St. Louis Cardinals: Who Plays Who in the Movie

Kelly Scaletta@@KellyScalettaFeatured ColumnistNovember 3, 2011

St. Louis Cardinals: Who Plays Who in the Movie

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    The St. Louis Cardinals had a season, and a game, for the ages in 2011. It was an amazing, spectacular year. The Cardinals came from an unprecedented 10.5 games back with just 30 games left in the season to make the playoffs. 

    Then, after that, they came back from a 2-1 deficit to win the series against the best rotation in baseball history in the Philadelphia Phillies. Then, they beat the best home team in baseball three out of four on their won turf. Then, they beat the best offensive team in baseball.

    In Game 6 of the World Series, they had their signature moment, being an out away form elimination not once, but twice. Both times, they recovered and won. 

    The word "resilient" became synonymous with the St. Louis Cardinals. For America's past-time there could not be a better story. America loves the come back. The movie The Cardiac Cards has to be in the works in Hollywood as I type.

    So, I've been giving it some thought and here is who should play who in the coming feature film. 

Allen Craig

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    The young up and comer who knocked in the game-winning run in Game 1 when he was pinch hitting, and who knocked in the go-ahead or game-winning runs in three of the seven games has to be in the movie somewhere. 

    Here, I was looking for two things, the round face and the sense of humor. For some reason, Craig always seems to be smiling. Maybe it's because he's always getting those big hits.

    Michael Gladis, formerly of Mad Men and presently of the comedy Eaglehert, fits both bills. 

Dave Duncan

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    Here, we need someone who can really act. Dave Duncan's story was a huge part of the Cardinals story. His wife was diagnosed with cancer, and he left the team for a while to be at her side. However, eventually she banished him back to the club, saying their two sons would be able to take care of her. 

    Duncan has been a huge part of the Cardinals' success for years now, and his return and coaching of the bullpen was a major reason they won this year. Every good sports movie needs a tear-jerking moment or two, and the hospital scene with Mrs. Duncan telling him to get his @#$%@!!!! back to the ball club sure would make a great one!

    For Duncan, I think a great fit would be the prestigious Kelsey Grammer. He has the right age and the right look, and Grammer is a solid actor who has been nominated for four Emmys. 

Jason Motte

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    It has been reported that if you squeeze Jason Motte's beard, applesauce will come out. You have to have Motte in the movie, and the guy has to have the beard to match. He also has to have that touch of crazy that you expect from a closer. 

    The perfect fit for this role is Zach Galifianakis, most noted for his work in The Hangover movies. He's got the right amount of crazy, and more importantly, the right amount of facial hair!


Matt Holliday

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    Matt Holliday was a lynch-pen for the Cardinals offense this year. In fact, while he was in the lineup, the Cardinals scored about one run more than when he wasn't. 

    It was a tough year though for Holliday, as he was in and out through the season. He's a tough man, though, and came back from an appendectomy after just 10 days. It was the little things that kept haunting him all year. 

    The role of Holliday needs to be a tough guy, and Dominec Purcell, best known for his role as Lincoln Burroughs from Prison Break, would be the perfect fit. 

Lance Berkman

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    How appropriate is it that the Comeback Player of the Year was on the Comeback Team of Forever? Or, for that matter, that he had a key hit the Comeback Game of Infinity?

    Lance Berkman just has one of those faces that when you look at him, you know a punchline is the next thing out of his mouth. The only time he's not looking like he's going to crack a joke is when he's looking like he's about to crack a ball out of the park. 

    The Big Puma, aka Fat Elvis, has a bit of the redneck in him, or at least he seems like he does, so why not Daniel Whitney, a.k.a. Larry the Cable Guy to play him in the movie?

Yadier Molina

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    Yadier Molina is one of the really, really brilliant catchers of this era. He doesn't have two arms. He has one arm and one rifle. The way you know a real Cardinals fan is real Cards fans know that Yadier might be the second most important player on the team. 

    To play the role of Molina, there are three things that are needed: fierceness, toughness and intelligence. All three of those were exhibited by Molina's look alike, Guillermo Díaz, in his role of Guillermo in the Showtime TV series, Weeds. He would make an excellent Yadier.  

Chris Carpenter

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    When I first saw Warren Christie on Alphas,  the first thing that came to mind was, "Wow, that guy reminds me of Chris Carpenter." Then it turned out he was actually a pitcher at one time in the show. The way Carpenter's curve ball was breaking against the Phillies, they might have thought they were dealing with Cameron Hicks. 

    The role of Carpenter on the team would be a great one, with him anchoring the staff coming to grips with his less than stellar start halfway through the season. His turnaround was pivotal and almost syncronous with the Cardinals. 

Albert Pujols

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    The role of Albert Pujols is going to really require some acting. Whoever plays him needs to have the accent down, they need to be able to have the demeanor right and they need to have the goatee. You also can't have some little guy playing him. 

    Ricardo Chavira is best known for his role as Carlos Solis in Desperate Housewives. Over the course of his time on the show, he's shown a lot of acting versatility and he would be a great Albert Pujols in the movie. And he has the goatee. 

David Freese

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    There are three things that you need to have in the David Freese role. First, he needs to have the look of a hero. Second, he needs to be a relatively unknown guy who is breaking out and third, he has to be, has to be, from St. Louis. 

    The perfect person for this role is David Giutoli, star of the new NBC show Grimm. He's got some resemblance to Freese, and he's from St. Louis. 

Tony La Russa

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    This was arguably the best year of Tony La Russa's career, and it was one of the top careers in the history of baseball. Personally and professionally, this was a real season for history as far as La Russa is concerned. 

    There can be lots of "flashback" moments with La Russa constantly reminiscing about the past, as he alone knows that this is his final year. There's the relationship with Duncan and knowing what his wife is going through. There's the relationship with Pujols and what he's going through. 

    La Russa would be the pivotal character in the story, and so much revolves around him. It would have to be a very solid actor, and one with a jawline that matches La Russa's. The perfect casting for this role is John Travolta. He can act, and he's got the jaw.