Kim Kardashian Divorce: Kim Breaks Silence with Idiotic Statement

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Kim Kardashian Divorce: Kim Breaks Silence with Idiotic Statement
Pascal Le Segretain/Getty Images

After news over her shocking divorce broke early Monday morning, Kim has stayed in the shadows, leaving us to wonder what in the world could have broken up this seemingly perfect marriage.

But the wait is finally over, as Kim has posted a message to her fans on her blog. We finally get answers to the questions that had been haunting us for nearly two whole days.

This is probably the hardest thing I’ve ever had to write.

That's because it has to be capitalized, punctuated and devoid of any LOLs. Oh, whom am I kidding? Her publicist is writing this.

I see all of the support and I am so thankful for my fans, friends and family who are helping me through this difficult time.

There are people supporting her through this? Is she mistaking Buzz Feed's mock vigil for people actually caring? Could she possibly be that vain? Don't answer that.

I am trying not to read all the different media reports but it’s hard not to see all the negative ones.

Translation: "I've got a Google alert set up for my name."

First and foremost, I married for love. I can’t believe I even have to defend this.

I can't believe that I have to defend my 72-day marriage! That's, like, so long you guys.

I would not have spent so much time on something just for a TV show! I share so much of my life on a reality show, that contemplating whether to even film my wedding was a tough decision to make, and maybe it turned out to not be the smartest decision. But it’s who I am! 

I was totally about to keep my wedding from being televised, but then I made the tough decision to turn it into a four-hour television event that netted me $20 million. But that's just me. That's just who I am.

We filmed Kourtney giving birth, Khloe getting married, break ups, make ups, our best moments and our worst moments. These were all real moments. That’s what makes us who we are. We share, we give, we love and we are open!

What part of "reality" in "reality show" don't you understand? This is real life. It's not scripted and there aren't people working behind the scenes to manufacture drama or plot lines. Haven't you seen The Hills?

We share our amazing lives with you poor, pathetic commoners. We give. We love. ARE YOU NOT ENTERTAINED?

Charley Gallay/Getty Images

 

Everyone that knows me knows that I’m a hopeless romantic!

Well, yeah. Duh. Common knowledge.

I love with all of my heart and soul. I want a family and babies and a real life so badly that maybe I rushed in to something too soon. I believed in love and the dream of what I wanted so badly.

Do you have any idea how much money I could rake in from baby pictures? Wouldn't you rush into something if another seven-figure payday was just a semi-unpleasant sexual experience with a professional athlete away?

I felt like I was on a fast roller coaster and couldn’t get off when now I know I probably should have.

Future advice: the best time to get off a fast roller coaster is at the top of a hill. That's when it's going the slowest. Trust me on this.

I got caught up with the hoopla and the filming of the TV show that when I probably should have ended my relationship, I didn’t know how to and didn’t want to disappoint a lot of people. 

Plus it was probably in her contract that she had to go through with it. But mostly it was the disappointing part.

Clive Brunskill/Getty Images

 

I’m being honest here and I hope you respect my courage because this isn’t easy to go through. But I do know that I have to follow my heart. I never had the intention of hurting anybody and I accept full responsibility for my actions and decisions, and for taking everyone on this journey with me. It just didn’t turn out to be the fairy tale I had so badly hoped for.

Not everyone has the courage to face people through a blog post and divorce your husband and letting TMZ tell him is not something. That's a special kind of courage.

And the 72 days that she was married didn't really seem all that bad. Lavish parties and events day after day. I can't imagine that time was so much different than the rest of her relationship with Kris Humphries. Maybe we should blame the lockout and that fact that she actually had to spend time with him. That seems more likely.

There are also reports that I made millions of dollars off of the wedding. These reports are simply not true and it makes me so sad to have to even clarify this. I’m so grateful to everyone who took the time to come to my wedding...

Riiiight. The two-day event that did enormous ratings for E! (who, you know, pays you) didn't net you any sort of money at all. It's so sad that anybody would have jumped to that conclusion.

...and I’ll be donating the money for all the gifts to the Dream Foundation.

But I'm keeping the cotton candy machine! I earned that!

I’m sorry if I have hurt anyone, but my dad always told me to follow my heart I believe now that I really am.

And with that, we finally get an answer to everything. Kim was just following her heart.

Most of us, when we follow our heart, take two minutes to actually think things through. That's what actually keeps us from hurting people most of the time. It's a novel concept.

So goodbye for now, Kim. That is, until you start dating Dwight Howard.

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