For several years, the Pittsburgh Pirates marketing department has been diligently trying to bring hope to the hopeless fans with its slogans.
But, in those same several years, the Bucs have found new ways to make us lose our appetites and beat a dead horse coming up with countless pithy comments to insert after, "We will."
Although the Pirates have been and always will be my big league team, I have come to terms with the fact that loving my Bucs is nothing more than an unrequited romance.
I know going into each season that it most likely will not be that season, and the only record they're breaking is the one for most consecutive losing seasons.
I have even made the statement aloud that Bud Selig should allow the Buccos to pump up with some performance-enhancing drugs, just to give them the chance to compete.
When I look and consider the saxophone guy on the Clemente Bridge, the SkyBlast fireworks, and the Styx and Clarks' concerts to be the highlights of the season, I know things are pretty futile on the field.
But the Pirates are like that boyfriend you keep coming back to, even though you don't know why. Sure, he's pretty to look at in uniform and makes a lot of promises, but he always breaks your heart in the end.
I can only wonder what the marketing team is working on for the 2008 season. My heart goes out to them. I can't imagine bein responsible for trying to come up with a motto for a team whose Jolly Roger is getting depressed from being raised so rarely.