Comparing Today's Hottest Athletes to Vintage Sports Babes
When I want something new, I make sure it is something worth buying. It could be a new car, television, chopper, or appliance but it has to be worth the time it took me to buy it.
Female athletes are the same way. If I was a fan of a sexy female athlete from the past, the next version has to be something worth buying. She has to be hotter and more successful the the former.
For Anna Kournikova's sake, we might go a bit lenient on the successful part.
So let's take a walk down memory lane, for most of you that are under 31 years of age at least, and remember some of the best looking women to play sports. Then, like we always do, compared them to a better version in today's sports world.
Old: Martina Hingis
We should get this party started off right with a proven party princess, Martina Hingis. She partied so hard in 2007, she had to retire.
Well, she tested positive for using cocaine and shortly retired thereafter instead of appealing the ban. If one night of partying can force a legend into early retirement, I want an invite.
New: Ashley Harkleroad
Although her short lived professional career never gained much respect, Ashley Harkleroad did earn the title of being the first professional tennis player to pose for Playboy.
For those of you searching, let me help. It was the August 2008 issue of Playboy. You are welcome.
Old: Summer Sanders
Summer Sanders was a sex symbol of US swimming in the early 90's. She won plenty of medals in Barcelona, four to be exact, and has since become known for her many television appearances including her recent stint on Celebrity Apprentice in 2010.
She is set to appear in the Food Networks upcoming reality show, Rachel vs. Guy: Celebrity Cook-Off.
New: Amanda Beard
Have you seen the issue of Playboy featuring Amanda Beard?
If yes, move on.
If no, what are you doing with your life? Really? If you are reading this and have not seen Amanda Beard's issue of Playboy you should pause your life and indulge yourself into the awesome and clearly tasteful photo's of her in the magazine.
Come on man!
Old: Jennifer Capriati
Jennifer Capirati will always be remembered as the teenager that took over professional tennis. She was only 13 years old when she faced Gabriela Sabatini and Martina Navratilova in tournament finals.
Oh yeah, she also raked in about $300,000 that year. Eat that Justin Beiber.
New: Vera Zvonareva
What is it about Russian female athletes? Do they breed these beautiful women to play sports or vice versa?
Vera Zvonareva is another, in a long list of hot Russian tennis players, to climb the rankings. She is currently ranked 7th in the WTA.
Old: Amy Acuff
Female high jumpers always had one of those body types that all men are fans of. You know, the long skinny, tight, sexy ones?
Amy Acuff has one of those bodies to go with an amazing talent. She once jumped over a pole that was six feet seven inches high. Wow!
New: Darya Klishina
If you thought high jumpers were hot, just wait until you meet Darya Klishina, a Russian long jumper and future Olympic medalist.
This beautiful blonde was barley a blip on the radar screen before 2010 but she will certainly be on the map of almost every man, and even some women, by the end of 2012.
Old: Gabriela Sabatini
Gabriela Sabatini is sexy. She was once an Argentinean tennis pro rocking the sports world with her amazing backhand combined with those incredibly long and sexy legs.
Could there be a better comparison than Maria Sharapova?
New: Maria Sharapova
If you had to classify Maria Sharapova's tennis game, where would you rank her among the best all time?
She would easily make the top ten and that has nothing to do with her stunning beauty or amazingly sexy legs.
Old: Irina Slutskaya
Aside from having the greatest last name in sports hotties, Irina Slutskaya is a former Olympic figure skating silver medalist from Russia.
From the late 90's into the mid 2000's, Irina was as dominate as they are in Russian figure skating. She won more Gold medals at the European Championships than Donald Trump pays his hair stylist for implants. She was that good.
New: Tanith Belbin
Tanith Belbin is retired. How did I miss that? She made two appearances in the Olympics, not enough for my eyes, finishing no better than second place in 2006.
Oh well, maybe she will decide to make a comeback in 2014. We shall see.
Old: Laura Baugh
Laura Baugh is a beautiful former professional golfer that knows what alcohol can do to a person. She ended up at the Betty Ford Clinic in 1996 thanks to a drinking problem mixed with emotional issues.
She surely was hot though. That is something that no amount of baggage can change.
New: Natalie Gulbis
Having a rocking body was never a requirement for female golfers or professional athletes. It was just something that became a part of the sport thanks to Natalie Gulbis.
Natalie posed for FHM in 2004 and has since become known has the sexiest US female golfer ever. I would agree.
Old: Chris Evert
I might be the only one that would say something like this but who else thinks Chris Every today is sexier than Chris Evert back then?
Nobody? It is just me then, huh? Oh well, I still think she is better looking now than she was back in the 70's.
New: Anna Kournikova
Anna Kournikova is not the newest model on the lot but she is still one of the hottest.
She proved that being talented is not as important as being hot. Maybe that is why we love Kim Kardashian as much.
Old: Katarina Witt
It is still amazing to see Katarina Witt and wonder how she managed to figure skate while those enormous pair of fun bags rested atop her chest.
How did she do it? On ice? In ice skates? Without toppling over every night?
New: Kiira Korpi
Kiira Korpi is starting to gain plenty of attention and at the right time. When a female figure skater becomes a bigger topic of discussion than any other female athlete in a non winter Olympic year, that is impressive.
She is just young enough to make it to the next Olympics. Oh yes, she is also Finnish, that would be a plus.
Old: Dominique Dawes
The one female gymnast from the 1996 Summer Olympics in Atlanta that was almost forgotten was also the hottest female gymnast the USA has ever produced, Dominique Dawes.
Dominique is not only the hottest but she has more Olympic team medals than any other US gymnast ever with three.
New: Alicia Sacramone
If Alicia Sacramone wants to compete with Dominique Dawes, she has to recover from her ruptured Achilles tendon injury she suffered this past year.
I hope she makes it back in time for the Olympics, we could use her. Until then, we will watch her boyfriend, Brady Quinn, backup the immortal legend known as Tim Tebow.
Old: Cristie Kerr
Cristie Kerr's first LPGA tour win came in 2002 and she still plays. So why classify her as old?
Well, she was an incredibly talented amateur in the 90's, dominating the amateur circuit. She carried the success over into the professional tour in 1996 when she was only 18.
New: Sophie Horn
You may take your pick of things Sophie Horn is good at. She has already become my number one favorite female golfer, now I might include her as one of my favorite models.
When does the Lingerie Golf Tour begin? I would think Sophie should be a part of that tour, am I right?
Old: Gabrielle Reece
I remember being a kid and flipping through the ten channels we had on the tube one Saturday afternoon. I was bored to tears because it was raining outside and had nothing to do inside. Then I came across a beach volleyball game featuring Gabrielle Reece.
I not only found something to watch for the rest of the day but I learned about a beautiful woman that puts on a bikini to go to work. Amazing!
New: Jessica Gysin
Allison Stokke was the biggest internet phenom of the 2000's. She made a name for herself when she was in high school at a track meet and some creepy guy snapped a few photos of her and posted them online. The rest is history.
Then comes Jessica Gysin, a former USC beach volleyball player. She might not have been the first unknown internet sensation, but she was the first to play beach volleyball, World's sexiest sport.
Old: Gussie Moran
Gorgeous Gussie deserves all the praise and respect of any professional sports hottie today. She is the reason these women dress the way they do and look they way they want to. She was the original.
Gussie Moran was a solid tennis star known for her good looks and short skirts. She was wearing outfits in the 1940's that would have made Serena Williams uncomfortable.
New: Anna Rawson
From my angle, it looks as if Anna Rawson is golfing wearing pink underwear.
Yeah, I am sure of it now. That is what she is wearing. How is the LPGA struggling to sell tickets? Seriously?
Old: Oksana Baiul
When I think about winter sports a few names always seem to pop in my head. Oskana Baiul is one of them. She was one of the first women of the winter games that left us with a lasting impression.
She came, she won Gold, she left the sport. It is better to retire at the top then fade away.
New: Julia Mancuso
First Oksana Baiul, now we get Julia Mancuso.
She is the definition of cute. Her precious smile and next door girl looks helps her appeal to all men and women. Now if only they could change the USA uniforms to something like this. That would be alright in my eyes.
Old: Mia Hamm
Mia Hamm was the original female soccer hottie in the US. She became known for her combination of good looks and great play. Then she married that guy from Boston.
What was his name again?
Oh yeah, Nomar!
New: Alex Morgan
The difference between the original female soccer hotties and the players of today is more one-sided than a race between Usain Bolt and Larry Flynt.
Alex Morgan is still the hottest female soccer player on the planet but there is a long list of second place patrons that could one day dethrone the queen. Only time will tell.