No social media has changed the way we perceive athletes more than Twitter.
The National Hockey League is no exception, with players and agents self-destructing before our very eyes with tweets that make Metta World Peace look smart.
Luckily for you, we have the dumbest of the NHL tweets right here in one place. #letsgetstarted
The list could be named after Phoenix Coyote left winger Paul Bissonnette.
Bissonnette is, by far, the most controversial NHL player on Twitter and makes several appearances on this list. His tweets often require little explanation.
How about some ill-advised commentary on Ilya Kovalchuk's contract to start things off.
"kovalchuk's gana have to give lap dances for 20 years instead of getting them now that he got rejected. sory communist. back to the soviet."
The comments were aimed at Kovalchuk's initial record-breaking contract with the New Jersey Devils being denied by the NHL.
Obviously, his comments could have been in better taste.
After a 25-month hiatus from Twitter, Alexander Ovechkin returned to cyberspace by tweeting a picture of Phil Kessel during the 2011 NHL All-Star Game.
He accompanied the photo with this message.
Obviously, Ovechkin was poking fun of Kessel for being "Mr. Irrelevant" in the fantasy draft that preceded the All-Star Game.
The problem is this. How can you make fun of someone who, at that point in the season, had more goals? And why do so after a two-year dead period on Twitter?
Inevitably, players who feel slighted by lackluster contracts will attempt to gain the sympathy of fans to gain leverage against their employers.
This is not an advisable strategy.
Goalie Dan Ellis learned that the hard way with these tweets.
“If you lost 18 percent of your income, would you be happy? I can honestly say that I am more stressed about money now than when I was in college.”
“I can’t explain it, and I never thought it would be the case, but it is true. Money in no way makes you more happy or makes life much easier.”
Naturally, fans in today's economy took issue with a millionaire pulling the sympathy card in front of blue-collar followers.
Let's hope Ellis learned his lesson.
It is typically the job of an agent to represent a player in a professional manner, only commenting publicly if it is in the best interests of the client.
Todd Reynolds needs to retake Sports Law 101.
Reynolds decided it would be a good idea to share his views on Sean Avery's latest public support for the Human Rights Campaigns New Yorkers for Marriage Equality movement.
His tweet read as follows.
“Very sad to read Sean Avery’s misguided support of same-gender ‘marriage’. Legal or not, it will always be wrong.”
Reynolds would later attempt to explain himself. By that time, the damage was already done, including his inevitable inclusion on the dumbest NHL tweets in history.
Paul Bissonnette has an affinity for the homeless and tweeted this remark with a picture.
"Just gave this guy money on the side of the road. Amazing sign. Love homeless people."
Such a great guy.
There is a good way to make an early splash for an NHL team in the first few years of an NHL career.
That way would be performance on the ice.
Florida Panther NHL draft pick Rocco Grimaldi made early headlines off the ice with this controversial tweet.
"Ladies, you can help us guys out big time. Put your boobs away and everything else that is hanging out. Guys have a hard enough time with that temptation without u helping it along. When did being a beautiful girl become dressing with the least amount of clothes on?"
Needless to say, Grimaldi drew much ire from fans regarding his opinions.
He also likely lost any potential dates with the ice dancers of the Florida Panthers.
Walsh, in an effort to elevate his client's stock, often tweets relevant statistics about his players. Sounds harmless, right?
In 2009, Walsh came to the support of client Jaroslav Halak. Unfortunately, he did so in spite of teammate and fellow goalie Carey Price.
"Interesting stat of the night....Price is 10W, 32L in last 42 starts. Hmm."
By lobbying for playing time for his client, Walsh instead initiated distractions in the locker room of the Montreal Canadiens.
And chances are, Price will not be hiring Walsh as an agent anytime soon.
More homeless blabber from our friend with a picture.
"this homeless guy was in vegas, safe to say i gave him some money."
Professional athletes cannot help themselves sometimes.
Rather than bite their tongue and move on from old teams, they must get that last word in to spark controversy and label former teams as "the bad guys."
Martin Havlat made it clear he wanted to remain a Chicago Blackhawk during the 2009 offseason. After signing with the Minnesota Wild, Havlat had this to say about the proceedings.
"Excited to be in Minny where I was welcomed and appreciated by management. The real story about what happened in Chicago to come out."
Now, if Havlat ever wanted to return to Chicago, those chances are now slim and none. Its never smart to burn bridges, friends.
Occasionally, social media accounts get hacked, and the victims must deal with any embarrassment that the accompanies it.
Let's hope that was the case in this tweet by Edmonton Oiler Taylor Hall.
The tweet included the following.
"f--- the oilers I'm going to the flames #oilersfansaretheworst."
Hall vehemently claims his account was hacked. We will believe you this time, Mr. Hall. Just don't let it happen again.
Oh, and come up with a stronger password.
"the best bum of all time is in vancouver. He sings a some about the clap, with spoons. if u dont know what clap is, lookup urban dictionary."
Raise your hand if you knew who this guy was before Twitter.
Jeremy Roenick is a great hockey personality and one fans should definitely follow on Twitter.
Though not smart, his rants against Philadelphia Flyers fans were hilarious. Or angering if you are a Flyers fan.
Roenick started off by saying Flyers fans were "less than hospitable," among other criticisms.
After receiving much hate via Twitter, Roenick responded with Part 1 of the spar.
"@tommlovell like I care if you call me names. Try to argue my point about philly being the worst on opposing teams. Ur an idiot."
More to come from Mr. Roenick.
After stirring up more backlash, Roenick again responded to more flak from Flyers fans.
"Wow u philly fans habe it so wrong its crazy. But u wanna be like that. So be it. I will always love philly. Sorry if u misinterpreted."
Too late to backtrack now. The damage was already done, which led to...
Rounding out the terrible trifecta for Jeremy Roenick:
"SoundFlyer14 then I'm out of ur books bro. U have no idea what its like representing diff cities as a pro athlete cause u never were one."
As a professional athlete, you can never win a virtual argument against fans. Especially fans from Philadelphia.
It only makes things worse.
Yes, you should probably just follow Paul Bissonnette @BizNasty2point0. He will provide you with daily stupid tweets.
Now, for the grand finale.
"at my parents house trying to convince my dad to put his shirt on. He has a body like a milk bag."
What is he even talking about? No one knows.