5 NFL Players to Dress Up Like on Halloween
With Halloween right around the corner, maybe you are still trying to pick out the right costume. Well if you are, then you are in the right place. Today I'm going to show you five NFL players that you could dress up as for your Halloween party.
That glorious mullet pictured above belongs to Paul McQuistan of the Oakland Raiders. Look at the way it flows down his back, like a Kentucky waterfall. Just look at the glorious feathered look he has up top. It's amazing.
I'm giving you that one as a freebie. Keep reading for the five NFL players you should dress up as for Halloween.
Steelers defensive end Brett Keisel's beard is a force of nature. I mean, just look at it! The texture, the length, the girth of those whiskers.
If I could sum up Brett Keisel's beard in one word: undeniable.
You can't deny the power of Keisel's beard. You could dress up as Brett Keisel, or you could just go to Halloween as Brett Keisel's beard, which is a better idea, in my opinion.
A crapload of hair.
None, just glue the hair to your body. Go as Brett Keisel's beard, and when people ask what the hell you're supposed to be, tell them, "I'm Brett Keisel's beard. There is a lost civilization living in here." You are guaranteed to have a unique costume at your office Halloween party.
Troy Polamalu's hair takes a backseat to his teammate Brett Keisel's beard, but that doesn't make it any less spectacular. This is one guy you could go as and probably not get asked a ton of questions like "who are you?" Because Troy Polamalu is a bona fide NFL superstar and a TV star with all those dandruff commercials.
Steelers jersey, and some really long, soft-looking hair. You are going to need a wig for this, because there is no way possible you could try to create Troy Polamalu's incredible hair with your average ordinary-looking hair.
Maybe a bottle of Head and Shoulders, just like the commercials.
I know he isn't a player, but that isn't going to stop me from putting Cowboy's defensive coordinator Rob Ryan on my list!
Rex's twin brother is too awesome to be left off the list because of a technicality. I have long been a fan of Rob's, and I even wrote this piece called "Rob Ryan's Hair is Glorious." I think this would be a great costume for any single guy, because you know the ladies are all over Rob Ryan with that mane he is sporting.
Just some awesome, flowing, silver hair and an attitude.
If you have a twin brother that talks a lot of smack, take him to the party with you and you have nailed the Rob Ryan costume.
Again, I know, Jon Gruden is a former coach-turned-broadcaster. He's not a player.
However, when everybody called you Chucky because of your intense facial expressions, you have to make this list. Gruden has won a Super Bowl, he is a star on Monday Night Football and now he will rock your office Halloween party as the best costume there.
You need to dress like a coach, but more than anything, just look really pissed off all the time.
At some point during the party, take some poor guy off to the side and start grilling him about the finer points of being an NFL quarterback. Start playing random footage on a VHS tape. He will get really uncomfortable, and probably think "How the hell did I get into this?"
Don't worry, that is how the real college QBs feel when they go on Gruden's QB show on ESPN.
Ladies and gentlemen, I give you the blue-ribbon-winning costume!
If you go as Plaxico Burress, you have two distinct advantages. One, you are dressed like you're going to the club, so if your Halloween party is lame, just leave and head to the club for real! Two, if anybody messes with you, you are carrying a gun and it's loaded.
A nice shirt with some designer jeans. Oh yeah, I almost forgot—the jeans have to have a hole in them with some fake blood running down your leg.
A small-caliber handgun, preferably a 9mm, and a cell phone handy to dial 9-1-1.