All-American Who Do Ya Hate: Yankees vs. Cowboys

From managers who don't know what they got themselves into, to pretty boys who date prettier women, there are a million reasons to hate the Cowboys and Yankees.

In the wake of the TO-Witten-Romo Saga and the Free Spending Yankees giving away more money than the Federal Reserve this winter, let's examine whom we hate more... and why.

The Cartoon Look-alike: Jorge Posada vs. Zach Thomas

It's Barney Rubble vs. Fievel the Mouse...

Posada missed a lot of 2008 with an injury. And no, Jorge, there ARE cats in America and the streets are NOT made of cheese...

Thomas disappeared into the wake of DeMarcus Ware, and Betty has a crush on Romo.

This Hate Sketch goes to Posada, because he's been a Yankee his entire life; Thomas was a rental in 2008.

The Quiet Man: Jason Witten vs. Derek Jeter

No signs of John Wayne here. These two are the microphone-free studs who seem to be made of Teflon.

Jeter once went head-first into the stands for a foul ball.

Witten once got his helmet knocked off and still ran down the field, with the ball, looking for contact.

This Hate Plaque goes to goes to Jeter. He's allegedly dated half the top beauties in Hollywood, he's making almost as much as the entire Cowboys offense combined, and he's only missed the playoffs once in his career.

The What the...Are You Doing: Johnny Damon vs. Adam "Pacman" Jones

Johnny Damon has flashed one of the best non-hockey/Jared Allen mullets in professional sports.

Pacman Jones has one of the best non-Plaxico/Mike Vick legal files in professional sports.

This Hate Subpoena goes to Pacman... no question. Damon's a light-hearted guy who's just a little off his rocker. Pacman's a felon.

Damon's cuts his hair for kids in wheelchairs, while Pacman puts strip-club patrons into them.

The Pretty Boy with the Prettier Girl: A-Rod vs. Romo

In this competitive act, we hate the pretty boys for having prettier girls.

Alex Rodriguez is currently linked to Madonna. Problem here is that the Material Girl was reinventing herself for a third time before A-Rod had shaved for the first.

Tony Romo is hooking up with Jessica Simpson. He has also taken a homeless man to the movies and might, just might, have more female fans than his woman does men.

This Hatred Award has to go to A-Rod. Romo seems to be a genuine guy with a fox for a girlfriend. A-Rod personally ruined baseball free agency AND Guy Ritchie's marriage.

The Leader Over His Head: Wade Phillips vs. Joe Girardi

Wade Phillips is the coach of the megalomaniac drama in motion known as the Cowboys. He's a "player's coach" who has never been a success and has been walked over, consistently, everywhere he's been the head man.

Joe Girardi, on the other hand, was the fan favorite in the Bronx as a player who came back to manage after the legendary Joe Torre bounced for Los Angeles.

Phillips has no control because he can't relate. Girardi seems overwhelmed on occasion because he played with many of his now-subordinates.

This Hate Trophy goes to Phillips. He's been the head man in situations like Denver before and failed. Girardi is a young manager who has done some good things in worse situations than New York.

The Mouth: TO vs. Hank Steinbrenner

One thinks he's god, while the other claims to be.

And I'm not sure which is which.

Owens has alienated quarterbacks everywhere he's played. He might be the most talented, and most despised, wide receiver of his generation.

Hank Steinbrenner said the National League was a joke because pitchers bat. Every time a Yankee got hurt in 2008 he wanted a rule changed.

This set of Hate Earplugs goes to Owens. Hank has just over one year on his resume, while Owens has the better part of a decade.

The Closing Stadiums

Yankee Stadium saw more non-baseball history than perhaps any stadium in American history.

Meanwhile, Dallas Stadium has a hole in the roof "so God can see the game."

The Pope "did" Yankee Stadium, while Dallas saw Leon Lett blow a game, in the snow, against the Dolphins.

Both stadiums saw some of the greatest in their sports perform. Mantle, Joe D, Yogi, Reggie, Maris, Ford. Emmitt, Aikman, Irvin, Staubach, Dorsett.

This Hate Monument goes to Dallas Stadium. Yankee Stadium had championships won in it, holy men spoke in it, and great people performed there.

The Owners: Hank & Hal Steinbrenner vs. Jerry Jones

Hank and Hal have formally asked the taxpayers of New York to pay for their new stadium, and then spent over $400 million on three players. They're living up to the "if it ain't broke, buy a new one that's more expensive" ideals that their daddy put in place in the Bronx.

Jerry Jones, meanwhile, stalks the sidelines with an axe waiting for someone to screw up. He's like the crazy dad that knows more about the game than his son's high school coach... except he OWNS THE TEAM.

The Hate Bank Card goes to...all of these jokers. Jerry continues to produce a fiasco in Dallas, and the Steinbrenners continue to embarrass themselves and MLB by not only shooting their mouths off, but spending a god's ransom to buy a winner.

Sports would be better off without them all.

Whom Do We Hate More?

America's Team vs. the Bronx Bombers

Both have history. Both have had complete frauds wear their jerseys as well. Both have been adorned with rings and women and money and fame.

Which team do we hate more?

That Hate Ring goes to... you decide!