People love Thanksgiving.
Think about the other holidays with all that complaining. New Years Eve is expensive and lame once you are past the age of 25. Valentine’s Day is the brainchild of Hershey’s and greeting card companies. Easter is too religious for some and only for children who like finding eggs. July the 4th is always hot and superlame cities have made fireworks illegal inside city limits. St. Patrick’s Day makes you come off as a tool if you pretend to be Irish for one day a year. Same with Cinco de Mayo when people fill Mexican restaraunts to drink Margaritas. You aren’t fooling anyone, you don’t even know the origins of that day Gringo!
But not Thanksgiving. They finally got it right by centering a day around food. Who can argue with food? And to make it even better, let’s put not one, not two, but three NFL games on WHILE we eat ourselves silly for 12 hours. The way to America’s heart is through our stomachs and the Pilgrims really hit the sweet spot when they hugged the Native Americans and exchanged email addresses to build a fantastic country together.
Noticed we haven’t had a losing week in over a month? Me too. However, I’ve also noticed that half of those weeks were pushes so we need to break through. Which is why this week is sponsored by Scott Pilgrim vs. the World, who has to beat his hot girlfriend’s seven exes in order to be with her. If that isn’t inspiration, I don’t know what will convince you. Also, the soundtrack is outstanding. Did you catch that it’s Thanksgiving week and the sponsoring movie also has PILGRIM in it? See, this space not only increases your bank account but your intellect as well. Try and catch other Thanksgiving clues.
GREEN BAY -6.5 at Detroit – Have you heard the news? Aaron Rodgers and his jolly band of green quesoheads are abusing the competition in route to the best offensive season ever. However, they didn’t cover last week as a big favorite. But……did you know that as a single digit favorite they haven’t NOT covered this year? That’s batting one thousand percent people! With this type of information, we’ll have a (turkey) LEG up on our bookies.
DALLAS -7 vs Miami – If there is one thing I know, it’s betting for or against Reggie Bush. Speaking of Reg, (he lets me call him Reg) he likes to refer to himself as the original Tim Tebow. When I pointed out to him that unlike Denvers #15, he is a different race, has been traded for a slice of pizza and has been inside someone that has their own SEARS fashion collection. He argues that he gets more scrutiny and unwarranted opinions on his play than someone of his talent deserves. Despite his unfounded paranoia, I’m still looking for Miami to get taken behind the woodshed tomorrow and get the STUFFING beat out them.
BALTIMORE -3.5 vs San Francisco – I feel a little guilty thinking about the Ravens. More specifically, Torrey Smith from a fantasy perspective. I avoided him like the plague before the year started. Even after his three TD second game, I laughed and labeled him a fluke. Now? I’m trying to trade for him in a keeper league because he excels at getting separation and see his game improving to an all-around stud in a few years. Like a young Roddy White. Despite the fantastic season the Niners are (somehow) having, I’m loading up on Baltimore to ride the GRAVY train of winners this Thanksgiving. *Thus ends Thanksgiving clues from the Thursday games*
DENVER +6 at San Diego – Man it’s great to be a Bronco fan. Our Director of FB operations comes out and says he doesn’t know who the QB of the future will be, with every win we move further away from the top of the draft and the QB the last two and a half years just went to a division rival who we will play again. Yep, it’s all sunshine and smiles these days. Just kidding, screw longterm. Beating the Jets in boring, I mean dramatic fashion was great. There is no reason the Bronco running game and defense should lose by a touchdown or more. Believe.
INDIANAPOLIS +3.5 vs Carolina – I don’t want to live in a world where the Colts go winless. Looking at the schedule, this is the best chance at a win. The Panthers defense is just like Bruce Willis in the movie Sixth Sense. They don’t know they are ghosts! Basically, if there is a prayer to get a win it has to happen Sunday. If nothing else, we are getting more that a fieldgoal at home. The veterans on this team have to dig deep and find some pride to get it done. Perhaps one day Disney will make a movie about this game.
OAKLAND -4 vs Chicago – I suppose I should feel bad betting against one person. I mean after all, look at how the oddsmakers/bettors reacted to Peyton Manning not being a healthy Colt. Thank goodness you can place this bet knowing the person who made it happen is Jay Cutler, the one player everyone can agree to root against. I see no reason the Raiders don’t win this game comfortably behind a 20-6 type score. The Bears defense and special teams can’t do it all. At least I don’t think they can.
NY JETS -9 vs Buffalo – The New York Football Jets are going to win the game versus the Buffalo Bills by at least 17 points. Enjoy your Sunday!
TAMPA BAY +3.5 at Tennessee – Even if there wasn’t a line on this game, I would still take Tampa Bay to win. I’m fully aware of the Bucs inability to stop the run, but “I was awesome two years ago” Chris Johnson is in no position to exploit that. With a less than 100% Hasselback, I’m thinking the Titans will be less than efficient. Tampa Bay may have lost last week, but they looked good and should build on that momentum this week. And hey, we are getting over a field goal so you know, that’s better than nothing.