In today's American culture, athletes are ubiquitous features. Their names, prominently displayed on their backs during games, are regular topics of conversation in nearly every American household. The quintessential U.S. male bonding experience is that of the father taking his son to his first baseball game, intoning the names of the players as though they were gods among men. Here's a look at some of the names more likely to get a laugh than a reverential discussion.
Coco Crisp is a skilled leadoff hitter and center fielder for MLB's Oakland A's. His name, however, does not conjure up images of a speedy outfielder with a .330 career On-Base Percentage, but those of a breakfast cereal. One can imagine the Cocoa Puffs bird switching to Coco Crisp to wean himself off of his debilitating addiction.
LeGarrette Blount is a running back for the NFL's Tampa Bay Buccaneers, and is considered a rising star in his profession. His name, however, combines the ubiquitous "adding random syllables" frequently seen in sports today with the multifaceted meanings of the word "blunt". The result: a classic name.
Wandy Wodwiguez, a pitchew fow the Awizona Diamondbacks... The joke potential is pretty much endless here.
Richie Incognito is a guard for the Miami Dolphins of the NFL. Alternately, Richie Incognito could be a cheesy 70s TV show about a spy agency. Either way, "Incognito" is pretty much the last thing one wants to be on a football field, regardless of position.
D'Brickashaw Ferguson is a Pro Bowl left tackle for the New York Jets. D'Brickashaw was named for an 80s book and TV character named Ralph de Bricassart. His name isn't a pun or an entertaining double entendre, it's just extremely entertaining to say.
Talk about an ego booster. Through high school, he apparently attempted to alleviate some of the pressure that comes with being named not once, but twice after the lord of all creation by answering to "Shammgod Wells." Fortunately, this period came to an end when a court ordered him to either legally change his name or go by his birth name of "God Shammgod", one that he would continue to use in the NBA.
Dick Trickle is a decorated former NASCAR racer. While I don't usually like to make easy jokes, or juvenile puns, there are some that are irresistible.
Ditto for the unfortunately titled Lucious Pusey, a Linebacker for Eastern Illinois University.
Andreas Ivanschitz, the captain of the Austrian National Soccer Team, is the only man on this list whose last name is a full sentence. Unfortunately, it's not an appealing one.
Buster Rhymes has to be No. 1 on a list of entertaining sports names. Everything about it is perfect. Even if it weren't so endearingly similar to rapper Busta Rhymes, the name is jam-packed full of awesome, combining an entertaining first name with a truly fantastic surname.
A toast to you, Buster Rhymes, you are the owner of the greatest name in sports history.