It's fair to say that there are plenty of footballers whose style choices can at times be described as questionable.
All too often the chattering classes like to leap upon any sartorial own goal or extravagant purchase as an excuse to back up the old adage that money cannot buy taste, a symptom of their struggle to accept that so many working class men can earn such vast sums of money just for kicking a ball around.
However, there are times when it has to be accepted that players sometimes decide to invest their wealth in styling themselves in a way that most people would never consider.
Here are a dozen examples of some of the worst fashion trends among footballers.
There is nothing bad about tattoos per se. Recent years have seen people in all walks of life get inked in ever increasing numbers. In the right hands, it can be considered a genuine art form.
But some players just take it too far. Witness the ugly arm-coverings of a number of footballers, which look less like body art and more like a discoloured bodysuit.
Some have patterns that creep up the neck and peep out from the top of their shirt, while others have cod-philosophical phrases scrawled in Sanskrit or oriental characters.
It seems only a matter of time before a player gets a full, Mike Tyson-style facial fix.
It was most likely some marketing whiz at a sportswear company rather than a player who came up with the idea for stitching individual names onto boots.
What started off as a canny PR stunt has become a plague.
Now every average schmo in the game has their name, their initials and number and even the names of their children on their footwear.
The trend reached its nadir in November when, following the completely pointless and fabricated row over England's players not being allowed to wear poppies on their shirts when they played Spain in a friendly, Theo Walcott and several other players had a small image of the flower stitched on to their boots.
There is, of course, nothing wrong with paying tribute to the armed forces in whatever way you see fit, but it did smack of an opportunistic gimmick from the kit manufacturers.
Tottenham Hotspur's Gareth Bale recently celebrated a goal by removing his boot and revealing it to have the name of Gary Speed etched into it, in honour of his recently-deceased countryman. That was one of many touching tributes paid to the late Wales manager, but such moments should be the exception and not the rule.
Carles Puyol. Fabricio Coloccini. David Luiz.
Fine defenders, one and all, but who ever saw the hairdos they were sporting and told them it was a good look?
And, for that matter, what exactly do they ask for when they go into the barbers?
Puyol and Coloccini both would not look out of place in a Whitesnake tribute act, while Luiz's recent comical displays for Chelsea would make him perfect for the part of Sideshow Bob if they ever made a live action version of The Simpsons.
Most hairstyles, no matter how outlandish, can work out when worn by the right person in the right way.
That even applies to the aforementioned poodle, though only in exceptional circumstances.
The same goes for the Mohawk, a footballing trend which, like so many, was popularised by David Beckham.
More recent examples include those of Raul Meireles, who has let his central plumage grow into something of a bouffant, and Marek Hamsik, whose spiked top would not look out of place in a Manga cartoon.
This is not particularly against ponytails in football as a whole—after all, it's easier for a long-haired footballer to play if their flowing locks are tied up during a game—but one in particular.
Zlatan Ibrahimovic hardly needs to give people another reason to get on his back, but he did just that when, at the start of this season, he began wearing his hair up during games.
When you already have long legs and a nose which could be likened to a beak, is it really so wise to wear your ponytail so high that is makes him look even more like some kind of giant prehistoric bird?
The style which is all business at the front and party at the back has had a long and fruitful relationship with football.
From the days of Charlie Nicholas and Frank Worthington, to Chris Waddle and Barry Venison, players through the ages have always sported the most baffling of hairstyles—by choice.
However, these days it seems it is players from Spain who are keeping the mullet alive. Both Cesc Fabregas and Fernando Torres sported the infamous do during their younger days, and it is a legacy being maintained today thanks to the likes of Athletic Bilbao's Iker Muniain.
Mario. Oh, Mario. Why always you?
The Manchester City striker seems incapable of doing anything normally, not even making a trip to the hairdressers.
Not content with merely getting a style which is too similar to a Brazilian for comfort, Super Mario also had it bleached and got an enigmatic pattern shaved into the remaining hair that looks like one found in a crop circle.
In keeping with the way they do things at City these days, there was even a news story about it on the club's official website. No, really!
Woe betide anyone who leaves a footballer alone with a bottle of hair dye. The consequences could be disastrous.
One recent example of what can go wrong is Tottenham midfielder Sandro's atrocious effort whereby he combined several bad haircuts all at once and topped off his mullet/mohawk combo by dying the shaven sides blue.
But the man who has repeatedly lost his battle with the bottle is Paul Scharner. The Austrian midfielder is now at West Brom, but during his time at Wigan he indulged in many ill-advised bouts of colouring.
One saw him create an odd blonde-and-black patchwork on his head, while another added streaks of red and blue to his barnet.
But the worst was on his final match at Wigan, when he has the word 'Thanx' (sic) died into the back of his head as a parting gift to Latics fans.
This is another recent phenomenon which has been embraced enthusiastically by today's metrosexual footballers.
Of course, players need a bag with which the take their shower gel, shampoo, etc. into the showers with them after training every day, but does it have to be those rather effeminate, strapless clutch bags?
Louis Vuitton seem to have cornered the market in these, probably because they are the most expensive and have the most logos per square inch.
But seriously, when you see a burly, six-foot-plus defender emerge after training with one of these under their arm, it's not a good look.
Manchester City's Samir Nasri caused quite a stir recently when he was preparing to take to the field as a substitute. For some reason, he did not have his shorts on underneath his track suit, and so had to put them on in the dugout.
That gave the eagle-eyed cameraman an opportunity to grab a glimpse of his snazzy briefs, which were decorated with lots of multi-coloured hearts. Very kitsch.
Still, it's not the most ostentatious showing of novelty underwear. That honour has to go to Stephen Ireland, who once celebrated scoring for Manchester City by dropping his shorts to reveal a pair of Superman pants.
All of us have seen football kits we would rather forget. There are plenty of other slideshows on this very website dedicated to those.
What is a new phenomenon is the idea of doing something "different" with a club's jerseys, usually with questionable results.
For example, Mexican first division side Jaguares to Chiapas announced at the start of the season that, instead of their players' names being printed on the back of their shirts, they would be using their Twitter handles instead. That must be fun for the officials and commentators.
And then there is La Liga side Sevilla, who are giving their fans the chance to have their own face printed on the club's shirts for just €25 a pop. If you are thinking of doing it then don't expect your likeness to be life-size: the club plan to squeeze as many as 3,000 individual 2mm x 2mm images on the back of each jersey.
The former Nigeria defender may be retired now, but his eccentric hair styles deserve an entry all to themselves.