So 2011 was kind of a downer overall, right? A presidential primary, an NBA lockout and a wicked lame BCS rematch in NCAA football. No thank you.
Whether or not 2011 was an overall net loss for sports is yet to be determined, but the one thing we can say for sure is that there were plenty of sexy moments worth watching in 2011.
I've compiled the top 50 Sexiest Sports Moments in 2011, as determined by me for your viewing pleasure. Take a gander, enjoy the amazingness, and obviously feel free to let me know what I've missed!
Here are the top 50 Sexiest Sports Moments of 2011
Bears quarterback Jay Cutler might be something to see on the field (from time to time), but thanks to his volatile relationship with Laguna Beach hottie Kristin Cavallari, he's something to see off the field as well.
Cutler and Cavallari's on-again, off-again relationship is officially back on! The pair are re-engaged and it looks like we'll have a wedding to ogle this NFL off season.
Celebrity couple nickname: JayStin...no doubt, the future name of their first born child.
At a press conference during the 2011 U.S. Open, Caroline Wozniacki had a little fun at superstar Rafael Nadal's expense, when she imitated his overly dramatic leg cramp performance at his own press conference the day before.
The 21-year-old took a lot of heat for her so called "disrespect," but it was obvious she was just having a little fun. A sense of humor is sexy and being an oversensitive complainer who is allergic to fun is not.
NFL punters/kickers take a lot of flack for not being "real football players," but like it or not, they provide a service that is as valuable (if not more) than the majority of the "real" players on the team. Perhaps it's in the interest of self-preservation, but most kickers tend to stick to the "seen and not heard" code of conduct expected of them.
Vikings punter Chris Kluwe was much the same way until failed NFL receiver Nate Jackson, who scored less points in his entire NFL career than some kickers score in a single game, had the nerve to suggest (publicly on Deadspin.com) that he was nothing more than a scrawny turncoat whose main purpose is to serve as a sacrificial meal to the "real players" in the event of a plane crash.
Jackson probably expected him to slink away with his tail between his legs, but Kluwe took a stand for World of Warcraft playing nerds everywhere and absolutely eviscerated Jackson (less than 24 hours later, publicly on Deadspin.com) with the biting wit and pitch-perfect sarcasm of someone who never bowed down to a bully in his entire life.
Capitals slumping superstar Alexander Ovechkin might not be the best looking guy in any room, but that doesn't mean he can't land the best looking broad in any room.
In late November 2011, Ovi announced via Twitter that he was dating tennis goddess, and fellow Russian, Maria Kirilenko. He (smartly) included a picture of the two of them together, just in case you were skeptical of the whole thing. Tweeted Ovi:
Me and my girlfriend Maria….she is my queen!!!!
Well the nation's capital just got a whole lot sexier, and as I resident of said capital, I'm enthused. My advice to Ovi? Lock it down bro...there aren't many relationships that you'd be "the reacher" in...but this is one.
Esquire's feature Me in My Place is a "series of intimate moments with beautiful women," presumably in their own homes. Stacy Keibler took time out of her busy schedule of driving men wild to participate.
Keibler, often dressed in a white tank top and underwear (which she says she lives in), and revealed what she wears when she goes to bed: Nothing.
The good news: Recently retired St. Louis Cardinals skipper Tony LaRussa's crazy hot daughter, Bianca Tai, announced via Twitter that she achieved her dream of becoming an Oakland Raiderette. That was in April, 2011.
The bad news: In late September 2011, Bianca announced via Twitter that thanks to bulging and/or herniated discs, the dream was over.
So I guess it is true after all; nothing good lasts forever.
Czech Republic native Jan Vesely was drafted No. 6 overall in the 2011 NBA draft by the Washington Wizards.
After the selection was announced, Vesely took a moment to plant one on his tall blonde girlfriend Eva Kondouskova, before heading up to the stage to meet commissioner David Stern.
We get it dude, your life rules.
According to Phillies manager Charlie Manuel, 27-year-old pitcher Cole Hamels has finally developed into a man. In June 2011, Manuel said (click the link for hilarious video) of Hamels:
"He's bigger than he used to be. If you see him with his shirt and stuff off, he's developed into a man."
His shirt and stuff off? Well I guess we're going to have to take Manuel's word on that one, but considering this 2009 photo was his jumping off point, Hamels is in mighty fine shape.
Reggie Bush grabbed headlines in June 2011, when it was reported that he was dating model Melissa Molinaro. Molinaro's resemblance to Bush's ex Kim Kardashian did not go unnoticed by anyone, especially Kim, who sued Old Navy for using a model that vaguely resembled her.
Bush and Molinaro may still be together but they haven't been seen together in quite awhile, although Bush has reportedly been seen with someone else recently: Kim Kardashian.
In April 2011, Suns point guard Steve Nash went to see Lil' Wayne's "I'm Still Music" tour in Phoenix. He may have gone for the music, but he stayed for the lap dance courtesy of Hip Hop hottie Nicki Minaj.
Nash was pulled up on stage where he could get a close up, but hands off, view of Minaj shaking her inexplicably heavenly booty which is nothing short of legendary.
Kelli Gillispie plays corner and defensive end for the Minnesota Valkyrie of the Lingerie Football League. When she's not cracking skulls in the LFL, Gillispie, who owns her own business, is also a City Council member serving the good people of Mound, Minnesota.
The first year council woman, and former gymnast, makes no apologies to those who want to talk crap about the LFL's required uniform; and why should she? Girl looks good.
Politics could use more Kelli Gillispies and (way) fewer Newt Gingriches and Anthony Weiners.
When they hired Lindsay Czarniak, ESPN continued their tradition of finding the best of the best beautiful blonde sports broadcasters this country has to offer. The beloved Czarniak is sorely missed in Washington, D.C., but the national capital's loss is the nation's gain.
Unlike the painfully awkward Sara Walsh and boring as crap Charissa Thompson, the competent and confident Czarniak already seems at home on the network and, despite some early nerves, has the best chance to rise to Erin Andrews' status.
Just four days before Christmas 2010, DeadSpin.com reported that Jets head coach Rex Ryan, and wife Michelle, may (or may not) be in the habit of making amateur foot fetish videos and posting them on the Internet.
Well it turns out they were! The whole foot thing may (or may not) be your thing, but you gotta give the Ryan's props for keeping things spicy.
Despite only achieving marginal success as a tennis player over a decade ago, the alluring Anna Kournikova has remained one of the most desired women in the world.
There may be new crop of dazzling tennis beauties to admire, but a suddenly employed Kournikova's new gig on NBC's The Biggest Loser means that she isn't going anywhere.
San Francisco Giants closer donned a spandex tuxedo, white gloves, an orange bow-tie, sweet shades and a cane for the 2011 ESPY awards.
Even if you don't think his whole look is sexy (you're wrong), you have to appreciate the confidence it takes to go anywhere in head-to-toe spandex.
The future Mrs. Jay Cutler (at least for now), Kristin Cavallari, put on her dancing shoes and shook her assets on Season 13 of ABC's Dancing with the Stars, and she looked mighty fine doing it.
Unfortunately she was eliminated in week three of the competition, an inexplicable five weeks before CNN's Nancy Grace.
The Lingerie Football League's Los Angeles Temptation won the second biggest football championship held on February 6, 2011.
The event was a hard-hitting battle that certainly beats the crap out of the puppy bowl and don't even get me started on how much women playing football in their underwear beats being subjected to the The Black Eyed Peas.
Also I'd like to add that, as a Steelers fan, it was the only positive memory of an otherwise very drunken, angry day of trying to start fights with strangers.
The time-honored Gatorade bath after an important victory got a lot sexier in late November when ESPN's (and national treasure) Erin Andrews was caught in the path of Gatorade meant for Baylor quarterback Robert Griffin III following their upset of Oklahoma.
Naturally, Andrews took it like the champ she is and smiled through the whole ordeal, despite being drenched on live television.
Undersized, underdog quarterback Doug Flutie spent some of his best days playing football in New England; both with the Patriots and his alma mater Boston College.
Flutie's smokin' hot daughter Alexa is his biggest fan and now a rookie cheerleader for the New England Patriots.
Free agent wide receiver Terrell Owens' October 25th workout might not have impressed any NFL teams, but it impressed the rest of us mortals.
The general consensus on ESPN seemed to be that the aged rabble rousing Owens wasn't going to attract much interest from NFL teams, given his sordid history and recent injury, but that he had a bright future as an underwear model.
I concur! Doing sit-ups in the driveway does a body good.
Personally, I'd like to see Owens find a team before the end of the season. I like to be entertained, and dude knows how to put on a show.
There isn't much to like about retired Giants running back Tiki Barber. He bailed early on a successful NFL career for a pathetically short-lived career in broadcasting; the highlight of which was dumping his pregnant (with twins) wife of a decade for a 23-year-old NBC intern.
Traci Lynn Johnson is quite a sight, but it says a lot about Tiki Barber that the best thing about him is a home-wrecking 23-year-old bimbo with bad enough taste in men to marry Tiki Barber.
During the 2011 FIFA Women's World Cup, Swedish soccer stunner Josefine Oqvist made hearts race when she made her way to the stands to swap jerseys with a lucky fan after Sweden defeated North Korea 1-0.
Oqvist even let him knock her a little kiss on the cheek before heading back to the field to rejoin her teammates.
I guess we know what story that guy will be recounting to his great grand children.
Even in micro-mini dresses, on their own, Lindsey Vonn and Brooklyn Decker would have struggled to pull the spotlight from Brian Wilson's spandex tuxedo. However, when you put the two of them together, it's a totally different story.
When Andy Roddick's better half presented Lindsey Vonn the 2011 ESPY for Best Female Athlete, the two embraced in their micro-minis, and it was the only time all night that there wasn't a single pair of eyes on the spandex tuxedo.
The jury is still out on his football acumen, but this much we know: New York Jets quarterback Mark Sanchez is a handsome man, a very handsome man.
Sanchize's handsomeness obviously hasn't gone unnoticed by the editors of GQ magazine, who featured him on the cover of the August, 2011 issue.
Sanchize was featured shirtless on the football field, shirtless at the beach with a model, and shirtless in a bathtub flexing the guns. Someone at GQ knows what the ladies like, that's for sure.
In mid-November 2011, Bills wide receiver David Nelson made quite a big production of giving a game ball (and a hug) to his girlfriend, Dallas Cowboys Cheerleader Kelsi Reich, after scoring Buffalo's first touchdown of the game.
Sure the Cowboys were killing the Bills, but Nelson wouldn't let a little something like losing (badly) prevent his romantic grand gesture.
Yankees slugger Derek Jeter's on-again (allegedly) girlfriend, actress Minka Kelly, doesn't need to show up somewhere with her man to get people talking.
In mid-October 2011, a (then) Jeterless Kelly sent the Internet abuzz when she was photographed in a less than platonic looking smooch with (then) Charlie's Angels co-star, Rachael Taylor.
Nobody knows why the pair were kissing, but there was speculation that it was an attempt to help boost the ratings of their (now cancelled) show. Well it didn't work, and although the uninspired CBS reboot was temporary, this photo is forever.
In September 2011, Dallas Cowboys defensive coordinator Rob Ryan proved he wasn't the only Ryan brother with a lust for life…and other things.
Ryan was spotted on the sidelines with a defensive play chart that included a photo of Guess model Diora Baird for additional inspiration.
It seems to be working! The Cowboys won that game and now look to be on pace to win their division, and maybe even compete in the playoffs.
That is if Romo doesn't pull a Romo.
Like former WWE Diva Stacy Keibler, Philadelphia Eagles Cheerleader Stephanie Smith was among those featured in Esquire's Me in My Place series. Smith modeled her cheerleading uniform, baked cupcakes in her underwear and lounged seductively on her bed for the camera.
Ms. Stephanie revealed that that she's a P90X fanatic who likes to dance in the mirror with the blinds open when she's putting on her uniform, just to make sure she looks her best.
Wondering if all that is authentic? Smith, who has good taste in sitcoms, had this to say: "They're real, and they're spectacular."
Emporio Armani sure knows how to hire people who look amazing in underwear! Soccer players David Beckham (with wife Victoria) and Cristiano Ronaldo have both shilled in their skivvies for Armani in the past.
In 2011, tennis superstar Rafael Nadal and seductive sexpot actress Meghan Fox joined the Armani army and produced some of the hottest ads yet. Which is obviously no small feat if you've seen Beckham's ads, in particular.
ESPN: The Magazine's annual Body Issue should really be released in December because the whole thing feels like Christmas for anyone who likes sports and/or nudity.
The 2011 Body Issue didn't disappoint and had a little something for everyone.
Rams running back Stephen Jackson and L.A. Clippers forward Blake Griffin for the ladies (and other interested parties) and U.S. women's soccer Hope Solo, U.S. women's gymnast Alicia Sacramone and snowboarder Gretchen Bleiler for the gents (and other interested parties).
In a July 2011 interview with RawVegas.tv, 26-year-old UFC Ring Girl Arianny Celeste said that, despite her super sexy image, she's still a virgin.
Hey, I don't know if it's true, but I certainly can't prove it's not. Either way though, Celeste, who has appeared in Maxim, FHM and Playboy, knows how to get your attention.
What's that lame saying? Offense is sexy, but defense wins championships? Something like that…although I'm sure the shockingly smug and suddenly unlikable Aaron Rodgers would disagree.
A-Rodge opinions aside, there's no denying that nothing puts asses in the seats like a high-flying, high-scoring offense. That's only because LSU's standout sophomore corner, Tyrann "The Honey Badger" Mathieu, is still playing in the Bayou.
It's impossible to predict how Mathieu will perform in the NFL, but after two seasons with the Tigers, he's got a lot of people believing he's got (at least) the potential to become one of the biggest play makers in the game.
British model Abbey Clancy is the wife of footballer Peter Crouch who plays for Stoke City in the Barclay's Premier League. Clancy's July 2011 feature in Esquire U.K. was everything everything you'd expect and more from one of the hottest WAGs on the planet.
Clancy was featured in various positions, and states of undress, on a lucky motorcycle and in the interview she revealed that she was a "horrifically ugly child" (exaggerated eve-roll) who dreams of becoming a Victoria's Secret Angel.
My guess is she isn't the only one who'd like to see that happen.
As a woman, I can't truly understand the appeal of the catfight. All I know is that, judging from television and movies, men seem to really enjoy them.
Well if an ordinary run-of-the-mill catfight interests you, then a bench clearing brawl between two football teams of lingerie clad women should really interest you.
In December 2010, the LFL's Tampa Bay Breeze and (now defunct) Miami Caliente engaged in a bench-clearling brawl that trumps that was more entertaining than any brawl Josh Beckett has ever manically beaned his way into.
It was suggested the whole thing might have been staged, but my question is: Who cares?
ESPN anchor (and national treasure) Erin Andrews' deal with Reebok was short-lived, thanks to the network's ridiculous rules about corporate sponsorships.
Although, perhaps they're only ridiculous when Andrews is involved, because nobody wants to see Tony Kornheiser or Skip Bayless anymore than they already have to.
Andrews deal with Reebok might be a thing of the past, but at least we'll have her sexy photo shoot to remember it by.
The Sports Illustrated: Swimsuit Edition might be a little tame for people, but we have it to thank for introducing us to some of the hottest women of the last two decades: Tyra Banks, Heidi Klum, Rebecca Romijn, Marisa Miller, Bar Rafaeli and Brooklyn Decker have all graced the cover.
On the 2011 cover, we were treated to 25-year-old Russian Goddess Irina Shayk who you may recognize as the arm candy of footballer Cristiano Ronaldo.
Here's hoping SI buys American in 2012 and gives the people what they want: More Kate Upton.
(to clarify, I'm not being anti-Russian models, I'm being pro-Kate Upton....which reminds me...)
In April 2011, Sport Illustrated: Swimsuit Edition's hottest bikini babe and Victoria's Secrets' sexiest angel, Kate Upton joined Twitter.
Her sudden appearance on the social networking site is a testament to the vast glories of the information age. Upton's top priority was figuring out how to make her background picture something that properly highlighted her boobs.
She's carried that can-do spirit with her, and if Upton is someone who appeals to you physically, check out her Twitter gallery.
You owe me big time for this information.
Vancouver Canucks fans took their team's Game 7 loss to the Boston Bruins in the Stanley Cup finals hard, very hard.
We all know that Canadians love hockey like Germans love David Hasselhoff, but the apocalyptic riots that befell Vancouver in the wake of the loss surprised most of us.
The couple kissing on the street amongst the riots became a global sensation and the photo will likely live on as one of the most iconic photos in sports history.
Embroiled in controversy, Auburn's superstar quarterback Cam Newton gave a relatively awkward speech when he accepted the Heisman trophy in December, 2010.
Today the NCAA pay-for-play allegations are behind him, they found no major violations, and nobody even remembers his speech. What they do remember is Cam Newton's enthusiasm and his megawatt smile, mostly because his rookie success in the NFL is a welcome weekly reminder.
So far, the eye-catching Newton has said and done all the right things and is one of the easiest guys in the NFL to root for.
I, for one, am looking forward to seeing a lot more of Newton in the future...a lot more.
Apparently The Great One's (that's Wayne Gretzky to you hockey neophytes) daughter Paulina, like her mother Janet, has her sights set on some kind of career in the spotlight.
Unfortunately for the Gretzky's (but fortunately for us), like many 22-year-olds, Paulina is under the mistaken impression that the best way to achieve her dreams is by postings hundreds of slutty pictures of herself on the Internet.
Apparently No. 99 had a conversation with his little girl about sullying the family name on Twitter because most of the questionable pictures have been removed. Naturally they remain easily accessible on countless sites like BroBible for your viewing pleasure.
I haven't seen the swimsuit calendar of every cheerleader squad in the NFL, although I have seen most, but something tells me none of them would disappoint.
That being said, you can count on the Dallas Cowboys Cheerleaders to knock it out of the park without fail, year after year.
Which is a credit to those aging monsters who run the show down there, but since I think it's possible to be great without snickering about "cankles" or rolling your eyes because a 19-year-old girl who wears a size four is "too thick," they can choke on their credit.
Most, if not all, cheerleader squads in the NFL produce their own swimsuit calendar that can be purchased at the games and online. As if the calendar weren't gift enough, many squads promote their annual calendar with an annual swimsuit fashion show.
It should come as no surprise that the best bikini-centric-blowout comes courtesy of the Miami Dolphins Cheerleaders. Living in a tropical, year-round bikini heaven gives them an innate advantage.
Remember Washington Redskins unlikely Super Bowl winning quarterback Mark Rypien? Me either…but he exists and this ridiculously hot vision in neon green is his daughter.
Angela Rypien is the standout rookie quarterback of the LFL's Seattle Mist. Angela is a breakout star in the league who, if good prevails over evil, we'll probably be seeing a lot more of in the future.
Oh, and I'm in no position to make this happen, but wouldn't she and Cam Newton or Matt Barkley make an adorable fairytale football couple?
In August 2011, Deadspin.com reported on rumors circulating about the behavior of ESPN's Michelle Beadle following the ESPY awards in Los Angeles. Beadle didn't dispute that she stopped at a number of late-night parties that night, but she does dispute everything else in the report.
According to the source, a sloppy drunk Beadle and a few girlfriends were hanging with Packers quarterback Aaron Rodgers, when she loudly announced, "I just wanna get f***ed."
Beadle was allegedly rebuffed by the Super Bowl MVP, who was linked to Erin Andrews earlier in the year, and had to settle for his teammate Clay Matthews.
True or not, it sounds like quite a night.
In order to promote the 2011 FIFA Women's World Cup and dispel the stereotype that female athletes are "butch," the German National Women's Soccer team posed for German Playboy in June, 2011.
Well there is probably happy medium between "butch" and "Playmate," but their point is well taken and I'm not one to mess with perfection.
New England Patriots superstar tight end Rob Gronkowski lives a substantially more awesome life than you. Gronk has an impressive job, washboard abs, a bloated bank account and he spent his bye week visiting friends at the University of Arizona (his alma mater), in Tucson.
Apparently among his friends in Tucson, the city of which he is king, is the sexually adventurous Bibi Jones. When Ms. Jones tweeted a photo of herself donning the jersey of a shirtless and smiling Gronk, it became a full-on scandal.
In June 2011, UFC's virginal Ring Girl Arianny Celeste appeared in this advertisement for Budweiser's disgusting citrus travesty, Bud Light Lime.
Thankfully they aren't even pretending to sell beer in this commercial, which features a near-naked Celeste sucking on limes and squeezing them on herself while explaining that she likes things "physical."
Listen, Bud Light Lime knows it's disgusting, but Arianny Celeste likes "a man that can go more than one round" and opting for Bud Light Lime instead of Jack Daniels on the rocks makes it more likely that you'll be able satisfy her if given the opportunity.
Even though you won't be given the opportunity.
We all know that soccer isn't entirely embraced in the United States, despite allegedly being the most popular sport on the planet. I've got two words that can change all that: Larissa Riquelme.
In July 2011, Paraguay superfan Larissa Riquelme garnered global attention when she vowed to strip naked (again, apparently) if Paraguay won the Copa America. Her beloved Paraguay made it to the finals, but unfortunately lost 3-0 to Uruguay, who obviously thought nothing of ruining it for the rest of us.
Some people are so selfish.
Well here's hoping she's still looking for a reason to take it all off during the 2014 World Cup.
49ers head coach Jim Harbaugh's belly-flashing, chest bumping exchange with his players after beating the previously undefeated Detroit led to a handshake with a little too much gusto for Lions head coach Jim Schwartz's liking.
Now we don't know how much juice Harbaugh put into that handshake, but either he shakes hands with the manly force of a hungry crocodile or Schwartz is kind of a baby. Maybe it's a little of both.
The media called the whole exchange childish, stupid and inappropriate...
Whatever jerks, I called it hot. And I'm not embarrassed to confess that I looked up Jim Harbaugh's marital status, just to rule out that he hasn't been waiting his whole life for a girl like me.
It was less than a decade ago that women, for the most part, were relegated to largely useless roles in the sports media. There were a couple of ballers doing their thing, but do you even want to remember a world before Erin Andrews?
Thanks to ambition and the internet, Andrews isn't the only game in town anymore. Miami's Kavita Channe is just one of countless broads building a name for themselves outside the confines of a major television network.
A Miami sports radio fixture, Channe, a University of Florida alum, has built a massive and devoted sports following on Twitter, Facebook and YouTube. Channe has interviewed Miami megastars like LeBron James and even brought you a hilarious Baseball Wives spoof six months before it premiered on VH1.
Few things in life are guaranteed to make me smile every time without fail than an athlete doing the Dougie.
Dallas Cowboy Dez Bryant, Philadelphia Eagle DeSean Jackson and, the man who did it best, Washington Wizard John Wall have all captivated with their moves. I even enjoyed the rendition of the Detroit Lion's corn-fed, mid-western frat boy (backup) quarterback Drew Stanton.
Their moves are boss, but you will never see a sexier Dougie than that of busty model Kate Upton. It's starts out slow, but becomes almost hypnotic as it goes on.
By the end of this magical performance, you don't know which way is up.