Quick, let's play $100,000 Pyramid:
- I don't want any money.
- That's enough pizza for me.
- Nickelback are musical gods.
Things I will never say in my lifetime? Correct!
You see, I am a fan of cash, Italian cuisine and good music. Nickelback doesn't qualify for that last category.
So when I came across the fact that Ford Field would be hosting an incredible Green Bay Packers vs. Detroit Lions game on Thanksgiving that would feature a halftime performance by the Canadian band (and I use "band" loosely here), a disgruntled "ughhh" followed suit.
Detroit—the city where Seger, Nugent, Cooper and Grand Funk Railroad rose to fame—is going to ask a Canadian post-grunge-alt-rock-bad-songwriting group to entertain the masses.
I realize complaining about the musical act of a football game is like complaining about a font choice for a film credit sequence, but a rock junkie like myself can't help but feel disappointed by the league's blatant disregard for the city's musical past. At the least, have Gene Simmons and KISS play Detroit Rock City and call it a show. At least it makes sense.
What made me feel better about the situation was the city of Detroit's response to the band's impending disaster of a performance on Thanksgiving—asking them to leave.
According to Yahoo Sports' Shutdown Corner blog, fans are attempting to disinvite Chad Kroeger and company from the Thanksgiving showdown. Good riddance.
They formed a petition, which at the time of writing, is at over 10,000 signatures. Lions coach Jim Schwartz couldn't be happier seeing the band out of his stadium. In his free time, when he isn't running after other coaches after post game handshakes, Schwartz rocks out to the likes of Iron Maiden and Aerosmith. So says his Twitter account.
If the NFL learned anything last year, it's that Brett Favre is past his expiration date and that current bands cannot put on a halftime show (looking at you, Black Eyed Peas). The 70s and 80s rockers might not have been the best performers in past Super Bowls due to age, but at least a majority of fans knew who they were. I can picture the Thanksgiving conversation now:
Dad/Uncle/Any other relative above the age of 30: "Who is playing the halftime show?"
I can't for the life of me figure out why anybody thought this was a good idea. I can only assume Roger Goodell is like most 52-year-old males and never heard any of their songs, which is the only thing keeping Nickelback slated to "rock" Detroit.
Commish, give this masterpiece a listen and get back to us with the new halftime act. You got a few weeks to find a replacement.