Top Ten Sexiest Teams in College Football

ZeptogatorCorrespondent IDecember 3, 2008

Screw the BCS rankings.

That seems to be the consensus these days.  All these ranking systems appear increasingly arbitrary this year.

We all know that it is not just about winning. It's about winning in style. It's about entertainment value. It's about bringing sexy back to college football.

Face it, sex sells.

Would you rather drive a Mercedes Benz or a Prius Hybrid? The Prius gets great gas mileage, but the Benz is, well a Benz.

Would you rather eat a juicy steak or a hamburger? Both are meaty and filling, but doesn't the steak make your mouth water? (Insert drooling Homer Simpson image here)

Would you rather date a Victoria's Secret model, or one of those dancing Hanes models? Most guys would be more than happy with either option. Keep dreaming though, this is just a hypothetical.

Let's return our focus back to football. Is everyone back with me?

Thank you. Now, I would like to add yet another arbitrary college football poll to the mix.

Here is the 2008 edition of:


Top Ten Sexiest Teams in College Football

10. Appalachian State Mountaineers (11-2)

This is the sexiest team in the FCS and the tenth sexiest team in all of college football. The Mountaineers are the three time defending FCS champions and is currently in the playoffs defending their titles. In the FCS, Appalachian State has long been a rock star, but only became widely known after beating the sexless Michigan Wolverines last year. With Armanti Edwards at QB, this team is sexy.


9. Missouri Tigers (9-3)

Missouri, with the fourth highest scoring offense in the country, averages a sexy 45 points per game and won the Big 12 North Division this year. Guys like Chase Daniels and Jeremy Maclin make the Tigers a sexy team. Despite their ups and downs this year, don't count this team out just yet.


8. Texas Christian Horned Frogs (10-2)

It is hard for many to imagine that a team with the words "Christian", "Horned", and "Frogs" in their title could even be remotely sexy. However, this year's Horned Frogs are indeed sexy. TCU has the second ranked scoring defense in the country. Like a pretty girl playing hard to get, the Frogs give up only 10.9 points per game.


6 (Tied). Boise State Broncos (12-0)

Tied in sixth place are the Boise State Broncos. A proven BCS contender, the Broncos sport an extremely sexy 12-0 record this year. Perhaps one or two of the sexiest moments in all of college football came in Boise State's overtime win against the Oklahoma Sooners in the 2007 Fiesta Bowl. However, despite their record and recent hotness, their sexiness quotient is extremely damaged by the blue field that they play on. The Broncos need a serious make-over before they can win the tie-breaker and be allowed anywhere near the top five.


6 (Tied). Oklahoma State Cowboys (9-3)

The Cowboys only finished fourth in the competitive Big 12 South and are on few if any top ten lists. However, the Cowboys did beat the Missouri Tigers this year and gave their arch rival the Oklahoma Sooners a scare. And who can forget coach Mike Gundy stating that "I'm a Man!". Even at 40+ years old, that is sexy. Yes, the 9-3 Cowboys are manly and worthy of sixth place.


5. Alabama Crimson Tide (12-0)

The Tide is undefeated and has the third ranked scoring defense in the country, yet they are only the fifth sexiest team in the country. Alabama is the strong silent type, going about its business in old school fashion. They are not flashy or ostentatious. Their allure is muted and understated.


4. USC Trojans (10-1)

USC plays at the sexiest school in one of the sexiest states in the country. Their mascot is the Trojan. What other justification is needed?


3. Texas Longhorns (11-1)

The Longhorns have a pretty good QB with a sexy name. Plus they are a really really good team. Unfortunately, it looks like this sexy team will be left out of the two biggest parties of the year and will not even get an invitation. Texas is all dressed up with no where to go.


2. Oklahoma Sooners (11-1)

The Sooners have the highest ranked scoring offense in the country and are set to break the NCAA scoring mark this year. They can score on anyone, anywhere, anytime. Unfortunately, this aggressive, explosive offense is attached to a solid but not spectacular defense and questionable special teams. Not quite the total package, the Sooners are the second sexiest team and Sooner Nation should be proud.


1. Florida Gators (11-1)

The Gators play in the Swamp under sunny blue skies and in sultry climates while sipping Gatorade and relaxing to Jimmy Buffett music as they destroy their opponents in front of 90,000+ scantily clad fans. Their quarterback is a cute and honorable Heisman Trophy winner named Tim Tebow. Women swoon in his presence. Some men do as well.  Easy as 1, 2, 3, this team is sexy fast.  Speed is hot.  With the third ranked scoring offense and the fifth ranked scoring defense in the nation, the Gators are the total package and are the Sexiest Team in College Football for 2008.