as GRANDMASTER SEXAY Brian Christopher, and hit the Tennessee jam leg drop!

The largest zombie in the ring unmasked, and it was RIKISHI! He gave O’Haire the stinkface! The other Natural Born Thrillers dragged O’Haire out of the ring, while Too Cool and Rikishi danced to their theme song.

The next match was for the OWL stable contract. The Congregation put their right to be the only “official” stable in the company on the line against Raven’s Flock.

Match 6: Pope Elijah Burke and Xavier (with Simply Luscious) defeated Raven and The Blue Meanie in a Raven’s Rules match.

This was a crazy, weapons-filled brawl all over the building. Raven was about to wallop Burke with a Singapore cane when “THE ALPHA MALE” MONTY BROWN hit the ring and nailed Raven with the POUUUUUUNCE!! Burke got the pin to retain the stable contract for The Congregation.

An irate Raven DDT’d The Blue Meanie. Al Snow, Meanie’s original trainer, came out of the crowd to help Meanie to his feet.

Next was the double ladder match for the OWL tag team titles, featuring Colt “Boom Boom” Cabana, Josh Prohibition, Teddy Hart, and “M-Dogg 20” Matt Cross.

The belts were literally held up when the previous champs, Teddy and Matt, began to feud with each other. M-Dogg limped into the match after losing the scaffold and tables match to Teddy Hart on the last show in Cincinnati.

Match 7: Colt Cabana grabbed the first title belt while Matt Cross and Teddy Hart were busy trying to kill each other. Cabana held the ladder for Josh to climb.

As Josh neared the other belt, Cabana tipped the ladder over and Josh crashed outside the ring through the timekeeper’s table.

Cabana laughed and set the ladder up again as Ace Steel came from the back, climbed the ladder and grabbed the other title belt.

Ace grabbed the mic: “Your winners, and new OWL tag team champions, The Second City Saints! Remember, you all agreed that WHOEVER grabbed the belts would be the new champions.”

Suddenly, Chris Harris and the Future Endeavors (Ryan Braddock, Gavin Spears, Tyson Tomko and Kizarny) hit the ring and attacked all five men. The 10 men battled out the door and into the streets of Cleveland.

Match 8: Paul London pinned Joey Mercury to retain the OWL title in a Triple Threat Match that also included 6-Pac. Scott Hall, Vincent and nWo Sting came to the ring and attacked London and Mercury, spraying "nWo" on their backs.

(Music: Money by Pink Floyd)

Sean "Val Venis" Morley came to the ring with the members of MorleyCorp: the Full-Blooded Italians and the Mexicools.

“I bet you’re all expecting me to sign the nWo to MorleyCorp and bring back one of their old friends, like, oh, I don’t know….Scott Norton?”

(Music: n.W.o. B-team theme song)

Scott Norton walks to the ring.

"But instead, I’m going to tell you that I’m signing EVERYONE to MorleyCorp. That’s because I have bought the Ohio Wrestling League."

Everyone gasps.

"I bet you don’t even know who I bought it from. Only Norm Connors knows who owned this company. He’s right up there."

Venis points up to the OWL’s Nest commentary booth to play-by-play announcer Jeff Gorman, who is FINALLY wearing a new suit.

Everyone gasps again.

"Where did I get all this money? I wrestled in the WWE for 11 years, and I invested wisely. I owntwo2 million maple trees in Canada, and I control 75 percent of the maple syrup market in North America. I’m like Mr. Butterworth and Uncle Jemima rolled into one.

"Why I am I doing this? Because I should be on top of the wrestling world right now. I started in the WWF in 1998 at the same time as Adam Copeland, who we call know as Edge. He was given great gimmicks and numerous title reigns.

"In 2002, just as I was starting to make my big move, they stuck me back with that stupid porn star gimmick again! I knew it would get me nowhere, so I hung on for six more years, planning my revenge.

"Yes, I am going to run Vince McMahon out of business. I will take over his company like he did to Ted Turner. How will I do it? By introducing a brand new concept in professional wrestling.

"I will beat Vince McMahon by doing something different.

"I will beat Vince McMahon with these five words:

“Wrestling as a team sport.”

Can Raven's Flock Fly Straight? (Ohio Wrestling League No. 8)

Jeff D Gorman — Fri, 01 May 2009 17:40:33 -0400

Colt “Boom Boom” Cabana entered the Cincinnati OWLery to kick off Ohio Wrestling League Show No. 8 with a live edition of “Good Times, Great Memories.” His guest was his opponent, Josh Prohibition.

“I know, Josh, that you made up with Matt Cross on the last show after your ladder match,” Cabana said, ‘But I’ve been the one you can trust all along.

Matt and Teddy Hart aren’t getting along, so during the double ladder match in Cleveland, we can work together and grab both of the tag team belts.”

“Maybe,” Josh replied. “But I’m ready to wrestle you now, so ring the bell!”

Match 1: Josh Prohibition pinned Colt Cabana after the T-Bone Prohibition-Plex.

Cabana shook Josh’s hand and they walked to the back together.

Simply Luscious came to the ring to introduce “The All-Around Best” Xavier.

Match 2: Xavier pinned Juventud Guerrera with the No More Drama Driver.

The other Mexicools (Super Crazy and Psicosis) came to the ring to attack Xavier, but the Mexicools were overwhelmed by The Congregation (2 Cold Scorpio, Pope Elijah Burke, Elix Skipper, and Notorious Shane Taylor). They celebrated in the crowd.

(Music: “Money” by Pink Floyd)

Sean “Val Venis” Morley came to the ring with the members of MorleyCorp (X-Factor and the Full-Blooded Italians).

“We respect you,” he said. “We want you to wrestle here often. Please sign here. Oh yes, here is your amigo!”

LA PARKA came driving to the ring on a JUAN DEERE~! tractor, playing the chair guitar. All four members of the Mexicools signed with MorleyCorp (whatever that means).

Match 3: “Dojo Boy” Chuck Palumbo defeated Kanyon two falls to one.

Palumbo won the first fall with a power bomb. Kanyon won the second fall with a Flatliner. Palumbo caught Kanyon with a small package to win the match.

Palumbo’s manager, Hot $hot Drew Lazario, celebrated by doing his supermodel strut, but he was flattened by a Kanyon Cutter.

Match 4. “Fabulous” John McChesney beat Sabu in a tables match.

Sabu was about to fly off the top rope to put McChesney through a table when NEW JACK came to the ring and bashed Sabu with a guitar. Fabulous put Sabu’s body on the table and leg dropped him off the top rope to win the match.

Match 5: “Secret Agent” Steve Blackman defeated Berlyn in a “grab bag of weapons” match.

After a 10 minute brawl around the building, Blackman finally found the grab bag under a pile of T-shirts. He quickly handcuffed Berlyn to the turnbuckle and started clobbering him with nunchucks until Berlyn gave up.

Bam Neely came out of the crowd disguised an old lady. He blasted Blackman with his walker and was choking him until “The Cat” Ernest Miller made the save.

During intermission, “Dojo Boy” Chuck Palumbo passed out “Tag team gimmick suggestion boards" to the fans in the front row.

Match 6: “Smooth Criminal” Sean O’Haire pinned Blue Meanie with the Razor’s Edge.

During the match, Los Michael Jacksons (Dangerous & Thriller), wearing their ripped Michael Jackson outfits, reviewed the fans’ suggestions for a new gimmick.

Match 7: Teddy Hart beat M-Dogg 20 in a scaffold-and-tables match.

The current OWL tag team champions took out their frustrations on each other on the scaffold. Finally, Teddy kicked Matt off the scaffold and through a table.

Not content with the victory, Teddy hit a 720-degree leg drop onto Matt Cross, who was taken out on a stretcher.

Matt is questionable for the double ladder match (with Cabana, Teddy, and Josh Prohibition) for the titles, which is coming up on Show No. 9 in Cleveland.

Match 8: Paul London pinned Joey Mercury to win the OWL championship.

London hit the shooting star press for the title victory! X-Pac and Justin Credible came to the ring and hugged London. They lifted him on their shoulders, and then slammed him to the mat!

X-Pac gave London the bronco buster, and Albert came to the ring for the chokeslam. All three members of X-Factor posed over the fallen (new) champion.

Match 9: In the steel cage main event, Chris Harris pinned Raven after a legdrop from the top of the cage.

After the match, a frustrated Raven ordered his Flock to attack Harris. Sick Boy, Billy Kidman, Blue Meanie and Lodi went to enter the cage, but the other members of the Flock (Ryan Braddock, Gavin Spears, Tyson Tomko, and Kizarny, who were forced to join the Flock when Raven beat Cabana and Harris), remained loyal to Harris and fought off the Flock.

Raven walked to the back and brought out a box containing the Future Endeavors team jackets, essentially firing them from the Flock.

Tomko’s jacket said “RIGHT” on the back, and the team posed on top of the cage, with their jackets reading “THE FUTURE IS RIGHT NOW.”

Just Beat It (Ohio Wrestling League - Show No. 6)

Jeff D Gorman — Sun, 19 Apr 2009 23:39:46 -0400

Eight wrestlers battled tonight for a spot on the Ohio Wrestling League roster. The departure of Mike Quackenbush opened a contract to wrestle on every OWL show.

The winners of the first four matches met in a Fatal Four-Way for an OWL contract.

Match 1: “Secret Agent” Steve Blackman beat Ballz Mahoney with a karate kick to the face.

Match 2: In a Raven’s Rules match, Chris Harris pinned Raven.

TYSON TOMKO debuted on this show, chokeslamming Raven through a table.

Harris put his own “Future Endeavors” jacket on Tomko to signify his newest team member.

However, the Endeavors are still battling for a permanent spot in the company after losing their stable contract to Pope Elijah Burke and The Congregation on Show No. 5.

Match 3: Justin Credible pinned Hallowicked after his “That’s Incredible” piledriver.

Quackenbush had the right to nominate one of the eight men to compete, so he picked his Chikara student, Hallowicked.

Match 4: Sean "X-Pac" Waltman defeated Joey “Magnum” Ryan (from the West Coast indies and Wrestling Society X) after a top-rope legdrop.

Justin Credible came to the ring to congratulate X-Pac and to talk about strategy for the four-way match.

During intermission, “Dojo Boy” Chuck Palumbo placed a single white glove on everyone’s seat.

To start the second half of the show, the DJ cued up “Beat It” for the debut of the Lucha Libre tag team, Los Michael Jacksons (Thriller & Dangerous).

Match 5: Colt “Boom Boom” Cabana & Josh Prohibition defeated Los Michael Jacksons when Josh pinned Dangerous with a T-Bone Prohibition-Plex.

Cabana & Prohibition then challenged the OWL tag team champions, “M-Dogg 20” Matt Cross & Teddy Hart to a non-title match.

Match 6: Prohibition pinned his former partner, Cross, with the Drunk Driver to win the non-title tag match.

Match 7: The Congregation (Pope Elijah Burke, 2 Cold Scorpio, and Elix Skipper) defeated Fabulous John McChesney, Blue Meanie, and Ernest “The Cat Miller.

Skipper pinned Meanie with the Play of the Day. The Cincinnati crowd reacted positively to The Congregation, because they didn’t see the Congregation’s win over their favorite team, Chris Harris and the Future Endeavors, on the Cleveland show (OWL doesn’t have TV yet).

Match 8 “The Risen Angel” B.J. Whitmer (with Allison Danger) defeated Xavier (with Simply Luscious).

The ladies got into a catfight at ringside, distracting Xavier long enough for Whitmer to catch Xavier in a triangle choke for the tap out.

Whitmer explained that he has spent the last 18 months studying Brazilian Jiu-Jitsu, so he now wants to be known as B.J.-J. Whitmer.

Match 9: Kanyon pinned “Dojo Boy” Chuck Palumbo clean with the Kanyon Cutter.

Palumbo was exhausted from working all over the arena for six hours.

Match 10: OWL champion Joey Mercury grabbed the tights to pin Paul London.

Match 11: Fatal-Four Way Match for an OWL contract

"Wildcat” Chris Harris thrilled the Cincinnati crowd, on the sixth show, by FINALLY winning a permanent spot in the company. He pinned Justin Credible with a victory roll.

X-Pac and Justin Credible worked together to slam Blackman into the post before concentrating on Harris. Their double-teaming backfired, and Harris scored a surprise win.

The Future Endeavors came to the ring (including Colt Cabana, who won a bet with Harris and will repackage this group on the next show) and they celebrated with Harris in the crowd.

X-Pac and Credible were in the ring, feeling dejected, when “Money” by Pink Floyd began to play.

Sean “Val Venis” Morley came to the ring wearing a neck brace after taking a piledriver from Joey Mercury on the last show.

“You guys are too good to have to fight for a position on this show,” Morley said. “I think it’s time you guys worked for me. You should work for MorleyCorp.”

“If you’re not sure, I brought an old friend to help you make up your mind.”

(Music: Yo, you dealin with the X-factor!

I got all I every wanted and I’ll never give that baaaack...)

ALBERT came to the ring and chokeslammed Blackman. Albert hugged his old X-Factor teammates, Credible and Waltman. They signed as the first members of MorleyCorp…whatever that is…

The Pope Is Here! (Ohio Wrestling League: Show No. 5)

Jeff D Gorman — Fri, 17 Apr 2009 12:02:44 -0400

Ohio Wrestling League opens Show No. 5 in Cleveland with ring announcer Chuck Roberts introducing Jeff Gorman’s new broadcast partner.

“War Machine” comes on, and the crowd explodes, looking for Tazz…only to find Mark Madden in a Pittsburgh Steelers jersey. The cheers turn to thunderous boos.

“I don’t need a weapon; my mouth is my weapon,” Madden says. “As usual, when the people of Cleveland want to see a winner, they look to Pittsburgh!”

(Crowd: Pittsburgh sucks! Pittsburgh sucks!)

“In order to convince me to come here tonight," Madden says, "the OWL has made a few extra accommodations for me, with extra funds from my connections at ESPN, AOL, CNN, and the nWo!”

He steps into an elevator that takes him up to the new, expanded “OWL’s Nest” commentary booth. It features a recliner, flat-screen TV, popcorn machine, and mini-bar.

MATCH 1: Ernest “The Cat” Miller defeats Josh Prohibition by pinfall after the Feliner kick.

MATCH 2: “Dojo Boy” Chuck Palumbo defeats Kanyon by pinfall after a Razor’s edge.

An angry Kanyon dumps over the merchandise table to create more work for Palumbo.

MATCH 3: Paul London defeats The Amazing Red by pinfall after a shooting star press.

Colt “Boom Boom” Cabana’s music hits, but Chris Harris comes out instead, with the Future Endeavors (Ryan Braddock, Gavin Spears, and Kizarny).

“Welcome to Good Times, Great Memories!” Harris says.“You thought you were rid of me, didn’t you? Well, I showed everyone, including Raven, that I am the leader of the only stable in OWL.

“I have my Future Endeavors here, but we need one more member to beat The Congregation tonight and retain the stable contract we won in the jewel of Ohio, Cincinnati!"

(Crowd: Bengals suck! Bengals suck!)

“So please welcome my guest, Colt “Boom Boom” Cabana!”

After a while, Cabana wanders out, a bit confused to be a guest on his own talk show.

“Colt Cabana, you belong with us,” Harris says. “You’ve never got the chance to show the world what you could do. Join us, and we’ll go to the top! We even made a team jacket for you!”

Kizarny hands Cabana a Future Endeavors jacket that says “BABY!” on the back, so the jackets will read: “THE FUTURE IS NOW BABY!”

“What’s in it for me?” Cabana asks. “I already have a contract to wrestle here. Plus, why would I want to be constantly reminded of my dismissal from the largest wrestling company in America? That’s like losing on "The Apprentice" and wearing a Donald Trump T-shirt that says ‘I’M FIRED!’”

“Okay,” Harris says. “If we win tonight, I will trade contracts with you. When you hold a stable contract, you get a 25-percent cut of the other members’ pay.”

Everyone reacts with surprise to that announcement, since it had never been revealed before.

“If we lose, you can be our leader, and you can change the name, the outfits, and anything you want,” Harris says.

“More money or leading the group? Sounds like a win-win!” Cabana says. “I accept your offer, because The Future is Now, Baby!”

Match 4: “Fabulous” John McChesney pinned Mike Quackenbush after a top-rope fisherman buster.

After he recovers, Quackenbush announces that he is going to work for Ring of Honor. The fans give him a standing ovation and a “THANK YOU QUACK” chant as we go to intermission.

During intermission, “Dojo Boy” Chuck Palumbo places plastic martini glasses on everyone’s seat.

“Nobody Does It Better” (the theme from “The Spy Who Loved Me”) hits, as we see the debut of “Secret Agent” Steve Blackman.

He gives a pair of tickets to a future OWL event to the fan who wrote “James Bond” on her gimmick suggestion board and handed it to Blackman after the non-gimmick battle royale.

Match 5: “Secret Agent” Steve Blackman defeats Blue Meanie by pinfall after a a karate kick to the face.

Match 6: OWL tag team champions The Filth & The Fury (“M-Dogg 20” Matt Cross & Teddy Hart) defeated The Full-Blooded Italians (Tracey Smothers & Nunzio).

The former ECW tag team champions try to keep the match on the ground, but Cross gets the pinfall over Nunzio after the Death from Above.

Match 7: OWL champion Joey Mercury (with Hot $hot Drew Lazario) pinned Sean Morley (WWE’s Val Venis) to retain the title.

Morley went for the “Climactic Splash from the Top Rope,” but Mercury moves out of the way. Mercury drills Morley with a piledriver for the pin.

The medical team strap Morley to a backboard and take him to the hospital.

Match 8: Main event – Survivor Series match for the OWL Stable Contract

Chris Harris leads the Future Endeavors (Cabana, Spears, Braddock, and Kizarny) to the ring to defend their OWL stable contract.

Soon, the ring is surrounded by a college drum line, followed by a 10-piece string orchestra, and then a gospel choir. They launch into “A Family Affair” by Mary J. Blige:

Let's get it crunk, we gonna have some fun
Up in this dancery
We got ya open, now ya floatin'
So you gots to dance for me…

The members of the Congregation come out. First is the 350-pound "Notorious" Shane Taylor, then Elix Skipper, then Xavier (with Simply Luscious), then 2 COLD SCORPIO dances to the ring with the Scorp-ettes!

At this point, it’s just a huge party in the ring, and the fans are ready to go crazy for whomever comes out next, and it turns out to be … riding in a black pope-mobile…

POPE ELIJAH BURKE!

“The Congregation is here!” the pope says. “I have called this group together because these great athletes deserve to make it to the Promised Land!”

“Shane Taylor, the success of Fabulous John McChesney came largely as a result of YOUR efforts. Did he ever thank you?”

(Crowd: NO!)

“Xavier, you dominated Ring of Honor, but when The Prophecy chose a new leader, did they pick you?"

(Crowd: No!)

“Elix Skipper, you were the best athlete in the final days of WCW. Did they allow Team Canada to be led by you?

(Crowd: No!)

“2 Cold Scorpio, you are one of the best wrestlers in the last 20 years, but the promoters only cared about how you could dance. Did they ever consider that the WCW, ECW or WWF title could be held by you?"

(Crowd: No!)

“This Congregation is not about you paving my way to the championship! I will lead you to the championships you richly deserve! I don’t need to be a champion, because I AM THE POPE!”

The bell rings, and the Congregation is so fired up that they just decimate the Future Endeavors. All five pinfalls take place in less than five minutes.

At the end, Burke hits the Elijah Express on Chris Harris, but instead of taking the pin for himself, he tags in Taylor to put Harris away with a big splash.

The Congregation wins the right to be the only stable in the Ohio Wrestling League. The music starts again, and the party spills into the streets of Cleveland.

Who Will Win the Final Four Ohio Wrestling League Contracts? (Show 4)

Jeff D Gorman — Fri, 10 Apr 2009 15:28:33 -0400

Now is a great time to jump on the Ohio Wrestling League bandwagon. Tonight in Cincinnati, the OWL roster will be complete, as we award the final four contracts to determine our 12 full-time OWL wrestlers.

On Show No. 1, we began the OWL title tournament and awarded the first eight contracts to the winners of that night’s matches. Those winners were Xavier, Colt Cabana, M-Dogg 20, Joey Mercury, Sean “Val Venis” Morley, "Fabulous" John McChesney, Blue Meanie, and Mike Quackenbush.

On Show No. 2, those eight men picked partners for the OWL tag team title tournament, which will conclude tonight.

On Show No. 3, we crowned the first OWL champion, Joey Mercury.

So tonight, the final four contracts will go to:

- The winner of a three-way ladder match featuring Paul London, Sean “X-Pac” Waltman, and Justin Credible;

- The winner of the 20-Mortis Battle Royale, which stemmed from the gimmick and non-gimmick battle royales

- The winner of the 20-Man, 5-Team Leadership Rumble, which will crown the only official stable in the Ohio Wrestling League; and

- The winner of the Dojo Boy tournament, which will see the eight original OWL wrestlers picking a partner. The four winning Dojo Boy contestants will compete in a four-way dance to earn the Dojo Boy contract.

The Dojo Boy position is based around the wrestling tradition of “paying your dues.” He has to set up the ring, help the fans to their seats, sell concessions and programs, and tear the ring down after show, in addition to wrestling.

The Dojo Boy only earns half the money as the other wrestlers, but if one of the contracted wrestlers leaves the company, the Dojo Boy is promoted to a full-time spot.

So here we go!

Jeff Gorman is commentating solo at ringside, as a large crew of construction workers performs a huge overhaul of the “OWL’s Nest” commentary booth.

Colt “Boom Boom” Cabana opens the show with his “Good Times, Great Memories” talk show.

His guests are his opponents in the Dojo Boy tournament, “M-Dogg 20” Matt Cross and Josh Prohibition.

“I know what Matt is up to, Josh,” said Cabana. “He’s going to make you do all the work, so he can win the tag team belts tonight with his REAL partner, Teddy Hart.”

“Okay, smart-aleck,” Matt retorts. “Where’s your partner?”

“He’s right here,” says Cabana, putting a Cubs hat on Josh’s head.

Josh clobbers Matt, and the match is on.

Match 1: Colt Cabana & Josh Prohibition defeat M-Dogg 20 in a handicap match.

Cross is no match for Cabana and Prohibition. Cabana hits the Colt .45 and allows Josh to score the pin after a 450 splash from the top rope.

After the match, Josh hits the T-Bone Prohibition-Plex and grabs the microphone.

“You should have picked me!” Josh yells. He is in the Dojo Boy four-way match.

Match 2: Mike Quackenbush & Gran Akuma defeat Blue Meanie & "Dastardly" Danny Doring.

Akuma pins Doring with the Yoshi Tonic (sunset flip powerbomb).

Gran Akuma is in the Dojo Boy four-way match.

Match 3: Xavier & Quiet Storm defeat Sean Morley & Johnny Devine.

Xavier pins Devine with the “Kiss Your X Goodbye.”

Quiet Storm is in the Dojo-Boy four-way match.

Ring crew workers set up a “runway” in the ring with Christmas lights, as ring announcer Chuck Roberts says “Ladies and gentlemen, this is Modelz Inc.!”

OWL champion Joey Mercury and manager “Hot $hot” Drew Lazario strut to the ring in designer suits. They introduce their Dojo Boy candidate and newest member of Modelz Inc., Chuck Palumbo!

Palumbo does his own supermodel strut down the runway in his designer suit. Lazario explains that Palumbo doesn’t mind going for the low-paying Dojo Boy spot, since Lazario has lined up several modeling gigs for him.

Match 4: Joey Mercury & Chuck Palumbo beat Fabulous John McChesney & Super Hentai.

Palumbo pinned Hentai with a pumphandle slam to round out the four Dojo Boy contenders.

During intermission, the ushers place Mortis masks on everyone’s seat for…

Match 5: THE 20-MORTIS BATTLE ROYALE

Most of the wrestlers immediately attack and roll out a huge 450-pound Mortis, who ends up being Big Daddy V (Viscera). Other eliminated wrestlers unmask to reveal Hardcore Holly, Snitsky, “Hard Work” Bobby Walker, Super Nova, and Villano IV (yes, he was wearing two masks and needed oxygen from a ringside medic).

With three Mortises left, one eliminated the other two with a flying karate kick. He takes off his boots to reveal a pair of red slippers. The DJ cues up James Brown’s “Sex Machine.”

The winner unmasks to reveal Ernest “The Cat” Miller! He grabs the microphone.

“Somebody call my momma!” Miller says. “I just whooped every Mortis in the house!”

Miller goes to OWL talent coordinator Norm Connors to sign his contract.

Match 6: Chuck Palumbo destroys Gran Akuma, Super Hentai, and Quiet Storm to win the Dojo Boy contract.

After the match, Kanyon wipes out Palumbo from behind with a Kanyon Cutter. He dumps popcorn all over Palumbo.

"I know you stole my gimmick!" Kanyon says. "Now clean that up!"

After the ring crew helps its newest member out of the ring, “Disposable Teens” hits, and Allison Danger makes her OWL debut!

She explains that “The Fallen Angel” Christopher Daniels has returned to TNA. However, she says The Prophecy will unveil its new leader tonight!

Match 7: Paul London defeated X-Pac and Justin Credible in a three-way ladder match to win the OWL contract.

X-Pac was almost at the top when Credible shoved him off the ladder. Instead of climbing the ladder, Credible went to help the injured X-Pac as London grabbed the contract.

Match 8: M-Dogg 20 & Teddy Hart defeat Sabu and John McChesney (wearing the "Fabu" outfit to win the OWL tag team titles.

Late in the match, Sabu goes to the top rope as McChesney sets up M-Dogg on a table. However, Bill Alfonso comes out blowing his whistle and walks right into the ring to talk to Sabu.

This allows Teddy Hart to attack McChesney and put him on the table. Alfonso directs Sabu to put his own partner through the table!

Sabu gives the tag team belts to M-Dogg and Hart and walks away. M-Dogg drags McChesney’s limp body into the ring as Hart does a triple-flipping dive off the construction equipment onto McChesney for the pin and the title.

Alfonso takes the mic and blows his whistle right in McChesney’s face.

“Imitation is NOT the sincerely form of flattery, daddy!” Alfonso spits.

Match 9: THE LEADERSHIP RUMBLE for the OWL Stable Contract

Each team will have four members. The leaders of the five teams will come out last (Spots 16-20).

Elix Skipper draws No. 1 for Team Canada.

Simply Luscious comes out, and she is not happy. She half-heartedly introduces “The All-Around Best” Xavier, he is obviously very angry about something.

Choir music begins to play. Skipper puts out his hands, as black confetti rains from the ceiling. Also falling from the sky are black flyers that says “YOUR POPE IS COMING…” and on the back, “…to CLEVELAND, losers!”

Skipper takes off his Team Canada shirt to reveal a shirt that says “THE CONGREGATION.” The first Congregation member, “Notorious” Shane Taylor appears at ringside.

He tells Xavier and Simply Luscious, “Follow us. You won’t be sorry.” All four walk out of the building.

So the match actually starts with Johnny Devine of Team Canada and Scott “Sick Boy” Vick of Raven’s Flock. The rest of the competitors before the leaders emerge are:

5 – Tracey Smothers (Full-Blooded Italians)

6 – Dan Maff (The Prophecy)

7 – A-1 (Team Canada)

8 – Donovan Morgan (The Prophecy)

9 – Super Crazy (Mexicools riding the JUAN DEERE~! lawnmowers)

10 – “Wildcat” Chris Harris (Raven’s Flock)

11 – Billy Kidman (Raven’s Flock)

12 – Nunzio (FBI)

13 – Psicosis (Mexicools)

14 – Johnny “The Bull” Stamboli (FBI)

15 – La Parka (Mexicools)

Lance Storm leads Team Canada at No. 16. Raven leads the Flock at No. 17. “The Big Don” Tommy Rich leads the FBI, waving the Italian flag with his face on it.

No. 19 is Juventud Guerrera to lead the Mexicools. He takes the microphone.

“Finally, the Juice has come back to Cleveland!”

He gets booed out of the building. Finally at No. 20, “Disposable Teens” hits. Allison Danger comes out with the new leader of The Prophecy…

...“The Risen Angel” BJ Whitmer, wearing a white version of Christopher Daniels’ outfit.

The final four in the ring are Raven, Kidman, Harris, and Whitmer. Raven instructs the Flock members to dump Whitmer, and then to throw themselves over the top rope.

Kidman complies, but Chris Harris never hits the floor. He comes back in an tosses Raven out of the ring to win the match! He grabs the mic as his hometown fans cheer.

“In Cleveland, they told me to hit the road,” he said. “I am not a Flock member or anyone’s lackey. I’m from Cincinnati, and that means I am a winner and a leader!”

“The WWE let me go before I could show them what I could do. We will finally get a chance to shine! They wished us the best in our future endeavors, and I found the best Future Endeavors to help me dominate this company!”

He points to the curtain, as Ryan Braddock, Gavin Spears and Kizarny come to the ring wearing “Future Endeavors” jackets.

They give a jacket to Harris and stand shoulder-to-shoulder. The jackets read:

“THE FUTURE IS NOW”

Vince Can't Hear Me: Ohio Wrestling League Crowns a Champion (No. 3)

Jeff D Gorman — Fri, 03 Apr 2009 20:55:09 -0400

The Ohio Wrestling League crowned its first champion at Show No. 3 in Cleveland.

The show began with four second-round tournament matches. The winners moved to a four-way elimination bout for the title.

Colt “Boom Boom” Cabana came to the ring to host his “Good Times, Great Memories” talk show. His guest was his opponent, “M-Dogg 20” Matt Cross.

Cabana pointed out Josh Prohibition in the audience.

“Why didn’t you pick Josh to be your partner in the tag team tournament?” Cabana asked. “He’s been with you since the backyard days. Sure, you’d rather pick a hot shot like Teddy Hart, and now you guys are in the finals.”

Ace Steel joined Cabana to serenade Matt and Josh with the chorus to “Friends” by Whodini.

“Friends! How many of us have them?

“Friends! Ones we can depend on?”

Cross snapped and attacked Cabana, and the match was on.

Match 1: Colt Cabana pinned “M-Dogg 20” Matt Cross by pulling the trunks.

After the match, Cross asked Josh to tell the referee about Cabana’s cheating, but Josh replied that he was in the restroom at the time.

Match 2. Mike Quackenbush pinned Blue Meanie with a victory roll.

Simply Luscious came to the ring to introduce “The All-Around Best” Xavier. The lights went out, and Sabu’s music hit!

When the lights came on, “Fabulous” John McChesney was in the ring dressed as Sabu. It was a tribute to his partner, as the duo will face M-Dogg and Teddy Hart in the finals of the OWL tag team title tournament on Show No. 4 in Cincinnati.

He even had “FABU” on the seat of his pants.

Match 3. “Fabulous” John McChesney pinned Xavier with a triple-jump moonsault.

After the match, the 350-pound “Notorious” Shane Taylor hugged McChesney, but then turned on him with a clothesline! He delivered two big splashes to his former ally and ripped off his Sabu outfit before tossing him over the top rope.

Then, black confetti began to rain from the ceiling. Shane Taylor took off his sweatshirt to reveal a T-shirt that read: THE CONGREGATION.

Also raining from the ceiling were black flyers with white letters that read: YOUR POPE IS COMING!

Match 4: Joey Mercury pinned Sean “Val Venis” Morley after a superplex.

During intermission, ushers passed out whiteboards and Sharpie markers to the front-row fans. At the top of the whiteboard were the words “Gimmick Ideas” for the losers of…

Match 5: NON-GIMMICK BATTLE ROYALE

The ring filled up with Steve Blackman, Kanyon, Alex “The Pug” Porteau, Gunner Scott, Jerry Lynn, Sean O’Haire, Virgil, “Beef Stew” Lou Marconi, and Kurrgan the Interrogator.

IWC talent coordinator Norm Connors got up on the apron, but before he could protest, the match got underway!

The final three in the ring were Blackman, Kanyon, and Virgil. Blackman was just about to dump Virgil when Kanyon flipped both men out of the ring.

Kanyon went to Connors to sign his OWL contract, but Connors replied, “Not so fast! I believe you won a contract on our last show. Right, MORTIS?”

“I’m not Mortis!” Kanyon said. “I mean, I was in WCW, but that wasn’t me who won the gimmick battle royale in Cincy! That’s why I came to the NON-gimmick battle royale! Someone stole my gimmick! ”

Then, the ring began to fill up with Mortises!

“He could be Mortis!” Kanyon said. “He could be Mortis! Even you could be Mortis, Norm!”

Connors handed the contract to Kanyon and ordered an ALL-MORTIS BATTLE ROYALE for Show No. 4 in Cincy. The winner must unmask before signing his contract, but he will be able to wrestle as himself or as Mortis, and he can team with as many Mortises as he likes.

Before the next match, Connors reminded fans that this was Chris Harris’ last chance to earn an OWL contract.

Match 7: In an extreme rules match, Ballz Mahoney pinned Chris Harris after three chairshots and a Nutcracker Suite.

When Harris recovered, the crowd sang “Hit the Road, Jack” before Raven came to the ring and dragged Harris backstage.

Before the main event, Norm Connors thanked the fans who drove up from Cincinnati for the show. The crowd exploded into a huge "BENGALS SUCK" chant.

Connors said the next show in Cincinnati will feature a 25-man leadership Rumble. Five teams will compete in a Royal Rumble match, with the five leaders coming out last. The winning team will earn the right to be the only official stable in the Ohio Wrestling League.

However, the team that holds the “Stable Contract” will occasionally have to defend it; in fact, the winning team will have to defend the contract on the next Cleveland show against The Congregation (which so far only includes Shane Taylor).

Match 8: OWL TITLE MATCH: John McChesney vs. Mike Quackenbush vs. Colt Cabana vs. Joey Mercury

The weakened McChesney was pinned after just three minutes after a Quackendriver 3. Quack continued his hot streak by hitting the Splash Mountain for the pin on Cabana.

Mercury, seeing where this was going, went to the retrieve the new OWL title belt on the timekeeper’s table. However, referee Tom Dunn grabbed the belt away and handed it to Norm Connors.

Mercury put his hands out and another title belt dropped out of the sky! He knocked out Quackenbush with the belt and scored the pin!

Color commentator Hot $hot Drew Lazario (who runs Wildcat Belts) climbed out of the OWL’s Nest commentary booth to celebrate with Mercury, whom he managed in Steel City Wrestling in the mid-90s in the Modelz Inc. stable.

Lazario called for the lights to be turned off, and the belt lit up, in the shape of an owl, with blinking eyes! When the lights came back on, the fans saw that the belt had already has been engraved with the name of the first Ohio Wrestling League Champion, Joey Mercury.

Vince Can't Hear Me On Commentary: Ohio Wrestling League (Show No. 2)

Jeff D Gorman — Tue, 31 Mar 2009 13:38:46 -0400

The Ohio Wrestling League followed up its successful debut in Cleveland with its first visit to Cincinnati.

The OWL Tag Team Title tournament got underway, as each of the eight winners from the last show brought a mystery partner to go after the belts.

Colt “Boom Boom” Cabana opened the show with an episode of “Good Times, Great Memories.” His guest was Paul London.

Cabana was sharing memories of their times in Ring of Honor and on the WWE Smackdown roster.

“That’s why my partner tonight will be…(London is attacked)...Sexy Ace Steel!!!”

The Second City Saints put the boots to London until they were run off by Sean “X-Pac” Waltman, who will be London’s opponent in the main event.

“M-Dogg 20” Matt Cross came out and introduced his partner from Wrestling Society X, Teddy Hart.

Match 1

The Filth and The Fury (M-Dogg & Teddy Hart) beat The Second City Saints (Cabana & Steel) when Hart pinned Steel with a corkscrew splash off the top rope.

Joey Mercury came to the ring with his old partner from the indies and ECW, Christian York. Sean “Val Venis” Morley picked his former World Tag Team Championship partner, Lance Storm!

Match 2

Team Canada (Storm & Morley) beat Joey Mercury and Christian York when York tapped to Storm’s Canadian Maple Leaf finisher.

Mike Quackenbush came out and introduced his partner from Chikara, Jigsaw. Blue Meanie entered to the bWo theme music with “Hollywood” Nova playing air guitar.

Instead of getting into the ring, Nova rang the bell.

Match 3

Raven dropped Jigsaw with the Raven Effect DDT to win the match in four seconds for himself and Blue Meanie, taking out Jigsaw and Quackenbush.

Simply Luscious came to the ring to introduce Xavier and his partner, and leader of The Prophecy, “The Fallen Angel” Christopher Daniels.

“Big League” John McChesney came to the ring with his partner and bodyguard, the 350-pound “Notorious” Shane Taylor.

“Not so fast!” says OWL talent coordinator Norm Connors. “Shane Taylor, you attacked Al Snow on the last show, so you are out of here!”

Security escorts Taylor out of the building. The Prophecy moves in on McChesney, but the lights go out.

When they come back on, Sabu is in the ring!

Match 4

Sabu and McChesney beat The Prophecy (Xavier and Daniels) when Sabu pinned Xavier after a triple-jump moonsault.

During intermission, ushers place winter hats with the OWL logo on everyone’s seat.

Match 5: Gimmick Battle Royale for an OWL Contract

The ring filled up with Doink the Clown, T.L. Hopper, The Goon, Waylon Mercy, Bastion Booger, Big Bully Busick, Duke “The Dumpster” Droese, Mortis, Lazer-Tron, Shockmaster, Men on a Mission, and Jean-Pierre Lafitte.

Then the lights went out and the temperature dropped to 20 degrees. Fans put their hats on to stay warm during the snowy entrance of GLACIER!

He must have bought his gimmick back from Kaz Hayashi (remember that angle?).

The last two remaining were Mortis and Glacier. They went into video-game karate-kick mode until James Vanderberg got on the apron to distract Glacier.

Mortis tossed Glacier out to win the OWL contract.

Vandenberg grabbed the contract for Mortis to sign, but OWL talent coordinator Norm Connors had security toss Vandenberg out of the building for interfering. Mortis became the ninth official member of the OWL roster.

Match 6: Tag Team Tournament Semifinal

The Filth and The Fury (M-Dogg and Teddy Hart) beat Raven and Blue Meanie in a “Raven’s Rules” match.

Hart pinned Meanie after a 920-degree flipping moonsault off a 30-foot platform onto Meanie, destroying the candy table.

Match 7: Tag Team Tournament Semifinal

Sabu and John McChesney defeated Team Canada (Storm and Morley) when McChesney hit a triple-jump moonsault on Storm for the pin.

McChesney pointed to the sky like Sabu to salute his new partner.

Before the main event, Norm Connors thanked the Cleveland fans who made the trip down I-71 to see the show. The rest of the crowd exploded into a HUGE “Cleveland sucks” chant.

Norm explaind that several wrestlers complained that they couldn’t compete in the gimmick battle royal because they don’t have a gimmick.

To be fair, there will be a non-gimmick battle royale on show No. 3 in Cleveland.

The Cleveland show will also feature the quarterfinals and semifinals of the OWL Title tournament, plus Chris Harris versus Ballz Mahoney in an extreme rules match.

Match 8

Paul London pinned Sean “X-Pac” Waltman in the main event.

As they shook hands after the match, the fans were treated to someone on the mic singing:

“I got all I ever wanted, and I’ll never give that back…”

It was Justin Credible, singing the critically reviled X-Factor theme song!

He had a Singapore cane with an OWL contract taped to it. He challenged both men to a three-way ladder match on the next Cincinnati show, with the winner gaining a permanent spot in the company.

“Paul London, how do know it won’t be two-on-one?” Justin said. “Now, you’re dealing with the X-Factor!”

Vince Can't Hear Me on Commentary: Ohio Wrestling League (Show No. 1)

Jeff D Gorman — Fri, 27 Mar 2009 10:54:11 -0400

Okay, I’m in.

I’ve read (and edited) many of the Bleacher Report fantasy booking federations, and I’ve really enjoyed them. Now it’s time for the first flight of the OWL (Ohio Wrestling League).

This will be radically different from all of the others, because this is the league I would actually start if I had the time and money. It would be based in Ohio, and I can’t use any talent that is under contract to WWE, TNA, or ROH.

If someone leaves one of the Big Three companies, I can use them. But if they get signed, I lose them.

Actually, I’m glad I can launch the OWL on Bleacher Report, so I don’t have to lose any money (actually promoting shows) or friends (by booking them to lose, or by not booking them at all).

Here is the philosophy of OWL. We’re going to put on a fun, strong pro wrestling show the whole family can enjoy.

Tickets will be cheap too. Ringside is $10, general admission is $5, and kids are just $3. So to make money, we need to put on shows that will attract a lot of fans.

Before we get on TV, we will run shows in Cleveland and Cincinnati. We will tape the shows until we have enough footage to get on SportsTime Ohio (the Cleveland Indians network).

Then, we will move the TV tapings to Akron and Dayton to build up the big shows in Cleveland and Cincy. If we can get a huge WrestleMania-quality show together, it will take place in Columbus.

IWC promoter Norm Connors will be our “talent coordinator.” He’d sit at ringside and will award OWL contracts to the winners of the eight matches on our first show in Cleveland. This will also serve as the first round of the OWL title tournament.

If you have an OWL contract, you can wrestle on every show.

I’ll be doing play-by-play up in the OWL’s Nest along with my old partner from Steel City Wrestling, “Hot $hot” Drew Lazario. He now runs Wildcat Belts, which made the Waffle House title belt pictured above.

Ring announcer Chuck Roberts (from Firestorm in Cleveland and IWC in Pittsburgh) counts us down, and the OWL takes off!

Match 1: “M-Dogg 20” Matt Cross pinned “Wildcat” Chris Harris.

Harris got huge heat from the fans for his failed ECW run as Braden Walker. The high-flying Cross won with his “Death from Above” finisher.

Colt “Boom Boom” Cabana came out to host his “Good Times, Great Memories” talk show. He explained he would host the show before every one of his singles matches, and his guest would always be his opponent.

Cabana introduced Cleveland indy veteran “Beef Stew” Lou Marconi. Cabana started comparing Chicago sports teams to Cleveland sports teams. By the time Cabana got to Michael Jordan’s game-winner (“The Shot”) over Craig Ehlo, Marconi snapped, and the match was on.

Match 2: Colt Cabana pinned Lou Marconi.

“Beef Stew” almost won with his Hellfire Lariat, but Cabana recovered to win the match with the Colt .45.

Match 3: Blue Meanie pinned Johnny “The Bull” Stamboli.

In a battle of the Blue World Order vs. The Full-Blooded Italians, Meanie got the win with the Meanie-sault.

Match 4: Mike Quackenbush pinned Paul London.

The fans really loved this battle of the high flyers, and the Chikara founder emerged victorious with his new “Quackendriver-3” finisher.

During intermission, ushers put Styrofoam mannequin heads on every seat.

Match 5: “Big League” John McChesney beat Al Snow (with Head) by countout.

The fans enjoyed Snow’s pre-show “Head” entrance to the Prodigy song “Breathe.” However, McChesney got the win when the 350-pound “Notorious” Shane Taylor splashed Snow twice on the floor.

Simply Luscious came to the ring to introduce former Ring of Honor champion “The All-Around Best” Xavier.

Match 6: Xavier (with Simply Luscious) pinned Colin Delaney.

Xavier put away the plucky former ECW star with the “Kiss Your X Goodbye.”

Match 7: Joey Mercury pinned The Amazing Red.

Ringside security guys use their camera phones for Mercury’s “MNM Paparazzi” entrance to the ring. Another crowd-pleasing, high-flying match (see a trend?) ended when Mercury caught a diving Red with a big facebuster for the pin.

Before the main event, “Wildcat” Chris Harris came back out to complain that the fans’ booing distracted him and caused him to lose. Norm Connors said Harris would have one more chance to earn an OWL contract.

Harris will have to beat Ballz Mahoney in an extreme rules match on the next Cleveland show or he will be banned from OWL forever.

Match 8: Sean “Val Venis” Morley pinned Tracey Smothers.

Morley gets a huge “former WWE star” pop before Tracey Smothers demands Morley’s “Hello Ladies” music is shut off. He presents a letter from WWE attorneys stating the Val Venis gimmick and music are corporate intellectual property.

After threatening the crowd with “Super Double Ultra Mega Mass Homicide,” Smothers challenges Morley to a dance-off. Smothers attacks during Morley’s turn to dance.

Morley weathers the storm and eventually wins with the Money Shot, which I guess will need a new name as well.

So the core of the OWL roster, earning contracts to appear on every show, are: M-Dogg, Cabana, Meanie, Quack, McChesney, Xavier, Mercury, and Morley.

They will compete in the quarterfinals and semifinals of the OWL title on tournament on the next Cleveland show (Show No. 3).

But they will also get to choose mystery partners for the OWL tag team title tournament, which will begin in Cincinnati on Show No. 2. The Cincinnati show will also include a Gimmick Battle Royal, with the winner earning an OWL contract.

The main event in Cincy will be Paul London against the debuting Shawn “X-Pac” Waltman.

I hope you enjoyed this, and I’m looking forward to your feedback.

Top Five Funniest Moments in Pro Wrestling

Jeff D Gorman — Thu, 12 Feb 2009 23:41:59 -0500

5. bWo as KISS

The blue World order (Stevie Richards and The Blue Meanie) provided the comedy in the old ECW with their hilarious parodies. They spoofed Shawn Michaels and Diesel, The Blue Bloods, and other WWF and WCW wrestlers.

Their crowning achievement came when they teamed with Super Nova and Donn E. Allen to dress up as KISS and perform "Rock & Roll All Night."

The crowd at the ECW Arena went absolutely bonkers, especially when the KISS members did the "Fabulous Fargo Strut."

4. The Clown, The King, and the Six Dwarves

Jerry “The King” Lawler teamed up with three mini-kings (Queasy, Cheezy, and Sleazy) to take on Doink the Clown and his three small clowns (Dink, Wink, and Pink) at Survivor Series 1994.

My favorite part of this match was the chicken fight. Dink was on Doink’s shoulders, so Lawler got the idea to sit on Sleazy’s shoulders to clobber Dink.

Poor Sleazy tried to hold Lawler’s weight, but they both came crashing down.

3. Chris Jericho: Master of 1,004 Holds

In WCW, Chris Jericho was feuding with Dean Malenko (The Master of 1,000 Holds) over the Cruiserweight title. In order to pop his opponent’s bubble, Jericho claimed to be the “Master of 1,004 Holds.”

Jericho brought a computer printout to the ring and attempted to read off all of his holds. The producers cut to a commercial, but he was still reading when they came back.

The funniest part is that he kept padding his total of holds by re-using “armbar.”

2. The Rock Shoots Down Billy Gunn

The WWF continued its relentless push of Billy Gunn as he won the 1999 King of the Ring tournament.

However, the Rock put him in his place and essentially derailed his entire singles career with one interview.

The Rock played the dual roles of a praying Billy Gunn and God:

“God, I won the King of the Ring, but my problem is that I still ABSOLUTELY SUCK!”

“Now listen here, Bobby…”

“The name’s Billy.”'

“IT DOESN’T MATTER WHAT YOUR NAME IS!”

That was the debut of the phrase The Rock would use for the rest of his career.

1. Austin Appreciation Night

Most people remember this episode of Raw for the ending, when Kurt Angle sprayed "Stone Cold" Steve Austin and the WCW/ECW Alliance with milk.

However, the best part came just before the milk bath, when the Alliance members sang “Wind Beneath Our Ring” to Austin. It was their version of “Wind Beneath My Wings.”

First, Stephanie McMahon tried to get accomplished singer Lilian Garcia to lead the song, but when Lilian couldn’t get excited about singing to Austin, Stephanie herself screeched out the lead vocals.

As the icing on the cake, the lyrics were on the Titantron with a “follow the bouncing Austin head” to help everyone to sing along.

Let’s hear your funniest moments in wrestling!

Chikara Pro Wrestling Debuts in Chicago, Cleveland This Weekend!

Jeff D Gorman — Tue, 16 Sep 2008 03:02:38 -0400

Chicago and Cleveland wrestling fans will get their first taste of Chikara wrestling this weekend.

The lucha-influenced, family-friendly promotion will come to Streamwood, Ill., on Saturday, Sept. 20 at Streamwood Park District Community Center, 777 S. Bartlett Road. Bell time is 7 pm.

On Sunday afternoon, Chikara will be in Cleveland at the West Park Party Center, 3556 W. 130th St. at 3:30 pm.

Colin Delaney has returned to Chikara from the WWE. He will face former partner Jimmy Olson in Chicago. Delaney used to be known as Colin Olson and teamed with Jimmy as The Olson Twins.

The main event in Chicago will be a six-man lucha libre match pitting Mike Quackenbush, Hallowicked and Incognito against Mexican star El Oriental and the Super Smash Brothers (Player Uno and Player Dos).

The Brothers are unique because their outfits feature working video game controllers. The key word is “working.”

Chikara doesn’t have a heavyweight title. It has tag team belts (Campeones de Parejas) and a Young Lions Cup, which is contested in an annual tournament and then defended throughout the year.

Fire Ant won the Cup this year but lost it one week later to Vin Gerard, who angered the locker room by pretending to be a Mexican luchador named Equinox. Their rematch for the Cup will also take place in Chicago.

Cleveland’s main event will feature Ring of Honor’s Delirious teaming with Hallowicked. The team of Incoherence will defend the Campeones de Parejas against the Super Smash Brothers.

The tag team belts are the top prize in Chikara. Every title match is two out of three falls (lucha libre style). In order to earn a title shot, a team must score three points by winning three matches in a row.

ROH’s Claudio Castagnoli will face El Oriental on the Cleveland show.

Another top bout in Cleveland is a 10-man lucha tag pitting Colin Delaney, Vin Gerard, STIGMA (Shane Storm) and The Order of the Neo Solar Temple (UltraMantis Black and Crossbones) against Mike Quackenbush, Tim Donst and The Colony (Fire Ant, Soldier Ant and Worker Ant).

As a former Chikara announcer, I have to say I am very proud of how far this promotion has come since it began in 2002. Everyone has gained experience, the promotion is invading new territory, and it’s just a lot of fun.

You can get all the details of the Chicago show here and the Cleveland show here.

Independent Wrestling Spotlight: Ring of Honor

Jeff D Gorman — Sun, 24 Aug 2008 10:23:55 -0400

I've been announcing independent wrestling (everything below the nationally televised groups) since 1994, and I wrote a book about my adventures called This Side of the Mic. Click on my profile to learn more about it.

I've noticed that most of the coverage here on Bleacher Report is about WWE and TNA, which is great. But now I've decided to start covering the independent groups.

Before I start dropping news updates on you, let's get familiar with the independent promotions, starting with...

Ring of Honor

Based out of Philadelphia, Ring of Honor has built an international reputation for realistic, athletically-based wrestling. ROH has storylines, but even they are realistic.

ROH began in 2002 and is clearly the No. 3 pro wrestling group in America, behind WWE and TNA. While ROH does not have a national TV contract, the group does produce pay-per-views every two months.

Nigel McGuiness is the ROH champion. The British heavyweight has excelled as a heel champion that fans don’t like, but must respect. He has held the title for nearly a year.

Jimmy Jacobs and Tyler Black are the two-time ROH tag team champs. They are members of The Age of the Fall—one of the top heel stables in the company.

Larry Sweeney, a loud-mouthed sports agent, leads another group of heels called Sweet & Sour, Inc.

Other top stars in ROH include “The American Dragon” Brian Danielson, Chris Hero, Claudio Castagnoli, Jack Evans, Roderick Strong, Austin Aries, The Necro Butcher, and Jay & Mark Briscoe.

ROH has graduated several stars to WWE (CM Punk, Paul London, Brian Kendrick, Evan Bourne, Scotty Goldman) and TNA (Homicide, Samoa Joe, Jimmy Rave, Jay Lethal, Alex Shelley).

The company has branched out from the East Coast, visiting San Francisco, Las Vegas, Chicago, Orlando, and Dayton. ROH will debut soon in St. Louis.

The company has also visited Japan, England, and Canada, and the next ROH shows are scheduled for Sept. 13 and 14 in Tokyo.

WWE: A Plan to Energize Raw, Smackdown and ECW

Jeff D Gorman — Thu, 19 Jun 2008 17:25:25 -0400

When we look at Monday's WWE draft, many of us forget one important factor: Smackdown is about to lose its spot on The CW network.

Starting in the fall, Smackdown will air on MyNetworkTV, a loose collection of independent stations. This leads to the possible perception of Raw being the "A" show (on the USA Network), Smackdown as the "B" show, and, of course ECW being the "C" show on Spike TV.

That means, instead of switching brands, the wrestlers could be seen as getting promoted to Raw or demoted to Smackdown or ECW.

We can solve this problem with a three-step plan:

Step 1: Go ahead and make Raw the "A" show by putting all of the major stars on Raw.

Can you imagine Raw with John Cena, Triple H, Edge, Batista, Big Show, Shawn Michaels, Randy Orton, Chris Jericho, JBL, Mark Henry, Undertaker, Kane and Great Khali?

Put Mick Foley in the Commissioner spot again, and you’ve got must-watch TV live every Monday night.

Merge the World title and the WWE title in February at No Way Out, with the winner facing the Royal Rumble winner at Wrestlemania for the undisputed championship.

Step 2: Devote Smackdown to the cruiserweights and tag teams.

These guys are treated as afterthoughts every week, getting squished in two minutes or left off the show entirely. Imagine if these talented wrestlers had a whole show to themselves.

WWE could bring back the cruiserweight titles and bring over A.J. Styles and Christopher Daniels from TNA. Jeff Hardy and Rey Misterio could also spend a year on Smackdown before moving to Raw to challenge all the big guys.

Also, the tag team titles could be combined in a ladder match at Wrestlemania. A lot of existing talent on the WWE roster would get the opportunity to shine.

Step 3: Make ECW the exclusive home of new talent.

If anyone enters WWE, they have to start in ECW. This will allow the company’s minor-league call-ups to get their feet wet without being crushed by the big stars every week.

WWE can also invite promising independent talent to wrestle in ECW. It won't matter if they win or lose. The fans could vote on who they like the best, and the two who receive the most votes every six months will earn a full-time contract.

This will allow fans to see guys like Low-Ki, Chris Hero, Bryan Danielson and Mike Quackenbush, and, if the fans want them in the big time, they will be there.

To make it in WWE, the new guys would have to go through veterans like Tommy Dreamer, Stevie Richards, Hardcore Holly, William Regal and Val Venis.

This plan would energize all three brands. Every wrestler would be important in the context of his or her show, so every match and every interview would be important.

It would shake up the WWE and attract new fans to all three shows. Let's see it!

Cleveland Cavaliers: Standing Pat Not Such a Good Idea?

Jeff D Gorman — Sat, 05 Apr 2008 01:35:44 -0400

Standing pat is a tactic a team will occasionally use to make sure a good season is followed by another one.

However, the Cleveland Cavaliers are now learning that that strategy wasn’t a good idea.

The Cavaliers reached the NBA Finals last season for the first time in history. General Manager Danny Ferry decided to keep the team together and avoid making any major changes.

He failed to realize that for a team to have a great year; it must have talent and good fortune. It’s not easy to see your own team’s flaws when things go well one time.

Despite the Cavaliers’ success, they had a lot of flaws last year. They didn’t have a true point guard. They didn’t have big-man depth behind Zydrunas Ilgauskas. They did have the tendency to stand around and wait for LeBron James to bail them out.

That’s exactly what LeBron did most of the time. Still, he needed some help.

That need became apparent when Sasha Pavlovic and Anderson Varajao both held out for more money at the start of the season. The fact that the Cavaliers ultimately re-signed both men indicates that these deals should have been worked out in the off-season.

Instead, the Cavaliers staggered out of the gate while Boston, Orlando and Detroit grabbed the top three spots in the East. Once Varajao shook off the rust (Pavlovic still hasn’t), Cleveland started to play well until half the team was bitten by the injury bug.

Ferry finally bailed the team out—literally at the last minute before the trading deadline—when he dumped Larry Hughes and Drew Gooden onto the Chicago Bulls in an 11-man, three-team deal. The team was re-energized by the additions of Ben Wallace, Joe Smith, Delonte West and Wally Szczerbiak.

We knew it would take time for this group to learn to play together, but the injuries still haven’t gone away. If everyone gets healthy, they won’t have much time together before the playoffs begin.

So as the Cavaliers crawl across the regular-season finish line, they can be comforted that Danny Ferry did the right thing.

Unfortunately, he did it too late.