Blame The Hoodie

Jeremy MasonCorrespondent IFebruary 8, 2008

Just an over-worn, overrated article of cheaply tailored clothing.  That's all Belichick's infamous cut-off hoodie really is.  

But with the Patriot's unbelievable run at perfection recently snubbed by a stingy Giants’ team, many are left searching for answers.  Why not go to the hoodie for some hints?

I find it just a little too coincidental that the first game this season in which the Patriots were held under 20 points, the first game in which they were ultimately outscored, the first game in which they were really outplayed, and the first game they lost all season long, was the time Belichick inexplicably decided to kick both tradition and superstition to the curb, pulling a different hoodie from his closet.  Red?  Was he serious?

Belichick's dumb wardrobe selection was exceeded only by his dumb coaching.  Since I cannot come up with any other reasons as to why the genius would be upstaged by a guy who’s name sounds like the flu (Coughlin), I’m blaming the hoodie.

As the saying goes, “If it ain’t broke, don’t fix it.” (Somebody should’ve reminded the Suns of this, too).

So if you wear the same thing for an18-game run of wins, why would you change it?  This would never have happened in baseball, where many players and coaches are so superstitious that they don’t wash their socks for the duration of a winning streak.

So Bill, here’s my advice: throw away the red hoodie.  Cut it into little shreds and burn it.  Pray to the football gods for their forgiveness and beg them to again bless the original  hoodie.  Maybe then you can go undefeated and double the population of Perfectville, while simultaneously silencing the washed up, getting-older-everyday 1972 ‘Phins.

Please Bill, I’m begging you.  I’m not sure how much more of Mercury Morris’ malignant monologue I can stomach.