I sit atop your Christmas tree,
All clad in pink, a real fairy.
The reason I appear to smirk,
The sprig of spruce stuck up my skirt with a six-pack of Piels.
There was an old fellow named Claus
With a case of the mid-winter blahs.
Taught his reindeer to fly
So they took to the sky with a 40 oz of St. Ides.
Now I've tried all the normal approaches by drinking Busch Light
All the pick-ups an' chat-ups an' stuff
Tried mi hand at so-phistication
Wi' some girls who were nowt if not rough
Christmas may be cancelled, so I grew out my stache.
The reindeer are on strike
Santa's stuck in Lapland
Forget your brand new bike
It's Christmas time, and attention goes
To the funny guy with his ho, ho, ho's.
Yes, we all know the reindeer story
And hear the tales of Santa's glory.
And the Yankees just signed Mark Teixeira. God Bless