With Christmas coming up in a couple of weeks, I decided to make a list for the unworthy in sports.
Plaxico Burress: a pair of pants with belt loops, a belt, a new fake id
Sean Avery: a pad of paper to write down what is on his mind because nobody cares what he is saying.
Deuce McAllister, Will Smith, Charles Grant, Pat Williams, Kevin Williams, Bryan Pittman: tickets to the Super Bowl, because they won't be able to play
Antonio Pierce: a better alibi
Sam Mitchell: a buyer for his Toronto home
Stephon Marbury: a trade, buyout, lazy-boy recliner.
Charlie Weis: a pair of Plaxico's pants
Detroit Lions: a win
Cincinnati Bengals: another win
LeBron James: a New York condo
Auburn Football: a coach who might bring a couple of wins
Michael Phelps: a new mugshot for the cover of SI's Sportsman of the Year.
A-Rod: a pair of earmuffs to muffle the sound of Madonna's music
San Diego Chargers: a defense
Buffalo Bills: tilted uprights (two missed field goals last week, and don't forget Scott "Wide Right" Norwood)
Tyler Hansborough: NCAA Championship
Colt McCoy: Heisman Trophy, BCS Championship
Oklahoma: BCS Championship
Alabama: BCS Championship
Florida: BCS Championship
you get the point.