Every NHL Team Compared to a Movie
The NHL and Hollywood might not go hand in hand, but I'm going to do my best to connect the two.
NHL teams each have their own identity and that identity can be compared to a particular movie's story, maybe just even a quote from a movie.
Please note that when a quote is included, that the comparison is more based on the quote rather than the movie itself.
Film Comparison: The Mighty Ducks
Oh come on, how could I not go with the movie that the team is based on.
Film Comparison: True Grit
The title says it all. Boston has always been a team that wins games through toughness and, well, grit, just as much as offense.
Film Comparison: Rocky Horror Picture Show
Buffalo is situated in such a place that there is a bunch of people from that area are fans of other teams. The Toronto Maple Leafs, New York Rangers and Islanders, and the New Jersey Devils are all in within the Sabres vicinity and people in Buffalo might like any one of those teams instead of the Sabres. That being said, Buffalo has a loyal following, some would say even a cult following.
Film Comparison: Apollo 13
"Houston, we have a problem."
Calgary does too, and it's not going to get any better. Calgary has an aging team and there window to win a Stanley Cup is most likely over. However, Jay Feaster does not want to do what is necessary to rebuild the Flames.
Film Comparison: Twister
This is another one that I couldn't resist taking the painfully obvious choice.
Film Comparison: The Rocky Series
The ultimate comeback story.
The Chicago Blackhawks endured 49 years without winning the Stanley Cup. It was a long and painful wait for both the team and their fans.
Finally, in 2009, the Blackhawks won the Cup for the first time since 1961.
Film Comparison: Airplane!
"Surely you can't be serious."
"I am serious... and don't call me Shirley."
This could have been a conversation involving a Colorado fan back when Colorado was so successful earlier in the season.
Columbus Blue Jackets
Film Comparison: Ishtar
A lot of money was spent to make Ishtar a good movie. It had a budget of around $55 million. It starred Warren Beatty and Dustin Hoffman.
The film went on to make only $14,375,181 in the box office and is considered one of the biggest bombs in film history.
The Columbus Blue Jackets spent a lot of money to bring in free agent James Wisnieski, they acquired a pricey player in Jeff Carter and they already had Rick Nash.
All that has gotten them is a spot in the NHL's basement.
Film Comparison: The Matrix Trilogy
The Matrix Trilogy is looked upon badly mostly because of the second and third films. Otherwise, it started out great.
So did the Dallas Stars. They were one of the top teams in the Western Conference for quite a while in the late-nineties to the early-2000's. Recently however, they have fallen on hard times.
Detroit Red Wings
Film Comparison: Grumpy Old Men
The average age of the Detroit Red Wings is 30.03, the oldest team in the National Hockey League. Nik Lidstrom is the oldest of the bunch at 41. Only one of Detroit's primary offensive players is under the age of 30.
How long can they keep it together?
Film Comparison: The Maltese Falcon
"The stuff that dreams are made of."
For a team as young as the Edmonton Oilers, all they can do right now is dream of the future success that is in store for them.
Film Comparison: Groundhog Day
For 10 years the Florida Panthers have missed the playoffs. For 10 years they have given their fans hope that they might end that streak. For 10 years it has always failed.
Los Angeles Kings
Film Comparison: Poltergeist
Ok, so maybe it's a bit of a reach, but the Los Angeles Kings may have have finally arrived as a Stanley Cup contender, and it's all I could think of.
Film Comparison: Falling Down
In the film, Michael Douglas' character has the worst day of his life. Even with some success in the playoffs, the Minnesota Wild have missed the playoffs for three years straight and did not make it out of the first round the two years before that.
The worst thing is that Minnesota, after years of being a defensive team, is still trying to find a new identity after the firing of Jacques Lemaire.
Film Comparison: Gone with the Wind
You might not like them, but you have to respect them.
That can be said about both Gone with the Wind and the Montreal Canadiens.
Film Comparison: Country Strong
Sorry, another obvious one. A team in the heart of country music, one of their players married to one of country music's biggest stars, they have to be compared to a movie about country music.
New Jersey Devils
Film Comparison: Jerry Maguire
"Show me the money!"
Here's a name: Ilya Kovalchuk. Here's some money: $100,000,000
New York Islanders
Film Comparison: Cutthroat Island
Never heard of it. There's a good reason for that. It's the biggest box office bomb in movie history.
Now, I don't mean to be mean-spirited, but do people in Long Island even know they have an NHL team? Sometimes, it seems like it.
New York Rangers
Film Comparison: The Godfather
"I'm going to make him an offer he can't refuse."
Glen Sather has made too many offers like this. Chris Drury, Scott Gomez and Wade Redden all come to mind.
Film Comparison: The Replacements
Colin Greening. Stephane De Costa. Kaspars Daugavins. Erik Condra. Bobby Butler. Do they sound like regular NHLers?
Film Comparison: Slap Shot
The Philadelphia Flyers have always been one of the toughest teams in the NHL. Players like Bobby Clarke, Rick Tocchet, Eric Lindros and Donald Brashear have been tough customers in the city of Brotherly Love.
Maybe not as tough as anyone in Slap Shot, but close.
Film Comparison: The Sixth Sense
"I see dead people"
The Phoenix Coyotes are as close to being a dead team as you can get, and unless a miracle happens, they will die after this season, and all of the Coyotes' fans will feel like the Bruce Willis character at the end of the movie.
Film Comparison: Sudden Death
Have to go with this one because it stars Pittsburgh's mascot, Iceburgh. Really, what else is there to go with? Happy Feet?
San Jose Sharks
Film Comparison: Jaws
I'll give you one chance to guess why.
St. Louis Blues
Film Comparison: The Blues Brothers
Hey, coming up with all these isn't as easy as you think. This being the last one I wrote, forgive me for the obvious choice once again.
Tampa Bay Lightning
Film Comparison: Scarface
"Say hello to my little friend."
Ok, that was just a short joke on Martin St. Louis, but you can't get much better a little friend than him.
Toronto Maple Leafs
Film Comparison: Avatar
This is really simple. The Toronto Maple Leafs are the most financially successful team in the NHL. Avatar is the most financially successful movie of all time.
Are we understanding each other?
Film Comparison: A League of Their Own
"There's no crying in baseball"
Same goes for hockey, and as many hockey experts have stated, the Canucks are notorious for complaining when something doesn't go there way, especially when they think a penalty should have been called.
Film Comparison: Titanic
For the past few seasons, the Washington Capitals have seemed to be almost unbeatable in the regular season only to choke when the reach the playoffs.
The story of the Titanic is very similar.
Film Comparison: Field of Dreams
"If you build it... they will come"
Winnipeg was devastated when it lost the Jets back in 1996. Ever since then, Mark Chipman had been working on a plan to bring them back.
He bought the IHL's Minnesota Moose and moved them to Winnipeg to become the Manitoba Moose. He eventually had the MTS Center and moved the Moose there. His plan, however, was always to get the Jets back.
They did eventually come, after True North Sports & Entertainment bought the Atlanta Thrashers and moved them into the MTS Center and the Jets were back.