Who needs Pau Gasol when you've got a big man who can dance like Patrick Patterson?
Okay, so maybe the Houston Rockets would take an All-Star seven-footer over a sophomore whose moves vaguely resemble those of the late, great Michael Jackson.
Patterson partook in the Rockets' rookie dance competition (even though he's not a rookie) earlier this week, showing off his moves to "Thriller" to the not-so-huddled masses at Toyota Center.
It wasn't the most thrilling rendition of the 1980s classic, to be sure, but you can't really fault the kid for trying. Imitating the King of Pop on the dance floor is no easy feat.
New head coach Kevin McHale can only hope Patterson will put forth a better impression of a breakout power forward when the Rockets tip off the season against the Orlando Magic on Boxing Day (the day after Christmas, for those of you less inclined to celebrate British national holidays).
Luckily, Patterson has shown much greater promise putting his footwork to good use on the basketball court. The kid out of Kentucky posted averages of 6.3 points and 3.9 rebounds in just 16.7 minutes over 52 games last season. He's no Yao Ming, but he's still got some promise.
And if Patterson's rhythm ever fails him, he can always get it back so long as he follows Thabeet.
Hasheem Thabeet, that is.