50 Skimpiest Outfits in Sports

What female athletes lack in upper arm strength, they make up for by showing excessive amounts of skin. It's an excellent strategy because I think we'd all agree that seeing models play football in their underwear is no less than 10 times greater than watching anyone do pull-ups. 

Here are 50 of the skimpiest outfits in professional sports, and some exceptionally fascinating facts about the sports they are associated with. 

Enjoy.  

NFL Cheerleaders: Dallas Cowboys

No doubt stealing their look from Billy the Kid himself, the Dallas Cowboys Cheerleaders are the most recognizable cheerleaders on the planet. 

Did you know: At the University of Kentucky the average Cheerleader is between 5-feet and 5-foot-1 and weighs 97 pounds.

Apparently you have to officially qualify as a little person to be a collegiate cheerleader. 

NFL Cheerleaders: Atlanta Falcons

That belt is amazing, I wonder if it comes in Black and Yellow?  

Did you know: About 98 percent of all female cheerleaders were former gymnasts, compared to just 20 percent of all male cheerleaders. 

Aren't male cheerleaders there to pick up the female cheerleaders? Surely a male gymnast would prefer a slightly more athletic endeavor.  

NFL Cheerleaders: San Francisco 49ers

Do you think this uniform was worn by prospectors during the California Gold Rush? I bet it was. 

Did you know: Lila McCann, country music star, performed cheerleading routines for the Queen of England.

That sounds deliciously awkward. 

NFL Cheerleaders: Tampa Bay Buccaneers

Okay so you probably aren't that into fashion, but another amazing belt! 

Did you know: There are at least four million cheerleaders in 31 countries.

Wow, four million cheerleaders...you're trying to picture four million cheerleaders in a room now, aren't you? 

NFL Cheerleaders: San Diego Chargers

I think this San Diego Chargers cheerleader officially explains Philip Rivers recent troubles, he's just too distracted. 

Did you know: Cheerleading has been around for over 100 years. On Nov. 2, 1898, Johnny Campbell led the first cheerleaders at a University of Minnesota football game. Turn of the century male cheerleading? I bet their acapella work was amazing.

Cheerleading may keep getting older but Cheerleaders stay the same age.  

Track and Field: Melanie Adams

Did you know: No high jumper has ever been able to stay off the ground for more than one second. 

But I thought Red Bull gave you wings! What happened to truth in advertising?

Track and Field: Kaie Kand

Did you know: Live pigeon shooting was an Olympic event in 1900.

That must have been one helluva a sight. Even as a person who has never watched a nature show without crying, I would really like to see some old timey video or photos from the Olympic pigeon shooting days of yore.  

Track and Field: Sina Schielke

Did you know: Rope climbing was last an Olympic event in 1932. 

Apparently supplies, money and ideas were in short supply in 1932. Everyone must have been distracted by that little stock market hiccup. 

Track and Field: Leryn Franco

Did you know: Motor boating was an official sport at the 1908 Olympics. 

Too obvious. 

Track and Field: Allison Stokke

Did you know: Dueling Pistol was an Olympic event in 1906. 

Can you believe the NRA let them get away with eliminating this awesome event? Apparently the NRA used to be a bunch of politically impotent nancy-boys. 

"You'll have to pry my dueling pistol from my cold dead hands!"

NBA Dancers: Miami Heat

Did you know: As a high school senior, LeBron attended the Adidas ABCD Camp wearing Nike sneakers. At the Nike All-American Camp, he wore Adidas. 

For years I've been wondering if LeBron acts like a complete a-hole all the time on purpose, or if he really doesn't know any better. 

Now we all know for sure that he's doing it on purpose. His entire life is built on needling the human population (outside of Miami) for being "haters."

NBA Dancers: Orlando Magic

Did you know: As a child, Shaq fell from a tree while imitating Spider-Man, fracturing both his wrists. 

As if I needed another reason to love Shaq. 

NBA Dancers: Los Angeles Lakers

Did you know: Kobe Bryant met his future wife, then 17-year-old Vanessa Laine, at the video shoot for "G'd Up" by Tha Eastsidaz while recording his ill-fated album in the same building. 

I had no idea Kobe recorded an album. Maybe he's orchestrating the whole NBA lockout so he has time to record a followup album. I did read that he was in New York attending negotiations despite not being a player rep. 

Interesting...very, very interesting. 

NBA Dancers: Boston Celtics

Did you know: Kevin Garnett's mother was a Jehovah's Witness; he didn't celebrate his first Halloween or Christmas until 19 years old. 

Now you know why KG is such a trash talking bully on the court. He didn't get enough candy and presents as a child :(

NBA Dancers: New York Knicks

Did you know: In the Stop Snitch'n DVD, Carmelo Anthony mentions that he threw his bronze medal from the 2004 Olympic games into a lake.

Don't you just love when professional athletes truly appreciate their lives? Sounds like Melo counts his blessings daily. 

NFL Cheerleader Auditions: Philadelphia Eagles

I'm actually pretty amazed that cheerleaders actually manage to wear less when they aren't cheerleading

Did you know: In the beginning all cheerleaders were men.

So imagine that outfit on a young Mike Ditka. 

NFL Cheerleader Auditions: San Diego Chargers

Most girls look like this in San Diego. If you haven't been, I'd recommend heading there for your next vacation.  

Did you know: 62 percent of Cheerleaders are involved in a second sport. 

And most of us are involved in zero sports. I feel very lazy all of a sudden.   

NFL Cheerleader Auditions: Miami Dolphins

Her jacket must have come from a cheerleader specialty store, because a long sleeved jacket covered in sparkles, which cuts off right below your boobs, is not a wardrobe choice for most of us.

Did you know: The Cheerleading capital of the United States is Texas. Texas is also where a mother was accused of hiring a hitman to kill her daughter’s rival in competition.

That might sound a little crazy outside of Texas, but it's just another day in the Lone Star State. Texans are crazy about two things: football and the death penalty. It makes sense that they'd merge.  

NFL Cheerleader Auditions: Atlanta Falcons

Almost half of the Atlanta Falcons Cheerleaders could pass for Barbie. The stunning Ms. Sabrina is 'Workout Barbie'.

Did you know: 12 percent of Cheerleaders are aged 5 to 13 years, and 12 percent are also dancers.

Do you care? No...

NFL Cheerleader Auditions: Miami Dolphins

Liking this whole ensemble. Sexy...understated...with a dolphin! (yes, all girls love dolphins)

Did you know: Some of the most common cheerleading injuries are broken arms and busted lips.

Pray that Ms. Natalie never suffers any cheerleading related injury that would keep her off the sideline in Miami; the Dolphins fans have suffered enough.  

Tennis: Daniela Hantuchova

Did you know: The first women to play at Wimbledon wore full-length dresses!

So if you ever hear your father (or grandfather) complaining that things aren't what they used to be, you can say "Thank God, because tennis is much sexier today." Then swiftly exit the room.

Tennis: Dominika Cibulkova

Did you know: Yellow tennis balls were used at Wimbledon for the first time in 1986.

Tennis balls prior to 1986 were actually rainbow striped and covered with unicorns and sparkles and giggled when hit by a racquet. It all proved to be a distraction. 

Tennis: Ana Ivanovic

Did you know: Tennis originated in Great Britain. 

This doesn't surprise me in the slightest. Now if you told me that something awesome like high-fives, hot wings or Jay-Z originated in Great Britain; then I'd be surprised. 

No offense to Great Britain, but you guys just aren't known for awesomeness. 

Tennis: Caroline Wozniacki

Did you know: Venus Williams has the hardest serve in women's tennis history; one of her serves clocked at 205 km/h. 

No, I don't know how to convert that into miles per hour and shame on the public education in the great commonwealth of Pennsylvania for not teaching me. My guess  is that it converts to about one billion mph.

Tennis: Jelena Jankovic

Did you know: Tennis balls are fuzzy to provide additional friction and to slow the ball down. Apparently, without the fuzz on a tennis ball, nobody could return a tennis ball because it would be moving too fast. 

Wait. The balls were too fast? Perhaps tennis players are too slow.   

Imagine where we'd be if Kennedy said "Screw it! The moon's too far, let's just go upstairs and take a nap instead."

NHL Ice Crews: Los Angeles Kings

Did you know: The Kings came into existence in 1967, but have yet to win a Stanley Cup. 

So the half-naked women with shovels are around to cheer up fans? God knows they aren't doing anything else. 

NHL Ice Crews: Carolina Hurricanes

Did you know: The Hurricanes are the only major league professional sports team based in Raleigh; the Panthers and Bobcats are based in Charlotte. 

Why are all the "Carolina" sports teams in North Carolina? If I lived in South Carolina, this would really irritate me.

It's like they have laid claim to "Carolina" entirely, now it's Carolina and Sub-Carolina. 

NHL Ice Crews: Columbus Blue Jackets

Did you know: The lowly Blue Jackets have only made the playoffs once in their franchise history and were promptly swept 4-0 by the Detroit Red Wings. 

I have nothing interesting or funny to add about a team that makes the NHL worse by its very existence. 

NHL Ice Crews: Calgary Flames

Did you know: The Flames play at the ScotiaBank Saddledome. The Saddledome was built in the 1980's in preparation for the Calgary Olympics. It's literally shaped like a saddle. 

Like many things from the 80's, the Saddledome is strange and dated, and it's hard to understand why people would have thought it was a good idea...even then. 

On the plus side, if God wants to mount Calgary…he's all set.

NHL Ice Crews: Chicago Blackhawks

Did you know: The Blackhawks set the NHL record for fewest goals in a season; they scored just 133 in the 1953-54 season. It's no wonder they only managed 12 wins that season, scoring (an average) of 1.9 goals per game. 

Of course that record doesn't hold a candle to a certain other Chicago team's history of futility. 

Washington Redskins Cheerleaders

Did you know: The Washington Redskins Cheerleaders were the second squad established in the NFL. 

The Pittsburgh Steelers had the first cheerleaders in 1961, but the Rooneys eliminated them shortly after.  

Guess you don't need cheerleaders when all you do is win Super Bowls. Boom!

Washington Redskins Cheerleaders

Did you know: The Redskins Cheerleaders haven't always dressed in sparkly bikini tops and booty shorts; their original uniforms were native-themed costumes.  

Hmm, that doesn't sound horrifyingly offensive. I wonder why they changed them. 

Washington Redskins Cheerleaders

Did you know: There's an App for that? The Redskins Cheerleaders actually have their very own App. 

Did you know: That I downloaded it? Best $1.99 I've ever spent (it's not, I'm kidding).  

So it's official then, there really is an App for everything. 

Washington Redskins Cheerleaders

Did you know: The Redskins Cheerleaders were originally called the "Redskinettes," which is weird. Today they are called "The First Ladies of Football," which is actually weirder.  

Sorry, these kind of things have to be voted on. Isn't this a democracy? Let's put Dallas' claim to "America's Team" to a vote as well.  

Washington Redskins Cheerleaders

Did you know: The Washington Redskins Cheerleaders are growing across the country and around the world.

That's lifted right from their website and I have absolutely no idea what it means. Their  "History" page sounds like it was written by an obsessive fanboy. 

Beach Volleyball

Did you know: Beach volleyball originated in Southern California and Hawaii. 

That's what I like to call an "official" fact. 

Did you know: Beach volleyball is the sexiest Olympic sport. 

That's what I like to call an "unofficial" fact. Which basically means that I'm making things up again. 

Beach Volleyball

Did you know: In 1999, the FIVB standardized beach volleyball uniforms; essentially mandating a bikini. 

Naturally a controversy followed because some "conservative cultures" have "moral objections" to "wearing a bathing suit." I don't know why I used quotes for any of that.

The FIVB basically gave them a metaphorical middle finger and told them if they don't like the uniform, they don't have to play.

Beach Volleyball

Did you know: In naturism and nudism volleyball has become cliche and a source of much amusement to non-naturists/nudists.

I'm pretty sure that everything "nudists" do is a source of much amusement to "non-nudists." 

Beach Volleyball

Did you know: Americans dominate the crap out of beach volleyball at the Summer Olympics; the United States has the most gold medals by far.  

Brazil actually has two more medals overall, but you know what it says in the Bible, "If you ain't first, you're last." 

What?! Ricky Bobby might have been in the Bible…

Beach Volleyball

Did you know: The fingers over their butt thing isn't just a way to draw attention to their baller booties (that's just an added bonus).

Apparently it's some kind of signal that indicates to their partner what kind of block they are planning to make. Fascinating (I'm talking about their baller booties, not the hand signal thing).

Lingerie Football League

Did you know: The founder said the league is mostly marketed for "beer-drinking college students aged 21 and up." 

In a world filled with lies, that kind of honesty is refreshing. 

Lingerie Football League

Did you know: The the LFL is about to take over the world like a lingerie wearing Godzilla. 

Currently there are leagues in the United States and Canada, but look for a league in Australia in 2012 and one in Europe in 2013. 

Lingerie Football League

Did you know: Many people assume the LFL is flag football, which is not the case. It's a full-contact game similar to arena football . 

Bone-crushing hits and brutal turf-burn have never been so sexy. 

Lingerie Football League

Did you know: LFL games are broadcast on MTV2. 

Anything to avoid playing music, right?

Just kidding! I could give a crap that MTV doesn't play music videos. I'd pick LFL and reruns of those challenge shows any day over the newest musical offering from some turd like Avril Lavigne. 

Lingerie Football League

Did you know: The LFL might be coming to your city. The league is negotiating with ownership groups in San Jose, Phoenix, Washington D.C (score!), Carolina, Buffalo, Columbus, New Orleans and New Jersey.  

Oh, I said "score!" because I live in Washington and this city is desperate for a football team that isn't a national laughing stock. 

Sexy Santa(ish) Cheerleaders: Indianapolis Colts

Not really a fan of the sexy Santa Claus thing. Couldn't this create a sexually confusing experience for people around Christmas? Anyway...

Did you know: 83 percent of all Cheerleaders have a 'B' grade point average or better.

Well I know every time my boyfriend sees a cheerleader he says "Wow look at her! She looks...smart."

Sexy Santa(ish) Cheerleaders: Tennessee Titans

This sexy Santa is definitely a more appropriate way to celebrate the birth of the baby Jesus. 

Did you know: 80 percent of schools in the US have cheerleading squads. The most popular sport for cheerleading is football.

And Ms. Jessi just so happens to be cheering for football, so I guess that's true.

Sexy Santa(ish) Cheerleaders: Oakland Raiders

The Raiderettes need to take some cue from Raider Nation. Some spikes, silver paint, and a mullet would really class up this outfit. 

Did you know: Circulation for American Cheerleader magazine is estimated at 200,000.

I hope it's mostly cheerleaders that subscribe, otherwise I'm going to be extremely skeeved out. 

Sexy Santa(ish) Cheerleaders: San Diego Chargers

Nothing says Christmas like a blue crushed-velvet bodysuit. I wear one to church.

Did you know: 97 percent of all cheerleaders are female, however, almost 50 percent of collegiate cheerleaders are male.

Yet you've probably never seen one. Male cheerleaders are invisible when standing next to female cheerleaders; that's just science. 

Sexy Santa(ish) Cheerleaders: Tampa Bay Buccaneers

Nobody "celebrates Christmas" like the Bucs' Cheerleaders.

Did you know: In the 1900s megaphones came into play and the pom poms were invented in the 1930's.

Now you know the answer to the age old question: "What came first; the megaphone or the pom poms?"