Jim Rome and Jay Glazer Trade Blows Over Goatee Relevance

Danny CarberryContributor IDecember 19, 2008

The two biggest Goatees in the business have finally collided. The two furry bloviators had an altercation at an Applebees in Walnut, California last week during a meeting only described by restaurant patrons as, Amazing. Brilliant. Unbelievable.

Rome was dining with a couple friends when Jay Glazer approached the table. Witnesses stated that Jay rubbed his lower stache and pointed to Rome and stated that he should Stop by my jungle outside.

Apparently the Applebee's Manager stepped in to break up the altercation when Rome preceded to ask for the check and push Glazer out of the way and state how he stole his goutee and that he is a hack. Glazer then grabbed Rome's fur and yanked a piece and threw it at him and stated that he should Come hard, or don't come at all.

When police arrived at Applebees on Newport Boulevard they also asked Rome to leave. But Rome, who lives nearby, became agitated and began jumping up and down, hitting his head against the ceiling, a waitress said.

After Rome declined a cab ride and refused to find someone sober to drive him home, police said, officers had no choice but to take him into custody and lay the smackdown.

Marty Ortegon, a waitress at Applebees, said Rome is a regular at the restaurant and “never gives anybody any trouble.”

Ortegon, who witnessed the altercation, said the incident began when Rome was verbally harassed about his goutee from Glazer.

Restaurant franchisee Ralph Furra said he believed that Glazer was insulting Rome. When the flamboyant radio personality responded, his companion allegedly grabbed Rome, Furra said.

Rome then reportedly slapped the Glazer, police said.

Rome was booked into the Newport Beach City Jail on suspicion of being a douche in a public place, a misdemeanor, and was released on his own recognizance about 3 a.m.

Goatee 101

Goatees need to be cultivated, not ignored, for a successful effect. Don’t just let your facial hair go untamed and think that your goatee is an end result. Even knowing how to grow a goatee sometimes isn’t enough. Some men may be unable to grow one. It’s the first few days after you stop shaving that will really determine if you can grow it and also if it will suit you. After a few days of facial hair growth, you’ll have a much better idea about the type you want—if it suits you after all.

Avoid the temptation to grow a little extra stubble. While it’s good on its own, when it’s next to a goatee, it just looks messy. For weekly upkeep, it’s best to find a professional in your area to keep you looking sharp.

To shape your goatee, keep in mind that the outer edges should never extend past the smile lines of your face. Avant garde goatees are, well, rather disconcerting, so aim for symmetry. Make clean corners at the jawline. Try a trimming tool to keep everything neat, usually from 3/8ths to 3/16ths. Remember to move the razors or clippers every which way—hair grows in every direction and you want to catch all of the strays. If you’re going after loose stubble, try a Wahl’s Groomsman XL.

Finishing Touches

Now you’ve got the style, but perhaps you’re not completely convinced with your density or overall look. If your goatee is a bit sparse but the look suits you, there are some techniques to try, but the bad news is that there’s no way to make your goatee grow thicker. Hair density is genetic, but there are some hair products will help your goatee look full, such as a tiny dab of American Crew Thickening Lotion or Oomf Booster by Fudge.

Perhaps you’ve also heard that shaving your goatee more regularly will result in thicker hair. Wondering if it’s true? Sadly, not quite, but this could help: hair doesn’t grow in denser, but it could grow in coarser, which is a plus for thinner goatees.