Tim Tebow vs. Chicago Bears: How to Do "Tebow Time" Against the Bears
1. Use your skill as a quarterback to make sure that Bears quarterback Jay Cutler is injured well before your game with the Bears, because you're only going to get your team 10 points in regulation, and you know darn well Cutler would top that number.
2. Use your skill as a quarterback to get your defensive players to keep you in the game.
3. Use your skill as a quarterback to make the offensive coordinator for the Bears repeatedly call three straight runs into a wall of defenders, resulting in a series of three-and-outs in the second half, even though just a few more first-downs would win the game for the Bears.
4. Use your skill as a quarterback to make the defensive coordinator for the Bears change his game plan, which has stuffed you for three quarters, leaving your receivers wide open in the middle of the field in the fourth quarter.
5. Use the skill of any high school quarterback to throw twenty-yard passes to those wide open receivers.
6. Use your skill as a quarterback to make the Bears running back run out of bounds even though staying in bounds would win the game for the Bears.
7. Since you can't get your team into the end zone very often, use your skill as a quarterback to make your kicker able to kick 59-yard field goals.
8. Use your skill as a quarterback to make the other team's running back fumble the ball, thus blocking his team from victory for the second time.
9. Watch as someone else wins the game for your team, and then soak in the adulation, smiling cutely as the media and Denver fans scream that "Tebow did it again." Praise your teammates, but make it look like you're being magnanimous in doing so.
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