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The Bucket List: Kane

Paul McIntyreCorrespondent IIIOctober 12, 2016

The Bucket List: Kane

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    In my last edition (the first one) of The Bucket List, I pondered four different objectives that the Undertaker should achieve before his looming retirement occurs. Naturally, this led me to thoughts of another man, one who was in fact a part of Undertaker's Bucket List.

    That man is Kane.

    The Big Red Machine is an overlooked commodity in WWE, and has been for a very, very long time; a consummate professional, Glen Jacobs, the man who portrays Kane, has proven beyond doubt his dedication to WWE during a memorable, but undervalued, career in which he has done whatever was deemed good for business, putting over countless young stars and proceeding with several questionable storylines (you know what one I'm talking about).

    Yes, Kane has certainly earned the right to bow out of WWE with the best possible legacy, which could be attained through the following four concepts.

Revive the Tag Team Division with Big Show

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    Make no mistake, Kane has had a great career. While never the most prominent superstar, and despite rarely being given a long term push as a main event star, one place Kane has always shined is in the tag team division. Whether it be with major stars like Undertaker and Rob Van Dam, or even cult figures such as The Hurricane, he has been one half of many memorable teams.

    Another of those teams is with Big Show.

    Both being mid card figures for the majority of their careers, these two company men aren't just believable as a monstrous tag team; they are the very definition of one. Beloved by the crowd as domineering faces and despised when portraying the bullying heels, they are three-time tag team champions that the WWE fans are acclimatised to as a legitimate tag team.

    With Big Show having just returned from 'The Hall of Pain' and Kane most likely to follow him soon, both men are probably going to be involved in the same feud, against a red hot Mark Henry; this is ideal for them to reunite as a team and, whenever they have completed their program with The World's Strongest Man, they would be formidable opponents with the up and coming Air Boom. 

Eliminate More Than 11 Participants in the Royal Rumble

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    About 10 years ago, Kane entered the 2001 Royal Rumble, and proceeded to eliminate over a third of the participants, including a contingency of hardcore wrestlers such as Steve Blackman, Raven and Crash Holly. Hilariously, he also eliminated Tazz in 10 seconds, eliminated the Honky Tonk Man after smashing his guitar over his head and, perhaps most memorably, he even managed to scare TV personality Drew Carey into eliminating himself.

    Overall, his tally of eliminations was 11.

    He should eclipse that in the next Royal Rumble.

    That record is the most unique aspect of Kane's legacy, and always will be; the best superstars all have one unique aspect to their careers. For some, like Hulk Hogan and Stone Cold, that aspect is being a commercial juggernaut; for others, like Shawn Michaels, it is having the most consistently brilliant matches.

    Undertaker has the streak. Kane has the Royal Rumble.

    If this weren't a bucket list, I'd assert that Kane should actually win the Royal Rumble. But he is long past his best, and in the twilight of his career shouldn't be a possibility to headline a WrestleMania. It would possibly be heartwarming to see him rewarded like that, since really he should have won in 2001 (though Austin winning was wiser in the long term), but it wouldn't be good for business.

    But I digress. The reason I think he should eclipse his own record is that there are now 40 competitors in the Royal Rumble, giving future superstars a higher probability of bettering his record. With this in mind, he should eliminate somewhere between 15 and 20 wrestlers, solidifying his reputation as one of the most dominant brawlers in WWE history.

Put the Mask Back on

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    Look to your left.

    Veteran fans of WWE, disregard the last nine years of Kane. And remember what was.

    Young fans of WWE, disregard whatever you know of Kane. And listen to what was.

    What you all can see is one of the greatest monsters in the history of WWE.

    What you see is an entity that debuted in 1997, ripping apart a cage door and sending his brother, The Undertaker, straight to hell with a tombstone piledriver of thunderous proportions.

    What you see is the real Kane. The one we will always remember.

    Why not recapture that magic one more time?

    For those of you that don't remember, before being put in 'The Hall of Pain' by Mark Henry after losing a No Holds Barred Match to Randy Orton, Kane was seen backstage, contemplating with disgust the humanity that was creeping into his persona. It's not an uncommon direction for Kane, who often does this before turning heel and destroying everyone in sight for a few months.

    It has never been as convincing as when he wore the mask, though.

    So why not have him return with it? This idea is completely viable, with the concept being that Kane was so disgusted at his inability to overcome Mark Henry, after already being scared of his increasing humanity, that he decided to recapture a period of time when he was the most feared superstar in WWE, when he wore the red and black mask.

    Do it WWE. Give us back the real Big Red Machine. And let him bow out the real Big Red Machine.

Reunite with Paul Bearer

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    Another aspect of Kane's most fearsome time in WWE was his alignment with Paul Bearer. If he were to return with the mask and Paul Bearer, one last mega push could be in the cards.

    I already touched upon this in my article about the Undertaker, and my preoccupation with having Paul Bearer on screen is partly just how entertaining I find him, but also partly that I hope he begins a new, prosperous period of managers in WWE. His value to both Undertaker and Kane, speaking for them in promos when they were both mute monsters, is indisputable, and the same could be done for countless other competitors who have talent in the ring but no charisma or ability on the mic. 

Thanks for Reading!

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    I hope you all enjoyed my opinion about how Kane should go about his retirement; writing about how he should go about retiring was enjoyable since there are plenty of suggestions to make on how he can improve in order to go out in the best way imaginable.

    For those of you that read and enjoyed this, but didn't read the Undertaker's Bucket List, it can be found here. If you enjoy it, or disagree with any of my opinions, please feel free to comment and discuss it with me. The same goes for this Bucket List.

    Until next time, I'll be seeing you all.

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