The article below is completely satirical and my joke on a conference that never allows for anyone to criticize them. It is a complete JOKE so if you do not have a sense of humor please don't read.
Breaking news coming from the SEC football conference.
Nick Saban, Urban Meyer, and Les Miles have been named the Co-Presidents of the Southeastern Conference beginning in 2009.
The former SEC commissioner, Michael Adams, has decided to resign due to the constant hate mail and pressure from the SEC fans. The fans have been demanding for years that there needs to be a new playoff system as well as even more biased media coverage, but Adams was not willing to change anything.
While Saban, Meyer, and Miles have all been named the Co-Presidents due to their habitual SEC propensity, current South Carolina head coach Steve Spurrier has been named Vice President.The first order of business for these four men is something that will change college football entirely and might just make the SEC fans more dedicated and narrow-minded than ever before (who would have thought it was possible?).
The following excerpt is a direct quote from Miles' email which was sent to ESPN almost immediately following the announcement of the new SEC Presidents:
"It is our main goal and objective to completely make the SEC stand out as the best and only real conference in college football. Beginning in 2009 we have requested that the Southeastern Conference is the only conference allowed in NCAA Division 0A.
We have asked permission and have been granted it from the NCAA to remove all 12 SEC teams from Division 1A and put them in our own division and conference, NCAA 0A. We chose the number 0 because that is exactly how many teams outside of the SEC that can beat any of our teams.
SEC coaches and staff will no longer be allowed to recruit west of Louisiana and north of Arkansas and South Carolina. The other conferences will not be allowed to recruit anywhere southeast of Arkansas and directly south of South Carolina. We feel this won't change our level of play since our football is already the greatest in the country
There will be NO games out of conference or out of Division 0A scheduled. We feel it is important because we want our teams to always play the best competition.
Each team will play all 11 opponents every season and the SEC Div. 0A East winner will play the SEC Div. 0A West winner. The SEC Div. 0A conference championship will also be the National Championship.
All other conferences like the Pac 10, Big 12, ACC, Big 10 and any other conference that we're not worried about, will play for the National Championship "Runner Up" trophy. We feel this is the best thing for our conference and for the rest of the nation because it is already a given that our teams are far superior than any others.
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