Wanted: Head Football Coach
Pennsylvania State University is currently seeking a qualified individual for the full-time appointment of head football coach.
The primary duties of this position will focus on the rebuilding and overall development of the football program's image.
Other duties will include the successful recruitment of qualified student athletes that will represent the university ultra-competitively in the Big Ten Conference and on a national level, while keeping the primary focus on the academic integrity that is required at Penn State.
Salary: $20,000.00 annually
Oops! Scratch that salary.
While you're at it, discontinue this entire ad immediately.
The last time Penn State was in need of a new head football coach was in the year 1966. Joe Paterno, the bespectacled 15-year assistant, was offered the position following the retirement of his mentor, Rip Engle, whom he followed to the sleepy little town of State College from Brown University.
There, Engle was the head coach and Paterno played the quarterback and cornerback positions.
And it was procured with a mere handshake. No contract.
That was the last time Penn State was in need of a new head coach, and I believe it should remain that way...for now.
Just days after the university announced the formation of a six-member search committee (only one member with connections to the football program, mind you) to seek out a full-time replacement, newly anointed university president Rod Erickson said he had hoped to hire a new coach before the Nittany Lions Ticket City Bowl game against Houston.
According to the Fujita Scale, which is used to rate the intensity of a tornado by examining the damage it has caused, the tornado of turmoil that hit Happy Valley a little over a month ago is somewhere along the lines of a F-6.
To try and name a successor and cleanup crew in such a short amount of time would be an immeasurable mistake that would most likely lengthen the program's restoration project considerably.
There is an old saying: "Marry in haste and everyone starts counting the months."
We all have come to the realization that Penn State football will no longer be the same.
How can it be?
But for the sake of Erickson and his committee (joined by Jordan are an investment manager, three career academicians and a woman's volleyball coach), they better get this one right.
The following are several factors, listed in no particular order, that are needed to be taken into account if they are to proceed as scheduled in replacing the legendary Joe Vincent Paterno, still affectionately know as JoePa.