Notes from a WWE FanGirl: 'Twas the Night Before Christmas

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Notes from a WWE FanGirl: 'Twas the Night Before Christmas

‘Twas the night before Christmas and all through the arena, not a superstar was stirring, not even John Cena.  The stockings were hung by the Trinitron with care, in hopes that St. Vinny-Mac soon would be there.  The superstars were nestled, all snug in their beds, while visions of championship belts danced in their heads.  Alberto Del Rio in his scarf, and John Cena in his cap, if this were a match, we’d all be taking a nap. 

Suddenly on the roof, there arose such a clatter, the entire roster woke up to see what was the matter.  Away past the locker room, they flew like a flash, Stone Cold chugged his beer, Evan Bourne hid his stash.  They spilled into the GM’s office and looked to the sky, Hornswoggle excitedly danced while R-truth got high.  When, what to their wondering eyes should appear, but a limousine sized sleigh and 8 superstars dressed as reindeer.  With the surly old driver and his big red sack, they knew in a moment it was good ol’ St. Vinny-Mac.  More rapid than eagles, his reindeer, they came and he cursed and he hollered and called for them by name. 

“Now Miz, now Truth, now Punk and Mysterio.  On Austin, on Rock, on Show and Del Rio.  To the top of this ladder, to the top of the wall, dash away, dash away, dash away all."  The wind was blowing and the moon was bright, an air of excitement blew through the night.  Over the houses and parking lot, the reindeer they flew, with a sleigh full of goodies and St. Vinny-Mac too.  With a bang and clang, and the loud sounds of hoofs, the reindeer rumbled and tumbled onto the roof.  The superstars cheered, "Oh what did he bring!?"  Suddenly they realized he was headed to the ring. 

He walked down the ramp like he had as stick up his ass, there was no denying it, St. Vinny-Mac had sass.  His eyes didn’t twinkle, he was not gleeful or merry.  His cheeks were not rosey, in fact, he was downright scary.  He spoke not a word but went straight to his work, he ripped down all the stockings, man what a jerk.  He gave Kelly Kelly a kiss, and Beth Pheonix a spider.  He went right past Daniel Bryan, and laughed at Zack Ryder.  A personality for the Bellas, who he did stop to ogle, Tan in a can for Sheamus and stilts for Hornswoggle.  

He headed towards Christain, but was looking towards Randy, all the superstars know MITB briefcases come in handy.  He stopped with a laugh that shook the arena "You people really thought I’d put the belt on anyone but Cena!?”  He sprang for his sleigh but was clotheslined by Big Show, they tied him to the ring, he had nowhere to go. 

They all took turns and gave him a beating, Shad stomped on his head and said “remember me at the next talent meeting."  They headed back up the ramp and into their beds, to rest their bruised egos and lay down their heads.  John Cena yawned, “I know you all hate me and the IWC is probably right, but still...Merry Christmas to all, and to all a goodnight.”

Happy holidays, everyone.

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