Greetings from Mother India. Let me get straight to the point. The Raptors lost to the Oklahoma City Thunder on Friday. Wait, what? Seriously? The 2-24 Oklahoma City Thunder?

Can this please be confirmed? Because I don't believe the box score. Someone is obviously fucking with me, or the internet, out here in the GNDA (Greater New Delhi Area, yo). Losing 91-83 to Oklahoma City simply cannot be possible. I didn't even know Oklahoma City had an NBA team.

Jesus Christ. You know what this means, don't you? The Toronto Craptors are back from extinction.

Full disclosure: I had a dream the Raptors re-acquired Vince Carter.

Really full disclosure: It was a wet dream. I'm at the point where I'd be all over VC's return, like a fat Indian kid on a chicken kathi roll from Khan Chacha.