In the wine-sinks where Leafs fans and Canucks fans gather these days, a lot of whining, ranting, and raving is going on.
In one corner: the trade talkers. Who should go? Who shall stay? Do we have a hope in hell of making the playoffs? (That would mostly be the Canuck fans; even the die-hard Leaf lovers are willing to concede now.)
Pounding the table for emphasis, they will reason their choices, pontificating. Should Vancouver get Sundin? What about Forsberg? What the hell is up with Luongo?
Maybe they should call in a voodoo lady to break the jinx on their defense.
In the other corner, the Toronto corner, among the littered bottles and peeled labels you'll find the cynics heralding the end of the world. Trade Sundin. Keep him. Get rid of Tucker, put him out to pasture, call up the kids, start over, tank the season, save the season.
Everyone has an opinion, all of them are asinine, and none are likely to pan out before the trade deadline.
So my suggestion is this: combine the two teams. The Leafy Canucks! I’m sure there is a graphic artist out there somewhere who can come up with a great logo—even ugler than the Canucks'. Something fuzzy and cute to match the Olympics mascots.
The sad thing is, even with the two clubs combined, making the playoffs would still be an uphill battle. I might as well grab a Crown on the rocks and take my place at the bar, bemoaning yet another year in which the Cup stays south of the border.
Montreal fans and Ottawa fans may be too different, so they find solace in another establishment up the street. Maybe it's a classier joint, but the fans are choking on the smoke and delusions.