Originally I was going to make the third edition of SAH child support, until I realized that supporting children isn’t really something that your average Athlete hates. The bigger groin kick comes from the root of the problem in most situations, the Baby Mama.
Smart enough to see the bigger picture, the Baby Mama doesn’t mind shitting out kid(s) to accomplish her dreams of longterm financial stability. She has no concern with her image, her only goal being to provide a lavish lifestyle for herself and her kids no matter what.
Whether it be a high school sweetheart or that dime piece you scooped up during a midseason road swing, the transition from casual beatup to Baby Mama rarely ends pretty. The transition, or metamorphosis as squares say, usually involves cases of accidental raw dog skeeting or my personal favorite, the safety pin through the magnum phenomenon.
Regardless of how it came to be, the Baby Mama knows that pro-life is the only way to go to ensure her continued relevancy…
Often equipped with a swift tongue and an innate ability to push buttons both literally and figuratively, the Baby Mama is definitely not something to be messed with. In general the BM has had her fair run-ins with Athletes at various functions, including the Super Bowl, All-Star weekend and various professional drafts.
Her Blackberry was most likely purchased by one these esteemed gents, but stays filled with the digits of many a burgeoning sports celebrity, rap mogul and Chinese businessman.
Much like your traditional groupie (something that most Athletes adore) the Baby Mama is well versed in the language of various professional sports contracts, knowing how the payment structure works, when bonuses are reached and distributed etc. She generally prefers those Athletes with guaranteed contracts and rarely deals with NFL players unless they are drafted in the first 3 rounds or just recently signed a respectable free agent deal.
The Baby Mama uses her vital assets, such as solid knocks, a big ‘ol booty or a solid mindset to work her way to the top, or at least to what she perceives to be her greatest heights.This is usually the VIP room of the hot local night club or near the locker room area following any major professional sports event.
Some Baby Mama’s are known for settling for your run-of-the-mill Trent Tucker or Elden Campbell type, a legend who can stay on a professional team’s roster for years despite their lack of overwhelming skill. Others aim higher and try to reach the proverbial mountain top, in the form of perennial superstars and legends like Shawn Kemp or Larry Legend for example.
Either way, they know that getting a job is not the way to go, because being a Baby Mama, is a job within itself.
Most BM’s are overly confident and have no problem talking mess, making threats or harassing their victim’s at the most inopportune time. In recent years Baby Mama’s have used various social networking portals to connect with each other to form a BM conglomeration in which they can share stories, advice and life lessons.
This has done nothing but increase the hate and disdain that Athletes feel towards Baby Mama’s around the globe.
And if you missed one and two in the series do not fear for they are right here.
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