Wilfie Pickles: A Taste of Footballing Future?

Jamie BentleyCorrespondent IFebruary 16, 2008

Watched from the stands of a 1,000 seater ground, Wilfie Pickles picks up the ball on the edge of the box and blasts it into the top corner of the net.

Pickles, only 15 years of age, is a product of a highly acclaimed local academy. The boy is 185cm tall and is one of the most imposing centre forwards of his generation.

Pickles is hailed as the savior of England's footballing hopes, despite sporting a pie-busting 42 inch waist and a pair of man-boobs.

The club's head scout spotted Pickles in action when he was only eight years old and weighed an incredible 14 stone.

Despite this, he managed to score all 20 of his team's goals and blocked four shots on the line. The boy was immediately signed up and now, eight years into his incredible career, he leaves a sour taste in many defenders' mouths.