Bleacher Report - Articles by Gilligan Henry Dorpfeld

Midget Wrestling: Entertainment or Brutal Exploitation?

Gilligan Henry Dorpfeld — Thu, 30 Jul 2009 23:36:16 -0400

One subject that I rarely see discussed on this site is the topic of Midget Wrestling. I was wondering why I rarely see any mention of little people, with the exception of a few off-color Hornswoggle jokes from time to time, of course.

The word "midget," itself, is now widely considered to be a racist term that is generally looked upon as being degrading to "little people" (the, newer, more politically correct term used for wee folk these days).

For years Midget Wrestling was a permanent fixture as a sideshow of the WWF (now WWE) and featured a variety of midget wrestlers who would appear on wrestling cards all around the country with regularity. Little people have played a large role in the popularity of Professional Wrestling since the 1940's.

In 1986 at Wrestlemania 2, The Haiti Kid, one of the more popular midget wrestlers of his time, even appeared in a main event match, where he manned the corner of Mr. T in a boxing match against Rowdy Roddy Piper.

At Wrestlemania 3, the tag team of The Haiti Kid, Little Beaver, and Hillbilly Jim (a normal-sized wrestler) battled King Kong Bundy and two small wrestlers. During the match King Kong Bundy body slammed Little Beaver, broke his back and ended his career. This was not part of the "show," but a real "accident" that essentially crippled the man.

After that tragic incident Midget Wrestling began to decline and little people were used largely as comic relief by the WWE.

Probably the most notable midget wrestlers since that time have been Dink the Clown and, more recently, Hornswoggle.

Midget Wrestling has sharply declined since the 1990's, largely due to the WWE's mainstream commercial appeal. Engaging little people in "Sports Entertainment" has been viewed as somewhat taboo by some.

It appears that mainstream wrestling organizations like the WWE really don't want to press their luck and chance alienating their "family friendly" audience that butters their bread.

So, where does that leave the little people who still aspire to be Professional Wrestlers?

The independent circuit is where most of them ultimately wind up. The most notable troupe of Midget Wrestlers can currently be found in the Micro Wrestling Federation (MWF) which was formed in 2000 and is made up entirely of little people.

The MWF has been widely criticized by The Little People of America as being a degrading spectacle and brutal exploitation of little people.

Now, a midget hardcore wrestling division even exists (Half Pint Brawlers).This crew boasts such acts as:

Little Justice, The Public Midget Prosecutor; Teo, The Tattooed Midget; Mad Mex, Immigration Sensation; Little Kato, The Dwarf Destroyer, and Puppet, The Psycho Dwarf (I've also seen him billed as Puppet, The Midget Killer).

Wrestlers in this circuit have been known to attack each other with staple guns. Some of the female performers of this circuit recently incited a near riot a by appearing topless in a public venue.

This is all real, ....I swear. I couldn't make stuff up this funny (or insane, depending on your perspective).

Some people here will probably find this next little tidbit somewhat deplorable, and maybe even deranged, but I just have one question to ask: Why the hell isn't this stuff on television?

This is a show that I would actually watch. From my vantage point it seems a hell of a lot more of an interesting and entertaining spectacle than the watered down PG version of wrestling that we have today in the WWE.

And watching TNA these days is about as riveting as watching a pot roast get slow cooked in an oven.

Lastly, on the bizarre subject of Midget Wrestling, I'll leave you with this tragic story that I came across while researching the subject of abused little people in the Professional Wrestling business. They say that truth is stranger than fiction, so here goes:

On Wednesday, July 1, 2009 two Luchador midget wrestlers were found dead in a hotel room in Mexico. Their deaths apparently occurred because of some extremely unusual and ghoulish circumstances, I would say.

The wrestlers, Alberto and Alejandro Jimenez, were brothers and were reported to be the victims of a spiked drink chemical that turned out to be lethal.

The wrestlers were reported to be in the company of two female prostitutes, and were found dead without any trace of physical violence. They were missing their personal belongings, which were, in all likelihood, stolen by the hookers.

The drinks were a mixture of alcohol and eyedrops, commonly mixed as date surprise sex drinks (don't get any stupid ideas, you idiots).

My guess is that these women prepared a dose of this stuff for a normal-sized man and gave the brothers a lethal overdose.

Now that I've bummed you all out with that last "cheery" little tale I'd like to get some feedback on whether or not you guys think that there is a place in Professional Wrestling for "Midget Wrestling," or you think that it's just ruthless exploitation of little people and a spectacle of the past that's better off left alone.

B/R Alter Egos: What Are They, and Why Are They Here?

Gilligan Henry Dorpfeld — Tue, 12 May 2009 16:55:00 -0400

What is the definition of an alter-ego account here on Bleacher Report?

As I understand it, an alter ego is an alternate account created by an existing member that operates under a pseudonym or pen name.

Ever since I arrived here on Bleacher Report, I have read comments by members discussing the topic of alter-ego accounts.

Most of the time, I see people accusing other members of having these alter egos, and sometimes I see members getting accused of being the alter-ego accounts themselves.

I, myself, in my brief time here, have been accused of being an alter-ego account by no less than four B/R members. I have been accused of being the alter-ego creation of:

A writer who is barely literate, and more closely resembles a cartoon character than anything else I can think of at the moment.
A notorious B/R troll who continues to plague the community incessantly.
A member who seems to spend most of his time here seeking out and persecuting trolls and has actually even harassed me on several occasions.
A Bleacher Report administrative official.

To add insult to injury, I've even had an actual troll accuse me of being someone's alter-ego account here. The rumors are indeed spreading.

Why are so many members of Bleacher Report so concerned with alter-ego accounts here? Why do some people actually seem to fear them?

I was starting to see a pattern of obsession and paranoia going on here in this "virtual community," and that prompted me to explore this issue further and write this article.

First, let me dispel some myths and discuss some of the actualities about alter-ego accounts:

Alter-ego accounts are NOT always used for malevolent purposes, or created with nefarious intentions in mind, as some here have vehemently suggested.

Alter egos ARE subject to B/R's Terms of Agreement policies, just like any other member, so they can be reprimanded and banned just as easily as anyone else if that person decides to conduct themselves in a disruptive or anti-social manner.

The truth of the matter is that alter-ego accounts are generally just a way for a member to establish a new identity that allows them to express themselves in a manner that is "out of character" for their "normal" selves.

An alter-ego account can be serious, silly, spiritual, boisterous, benevolent, madcap, odd, etc. An alter ego is essentially used as a vehicle for online role playing.

If there are writing goals that someone wishes to accomplish that seem to be too far out-of-character for their current identity, then this is where an alter ego can come in handy.

An alter-ego account can allow a writer a generous degree of anonymity within the confines of their favorite sporting section, as well. As sports fans go, often arguments will occur when two people are fans of rival teams.

An alter-ego account can often be used to discuss a sports-related topic with a previously hostile member, or others, without having to relive any of the previous animosities exhibited by the person they were in disagreement with, or other fans of the rival team.

An alter ego can allow a writer the chance to critique a player or a team more freely without attracting a host of "enemies" that will follow that writer from thread to thread to badger them unnecessarily.

In other words, the alter ego can be used to take some of the heat off the writer in certain situations.

The concept of an alter ego is often mistaken with that of a troll. Trolls are pretty much defined by their intention to annoy others and their propensity for maliciously disrupting online communities with their bothersome and anti-social comments and patterns.

Alter egos are generally not trolls, and usually wish to express themselves constructively rather than disruptively.

To gain some good insight into what constitutes troll-like behavior, as well as acceptable B/R etiquette, these are two links written by community members that I would highly recommend:

http://bleacherreport.com/articles/170127-br-helpful-hints-comment-thread-etiquette

http://bleacherreport.com/articles/147175-trolling-what-it-is-and-how-to-fight-it

All that being said, I, Gilligan Henry Dorpfeld, will neither confirm, nor deny, that I am an alter-ego creation, as some have claimed, of an existing community member or any member of the Bleacher Report staff.

As far as I know, I'm still a snarky, witty, little person (I reject the unflattering term "midget" wholeheartedly) with bad teeth who still believes, beyond a shadow of a doubt, that professional wrestling is absolutely real.

People here should try to remember that truth is often stranger than fiction, so I'll leave that out there as a possible hint to the truth of the matter on this subject.

Also, conventional wisdom suggests that a book should never be judged by its cover. And finally, as a side note, in cyber space every last one of us can be classified as an alter ego, if you really think about it. So why sweat it?

—Gilligan Henry Dorpfeld

aka B/R Devil's Advocate Supreme

aka Master of All Pork Rhines and Dietary Supplements

aka Planet Earth's Ultimate All-Purpose "Go To" Guy

aka Mr. Global Fashionista

aka Enemy of All Fresh Water Fisherman

aka "Skillet"

Why B/R Writer Ranking Rules Must Change

Gilligan Henry Dorpfeld — Thu, 30 Apr 2009 21:52:57 -0400

Many members on this site have questioned the accuracy, fairness and the very legitimacy of the Bleacher Report Writer Rankings, and with good reason.

This article is specifically designed to address the ongoing controversy over some of the site's top-ranked writers and whether or not they are deserving of the recognition and accolades they receive.

The most common complaint that I hear with regards to writer rankings is that quality writing is, for the most part, ignored in favor of quantity.

In other words, the more articles someone writes, no matter how sub-par or sometimes even idiotic they are, the writer will automatically be rewarded by B/R administration officials and given approval and recognition for these questionable, at best, literary works.

Fyodor Dostoyevsky and Henry Miller are two amazing writers, and because of their brilliance they are universally recognized as the true geniuses that they are.

So why are they recognized as visionaries and regarded as the best writers of their respective generations? Because their overall talent is taken into account by their literary peers.

Q: What if the Bleacher Report Writer Rankings System was used to determine the overall literary significance of great writers such as these?

A: They would probably have to take a back seat in the rankings order to local hack writers that crank out three or more crappy romance mystery novels a year. You know, the type of books that target bored, zoloft-popping, horny housewives by the dozen and make a great splash with their target audience, but wouldn't be found anywhere near a respectable institution of higher learning.

Thank God that the ranking rules of this site do not apply to our educational system or else we all might wind up reading Peanuts and Marmaduke cartoon captions as we try to earn our MFA's in creative writing.

What I'm trying to say is that the Bleacher Report Ranking System does not, in any way, shape or form resemble the type of standards that we use to measure greatness or success in the non-cyber realm of the "real world". This has got to change.

In all fairness, I feel that the Bleacher Report Administrators do a really amazing job here, but when it comes to the writer rankings there have been too many "loopholes" left open for opportunistic and scurrilous individuals to "beat the system", so to speak. These individuals fully understand that they can diligently scribble a bunch of semi-literate nonsense onto a "paper" and publish it, thus assuring themselves of instant notoriety and literary "success" with regards to the rankings here. This is not how things are supposed to be, even if you use Bleacher Reports own guidelines for writer rankings, as I will clearly demonstrate to you all.

Bleacher Report's criteria for writer rankings are as follows:

"While Bleacher Report emphasizes inclusiveness, we recognize that quality is what matters most. That's why our reputation system, Writer Rankings, aims to distinguish the best of the best, by recognizing Top Writers who...

Contribute quality analysis by writing and publishing their own articles.
Back up their opinions with well-argued responses in the comment threads.
Build fanbases by engaging with other site members.

Those who do make it to the higher levels of the Top Writer Rankings are rewarded with more visibility on the network, and greater odds of their work reaching the Front Page.

The net result is a vibrant sports media outlet where expert fans collaborate to produce passionate, polished sportswriting for the pleasure of readers worldwide."

It is painfully obvious that several individuals on this site that are recognized by administration as "top writers" here clearly do not demonstrate the ability to meet at least two of the three main guidelines given to the community with any type of regularity.

They simply crank out little pile of turd after little pile of turd to keep themselves afloat and their positions in the rankings secure until it's time for the next bird dropping to be gleefully excreted.

I know this may sound a bit harsh to some here, but I'm sure that most of the more dedicated, talented and experienced writers here are probably right there with me on this one.

I won't name any names out of respect. I certainly don't want to call anyone out or embarrass someone unnecessarily, but I think that we all have our own ideas about who the most blatant offenders have been here on this site.

The same principle applies to some of the better writers here who find themselves without anywhere near the recognition of some of these glorified hacks.

In my opinion, there has to be a higher standard applied to the articles that are created here and the writers that write them. That is the only way that true excellence can be measured in a forum like this.

In theory, the Bleacher Report guidelines appear to be pretty sound ones, but the problem is that they don't seem to be applied correctly or diligently by those who enforce the rules here.

Keep in mind, this observation is by no means intended to slight Bleacher Report Administrators. I fully realize that applying these principals can sometime be a very subjective matter, and their job, above all, is to maintain an atmosphere of comfortability and harmony for members here.

That being said, there still has to be some way of making their decisions easier, more objective and less controversial with regards to choosing who represents the best of the talented writers here.

I propose that the "star" system is not utilized enough by members of this site. If someone writes an article, they should be graded "on the record" for it. Those articles that receive more stars will receive more credit than those that are not credited. This rarely seems to happen though.

One of the problems with the star system is that I don't believe that most members even understand why it's there and what it's utility is. Therefore they simply ignore it.

That is why I propose that the star system be abandoned and changed to a letter system with instructions of their purpose and use beside them so they can be understood clearly and fit to be utilized correctly by all.

Articles can be graded A, B, C, D or E.

As tempted as I am to suggest an F grade, I realize that this would probably only tempt people, like myself, to intentionally belittle certain writers and their articles for no other reason than to publicly shame them, or simply because: it's simply just a sh*t load of fun to do belligerent stuff like that.

No, we have to be a bit more mature here. An A through E system will do just fine. This system will hopefully give writers a good enough reason not to just throw out some rough-drafted pile of dung into cyberspace to pollute all our minds with.

It will also be a guideline for administrators to use for determining who they will reward for their hard work here.

I wrote this article with the hope that a lot of people in the community would share their thoughts on what solutions they think might be acceptable alternatives to the current rankings system, and how we, as a community, can improve on the current situation with regards to writer recognition here.

Please leave a comment and let's solve this problem together as a group.

The collective will of a people is always stronger than the existing difficulties we face. Any problem can be solved diplomatically if we stick together.

- Gilligan Henry Dorpfeld

aka "Skillet"

aka Bleacher Report Hall Monitor and Brown Nose

aka Sheep in Wolves Clothing

aka Mr. Behavior Problem

aka Enemy of All Inorganic Dairy Products