Comparing Each NFL Team to Its Cartoon Character Counterpart
When comparing NFL teams to cartoon characters, it can become rather difficult.
For example, is any team deserving of being compared to the ultimate cartoon character, Mickey Mouse? Or what about Winnie the Pooh and Bugs Bunny?
Well, I've done by best, so please enjoy as I give you every NFL team's cartoon character counterpart.
Arizona Cardinals: Spider-Man
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If you've ever watched Spider-Man cartoons, which I've obviously done quite a bit, you come to realize that Spider-Man always beats the bad guy at the last minute.
With the Arizona Cardinals, and specifically Patrick Peterson, winning a handful of games at the last moment, it makes sense that these two are counterparts.
Atlanta Falcons: Inspector Gadget
Just look at all those tools that Inspector Gadget has at his disposal. I mean, the guy has a screwdriver for a finger. How awesome is that?
Much like Mr. Gadget, the Atlanta Falcons are loaded with weapons on their roster. From Matt Ryan, Julio Jones and Roddy White to Ray Edwards, Sean Weatherspoon and Michael Turner, the Falcons are loaded with weapons.
I wonder which player is the helicopter-out-of-the-hat player?
Baltimore Ravens: Rocky and Bullwinkle
Did you know that The Rocky and Bullwinkle Show first aired in 1959? That means they've been around for over 50 years.
Much like Rocky and Bullwinkle, the Baltimore Ravens roster is loaded with players that have been around for over 50 years. Seriously, doesn't it seem like Ray Lewis has been dominating opponents since 1980?
Buffalo Bills: Winnie the Pooh
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Maybe it's the fact that the Buffalo Bills lost four straight Super Bowls in the early 1990s. Whatever it is, you can't help but love and feel bad for them.
Much like Winnie the Pooh, no matter what Winnie does, you still love him.
Carolina Panthers: Yogi Bear
There wasn't a single picnic basket that was safe in the forests roamed by Yogi Bear. No matter how much food he ate 20 minutes ago, Yogi was always hungry for more.
You get that same feeling about the Carolina Panthers. Thanks to Cam Newton, it appears as if this team is ready to devour the entire league.
Chicago Bears: Fred Flinstone
If you want a hard-working, middle-class cartoon citizen, look no further than Fred Flinstone.
If you want a hard-working, middle-class football team, look no further than the Chicago Bears.
Cincinnati Bengals: The Rugrats
You've probably never admitted this to anyone, but you know that you love The Rugrats. They were young, but they were a solid group of kids.
The Cincinnati Bengals have surprised everyone this year as they've been successful with such a young group of players.
Cleveland Browns: Eeyore
There isn't a cartoon character that is more dull and boring than Eeyore from Winnie the Pooh. He was such a downer that you almost felt bad for him.
For the past decade, the Cleveland Browns have been exactly like Eeyore, dull and boring. You also can't help but feel bad for the state of their franchise.
Dallas Cowboys: Charlie Brown
You remember how Lucy would always tee-up the football for Charlie Brown and then pull it away at the absolute last second to leave Charlie Brown flat on his face?
Do you also remember how the Dallas Cowboys always have the season teed up and then completely whiff on following through?
See where I'm going with this?
Denver Broncos: Superman
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I'll make this as simple as possible.
Tim Tebow is Superman.
Detroit Lions: Beavis and Butthead
The last time that the Detroit Lions were relevant to general public was back in the 1990s. However, they've made a resurgence back into the spotlight.
The same could be said for the popular show Beavis and Butthead, as after a long hiatus, the ridiculous duo is starting to make a comeback.
Green Bay Packers: Mickey Mouse
When it comes to cartoon characters, Mickey Mouse is the best there is.
When it comes to football teams, the Green Bay Packers are the best there is right now. Also, Aaron Rodgers looks eerily similar to Mickey Mouse.
Houston Texans: Sylvester the Cat
For his entire life, Sylvester the Cat spent every waking moment figuring out how to eat Tweety Bird. However, when he finally caught Tweety, something would always come up that wouldn't allow him to get that meal he had been looking for.
Since the Houston Texans became a franchise, they have been attempting to get that elusive playoff berth. Now that they finally have it, injuries have come up that will stop them from making an impact.
Indianapolis Colts: Popeye
Without his spinach, Popeye was an unimpressive specimen. However, after that delicious spinach touched his lips, he turned into an unstoppable force.
In this example, the Indianapolis Colts are Popeye and Peyton Manning is their spinach. Without Manning, the Colts suck. With him, they are an impressive team that can beat anyone.
Jacksonville Jaguars: Goofy
In the cartoon world, Goofy was the laughingstock of the group. He never really had any street smarts and was always good for a quality laugh when the rest of the group needed one.
Right now, the Jacksonville Jaguars are the laughingstock of the NFL. They just simply can't do anything right.
Kansas City Chiefs: Bart Simpson
If I were a principal at a school, which will never happen for numerous reasons, the last student I would ever want to see walk through the door would be Bart Simpson. He was an absolute menace to school and society.
The Kansas City Chiefs have been a menace to football teams in the past few weeks. First, they ruined the Green Bay Packers' chance at perfection. Then they lost to the Oakland Raiders, which screwed the Denver Broncos.
At least the Chiefs don't go around mooning everyone like Bart Simpson did.
Miami Dolphins: The Grinch
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The Grinch spent his entire life trying to ruin Christmas. Ultimately, he changed his mind and failed.
The Miami Dolphins had a chance to ruin the New England Patriots' chances at home-field advantage in the playoffs. They ultimately failed at doing so.
Minnesota Vikings: George of the Jungle
If Jared Allen isn't an exact replica of George of the Jungle, then there is something wrong with the world.
I mean, look at that picture of George and look at a picture of Allen. They are identical.
New England Patriots: Captain America
Captain America was a little twerp who turned into something great. Before he was Captain America, he was nothing.
There isn't a better team in the NFL at turning nothing into something than the New England Patriots. Plus, they have Tom Brady, who most likely dresses up as Captain America for Halloween.
New Orleans Saints: Quick Draw Mcgraw
There isn't much to know about Quick Draw McGraw other than he was a sheriff who was quick at drawing his gun.
No offense in the league is as quick-scoring as the New Orleans Saints. I'm actually quite certain that they can get up and down the field quicker than an actual bullet.
New York Giants: Elmer Fudd
The New York Giants have had a few opportunities to run away with their division this year. However, every chance they get, they stutter and fall flat on their face.
Whenever Elmer Fudd gets Bugs Bunny in his line of sight, he stutters and lets his golden opportunity go.
New York Jets: Cartman
Whenever Cartman or the New York Jets open their mouths, it is almost guaranteed to be a lie.
Neither this cartoon character nor the team can tell the truth about what is going on.
Oakland Raiders: Two-Face
The Oakland Raiders' season has been so up and down that it's almost like they flip a scratched-out coin before the game starts to see which team will show up.
Now, it isn't as bad as life and death like it was for Two-Face, but it still is a serious matter. I mean, we're talking about the playoffs in Oakland here.
Have you seen their fans?
Philadelphia Eagles: Richie Rich
No team spent more on free agents this past offseason than the Philadelphia Eagles. They signed big free agents like Nnamdi Asomugha, Jason Babin and Cullen Jenkins.
In fact, the Eagles spent money like Richie Rich used to in his cartoon show. Heck, some of their free agents are as useless as some of Richie Rich's possessions (Asomugha).
Pittsburgh Steelers: Bugs Bunny
Both the Pittsburgh Steelers and Bugs Bunny have been good at what they do for years upon years.
Bugs has ruled the cartoon world while the Steelers have ruled the football world. I've also heard this rumor that Ben Roethlisberger keeps a bag of carrots on the sidelines to snack on during games.
Okay, I made that last part up, but you almost believed it, right?
San Diego Chargers: Scooby-Doo
I'm not saying that the San Diego Chargers are a bunch of stoners or that they love to eat ridiculous amounts of food.
One thing that Scooby-Doo was always afraid to do was take the next step. This is where the Chargers are similar to Scooby-Doo: They are scared to take the next step.
It seems that every year people are talking about this year being the year that San Diego makes that next step in the playoffs. However, every year they fail to do so and are left being held by Shaggy.
San Francisco 49ers: Underdog
Did anyone think that the San Francisco 49ers would be 12-3 heading into Week 17 this year?
They were underestimated from the start of the season. You see, they could be considered "underdogs" this season.
If you don't see the connection here, you probably need to go back to school and learn basic problem solving again.
Seattle Seahawks: Batman
Batman is my least favorite superhero because the truth is that there is really nothing "super" about him. He can't fly or shoot webs from his wrists. All he can do is some kung fu and get cool toys from other people.
Much like Batman, the Seattle Seahawks don't really have anything "super" about them. Yet, they still make it work somehow.
St. Louis Rams: Mr. Magoo
I'm not sure if Mr. Magoo is technically blind, but I'm pretty sure that he has no idea where he is going with his life.
Similarly, the St. Louis Rams have no idea where to go with their franchise. They thought they were moving in the right direction until they ran directly into a wall this year.
See, that happens when you don't wear glasses, Mr. Magoo and St. Louis. Get yourselves a pair of glasses and stop walking into walls.
Tampa Bay Buccaneers: Powerpuff Girls
I had a hard time coming up with a cartoon character counterpart for the Tampa Bay Buccaneers, so I started to really think how I could classify their style of play this year.
What I came up with is that Tampa Bay has been playing like girls this year. The Powerpuff Girls, although awesome, are still girls.
I'm sorry Tampa Bay, but you've been playing really bad this year.
Tennessee Titans: Meg from Family Guy
Anyone who watches Family Guy knows that Meg is not the star of the show. She's good and enjoyable to watch, but no one's favorite character is Meg.
In Tennessee, the Titans are like Meg in that people enjoy watching them, but they are nobody's favorite team. That honor either goes to the Tennessee Volunteers or Alabama Crimson Tide.
Washington Redskins: Wile E. Coyote
Every single elaborate plan that the Washington Redskins have come up with in recent years has literally blown up in their faces. Just look at Albert Haynesworth or Donovan McNabb to see where I'm going with this.
Wile E. Coyote always had the most intricate plans that seemed to be thought through. However, when the time came to kill the Road Runner, the plan would literally blow up in his face.