Thanksgiving is dear to our American hearts for many reasons. We love food, and we love football, and we love the sense of competition that can come from both. Whenever I celebrate Thanksgiving, me and my brothers always have a contest to see who can eat the most pie without spontaneously combusting. It's just natural, or unnatural, as my mom and other family members like to insist.
We need other ways to relieve our competitive desire. Our family regularly heads down to Philadelphia for Thanksgiving, so it is hard to have a traditional, Kennedy-esque touch football game. That is why I am creating this.
Imagine the entire NFL is having Thanksgiving with you (pretend no games are on, which I know creates a plot-hole about this event even existing in the first place), and a few players get the competition bug. Who would you want on your touch football team? Using O'Hare traditional backyard football rules (Offense: one quarterback, one running back, two wide receivers, one center; Defense: one lineman, one linebacker, two cornerbacks, one safety), I have developed the ultimate NFL touch football team.
Take this into account when you are choosing sides on Thanksgiving, and a plane containing every NFL player crashes down in your backyard.