Bleacher Report - Articles by Ed Cohen

Why Do Refs Help the Offense During Last-Minute Comebacks?

Ed Cohen — Wed, 25 Nov 2009 00:24:48 -0500

Next time you're watching an NFL game in which a team is out of timeouts and trying to score in the last few seconds, watch the officials.

Tell me you haven't seen this a hundred times:

An offensive player is tackled inbounds.The quarterback waves frantically for everyone to line up.

Tick-tick-tick....

Hurry, hurry!

The offensive players race to the line. And so do...the officials!

Look at them, middle-age men in zebra suits running around as fast as they can to spot the ball ready for play in the shortest possible time.

Why?

I mean, what is compelling them to spot the ball any faster than they have during the rest of the game?

There can be only one answer:They want to give the trailing team every opportunity they can to catch up.

Think of it this way:

At any other point in the game, or when the clock is stopped, it takes the officials, say, 25 seconds to retrieve the ball from the last play, toss it to a crewmate to spot on the closest hash mark, and finally signal to the timekeeper to start the play clock.

During end-of-game scrambles, they may do this in as little as five seconds.

This should raise two questions:

If they can do it in five, why don't they do it in five during the rest the game?

On the other hand, if the reasonable time is 25 seconds, why are they going out of their way to do it 20 seconds faster when one team is trying to rally?

It only helps the rallying team and hurts the team trying to stay ahead.

In all fairness, the team that's ahead should be able to count on 20 to 25 seconds elapsing between plays -- all game long . A guy on the other team gets tacked inbounds with 15 seconds left and the clock is running? Game over, no worries.

Instead it's Super Zebras to the rescue.

I'm waiting for the day a coach complains about this help-the-offense, end-of-game scramble on the part of the officials.

It's fun to watch, but it's not fair.

And it makes no sense.

An Ode to Notre Dame Stadium

Ed Cohen — Sun, 02 Aug 2009 15:31:54 -0400

There are people who hear the talk about the Notre Dame mystique—the Four Horsemen, the Golden Dome, Touchdown Jesus—and want to…how to put this…vomit.

This is almost understandable. From afar, Notre Dame appears to get way more attention and plays entirely too often on national TV than its failures against ranked teams in recent years would seem to merit.

But if you’ve ever been to Notre Dame on a football Saturday you know there’s no more wholesome and uplifting place to experience college football—at least not big-time, BCS-grade college football—than this scenic campus near the Indiana-Michigan border about 90 miles east of Chicago.

It’s the Mayberry of college sports.

Here are six reasons why:

1. Football Saturday on campus

You don’t just go to a game at Notre Dame, at least not if you’re smart.You spend all day on campus, which is really just all morning and early afternoon because Notre Dame doesn’t play night games at home.

Many people come to campus with no ticket or intention of buying one. They’ll tailgate in the large grass field a mile north of the stadium that serves as the largest parking lot and then watch the game on a portable TV.

On campus you’ll see the clichéd fathers and sons tossing footballs on one of the wide quadrangles. Smoke ascends from humble food stands set up in front of the dorms. Students grill burgers and brats for sale to make money not for themselves but their dorm’s charity.

Young boys wander the campus hawking game programs like newsboys from the 1930s. Many visitors light a candle in the Grotto or half-cave near the shore of St. Mary’s Lake. Notre Dame’s grotto is a scaled-down replica of the famous grotto at Lourdes, France, where the spirit of Mary (“Our Lady” or, in French, “Notre Dame”) is said to have appeared to a 14-year-old peasant girl in the 1800s.

At around K-(kickoff)minus 45 minutes the military-style Band of the Fighting Irish lines up on a walkway in front of the golden-domed Main Building. The walkway isn’t very wide, so when this huge band divides into rows of five or six abreast, it stretches for what seems like a quarter-mile.

At a whistled signal, the band strikes up the world’s most famous fight song, the “Notre Dame Victory March.” Then, led by the leprechaun, cheerleaders and the towering, kilted Irish Guard, they “step off” or begin their march to Notre Dame Stadium. Hundreds of fans lining the walkway clap in rhythm, and as the last row of instrumentalists passes, the fans close ranks and follow in their wake.

2. Unlikely hospitality

“Welcome to Notre Dame” the smiling ticket taker says as you pass through the turnstiles. It doesn’t matter if you’re dressed from head to toe in the opposing team’s regalia. And it’s not just the hundreds upon hundreds of ushers who treat visitors as honored guests. Most fans are polite as well.

If the people taking your order at the concession stand seem unusually personable and non-scuzzy, that’s probably because Notre Dame lets local groups like Catholic schools staff the stands for a share of the profits.

During the pregame ceremonies, the Notre Dame band actually salutes the opposing team and their fans by playing its fight song.

A number of years ago Notre Dame discontinued the practice of announcing the starting lineups because students were engaging in an impolite practice. After each visiting player’s name was read, such as “At quarterback, Tim Tebow,” the students would reply “Sucks!”

Can’t have that.

3. Blessed relief from commercialism

The typical football stadium, college or pro, is covered with advertisements. Heck, the stadium names themselves are advertisements for airlines and cell-phone companies.

Astonishingly, you won’t find a single advertisement on the inside or outside of Notre Dame Stadium.

You won’t be subjected to commercials on the Jumbotron during timeouts either. Because there is no Jumbotron, just a conventional scoreboard with a relatively non-intrusive NBC Sports logo in one corner.

That logo and the overlong TV timeouts permitted to the NBC broadcast are about the only evidence of commercialism in the House that Rockne Built.

4. Egalitarian seating

There are no loges or skyboxes in Notre Dame Stadium. Almost everyone sits on aluminum or, in the original, lower ring of seats, wooden planks with no seat backs. Your ticket entitles you to a position on a plank marked by a number. Onto this number you may plant your butt.

The planks and numbers are slightly closer together in the lower bowl. During cold-weather games you will find yourself huddled hip to hip with parka’ed strangers. You can only hope that obese people are not overrepresented in your row or your space could cease to exist.

The stadium was expanded from about 60,000 to about 80,000 in capacity in 1997 with the addition of the upper ring. Before that, there was a joke that the university had already expanded the stadium one offseason.

They painted the numbers closer together.

5. A football Mass

A game in Notre Dame Stadium resembles, in some ways, a Catholic Mass. As with a Mass, lots of the same things are said and done every time, and it can be disorienting if you’re not familiar with the routine.

When the defense has the opponent in a third-down, students rattle their keys, signifying that this is a “key play.”

The intensely patriotic pre-game liturgy includes a solemn recitation of a mish-mash of verses from the Declaration of Independence and, I think, the Constitution, all to the tune of “American the Beautiful.”

There’s also the long-running tradition of the playing of “1812 Overture” and waving arms at the end of the third quarter, originally a salute to Lou Holtz.

The least pious of the practices has got to be when the Irish go on defense and the band strikes up the angry “Emperor’s Theme” from Star Wars. Students pump their fists in time to the music and chant, “Kill! Kill! Kill!”

6. Fitting endings

Win or lose—and there have been plenty of humiliating home losses in recent years—every game day in Notre Dame Stadium ends the same way.

Students link arms and sway to the alma mater, “Notre Dame, Our Mother.”

The players amble over to the student section and salute their classmates by raising their golden helmets in the air. The ones in the stands really are their peers because unlike at the typical football factory, Notre Dame doesn’t cage its athletes in separate dorms.

At some point in the fourth quarter a retired Indiana State Police trooper, Tim McCarthy, will read a traffic safety reminder with his trademark word play at the end. (His original, from almost 50 years ago, was “The automobile replaced the horse, but the driver should stay on the wagon.”)

There will also be the announcement that 30 minutes after the game, fans can attend Mass in their choice of the beautiful Basilica of the Sacred Heart, catty-corner to the Main Building, or the utilitarian geodesic-domed Stepan Center on the path to the grass parking lot.

A fitting way to end what, for many, will have been a pilgrimage and religious experience.

Top Five Defining Draft Moments in Cleveland Cavaliers History

Ed Cohen — Thu, 18 Jun 2009 00:44:35 -0400

No. 5
1971: Austin Carr, the original tragedy

In their expansion season of 1970, the Cavs lost 27 of their first 28 games, finished a league-worst 15-67, and thereby got the No. 1 pick. This was before the draft lottery.

Carr, the Naismith Player of the Year, was a no-brainer of a pick. One of the greatest scoring guards in college basketball history, he still holds the record for most points scored in an NCAA tournament game (61). He averaged 50 points in seven NCAA playoff games for Notre Dame.

Carr figured to be a great pro, but a series of injuries, including a broken foot that cost him the first month of his rookie year, took their toll. He spent nine seasons with the Cavs. He averaged about 15 points, three rebounds, and three assists a game for his career—good, but nothing to vault the franchise into contention.

No. 4
1985: Blowing the pick when it was right under their noses

The Cavs had the No. 9 overall pick in the 1985 draft and wanted first-team All-American forward-center Keith Lee of Memphis.

The Chicago Bulls had the 11th pick and wanted relatively unknown Virginia Union power forward Charles Oakley.

On Draft Day the teams arranged it so the Cavs would take Oakley, the Bulls would take Lee, and then they’d swap the players. The Cavs’ got journeyman guard Ennis Whatley for essentially trading down two places. Whatley never did anything for them.

It’s bad enough that Lee turned out to be a dud, averaging 6.1 points and 4.7 rebounds in his three-year NBA career. It’s worse that Oakley became a double-double machine and a defensive intimidator in the NBA for nearly two decades. But worst of all, Oakley was a Clevelander, born and raised.

The Bulls made the wiser choice, but even they could have done much better. Two picks after their selection, the Utah Jazz drafted Karl Malone.

No. 3
1980: Idiot in charge

“With the No. 1 pick in the 1982 NBA Draft, the Cleveland Cavaliers select North Carolina forward James Worthy.”

That’s how the announcement should have gone. But instead of the Cavaliers—who had the league’s worst record, only 15 wins, in 1981-82—getting Worthy, it was the Los Angeles Lakers, who were coming off a championship season.

How did this happen?

Through the genius of Ted Stepien, an advertising magnate who bought the Cavs in 1980 and quickly went about making the franchise into the laughingstock of the sports world.

The trade that all-but-landed Worthy on the Lakers (L.A. still had to win a coin flip with the then-San Diego Clippers) originated in 1980.

In January of that year the Cavs traded their 1982 first-round pick and guard Butch Lee to the Lakers for forward Don Ford and the Lakers’ first-round pick in the 1982 draft.

It wasn’t like the Cavs were an up-and-coming team and could imagine that their first-rounder two years in the future would be a low pick. They had gone 37-45 in 1979-80 and would finish with only 28 wins in 1980-81. And it wasn’t like the Lakers’ 1980 pick was such hot stuff. It was No. 22 overall, the second-last pick in the first round.

Instead of getting future Hall of Famer Worthy in 1982, the Cavs drafted guard Chad Kinch of North Carolina-Charlotte with the Lakers’ pick in 1980. In his one-year NBA career, Kinch averaged less than three points a game.

But, wait, Stepien wasn’t done.

In the fall of 1980, the new owner traded the team’s 1983 and 1986 first-round picks and forward Bill Robinzine to Dallas for mediocre forwards Richard Washington and Jerome Whitehead.

Dallas used its stolen picks to draft guard Derek Harper, who went on to play 16 years and finish with the 17th-most assists and 11th-most steals in NBA history, and forward-center Roy Tarpley, who was a star until he ran into drug problems.

The NBA now has a rule against teams trading away first-round picks in consecutive years. It’s known as the Ted Stepien Rule.

No. 2
2003: Cavs win the lottery—and LeBron

There are two reasons why the drafting of LeBron James doesn’t rate as the No. 1 defining draft moment in Cavs history:

1. Incredible as James is, it’s unclear whether he’ll remain with the team beyond next year.
2.The crucial moment that brought him to Cleveland didn’t occur at the draft but at the draft lottery.

Cleveland and Denver tied for the league’s worst record, 17-65, in 2002-03, giving them both the best shot at the No. 1 pick. James, who had just finished high school in Akron, south of Cleveland, was the consensus best player available.

But the way the lottery is set up, both Cleveland and Denver had just a 22.5 percent change of landing the No. 1 pick, less than 1-in-4. They were guaranteed to pick no lower than fifth, but James, Carmelo Anthony, and Dwyane Wade would be gone by then.

As sportswriters Terry Pluto and Brian Windhorst detail in their book, The Franchise: LeBron James and the Remaking of the Cleveland Cavaliers, the Cavs got James because on May 22, 2003, inside a nondescript NBA building in a faceless office park just off the New Jersey Turnpike, four ping-pong balls with the numbers six, two, three, and 12 bubbled up in the draft's lottery machine.

When the actual draft day arrived and the Cavs selected James, it was a mere, if joyous, formality.

No. 1
1986: Instant team...and then its destruction

On Draft Day 1986, the Cavs were coming off a 29-53 season. They had no coach or general manager. And they executed one of the most brilliant drafts in NBA history.

First, they traded their best player, forward Roy Hinson, and $800,000 in cash to the Philadelphia 76ers for the No. 1 overall pick. The Cavs took North Carolina center Brad Daugherty.

With their own first-round pick, No. 8 overall, they drafted skywalking swingman Ron Harper from Miami of Ohio.

They then traded a 1989 second-round pick to the Dallas Mavericks for the player the Mavs had just selected with the first pick of the second round, Mark Price.

Cleveland added one more rookie in 1986: power-forward John “Hot Rod” Williams from Tulane, whom they’d taken a flyer on in the second round the previous year. The Tulane program had been implicated in a gambling scandal, casting a shadow over Williams. He was eventually exonerated, but the complication cost him his rookie season.

In 1986-87, Williams, Harper, and Daugherty all made the NBA All-Rookie first team (Roy Tarpley, too). Price blossomed the following year and became one of the game’s all-time great three-point and free-throw shooters. Even the Cavs’ other second-round pick in 1986, swingman Johnny Newman, went on to a 19-year NBA career.

Hinson never played as well after leaving the Cavs.

Soon after the 1986 draft, Wayne Embry became general manager and hired Lenny Wilkins as coach. It has been widely reported that Embry, while interviewing for the GM job, advised the team to make the Hinson and Price trades.

The following year Embry acquired all-star Larry Nance from the Phoenix Suns for a package of picks and players that included the Cavs’ 1987 first-round pick (No. 7 overall), the future all-star and current Sacramento Mayor Kevin Johnson.

The resulting team of Price, Daugherty, Harper, Hot Rod, and Nance looked like a dynasty in the making. Magic Johnson predicted that the Cavs would be the team of the ’90s.

But Embry couldn’t leave terrific enough alone. He traded Harper, two first-round picks, and a second-rounder to the Clippers for the rights to Danny Ferry and Georgetown flop Reggie Williams.

The Clippers had selected Ferry, the national player of the year at Duke, with the second overall pick in the 1989 draft. But Ferry decided to sign with an Italian team rather than go down the black hole of the Clippers. He agreed to relocate from Rome to Cleveland in return for a monstrous 10-year, $37 million contract with the Cavs.

Harper suffered a knee injury with the Clippers and ceased being the highlight-reel slasher-dunker he'd been in Cleveland, but he went on to win five NBA titles with the Bulls and Lakers.

The Cavs were never as good without him.

In Danny Ferry’s 13 years in the NBA he averaged seven points and three rebounds a game.

He’s now the Cavs’ general manager.

Seven Things the Cavaliers-Magic Series Has Taught Us About Cleveland

Ed Cohen — Thu, 28 May 2009 00:12:20 -0400

1. Mo Williams may be an all-star, but he's not an elite point guard. At least not yet.

In the Orlando series he's shooting 32 percent from the field, 22 percent on threes.

With the Cavs' often-stagnant offense, he, Delonte West and Zydrunas Ilgauskas spend half their time camped out in the corner waiting for LeBron to drive and dish for a wide-open look. They've gotten the looks, lots of them. They keep missing.

Williams has missed the most.

2. LeBron James is the league's best all-around player.

It isn't even close.

Dwight Howard is a star but should not be mentioned in the same breath as James.

Shooting, driving, passing, rebounding, blocking, stealing—LeBron does it all. It's staggering. In this series he's averaging over 42 points, (on 51 percent shooting) and over seven rebounds and seven assists.

If he only had a supporting cast.

3. Ilgauskas has no inside game against quality centers.

Nearly all his scoring in this series has come on uncontested, flat-footed set shots. You're 7'3" and you can't stuff a rebound once in a while?

He's also too slow afoot to defend quicker big men.

4. Mike Brown is a one-dimensional coach.

It's defense, defense, defense. But basketball is a game of offense. Sometimes you just can't stop the other team, no matter how hard you try.

That's been the case against the Magic, who are averaging more than 104 points in this series on nearly 50 percent shooting. During the regular season, Cavs opponents averaged only 87 points a game on 43 percent shooting.

The Cavs can't stop the Magic. Four games prove that. They should try the alternative: outscoring the opponent. But Brown and company either have no imagination or they can't stand the idea of going on the offensive.

Maybe it's both.

5. GM Danny Ferry should have pulled the trigger on a trade at the deadline for a big man who can score.

Everyone was worried that the Cavs needed help at the four or five spot to win in the playoffs. Everyone was right.

The rumor was that Shaq could be had for Sasha Pavlovich, who has rarely left the bench this postseason. Maybe that deal was a fantasy of the media. But it's clear the Cavs needed someone athletic who would score and defend in the low post.

They still need that.

6. The regular season is not an illusion.

The Cavs had the league's best record but struggled against the best teams: 1-2 against the Magic, 0-2 against the Lakers, 2-2 against the Celtics.

The coaching staff insisted that the regular season and postseason weren't comparable.

This series has proved them wrong.

After watching Cavs-Magic, how many people believe the Cavs would win a series against the Lakers or Nuggets?

7. The Cavs must find another star to be LeBron's sidekick. Ideally someone tall.

The experts showered praise on Ferry for getting Mo Williams for the equivalent of the clownish Damon Jones, who thinks himself the greatest shooter in the NBA but averaged less than two points a game this year for lousy Milwaukee.

The Williams trade was a steal.

Now Ferry must do it again.

Of the Cavs' top four big men, three (Ilgauskas, Ben Wallace and Joe Smith) are near or already in the twilight of their careers. Anderson Varejao should be the first big off the bench, not a starter.

The Cavs have two promising rookies, but they need help right away with James looking at free agency after the 2010 season.

James wants to win multiple championships.

Ferry has one last chance to prove he can surround the king with the talent to make that happen.

Cleveland Cavaliers Parody Dos Equis "Most Interesting Man" Commercial

Ed Cohen — Fri, 22 May 2009 16:29:50 -0400

This isn't as funny as the "beer closet" one of a few weeks ago, but it's worth a view.

According to The (Cleveland) Plain Dealer, both of these videos were done by the Cavaliers's own video production team. The new one stars the Cavs' public-address announcer, Olivier Sedra, and some dance-team members.

Coaching Blunder Costs Cleveland Cavs an Overtime Bid in Game One

Ed Cohen — Thu, 21 May 2009 01:49:23 -0400

Rashard Lewis hit a three pointer with 14.7 seconds left to turn a 106-104 lead by the Cleveland Cavaliers into a 107-106 home loss to the Orlando Magic in game one of the Eastern Conference Finals Wednesday night.

With the loss the Cavs surrendered the home court advantage for the series. Game two is Friday night in Cleveland.

No way should the Cavs have allowed Lewis to make that three-pointer.

Cleveland had just rallied to take the lead on an and-one by LeBron James, who had 49 points, a Cavs' playoff record. James's old-fashioned three point play had the added bonus of fouling out Magic center Dwight Howard, who led Orlando with 30.

So here were the Cavs leading by two.

Smart teams don't give up a three pointer when holding a two point lead with under 15 seconds. But the Cavs weren't smart.

During the time out before Lewis's shot, James could be seen telling his teammates over and over, "All we need is one stop."

A complete stop would have been ideal. But just holding the Magic to two would have all but guaranteed nothing worse than overtime.

Cavs Coach Mike Brown should have told his players to go belly to belly with every Orlando player on the three point arc, daring—even inviting—them to drive around them for an open two pointer.

Instead, Anderson Varejao stayed a cautious step away from Lewis, intent on trying to cover both a shot and a possible drive.

Lewis rose up and launched a perfect—and because Varejao was trying to have it both ways—lightly contested three pointer.

The Cavs came out of halftime with a 15 point lead and proceeded to be outscored 30-19 in the third quarter. But even after blowing a big lead, the Cavs were looking at nothing more difficult than winning a Howard-less overtime to grab a 1-0 lead in the series.

One reasonably smart play is all that was required.

They didn't make it.

BCS Chief To Congress: Playoff Would Kill Off Bowls—Kill Now!

Ed Cohen — Fri, 01 May 2009 19:56:15 -0400

Congress is debating legislation that would mandate a playoff system to determine the national champion of big-time college football.

Our national legislature surely has more important issues to tackle. But I know I speak for all brain-possessing college football fans when I say...Hooray! Do it! Do it now!

As the Associated Press reported today, ACC Commissioner John Swofford, who's also the coordinator of the Bowl Championship Series, said switching to a playoff is a terrible idea.

He said it would endanger the old bowl system. The Rose Bowl, the Orange Bowl, the Sugar Bowl—they'd all wither without sponsorships and TV revenue, which would instantly relocate to the playoff games.

And the bad new is?

There is no bad news.

For almost their entire existence bowl games have been nothing more than postseason exhibitions. Only with the creation of the BCS did one of them begin to matter—the national championship game. The trouble is, most years it's not clear which two teams belong in the championship game.

No team from outside the traditional power conferences has ever been invited to the title game, and it's unlikely that one ever would be.

A college football playoff is the most obviously needed innovation in sports, and it has been for decades.

That's not just because a playoff would generate far more interest and far more money than the dozens of existing meaningless bowl games ever have.

A playoff would also be far more fair.

In case you didn't know, all the lower divisions in college football already decide their champion through a playoff. Extend this meritocracy to Division I and finally an undefeated Boise State or Utah has a shot at the national championship.

The only problem with the playoff system as proposed is it's too small: eight teams. Sixteen teams is the right number.

Here's why:

Many would argue that an undefeated Utah or a one-loss USC team that ended the year rated ninth deserved a spot in the playoff. The same would not be said of No. 17 in the polls.

Remember, the only difference between an eight-team playoff and a 16-team playoff is one weekend of games.

To those who would plead for the lives of the bowls, save your breath. The bowls don't even have to disappear. They could be converted into playoff games.

So say goodbye to the Insight.com Bowl that only die-hard fans of the participating teams watch.

Say hello to a first-round, win-or-go-home playoff game that is must-see-TV for every college football fan.

Cleveland Cavaliers Spoof Beer "Closet" Commercial

Ed Cohen — Wed, 22 Apr 2009 19:17:44 -0400

You don't have to be a Cavs fan to love this spoof of Heineken's new walk-in closet commercial. But if you are one, you'll find it even funnier.

Watch it at:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=c4S3X6ZoE8w

Cavs Should Forego Rest, Go For The Record

Ed Cohen — Wed, 15 Apr 2009 15:15:19 -0400

Cavs Coach Mike Brown announced this morning that LeBron James, Zydrunas Ilgauskas, Mo Williams, Joe Smith, and Ben Wallace will all sit out tonight’s season finale at home against the 76ers to rest up for the playoffs.

Wallace is hurt, so he couldn’t play. The rest ought to if they are needed to get the win and the record. With a win the Cavs would equal the all-time best home record for a season, 40-1, set by the Boston Celtics of 1985-86.

Many Cavs fans like Brown’s decision. As one wrote, "What's more important for Cavs fans: going 40-1 at home, or winning the title?"

Why not get both?

Playing the starters limited minutes hardly precludes a title run. Yes, there's always the chance of injury, but that exists in all 82 regular-season games. Someone could get hurt. In all likelihood they won't. Don't live in fear. Don’t coach in fear.

Others aren’t.

Kobe Bryant played 26 minutes in a meaningless Lakers win over Utah at home last night. Paul Pierce played 30 minutes in a meaningless road win over the 'Sixers, who have something to play for tonight. A win combined with a Bulls loss would give them the No. 6 seed in the East.

The Cavs’ players and coaches could take enormous pride in going 40-1 at home and tying the all-time record. Only perfection can break that record.

Go for it.It’s not just a record, it’s a confidence builder. And confidence is more important than rest heading into the playoffs.

The Best and Worst Sports, in Terms of Sportsmanship

Ed Cohen — Tue, 14 Apr 2009 23:25:19 -0400

Fans argue incessantly over which is the best sport, but no ever gets into a shouting match over which has the best sportsmanship. Yeah, I know, that would be ironic.

Maybe this list will light the fire.

Two caveats:

· There are saints and sinners in every sport. This isn’t a tally of which have attracted the most saints.

· Sportsmanship is about manners, and manners generally can’t be legislated. So this isn’t a comparison of rule books to see which ones Emily Post would find most agreeable. This is simply a rating of the major sports based on how customary it is to see good sportsmanlike practiced at the sport’s highest level today.

The Best

4. Football

Good sportsmanship is not only witnessed in football, it’s legislated. You can be penalized for “unsportsmanlike conduct.” The NCAA has outlawed “excessive celebration.”

For a while the NFL penalized a team if its fans didn’t quiet down enough so the opposing offense could hear its quarterback’s signals. Not often, but sometimes, you’ll see a football player help an opponent up or tap his helmet or bottom as a compliment on a good tackle.

Opposing players pray together on the field before and after the game. Many shake hands afterward, and it’s virtually unheard of for the opposing coaches not to shake hands.

3. Boxing

Isn’t it strange how good sportsmanship prevails in two of the most violent sports imaginable? Mike Tyson’s earlobe-ectomy of Evander Holyfield was an aberration, to say the least. Boxing matches start with the fighters touching gloves; they’d shake hands if they could.

When a match goes the distance the fighters almost always fall into each other’s arms out of mutual respect. There may be plenty of posturing and taunting at weigh-ins, and Muhammad Ali made his fame acting comically contemptuous of his opponents.

But fighters earn the respect of their opponents when they climb through the ropes, and it shows.

2. Tennis

Tennis may be the only sport in which opponents actually help each other get ready for the match. They hit back and forth to warm up. They always shake hands afterward, sometimes jumping the net.

Before the advent of the Cyclops computerized replay devices, it was common for a player who knew his opponent had been victimized by a bad call from a linesman to volunteer to play a let (replay the point). John McEnroe’s behavior toward officials was disgraceful.

Thankfully, few players have followed his example.

1. Golf

Happy Gilmore is funny because it’s such a departure from reality. Courtesy and compassion pervade golf, especially at the recreational level. Mulligans. Conceding a putt. Being careful not to tread the green between your opponent’s ball and the cup. The winner’s ceremony at the Masters exemplifies golf’s spirit of sportsmanship.

Part of CBS’s montage of Masters memories shows Tiger Woods helping Phil Mickelson into a green jacket. Is there another sport where the dethroned champion personally hands the symbol of victory to his or her vanquisher? (I’m not counting the Miss American Pageant.)

And they do it wearing a smile. Being able to compete fiercely but then share in, and even contribute to, your opponent’s moment of joyful triumph is the epitome of good sportsmanship.

The Muddy Middle of the Road

Soccer

There are plenty of cheap shots in soccer, and it’s standard operating procedure to pretend to be hurt to draw a foul on an opponent. And don’t get me started on hooligans. But there are also occasional acts of good sportsmanship during play.

Sometimes when a player is injured the opposing team will intentionally kick the ball out of bounds to allow the hurt player to receive treatment. When play resumes the team of the injured player will throw the ball back to the team that kicked it out. A nice way to say thanks and play fair.

Hockey

One of the great spectacles of sportsmanship comes during the Stanley Cup finals. After the deciding game of a series, all the players on both teams line up lengthwise along the ice and shake hands with every player on the opposing team.

That doesn’t excuse the cheap shots, the assaults with lumber, and the fact that in hockey, brawling is not just tolerated but celebrated.

Basketball

Players and coaches shake hands before and after games. “Technical” fouls – one of the oddest euphemisms in sports – penalize boorish behavior, at least when it’s directed at the officials. But the sport lacks much in the way of good-sportsmanship traditions. And when it tries to invent them, the failures can be spectacular.

Recall the famous staged layup by Connecticut senior Nykesha Sales in 1998. Sales was two points away from breaking the school’s all-time scoring record when she ruptured her Achilles’ tendon in the second-last game of the season, ending her college career.

The Huskies coach then, as now, Geno Auriemma, conspired with Villanova’s coach to allow Sales to hobble onto the court and shoot an uncontested layup to get the record. Villanova was given a layup of its own to even the score.

This wasn’t good sportsmanship, it was consensual cheating, and for the dumbest possible reason—to manipulate statistics.

The worst

Baseball

Surprised? Even before the steroids scandal, the so-called National Pastime was a model for bad behavior. At the end of the next World Series, count how many of the losing team’s players and coaches come out of the dugout to congratulate the victors. If tradition holds, the number will be zero.

Same as after every other major league game. Baseball may be the only sport where the ball is sometimes employed as a weapon (pitchers intentionally trying to bean batters.) Cowardly retaliation can go on for days.

To the utter boredom of spectators, stalling is practiced as a tactic of distraction on both offense (stepping out of the batter’s box) and defense (pitchers repeatedly lobbing the ball to first or walking around the mound).

Batters baldly cheat by obliterating the lines of the batter’s box. Some say the quote was taken out of context, but it’s a baseball manager, Leo Durocher, who has gone down in history for declaring, “Nice guys finish last.”

He might have added, “And sportsmanship is for the golf course.”