Dear FBS Schools: Pick on Teams Your Own Size! (A Parable)

Eventually the fair-spirited kids got together and signed a petition against the behavior of the bullies, and requesting that the school enforce the division between the two groups by having the competition take place with formal fighting rules, strictly enforcing the division between "bully" class and "weakling" class, with no fights outside of class even permitted to take place on school grounds.

This regulation brought about much groaning and complaining from the bullies; after all, they were used to dictating the terms of competition themselves, without interference.

The lesson that the bullies learned, though, is a valuable one, both for the bullies and for sporting competitions in general:

PICK ON SOMEONE YOUR OWN SIZE.

Here are the current "bully major" (BCS) and "bully mid-major" category standings:

"BULLY MAJOR" TOP 10 (BCS conferences; FCS opponents omitted)

• Alabama: 11-0* (Western Kentucky, though WKU will be FBS in 2009)
• Texas: 11-1
• Oklahoma: 10-1* (Chattanooga)
• Florida: 10-1* (Citadel)
• Penn State: 10-1* (Coastal Carolina)
• USC: 10-1
• Texas Tech: 9-1** (Eastern Washington; Massachusetts)
• Ohio State: 9-2* (Youngstown St.)
• Cincinnati: 9-2* (Eastern Kentucky)
• Michigan State or Oregon: tied @ 9-3

"BULLY MID-MAJOR" TOP 10 (non-BCS conferences; FCS opponents omitted)

• Utah: 11-0* (Weber State)
• Boise State: 11-0* (Idaho State)
• Ball State: 10-0* (Western Kentucky, see above; Northeastern)
• TCU: 9-2* (Stephen F. Austin)
• BYU: 9-2* (Northern Iowa)
• Tulsa: 9-2* (Central Arkansas)
• Rice: 9-3
• Western Michigan: 8-3* (Tennessee Tech)
• East Carolina: 8-4
• Air Force (Southern Utah) or Central Michigan (Eastern Illinois): tied @ 7-4*
  

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