Epiphany! The Green Bay Packers Suck!

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Epiphany! The Green Bay Packers Suck!

So, I have the DirecTV NFL Sunday Ticket. I enjoy every NFL game every Sunday. It is a fabulous luxury and is worth every penny.

I originally bought the ticket so I could watch my favorite team, The Green Bay Packers, play every week.

I have seen every single Packer game since 2003. Never once did I ever wake up Sunday morning and say "Ughh, the Packers play today." No; I was freaking elated every week to watch the Packers play.

Not this year. After the Packers lost to Atlanta (which we later found out is a good team) I was sick of the Packers. Watching them play football has left me sick.

In fact, one day I actually got sick! I took Monday off because I actually got sick watching the Packers. For those of you wondering which game that was, it was the Houston game.

So now I should probably back up my claim that the Packers suck. Sure, where should I start? Probably at 5-9....

Offense

Aaron Rodgers, yay! What a season he has had, only to throw it all away in the 4th quarter of just about every game. Rodgers threw game losing picks against Tampa Bay, Carolina, and Jacksonville. If he doesn't choke, the Packers are 8-6. That isn't including his stinkers against the Vikings, THE VIKINGS!, and the Saints.

Numbers can be misleading, my friends.

Ryan Grant. Do I even need to write anything? Hey Ryan, how about we actually have a FULL SEASON before we bitch about our contracts?

The offensive line. Enough said. You all know how bad these guys have played.

I have a suggestion, how about we block for a change. I hear it works.

Defense

Can we change the name of this unit?

How about Swiss cheese? No, that isn't original. I got it, how about FAILURE.

Sure they get picks and touchdowns. Of course they allow 300 yard passers (400 for the esteemed Matt Schaub) and 100 yard rushers (nearly 200 for Adrian Peterson. Actually, I don't blame them here. A.D. is just a monster).

 

Coaching

 

Mike McCarthy, great work on the 2-0 start. Great play calling, fantastic schemes. Boy, were we good.

 

Of course this is the NFL; your little offensive secrets don't stay that way long. Defensive coordinators figured out Rodgers' scheme and have forced him into some mistakes. Also, way to abandon your running game in the 2nd quarter.

 

Injuries

 

That's right, I am calling out injuries. Come on, you are only supposed to attack the Super Bowl losers. Well, you did with Tom Brady....

 

But, this clearly isn't the same team without Al Harris, Nick Barnett or Cullen Jenkins.

 

So injuries, you suck as much as the Packers.

 

The Bottom Line

 

You are what your record says you are.

 

That is damn right! 5-9 screams at me: "Oh, we are kind of ok, but we just can't finish our games because we suck at the fundamentals of football."

 

Even if the Packers finish 7-9, I will never get the nasty taste this 2008 season has left in my mouth.

 

We are probably the worst 5-9 team in the NFL, because the Packers simply DO NOT EXECUTE. Talent means nothing if you can't execute your plays.

 

Just ask the Raiders.

 

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