NFL Considers "Toilet Bowl"?

Bryan ShipleyContributor IDecember 24, 2008

I've often wondered if the NFL would contemplate such a thing as a Toilet Bowl?

Think about it: The worst team from each conference could play each other for the right to the number one overall pick in the draft. The game could take place during that week between the conference championships and the Super Bowl.

It would have to be played in a neutral site of course. Somewhere like Siberia or Lesotho, where the fans would be getting their first taste of NFL football, and the players wouldn't be able to enjoy it.

Every rostered player would have to at least attend by order of NFL rule, or otherwise suffer a year long suspension. Such is the punishment for futility of the highest order. 

To make things interesting for a television audience, each series would have it's own specific rule, to be drawn out of a hat directly preceding the possession. For instance, in one series, the teams might only be able to play with 8 players. Perhaps the offense is allowed 12 to the defense's eight. Something like that.

Maybe the offense is only allowed passes of 20 yards or more in a particular series.

Maybe they get seven downs.

Maybe a first down is 38 yards instead of 10. Who knows. Only the hat, that's who.

What if there was no punting, or say on fourth down, the DB's had to be replaced with cheerleaders.

There's no end to the fun we could have at the expense of these millionaire underachievers. I say we start a petition today. "Dear Mr. Goodell, we the undersigned hereby declare the following intention to humiliate and belittle your employees and constituents in the proposed fashion..."

It's worth a shot.


Bryan Shipley is a dimwit and jaggov. You can reach him at bryanshipley1984@gmail.

The email address is not clickable. I'm like an eighty year old man, and have no idea how to make things go to the proper place when you click on them. Really, I'm not even certain how I clothe myself in the mornings.