HUMOR - It's hard to believe it, but MLB opening day is just 98 days away. While teams across the league are readying themselves for spring training, their marketing departments are preparing for the 2012 fan experience.
In-stadium promotions have long been a part of sports, and while some work out well and are a big hit, others fail to produce such positive results.
Here are some brilliant (well, probably not) ideas for every team in baseball. If anyone out there has an idea of their own feel free to chime in!
Arizona Diamondbacks: Boycott the Boycott Day
For a number of fans in Arizona, any day can be considered boycott day as they push against the immigration reform bill signed in their home state in April 2010.
With a number of the aspects of the bill blocked by a federal judge, maybe it's time to boycott the boycott and fill a stadium that sits barely half-full on a nightly basis.
Atlanta Braves: Franks Red Hot Day
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The Atlanta Braves already have some talented starting pitchers in the rotation, but a number of young prospects appear poised to break into the rotation in no time.
A jar of Frank's Red Hot Sauce® would be a good reminder for any Braves fan about the young fireballers they're going to get to see in the coming years.
Baltimore Orioles: Baltimore Broom Night
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Baltimore fans will have a useful keepsake to take home as they can use the brooms to clean their basements, somewhere the Orioles are likely to once again call home in 2012.
Boston Red Sox: Beer in the Bullpen Day
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If the Boston Red Sox pitchers are already drinking in the clubhouse, why not invite fans out for a postgame happy hour in the bullpen?
Chicago Cubs: Albert Pujols Going Away Party
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Albert Pujols has punished many teams during his career, but none more so than the Chicago Cubs.
With 53 of his 445 career home runs coming against the Cubs, nobody is happier to see Pujols leave town than the Wrigley Field faithful.
Chicago White Sox: Kenny Williams Legos Day
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Chicago White Sox GM Kenny Williams is working hard this offseason on rebuilding the team into a World Series contender once again.
On Kenny Williams Lego's® Day kids at the Cell can do some building of their own.
Cincinnati Reds: "Lets Make a Deal" Day
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The Cincinnati Reds were clearly looking to pump up their starting rotation with the acquisition of Mat Latos, and they sold off a number of pieces to do so.
Fans at the Great American Ballpark should be allowed a day to wheel and deal at the concession stands.
Cleveland Indians: Drew Carey Glasses Night
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Since I don't live in the Cleveland area I can't say for sure, but I'd have to believe there has at some night been a "Drew Carey Glasses" night at an Indians game.
Colorado Rockies: Tim Tebow Day
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Lets just face it, every day in Denver is Tim Tebow day.
Detroit Tigers: Verlandering
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Since Tebowing will be taking a back seat during the NFL offseason, the Detroit Tigers should make it a point to encourage their fanbase to start the next big thing involving baseball's best player.
Coming to a strikeout near you next season: Verlandering.
Houston Astros: Pay the Fans Night
Because ownership is going to have to do something to bring people to the ballpark after a 106-loss season.
Kansas City Royals: Speed "Dating" with the Royals
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The good news for fans in Kansas City Royals fans is that the team is showing real signs of progress and is working to compile what will be a competitive team in the AL Central.
Between trades, free agent signings and call-ups, however it would be useful to get a quick rundown with each player so some fans know who they're cheering for.
Los Angeles Angels of Anaheim: Opening Day/World Championship Celebration Day
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It seems like the hype surrounding the Los Angeles Angels signings of Albert Pujols and C.J. Wilson have propelled them into Miami Heat territory when it comes to buying a championship.
If they're that confident of their chances, why not celebrate their World Series victory on, say, Opening Day.
Los Angeles Dodgers: Lawyer Appreciation Night
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In 2007 the Florida Marlins held Lawyer Appreciation Night.
It seems only fitting to hold the same event in Los Angeles given the legal battles that took place with Dodgers ownership in recent years.
Miami Marlins: $15 Beer Day
Tom Szczerbowski/Getty Images
Hey—the team has to pay for their suddenly inflated payroll somehow.
Milwaukee Brewers: Free Candle Day
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Held during every home game during the Milwaukee Brewers' first two months of the seasons, free candles should help shed some light on the situation during the power outage the team will see without Ryan Braun and Prince Fielder in the lineup.
Minnesota Twins: Joe Mauer Bengay Day
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In case anyone in attendance faces a bout with general soreness while watching the Twins struggling offense at Target Field.
New York Mets: Open Mic Night
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Since tag-board signs made by fans don't seem to reach New York Mets ownership, an open mic night might be a good idea so Fred Wilpon can clue into what moves might fill seats in a relatively new stadium that's a third empty on a nightly basis.
New York Yankees: Derek Jeter Autographed Ball Day
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Oakland Athletics: Sophie Horn Day
Philadelphia Phillies: "Be Glad You Got In" Day
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With Citizens Bank Park at nearly five percent over capacity every night, a fan should be glad they're able to get inside any chance they get.
Pittsburgh Pirates: Andrew McCutchen ________ Day
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Canvas photo wrap, bobblehead, jersey. You name it, Andrew McCutchen has had a promotional item for it.
Since McCutchen is still the most (only?) recognizable player in a Pirates uniform, the team will probably slap his name on anything they want and call it good.
San Diego Padres: Snuggie Night
Originally thought up by the NBA's Cleveland Cavaliers, amassing the most snuggies in one place for a World Record seems to be the "in" thing to do.
The Cavaliers' World Record of 20,562 was broken by the Los Angeles Angels, and since the San Diego Padres won't have a chance to beat their in-state opponent on the field, maybe they can beat them in the snuggie department.
San Francisco Giants: Tim Lincecum Turf Grower
In 2010, the Cincinnati Reds ran a ballpark turf grower promotion which was considered one of the best promotions of the year in all of baseball.
The San Francisco Giants could give it a go in 2012, although they'd want to make sure Tim Lincecum knew what kind of grass to grow if he got his hands on one.
Seattle Mariners: Vuvuzela Night
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With the Seattle Sounders FC in town, Seattle residents probably already know about the always-obnoxious sound of a vuvuzela.
Like it or not, the vuvuzelas make a lot more noise than the Mariners stagnant offense.
St. Louis Cardinals: Carlos Beltran Sticker Night
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When the 2012 season gets underway, fans in St. Louis will for the first time in over a decade be without Albert Pujols.
After that long of a tenure, fans have no doubt compiled a great deal of Pujols merchandise. The Cardinals could cure that by providing stickers/patches to all fans in attendance so they can remove their memory of Pujols by transitioning to Beltran's era as the team's slugger.
Tampa Bay Rays: Nickelback Night
Gregory Shamus/Getty Images
Bringing Nickelback in to perform at halftime of the Detroit Lions game on Thanksgiving day was a huge hit and should definitely be utilized again in Tampa Bay.
Wait, no it wasn't. But then again nobody seems to go to games in Tampa anyway so who would really notice?
Texas Rangers: Silver Medal Day
Silver medals for all fans in attendance. Why? Because as the Texas Rangers have shown two seasons in a row —and there's nothing wrong with second place.
Toronto Blue Jays: Jose Bautista Beard Night
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For years, fans have felt the need to mimic the facial hair of their players, perhaps most recently would be the Minnesota Twins' fans with Carl Pavano's mustache.
What better way for the Toronto Blue Jays to pay homage to their slugger than to make 25,000 fans look just like him?
Washington Nationals: Eye Black Day
What better way to welcome the future of the Washington Nationals franchise into town than getting everyone in attendance to don the eye black in true Bryce Harper fashion.
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