And so it is official: Kim Kardashian's marriage to Kris Humphries is ending after a whopping 72 days.
Fittingly, the number 72 represents more starts than Humphries has in his NBA career (52), but is less than the number of broadcasted and planned shows for "Keeping Up With the Kardashians" after the 2012 season wraps up (89).
One imagines the first episode in July will be Kim addressing the divorce in detail. This marriage was never supposed to have a chance.
Neither did these other famous marriages in sports, though for far less business-savvy reasons.
To the divorces!
Listen, Agassi had to get out of this marriage—it had caused his slump! From People:
On Fri., April 9,10 days short of their second wedding anniversary, Agassi filed for divorce in Las Vegas, where they have a home. Later that day, the couple announced in a joint statement that they were ending their marriage with "the utmost love and respect for each other." Perhaps, but the sudden split didn't keep Agassi, who turns 29 on April 29, from competing in Hong Kong's Salem Open tournament that weekend, part of his effort to reverse a career slump that began in 1997, the year he married Shields.
Can you imagine if that had been in the divorce papers?
Client has expressed incompatability issues, stating most notably that client's wife had become a "jinx" and "was totally killing my game." Client did not explicitly state it was his tennis game that had been affected, however.
The sham in this marriage was that two of the most iconic celebrities of their generation could somehow find time to be married between being Joe DiMaggio and Marilyn Monroe. As was the notion that Joe could share the likeness of his wife with the world. From the Daily Mail:
The chemistry was palpable; their relationship tempestuous but passionate. But from the moment the couple said their vows in an intimate civil ceremony at San Francisco City Hall, the union was doomed.
In September of that year, Marilyn was shooting the now-iconic scene from The Seven Year Itch, standing on a subway grate with her skirt blowing up to reveal her legs.
A large crowd gathered as director Billy Wilder instructed the scene be shot again and again. DiMaggio, who had visited Monroe on set, was furious at the spectacle and flew into a rage.
Two weeks later, it was announced the couple had separated. In November that year, their divorce was issued.
The video pretty much sums things up, though if you want more depth on the relationship—which makes it seem as though Givens had ulterior motives—you'll want to check this out.
The marriage lasted all of one year.
Seriously, they only lasted for 72 days.
I think hilarious tweeter (and professional hockey player) Paul Bissonnette pretty much sums this one up:
If you added up all the ice time I get this season it would be longer than Kim Kardashian's marriage.
He went on to add:
..... If you include warm-ups.
People does a nice job recapping this short-lived marriage:
Electra first encounters NBA wild man Dennis Rodman at L.A.'s Billboard Live nightclub when his friend grabs her by the arm and pulls her over to meet Rodman. Eight months later, they wed at the Little Chapel of Flowers in Las Vegas, sometime before 8 a.m. Less than two weeks later, Rodman files for annulment, claiming he was inebriated at the nuptials. "It's easy to get caught up in a moment," Electra tells PEOPLE. "You think it's romantic, but then you realize, 'God, we did it in Vegas?' It's like getting a cheeseburger at a fast-food restaurant."
My favorite part is "inebriated at the nuptials."
No, I take it back, it is definitely the analogy that compares their marriage to fast food.