Perfection in Reverse
Congratulations, Lions fans! You wanted a perfect season. Well, you got it!!!
We At WORST ILLUSTRATED want to celebrate this 0-16 season!!!
While others want to make fun of this disaster, we feel that it takes a great lack of management, coaching skill, talent and good luck, to become the ultimate symbol of futility.
Worst Illustrated proudly presents...
THE PERFECT SEASON!!! The 2008 Detroit Lions Commemorative Package. Here's what you get...
First you get this commemorative book. Made by inmates currently residing in a maximum security prison, this hand-crafted book will make for a good door stop.
Inside, you'll read the stories of Matt Millen's failures. From the numerous coaching changes, to his lust for every wide receiver the draft can provide, you get it all.
From every fumble, to every dropped pass, from every sack on Jon Kitna, to every missed tackle, from every excuse Rod Marinelli came up with before the game, to every excuse Rod Marinelli came up with after the game, you'll get it all! A bird's eye view of the historic ineptitude of this team.
Your commemorative book comes with photos that show the season from start to finish. From Matt Ryan's first career TD pass, to Kevin Smith's outrageous unsportsmanlike conduct penalty against Green Bay, you'll get clear cut view of what it's like to be the worst team in NFL history. But wait, there's more! If you order right now, using your credit card, you will receive two additional gifts...
This authentic "chumpionship" ring is made of 100 percent-recyclable aluminum and glittered with 16 cubic zirconia diamonds, representing every historic loss. Hand crafted by a group of hobos, this ring is the perfect gift for your laid-off husband to take to the recycling center. But wait, there's more...
Also included, is this "chumpionship" baseball cap. Made by the finest sweatshop workers in Indonesia, this cap pretty much says it all. A perfect gift for your son to wear, while getting beat up by bullies. This whole package is yours for free. Why? Because nobody, in their right mind, will buy it. We just want to get this crap out of our warehouse!
So please take this gift... Please? Ok, we're begging you!
There will never again be a team like the 2008 Detroit Lions (God willing).
Some say "Get into it"; we say "Get out of it while you still can!!!"